Sit Down to Rise Up: How Radical Self-Care Can Change the World

by Shelly Tygielski, Chelsea Handler (Foreword), Sharon Salzberg (Afterword)

An empowering book on propelling profound social change by going inward, from a mindfulness teacher and activist who has turned personal practice into movements

The practice of self-care is most often touted for its profound mind, body, and spirit benefits. Shelly Tygielski shows that self-care can also be a powerful tool for spurring transformative collective action. In a winning combination of memoir, manifesto, and how-to, Shelly shares her evolution from a Jerusalem-born child of traditional Sephardic Jewish parents to a middle-class American suburban youth who questioned her faith to a young executive in corporate America. As she used radical self-care practices to manage a serious chronic health issue, she had an finding true health and peace is not a solo endeavor but one that lives in connection with others. Tygielski considers herself an unlikely meditator, activist, and teacher. But as such, she is uniquely qualified to speak to all today who wonder, “What can I do?” or, “Will my actions even make a difference?” Tygielski’s work began as “me” work and transformed into “we” work. In Sit Down to Rise Up , she shows that this is possible for all of us.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Mental Health, Audiobook, Memoir, Inspirational, Spirituality

256 pages, Hardcover

Published November 16, 2021

About the author

Philanthropist and social activist Shelly Tygielski has been hailed by individuals ranging from President Joe Biden to Arianna Huffington and Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn to Maria Shriver. She is the founder of the global, grassroots mutual aid organization, Pandemic of Love. Her work has been featured in over 100 media outlets, including CNN Heroes, The Kelly Clarkson Show, CBS This Morning, the New York Times and Washington Post. She is the Executive Producer and co-host, with actress and activist Debra Messing (Will & Grace) of the television show "All Hands on Deck."

Shelly is a trauma-informed mindfulness teacher and a Garrison Institute Fellow who has been called one of the “12 Powerful Women of the Mindfulness Movement” by Mindful Magazine. Shelly teaches formalized self-care, community-building and resilience to organizations around the world and has taught at over 75 organizations and conferences.

She is happily married to her husband, Jason, and is the mother of a son she adores, Liam. In her free time, Shelly enjoys skateboarding, snowboarding, playing guitar and making craft cocktails. She and her husband are currently living a nomadic existence, moving to a new location every few months. Shelly holds a Bachelors of Arts from University of Miami, a Masters Degree from Columbia University and is currently pursuing a doctorate in Philanthropic Leadership from Indiana University's Lilly School of Philanthropy.

Reviews

[Nancy Anne · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a wonderful read. I could not put it down. It is a great "how to" in how best to take care of yourself, even in your darkest moments, and in turn, you will become a better person for the world. The reader learns through the author's examples that taking care of yourself is not selfish or indulgent, it is preservation. Self care also directly impacts the lives of those around us. If we as individuals cannot show up for ourselves, then we can never show up for others. Most importantly, this book stresses that asking for help is not a sign of weakness, we all need help at times. And then giving help when one has abundance is a huge gift to both the giver and the receiver. Everyone needs a support system. I was gently reminded throughout this book that as human beings, we are part of a collective, where we should cooperate and not compete. If our children model this, we leave the world a better place for their children. In combining to mutually support each other, we are at our strongest. This book allows the reader to understand permission to heal and move forward and become a better person for the world. Anyone wanting to make a change in the world and doesn't know how to start, should start with this book.

[Eric · Rating 5 out of 5]

I picked this book up because of its title. First, I thought it was really cheesy, like an AI-generated parody of a self-help book. It had all the right keywords: “self-care”, “rise up”, “radical” … eye roll. But then I found myself feeling curious about it. What is radical self-care? Brushing your teeth four times a day? And how can it help us change the world? By definition, it’s something you do for yourself … and so I started reading.

And so I learned what radical self-care is: it’s everything we do (or don’t do) to defend our needs and to nurture our values, mutually entrusted to a community. This is just one definition. While Tygielski’s writing style left me looking for definitions, I gradually learned that the concepts she describes are highly personal and temporal, and so single definitions will fail to describe them for everyone. To her credit, Tygielski provides a lot of metaphors, research, and quotes from experts instead.

How can self-care help us rise up? Because we cannot always be who we want to be. We are fallible, no matter how hard we drill ourselves, no matter how atomic our habits may be. Our communities keep us accountable, show us love, and help us pick ourselves up. Sometimes they will pick us up directly. And they will hold us. Put this way, it’s incredibly ironic that this is even a “radical” idea. The need to be held is a basic human need. And we evolved to mutually trust in each other to survive. Not to mention all the benefits of working with a team to amplify our impact. Yet, we also evolved to fear the unknown, the Other. And our culture often works in ways to capitalize on that latter instinct and suppress the former.

After I read this book, I realized that for some time now I’ve been the student, ready for my teacher to appear to show me the way to action. Because it’s not enough to know your values: we must also live them. Since I’ve read this book, I’ve found myself seeing opportunities to do the smallest thing, as Tygielski advises. I’ve seen a man buy a coffee for a stranger sitting out in the rain; I’ve seen a woman give away her umbrella in a downpour; I’ve seen a mother being strong for her children. What spark burned these images into my memory? The arc between the heart and the mind. These are just a few examples of showing up, to me.

I feel very grateful to Tygielski for sharing her amazing story. Maybe someday soon I can find the strength to tell my own. I have to believe that my community and the world that I want to live in await.

[Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

I listened to this book (read by the author) and promptly bought myself a hard copy so that I can highlight, write notes, mark passages...you get the idea. This book fell in my lap just when I needed it most...like so many books do for me (grateful). Shelly is simply amazing and wrote this book during the pandemic which has been such a challenging time. Yet she invites readers to be their best selves. Her life story is amazing...from being kidnapped as a baby to weathering a divorce and fighting a debilitating physical condition. Some things I remember w/o notes:
A) Show up...isn't that the truth? Show up for yourself, show up for others.
B) Make time for yourself and assist others in making time for themselves...yes, yes, yes.
C) Quit staying in your zone...reach across the divide and make friends with someone you wouldn't think of at first blush. Two powerful anecdotes here: one about introducing her baby to a homeless man,,,I was crying while driving listening to this powerful story. Two, about a woman in New York lending a helping hand to a woman in Texas. Both women were on opposite ends of the political spectrum. And guess what y'all? They became FRIENDS. I emphasize this because I am challenged to learn this lesson for myself.
I love self-help books and I would place this book in that category...very, very, very, very excellent, chock full of wonderful ideas and lessons. This is my big recommendation for summer, 2022!

[Magdelanye · Rating 4 out of 5]

The concept of self-care has been hi-jacked by corporations to create a very profitable industrial wellness complex. p91

Authentic self-care is a radical act of self preservation...we all need p92

self-care: the practice of taking an active role in protecting our own well-being, pursuing happiness, and having the ability, tools and resources to respond to periods of stress....Social transformation work begins with the self. p220

Shelley Tygielski has written this engaging book to share her extensive experience in comminity organizing. Her enthusiasm is contagious.

The worst thing that happens in life is not death. The worst thing would be to miss it....the greatest danger to life is not showing up. p121

[Megan Patrick · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book gave me a new perspective on improving myself through the care of others in sustainable movements and the ripple effect it can create in our circles of influence.

[Suzanne · Rating 3 out of 5]

The author shared several fascinating stories of her remarkable life and also some quotes that I found personally inspirational. However, the book still wasn’t exactly what I had anticipated after reading the title and promotional info!

[Nausheena · Rating 5 out of 5]

I listened to Shelly narrate her own book and feel I know her so much better. Such a vulnerable memoir coupled with self reflection and depth. I too struggle with self care but instead am drawn to community collective care. It reminds me of the Arabic word Ummah. I needed this book right now in my life. It felt affirming. Thanks ledge buddy!

[Analisa Parres · Rating 5 out of 5]

Inspiring and engaging

Shelly's story is humble, yet rises to find the best she can be using her community for support while rising her community to a higher level.Take good self care to overflow toward the care of others is the key to raise everyone. We need to encourage the mainstream that self care is not selfish,or self-serving, but will lead towards service of others. Thank you, Shelly, for writing this book from the heart, and being one of my tribe,without being aware of that fact. If you lead me towards the light I will follow.

[Cindie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This inspiring book is part autobiographical, part self-care guidance, and part handbook on best practices for mutual aid, all woven together in a beautiful tapestry of wisdom through experience. Shelly offers succinct, actionable suggestions on the importance and impact of simply “showing up.” Seldom do I read a book more than once, but this is one that I plan to read again and again as a gentle reminder of the positive impact of beginning each day with an intention and approaching every human interaction from place of love.

[lori · Rating 4 out of 5]

p. 47 I have enough. I do enough. I am enough
p. 223 Our purpose is to love, and that means that we much show up so that our work can allow love to be continuously released into the world. We are not free to abandon that work, lest we intend to abandon the world and, in turn, ourselves.

[Jessica · Rating 2 out of 5]

DNF - I was listening to the audiobook and it had about an hour left when I threw in the trowel. 2 stars because I didn't enjoy the 5 or 6 hours or whatever leading up to my stopping point, but there were a couple of good ideas in there.

I picked up this book with no prior knowledge of what it contained. I'd never heard of the author or even of Pandemic of Love. I assumed based on the title that it was a book about radical self-care...it is not. There is no actual information in this book about self-care, other than to encourage you to get yourself a "tribe" that can help you so you can have time for self-care. This book is more of a very vague guide to community organizing hidden within a memoir.

It felt like a bunch of inspirational Instagram captions strung together and interspersed with humble-brags. Almost every single anecdote showcased the author changing someone's perspective/life just by having a conversation with them, or telling them to "take meditation off the mat." There are two different times in the book that she mentions making a facebook post right before bed with some kind of call to action or event or something, and then magically waking up to hundreds of responses. That is not a typical experience, and she fails to detail how she was able to gain that kind of influencer status prior to her posts. Similarly, when talking about pandemic of love, she says they grew so fast she was opening "chapters" and training people...how? with what? NO DETAILS WERE GIVEN. She was able to put in the smallest amount of effort and suddenly create a mOvEMenT, and then imply that we can all do the same, but gave us no information on how to even begin doing something like that. And there are entire chapters full of platitudes about how wealth is immoral and mutual aid isn't a handout and blah blah blah. I agreed with a lot of what she was saying, but there just weren't any original ideas in there.

I did not enjoy this book, probably in large part because it was not what I expected. But also because even after realizing it wasn't a self-care book, it wasn't even really a book about anything else, either. It was a memoir disguised as a community organizer manual disguised as a self-help book. I like the idea of a self-care club, which was kind of touched on early in the book, so it gets 2 stars instead of 1.

[Jennifer Hubbs · Rating 5 out of 5]

What do you think you'll find when you open a caterpillar's cocoon?
You won't find a half-formed caterpillar-to-butterfly. In Sit Down to Rise Up, I learned that caterpillars have a "hidden" transformation, where they break down into goo of themselves and then reform into what they're supposed to become. I learned that caterpillars show up and trust that even though they're going into this cocoon, they trust that their process of transformation will bring them from goo into a whole butterfly..(with the same DNA as before)

In her book, Shelly Tygielski uses this example, along with many other intriguing stories, to help explain what it can look like to show up for ourselves in a moment to moment transition of who we were and who we are growing to be. Society doesn't show us the dirty parts from a moment to moment span. The most we get is a "blooper reel" - Shelly does a fantastic job at breaking down the dark, scary, hopeless moments when we literally have no idea what could possibly happen next. For me, this is the most impactful, considering the state of our world today.

Also, if you have ADHD, I still recommend trying to read this book, even if you have to use some...chunking 😄 (also something Shelly talks about)

Each page has the opportunity to plant a seed in all of us. This book has already impacted me in the almost 2 times I have read it in ways I can't wait to see how they come out. I think I am currently in my cocoon, learning to trust that as long as I keep doing what aligns with my values and what it means to show up for myself consistently and compassionately.

I hope you all enjoy it as much as I have.

[Tammera Richards · Rating 5 out of 5]

HIGHLY RECOMMEND!! A poignant memoir with real life applications for all who read it!!

This book is a reminder to all of us what we can achieve as a Community of Care, rather than as individuals living in isolation and struggling alone. In Shelly's book, she details her literal path out of darkness and into a life filled with love, value, and the tremendous support of a village she created from scratch. Throughout this book, Shelly shares her own struggles with perfectionism, never feeling "good enough," and wondering if anything would ever feel satisfying, all while raising a child as a single parent and dealing with chronic, progressive health issues. Rather than giving in to what might seem an inevitable future filled with darkness, constant pain, and suffering, Shelly turned that future on its head by embracing her circumstances, sitting with her discomfort and pain, and inviting others to support and be supported as a community. As a result, Pandemic of Love was born, and thousands of people were and continue to be uplifted by a collective love during one of the worst times in recent history. Humanness is at the core of what Shelly shares in this inspiring, hopeful and heartfelt memoir. I highly recommend this book!

[Aline · Rating 5 out of 5]

I honestly can't remember how I came upon Shelly Tygielski's IG page during the pandemic; all I know is that I saw a piece of me in her, and maybe everyone who is familiar with her does. Pandemic of Love was one of the very few good and positive things that I was exposed to at the time, when all of us in this world were spinning in a tornado of uncertainty. Her posts grounded me and reminded me of the good in this world... and this book is a beautiful extension of everything that she stands for and has accomplished so far.

Sit Down to Rise Up is an opportunity for quiet self-examination, deep introspection and maybe even an epiphany or two. Shelly redefines the concept of self-care, or rather gives it back its true meaning. Her book is a map that starts wherever you are in your life at this moment, as she leads you step by step towards where you need to be: in touch with yourself and the world around you, starting with your own community. It is a journey towards healing oneself first and foremost, about forming your own tribe, the importance of a support system and the pebbles we can each throw to create ripple effects and therefore change in this world. And while I was a bit worried with the short-yet-powerful political infusions (which I completely agree with btw), I know she used them for the purpose of elucidating some points and believe that everyone - regardless of their political views -will truly enjoy and benefit from this transformational book.

"If only for today" is my favorite quote and I will use it as part of my mantra every day going forward. Mind you, I am only starting a mantra now, thanks to Shelly!

[Andrew Villamil · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book really boils down to one word. ACTION. And really that answers deep questions about how we can learn to be the people that "show up" for those who need it. Shelly through her really straight forward words, breaks down all the "stuff" that a lot of self-help books tend to dive into, and focuses into the deep important foray of change that the World needs! And it involves consistency and moving beyond what we think "Self-Care" is, it's really about collective care, because ultimately we are the ones who benefit when the communities around us, and the people around us thrive, and in turn, so can we!

This book is a gamechanger, the more you learn about yourself the more you learn about the social change we need! This book is written in such a way, you can finish it in a couple days, and I didn't want to put it down! If you're feeling stuck, or you're looking for answers about how you can make a difference in your life and those around you, THIS IS THE BOOK TO BUY! Seriously! 5 stars all the way! I can't wait to see what else Shelly has in store for the World! This is a MUST get for yourself and for those that don't know how much they need you until you show them! The time for change was yesterday! The next best time is now! I cannot recommend this book enough!

[Gerri · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a must-read for anyone who feels challenged with the concept of self-care. In bravely sharing her personal story, Shelly shows us how the act of radical self-care can mobilize us to be at our best in even the most challenging of circumstances - how the insight we glean from tending to our own needs creates a sense of connection to the suffering of others around us. If we nurture these connections - if we show up - we create a natural jumping-off point for building communities of care that can support each other through the ups and downs that each of us inevitably face in life.

Not everyone has to make the big changes Shelly has, nor be the force of nature she is, to make a difference. She reminds us all of the power of the ripple effect of showing up in small ways for someone else, and that it all starts within each of us. In a culture of unconsciously striving for more and working ourselves ragged, Sit Down to Rise Up is a calling to add some stillness and intention into the choices we make each day.

[Jesse Ehrlich · Rating 5 out of 5]

This remarkable book can be appreciated on so many levels. First, it’s the story of a single mom who must find a way to raise her son after receiving devastating news about her own health.
Ms. Tygielski shares the practical steps she discovered, often through trial and error, which allowed her to recapture her own life and turn her attention to helping others. It’s also the story of the global organization that she founded in early 2020—Pandemic of Love—which to date has matched over 1.7 million donors with those in need due to the COVID-19 pandemic. Ms. Tygielski writes with humility, compassion and humor, and this book should be of interest to anyone who wonders if there’s anything that “ordinary” people can do to combat the feelings of hopelessness and division that increasingly seem to be a part of modern life. Highly recommended!

[Diana · Rating 5 out of 5]

Shelly Tygielski is the cheerleader and self-advocate in your corner. Her inspirational memoir, Sit Down to Rise Up, guides us with love through essential self-care, which can blossom and build a community of care that will help us change our world.

Shelly shares her secret of showing up, the foundation for life’s purpose. She tells of her struggles and challenges and how she is an unlikely meditator. If you are feeling lost or in the dark, Shelley has literally been there. Her stories and struggles provide seeds of wisdom that help us to connect and to cultivate a community that will help us with our own self-care. I want to find more joy in my life and this book has helped me get there. Sit Down to Rise Up, has helped me zero in on what I need now and not be afraid to ask for help and create a community of care. She explains how the mutual aid idea of Pandemic of Love began and how we can rise up and help ourselves heal from trauma.

I’m so glad I chose the audiobook because listening to Shelly felt like a caring sister and friend was talking to me. This book is the medicine and inspiration I needed to focus on my self-care.

[Jenny Schaffer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am very grateful for this book. As my journey has unfolded, I have come to understand the world in new ways. Connection is everything but society is so often set up to tell us the opposite. This is unsustainable and we can see how it is manifesting in the world with the environment, racism, and so many other examples. Shelly presents a very clear, relatable, and compelling guidepost for new ways to be in this world that centers our connections. She gives a real and tangible path for healing both ourselves and our community through mutual aid. I am very excited about her ideas of how we can show up in this world. This book offers ideas that will change the world. Thank you Shelly!

[Meg Murray · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've been sitting with this book for some time now. Reading it, re-reading it and really soaking it in.

Shelly Tygielski' "Sit Down to Rise Up: How Radical Self-Care Can Change the World" is a must read for well...basically everyone.

In a society that has historically prided itself on busyness over impact there is no time like the present to take a deep breath and realign with yourself, your values , your intentions and community .

Highly recommended reading for all, especially those in leadership and those who are looking to be more impactful in their work and life.

[Liz Lem · Rating 3 out of 5]

I saw Shelly Tygielski interviewed and then started seeing her quoted and felt that I better check this book out of the library.
She has a very interesting background and is obviously very accomplished. She presented some old teachings in a new light. Examples: radical acceptance and loving kindness.
“Enough is a feast” is a brilliant motto!
The 3 star rating is because it felt like too much work and I am avoiding any attempt at over-achieving. And because I started losing attention in part two.

[Chris Kocher · Rating 5 out of 5]

Shelly's story is incredibly powerful and she shares her powerful life journey through self-care and advocacy. She shares her own self-care practice and how she has elevated self-care in our own community to make a difference in thousands of lives all across the world. Most important, she inspires each of us to remember that self-care is an act of selflessness that allows to show up for those we care about in new and important ways. Such a powerful lesson straight from the heart.

[Mariana · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed reading this book. I also suggest the audible version.
The awareness and importance of showing up for ourselves and others is a powerful way to live, and definitely a way that I want to live my life.
I was immersed in Shelly’s personal stories and the whole book.
The concept of community of care is something I would like to create among my yoga students.
I definitely recommend the book!

[Samantha Quintell-Lenzi · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book had so many beautiful human moments that were shared in such an intricate articulate way it is heartwarming. It’s personal, and it’s universal. Shelly’s perspective is unique and specific in her upbringing and experience and yet it is relatable and accessible to those who don’t share her identity or experience. I so appreciated her perspective and the ground work she lays for mutual aid.

[Lisa Piotrowski · Rating 5 out of 5]

True divine timing with this book. Shelly is the kindest bad-ass I have ever known. She is truly authentic and a rising star I would follow anywhere!
So far, I have purchased my own copy and have gifted two copies of this book. My greatest wish is that every person I care about would read Chapter 2.
It is an honor to gift this book.

[Nate]

Shelly Tygielski has written a beautiful book that read like a novel, but provides specific steps for readers to unlock their own potential to really make meaningful changes in their own lives and their communities. I couldn’t put it down. It is a book I will give as a gift and reread many times.

[Terri Davis · Rating 4 out of 5]

While the book is full of good information, the title can lead someone to believe it is completely focused on self-care, which it is not. In fact, the majority of the book focuses on communal care. It’s a great idea, and one I would like to see catch on globally.

[Rob Chilton · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is great. It’s what we need to be talking about today. It’s what we need to teach our children.
A must read for humans!

[Stephanie Schuett · Rating 5 out of 5]

So good!!! A must-read for anyone wanting to continually grow themselves while also making a difference in their community and in turn, the world.

[Shannon Warto · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is inspiring and empowering. Giving a broader definition of self-care that is tangible and achievable through the art of asking for help, offering help, and knowing that no one is alone.