兩個女人住一起

by 金荷娜, 김하나, Kim Hana

不結婚也不單身，非愛情卻超友誼
多元成家，其實還有這一種可能

　　▲《朝鮮日報》、《韓民族日報》、《京鄉新聞》推薦好書
　　▲Yes24網路書店2019年度之書

　　單身、未婚、獨居，難道就等於孤老終身？
　　我們拒絕套用公式人生！
　　1+1大於2──兩人四貓，加上一群鄰居摯友
　　組成史上最大家族，成為彼此最完美的人生伴侶！

　　獨居資歷超過20年的好友金荷娜、黃善宇，漸漸厭倦一個人住的孤單與不安全感。她們偶然看上一間房子，便決定一起買下它，展開同居生活。

　　住在一起後，兩個好友才真正看見彼此的巨大差異──囤積症vs極簡主義；料理白痴vs烹飪小天才，她們在爭吵磨合與長短互補間，藉由與對方的差異，漸漸更懂得了自己。

　　一起吃飯、一起運動、一起喝酒、一起當貓奴，不用奉養對方的父母，不用成為誰家的媳婦，生病互相照顧、困難互相幫助……兩個女人住一起，找到了單身的輕盈感與有人相伴的溫暖，能夠同時並存的美妙。

　　「一個人製造的是記憶，和別人一起卻能成為回憶。
　　我們決定住在一起，創造雙倍快樂，共同走過人生各種曲折。」

　　臺灣單身人口已突破600萬的現今，傳統婚姻制度和家庭觀念，早已跟不上生活樣貌變化之快速。如同只在一家公司做到退休的工作模式已被打破，「多元成家」代表的不只是性別平權，更包括了突破以婚姻或血緣結合的傳統家庭形式。

　　金荷娜、黃善宇正是掙脫了傳統價值束縛，讓我們看見「家庭組成不只有一種方式」。隨著她們的同居生活，重新找出各自獨立、又能平等付出的幸福生活新藍圖。

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Feminism, Contemporary, Friendship, Audiobook, Cats

272 pages, Kindle Edition

First published February 22, 2019

Reviews

[enzoreads · Rating 5 out of 5]

hyper beau mémoire sur l’amitié, les attentes de la société et la colocation

[CatReader · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kim Hana and Hwang Sunwoo are two South Korean female friends who, in their early 40s, chose for financial and companionship reasons to consolidate their households and begin cohabitating long-term in a large apartment they bought together, with the intent of this arrangement lasting indefinitely. I listened to the audiobook narration of the 2026 English translation of their co-written book Two Women Living Together, first published in South Korea in 2019.

The book consists of a series of essays written separately that discuss why they chose and designed this living arrangement, how they've navigated conflicts and challenging situations, and their future plans. The essays vary from humorous to poignant to mundane, similar to how other cohabitants would probably describe the experience of moving in together and attempting to merge lives.

I did find this concept and situation quite interesting, being mindful that there are sociocultural issues at play that I don't fully understand as an American. For instance, Kim and Hwang talk about the lack of legal recognition of their 'chosen family'-type arrangement in South Korea, where in many social scenarios they have supported each other in a similar fashion as one might support an immediate family member or significant other. Though Kim and Hwang don't identify as gay and don't characterize their relationship as anything other than platonic friendship in the book, from a practical and pragmatic standpoint a lot of those legal protections could be conferred via a civil union, except that as of 2026 same-sex civil unions are still not recognized in South Korea.

Further reading:
Bad Friend: How Women Revolutionized Modern Friendship by Tiffany Watt Smith - if I recall correctly, Hwang and Kim may have been discussed here as well
Single at Heart: The Power, Freedom, and Heart-Filling Joy of Single Life by Bella DiPaolo

My statistics:
Book 27 for 2026
Book 2333 cumulatively

[Madhukari · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love books that inspire, entertain, and help us envision new ways of perceiving the world and living in it.

[Allana · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 rounded firmly up

"A person shouldn't pride themselves on the number of square feet in their house or the brand of car they drive, but on their friends. Not on how accomplished or how powerful their friends are. But how well they can cook, how well they can eat, how soundly they sleep, how well they sing, how honest they can be, how many drinks you've had together, and how many silly memories - those are the things you can truly be proud of."

Not quite the Korean Golden Girls I was looking for, but pretty close.
I loved reading about this friendship.

[Lavelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

a realistic and inspiring look at what life/companionship/etc can look like outside of typical marriage/romantic conventions. I want to be these women and I absolutely loved this book

[Paige · Rating 3 out of 5]

Enjoyable, unique memoir by two South Korean women about their choice to platonically cohabitate More practical (and cat focused!) than philosophical, but still a good time.

[Sam Cheng · Rating 3 out of 5]

Perhaps more accurately, “Two Women Take Out a Mortgage to Buy Their House.” Hana and Sunwoo first connect online, and becoming close friends, they decide to purchase a house in Seoul together, bringing their similarities, differences, and two cats per human (Haku, Tigger, Goro, and Youngbae). In their shared memoir, the two women take turns covering topics such as their jobs, cooking preferences, nuclear family, cleaning habits, work out rhythms, and views on marriage and familial duty. Told without linear progression, their essays on cohabitation provide anecdotes and outline tips for happier living arrangements, push against traditional configurations on one’s home, and point out their experiences on how the world treats unmarried women. Their cheerful tone exemplifies a way for single income households to diversify family structures, showcasing the benefits (and work) of cohabitation. I hoped the book would address my questions about dividing the property should Hana and Sunwoo decide to do so in the future.

Two Women Living Together immediately reminded me of the common practice, at least in my experience, of creating a home with your homies, viably extending the uni-is-one-big-sleepover phase into adulthood proper. The difference would be co-owning a house with a bestie in one’s 40s as opposed to sharing a lease (and not in one’s 40s). It stressed me out that the two women live differently—experience has led me to cohabitate with people I enjoy who live similarly. Hana and Sunwoo’s growth in their friendship made the read more intriguing.

I rate Two Women Living Together 3.5 stars.

My thanks to Ecco and NetGalley for an ARC.

[Cheer is Currently Reading · Rating 4 out of 5]

TWO WOMEN LIVING TOGETHER
RATING: 4.5
GENRE: Memoir, Nonfiction

This short, but poignant memoir redefines what family is. Kim Hana and Hwang Sunwoo, as two single 40-something women, choose to live together after many years of living ‘alone’. As they combine their households in order to have companionship, they struggle with the changes of now having a cohabitant sharing the same space.

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book as someone who lives alone and understands the idea that companionship does not necessarily have to equate to a romantic relationship. It is who we choose as our family and who we want to spend time with. While Hana and Sunwoo were friends before they decided on their current living arrangements, once the change occurs, they find out more about each other now that they live together. There’s many challenges as one is an organized and clean person, while the other is a ‘hoarder’. Yet, despite everything, they are there for each other in ways similar to a spouse, but without all the familial expectations.

This was such a sweet story of how these two women strive to break societal norms.I highly encourage everyone to read this memoir as both Hana and Sunwoo alternate and share their own experiences of cohabitation with a friend and what community and family is.

Thank you to NetGalley and Ecco for a chance to read this book and check it on pub date 1/20/26! I can’t wait to pick up my own physical copy.

[Kelly · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing this book in exchange for an honest review.
If I had my life to do over and I wasn't happily married, I'd consider the lifestyle of these two women. They're breaking the mold on cultural and societal norms and it's refreshing to read.
I can't imagine the courage it takes to go into a situation like these two have but I'm so happy it's working out for them. Their alternating stories are funny.

[新新 Xin-Xin · Rating 5 out of 5]

真的好好看喔～覺得有獨居過的人會很有感＋三十幾歲以上女子更能體會。

[Bigabeille · Rating 4 out of 5]

Une lecture très chouette et rafraîchissante sur 2 femmes qui décident d’acheter un appartement ensemble car elles ne souhaitent pas se marier ou vivre seule. C’est vraiment beau et drôle, évidemment tout n’est pas rose et ça montre que mes quand on se correspond bien, vivre avec un.e autre est toujours une question d’adaptation mais c’est chouette

[Jada Hope · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was incredibly heartwarming. I very much enjoyed hearing the big things as well as the day to day details of becoming found family. Having perspectives from both Kim Hana and Hwang Sunwoo was one of my favourite aspects. Two Women Living Together was such a warm and lovely read.

I was given an arc from Ecco Books.

[Janina · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked this! Easy to read, two women in their forties as platonic life companions and their cats.

[Steph | bookedinsaigon]

Audiobook DNFed @ 7%. After a few chapters, I could discern no difference between the narrative voices of the two women.

[Stella · Rating 4 out of 5]

An adorable true life story about two women who choose to live and make their lives together, unromantically.

I live this life. I've lived with my best friend and our cats for the last 19 years. I wouldn't change a single thing.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publishers for the opportunity to read and review this book.

[Sunkyoung Lee · Rating 4 out of 5]

p. 17-18: 혼자의 정점을 찍었던 서핑 여행 이후로 나는 산 정상에서 하산하듯 자연스럽게 친구들과 같이 뭔가를 도모하는 쪽으로 서서히 변화했다. 당장 그해 가을에 두 친구와 함께 열흘 동안 일본으로 여행을 갔고, 다음 해 겨울부터는 지금의 동거인과 같이 살게 되었으니까. 여전히 나는 혼자 먹는 밥이 맛있고 혼자 하는 여행의 간편한 기동력을 사랑한다. 그런 한편으로 또 믿게 되었다. 혼자 하는 모든 일�� 기억이지만 같이 할 때는 추억이 된다는 이야기를. 감탄도 투덜거림도, 내적 독백으로 삼킬 만큼 삼켜본 뒤에는 입 밖에 내서 확인하고 싶어진다.

p. 113-114: 나중에 심리학에서 나 같은 사람의 애착 관계 형성 양상을 회피 유형으로 분류한다는 걸 알았다. 공격적으로 말하기보다 부드럽게 둘러서 얘기하고, 마찰이 생길라 치면 상황을 외면해버리기에 독립적이고 쿨해 보이는 이런 사람들은 실은 비겁한 부류다. 실망하기 싫어서 기대하지 않은 척하고, 부딪치기 싫어서 크게 중요하지 않은 척하는. 인격이 성숙해서 잘 안 싸우는 사람이 전혀 아니라, 오히려 미숙해서 잘 못 싸우는 사람에 가까웠던 거다. 다투더라도 기분이 상했을 때 내 집으로 돌아와 동굴 같은 그곳에서 휴식을 취하면 되었으니까. 하지만 이번에는 통하지 않았다. 함께 사는 사람과 싸운다는 건 도망갈 곳이 없어진 거다. 지금까진 누구와의 갈등도 이렇게까지 깊게 제대로 해결할 필요까진 없었다면 이제 절벽을 뒤에 둔 느낌으로 최선을 다해 임해야 한다. 제대로 잘 싸워야 한다.

p. 115: 이 싸움의 목적이 뭔지 생각해본다. 나의 가장 잘 드는 무기를 찾아 쥐고 한 번에 숨통이 끊어지게 적의 급소에 꽂는 것인가? 다시는 일어날 수 없도록 흠씬 두들겨 패서 밟아버리는 것인가? 함께 사는 사람, 같이 살아가야 하는 사람과의 싸움은 잊어버리기 위한 싸움이다. 삽을 들고 감정의 물길을 판 다음 잘 흘려보내기 위한 싸움이다. 제자리로 잘 돌아오기 위한 싸움이다.
사람은 혼자서도 행복할 수 있지만 자신의 세계에 누군가를 들이기로 결정한 이상은, 서로의 감정과 안녕을 살피고 노력할 수 밖에 없다. 우리는 계속해서 싸우고, 곧 화해하고 다시 싸운다. 반복해서 용서했다가 또 실망하지만 여전히 큰 기대를 거는 일을 포기하지 않는다. 서로에게 계속해서 기회를 준다. 그리고 이렇게 이어지는 교전 상태가, 전혀 싸우지 않을 때의 허약한 평화보다 훨씬 건강함을 나는 안다.

p. 119: 동거인의 상사였던 이혜주 편집장님이 결혼 생활에 대해 이런 말씀을 하셨다고 한다. "둘만 같이 살아도 단체 생활이다." 동거인에게 가장 중요한 자질은 서로 라이프 스타일이 맞느냐 안 맞느냐보다, 공동 생활을 위해 노력할 마음이 있느냐 없느냐에 달렸을 것 같다. 그래야 갈등이 생겨도 봉합할 수 있다.

p. 205: 운동에 대해 내가 롤모델로 삼는 사람은 인스타에 가득한 몸짱 트레이너도, 어떤 프로 운동선수도 아닌 김하나의 어머니다. "느그, 늙으면 자신감이 어디서 나오는지 아나? 체력이다." 김하나의 어머니는 체구가 작고 언제나 몸이 약해서 늘 누워 계셨다는데, 40대 이후에 꾸준히 요가와 수영을 해오면서 지금은 이렇게 말씀하시는 정도가 되었다. 언젠가 우리를 부산역에 데려다주시면서 어머니는, 40대에 한창 수영을 배울 때 처음 잠영에 성공했던 이야기를 들려주셨다. "어떤 사람이 수영장 레인 끝에서 끝까지 숨을 참고 단번에 헤엄쳐 가는 거야. 저 사람은 참 대단하고 멋있구나 싶었는데 나는 그리 못할 것 같았어, 절대로. 숨을 도저히 못 참을 거 같더라고. 그런데 어느 날 한번 결심을 하고 나도 되는 데까지만 가보자, 했더니만 끝까지 갈 수가 있더라고. 숨 한 번도 안 쉬고 말이야. 어찌나 기본이 좋던지, 응? 그러니까 뭐든 안 된다고 생각하지 말고 한번 해보는 것도 좋아."

[Polly · Rating 4 out of 5]

It is a delightful and heartwarming little book, filled with cute illustrations and beautifully curated photos. If you enjoy minimalist, artsy interior design, or soft furnishings aesthetic, or you’re a devoted cat lover, reading this book will likely be a soothing and enjoyable experience!

Beyond the visuals, the writing itself is light and effortlessly natural. The book centers around the daily interactions between two housemates, Hana and Sunwoo, told through their alternating perspectives. Reading this book is like watching a slice-of-life reality show. Despite their contrasting personalities and lifestyles, they always manage to reflect, communicate openly, and reach mutual understanding. This emotional honesty and balance in cohabitation is one of the book’s most compelling aspects.

Also, non-romantic cohabitation is another important topic in this book. It makes me rethink what intimacy really means.

Toward the end of the book, Sunwoo expresses a thought that resonates deeply:
互許終身，決定以婚姻這個強力約束綁住彼此，自然事件美好的事，但即便不是如此，在一個人的生命週期，假如能在某段時光相互照顧、成為彼此的依靠，不也是很溫暖嗎？既然個人欣然為彼此帶來這種福利，法律和制度就必須加以輔助才對。當有別於過往、形式多元的家庭變得更加穩固健康時，社會這個共同體的綜合幸福指數，必然也會跟著提升。
(Translation: Committing to spend your life with someone through the institution of marriage is, of course, a beautiful thing. But even outside of that, if two people can care for and rely on each other during a chapter of their lives, isn’t that also something warm and meaningful? If individuals willingly offer each other this kind of support, then laws and institutions should evolve to reflect and facilitate it. As these alternative forms of family become more stable and healthy, the overall happiness index of our society is bound to rise as well.)

What a beautiful and necessary perspective!

[Andrew · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars. Hana and Sunwoo are two women in their forties who decide to platonically cohabitate in Seoul-- something that isn't too common in Korea's rigid family structure. This memoir chronicles the trials and tribulations of living together, as well as the camaraderie between them (and their four cats!) in a humorous dual narrative that may also serve well as a guide on how to live harmoniously with others.

[Kate · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very wholesome lil book with lil blurbs about Hana and Sunwoo, two friends who cohabitate platonically and own a home together. An enjoyable read that made me want to adopt 2-4 more cats immediately!!!

[anaeliteratura · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'M SO GLAD THIS BOOK EXISTS !! MORE REPRESENTATION LIKE THIS IN THE WORLD, PLEASE !!

“existing for the sake of appealing to a man does nothing for my self-worth or happiness.”

“what gives people the right to pry into someone's life as if they're in charge of it? perceived to be young and naïve, unwed women are often subjected to such invasive surveillance.”

“i don’t buy less books, but i do read a lot more. if similarities bring people together, differences fill the spaces between them.”

[Diane Jeske · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wanted so much to like this book. As a woman in a very happy Platonic marriage to another woman, I couldn’t wait to read about these two Korean women who bought a home together. But the book is just not interesting, because the two women involved are not particularly interesting. The book is light on social analysis but heavy with tales about excessive drinking. They refer to each other as ‘co-habitants,’ and never even discuss the issue of their commitment to each other. They casually mention the possibility of one of them meeting a man one day, suggesting that that would terminate their current arrangement. I applaud their voicing the importance of considering a range of possibilities for finding consistent support and companionship, and have no objection to the idea that the importance of an intimate arrangement is not necessarily determined by its permanence. But I would have liked more reflection on these issues and less on adults binge drinking.

[Mikayla · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’ve enjoyed getting to take a moment walking through in Hana’s and Sunwoos lives. It can get repetitive from chapter to chapter, but a lot of that’s just how thoughtfully the authors wanted to paint each subject in their life. Overall a very cozy read.

[sophia williams · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very lovely book about the friendship between two women, their cats, and exploring a different style of family dynamics and expectations.

[Susan Ludwig]

I couldn't get into it.

[Dana Kim · Rating 4 out of 5]

i liked this more than i thought i would. super warm and fuzzy read about coexisting with another

[박은정 Park · Rating 5 out of 5]

간만에 말랑한 책.

[Remi · Rating 4 out of 5]

this is a gentle and grounded collection of essays about two women in their thirties who choose to share a home, share the logistics of living, and slowly, quietly, share a life. what i enjoyed most was how ordinary the book allows itself to be. instead of stretching for big emotional revelations or dramatic friendship narratives, kim hana and hwang sunwoo focus on the very real day-to-day: how to divide chores, how to navigate differing habits, how a shared space becomes a shared rhythm.

the friendship here is never forced into sentimentality; it grows through grocery lists, weekend cleaning, silent mornings, and the ongoing negotiation of personal boundaries. there’s a certain tenderness in how they allow one another to simply exist.

this makes the book a comforting, steady read, something that feels particularly relatable for millennial women building self-chosen support systems outside of traditional family structures. i also appreciated how the essays highlight companionship as a valid and meaningful form of intimacy, without having to label or explain it.

it’s a light read in tone (i found myself picking it up before bed), but the themes linger: how we create home, how we care for others, and how friendship can be a long-term life practice.

in a nutshell: a quiet, reflective book about living alongside another person and letting that gentle closeness reshape your world.

-------

ditching gender norms and societal expectations...it could be an important book for me ;)

*thank you to Ecco for the ARC*

[Eseink Kuo · Rating 4 out of 5]

‘’無論家庭的型態是什麼樣子，我們會彼此依靠，也會帶著兩倍的快樂走過人生的各種曲折。‘’

‘’對於越不了解、越疏遠、越缺乏愛的對象，就越容易將其一般化，就算被胡亂包在一起互相抵銷也無所謂。‘’

‘’同居人來說，最重要的特質不是生活方式是否契合，而是有沒有心為了共同生活努力。‘’

‘’一個人做的一切都會變成記憶，但和別人一起做，就會變成回憶。‘’

好喜歡書裡的兩位主角，獨立卻又能互相扶持陪伴的女性，喜歡他們對生活的堅持，對韓國不平等的性別文化的反思，是我想要成為的大人模樣。和好友G一起住的這兩年是我工作後不可獲缺的快樂來源，讓我不知不覺中對這個這個我曾經以為我一輩子都無法喜歡的城市產生了一種稱之為家的依戀，謝謝妳的陪伴。

[Rhonda Lomazow · Rating 5 out of 5]

Two women living together platonically.,two friends sharing a home supporting each other sharing rent bills their lives.This was a wonderful read
I enjoyed getting to know these women.who have uniquely decide to live together grow old together sharing their lives a couple with no romantic relationship.

[Souhyung Kim · Rating 5 out of 5]

Made me dream of my own future