The Memory Box: A Book About Grief

by Joanna Rowland, Thea Baker (Illustrator)

"I'm scared I'll forget you..."

From the perspective of a young child, Joanna Rowland artfully describes what it is like to remember and grieve a loved one who has died. The child in the story creates a memory box to keep mementos and written memories of the loved one, to help in the grieving process. Heartfelt and comforting, The Memory Box will help children and adults talk about this very difficult topic together. The unique point of view allows the reader to imagine the loss of any they have loved - a friend, family member, or even a pet. A parent guide in the back includes information on helping children manage the complex and difficult emotions they feel when they lose someone they love, as well as suggestions on how to create their own memory box.

"A small children's book can't say everything, but it can say something very important. This wonderfully illustrated book does just that. Joanna Rowland gently reminds a hurting child that amid the pain of losing a loved one to death, their love remains alive in memory and relationships, and that love is not diminished even as the child is called to go on living. Many young (and old!) hearts will find real comfort and courage in these pages." -- Kelly M. Kapic, author of Embodied A Theological Meditation on Pain and Suffering

"When a loved one dies, children need consolation, love, support, and affection. The Memory Box addresses this difficult subject sensitively. This beautiful book will help start the grieving process and support children to talk about their loved on in a normal, healthy way." -- Sue Atkins, author of Parenting Made How to Raise Happy Children

Genres: Picture Books, Grief, Childrens, Death, Fiction, Family, Realistic Fiction

32 pages, Kindle Edition

Published September 26, 2017

Reviews

[Karen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This one landed as a donation in my Little Free Library Shed. Considering the title and premise of the story, meant for children, I wanted to read it before sharing it with the neighborhood.

This is a beautifully told and illustrated story about grieving the loss of a loved one. It shows the emotional connections children can make to those that matter to them while also addressing the questions that go along with the loss of that special someone.

In this story, our main character creates a memory box that includes reminiscences of important moments, thoughts, and/or things that can hold those memories for years to come.

This book provides a special way to help guide children in processing grief and healing through it.

Reading level: 4 – 8 years – Grade Level: Preschool+

[Leyla Eskandarnejad · Rating 5 out of 5]

ریویوم برای این کتاب هم همون ریویویی هست که برای کتاب "خالی" نوشتم.
واقعا قلبم پاره پاره شد با خوندن این دو تا کتاب. امیدوارم هیچ بچه‌ای سوگ رو تحمل نکنه، غمش برای دل کوچیکشون زیادی بزرگه.

[Sara · Rating 4 out of 5]

I can always get another balloon.
But I can never have another you.
I miss you.

sep2025

[Roya · Rating 4 out of 5]

"بعضی روزها به این فکر می‌کنم که آیا غصه‌ی رفتن تو تمام می‌شود؟"

[Zahra Naderi · Rating 5 out of 5]

حالا دو روز از وقتی که متوجه شدم سحر قراره بره خیلی خیلی دور، گذشته. انعطاف و هماهنگی با محیط جدید به بقای ما کمک می‌کنه. پس سحر عوض می‌شه، مثل خیلی‌های دیگه که عوض شدن، یه تغییر ناگزیر. دو روزه که من نشستم یه گوشه و زانوهامو بغل گرفتم و دارم تلاش می‌کنم قوی باشم، تنهایی با غلظت بیشتر. این کتابای قشنگ همیشه برای من مرهمن و درخشیدن سحر برای من، نور امید.

[NayDoubleU · Rating 5 out of 5]

At work (Amazon books) and noticed this book, started reading it and ended it crying on the floor. This book is so beautiful and heart warming. Although it's a tough subject, it's absolutely a topic that should be discussed and it was discussed in such a hopeful manner. Beyond beautiful. I hope the author continues to write books for the early childhood education years on tough subjects and the illustrations were amazing as well,they gave a very mellow calming vibe and that was beautiful in its self

[Lizzie S · Rating 4 out of 5]

A solid book about one way a child might maintain a connection with a deceased loved one, The Memory Box introduces the idea of gathering cherished memories and keeping them in a box. While this book is not quite as expansive as others on the topic, it is a very practical, hands on contribution to the selection of books about grief for children. I will definitely use this book as a foray into therapeutic activities in my work with children.

[Essareh · Rating 5 out of 5]

«جعبهٔ خاطرات» دربارهٔ بچه‌ایه که عزیزی رو از دست داده و حالا سعی می‌کنه با نبودنش کنار بیاد.
زیبا، ساده، کمک‌کننده و غم‌انگیزه. غم‌انگیزتر اینه که مجبور شدم اینو به یه بچهٔ خیلی خوب هدیه بدم.
هوف.

[Mrs Mommy Booknerd http://mrsmommybooknerd.blogspot.com · Rating 5 out of 5]

#FirstLine ~I lost my balloon once.

A must for families to help young ones dealing with and processing grief and loss. I work in emergency victim services and cannot wait to incorporate this book and journal into resources for the families we service. This book is not only beautifully written, but also beautifully illustrated. The book and journal duo is a great way for families to come together and celebrate and remember those we have loved and lost!

[Pam Mooney · Rating 5 out of 5]

A lovely book with kind words and beautiful illustrations. Written with love and compassion for the child who may be reading. I have little girls in my life who lost their mom at a young age and I can see how this book would be so beneficial to a child going through grief. It reinforces and may say differently what they are hearing from their parent or guardian. Also nice to have in their room or special place where they can read. I can see this book being a gift from a teacher, classmate, gran, or anyone who wants to give comfort to a child. A very special treasure.

[Jessica Taylor · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful story and gorgeous illustrations. It's the perfect gift for a child grieving the loss of a parent, grandparent, sibling, or even a beloved pet.

[Kris · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is helpful as a resource for grieving kids, and although it says it is from a Christian perspective, the religious elements are pretty innocuous and wouldn't make the majority of secular people uncomfortable. I found it to be a good balance of spiritual, but without an agenda.

[Tara · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good concept but not a fan of releasing balloons as a way to remember loved ones. This practice is awful for the environment.

[Mackenzi Knoll · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a story with a powerful message to children of loss and grief. This book gives children ways to cope and remember their lost loved ones and how to keep them in your memory for a lifetime. I'd use this book for children who have lost loved ones, so that they can read it and feel like they are not alone. Children will be able to learn some coping mechanisms that they may not have thought of before, which will help children who are dealing with loss and grief deal with it in healthy, proper ways.

[Lillian · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is an excellent book to use for a beginning conversation on grief. I have made memory boxes to give to someone grieving. Having a child make a memory box is a special hands-on project that allows the child to have a conversation, time for reflection, and a keepsake in which to add more memories - new ones and old.

When I meet with grieving children, I find that when they are distracted with an activity they are likely to open up. And then there are times when it allows them to "be" and not be pressured to engage. Creativity is a good tool to use when healing hearts. The heart of the individual can be freely expressed without judgment or expectation.

A child often has difficulty expressing themselves. They have questions that are hard to articulate. The number one question is often "what do I do with my feelings"? Even though they may not express it as such. The memory box gives them a physical space to place feelings and memories that raise questions about their feelings. Will I always feel sad? Is it okay to be happy? And even helping when the time comes they have moments when they feel alarmed they have forgotten the loved one or a particular memory.

Each page has simply statements that any child can relate to give them pause for thought. It can give them comfort that other children have had the same feelings.

And finally, it's a good book for anyone to read who is looking for insight into what children may be thinking and feeling when living with a loss.

[Ember Air · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was beyond amazing. The concepts in this book are explained on a level that most young children will be able to understand, and most adults will be able to implement. The book is worded in such as way as to never actually say who the person who passed was in relation to the girl, so it is very universal on that front. There is a section at the back of the book that made me so happy, it is a section where a professional explains the coping patterns of children, and the ways that adults can help them. As an adult reading for children, this book was very informative; as an adult reading to read, this book had me in tears. It gave me ideas on how to handle some of my own sorrows, which is pretty awesome.

[Erin · Rating 5 out of 5]

I won this book in a giveaway and I can't believe I waited this long to read it! (To be fair, it's been a couple of busy semesters.) The girl's journey through her loss was really touching. It's a great look at how the loss of a loved one can change our lives and how we can actively remember and celebrate them, even while missing them. The collages are beautiful, full of colorful textures that just gave a soft and comforting vibe. Great book and I'd recommend it to others :)

[Sandy Brehl · Rating 4 out of 5]

A gently structured story of a young person using a memory box device to gather and recall and share various memory-triggers for a loved one who has passed. The concept translate well to the specific activity, but also to the various (and universal) feelings of loss, worries about additional loss of memories, and the soothing/healing effects of time.

[Tracie · Rating 4 out of 5]

A young child is afraid they will forget someone who has died.

[Lieca Brown Hohner · Rating 3 out of 5]

Really a higher rating, like 3.75. I absolutely loved the first four pages--how the narrative linked with the illustrations so beautifully. I also love how the sadder feelings being described are shown in smaller font; they are wordier, and perspectively, do look better in smaller font, but I think the harder thoughts in a small font give an understanding to the reader.

But then page 5 jarred me. I moved on. Ok, it's about a person, not a balloon. (I'm still sad about the balloon and its environmental effect.) And an analogy takes us to the next phase of the book.

OK, so losing the balloon is what conjured her sadness; I get it. Her questions, which are tough, are in smaller print. Then, "Because I'm scared I'll forget you." is in larger print.

I'm going to drop my rhythm with the fonts.

Our girl then folds into softness/remembrance, future wishes and connecting with her thoughts--all quite quickly--yet great! a positive in the grieving process, which can be comforting. Then, moving those thoughts into actions--good! And all of that process is necessary and hard and healthy.

Though a child will not see all of this, the process can be altered-as a process-over time-that any child of any age can follow. And find comfort and loving remembrance of a loved one. Marvelous!

The illustrations are fantastic; I guess I would have liked a 32-page narrative that slowed the story...down...just...a...bit. (minor critique)

[Kaylee Mouser · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is about dealing with loss. It's from a child perspective. This young girl fears that she will forget her grandmother. She fears that the memory will fade. But, she then realizes that she can make a memory box. This girl walks about day by day collecting things that remind her of her grandmother. This way her memory will never fade. Some days are good for the girl, other days she is sad. I love how realistic this book is, the process of grieving isnt easy and this book shows the little things you can do to make it easier. Like thinking about the special times with your loved one, and to keep doing those things.. Because this way the memory keeps living. I also think the illustrations are amazing, they show perspective. It's got illustrations in birds eye view looking down on the girl. It's also got texture, you can see and feel how warm the grandmother's knitted blanket was in the picture. You can see the girl is happy on the sunny days, and see that she is not so good on the gloomy days. Overall, this book is sad, but it's realistic. And a suffering child might really benefit from hearing that other people have gone through and overcome the sadness that comes with losing someone.

[Autumn Farlett]

Summary
In the memory box, a young girl (child) is worried she will forget the loved one who passed away. Throughout the book, she creates a memory box with things that remind her of the loved one. She talks to others about the loved one to collect more memories to keep in her box. In the end, she knows she will never forget the person.

Evaluation
I like this book because it communicates about grief on a level that children can understand and this is not common for books.

Teaching
I would not use this book for whole group teaching. I would have this book in my classroom library for students to read if they are interested because it can prepared them for grief or it can retroactively help them. It can be used to teach them how to deal with their emotions. It is important to use books not only as academic teaching resources but social teaching resources because it can make students see more value in books. Also, it provides another way for students to relate to the subject matter and it might click this way whereas it didn't the other ways.

[Erin Buhr · Rating 4 out of 5]

Children experiencing grief is an especially tricky and emotional process. This story explores the questions of Will I forget my loved one? and What do I do with my feelings? It carefully deals with a child’s feelings of wanting to remember their loved one but also needing to move on with life. The emotions are raw and deep, but so too is the hope and love. I especially enjoyed the layered and textured illustrations that add an intriguing depth and beauty to the book. Don’t miss the helpful afterward by a hospital chaplain that specializes in helping children and families deal with grief. I think this book would be helpful for children and families experiencing a loss.

*I received a review copy of this book in exchange for my honest opinion.

[K.L. Bernard · Rating 5 out of 5]

When children experience grief from the loss of a loved one, they need a way to channel their feelings. If they worry, have fear or are lonely because they will miss the loved one, parents and guardians can help a child with these feelings by creating a memory box. Putting together a memory box will help the child create a space where favorite pictures and objects can be kept.

This beautifully illustrated book shares a story of a young girl experiencing the grief of losing a loved one. Parents can sit down with a child to help them understand and cope with their feelings. The back pages share more tools and resources to help families.

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

This gentle book with touching illustrations feels like a comforting hug. A child worries that she will forget her deceased loved one (only referred to as 'you' so the reader can think of their specific relative or friend). Gathering memories in a special box helps her process her grief and this activity is a tangible takeaway for families looking for grief support. Backmatter provides caregivers with suggestions for helping children with their grief. A companion journal is also now available: The Memory Book: A Grief Journal for Children and Families.

[Viviane Elbee · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an excellent picture book to discuss grief with children. It leads naturally to an activity to help cope with the loss of a loved one - the creation of a memory box to hold treasured memories in. The main character of this story includes pictures, special objects (like a heart shaped stone found next to the church they used to attend together), and written words and memories from others about her lost family member.

[McKenzie Squires]

This book shows children how to remember a loved one after loss. I think creating a memory box to remember them is important because it is different than the common way we think of when grieving, which is to just talk. The memory box allows for longevity and a constant way to look back on what you have made. I really enjoyed this book and think it would be great for children to read if they are grieving a loss.

[Erin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Our kids’ school sent a copy of this book home with each of them today after the loss of their oldest sister, along with their own memory box where they can keep memories of her. Both parents cried while we read the book. The pictures are beautiful with a beautiful message letting us all know we will never forget her. 💔

[Miss Kelly · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a good picture book on how to deal with grief. I feel the book is good for all ages to read.
In the back of the book is a letter from Mary Lindberg, who is a hospital chaplain that deals with children and families experiencing grief.
She gives useful advice to parents and older people how to deal with children who are processing grief.

[Suzie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had to pre-read this before I read it to the kids, wait a few weeks, and then read it aloud to them with my most cheery voice so that I wouldn’t cry. LOL It is a lovely book though. It handles death in a delicate way for children and presents a great idea of creating a memory box to remember someone a child has loved and lost.