a realistic and inspiring look at what life/companionship/etc can look like outside of typical marriage/romantic conventions. I want to be these women and I absolutely loved this book
TWO WOMEN LIVING TOGETHER RATING: 4.5 GENRE: Memoir, Nonfiction
This short, but poignant memoir redefines what family is. Kim Hana and Hwang Sunwoo, as two single 40-something women, choose to live together after many years of living ‘alone’. As they combine their households in order to have companionship, they struggle with the changes of now having a cohabitant sharing the same space.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book as someone who lives alone and understands the idea that companionship does not necessarily have to equate to a romantic relationship. It is who we choose as our family and who we want to spend time with. While Hana and Sunwoo were friends before they decided on their current living arrangements, once the change occurs, they find out more about each other now that they live together. There’s many challenges as one is an organized and clean person, while the other is a ‘hoarder’. Yet, despite everything, they are there for each other in ways similar to a spouse, but without all the familial expectations.
This was such a sweet story of how these two women strive to break societal norms.I highly encourage everyone to read this memoir as both Hana and Sunwoo alternate and share their own experiences of cohabitation with a friend and what community and family is.
Thank you to NetGalley and Ecco for a chance to read this book and check it on pub date 1/20/26! I can’t wait to pick up my own physical copy.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing this book in exchange for an honest review. If I had my life to do over and I wasn't happily married, I'd consider the lifestyle of these two women. They're breaking the mold on cultural and societal norms and it's refreshing to read. I can't imagine the courage it takes to go into a situation like these two have but I'm so happy it's working out for them. Their alternating stories are funny.
4.5 stars. Hana and Sunwoo are two women in their forties who decide to platonically cohabitate in Seoul-- something that isn't too common in Korea's rigid family structure. This memoir chronicles the trials and tribulations of living together, as well as the camaraderie between them (and their four cats!) in a humorous dual narrative that may also serve well as a guide on how to live harmoniously with others.
p. 17-18: 혼자의 정점을 찍었던 서핑 여행 이후로 나는 산 정상에서 하산하듯 자연스럽게 친구들과 같이 뭔가를 도모하는 쪽으로 서서히 변화했다. 당장 그해 가을에 두 친구와 함께 열흘 동안 일본으로 여행을 갔고, 다음 해 겨울부터는 지금의 동거인과 같이 살게 되었으니까. 여전히 나는 혼자 먹는 밥이 맛있고 혼자 하는 여행의 간편한 기동력을 사랑한다. 그런 한편으로 또 믿게 되었다. 혼자 하는 모든 일은 기억이지만 같이 할 때는 추억이 된다는 이야기를. 감탄도 투덜거림도, 내적 독백으로 삼킬 만큼 삼켜본 뒤에는 입 밖에 내서 확인하고 싶어진다.
p. 113-114: 나중에 심리학에서 나 같은 사람의 애착 관계 형성 양상을 회피 유형으로 분류한다는 걸 알았다. 공격적으로 말하기보다 부드럽게 둘러서 얘기하고, 마찰이 생길라 치면 상황을 외면해버리기에 독립적이고 쿨해 보이는 이런 사람들은 실은 비겁한 부류다. 실망하기 싫어서 기대하지 않은 척하고, 부딪치기 싫어서 크게 중요하지 않은 척하는. 인격이 성숙해서 잘 안 싸우는 사람이 전혀 아니라, 오히려 미숙해서 잘 못 싸우는 사람에 가까웠던 거다. 다투더라도 기분이 상했을 때 내 집으로 돌아와 동굴 같은 그곳에서 휴식을 취하면 되었으니까. 하지만 이번에는 통하지 않았다. 함께 사는 사람과 싸운다는 건 도망갈 곳이 없어진 거다. 지금까진 누구와의 갈등도 이렇게까지 깊게 제대로 해결할 필요까진 없었다면 이제 절벽을 뒤에 둔 느낌으로 최선을 다해 임해야 한다. 제대로 잘 싸워야 한다.
p. 115: 이 싸움의 목적이 뭔지 생각해본다. 나의 가장 잘 드는 무기를 찾아 쥐고 한 번에 숨통이 끊어지게 적의 급소에 꽂는 것인가? 다시는 일어날 수 없도록 흠씬 두들겨 패서 밟아버리는 것인가? 함께 사는 사람, 같이 살아가야 하는 사람과의 싸움은 잊어버리기 위한 싸움이다. 삽을 들고 감정의 물길을 판 다음 잘 흘려보내기 위한 싸움이다. 제자리로 잘 돌아오기 위한 싸움이다. 사람은 혼자서도 행복할 수 있지만 자신의 세계에 누군가를 들이기로 결정한 이상은, 서로의 감정과 안녕을 살피고 노력할 수 밖에 없다. 우리는 계속해서 싸우고, 곧 화해하고 다시 싸운다. 반복해서 용서했다가 또 실망하지만 여전히 큰 기대를 거는 일을 포기하지 않는다. 서로에게 계속해서 기회를 준다. 그리고 이렇게 이어지는 교전 상태가, 전혀 싸우지 않을 때의 허약한 평화보다 훨씬 건강함을 나는 안다.
p. 119: 동거인의 상사였던 이혜주 편집장님이 결혼 생활에 대해 이런 말씀을 하셨다고 한다. "둘만 같이 살아도 단체 생활이다." 동거인에게 가장 중요한 자질은 서로 라이프 스타일이 맞느냐 안 맞느냐보다, 공동 생활을 위해 노력할 마음이 있느냐 없느냐에 달렸을 것 같다. 그래야 갈등이 생겨도 봉합할 수 있다.
p. 205: 운동에 대해 내가 롤모델로 삼는 사람은 인스타에 가득한 몸짱 트레이너도, 어떤 프로 운동선수도 아닌 김하나의 어머니다. "느그, 늙으면 자신감이 어디서 나오는지 아나? 체력이다." 김하나의 어머니는 체구가 작고 언제나 몸이 약해서 늘 누워 계셨다는데, 40대 이후에 꾸준히 요가와 수영을 해오면서 지금은 이렇게 말씀하시는 정도가 되었다. 언젠가 우리를 부산역에 데려다주시면서 어머니는, 40대에 한창 수영을 배울 때 처음 잠영에 성공했던 이야기를 들려주셨다. "어떤 사람이 수영장 레인 끝에서 끝까지 숨을 참고 단번에 헤엄쳐 가는 거야. 저 사람은 참 대단하고 멋있구나 싶었는데 나는 그리 못할 것 같았어, 절대로. 숨을 도저히 못 참을 거 같더라고. 그런데 어느 날 한번 결심을 하고 나도 되는 데까지만 가보자, 했더니만 끝까지 갈 수가 있더라고. 숨 한 번도 안 쉬고 말이야. 어찌나 기본이 좋던지, 응? 그러니까 뭐든 안 된다고 생각하지 말고 한번 해보는 것도 좋아."
It is a delightful and heartwarming little book, filled with cute illustrations and beautifully curated photos. If you enjoy minimalist, artsy interior design, or soft furnishings aesthetic, or you’re a devoted cat lover, reading this book will likely be a soothing and enjoyable experience!
Beyond the visuals, the writing itself is light and effortlessly natural. The book centers around the daily interactions between two housemates, Hana and Sunwoo, told through their alternating perspectives. Reading this book is like watching a slice-of-life reality show. Despite their contrasting personalities and lifestyles, they always manage to reflect, communicate openly, and reach mutual understanding. This emotional honesty and balance in cohabitation is one of the book’s most compelling aspects.
Also, non-romantic cohabitation is another important topic in this book. It makes me rethink what intimacy really means.
Toward the end of the book, Sunwoo expresses a thought that resonates deeply: 互許終身,決定以婚姻這個強力約束綁住彼此,自然事件美好的事,但即便不是如此,在一個人的生命週期,假如能在某段時光相互照顧、成為彼此的依靠,不也是很溫暖嗎?既然個人欣然為彼此帶來這種福利,法律和制度就必須加以輔助才對。當有別於過往、形式多元的家庭變得更加穩固健康時,社會這個共同體的綜合幸福指數,必然也會跟著提升。 (Translation: Committing to spend your life with someone through the institution of marriage is, of course, a beautiful thing. But even outside of that, if two people can care for and rely on each other during a chapter of their lives, isn’t that also something warm and meaningful? If individuals willingly offer each other this kind of support, then laws and institutions should evolve to reflect and facilitate it. As these alternative forms of family become more stable and healthy, the overall happiness index of our society is bound to rise as well.)
this is a gentle and grounded collection of essays about two women in their thirties who choose to share a home, share the logistics of living, and slowly, quietly, share a life. what i enjoyed most was how ordinary the book allows itself to be. instead of stretching for big emotional revelations or dramatic friendship narratives, kim hana and hwang sunwoo focus on the very real day-to-day: how to divide chores, how to navigate differing habits, how a shared space becomes a shared rhythm.
the friendship here is never forced into sentimentality; it grows through grocery lists, weekend cleaning, silent mornings, and the ongoing negotiation of personal boundaries. there’s a certain tenderness in how they allow one another to simply exist.
this makes the book a comforting, steady read, something that feels particularly relatable for millennial women building self-chosen support systems outside of traditional family structures. i also appreciated how the essays highlight companionship as a valid and meaningful form of intimacy, without having to label or explain it.
it’s a light read in tone (i found myself picking it up before bed), but the themes linger: how we create home, how we care for others, and how friendship can be a long-term life practice.
in a nutshell: a quiet, reflective book about living alongside another person and letting that gentle closeness reshape your world.
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ditching gender norms and societal expectations...it could be an important book for me ;)
A very wholesome lil book with lil blurbs about Hana and Sunwoo, two friends who cohabitate platonically and own a home together. An enjoyable read that made me want to adopt 2-4 more cats immediately!!!
***Thanks to NetGalley for this ARC in exchange for my honest review***
This charming collection of short essays from two South Korean women close in age and similarly successful who combined forces to create their own unit, which includes their four cats. Their appreciation for each other and their circumstances is apparent, as are some of the challenges they had to overcome to achieve this level of harmony. I especially enjoyed their take on how the lack of obligation towards each others' parents (because they weren't in the dreaded role of daughter-in-law) allowed them to have a better relationship with them. I also loved how obsessed they are with their cats because, um, same. It's heartening to hear of women choosing their own means of attaining fulfilling lives despite societal pressures to choose a different path. Their open-mindedness was refreshing.
Recently translated from Korean this is a memoir about two adult women who are good friends and roommates. We alternate between chapters written by each woman. At moments it felt a little self help-y (neutral) - giving the reader wisdom about communication, cohabitation, and (maybe surprisingly) financial matters. We also get a really interesting look at aspects of Korean culture that I wasn’t privy to before reading. Overall it was a very sweet book that I’m happy I got to read. Thanks to the publisher for a galley - Two Women Living Together comes out in January 2026.
impressively well-written memoir of these two people, and getting to see both of their perspectives helped to make it a lot deeper. 5 stars. tysm for the arc.