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No Way to Treat a Child: How the Foster Care System, Family Courts, and Racial Activists Are Wrecking Young Lives
The American child welfare system is bent toward protecting adults, not children.Kids in danger are treated instrumentally to promote the rehabilitation of their parents, the welfare of their communities, and the social justice of their race and tribe—all with the inevitable result that their most precious developmental years are lost in bureaucratic and judicial red tape. It is time to stop letting efforts to fix the child welfare system get derailed by activists who are concerned with race-matching, blood ties, and the abstract demands of social justice, and start asking the most important Where are the emotionally and financially stable, loving, and permanent homes where these kids can thrive?“Naomi Riley’s book reveals the extent to which abused and abandoned children are often injured by their government rescuers. It is a must-read for those seeking solutions to this national crisis.” —Robert L. Woodson, Sr., civil rights leader and president of the Woodson Center“Everyone interested in child welfare should grapple with Naomi Riley’s powerful evidence that the current system ill-serves the safety and well-being of vulnerable kids.” —Walter Olson, senior fellow, Cato Institute, Robert A. Levy Center for Constitutional Studies
304 pages, Hardcover
Published October 12, 2021
19 people are currently reading
1856 people want to read
About the author
Naomi Schaefer Riley
14 books42 followersNaomi Schaefer Riley is a resident fellow at the American Enterprise Institute focusing on issues regarding child welfare as well as a senior fellow at the Independent Women’s Forum. She also writes about parenting, higher education, religion, philanthropy and culture.
She is a former columnist for the New York Post and a former Wall Street Journal editor and writer, as well as the author of seven books, including, “No Way to Treat a Child: How the Foster Care System, Family Courts, and Racial Activists Are Wrecking Young Lives,” out this fall.
Her book, Til Faith Do Us Part: How Interfaith Marriage is Transforming America (Oxford, 2013), was named an editor’s pick by the New York Times Book Review.
Ms. Riley’s writings have appeared in the Wall Street Journal, the New York Times, the Boston Globe, the LA Times, and the Washington Post, among other publications. She appears regularly on FoxNews and FoxBusiness and CNBC. She has also appeared on Q&A with Brian Lamb as well as the Today Show.
She graduated magna cum laude from Harvard University in English and Government. She lives in the suburbs of New York with her husband, Jason, and their three children.
She is a former columnist for the New York Post and a former Wall Street Journal editor and writer, as well as the author of seven books, including, “No Way to Treat a Child: How the Foster Care System, Family Courts, and Racial Activists Are Wrecking Young Lives,” out this fall.
Her book, Til Faith Do Us Part: How Interfaith Marriage is Transforming America (Oxford, 2013), was named an editor’s pick by the New York Times Book Review.
Ms. Riley’s writings have appeared in the Wall Street Journal, the New York Times, the Boston Globe, the LA Times, and the Washington Post, among other publications. She appears regularly on FoxNews and FoxBusiness and CNBC. She has also appeared on Q&A with Brian Lamb as well as the Today Show.
She graduated magna cum laude from Harvard University in English and Government. She lives in the suburbs of New York with her husband, Jason, and their three children.
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lost-interest
August 24, 2022It is time to stop letting efforts to fix the child welfare system get derailed by activists who are concerned with race-matching, blood ties, and the abstract demands of social justice
Fuck this noise. Throwing activists under the bus and claiming indigenous people fighting for the rights of their tribe are 'actually just SJWS hurting kids!!!' FUCK THIS. The world does not need a faux-academic take on how the SJWs are just selfish and hysterical and how hey maybe it should be seen as progressive to let the colonizer take kids from their tribe and culture!
The amount of disgust I have is immeasurable. All I can say is this:
INDIGENOUS PEOPLE HAVE A RIGHT TO RAISE THEIR OWN KIDS
INDIGENOUS PEOPLE HAVE A RIGHT TO RAISE THEIR OWN KIDS
INDIGENOUS PEOPLE HAVE A RIGHT TO RAISE THEIR OWN KIDS
If you have to remove a First Nations child from their home, asking for them to at the very least remain within their tribe or have regular access to it and contact with it is not an absurd request to make.
No, it is not in any fucking way an 'abstract demand' to proclaim that first nations kids should be kept within their tribe and their rights as first nations people be protected ON TOP of their right to a safe environment. To pretend the goal of giving a child a safe environment and the goal of giving a child an environment within their tribe are somehow mutually exclusive or are inherently at odds with each other is borderline racist, and no, that's not just me being a hysterical SJW.
At the end of the day indigenous and first nations people fighting to keep their kids within their tribe and not let entire generations be STOLEN FROM THEM are fighting white supremacy, centuries of colonization, and entire generations being stolen, institutionalized, etc. The hot take of "Well maybe those kids would have been done better by the system if their pesky 'tribes' and 'races' and 'social justice warriors' hadn't interfered!" ignores actual history and race politics, the suffering and abuse these people have endured, the context it exists in, and the existence of residential schools, the history of being forced onto reservations, etc.
These people and communities have every right to not trust white people and not entrust the care of the most vulnerable members of their community to the system. A system run by governments in the US and Canada that to this day break the law, break rules, ignore sovereignty rights and treaties made with the tribes, etc. No pact or treaty has not been breached, ignored, or violated in some way by the US and Canadian governments. And now First Nations activists are going to be painted as just getting in the way because they hesitate to trust these same agencies and governing bodies?
To imply that advocates fighting to stop the efforts of white supremacy and keep indigenous kids in their tribes are somehow hurting them is not only disgusting but borderline racist and no, there's no justification for it. If you really cared about kids in the system you wouldn't be downplaying the racism and alienation non-white kids face and trying to make enemies and monsters out of those actually advocating for their rights.
Let me say it again:
INDIGENOUS PEOPLE HAVE A RIGHT TO RAISE THEIR OWN KIDS
No, first nations people insisting that kids who must be removed from unsafe situations or the custody of their family should till be placed within their own tribe or nation is not abuse towards those kids, it is looking out for them. Of course out of touch white academics would want to pretend it's the social activists and hysterical sjws who are hurting kids instead of just....helping us protect them.
Honestly to be first nations or indigenous in this world is to constantly have people like this dress up their prejudice as academia and logic, when it's the furthest thing from. At the end of the day they will look at the effects of racism, colonization, and past genocide efforts wreaking havoc on the lives and environments and land of indigenous people, see all the effects of what has been done to them, and blame it on them. "Oh this community is no place for a child, why can't you 'racial activists' just let the white folk take your kids and put them in foster care! Things would be so much better if you didn't make us race-match!!" Better for who, the white folk who treat indigenous kids and other non-white kids as trophies? The white folk whose generations stole generations? The same systems that tried to 'kill the Indian in the child?' should be entrusted with our children again so we can have more lost generations?
Fuck. This.
Taking indigenous children out of indigenous communities and handing them out to white people like party favors is absolutely not in their best interest, can even be a literal death sentence for them, and has a long and storied history. It's the history of the genocide North America was built on. Look it the fuck up sometime.
Seriously this book is faux-academia for white folk who think 'reverse racism' is a thing, and that white people not being able to tell racist jokes is some kind of Orwellian censorship. At the end of the day I'm gobsmacked this bullshit is being published under such a clearly bait-y dog whistle of a title. Designed to push buttons, not provoke thought. Well mission accomplished I guess.
And you know what? I'll give it the benefit of the doubt; maybe the actual book isn't that bad and the publisher is the one who came up with this tone-deaf blurb and marketing direction. But I have a hard time believing that's the case and that this isn't indicative of the overall tone and content of this book, and I highly suspect that if it wasn't, the author could speak up about her book being blatantly misrepresented as a racist argument about how 'Did you think maybe indigenous kids would be BETTER OFF WITH WHITE PEOPLE?' Like, no, I did not, sis, and I'm not going to now either.
Absolutely disgusting. First Nations people are still waging a war against a genocide that continues to this day, in much more subtle ways, and yes, the foster care system attempting to remove entire generations of First Nations kids from their families, tribes, cultures, and traditions and languages, is a continued act of that genocide, it is a historical and cultural extension of it with direct links as clear as day. You can look out for the welfare of First Nations children without launching an attack on First Nations communities and Indigenous people in general.
For reading and resources on the plight of Indigenous people and their battle with a corrupt and highly abusive foster care system check out these links:
Forst Care is Modern Day Residential School
Foster Care REPLACED Residential Schools
The First Nations are Fighting Foster Care
Canada Looking To Reform Foster Care
And last but not least, here's one with a very relevant quote:
Despite repeated calls to develop alternatives to removal, the number of First Nations children on reserve placed in out of home care increased by 71.5 percent between 1995 and 2001
So if 'racial activists' and their tribalism is somehow getting in the way of these kids being placed, why are more and more First Nations kids being taken and placed in out of home care? Surely if tribalism was so popular and these activists actually had this power, they'd be getting their way and you wouldn't still be getting away with removing increased numbers of kids from First Nations communities? Yet it's happening.
It feels like this woman wrote this book as a DIRECT RESPONSE to First Nations people finally gaining some god damn ground in this arena, and the fact that it's gonna be pushed and advertised now of all times, just as mass graves are being found at Residential Schools? THAT is the childcare system this woman thinks activists are worse than and should just trust it or get out of its way. Can you imagine?
No, at the end of the day, Indigenous and First Nations activists fighting to protect these very kids are NOT doing more harm than good, they deserve respect, admiration, and resources, not for you to call them hysterical SJWs and push casual racism while suggesting that, "Maybe you racial activist sjws are getting in the way and should just let us government folk handle this!" while expecting the same people you're speaking down to to put their trust in institutions proven time and time again to not only look the other way, but outright cover up or even encourage abuse, sexual abuse, and neglect.
Telling First Nations and Indigenous folks they can't raise their kids or their communities aren't fit for childcare, while you present the solution as....the foster care system? Full of neglect, con-artists, child abusers, and worse?
It's time for a reality check and it's time casual white supremacy stop dressing itself up as intellectualism and academia. This is concern-trolling at its finest. Brought to you by folks who think Indigenous people should just shut up and trust the system...because apparently we're ignoring all history and evidence now.
I'm disgusted. At the end of the day my dad and I will never even know what tribe we likely originate from because racism is so deeply ingrained because of SHIT LIKE THIS to the point that First Nations people have in the past just given up, stopped fighting, assimilated into white society, and not passed any language or tradition or history on to their kids because they wanted us to have a fighting chance in this disgusting world where being who we are is the wrong way to fit in. I'll never know part of my history or culture because First Nations people are taught to hate themselves, taught their communities aren't worth staying in or fighting for - to the benefit of people like this. But those opinions AND the conditions they use to justify them are literally manufactured by racist condescending attitudes like this, and the First Nations people who DO stay and DO keep fighting for their communities and people, get this kind of character assassination and slander as a reward. The whole 'Just give up and assimilate to the way we're doing things!' narrative will never not be an extension of racism directed at First Nations.
Just give up and assimilate to the reservations we forced you on to, just give up and assimilate to being second class citizens, just give up and assimilate by pretending you were never native, having kids with white people, going out of your way to be white passing and distance yourself from your tribe. And if you don't, and choose to stay with said tribe? Well, just give up and assimilate to us taking your kids, your siblings, your nieces and nephews. Just give and assimilate to manufactured poverty and environmental damage we will call you hysterical, criminal, abusive, for speaking out about, etc.
Just give up and assimilate.
That is the line of thinking powering this book and the very concept behind it. Just give up and assimilate, because fighting for your rights and the rights of your kids actually hurts them, and maybe if you let us take them and further destroy the future and legacy of your people and culture, just maybe, things will be easier. Maybe then we'll let up and take that boot off your neck a bit. Sounds nice, doesn't it? But things are never easier, the racism keeps coming, and there is always some other part of us they will move on to trying to destroy next, telling us it will be easier if we just capitulate, just assimilate...
It's not easy for me to see part of my family past and heritage as having a giant black hole on it I can never peer behind, because my grandfather bought into his self-hated and believed the assimilation myth would save him from it. That can't be undone.
If these people aren't descended from the Snake who misled and tempted Eve to bring about her downfall, I'd be downright shocked, because they bear his voice and they know his arguments. (I recognize the irony of bringing up Christian mythology while speaking on how much white folk have fucked over Indigenous people, but if the snake fits, you know.)
I wish I knew what tribe my grandpa was related to, I wish I knew my FULL family history, I wish First Nations people weren't constantly shamed and blamed for the state of their communities only after they've been ravaged and pillaged and disenfranchised by the very white folk and institutions which are shaming them. I wish they could advocate for their cultures and identities which are always under attack without being called social justice warriors or getting hit by some bullshit false equivalency 'both sides' rhetoric.
I WISH TO GOD that some day kidnapping First Nations children and handing them off to white folk to "kill the Indian in the child" isn't rebranded and repackaged as "actually what's best for the kids." Because that's what's happening here.
For shame.
Dear First Nations people fighting the good fight to give native kids a right to their own communities, cultures, history, and languages and refusing to let them be stolen away: I see you and salute you. You're not 'getting in the way' of anything except the expansion of white supremacy and its motives. I hope you keep being the best kind of problem a person can be. Keep getting in the way of these damn villains. That's what heroes do.
The social welfare and foster care systems need reform. That much is true. They have problems. Those problems cannot be solved by blaming them on First Nations people, black people, or social activists. They can only be solved by LISTENING to those people and actually enacting reform to stop letting these systems become industries that benefit from the suffering of the youth. Stop turning a blind eye to the abuse and rape and violence and manufactured poverty in foster homes and the system at large and you wouldn't have to invent a bogeyman out of the very people trying to protect kids from those fates. The foster system arbitrarily takes kids out of kind of shitty homes and places them into literal nightmare houses with foster parents who treat them even worse or steal from the state while starving, beating, sexually abusing their foster kids, it's not some magical system which can never fail.
I'm all for being critical of the current state of the system, reforming the way foster care and family courts work, but throwing 'racial activists' and 'social justice activists' under the bus with them, while using weirdly racist language and lines of thinking to do it is so beyond the pale.
*I have this review backed up in full in case of removal and will repost it here as many times as I need to. I'd like to think Goodreads won't censor this but if they do I'm going to keep reposting it.*
Fuck this noise. Throwing activists under the bus and claiming indigenous people fighting for the rights of their tribe are 'actually just SJWS hurting kids!!!' FUCK THIS. The world does not need a faux-academic take on how the SJWs are just selfish and hysterical and how hey maybe it should be seen as progressive to let the colonizer take kids from their tribe and culture!
The amount of disgust I have is immeasurable. All I can say is this:
INDIGENOUS PEOPLE HAVE A RIGHT TO RAISE THEIR OWN KIDS
INDIGENOUS PEOPLE HAVE A RIGHT TO RAISE THEIR OWN KIDS
INDIGENOUS PEOPLE HAVE A RIGHT TO RAISE THEIR OWN KIDS
If you have to remove a First Nations child from their home, asking for them to at the very least remain within their tribe or have regular access to it and contact with it is not an absurd request to make.
No, it is not in any fucking way an 'abstract demand' to proclaim that first nations kids should be kept within their tribe and their rights as first nations people be protected ON TOP of their right to a safe environment. To pretend the goal of giving a child a safe environment and the goal of giving a child an environment within their tribe are somehow mutually exclusive or are inherently at odds with each other is borderline racist, and no, that's not just me being a hysterical SJW.
At the end of the day indigenous and first nations people fighting to keep their kids within their tribe and not let entire generations be STOLEN FROM THEM are fighting white supremacy, centuries of colonization, and entire generations being stolen, institutionalized, etc. The hot take of "Well maybe those kids would have been done better by the system if their pesky 'tribes' and 'races' and 'social justice warriors' hadn't interfered!" ignores actual history and race politics, the suffering and abuse these people have endured, the context it exists in, and the existence of residential schools, the history of being forced onto reservations, etc.
These people and communities have every right to not trust white people and not entrust the care of the most vulnerable members of their community to the system. A system run by governments in the US and Canada that to this day break the law, break rules, ignore sovereignty rights and treaties made with the tribes, etc. No pact or treaty has not been breached, ignored, or violated in some way by the US and Canadian governments. And now First Nations activists are going to be painted as just getting in the way because they hesitate to trust these same agencies and governing bodies?
To imply that advocates fighting to stop the efforts of white supremacy and keep indigenous kids in their tribes are somehow hurting them is not only disgusting but borderline racist and no, there's no justification for it. If you really cared about kids in the system you wouldn't be downplaying the racism and alienation non-white kids face and trying to make enemies and monsters out of those actually advocating for their rights.
Let me say it again:
INDIGENOUS PEOPLE HAVE A RIGHT TO RAISE THEIR OWN KIDS
No, first nations people insisting that kids who must be removed from unsafe situations or the custody of their family should till be placed within their own tribe or nation is not abuse towards those kids, it is looking out for them. Of course out of touch white academics would want to pretend it's the social activists and hysterical sjws who are hurting kids instead of just....helping us protect them.
Honestly to be first nations or indigenous in this world is to constantly have people like this dress up their prejudice as academia and logic, when it's the furthest thing from. At the end of the day they will look at the effects of racism, colonization, and past genocide efforts wreaking havoc on the lives and environments and land of indigenous people, see all the effects of what has been done to them, and blame it on them. "Oh this community is no place for a child, why can't you 'racial activists' just let the white folk take your kids and put them in foster care! Things would be so much better if you didn't make us race-match!!" Better for who, the white folk who treat indigenous kids and other non-white kids as trophies? The white folk whose generations stole generations? The same systems that tried to 'kill the Indian in the child?' should be entrusted with our children again so we can have more lost generations?
Fuck. This.
Taking indigenous children out of indigenous communities and handing them out to white people like party favors is absolutely not in their best interest, can even be a literal death sentence for them, and has a long and storied history. It's the history of the genocide North America was built on. Look it the fuck up sometime.
Seriously this book is faux-academia for white folk who think 'reverse racism' is a thing, and that white people not being able to tell racist jokes is some kind of Orwellian censorship. At the end of the day I'm gobsmacked this bullshit is being published under such a clearly bait-y dog whistle of a title. Designed to push buttons, not provoke thought. Well mission accomplished I guess.
And you know what? I'll give it the benefit of the doubt; maybe the actual book isn't that bad and the publisher is the one who came up with this tone-deaf blurb and marketing direction. But I have a hard time believing that's the case and that this isn't indicative of the overall tone and content of this book, and I highly suspect that if it wasn't, the author could speak up about her book being blatantly misrepresented as a racist argument about how 'Did you think maybe indigenous kids would be BETTER OFF WITH WHITE PEOPLE?' Like, no, I did not, sis, and I'm not going to now either.
Absolutely disgusting. First Nations people are still waging a war against a genocide that continues to this day, in much more subtle ways, and yes, the foster care system attempting to remove entire generations of First Nations kids from their families, tribes, cultures, and traditions and languages, is a continued act of that genocide, it is a historical and cultural extension of it with direct links as clear as day. You can look out for the welfare of First Nations children without launching an attack on First Nations communities and Indigenous people in general.
For reading and resources on the plight of Indigenous people and their battle with a corrupt and highly abusive foster care system check out these links:
Forst Care is Modern Day Residential School
Foster Care REPLACED Residential Schools
The First Nations are Fighting Foster Care
Canada Looking To Reform Foster Care
And last but not least, here's one with a very relevant quote:
Despite repeated calls to develop alternatives to removal, the number of First Nations children on reserve placed in out of home care increased by 71.5 percent between 1995 and 2001
So if 'racial activists' and their tribalism is somehow getting in the way of these kids being placed, why are more and more First Nations kids being taken and placed in out of home care? Surely if tribalism was so popular and these activists actually had this power, they'd be getting their way and you wouldn't still be getting away with removing increased numbers of kids from First Nations communities? Yet it's happening.
It feels like this woman wrote this book as a DIRECT RESPONSE to First Nations people finally gaining some god damn ground in this arena, and the fact that it's gonna be pushed and advertised now of all times, just as mass graves are being found at Residential Schools? THAT is the childcare system this woman thinks activists are worse than and should just trust it or get out of its way. Can you imagine?
No, at the end of the day, Indigenous and First Nations activists fighting to protect these very kids are NOT doing more harm than good, they deserve respect, admiration, and resources, not for you to call them hysterical SJWs and push casual racism while suggesting that, "Maybe you racial activist sjws are getting in the way and should just let us government folk handle this!" while expecting the same people you're speaking down to to put their trust in institutions proven time and time again to not only look the other way, but outright cover up or even encourage abuse, sexual abuse, and neglect.
Telling First Nations and Indigenous folks they can't raise their kids or their communities aren't fit for childcare, while you present the solution as....the foster care system? Full of neglect, con-artists, child abusers, and worse?
It's time for a reality check and it's time casual white supremacy stop dressing itself up as intellectualism and academia. This is concern-trolling at its finest. Brought to you by folks who think Indigenous people should just shut up and trust the system...because apparently we're ignoring all history and evidence now.
I'm disgusted. At the end of the day my dad and I will never even know what tribe we likely originate from because racism is so deeply ingrained because of SHIT LIKE THIS to the point that First Nations people have in the past just given up, stopped fighting, assimilated into white society, and not passed any language or tradition or history on to their kids because they wanted us to have a fighting chance in this disgusting world where being who we are is the wrong way to fit in. I'll never know part of my history or culture because First Nations people are taught to hate themselves, taught their communities aren't worth staying in or fighting for - to the benefit of people like this. But those opinions AND the conditions they use to justify them are literally manufactured by racist condescending attitudes like this, and the First Nations people who DO stay and DO keep fighting for their communities and people, get this kind of character assassination and slander as a reward. The whole 'Just give up and assimilate to the way we're doing things!' narrative will never not be an extension of racism directed at First Nations.
Just give up and assimilate to the reservations we forced you on to, just give up and assimilate to being second class citizens, just give up and assimilate by pretending you were never native, having kids with white people, going out of your way to be white passing and distance yourself from your tribe. And if you don't, and choose to stay with said tribe? Well, just give up and assimilate to us taking your kids, your siblings, your nieces and nephews. Just give and assimilate to manufactured poverty and environmental damage we will call you hysterical, criminal, abusive, for speaking out about, etc.
Just give up and assimilate.
That is the line of thinking powering this book and the very concept behind it. Just give up and assimilate, because fighting for your rights and the rights of your kids actually hurts them, and maybe if you let us take them and further destroy the future and legacy of your people and culture, just maybe, things will be easier. Maybe then we'll let up and take that boot off your neck a bit. Sounds nice, doesn't it? But things are never easier, the racism keeps coming, and there is always some other part of us they will move on to trying to destroy next, telling us it will be easier if we just capitulate, just assimilate...
It's not easy for me to see part of my family past and heritage as having a giant black hole on it I can never peer behind, because my grandfather bought into his self-hated and believed the assimilation myth would save him from it. That can't be undone.
If these people aren't descended from the Snake who misled and tempted Eve to bring about her downfall, I'd be downright shocked, because they bear his voice and they know his arguments. (I recognize the irony of bringing up Christian mythology while speaking on how much white folk have fucked over Indigenous people, but if the snake fits, you know.)
I wish I knew what tribe my grandpa was related to, I wish I knew my FULL family history, I wish First Nations people weren't constantly shamed and blamed for the state of their communities only after they've been ravaged and pillaged and disenfranchised by the very white folk and institutions which are shaming them. I wish they could advocate for their cultures and identities which are always under attack without being called social justice warriors or getting hit by some bullshit false equivalency 'both sides' rhetoric.
I WISH TO GOD that some day kidnapping First Nations children and handing them off to white folk to "kill the Indian in the child" isn't rebranded and repackaged as "actually what's best for the kids." Because that's what's happening here.
For shame.
Dear First Nations people fighting the good fight to give native kids a right to their own communities, cultures, history, and languages and refusing to let them be stolen away: I see you and salute you. You're not 'getting in the way' of anything except the expansion of white supremacy and its motives. I hope you keep being the best kind of problem a person can be. Keep getting in the way of these damn villains. That's what heroes do.
The social welfare and foster care systems need reform. That much is true. They have problems. Those problems cannot be solved by blaming them on First Nations people, black people, or social activists. They can only be solved by LISTENING to those people and actually enacting reform to stop letting these systems become industries that benefit from the suffering of the youth. Stop turning a blind eye to the abuse and rape and violence and manufactured poverty in foster homes and the system at large and you wouldn't have to invent a bogeyman out of the very people trying to protect kids from those fates. The foster system arbitrarily takes kids out of kind of shitty homes and places them into literal nightmare houses with foster parents who treat them even worse or steal from the state while starving, beating, sexually abusing their foster kids, it's not some magical system which can never fail.
I'm all for being critical of the current state of the system, reforming the way foster care and family courts work, but throwing 'racial activists' and 'social justice activists' under the bus with them, while using weirdly racist language and lines of thinking to do it is so beyond the pale.
*I have this review backed up in full in case of removal and will repost it here as many times as I need to. I'd like to think Goodreads won't censor this but if they do I'm going to keep reposting it.*
November 20, 2021
When Karen Finds Out Other People Aren't Raising Kids to Her Standards...
Guess what the conservative author recommends for improving child welfare systems?
More money, more Congressional oversight and more white people being lauded for repairing the problems of black brown and Indigenous families
WTAF?
I thought government was the problem but now according to this author...we need more government.
Which is it?
When we ask for more and better trained social workers who have diverse experiences and for that funding to come from the police industrial state...we aren't defunding the police...we are trying to help kids.
And here is the issue...this book raises some good points about the foster care system...the author just lays the blame on the wrong people. She is bringing white resentment and the absurd notion of reverse racism so she can burnish her conservative credentials.
This is not a serious academic book.
It is a polemic that tries to build a screen to block out the reality of how badly our society fails children.
And there is really no debate about who is earnestly if imperfectly trying to fix the problem and who is in the cheap seats yelling down that we are doing it wrong.
This author pretends she is in the arena with us, she isn't. She and her conservative comrades are trying to bring the arena down on the heads of the people doing the work.
Moves hurt kids. And the foster care system tries, and fails and tries again to balance the trauma of keeping families that hurt their kids together with the trauma of removal. Being abused and neglected hurts kids, being moved hurts kids, and this book does nothing to contribute to fewer hurting kids.
Guess what the conservative author recommends for improving child welfare systems?
More money, more Congressional oversight and more white people being lauded for repairing the problems of black brown and Indigenous families
WTAF?
I thought government was the problem but now according to this author...we need more government.
Which is it?
When we ask for more and better trained social workers who have diverse experiences and for that funding to come from the police industrial state...we aren't defunding the police...we are trying to help kids.
And here is the issue...this book raises some good points about the foster care system...the author just lays the blame on the wrong people. She is bringing white resentment and the absurd notion of reverse racism so she can burnish her conservative credentials.
This is not a serious academic book.
It is a polemic that tries to build a screen to block out the reality of how badly our society fails children.
And there is really no debate about who is earnestly if imperfectly trying to fix the problem and who is in the cheap seats yelling down that we are doing it wrong.
This author pretends she is in the arena with us, she isn't. She and her conservative comrades are trying to bring the arena down on the heads of the people doing the work.
Moves hurt kids. And the foster care system tries, and fails and tries again to balance the trauma of keeping families that hurt their kids together with the trauma of removal. Being abused and neglected hurts kids, being moved hurts kids, and this book does nothing to contribute to fewer hurting kids.
May 17, 2022
If you want to take a hard look at an incredibly broken system, No Way to Treat a Child is the perfect read. In it, Riley dives into the problems plaguing the the American Child Welfare machine.
She illustrates how the system is set up for the benefit of the adults, leaving children to languish in impermanence and instability while addicts and abusers get years of chances to put their lives back on track. She points out that the race-centered policies that drive agencies across the country refuse to acknowledge that, "child abuse occurs in different communities at different rates and our goal should be to reduce it everywhere, not to make the numbers come out even." Playing the numbers game leads to the horrific reality that children of minority groups are left to suffer in abusive homes in the name of anti-racism and policies that treat them as a natural resource "who should be kept home--not because it is better for them but because it is better for their [community]". An increased push for kinship care ticks many boxes (kids are kept with adults of their race, family members are held to a significantly lower standard which is less work for caseworkers, cases can be closed sooner) but the lack of oversight of those family members sometimes means taking a child from one abusive home and putting them in another, because the powers that be have decided that being with family is more important than grandpa's domestic violence record.
A great deal of power is put into the hands of social workers--workers whose very educational qualifications are highly suspect. Their GRE scores rank second to last among the scores of ALL graduate disciplines (and that's the most educated--the ones pursuing a MSW--in some states, a college degree isn't required at all). Undergraduates in social work programs are also at the very bottom of the pile, "performing worse on the Collegiate Learning Assessment than undergraduates in almost every field of study". And these social workers (whatever their level of education) are overworked and burnt out and--in many states--cannot legally be held responsible for their actions, even when children end up dead.
We were foster parents for less than two years, so my personal experience with The System is very limited, but even so, I can personally attest to many of the specific issues that Riley writes about. And I'll be honest, I don't have any optimism that things are going to change for the better. Children's lives continue to be less important than political agendas, and foster parents are either fleeing or being driven out because of bad policies, leaving a worsening crisis behind.
It's not a happy or hopeful book. But it's one that needs to be read.
She illustrates how the system is set up for the benefit of the adults, leaving children to languish in impermanence and instability while addicts and abusers get years of chances to put their lives back on track. She points out that the race-centered policies that drive agencies across the country refuse to acknowledge that, "child abuse occurs in different communities at different rates and our goal should be to reduce it everywhere, not to make the numbers come out even." Playing the numbers game leads to the horrific reality that children of minority groups are left to suffer in abusive homes in the name of anti-racism and policies that treat them as a natural resource "who should be kept home--not because it is better for them but because it is better for their [community]". An increased push for kinship care ticks many boxes (kids are kept with adults of their race, family members are held to a significantly lower standard which is less work for caseworkers, cases can be closed sooner) but the lack of oversight of those family members sometimes means taking a child from one abusive home and putting them in another, because the powers that be have decided that being with family is more important than grandpa's domestic violence record.
A great deal of power is put into the hands of social workers--workers whose very educational qualifications are highly suspect. Their GRE scores rank second to last among the scores of ALL graduate disciplines (and that's the most educated--the ones pursuing a MSW--in some states, a college degree isn't required at all). Undergraduates in social work programs are also at the very bottom of the pile, "performing worse on the Collegiate Learning Assessment than undergraduates in almost every field of study". And these social workers (whatever their level of education) are overworked and burnt out and--in many states--cannot legally be held responsible for their actions, even when children end up dead.
We were foster parents for less than two years, so my personal experience with The System is very limited, but even so, I can personally attest to many of the specific issues that Riley writes about. And I'll be honest, I don't have any optimism that things are going to change for the better. Children's lives continue to be less important than political agendas, and foster parents are either fleeing or being driven out because of bad policies, leaving a worsening crisis behind.
It's not a happy or hopeful book. But it's one that needs to be read.
December 21, 2021
I really wanted to learn from this author. I'm very interested in the subject matter. However, the author's disdain for struggling parents, CPS workers, and "racial activists" is off-putting, sometimes hostile. For example, she refers to "single mothers with a rotating cast of boyfriends" as a typical feature in cases like these and cites as fact a 1997 study by the Heritage Foundation that claims the breakdown of families is “spreading like a cancer” from poor families to working-class families.
One chapter is titled “The war against faith based foster care.” In it, she makes the claim that faith-based organizations train willing parents in trauma-informed care out of a calling from their religious beliefs, but are unappreciated and demonized. "They are being tarred as discriminatory and driven out of this work by people who are more interested in ensuring everyone supports the latest gender identity theories than the notion that children should have a good home," she says, as if no foster children would be affected by the beliefs of the foster parents they are placed with. She frames mainstream beliefs as “ideological trends” and pits faith-based foster care against governmental agencies, a conflict I have not witnessed and have a hard time believing is as stark as she claims. I think most faith-based organizations seeking to support and train foster parents view their only enemy as sin and brokenness, which they are actively praying to have a hand in transforming.
She promotes using "big data" to track children most likely to be in danger and dismisses concerns that programs like this could replicate racism, even scoffs at the idea that racism exists in institutions at all, including child welfare agencies and predictive analytics used by them. I find this hard to believe, especially since one pilot program exclusively looked at children receiving public benefits. Towards the end of the book she claims that the “best case scenario” for foster care “is that it will end up being like No Child Left Behind," which she admits had no net positive impact on student learning but gave accurate data to the federal government. Other effects come to mind - reductive curriculum, punitive payment structures, the exodus of good teachers from the profession.
One especially alarming viewpoint is the paired beliefs that a) child protective services workers should be more like police and b) that social worker programs with classes that look into the effect of poverty and racism, issues of diversity, and dynamics of oppression promote "sloppy thinking." Combined together, this seems to promote misunderstanding between social workers and who they are helping and categorizing families in crisis as criminals from the outset.
Her opinions seep into information constantly, like in this on page 146: "Frontline workers in CPS have had their minds filled with useless theories about racial disparities and how poverty and racism prevent people from making good choices..."
This seems to the main argument of the author - that parents could be good parents if they chose to be. Poverty and addiction are within their power to change. Personal responsibility, not governmental solutions, is the answer. It's a very reductive view and one that doesn't view people with dignity.
She hits some important issues, like the rapid turnover in the child welfare system and how that slows and impacts cases. The lack of engagement in decision making around a child's future being the leading cause of dissatisfaction among foster parents treated as babysitters instead of stakeholders. The need for family court judges to be better versed in child development so they will understand the impact of lengthy postponements, bonding, and attachment. The need for foster parents to have all relevant information about the case as it progresses and the situation the kids came from. On these we can agree – children in care should be allowed the right to form bonds and foster parents should be allowed input on cases.
But in everything else, this book seemed designed to undermine the humanity of people caught up in a very difficult system.
One chapter is titled “The war against faith based foster care.” In it, she makes the claim that faith-based organizations train willing parents in trauma-informed care out of a calling from their religious beliefs, but are unappreciated and demonized. "They are being tarred as discriminatory and driven out of this work by people who are more interested in ensuring everyone supports the latest gender identity theories than the notion that children should have a good home," she says, as if no foster children would be affected by the beliefs of the foster parents they are placed with. She frames mainstream beliefs as “ideological trends” and pits faith-based foster care against governmental agencies, a conflict I have not witnessed and have a hard time believing is as stark as she claims. I think most faith-based organizations seeking to support and train foster parents view their only enemy as sin and brokenness, which they are actively praying to have a hand in transforming.
She promotes using "big data" to track children most likely to be in danger and dismisses concerns that programs like this could replicate racism, even scoffs at the idea that racism exists in institutions at all, including child welfare agencies and predictive analytics used by them. I find this hard to believe, especially since one pilot program exclusively looked at children receiving public benefits. Towards the end of the book she claims that the “best case scenario” for foster care “is that it will end up being like No Child Left Behind," which she admits had no net positive impact on student learning but gave accurate data to the federal government. Other effects come to mind - reductive curriculum, punitive payment structures, the exodus of good teachers from the profession.
One especially alarming viewpoint is the paired beliefs that a) child protective services workers should be more like police and b) that social worker programs with classes that look into the effect of poverty and racism, issues of diversity, and dynamics of oppression promote "sloppy thinking." Combined together, this seems to promote misunderstanding between social workers and who they are helping and categorizing families in crisis as criminals from the outset.
Her opinions seep into information constantly, like in this on page 146: "Frontline workers in CPS have had their minds filled with useless theories about racial disparities and how poverty and racism prevent people from making good choices..."
This seems to the main argument of the author - that parents could be good parents if they chose to be. Poverty and addiction are within their power to change. Personal responsibility, not governmental solutions, is the answer. It's a very reductive view and one that doesn't view people with dignity.
She hits some important issues, like the rapid turnover in the child welfare system and how that slows and impacts cases. The lack of engagement in decision making around a child's future being the leading cause of dissatisfaction among foster parents treated as babysitters instead of stakeholders. The need for family court judges to be better versed in child development so they will understand the impact of lengthy postponements, bonding, and attachment. The need for foster parents to have all relevant information about the case as it progresses and the situation the kids came from. On these we can agree – children in care should be allowed the right to form bonds and foster parents should be allowed input on cases.
But in everything else, this book seemed designed to undermine the humanity of people caught up in a very difficult system.
October 12, 2022
Fantastic book. Discussed all the typical concerns people have with the child welfare system, while also covering lesser-known issues that most definitely contribute to the pitfalls that seem to be universal in all 50 states. As a foster parent I have witnessed (either first hand, or through the accounts of other fellow foster parents) many of the problems discussed in this book. I even know of a foster parent in our last county whose former foster son was murdered after being reunited with his parents, even though the foster parents desired to adopt him. These heartbreaking accounts are real and closer to home than many of us realize.
Overall, I felt like this book offered a fresh look at the state of our child welfare system today, although sadly many will immediately dismiss it because it comes from a conservative viewpoint. With that being said, if you can keep an open mind, no matter your political leanings, you’ll see that children almost always are on the losing end in child welfare, and adults are almost always are put first. With a system that is without question failing by all accounts, it’s important to value and consider all theories and concepts that are suggested to better this system.
Overall, I felt like this book offered a fresh look at the state of our child welfare system today, although sadly many will immediately dismiss it because it comes from a conservative viewpoint. With that being said, if you can keep an open mind, no matter your political leanings, you’ll see that children almost always are on the losing end in child welfare, and adults are almost always are put first. With a system that is without question failing by all accounts, it’s important to value and consider all theories and concepts that are suggested to better this system.
October 22, 2021
a must read
If you’re interested in foster care, or just the welfare of children, this is an eye opening read about the truth behind the stereotypes of our foster care system, the serious issues and problems also with it, and some solutions to the problems posed. It will take courage of ordinary people to step up and get involved in advocating for change. I have some cousins who were adopted through foster care, and while it took forever, they had a relatively better experience than many that are shared in this book.
I thought it was very well balanced and focused on facts and well-reasoned arguments while still making an emotional impact.
Warning: you may find yourself angry while reading this book at the unnecessary harms being perpetrated bc of the just absolute incompetence of so many people. We need to stop putting adults first and start putting children first.
If you’re interested in foster care, or just the welfare of children, this is an eye opening read about the truth behind the stereotypes of our foster care system, the serious issues and problems also with it, and some solutions to the problems posed. It will take courage of ordinary people to step up and get involved in advocating for change. I have some cousins who were adopted through foster care, and while it took forever, they had a relatively better experience than many that are shared in this book.
I thought it was very well balanced and focused on facts and well-reasoned arguments while still making an emotional impact.
Warning: you may find yourself angry while reading this book at the unnecessary harms being perpetrated bc of the just absolute incompetence of so many people. We need to stop putting adults first and start putting children first.
January 11, 2022
If you want to read a book where the author believes that only wealthy white people should raise children, then this is the book for you!
Author throws out numbers and then compares apples to oranges in hopes that you won’t actually write the numbers down and do the math yourself. She uses numbers to benefit her narrative rather than showing all the numbers and facts. The author takes it upon herself to believe that every substantiation of abuse is above reproach and that all reports are true abuse/neglect reports, which is not the case. The author only mentions the true reason for the corruption within the child welfare system and that is the unchecked power among the individuals who play in this arena as well as the fact that family court has no due process. Never once does the author mention that family court is the only court in which you are guilty until you can prove your innocence.
Author makes mention that child welfare involvement should be the last resort for the family and so therefore taking children should be merited; inferring that government involvement with families should be consistent among all families in order to proactive to prevent abuse or offer services.
This book continues to ignore the true issues and corruption within the child welfare system. The author argues that children should have the right to familial bonds, even if that means they are bonding with non family; yet never looks into the science of how this actually affects children. Not once does she go into the science of how removals affect children, but continues to insist the child welfare system is putting parents first.
Just briefly does she even mention the true issues within the child welfare system: monetary incentives incentivizing the wrong things, a family court system with no due process, players within this system with uncheck power, incompetent players within this system (social workers, investigators, lawyers, judges), and the fact that family court proceedings are kept private. I will also mention that she brings up the good point that Neglect as a reason for removal should be completely removed as an option since it can mean anything and everything to each individual.
Unfortunately, this book is Trojan horse redirecting your attention to the wrong issues. I’m sure the Left is actually quite happy with this book. The author claims to be a conservative, yet is advocating for even more government overreach.
Author throws out numbers and then compares apples to oranges in hopes that you won’t actually write the numbers down and do the math yourself. She uses numbers to benefit her narrative rather than showing all the numbers and facts. The author takes it upon herself to believe that every substantiation of abuse is above reproach and that all reports are true abuse/neglect reports, which is not the case. The author only mentions the true reason for the corruption within the child welfare system and that is the unchecked power among the individuals who play in this arena as well as the fact that family court has no due process. Never once does the author mention that family court is the only court in which you are guilty until you can prove your innocence.
Author makes mention that child welfare involvement should be the last resort for the family and so therefore taking children should be merited; inferring that government involvement with families should be consistent among all families in order to proactive to prevent abuse or offer services.
This book continues to ignore the true issues and corruption within the child welfare system. The author argues that children should have the right to familial bonds, even if that means they are bonding with non family; yet never looks into the science of how this actually affects children. Not once does she go into the science of how removals affect children, but continues to insist the child welfare system is putting parents first.
Just briefly does she even mention the true issues within the child welfare system: monetary incentives incentivizing the wrong things, a family court system with no due process, players within this system with uncheck power, incompetent players within this system (social workers, investigators, lawyers, judges), and the fact that family court proceedings are kept private. I will also mention that she brings up the good point that Neglect as a reason for removal should be completely removed as an option since it can mean anything and everything to each individual.
Unfortunately, this book is Trojan horse redirecting your attention to the wrong issues. I’m sure the Left is actually quite happy with this book. The author claims to be a conservative, yet is advocating for even more government overreach.
October 9, 2022
I often found myself thinking, “come on, you’re a decent journalist, you know better” and “too bad you don’t think enough of your audience to present a balanced look at the issue.”
She’s conservative in the ways that word should be a pejorative: whining about “social Justice warriors” and their agendas, railing against taking proper care of trans kids, absolutely shitting on single moms—all without the evidence to back up her claims. (She alludes to “the evidence” about the children of single moms, but whoopsie, I guess she ran out of room for citations.)
She believes if we could just let the churches do more, have more, be more—the foster care system will be fixed! And hey, some churches do TBRI, so all churches must be trauma-informed bastions of foster care training? Of course, churches *need* to stand in this gap because—and I shit you not, she asserts this—secular organizations just don’t have the people, funding, or cohesion to get anything done.
There IS something valuable to be taken from reading this, but it’s not worth hearing her go on about how great church people are (she wants to “recreate the safety and sanctuary of Catholic schools, so I guess she hadn’t read a newspaper in 15 years?).
Swing-an-a-miss! Don’t bother polluting your brain with her hate, even if it’s disguised as a fair treatment of the subject.
She’s conservative in the ways that word should be a pejorative: whining about “social Justice warriors” and their agendas, railing against taking proper care of trans kids, absolutely shitting on single moms—all without the evidence to back up her claims. (She alludes to “the evidence” about the children of single moms, but whoopsie, I guess she ran out of room for citations.)
She believes if we could just let the churches do more, have more, be more—the foster care system will be fixed! And hey, some churches do TBRI, so all churches must be trauma-informed bastions of foster care training? Of course, churches *need* to stand in this gap because—and I shit you not, she asserts this—secular organizations just don’t have the people, funding, or cohesion to get anything done.
There IS something valuable to be taken from reading this, but it’s not worth hearing her go on about how great church people are (she wants to “recreate the safety and sanctuary of Catholic schools, so I guess she hadn’t read a newspaper in 15 years?).
Swing-an-a-miss! Don’t bother polluting your brain with her hate, even if it’s disguised as a fair treatment of the subject.
October 23, 2021
"What would it mean for our child-welfare system to be oriented around the best interests of children? It would mean that every child would get the kind of love and protection they deserve."
This book is a must-read and it is time we put child safety first in this country. Too many children are dying under the watchful eye of the "system" and it needs to be reformed. Children matter.
This book is a must-read and it is time we put child safety first in this country. Too many children are dying under the watchful eye of the "system" and it needs to be reformed. Children matter.
January 9, 2022
A well written book on the foster care system. Gave some perspectives that I as a foster parent and someone who works with. I’m parents have thought about.
Anyone who works in the system should read
Anyone who works in the system should read
June 11, 2024
Had some good points, but mostly the book pulled information from very extreme cases to argue why children should not remain in the home with their biological parents. Wish the book showcased more stories about families staying safely and successfully together! (As this is my job to prevent children being removed from their homes and it is possible!)
Also, the author has never worked in child welfare 🤔, leaving her in the dark about many DCFS policies and regulations we have to follow.
Overall, author had a very absolute way of thinking.
Also, the author has never worked in child welfare 🤔, leaving her in the dark about many DCFS policies and regulations we have to follow.
Overall, author had a very absolute way of thinking.
February 20, 2022
A very sad deep dive into many aspects of the foster care system in the US along with many ideas of how to fix it.
May 21, 2022
Donr waste your free audible trial. Author blames activists throughout. Believes there should be less oversight in facilities meant to help children? Despicable.
July 21, 2022
4.5
A helpful look at what has gone on and what is currently going on in the foster care system in America.
A helpful look at what has gone on and what is currently going on in the foster care system in America.
August 10, 2022
She does an excellent job identifying many of the problems plaguing the current foster care system. I’m not sure I agree with her proposed solutions.
October 18, 2022
While the book does bring up some good and interesting questions and some important statistics, there are large themes I can’t forgive the author for.
April 30, 2023
Dear god. What a mess. So she starts saying she's not involved in foster care or social work in any way - she's a journalist and then feels the need to then give us all her uneducated irrelevant opinions. This review is full of spoilers but can you really spoil a terrible time reading this book?
Basic run down of her thoughts so you can not waste these hours of your life like I did: (I refers to the authors opinions)
1) Racism in foster care? Nope they're just shitty parents! Never mind actually looking at how all systems work together and I'm going to twist facts to work for me.
2) Adoption is the best thing ever, we should be pushing much more case plans towards that and I've spoke to litterally 0 adoptees about their adoption trauma to come to that point of view.
3) There's too many kids waiting for adoption most of which will never be adopted, we should terminate parents rights quicker and make more wait. Because that makes sense somehow in my messed up head.
4) Helping bio families to reduce kids needing to go into foster care? Awful and hurting kids. Prevention programs are the worst and putting kids into foster care is a better outcome than making staying where they are safe loving homes where possible. I must demonize bio parents because somehow I think that helps litterally anyone.
5) YAY war on drugs! I have vile views towards addicts, appear to have 0 faith in recovery, I have litterally not read anything about how the war on drugs fails everyone, I've not read anything about harm reduction. Really I just think it's a moral failing and mind over matter. I'm using my personal opinions of these people to ignore all of the facts since like ever.
6) Who needs facts when you have shitty opinions! Facts are only facts if I like them.
7) Those ways the system over reacts and takes kids when there's no need? Doesn't really happen, it's a rare occurrence because I don't like it. Taking kids into care for poverty issues? Not a thing because I said so, regardless of the people with massive personal experience of this.
8) *Minimize foster care trauma and make it sound amazing*
9) Religious foster agencies should be allowed to be harmful with things like pushing religion onto the foster kids, LGBTQ issues, etc. Because there's people wanting to foster children (even if their actions harm them). OMG Christians are being so victimized.
10) Our standards for foster parents are too low! We should also make them lower like by making bigotry fine. (Despite the fact we can see how this hurts the kids I'm claiming to care about)
11) Workers who's caseload is over the amount of cases that they're able to manage safely and efficiently should be punished for this. Not just abuse but anything that goes wrong when they're part of a failed system that is set up to fail them and their cases and make it impossible. Because that's how you recruit more desperately needed workers.
12) Why did this terrible book have to add transphobia too? Did the author not think it was bad enough?
13) *Add's some more lies to match authors opinion*
14) Please god someone tell me this is self published and there's not someone dumb enough to like this enough to pay for it. Give me that hope back in the world please. (Nope it's not, someone actually paid for this. How?)
Yes some kids do need to be in foster care and there isn't a better option, yes some kids probably should be adopted, yes some workers suck, but she's just so wrong it blows my mind.
I completely agree the foster system needs reform - like a lot. But following these ideas would make things ever worse - before reading this book I barely thought it was possible. What sort of human thinks writing such uneducated vile ideas could ever be a good plan and how the hell did she get this published. The only reason I suffered through this whole book was to review it to warn others and because there was a part of me with foolish hope that at the end she'd be like, ''It's opposite day! There is racism in foster care, we should do TPR for less people, we should have more prevention programs, the war on drugs is awful and doesn't work, and everything I've said is wrong'' I'm so sad that wasn't the case. I'm still low key hoping this isn't real and I'm currently in a psych ward so deeply in a psychosis episode I've made up this whole book. Maybe I'm not even typing this review right now, I've had a lot of psych ward and psychosis based trauma so for that to be preferable to this book existing - says a lot.
It's not just that I've wasted valuable hours in my life, it's also the amount of harm this book can cause. Real people are hurt by these ideas, including foster kids. As an ex foster kid myself, this is vile and you need to avoid it if you actually care about foster care, want good reform, or just generally don't want to hear hate speech. The fact that this currently has a rating of 3.94 on here fills me with so much sorrow, and shows we need to do so much better.
Basic run down of her thoughts so you can not waste these hours of your life like I did: (I refers to the authors opinions)
1) Racism in foster care? Nope they're just shitty parents! Never mind actually looking at how all systems work together and I'm going to twist facts to work for me.
2) Adoption is the best thing ever, we should be pushing much more case plans towards that and I've spoke to litterally 0 adoptees about their adoption trauma to come to that point of view.
3) There's too many kids waiting for adoption most of which will never be adopted, we should terminate parents rights quicker and make more wait. Because that makes sense somehow in my messed up head.
4) Helping bio families to reduce kids needing to go into foster care? Awful and hurting kids. Prevention programs are the worst and putting kids into foster care is a better outcome than making staying where they are safe loving homes where possible. I must demonize bio parents because somehow I think that helps litterally anyone.
5) YAY war on drugs! I have vile views towards addicts, appear to have 0 faith in recovery, I have litterally not read anything about how the war on drugs fails everyone, I've not read anything about harm reduction. Really I just think it's a moral failing and mind over matter. I'm using my personal opinions of these people to ignore all of the facts since like ever.
6) Who needs facts when you have shitty opinions! Facts are only facts if I like them.
7) Those ways the system over reacts and takes kids when there's no need? Doesn't really happen, it's a rare occurrence because I don't like it. Taking kids into care for poverty issues? Not a thing because I said so, regardless of the people with massive personal experience of this.
8) *Minimize foster care trauma and make it sound amazing*
9) Religious foster agencies should be allowed to be harmful with things like pushing religion onto the foster kids, LGBTQ issues, etc. Because there's people wanting to foster children (even if their actions harm them). OMG Christians are being so victimized.
10) Our standards for foster parents are too low! We should also make them lower like by making bigotry fine. (Despite the fact we can see how this hurts the kids I'm claiming to care about)
11) Workers who's caseload is over the amount of cases that they're able to manage safely and efficiently should be punished for this. Not just abuse but anything that goes wrong when they're part of a failed system that is set up to fail them and their cases and make it impossible. Because that's how you recruit more desperately needed workers.
12) Why did this terrible book have to add transphobia too? Did the author not think it was bad enough?
13) *Add's some more lies to match authors opinion*
14) Please god someone tell me this is self published and there's not someone dumb enough to like this enough to pay for it. Give me that hope back in the world please. (Nope it's not, someone actually paid for this. How?)
Yes some kids do need to be in foster care and there isn't a better option, yes some kids probably should be adopted, yes some workers suck, but she's just so wrong it blows my mind.
I completely agree the foster system needs reform - like a lot. But following these ideas would make things ever worse - before reading this book I barely thought it was possible. What sort of human thinks writing such uneducated vile ideas could ever be a good plan and how the hell did she get this published. The only reason I suffered through this whole book was to review it to warn others and because there was a part of me with foolish hope that at the end she'd be like, ''It's opposite day! There is racism in foster care, we should do TPR for less people, we should have more prevention programs, the war on drugs is awful and doesn't work, and everything I've said is wrong'' I'm so sad that wasn't the case. I'm still low key hoping this isn't real and I'm currently in a psych ward so deeply in a psychosis episode I've made up this whole book. Maybe I'm not even typing this review right now, I've had a lot of psych ward and psychosis based trauma so for that to be preferable to this book existing - says a lot.
It's not just that I've wasted valuable hours in my life, it's also the amount of harm this book can cause. Real people are hurt by these ideas, including foster kids. As an ex foster kid myself, this is vile and you need to avoid it if you actually care about foster care, want good reform, or just generally don't want to hear hate speech. The fact that this currently has a rating of 3.94 on here fills me with so much sorrow, and shows we need to do so much better.
July 13, 2022
Having no firsthand experience with the foster system, I went in hoping for a deep dive that would still be accessible to an outsider like me. This book delivers that, but with a few caveats.
The book makes a compelling argument in favor of group living arrangements, attracting better talent to work for CPS and providing those people with better training, and not granting automatic preference for kinship foster arrangements, using big data to better match children to foster families, among other things. I do feel that I came away from this book with a better understanding of the challenges facing child welfare organizations in the USA.
However, it is clear that the author is not sympathetic toward those attempting to make the system less racist and more affirming to LGBTQ+ youth.
While I agree that racial disparities in the system should not be automatically attributed to bias in every case, the author dismisses out of hand the possibility that racism has any factor in the way the system works. Given how deeply racial bias permeates our society, this dismissal is naive at best.
Regarding queer youth, it’s clear from the author’s word choices that she does not consider queerness to be legitimate or worthy of consideration when assessing parents’ fitness to take in foster children. She frames this as a “war against faith-based foster care.” In the author’s opinion, it should be the foster parents’ prerogative to reject queerness in favor of “traditional” sexual orientation and gender identity, not acknowledging the real damage that can happen to children placed in non-affirming arrangements. The challenges facing transgender youth in particular are minimized and belittled as simply “following the latest gender theories.” For a book whose central thesis is that the system needs to be reframed around the interest of the child rather than the adults in the picture, this is a stark departure.
The book makes a compelling argument in favor of group living arrangements, attracting better talent to work for CPS and providing those people with better training, and not granting automatic preference for kinship foster arrangements, using big data to better match children to foster families, among other things. I do feel that I came away from this book with a better understanding of the challenges facing child welfare organizations in the USA.
However, it is clear that the author is not sympathetic toward those attempting to make the system less racist and more affirming to LGBTQ+ youth.
While I agree that racial disparities in the system should not be automatically attributed to bias in every case, the author dismisses out of hand the possibility that racism has any factor in the way the system works. Given how deeply racial bias permeates our society, this dismissal is naive at best.
Regarding queer youth, it’s clear from the author’s word choices that she does not consider queerness to be legitimate or worthy of consideration when assessing parents’ fitness to take in foster children. She frames this as a “war against faith-based foster care.” In the author’s opinion, it should be the foster parents’ prerogative to reject queerness in favor of “traditional” sexual orientation and gender identity, not acknowledging the real damage that can happen to children placed in non-affirming arrangements. The challenges facing transgender youth in particular are minimized and belittled as simply “following the latest gender theories.” For a book whose central thesis is that the system needs to be reframed around the interest of the child rather than the adults in the picture, this is a stark departure.
December 28, 2022
I could skip chapters 10,11 and 13. At times it focused to much on religious ideas.
I would have liked to seen more history on the foster care system covered and more details on the process of becoming a foster parent.
Memorable saying: “You would never forced a woman to stay in domestic abusive relationship, but we force children to reunite with the parents that put them through neglect and trauma. We make children wait in a system for years while we repeatedly give the adult chance after chance to become a good enough parent. We let the adult in the situation become the victim. The system neglects the child.
Also I found the foster care questionnaire questions interesting. I’m divided… on one side I see the need to ensure the child is going to the safest loving caring home. On the other side I can’t help but think we never ask partners that had their child naturally such repulsive questions. We never stop by parents houses unless cps is called. If you have a baby naturally it is nobody’s business what your religion is or how you plan to feed or discipline them.
It’s very odd
I would have liked to seen more history on the foster care system covered and more details on the process of becoming a foster parent.
Memorable saying: “You would never forced a woman to stay in domestic abusive relationship, but we force children to reunite with the parents that put them through neglect and trauma. We make children wait in a system for years while we repeatedly give the adult chance after chance to become a good enough parent. We let the adult in the situation become the victim. The system neglects the child.
Also I found the foster care questionnaire questions interesting. I’m divided… on one side I see the need to ensure the child is going to the safest loving caring home. On the other side I can’t help but think we never ask partners that had their child naturally such repulsive questions. We never stop by parents houses unless cps is called. If you have a baby naturally it is nobody’s business what your religion is or how you plan to feed or discipline them.
It’s very odd
March 10, 2023
I loved this book! I think anyone working in any capacity within the foster system would benefit from reading this book. I worked as a social worker in Michigan for several years and whole heartedly agree that the judges can very much expedite cases. I was privileged to be in a court of a wonderful judge who held “everyone” in her courtroom accountable and to high standards. She admonished department staff for being unprepared and also called out parents.
I have now served as a GAL in Florida for over 12 years. I have seen how the court has a blatant disrespect for everyone’s time. Everyone has a 1:00 court time but could be called anytime between 1 and 5 pm.
I agree that we need more faith based agencies involved, and the demise of a two parent stable family has contributed to more children involved in the system.
I also agree that the first criteria is to place a child is a loving stable home. Too many activists ( not even familiar with foster care) have stuck their noses in.
Ask the kids what they want and need….
I have now served as a GAL in Florida for over 12 years. I have seen how the court has a blatant disrespect for everyone’s time. Everyone has a 1:00 court time but could be called anytime between 1 and 5 pm.
I agree that we need more faith based agencies involved, and the demise of a two parent stable family has contributed to more children involved in the system.
I also agree that the first criteria is to place a child is a loving stable home. Too many activists ( not even familiar with foster care) have stuck their noses in.
Ask the kids what they want and need….
library-request
May 8, 2025This book gets almost 5 stars on Amazon with a more balanced audience, but not even 4 stars here on liberal GRs which speaks to its veracity. (sigh) NY Post article recently spoke to some of the atrocities perpetrated in the Big Apple because officials don't want to give children to racially different parents. They would rather let the little ones remain in the custody of abusive parents to be tortured and die. Tragic!
February 24, 2023
Eye opening to how current practices within our foster care system meant to help children are furthering the abuse and trauma they experience. I think this read is a MUST for anyone entering social work, considering fostering or assisting through programs like CASA.
Received recommendation through The Spillover podcast.
Received recommendation through The Spillover podcast.
November 26, 2022
Well written non-fiction. Explains a lot about what is wrong with the foster care system and how conservatives can and should engage in helping children in need.
April 4, 2023
Good read! Very informative. Worth your time if you’re interested to learn some of the issues with the foster care system.
June 10, 2025
Outlines the problems. Comprehensive view of current (early 2020s) state ofbFoster Care system. Uses extreme cases to illustrate points. Most situations are not as dire as painted.
December 30, 2022
Definitely worth the read. I went back and forth on the rating. Some things, she nails. Some things, she shows an outsider's perspective that doesn't get deep enough to see the truth, and I wish I could have sat her down and explained to her why some of these things are very far from the target.
For example, she wrote about how churches are getting excluded for their LGBTQ+/Trans policies, and we need to loosen that standard because these churches are the key to foster care. This is insanity, as there are many churches, some of whom are quite the bible thumpers, that are able to function just fine and put their personal beliefs entirely aside to be supportive of a child in need. And the ones who are not, well, we don't need them in foster care, because LGBTQ+/trans issues are going to be the least of a foster parent's problems. What is their response going to be when the child is drawing demon signs or smearing poop on the wall on a daily basis? Foster care is all about open, unconditional love. It is the only way to survive. Otherwise, these families are going to cause more trauma and more disruptions.
On the other hand, she nails the addiction chapter perfectly, and she also points out how raising money endlessly isn't the answer to retaining good foster parents, but we need to fix the system itself, as the best ones won't stay no matter how much we pay because they can't stand to be a part of such a bad system. She also recommends increasing other benefits, like free housing.
So yes, she does a very good job in some areas and misses in others. I can see how she could become confused even - a lot of people do.
However, it is nearly impossible for people on the outside to write about foster care, and she honestly does better than most books taking a stab at this. It is barely possible for people on the inside to understand foster care. Foster care has so many island nations.
For example, she wrote about how churches are getting excluded for their LGBTQ+/Trans policies, and we need to loosen that standard because these churches are the key to foster care. This is insanity, as there are many churches, some of whom are quite the bible thumpers, that are able to function just fine and put their personal beliefs entirely aside to be supportive of a child in need. And the ones who are not, well, we don't need them in foster care, because LGBTQ+/trans issues are going to be the least of a foster parent's problems. What is their response going to be when the child is drawing demon signs or smearing poop on the wall on a daily basis? Foster care is all about open, unconditional love. It is the only way to survive. Otherwise, these families are going to cause more trauma and more disruptions.
On the other hand, she nails the addiction chapter perfectly, and she also points out how raising money endlessly isn't the answer to retaining good foster parents, but we need to fix the system itself, as the best ones won't stay no matter how much we pay because they can't stand to be a part of such a bad system. She also recommends increasing other benefits, like free housing.
So yes, she does a very good job in some areas and misses in others. I can see how she could become confused even - a lot of people do.
However, it is nearly impossible for people on the outside to write about foster care, and she honestly does better than most books taking a stab at this. It is barely possible for people on the inside to understand foster care. Foster care has so many island nations.
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