In a world nearly identical to ours, the North won the Civil War, flannel is the new bling, and Russia never sold Alaska to the U.S. Instead, Alaska is a beautiful, rough-and-tumble country ruled by a famously eccentric royal family who put the fun back in dysfunctional. And the tabloid darlings are about to get more ink once the King's "royal oats" come back in the form of a surprise princess, landing them all in, well. . . The Royal Mess
Jeffrey Rodinov is descended from one of the oldest families in Alaska, and a Rodinov has been protecting a Baranov for generations. It's a job Jeffrey takes VERY seriously. Six feet four inches, 220 fatless lbs., black hair, and blue eyes;weapon of choice: the 9 mm Beretta. In a pinch? His fists. IQ: 157. (Yes, crossword puzzle, in ink, just after taking out the guy behind you. No thanks necessary.) No one ever sees Jeffrey Rodinov coming, and no one--not even a mouthy, illegitimate princess--is going to keep him from playing bodyguard when his king decrees it.
Right. But no Rodinov ever had to protect Princess Nicole Krenski. Her credentials? Hunting guide in the Alaskan wilderness. Smart. Stubborn bordering on exasperating. Five-seven. Blue eyes. Very kissable mouth. Very kissable neck, back, legs, wrists, earlobes. The lady says she doesn't need a bodyguard, but that's where she's wrong. Someone needs to watch her and show her the royal ropes (and cuffs. . .and scarves. . .). Someone who can make her feel like a queen--in and out of bed. And that's a job Jeffrey Rodinov takes very seriously as well. . .
In this deliciously sexy, wickedly funny companion to The Royal Treatment and The Royal Pain, a reluctant princess and a determined royal bodyguard are about to discover that when it comes to powerful love, there are no defenses. . .
MaryJanice Davidson is an American author and motivational speaker who writes mostly paranormal romance, but also young adult and non-fiction. She is the creator of the popular UNDEAD series and the time-traveling historical fiction A CONTEMPORARY ASSHAT AT THE COURT OF HENRY VIII. MaryJanice is a New York Times and USA Today best-selling author who writes a bi-weekly column for USA Today and lives in St. Paul with her family. You can reach her on Facebook and follow her on Twitter.
For some reason, I really disliked book 2 in this trilogy (The Royal Pain), but I enjoyed this one. Didn't laugh in book 2, but the humor returned for me with this potion of the story. I also liked the heroine better and appreciated more interaction with the royal family. In that respect, it was closer in feel to book 1, and I believe that is why I found the story to be funny again.
The first book of the series is still my favourite. This one wasn't about any of the royal family members mentioned in the first two. I was a little disappointed. Nicole turns out to be King AL's first born although illegitimate daughter. Knocking Prince David out of the running as Crown Prince. I love the character Chris from the first book but in this one she was very cartoonish which I didn't like. Alex and Shel are only briefly mentioned. It was still funny, and sexy but didn't have the oomph the first one did.
2022 bk 20. the last of the series, King Al is surrounded by problems. His biography asks tough questions and despite being fired multiple times - keeps coming back. A letter that bypasses Edmund shocks the King so much that his reaction results in his bodyguard coming through a door to his rescue, and the press keep covering Nicky when he is supposed to be off limits. The letter - from a young woman who said her mother's dying wish was to inform King Al that he had another daughter, on conceived before Prince David. Nicole Krensky really didn't want to be a royal, she was happy as a fishing guide, but the palace wants to bring her into the fold and Jeffrey, the bodyguard, wants to make this happen. This is a fun book about family and what makes someone a member of a family.
This is the MJD style I remember fondly. Cute, sweet, ridiculous stories that make me laugh. And make me want to punch someone.
MJD has two character templates: dry, droll, long-suffering figures balanced against loud, outrageous, good-hearted-yet-violent ones. It's a formula that deprives some characters of individuality. But when all you're seeking is endearing popcorn fun, that aspect doesn't really matter.
It also makes it much easier to dive back into a series - whether it's been a few months or, in this case, several years.
The last of the Alaskan Royal Family trilogy, The Royal Mess throws us into pure chaos. An illegitimate princess has come to light. There are punches thrown, guns drawn, and heart attacks narrowly avoided. Every bit of it was enjoyable.
No matter how much the Alaskan Royals bitch and moan and let projectiles fly, MJD makes it clear that they're really quite lovely. They're the most appallingly blunt and down-to-earth royals one could ever imagine. They treat their staff as family (gods help them). Jeffrey states that if anyone ever hurt him, his King would go after the culprit in a blaze of anger fuelled by devotion. And so Jeffrey feels comfortable doing the same. Another guard, Natalia, admits to herself, "They were a big, merry bunch of troublemakers, and they pulled everyone into their madness." She can't wait to see what they spring next; MJD makes the reader think the very same.
In the current drama, the royals completely skip the egocentric response. They opt instead for bombarding the bastard princess with enthusiasm. I was flipping fiercely from one amusing threat-filled scene to the next. Chapters consist of anything from one sentence to a few pages, keeping the action brisk. The pared-down storytelling works well for this whirlwind family. They're not the type to moon and moan, and though overbearing, their forceful personalities simply don't have the time to become grating.
The romance happens on fast-forward (popcorn book, remember). Yet MJD still fits in more than enough detail to round the couple out. Well-timed, thoughtful observations give them more depth and showcase the surrounding characters' good intentions. Sometimes they even inspire a sniffle or two. The sex scenes are eager and all too brief, yet somehow more realistic because of it.
As an aside, I'll admit that my over-thirty self found it comfortable and satisfying to read about mid-thirties Nicole. It's nice to confirm that not all women of Romancelandia need be twenty-four and holding.
There's a King Al side-story and it's hilarious. I only wish I remembered more of the history behind it; that might have bumped it up to side-splitting.
If you're seeking a light-hearted, ludicrous tale designed simply to make you smile, look no further. The Royal Mess is a marvelous way to lose yourself - and your worries - for a few breezy hours.
King Alexander, before he married Dara (and we never quite hear the full story - just the rumors and a few comments of the king), feeling under pressure to this arranged marriage, had a 2-week fling with an American bar maid - and they left amicably, and he married Dara... and 30 years later, when the bar maid died, she left in her will the information of Nicole father, and asked her to contact him - which she did via a letter.
Nicole was drawn to Alaska, and her fun job was with a fishing group, taking out people wanting to learn to fish... but she made money by rewriting scripts for hollywood.... and she is of the Baranov look - both in looks and in personality - tough, strong, funny, outspoken... she ignores Edmund's phone messages to come meet the king; and the king and his body guard Jeff show up on her doorstep... and she drives past them, and sneaks up on them, swiping Jeffrey's feet from under him and holding her gun on him... and she refuses to go to the palace with them... and then Jeff returns the next day, signed on for a fishing trip - and knows well how to fish... and there is attraction between them - but she still won't go back to the palace... and then they send Catherine - whogets in her face - and there's some swinging of fists... and the whole family shows up in the 20 minutes it takes Nicole to wake up... and then the next morning the news are storming the camp, to meet the bastart princess, so she decides to go to the palace...
and it is the family - crazy times... when jeffrey refuses tohave sex with her, she flirts with the olympic skier who is honored at a lunch - and Jeff 'takes' him down... and gets a week vacation.. Nicole goes to him (with the help of Nicholas), sneaking away from the palace... and in his home, he can treat her as a nicole, not a princess - and they have great sex... ahhhhh
and King Alexander has been in an uproar about Holly Bragon (sounds like Dragon) who is writing his biography - and after 3 years, and numerous firings decides to take the bull bythe horn and kisses the king... and, yeah, the kids are threatening to throw up...
and Jeff proposes to Nicole - she accepts his proposal - she abdicates the thrown to David (he's trained for it after all)... and she consoles the youngest and only blonde child Nicholas, when he arranges a blood test and confirms that Alexander is not his father - and Nicole assures him that King Al is fully his father and loves him no differently than any other of his children... ahhhh
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Unlike most alternate history I've read, the Royal Mess is not meant to be a serious exploration of how one event, changed, can affect the world. It's just meant to be fun. The premise is that Alaska rebelled against Russia and became an independent nation. And this reimagined Alaska is ruled by a loud-mouthed, eccentric, brash, and good-hearted royal family, now rocked by the news that the king has a bastard daughter (also loud-mouthed, eccentric, brash, and good-hearted) who is first in line for the throne.
Don't pick this one up expecting realism, emotional complexity, and character development. The royal family adjusts surprisingly easily to having a new crown princess. The romance seems forced: Princess and bodyguard fall in love and decide to get married just a matter of days after meeting. And everybody in the story is incredibly good-looking. But those aren't really criticisms; this book is not attempting to be "literary." It aims to be a light, funny, and easy read, and it succeeds.
I probably would have gotten more out of this if I'd read the first two books in the trilogy first; still, I enjoyed my brief visit to the Kingdom of Alaska.
This is the last or next to last book in a series, I can't say for sure as I ran into this book by accident. I thought that I had all of MaryJanice's books, but after finding this one, I guess I don't. Nicole's mother has just died and her last request was for Nicole to write to her biological father of that fact. Up to this point Nicole has never known who is was. She write the letter and then the "fun" begins. I really had to laugh on this one and think that Nicole really could really roll with the punches that life then throws at her. Her father is the King of Alaska, and she has half siblings to get to know and as the acknowledged OLDEST daughter of the King, Nicole now becomes the next in line for the throne - a role she definitely does not want. Go ahead & enjoy this book and be prepared to explain your laughter in the unexpected...
I liked the third (and purportedly final book) in Davidson's Alaskan royalty series. In this alternative reality (where Alaska is a country all its own) King Al finds out that he has another child in the illegitimate Nicole Krenski. Nicole is reluctant to join the royal family but soon finds herself falling for her bodyguard Jeffrey. Davidson's books are always light and fluffy and so short and fast that your gasping for breath by the end of it. Nicole is the usual Davidson heroine--a variation on the foul-mouthed and shallow Betsy Taylor from her undead series. I'm kind of tired of how redundant her books have gotten but I'm glad I read this one as it was better than the second book in the trilogy.
This is another book in the series which deals with an alternative history, one where Alaska did not become a U.S. state but became a separate country.
A country with a King (the Queen is dead), and a whole bunch of Princesses and Princess.
Who are all pretty much bonkers. Start raving bonkers. And thoroughly delightful.
In this book in the series, it's revealed that, before the King had gotten married, he had fathered a child by another woman. A girl who is now the first in line for the throne.
That's Nicole, a young woman used to being on her own who runs fishing and hunting trips. And who now has to adjust to the life in the totally bonkers palace.
This is a thoroughly delightful, hilarious funny book, well worth reading.
What impressed me: I loved revisiting with the family and all their kooky ways. The Alaskan Royal family series is awesome with alternative history details and great humor, and The Royal Mess absolutely follows the trend.
What disappointed me: The Royal Mess isn't the end of the trilogy as much as a companion novel to the two previous books. It was disappointing to read about a romance between a new couple as opposed to someone already in the family.
Recommended: Yes, but you may want to read the previous two books first to really experience the details.
This is the second book I read by MJ Davidson and it will be my last. I also read "Really Unusual Bad Boys" -- it was a really unusually bad book.
The characters in The Royal Mess were stupid, rude, nasty, over the top. I had no idea how anyone could love anyone. The relationship between Princess Nicole and body guard Jeffrey could have been good, but it was never really developed. All of a sudden they were in love... how? when? and most of all, why???
There was a lot of cursing in the book and although it did not offend me, it was not necessary, over the top, and unbelievable. Also the King's "relationship" with "The Dragon" was so stupid.
Another great book in a series that I will be sad to see the end of. We continue in the series with Nicole who writes a letter to the king explaining that she is his daughter. I loved that we had lots of the funny comments that made the first two books great. I liked reading about Nicole and Jeffrey as they fell for each other. I loved this series and this book is my favourite book of the series. Definitely a book that I would recommend to others. Xxx
This is one of my least favourite books by MaryJanice Davidson. As much as I love her playful writing style, I found this book started to grate on my nerves. For example, use of extreme profanity loses its hilarity when every single character frequently swears like a trucker. It also loses its shock value, which is generally what makes swearing alone hilarious. Nevertheless, I’m still glad I finished this trilogy, and I can go back to rereading the Undead series <3.
I have not read any of the other books in this series but I don't think it affected my ability to enjoy this book. I would consider it a standalone. I really liked both MCs and the King and his quirky family. I found the book funny so I intend to go back and start at book 1.
Madcap, completely implausible, with characters who change their minds willy-nilly, but still a lot of fun. My second time reading this, so it can't be all bad.
2.5 stars I enjoyed the first book in the series but this one not so much. I did not read the second installment because it was not available through the library. Maybe I missed something that might have made this novel more enjoyable. The story focuses on an illegitimate Alaskan princess who joins the royal cast after finding out about her true heritage when her mother passes away. Of course she does not want to be a princess. She is also so horny I would guess the character was written by a 16 year old boy. The first novel had plenty of cussing and sex scenes, but I don't remember it feeling quite this cheap and pathetic. I found the new princess unlikable. I have no interest in reading another book about her. This book did not seem as clever and funny as the first one. Apparently, the concept ran its course and did not have enough momentum for 3 stories.
"so you're saying it is biologically possible." "you kidding? i was barely out of my teens. i could go all night in those days. and we did, believe me." "majesty, could you hand me that trash can? i'm feeling the uncontrollable urge to vomit blood."
"stop being such a damn guy and talk to me! tell me you're pissed, tell me you're sad, tell me you're thrilled to be off the hook. i dont give a shit, just speak." nothing. "SPEAK!" "arf." "i hate you."
This is very much a tying up loose ends book with the main story sharing space with several other royal happenings. That being said it weirdly works for this loud, messy and ever growing family. It’s a shame this is their final book because they really do get more ridiculous and entertaining with each book. Mess isn’t laugh out loud funny, but it’s amusing and silly and full of heart. There is sadly no actual igloos in this book despite what the cover may suggest.
The third of 3 novels in the wonderful, weird, and wacky world of the Alaskan Royals.
A peach of a book that goes down smooth and fast. In the 3rd Alaskan Royals Universe, this picks up two years after the 2nd (the Royal Pain). An illegitimate daughter of King Al comes to the fore, ousting the Crown Prince as their and fall in in love with the head of her security detail.
I finally got around to reading this series. I love all of this authors work. This family of characters are so much fun and interesting. I laughed so hard. And its unpredictable, which is perfect. But I want more! There are still family members she needs to write about! I loved all 3 books in this series.
Though I was hoping one of the Baranov boys would get their romance novel leading role, I was still happy with it being Jeffrey. Poor thing always taking care of everyone.
Quirky, cute, sexy, funny, and romantic - this is MJD at her best.
I enjoyed all of these books, the only problem I had with this one was that it seemed to just cut off kind of abruptly. I wish there were more books to talk about what happens with the wedding, pregnancies and other siblings.
When I began reading the story I was not impressed with the characters or story and was going to rate it 2 stars, but as I continued reading I began to like the characters and the story so much that that 2 star rating changed to a 4 star rating.