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Alaskan Royal Family #1
The Royal Treatment
In this delightful and dazzling erotic novel, MaryJanice Davidson creates an alternate contemporary world nearly identical to ours in which Russia never sold the Alaskan territory to the United States. Instead, Alaska has won its independence and established itself as a constitutional monarchy...and now, the King of Alaska badly needs a bride for his son and heir... The country of Alaska is as forbidding as it is beautiful. And the royal family is as rough-around-the-edges as they are coolly civilized. Other royal families may find them shocking, but after all, in this wilderness kingdom, being a crack shot and expert trapper is just as important as knowing your salad fork from your dessert fork. Unfortunately, when the rest of the royals find you mildly savage, marrying off your royal brood can be a royal pain. King Alexander II is desperate. Why, he'd settle for any girl. A commoner. An American, even! Stranded tourist Christina Krabbe is American, and a commoner, but she has zero interest in enduring a royal wedding, producing royal heirs, and becoming Queen of Alaska...until she gets a good look at Prince David. He may be a bit unruly--actually, the words untamed and slightly dangerous come to mind--but Christina's no delicate flower herself. And when His Highness discovers Christina can give as good as she gets, he's Prince Charmed, if not quite charming. But can a wild man Prince and a modern American girl make a life together? And will the palace still be standing when the dust clears?
288 pages, Paperback
First published February 28, 2002
151 people are currently reading
2482 people want to read
About the author
MaryJanice Davidson
142 books5,397 followersMaryJanice Davidson is an American author and motivational speaker who writes mostly paranormal romance, but also young adult and non-fiction. She is the creator of the popular UNDEAD series and the time-traveling historical fiction A CONTEMPORARY ASSHAT AT THE COURT OF HENRY VIII. MaryJanice is a New York Times and USA Today best-selling author who writes a bi-weekly column for USA Today and lives in St. Paul with her family. You can reach her on Facebook and follow her on Twitter.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 331 reviews
March 3, 2020
This review was originally posted on Books of My Heart
Review copy was received from Publisher. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review.
3.5 Hearts
If you were looking for something with serious royal drama and intrigue The Royal Treatment is not for you. But, if you just need something light, full of snark and sass, this could be a great read.
The Royal Treatment is the first book in the Alaskan Royal Family series. In an alternate reality where most of the history is the same, except Alaska was never sold to the U.S. and it ended up its own monarchy; hilarity ensues when a headstrong American catches the eye of the king. Thing is, he isn’t interested in her for himself, nope he’d rather play matchmaker and set her up with his son.
Christina is crass, snarky and unapologetically herself at all times. When she meets a disguised king and gives him an earful, he is sure she is the perfect match for his first in line to the throne son. Since this is Alaska, they do what they want and he is ready to make it happen. David, the aforementioned son and price, doesn’t really care who he marries. This should be easy to woo and marry Christina…right? Doesn’t every American girl dream of marrying a prince?
This really was a light and fluffy funny story. I enjoyed the snark and lightheartedness that was present throughout the book. If there was one issue I had, it would have been that it might have needed just a smidgen of a push into the more dramatic but it isn’t really that kind of tale. The book blurb mentions this is an erotic novel and there is sex in it but I really wouldn’t push it all the way over to be in the erotic genre.
The Royal family was a bit of a hoot and the King was a crack up. I really liked that Christina didn’t ever get flustered by being surrounded by royalty and was able to keep her sense of humor and stay so down to earth.
After your next deep and heart wrenching read, this could be a good pallet cleanser to fluff up your happy feelings back up.
Narration:
Piper Goodeve did a great job capturing the sass and snark of this book. She was able to give each character a voice and made Christina a girl I'd totally love to hang out with in the real world. I listened to this at my usual 1.5 speed.
Listen to a clip: HERE
Review copy was received from Publisher. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review.
3.5 Hearts
If you were looking for something with serious royal drama and intrigue The Royal Treatment is not for you. But, if you just need something light, full of snark and sass, this could be a great read.
The Royal Treatment is the first book in the Alaskan Royal Family series. In an alternate reality where most of the history is the same, except Alaska was never sold to the U.S. and it ended up its own monarchy; hilarity ensues when a headstrong American catches the eye of the king. Thing is, he isn’t interested in her for himself, nope he’d rather play matchmaker and set her up with his son.
Christina is crass, snarky and unapologetically herself at all times. When she meets a disguised king and gives him an earful, he is sure she is the perfect match for his first in line to the throne son. Since this is Alaska, they do what they want and he is ready to make it happen. David, the aforementioned son and price, doesn’t really care who he marries. This should be easy to woo and marry Christina…right? Doesn’t every American girl dream of marrying a prince?
This really was a light and fluffy funny story. I enjoyed the snark and lightheartedness that was present throughout the book. If there was one issue I had, it would have been that it might have needed just a smidgen of a push into the more dramatic but it isn’t really that kind of tale. The book blurb mentions this is an erotic novel and there is sex in it but I really wouldn’t push it all the way over to be in the erotic genre.
The Royal family was a bit of a hoot and the King was a crack up. I really liked that Christina didn’t ever get flustered by being surrounded by royalty and was able to keep her sense of humor and stay so down to earth.
After your next deep and heart wrenching read, this could be a good pallet cleanser to fluff up your happy feelings back up.
Narration:
Piper Goodeve did a great job capturing the sass and snark of this book. She was able to give each character a voice and made Christina a girl I'd totally love to hang out with in the real world. I listened to this at my usual 1.5 speed.
Listen to a clip: HERE
January 15, 2021
A funny predictable read, light hearted royal romance.
February 4, 2012
Hysterically funny read! If you're looking for The Thornbirds or The Tudors - don't stop here. This is a book for those of us who worship at the altar of snarky dialogue. And for those who love a heroine so far south of Cinderella that she wouldn't have gone to the ball unless she was really bored or wanted to check out the appetizers. And a hero who's perfectly OK with marrying whoever Dad picked out and doing his best to produce an heir - when he's not busy with his studies on penguins, of course. Is he surprised when she says no...
“Why won’t you marry me?” he blurted, then smacked himself on the forehead.
“Whoa! Easy on the self-flagellation, there, dude.”
“I’m supposed to woo you,” he explained.
“Well, don’t waste the woo on me. Not that it’s not a really nice offer. Because it is!”
“So. Why won’t you?”
“Because, frankly, being queen sounds like a gigantic pain in the ass.”
“I offer you a country and you tell me it’s a pain in the ass?”
The basic setup is Alaska was never bought by the US so it seceded and set up its own monarchy. Now several generations later the royal family continues to be made up of intelligent but eccentric characters: such as the King who sneaks off to go fishing in disguise and Crown Prince David who knows that that he'll be king one day but is far more interested in using his Marine Biology degree studying penguins. Enter Christina, newly fired from a cruise ship where she was a cook for objecting to the head chef's advances. She is a no-nonsense American with down-to-earth values - who the King meets and decides she'll be just PERFECT for David. As the first step he talks her into visiting them at the Sitka Palace...
Cut to parts 2 & 3 - preparations and the royal wedding
Christina's comment: Getting married’s probably not so bad. It’s all the screwing around beforehand that gives you a migraine.
On the way to the wedding, Christina proceeds to run roughshod over dress designers, protocol officers, catering staff, wedding planners, and various wedding traditions to finally achieve a royal wedding without frou-frou, a wedding dress she could breathe in, shoes she could walk in, and a Crisco-free wedding cake.
And lastly, part 4 - if this was Cinderella it would be fade to black behind the 'And they lived happily ever after...' voiceover. But it isn't and things happen and the action gets intense...
Again, this is a funny book. In fact, it's a very funny book. Fun characters, intriguing setting and a plot that moves right along. Enjoy!
Alaskan Royal Family
1. The Royal Treatment
2. The Royal Pain
3. The Royal Mess
“Why won’t you marry me?” he blurted, then smacked himself on the forehead.
“Whoa! Easy on the self-flagellation, there, dude.”
“I’m supposed to woo you,” he explained.
“Well, don’t waste the woo on me. Not that it’s not a really nice offer. Because it is!”
“So. Why won’t you?”
“Because, frankly, being queen sounds like a gigantic pain in the ass.”
“I offer you a country and you tell me it’s a pain in the ass?”
The basic setup is Alaska was never bought by the US so it seceded and set up its own monarchy. Now several generations later the royal family continues to be made up of intelligent but eccentric characters: such as the King who sneaks off to go fishing in disguise and Crown Prince David who knows that that he'll be king one day but is far more interested in using his Marine Biology degree studying penguins. Enter Christina, newly fired from a cruise ship where she was a cook for objecting to the head chef's advances. She is a no-nonsense American with down-to-earth values - who the King meets and decides she'll be just PERFECT for David. As the first step he talks her into visiting them at the Sitka Palace...
Cut to parts 2 & 3 - preparations and the royal wedding
Christina's comment: Getting married’s probably not so bad. It’s all the screwing around beforehand that gives you a migraine.
On the way to the wedding, Christina proceeds to run roughshod over dress designers, protocol officers, catering staff, wedding planners, and various wedding traditions to finally achieve a royal wedding without frou-frou, a wedding dress she could breathe in, shoes she could walk in, and a Crisco-free wedding cake.
And lastly, part 4 - if this was Cinderella it would be fade to black behind the 'And they lived happily ever after...' voiceover. But it isn't and things happen and the action gets intense...
Again, this is a funny book. In fact, it's a very funny book. Fun characters, intriguing setting and a plot that moves right along. Enjoy!
Alaskan Royal Family
1. The Royal Treatment
2. The Royal Pain
3. The Royal Mess
June 15, 2011
I am really torn on how to rate this one. This is the first book I have read by the author. Interesting story - commoner marries into the Royal family. Alaska is a separate country and is ruled by a Royal family. The characters were good. I like the authors style of writing - witty conversations, one liners & zingers.
What made this book score a lower rating was the use of swear words. Now I can swear a blue streak with the best of them but I really felt the amount was way too much. I get the point about Christina being a normal person and marrying into a Royal family and showing the differences in how commoners are compared to royals. But seriously!! Calling someone a F*ckface to his face in a conversation just wasnt warranted. I just felt that there was too much and the timing was off. For that reason I rated this book much lower than I felt it could have earned.
Not sure I would ever rush out to get another one of her books. Her Undead series is one I was always on the look out for but now might not consider reading it if I come across it.
What made this book score a lower rating was the use of swear words. Now I can swear a blue streak with the best of them but I really felt the amount was way too much. I get the point about Christina being a normal person and marrying into a Royal family and showing the differences in how commoners are compared to royals. But seriously!! Calling someone a F*ckface to his face in a conversation just wasnt warranted. I just felt that there was too much and the timing was off. For that reason I rated this book much lower than I felt it could have earned.
Not sure I would ever rush out to get another one of her books. Her Undead series is one I was always on the look out for but now might not consider reading it if I come across it.
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September 11, 2025
*DNF'ed at page 107*
⋆౨ৎ《Now playing: There She Goes by The La's》˚⟡˖ ࣪
~°❀My Thoughts❀°~
So, because I DNF'ed this book, I (obviously) cannot state my opinion for the entire book, but I absolutely can, and will, for what I did read.
So, it sounded very intriguing, just like something I'd probably like to read, which is why I had picked it up from my library's Friends of the Library sale bookshelf, and from then on out, it all went downhill.
It started with the book apparently having two different blurbs. The one on the back of the book failed to add the part that said it was “erotic” (if it had, trust me, I never would have picked it up). 😑😑 I can confirm that it definitely is “erotic” please note that never in gazillion years would I on-purposely read the spicy scenes, so that makes the whole dilemma extra infuriating. (That fact also makes some of my decisions with this book extra questionable, but that's besides the point for now)
So, let's start with the main reason I DNFed this book; the spice.
•The first scene has enough suggestive sentences leading up to it that I was able to realize what was about to happen and skip it. I should have DNF'ed right then and there, but I mistakenly decided to persist on for a bit longer.
•The second spicy scene was pretty much the complete opposite of the first. We were thrown into pretty much the middle of them doing the thing in a small closet, all over the clothes, so there wasn't an easy way out of not reading any of it…. And later when they talked about it, they seemed proud of doing that… like, as far as I know, they never told anyone about it, or brought the clothes to be washed, so like, what if someone goes and wears one of the pieces of clothing they did it on?? 💀
•The third spicy scene was thankfully closed door, but when they did it they were in a kitchen… and she was in the middle of cooking…. 😑
And just to think, there must have been so many more scenes like those later on considering all of those took place all within the first 107 pages of the book… But even if there hadn't been any spice, it still most likely would have ended up being a DNF because of the writing being mediocre at best, the characters being all flat and majority of them also being annoying, the “romance” being instalove and lowkey wishy-washy along with it also being lowkey annoying too, and for the second biggest reason I DNFed this book; the high amount of times they took the Lord's name in vain… as a Christian it made me very uncomfortable and tbh, I seriously should have DNF'ed based on it alone.
But anyway, I did get something good out of this book, I guess. I learned to DNF after the first spicy scene no matter how much I think I can just “skip it”.... so yeah…. If it isn't obvious, I don’t recommend this book, especially not to Christians. And now goodbye for now while I go do some soul searching, regret life choices, and ask forgiveness from God for reading as much of this book as I did and not DNF'ing when I should have. 🫠🥲
⋆౨ৎ《There she goes》˚⟡˖ ࣪
~°❀Characters❀°~
Christina: She lowkey (really highkey though) drove me crazy because she definitely gave off “pick me”/”I'm not like other girls” vibes too much for my liking. She was pretty wishy-washy imo, too, along with offensive with things she says (although the people in the book weren't offended, they seriously should have been) and inconsiderate to others feelings a good bit of the time (most of the time). Didn't have much depth to her character either, but then again, none of the characters did. But yeah… anyway… she's not Princess Charm school material, iykwim. 😑
David: He wasn't too bad, although he definitely seemed very sheltered at times. Kind of bland, too. Typical secular fiction prince. Not terrible but not great either.
⋆౨ৎ《There she goes again》˚⟡˖ ࣪
~°❀Book Cover Rating❀°~
5/10 Three of those points are for the penguin. The other two are there because the cover isn't terrible, but the lady's legs are very concerning.
⋆౨ৎ《Chasing down my lane》˚⟡˖ ࣪
~°❀Content Warnings❀°~
(Warning! 🚨 Before you go any further, there is a chance that something I've said about the content will possibly be a bit spoilerish, so please proceed with caution! Also, if I missed any content, please let me know so I can add it!)
*Please take note that these content warnings only go up to the page I DNF’ed this book*
☆Trigger Warnings:
None that I'm aware of unless you count the on page spice.
☆Faith based/Christian:
A minister is shown on page for marriage counseling. The Lord's name is taken in vain many, many times.
☆Other Religious Content:
Mentions of the devil. One time a character is asked what possessed her to do something, and she replied with “The devil.”
☆Violence:
A man claims that a lady “attacked” him, but that's not true. Lots of threatening by many characters to do violence to other characters. Mentions of a car accident that happened years before the events in this book.
☆Sexual Content/Romance:
Open door spice scenes (detailed) (on pages 71-72 & 89-90), closed door scene (not very detailed) (on page 107); talks and remember things about sex (up to semi-detailed); kissing (up to almost detailed); noticing (up to semi-detailed); touching (up to detailed); mentions of affairs; mentions of marriage and getting married.
☆Magic:
None up to where I read, although I wouldn't think there would be any magic in this book.
☆Bad Language:
F*ck 8 times
D*mn 12 times
A** 11 times
Sh*t 27 times
H*ll 20 times
Bastard is said once.
☆LGBTQ+:
None up to where I read.
☆Drugs/Alcohol:
Many mentions of characters drinking alcohol.
No mentions of drugs that I know of.
⋆౨ৎ《And I just can't contain》˚⟡˖ ࣪
~°❀Other Notes❀°~
This is the first book in the Alaskan Royalty series by MaryJanice Davidson. As far as I can tell, the series must be read in order.
⋆౨ৎ《This feelin' that remains》˚⟡˖ ࣪
~°❀My Age Recommendation❀°~
18 years old and older due to the sexual content.
⋆౨ৎ《There she goes》˚⟡˖ ࣪
~°❀Will I Read the Rest of the Series/More from this Author?❀°~
I doubt I will, because although I have looked at a few of her other books, I no longer trust that she's a good author for me to read because I highly doubt any of her books are spice free.
⋆౨ৎ《There she goes again》˚⟡˖ ࣪
~❀Will I reread this book at some point in time?❀°~
Absolutely not. I mean, I couldn't even finish it, so why would I ever even think about reading it again??
⋆౨ৎ《There she goes》˚⟡˖ ࣪
⋆౨ৎ《Now playing: There She Goes by The La's》˚⟡˖ ࣪
~°❀My Thoughts❀°~
So, because I DNF'ed this book, I (obviously) cannot state my opinion for the entire book, but I absolutely can, and will, for what I did read.
So, it sounded very intriguing, just like something I'd probably like to read, which is why I had picked it up from my library's Friends of the Library sale bookshelf, and from then on out, it all went downhill.
It started with the book apparently having two different blurbs. The one on the back of the book failed to add the part that said it was “erotic” (if it had, trust me, I never would have picked it up). 😑😑 I can confirm that it definitely is “erotic” please note that never in gazillion years would I on-purposely read the spicy scenes, so that makes the whole dilemma extra infuriating. (That fact also makes some of my decisions with this book extra questionable, but that's besides the point for now)
So, let's start with the main reason I DNFed this book; the spice.
•The first scene has enough suggestive sentences leading up to it that I was able to realize what was about to happen and skip it. I should have DNF'ed right then and there, but I mistakenly decided to persist on for a bit longer.
•The second spicy scene was pretty much the complete opposite of the first. We were thrown into pretty much the middle of them doing the thing in a small closet, all over the clothes, so there wasn't an easy way out of not reading any of it…. And later when they talked about it, they seemed proud of doing that… like, as far as I know, they never told anyone about it, or brought the clothes to be washed, so like, what if someone goes and wears one of the pieces of clothing they did it on?? 💀
•The third spicy scene was thankfully closed door, but when they did it they were in a kitchen… and she was in the middle of cooking…. 😑
And just to think, there must have been so many more scenes like those later on considering all of those took place all within the first 107 pages of the book… But even if there hadn't been any spice, it still most likely would have ended up being a DNF because of the writing being mediocre at best, the characters being all flat and majority of them also being annoying, the “romance” being instalove and lowkey wishy-washy along with it also being lowkey annoying too, and for the second biggest reason I DNFed this book; the high amount of times they took the Lord's name in vain… as a Christian it made me very uncomfortable and tbh, I seriously should have DNF'ed based on it alone.
But anyway, I did get something good out of this book, I guess. I learned to DNF after the first spicy scene no matter how much I think I can just “skip it”.... so yeah…. If it isn't obvious, I don’t recommend this book, especially not to Christians. And now goodbye for now while I go do some soul searching, regret life choices, and ask forgiveness from God for reading as much of this book as I did and not DNF'ing when I should have. 🫠🥲
⋆౨ৎ《There she goes》˚⟡˖ ࣪
~°❀Characters❀°~
Christina: She lowkey (really highkey though) drove me crazy because she definitely gave off “pick me”/”I'm not like other girls” vibes too much for my liking. She was pretty wishy-washy imo, too, along with offensive with things she says (although the people in the book weren't offended, they seriously should have been) and inconsiderate to others feelings a good bit of the time (most of the time). Didn't have much depth to her character either, but then again, none of the characters did. But yeah… anyway… she's not Princess Charm school material, iykwim. 😑
David: He wasn't too bad, although he definitely seemed very sheltered at times. Kind of bland, too. Typical secular fiction prince. Not terrible but not great either.
⋆౨ৎ《There she goes again》˚⟡˖ ࣪
~°❀Book Cover Rating❀°~
5/10 Three of those points are for the penguin. The other two are there because the cover isn't terrible, but the lady's legs are very concerning.
⋆౨ৎ《Chasing down my lane》˚⟡˖ ࣪
~°❀Content Warnings❀°~
(Warning! 🚨 Before you go any further, there is a chance that something I've said about the content will possibly be a bit spoilerish, so please proceed with caution! Also, if I missed any content, please let me know so I can add it!)
*Please take note that these content warnings only go up to the page I DNF’ed this book*
☆Trigger Warnings:
None that I'm aware of unless you count the on page spice.
☆Faith based/Christian:
A minister is shown on page for marriage counseling. The Lord's name is taken in vain many, many times.
☆Other Religious Content:
Mentions of the devil. One time a character is asked what possessed her to do something, and she replied with “The devil.”
☆Violence:
A man claims that a lady “attacked” him, but that's not true. Lots of threatening by many characters to do violence to other characters. Mentions of a car accident that happened years before the events in this book.
☆Sexual Content/Romance:
Open door spice scenes (detailed) (on pages 71-72 & 89-90), closed door scene (not very detailed) (on page 107); talks and remember things about sex (up to semi-detailed); kissing (up to almost detailed); noticing (up to semi-detailed); touching (up to detailed); mentions of affairs; mentions of marriage and getting married.
☆Magic:
None up to where I read, although I wouldn't think there would be any magic in this book.
☆Bad Language:
F*ck 8 times
D*mn 12 times
A** 11 times
Sh*t 27 times
H*ll 20 times
Bastard is said once.
☆LGBTQ+:
None up to where I read.
☆Drugs/Alcohol:
Many mentions of characters drinking alcohol.
No mentions of drugs that I know of.
⋆౨ৎ《And I just can't contain》˚⟡˖ ࣪
~°❀Other Notes❀°~
This is the first book in the Alaskan Royalty series by MaryJanice Davidson. As far as I can tell, the series must be read in order.
⋆౨ৎ《This feelin' that remains》˚⟡˖ ࣪
~°❀My Age Recommendation❀°~
18 years old and older due to the sexual content.
⋆౨ৎ《There she goes》˚⟡˖ ࣪
~°❀Will I Read the Rest of the Series/More from this Author?❀°~
I doubt I will, because although I have looked at a few of her other books, I no longer trust that she's a good author for me to read because I highly doubt any of her books are spice free.
⋆౨ৎ《There she goes again》˚⟡˖ ࣪
~❀Will I reread this book at some point in time?❀°~
Absolutely not. I mean, I couldn't even finish it, so why would I ever even think about reading it again??
⋆౨ৎ《There she goes》˚⟡˖ ࣪
April 21, 2021
1 Star
*One of the most unpleasant “heroines” I have ever read – and that’s probably all you need to know*
But here is the rest anyway:
I continue to work through my TBR backlog. The Royal Treatment looked fun. I don’t remember when I added it to my list, but it seemed like a good in-between, light read. However, I didn't realize until after I started that this book was by the same author as the Undead and Unwed series. If I'd realized that, I probably would have passed. I read the first two of that series. While they fulfilled the entertaining brain candy category, I had issues with some of the content - particularly issues of consent - and stopped reading them because of that. Although, come to think of it, the main character of that series was also awful. But I’m getting ahead of myself.
This story had quite possibly the oddest Alternative History I've read. I'm not sure what the point was. In this reality, Alaska was never purchased by the United States. Alaska then rebelled against Russia, became their own country, and for some reason decided to institute Kings instead of Czars. Probably because the author was worried about the target audience not knowing what a Czar was. Anyway, the result was a delusionally utopic land where everyone is prosperous and happy and all the messy parts of history were conveniently fixed. The indigenous people were given lots of rights and money yet are completely absent from the story. All the commoners were thrilled with their constitutional monarchy and the quirky royal family who were, of course, hard-working and down-to-Earth despite being ridiculously rich and royal.
Despite the silliness (or rather: absurdity) of the story, I started it optimistically. There were a few witty remarks. (As the story went on, Edmund's dry remarks ended up being the only thing I liked about the book.) I wasn’t expecting some great literary treatise. The bar for my expectations was set pretty low at “entertaining romance.” But The Royal Treatment had its own set of issues. Well, mostly one issue in particular: the main character was a Grade A Bitch. And I don't use that word lightly.
Christina was entirely unlikable. She waltzed in, acted like such a victim about being invited to live at the palace, and spent the entire book whining about literally everything! Who wants a Cinderella story with a main character who acts more like an egotistical reality tv star diva? Not me!
To make it more annoying, everyone kept fawning over how amazing a queen she was going to make. I wanted to shake them and yell, "WHY???" There was not a single moment when Chris displayed competency at anything. The excuse given was that her extreme honesty would make her a no nonsense ruler.
Yes, the king has spoken. And that’s that. So after one chance meeting, the king decided that Christina needed to marry the crown prince David. And they both went along with it because of a pathological lack of spinal cords. Or something like that. Proceed with the unbelievable, passionless, unsustainable relationship – by royal degree nonetheless.
But there is a monumental difference between being forthright and being the aforementioned bitch. And frankly Chris was a really nasty person who constantly took her own insecurities out on those around her. And usually the employees were the ones bearing the brunt of her bullying. Because honestly, she was just a bully.
And by the way, when she did get her cocktail sauce, she replied, “Was that so damned hard?”
That is NOT acceptable behavior! Who the hell acts like that when they are invited to someone’s home? Regardless of them being royal or not. And this is the scene where she first met her “love interest” and the rest of his family. While they sat there trying to have a nice family dinner, she threw a temper tantrum over freaking cocktail sauce. Anyone would think she was the spoiled princess. Because she certainly acted like a delusional diva the whole time. And then she added insult to injury by constantly telling the family how weird they were and criticizing everything they did. There were countless examples of Christina demeaning everyone around her. She purposefully called servants by the wrong name and interfered with them trying to do their jobs. She insulted David’s career (marine biology) and was always debasing his interests and hobbies. And yet, despite all of that, all anyone could say was how amazing she was! Yuck!
The love interest, David, was ok but frankly lacking in personality. He was kind of... There. And the sex just... Happened? There was no chemistry and no buildup of sexual tension. Even if Christina hadn’t been the narcissistic mutant spawn of Mariah Carey and Joffrey Baratheon, I still wouldn’t have believed they had chemistry. Basically they both said things along the lines of, "We should definitely taste the milk since we're buying the cow. Let's go ahead and have sex since we're getting married." And the whole thing had such a transactional feeling to it that I'm surprised someone didn't end up with a bill afterwards. There wasn’t a single steamy moment in this book.
For context, in that scene, David interrupted her lunch, and just starts groping her and tearing her clothing off. That just isn't sexy. Not to me anyway. Especially when their chemistry was so nonexistent. So all of the “romantic” scenes are just random sex that occurs. This was NOT the “delightful and dazzling erotic novel” that was advertised! Even my imagination isn’t strong enough to make that stretch.
There were a couple of little subplots that popped up, but they felt more like red herrings than true plots. They ended up being tiny blips on the radar. And those blips turned out to be herring farts, not Russian submarines. (By the way, search "herring farts submarine Sweden" for an amusing real-life incident. Sometimes life is stranger than fiction!)
I just can't get over how unlikable the main character was. Between that, the fact that the main character in her other series was almost as despicable, and the consent issues, MaryJanice Davidson is going on my Do Not Read list.
And now, onto to (hopefully) better books while I try to forget that I ever read this one.
RATING FACTORS:
Ease of Reading: 2 Stars
Writing Style: 1 Star
Characters and Character Development: 1 Star
Plot Structure and Development: 1 Star
Level of Captivation: 1 Star
Originality: 1 Star
*One of the most unpleasant “heroines” I have ever read – and that’s probably all you need to know*
But here is the rest anyway:
I continue to work through my TBR backlog. The Royal Treatment looked fun. I don’t remember when I added it to my list, but it seemed like a good in-between, light read. However, I didn't realize until after I started that this book was by the same author as the Undead and Unwed series. If I'd realized that, I probably would have passed. I read the first two of that series. While they fulfilled the entertaining brain candy category, I had issues with some of the content - particularly issues of consent - and stopped reading them because of that. Although, come to think of it, the main character of that series was also awful. But I’m getting ahead of myself.
This story had quite possibly the oddest Alternative History I've read. I'm not sure what the point was. In this reality, Alaska was never purchased by the United States. Alaska then rebelled against Russia, became their own country, and for some reason decided to institute Kings instead of Czars. Probably because the author was worried about the target audience not knowing what a Czar was. Anyway, the result was a delusionally utopic land where everyone is prosperous and happy and all the messy parts of history were conveniently fixed. The indigenous people were given lots of rights and money yet are completely absent from the story. All the commoners were thrilled with their constitutional monarchy and the quirky royal family who were, of course, hard-working and down-to-Earth despite being ridiculously rich and royal.
Despite the silliness (or rather: absurdity) of the story, I started it optimistically. There were a few witty remarks. (As the story went on, Edmund's dry remarks ended up being the only thing I liked about the book.) I wasn’t expecting some great literary treatise. The bar for my expectations was set pretty low at “entertaining romance.” But The Royal Treatment had its own set of issues. Well, mostly one issue in particular: the main character was a Grade A Bitch. And I don't use that word lightly.
Christina was entirely unlikable. She waltzed in, acted like such a victim about being invited to live at the palace, and spent the entire book whining about literally everything! Who wants a Cinderella story with a main character who acts more like an egotistical reality tv star diva? Not me!
To make it more annoying, everyone kept fawning over how amazing a queen she was going to make. I wanted to shake them and yell, "WHY???" There was not a single moment when Chris displayed competency at anything. The excuse given was that her extreme honesty would make her a no nonsense ruler.
“Christina’s got the goods. David doesn’t care. And I want them hitched. So that’s that.”
Yes, the king has spoken. And that’s that. So after one chance meeting, the king decided that Christina needed to marry the crown prince David. And they both went along with it because of a pathological lack of spinal cords. Or something like that. Proceed with the unbelievable, passionless, unsustainable relationship – by royal degree nonetheless.
But there is a monumental difference between being forthright and being the aforementioned bitch. And frankly Chris was a really nasty person who constantly took her own insecurities out on those around her. And usually the employees were the ones bearing the brunt of her bullying. Because honestly, she was just a bully.
“‘Umm… where’s the cocktail sauce?’ Christina whispered to Edmund, who had taken up his post by the window, four feet behind her.
Edmund leaned forward. ‘I beg your pardon, ma’am?’
‘The cocktail sauce,’ she said loudly and slowly, as if speaking to someone developmentally delayed. ‘For. The oysters.’
‘It comes with a vinaigrette,’ David explained. ‘Try it, I think—’
‘I think I’ll barf if I have to suck down raw oysters without cocktail sauce.’
[…]
‘Well, hell, my rights are being stomped on!’ said Christina.
[…]
‘I mean, Jesus, you guys are lucky I’m even willing to eat these things.’”
And by the way, when she did get her cocktail sauce, she replied, “Was that so damned hard?”
That is NOT acceptable behavior! Who the hell acts like that when they are invited to someone’s home? Regardless of them being royal or not. And this is the scene where she first met her “love interest” and the rest of his family. While they sat there trying to have a nice family dinner, she threw a temper tantrum over freaking cocktail sauce. Anyone would think she was the spoiled princess. Because she certainly acted like a delusional diva the whole time. And then she added insult to injury by constantly telling the family how weird they were and criticizing everything they did. There were countless examples of Christina demeaning everyone around her. She purposefully called servants by the wrong name and interfered with them trying to do their jobs. She insulted David’s career (marine biology) and was always debasing his interests and hobbies. And yet, despite all of that, all anyone could say was how amazing she was! Yuck!
The love interest, David, was ok but frankly lacking in personality. He was kind of... There. And the sex just... Happened? There was no chemistry and no buildup of sexual tension. Even if Christina hadn’t been the narcissistic mutant spawn of Mariah Carey and Joffrey Baratheon, I still wouldn’t have believed they had chemistry. Basically they both said things along the lines of, "We should definitely taste the milk since we're buying the cow. Let's go ahead and have sex since we're getting married." And the whole thing had such a transactional feeling to it that I'm surprised someone didn't end up with a bill afterwards. There wasn’t a single steamy moment in this book.
“‘Yeeek!’The plate went flying, her tomato slices parted ways with the bread, her chair slammed back onto the floor, her legs went over her head, and then he was nuzzling her neck and groping under her shirt. ‘Subtlety, thy name is not—that tickles!’ Her legs sticking up in the air as they were, it was difficult to get leverage to fend him off. Not that she entirely wanted to.”
For context, in that scene, David interrupted her lunch, and just starts groping her and tearing her clothing off. That just isn't sexy. Not to me anyway. Especially when their chemistry was so nonexistent. So all of the “romantic” scenes are just random sex that occurs. This was NOT the “delightful and dazzling erotic novel” that was advertised! Even my imagination isn’t strong enough to make that stretch.
There were a couple of little subplots that popped up, but they felt more like red herrings than true plots. They ended up being tiny blips on the radar. And those blips turned out to be herring farts, not Russian submarines. (By the way, search "herring farts submarine Sweden" for an amusing real-life incident. Sometimes life is stranger than fiction!)
I just can't get over how unlikable the main character was. Between that, the fact that the main character in her other series was almost as despicable, and the consent issues, MaryJanice Davidson is going on my Do Not Read list.
And now, onto to (hopefully) better books while I try to forget that I ever read this one.
RATING FACTORS:
Ease of Reading: 2 Stars
Writing Style: 1 Star
Characters and Character Development: 1 Star
Plot Structure and Development: 1 Star
Level of Captivation: 1 Star
Originality: 1 Star
July 14, 2015
The Royal Treatment is the first book In MaryJanice Davidson's Royal Series. I thought the book had it's moments but didn't find it laugh out loud funny. It was cute, and an easy read that was entertaining but it isn't a book I'll remember for long.
This book centers around Christina who was a chef on a cruise liner that was stopped in Alaska. When her boss groped her, she kneed him in the groin and quit. She takes her last $50 and goes fishing (not sure why) and meets the King of Alaska who is posing as the captain. He finds out she is out of money, no job or place to stay and invites her to stay at the palace since he thinks she would be a perfect match for his son Prince David. The King lets David know that he wants him to marry Christina and so David basically agrees since he looks at marriage as his duty. He meets Christina and is charmed by her and by the fact that she turns him down when he asks her to marry him. Christina is charmed by the royal family and she likes David so she gives in and the two are engaged. The couple then start to plan their wedding, go to premarital counseling, and sneak around to have sex (since they are constantly interrupted when they are in her room. But life is never that simple and David and Christina are faced with a big challenge as soon as they are married.
The book did have its moments. The royal family is truly charming and I thought the premise was interesting and cute. Christina however, was a little to rude to be funny for me. I think she was supposed to be charmingly blunt but it just didn't work for me. Everyone (the royal family, the press, her ex boyfriend, the staff) all fell in love with Christina immediately and whenever she was rude it was just "oh that's Christina". I would have liked to see her in a few tender moments as well, so we could see what everyone else saw in her. Christina and David bonded but it was done "behind the scenes". The author told us that David and Christina had heart to heart discussions about David's worries and fears but we didn't get to read about them. I would have liked to read these and see Christina supporting and encouraging instead of always snarky and sarcastic. It would be nice to see both sides.
Overall, I liked it. It was a quick, easy and entertaining read but not laugh out loud or even one I'll remember next month.
This book centers around Christina who was a chef on a cruise liner that was stopped in Alaska. When her boss groped her, she kneed him in the groin and quit. She takes her last $50 and goes fishing (not sure why) and meets the King of Alaska who is posing as the captain. He finds out she is out of money, no job or place to stay and invites her to stay at the palace since he thinks she would be a perfect match for his son Prince David. The King lets David know that he wants him to marry Christina and so David basically agrees since he looks at marriage as his duty. He meets Christina and is charmed by her and by the fact that she turns him down when he asks her to marry him. Christina is charmed by the royal family and she likes David so she gives in and the two are engaged. The couple then start to plan their wedding, go to premarital counseling, and sneak around to have sex (since they are constantly interrupted when they are in her room. But life is never that simple and David and Christina are faced with a big challenge as soon as they are married.
The book did have its moments. The royal family is truly charming and I thought the premise was interesting and cute. Christina however, was a little to rude to be funny for me. I think she was supposed to be charmingly blunt but it just didn't work for me. Everyone (the royal family, the press, her ex boyfriend, the staff) all fell in love with Christina immediately and whenever she was rude it was just "oh that's Christina". I would have liked to see her in a few tender moments as well, so we could see what everyone else saw in her. Christina and David bonded but it was done "behind the scenes". The author told us that David and Christina had heart to heart discussions about David's worries and fears but we didn't get to read about them. I would have liked to read these and see Christina supporting and encouraging instead of always snarky and sarcastic. It would be nice to see both sides.
Overall, I liked it. It was a quick, easy and entertaining read but not laugh out loud or even one I'll remember next month.
May 30, 2019
My cheeks hurt from smiling the whole time I read this. Hilariously ridiculous and fun.
I adored our MCs attitudes. They worked so well together - the nerdy prince David and the tactless American Christina. I think other authors have tried to do the "brash American woman gives high society heart palpitations with her outrageous behavior" plotline, but I have never really gotten into it. Mainly because I really do think Americans - both present and past - are fucking savages compared to the rest of the world, so I don't really find it amusing. However... I think that this alternate-reality Alaska is the one place in the world that Christina actually belongs. She fits in perfectly! David was adorable with his penguins and I liked how his sense of humor matched Christina's in wit, though not volume. And maybe not as laced with expletives. I loved alternate-reality Alaska and how the story was told with flashbacks from a diary. The secondary characters were wonderful, especially Edmund and Nicky. I read this straight through and was laughing nonstop.
I really did love this book. Unfortunately, I'm not sure the rest of the series is for me. I feel like Christina is one-of-a-kind and David has a special quirkiness I'm digging, so the two of them together is why I enjoyed the writing style. I don't think I could handle the same writing style with different characters. Like when I adore a secondary character, but I know I wouldn't want to read the book in which they are the main character.
I adored our MCs attitudes. They worked so well together - the nerdy prince David and the tactless American Christina. I think other authors have tried to do the "brash American woman gives high society heart palpitations with her outrageous behavior" plotline, but I have never really gotten into it. Mainly because I really do think Americans - both present and past - are fucking savages compared to the rest of the world, so I don't really find it amusing. However... I think that this alternate-reality Alaska is the one place in the world that Christina actually belongs. She fits in perfectly! David was adorable with his penguins and I liked how his sense of humor matched Christina's in wit, though not volume. And maybe not as laced with expletives. I loved alternate-reality Alaska and how the story was told with flashbacks from a diary. The secondary characters were wonderful, especially Edmund and Nicky. I read this straight through and was laughing nonstop.
I really did love this book. Unfortunately, I'm not sure the rest of the series is for me. I feel like Christina is one-of-a-kind and David has a special quirkiness I'm digging, so the two of them together is why I enjoyed the writing style. I don't think I could handle the same writing style with different characters. Like when I adore a secondary character, but I know I wouldn't want to read the book in which they are the main character.
June 16, 2012
I honestly want to give this five stars for sheer bonkersness, and no stars at all for plot. So it gets two stars for the penguins instead. It is absolutely nuts. I mean, in the first chapter the heroine meets a king and agrees to shack up with his son pretty much sight unseen - what the f?! Ok, yes, you get to be a queen eventually. But c'mon. Didn't we learn anything from Diana? The princessing gig in the modern world SUCKS and I can't see why on earth anyone would willingly go into it like Christina does here. It's just such an illogical premise. I kept expecting some ulterior motive or supernatural element (she kept mentioning his "cold fingers", so I was all set to find out he was a vampire or something), but no, it's just this mad dash into marriage. And bonking.
All that said: I did enjoy it. Having just finished the incredibly depressing and moving "We Need To Talk About Kevin" this was just the antidote I needed. It is silly, silly, silly. But it did make me laugh. The writer has some good craft in her phrasing and how she writes dialogue, but I do hope her plotting improves!
Penguins. Mmm.
All that said: I did enjoy it. Having just finished the incredibly depressing and moving "We Need To Talk About Kevin" this was just the antidote I needed. It is silly, silly, silly. But it did make me laugh. The writer has some good craft in her phrasing and how she writes dialogue, but I do hope her plotting improves!
Penguins. Mmm.
February 17, 2020
I thought this one was still funny, even after I've re-read it how many times.. The cast is eccentric and loveable, and you quickly grow attached to them.
August 30, 2017
What a clever, fantastic concept for a book! I loved Davidson's Fred the Mermaid series, but when I read about the storyline of this series I thought I might have stumbled upon something even better. Alaska practically could be its own country just based on how isolated it is from the rest of the states and how different the everyday life of its residents is. I was really interested to see what an Alaskan royal family would be like and how an American would cope becoming queen of such a different world.
Unfortunately, I was floored with how awful I found this book. I should've realized this book and I wouldn't mesh considering I got married in Cinderella's carriage at Disneyland and the main character bashes everything remotely princess including the use of a carriage in her wedding. Christina, our main character, is snarky, crude, and negative. It's one thing to make a spunky female but there is a fine line the author has to walk so that the character doesn't come off as annoying. However, every other character is one-dimensional and the romance between David and Christina is just not there. They get engaged after only having spoken a few lines of dialogue and then fall pretty easily in love in a matter of days. The whole idea of inviting a total stranger and foreigner into the royal palace who you've met for an hour and then hooking said stranger up with your first-born child and heir to your throne is just crazy and unrealistic. But that is the problem with this book. Everything is too rushed from the romance, to the layout of the background on Alaska and the characters. My reading experience was basically just one big eye roll.
There is always a chance I might not vibe with a book, but when the cover, concept, and my previous experience with the author's work are all positive that usually means my chances of enjoying the book are high. That's why I was shocked at how much I did not like this book. Davidson writes cute paranormal romance books but this series was not my cup of tea. If you want to try out some of her work, skip this series and try the Fred the Mermaid or the Undead series.
Unfortunately, I was floored with how awful I found this book. I should've realized this book and I wouldn't mesh considering I got married in Cinderella's carriage at Disneyland and the main character bashes everything remotely princess including the use of a carriage in her wedding. Christina, our main character, is snarky, crude, and negative. It's one thing to make a spunky female but there is a fine line the author has to walk so that the character doesn't come off as annoying. However, every other character is one-dimensional and the romance between David and Christina is just not there. They get engaged after only having spoken a few lines of dialogue and then fall pretty easily in love in a matter of days. The whole idea of inviting a total stranger and foreigner into the royal palace who you've met for an hour and then hooking said stranger up with your first-born child and heir to your throne is just crazy and unrealistic. But that is the problem with this book. Everything is too rushed from the romance, to the layout of the background on Alaska and the characters. My reading experience was basically just one big eye roll.
There is always a chance I might not vibe with a book, but when the cover, concept, and my previous experience with the author's work are all positive that usually means my chances of enjoying the book are high. That's why I was shocked at how much I did not like this book. Davidson writes cute paranormal romance books but this series was not my cup of tea. If you want to try out some of her work, skip this series and try the Fred the Mermaid or the Undead series.
Read
September 1, 2020DNF at 13.5%. The characters were too over the top and unrealistic for my taste. I felt like I was reading a kids book.
April 21, 2018
#50States50Romances #Alaska
I really enjoyed this one, but there were some sub-plots that either needed to be explored more or cut entirely.
I really enjoyed this one, but there were some sub-plots that either needed to be explored more or cut entirely.
September 12, 2020
Not as good as I remember it being but it was still exactly the right kind of trash that I needed in my life this week.
September 19, 2011
When I first started reading the book, I was hooked. I couldn't put the book down and I was so caught up in the humor, the banter, the conversations that the heroine had with the rest. But as I progressed on through the book, the book just didn't make sense any more. Sure, the humor was catchy, I laughed many times. But to me, there didn't seem to be any main point to the story. I dunno, it was just weird.
Ok the book started off really well. The intro was catchy and I liked the king and Christina, the heroine. One thing though, it totally isn't realistic. And I'm not talking about Alaska having a monarchy. I'm talking about how the king behaves. Its just weird you know. And he cusses a lot. I mean it. It just doesn't make much sense.
Hmm, I really enjoyed the wit and conversations between the people. Yes, it was rather weird, to see royal communicating so casually, but well, its a story! I laughed many times throughout reading the book. I did enjoy the scenes involving both the prince and Christina. But only the humor part. The romance part was, to me, not well thought out. I couldn't enjoy it. There was nothing to even suggest or hint they loved each other, not even any real jealousy when her ex came to visit. Except for a little bit, but that was more like a brotherly thing to do. Its actually one of the main reasons why I didn't love the book. I felt that the author shouldn't have just concentrated on the humor, but try to develop the characters more. From start to end, I never once felt that I understood the characters, and thus, I could not empathize with them.
To me, the book seemed more like a lighthearted read rather than a romance. I dunno, it's like suddenly he told her he loved her and she told him that. My mouth literally dropped. I couldn't understand it at all. Nothing in their behaviour towards each other would have made me guess that they really liked each other, let alone love. To me, they also lusted after each other. And this was another part I couldn't stand. Why was she so forthcoming? I was kinda shocked when she dragged him into some place and started having sex with him. It was just weird.
And I dunno, I felt that they did lust for each other but nothing even remotely close to love.
I just couldn't accept this as a romance. But if I take this as a comedy book, then I must say it was really very funny. Hmm, I didn't really like the vulgarities used by the characters. I'm normally alright with it if its used in moderation. But I felt that the author really put in too much of such things that they became unnecessary and plain weird.
All in all though, I did enjoy the book, though not so much of the romance. Though the book was rather weird as a whole, it did give me a good laugh and that makes it good in my book!
Ok the book started off really well. The intro was catchy and I liked the king and Christina, the heroine. One thing though, it totally isn't realistic. And I'm not talking about Alaska having a monarchy. I'm talking about how the king behaves. Its just weird you know. And he cusses a lot. I mean it. It just doesn't make much sense.
Hmm, I really enjoyed the wit and conversations between the people. Yes, it was rather weird, to see royal communicating so casually, but well, its a story! I laughed many times throughout reading the book. I did enjoy the scenes involving both the prince and Christina. But only the humor part. The romance part was, to me, not well thought out. I couldn't enjoy it. There was nothing to even suggest or hint they loved each other, not even any real jealousy when her ex came to visit. Except for a little bit, but that was more like a brotherly thing to do. Its actually one of the main reasons why I didn't love the book. I felt that the author shouldn't have just concentrated on the humor, but try to develop the characters more. From start to end, I never once felt that I understood the characters, and thus, I could not empathize with them.
To me, the book seemed more like a lighthearted read rather than a romance. I dunno, it's like suddenly he told her he loved her and she told him that. My mouth literally dropped. I couldn't understand it at all. Nothing in their behaviour towards each other would have made me guess that they really liked each other, let alone love. To me, they also lusted after each other. And this was another part I couldn't stand. Why was she so forthcoming? I was kinda shocked when she dragged him into some place and started having sex with him. It was just weird.
And I dunno, I felt that they did lust for each other but nothing even remotely close to love.
I just couldn't accept this as a romance. But if I take this as a comedy book, then I must say it was really very funny. Hmm, I didn't really like the vulgarities used by the characters. I'm normally alright with it if its used in moderation. But I felt that the author really put in too much of such things that they became unnecessary and plain weird.
All in all though, I did enjoy the book, though not so much of the romance. Though the book was rather weird as a whole, it did give me a good laugh and that makes it good in my book!
May 26, 2015
Hysterically funny read! If you're looking for The Thornbirds or The Tudors - don't stop here. This is a book for those of us who worship at the altar of snarky dialogue. And for those who love a heroine so far south of Cinderella that she wouldn't have gone to the ball unless she was really bored or wanted to check out the appetizers. And a hero who's perfectly OK with marrying whoever Dad picked out and doing his best to produce an heir - when he's not busy with his studies on penguins, of course. Is he surprised when she says no...
“Why won’t you marry me?” he blurted, then smacked himself on the forehead.
“Whoa! Easy on the self-flagellation, there, dude.”
“I’m supposed to woo you,” he explained.
“Well, don’t waste the woo on me. Not that it’s not a really nice offer. Because it is!”
“So. Why won’t you?”
“Because, frankly, being queen sounds like a gigantic pain in the ass.”
“I offer you a country and you tell me it’s a pain in the ass?”
The basic setup is Alaska was never bought by the US so it seceded and set up its own monarchy. Now several generations later the royal family continues to be made up of intelligent but eccentric characters: such as the King who sneaks off to go fishing in disguise and Crown Prince David who knows that that he'll be king one day but is far more interested in using his Marine Biology degree studying penguins. Enter Christina, newly fired from a cruise ship where she was a cook for objecting to the head chef's advances. She is a no-nonsense American with down-to-earth values - who the King meets and decides she'll be just PERFECT for David. As the first step he talks her into visiting them at the Sitka Palace...
Cut to parts 2 & 3 - preparations and the royal wedding
Christina's comment: Getting married’s probably not so bad. It’s all the screwing around beforehand that gives you a migraine.
On the way to the wedding, Christina proceeds to run roughshod over dress designers, protocol officers, catering staff, wedding planners, and various wedding traditions to finally achieve a royal wedding without frou-frou, a wedding dress she could breathe in, shoes she could walk in, and a Crisco-free wedding cake.
And lastly, part 4 - if this was Cinderella it would be fade to black behind the 'And they lived happily ever after...' voiceover. But it isn't and things happen and the action gets intense...
Again, this is a funny book. In fact, it's a very funny book. Fun characters, intriguing setting and a plot that moves right along. Enjoy!
Alaskan Royal Family
1. The Royal Treatment
2. The Royal Pain
3. The Royal Mess
“Why won’t you marry me?” he blurted, then smacked himself on the forehead.
“Whoa! Easy on the self-flagellation, there, dude.”
“I’m supposed to woo you,” he explained.
“Well, don’t waste the woo on me. Not that it’s not a really nice offer. Because it is!”
“So. Why won’t you?”
“Because, frankly, being queen sounds like a gigantic pain in the ass.”
“I offer you a country and you tell me it’s a pain in the ass?”
The basic setup is Alaska was never bought by the US so it seceded and set up its own monarchy. Now several generations later the royal family continues to be made up of intelligent but eccentric characters: such as the King who sneaks off to go fishing in disguise and Crown Prince David who knows that that he'll be king one day but is far more interested in using his Marine Biology degree studying penguins. Enter Christina, newly fired from a cruise ship where she was a cook for objecting to the head chef's advances. She is a no-nonsense American with down-to-earth values - who the King meets and decides she'll be just PERFECT for David. As the first step he talks her into visiting them at the Sitka Palace...
Cut to parts 2 & 3 - preparations and the royal wedding
Christina's comment: Getting married’s probably not so bad. It’s all the screwing around beforehand that gives you a migraine.
On the way to the wedding, Christina proceeds to run roughshod over dress designers, protocol officers, catering staff, wedding planners, and various wedding traditions to finally achieve a royal wedding without frou-frou, a wedding dress she could breathe in, shoes she could walk in, and a Crisco-free wedding cake.
And lastly, part 4 - if this was Cinderella it would be fade to black behind the 'And they lived happily ever after...' voiceover. But it isn't and things happen and the action gets intense...
Again, this is a funny book. In fact, it's a very funny book. Fun characters, intriguing setting and a plot that moves right along. Enjoy!
Alaskan Royal Family
1. The Royal Treatment
2. The Royal Pain
3. The Royal Mess
December 6, 2015
I loved the premise. It seemed like a super unique cute idea for a book. MaryJanice Davidson’s books always seem to put sense of humor first and foremost, but this was definitely not what I was expecting. Everything was a bit much. The story felt more like a parody than an actual book. All the characters and their actions were so ridiculously over-the-top— Christina in particular. She was written to be this spunky, fiery heroine that all the people in the castle loved for her quirky ways, but I couldn’t help but be a bit turned off by her personality. She was basically rude to everyone. If I met her in person, I would hate her guts. Also, there was no way in hell that she could get away with saying half the crap she did to the press. In real life, she’d probably be flayed alive by the media for her attitude problems. While I liked the penguins, David was kind of bland to me and I honestly wasn’t invested in the romance at all. I think the biggest issue was that there wasn’t much depth put in. It was very surface level. I don’t even think Christina and David ever had a real conversation. The entire story was the two of them having sex in closets and Christina threatening everyone.
I guess this book isn’t horrible as long as you know not to have too high of standards. It’s a lot of fluff and not much substance, one of those books you’d read purely for entertainment. There was this weird moment at the end where all of a sudden it switched to a different type of book and there were . It felt very out of place, like the author had decided to add an actual plot in the last 40 pages. I almost wish that the tone of the book had stayed lighthearted. After going 80% of the book with mindless banter, it was hard to get into it once things tried to turn depressing and serious. All that aside, the one thing I did like was the king. Like, that guy was crazy as hell. The fishing boat conversation in the beginning was one of my favorites. I probably wouldn’t want him running the country I lived in, but he was really hilarious.
I guess this book isn’t horrible as long as you know not to have too high of standards. It’s a lot of fluff and not much substance, one of those books you’d read purely for entertainment. There was this weird moment at the end where all of a sudden it switched to a different type of book and there were . It felt very out of place, like the author had decided to add an actual plot in the last 40 pages. I almost wish that the tone of the book had stayed lighthearted. After going 80% of the book with mindless banter, it was hard to get into it once things tried to turn depressing and serious. All that aside, the one thing I did like was the king. Like, that guy was crazy as hell. The fishing boat conversation in the beginning was one of my favorites. I probably wouldn’t want him running the country I lived in, but he was really hilarious.
March 29, 2015
I just couldn't get into this at all, it was predictable, unfunny, it was all too ridiculous, I didn't buy the romance, the characters were one dimensional and the plot just seemed to happen to the characters. I was actually bored reading this, I really should have put this down half way through.
I found Christina really annoying she's so determined not to be royal, we get it she's not bothered by the whole royal thing, but she was down right rude a lot of the time (not just the swearing she seems incapable of telling people that something is not to her personal taste without insulting them) and it doesn't add anything to the story.
The whole book felt more like a series of things that happened rather than a complete story. I was really dissapointed, I've really liked her books in the past and I had high hopes for this one.
I found Christina really annoying she's so determined not to be royal, we get it she's not bothered by the whole royal thing, but she was down right rude a lot of the time (not just the swearing she seems incapable of telling people that something is not to her personal taste without insulting them) and it doesn't add anything to the story.
The whole book felt more like a series of things that happened rather than a complete story. I was really dissapointed, I've really liked her books in the past and I had high hopes for this one.
October 2, 2007
I like Mary Janice Davidson's books, and have read a few of them now. Unfortunately, she uses a great deal of profanity, unnecessarily, in her stories.
I loved the dynamics of the relationship between David and Christina. I was anxious throughout the story to read about how their relationship would develop.
I realized, through reading this book, that I like to imagine my life different than what it is. That's not to say that I'm not happy with the way my life is, however. I just enjoy living a fantasy life--in my mind--and then getting back to reality when I put the book down.
I loved the dynamics of the relationship between David and Christina. I was anxious throughout the story to read about how their relationship would develop.
I realized, through reading this book, that I like to imagine my life different than what it is. That's not to say that I'm not happy with the way my life is, however. I just enjoy living a fantasy life--in my mind--and then getting back to reality when I put the book down.
December 13, 2019
Loads of potential here that is completely blown to smithereens by the authors zany/over the top plot & characters. Our lead is just too salt of the earth, relaxed to be believed. The plot, what there is of it is paper thin and weirdly annoying as there is little to hang it on. The author brings up a couple of interesting aspects but never does anything with them.
It all needed to be reined in, some layers added to all the characters, and the plot developed - with some twists and turns that don't make this attempt seem so juvenile.
It all needed to be reined in, some layers added to all the characters, and the plot developed - with some twists and turns that don't make this attempt seem so juvenile.
January 29, 2022
2022 bk 10. A fun 'what if" book. What if Alaska had revolted against the Russian throne in the 1800's and struck out as an independent kingdom is the premise of this fun and quirky romance novel. Davidson does a delightful job of creating fresh characters (although sometimes the dialogue seems a little off, but of course it was written in 2004 and we are 18 years later now), in an interesting situation. She says the King is modeled after her father and that must have been a fun childhood! Back to the story. I did purchase this in 2004 and enjoyed it then and enjoyed it now!
February 26, 2018
Goodreads recommended it to me, I read it in one night, I have no regrets. Very entertaining and fun.
Read
November 5, 2022It nightmare to mary prince thanx God i don't have one of that crap..Thes houmor novel about royalyty have more pain in ass.
March 20, 2021
"Delightful and dazzling erotic novel"
Um no. It's painful and tepid in terms of steamy erotic sex scenes. The sex scenes are almost perfunctory and do nothing for me. Especially their first time together. Ugh. Might as well have been a YA novel.
The book is certainly dazzling. Dazzlingly boring! OMG the amount of detail in this book about wedding preparations and meeting every royal around the world and some celebrities (Kate Beckinsale) and other wedding-related filler was so insanely boring. There was so much time spent on that and very few meaningful interactions between the two MCs.
This is a wedding + royalty-focused book, not focused on the romance aspect in the least. I felt no attraction or sexual tension between the two MCs and didn't believe in their romance at all.
I read the 3rd book in the series first and I'm glad I did as I don't think I would have read the rest of the series if I'd started with this one. In contrast, the third book is amazing and funny. Very much worth reading.
Um no. It's painful and tepid in terms of steamy erotic sex scenes. The sex scenes are almost perfunctory and do nothing for me. Especially their first time together. Ugh. Might as well have been a YA novel.
The book is certainly dazzling. Dazzlingly boring! OMG the amount of detail in this book about wedding preparations and meeting every royal around the world and some celebrities (Kate Beckinsale) and other wedding-related filler was so insanely boring. There was so much time spent on that and very few meaningful interactions between the two MCs.
This is a wedding + royalty-focused book, not focused on the romance aspect in the least. I felt no attraction or sexual tension between the two MCs and didn't believe in their romance at all.
I read the 3rd book in the series first and I'm glad I did as I don't think I would have read the rest of the series if I'd started with this one. In contrast, the third book is amazing and funny. Very much worth reading.
December 2, 2012
~3.5/5
[Also available on my blog.]
This book was not amazing, but I still really enjoyed it.
This was the first in the series, and the last one that I read. It focused on Prince David and Christina, who incidentally get pushed together, and end up falling for each other anyway.
After seeing them in the other books, I knew I liked them, and was just interested in seeing how they met and how it all started. It kind of started with their father, and I enjoyed their story. They moved a bit slowly with falling for each other, which I liked since it usually happens much faster, and there was still that expected Davidson humor, which worked really well here.
One thing that seemed a bit odd to me, was that this book seemed to have more effort put into it than the others in the series, and you could very easily tell that this was originally going to be a stand-alone. There were some little tidbits put in that told of what happened to them later, including the excerpts written from Edmunds (I believe? Or was it supposed to be someone in his family, a son or grandson?) book. There wasn’t anything like that in the other books, which doesn’t make them tie in together all that well, but that’s all right. Also, there was a tiny action, suspense plot in the book, near the end, when there wasn’t really any of that in the other books.
I found the book rather interesting, and very entertaining. Also, as I said in the previous review, I like Edmund. He’s so very entertaining. I think I liked him best in the third book, but he’s fun in all of them. I would just like to see more of him.
I also got to know Nicholas better, and a tiny bit more of Alex the boy. I like all of the characters, really, and would like to get to know them all better. I want to know what happens with them.
This was a good book. I liked it about as much as I like Davidson’s other books, and look forward to reading her others.
[Also available on my blog.]
This book was not amazing, but I still really enjoyed it.
This was the first in the series, and the last one that I read. It focused on Prince David and Christina, who incidentally get pushed together, and end up falling for each other anyway.
After seeing them in the other books, I knew I liked them, and was just interested in seeing how they met and how it all started. It kind of started with their father, and I enjoyed their story. They moved a bit slowly with falling for each other, which I liked since it usually happens much faster, and there was still that expected Davidson humor, which worked really well here.
One thing that seemed a bit odd to me, was that this book seemed to have more effort put into it than the others in the series, and you could very easily tell that this was originally going to be a stand-alone. There were some little tidbits put in that told of what happened to them later, including the excerpts written from Edmunds (I believe? Or was it supposed to be someone in his family, a son or grandson?) book. There wasn’t anything like that in the other books, which doesn’t make them tie in together all that well, but that’s all right. Also, there was a tiny action, suspense plot in the book, near the end, when there wasn’t really any of that in the other books.
I found the book rather interesting, and very entertaining. Also, as I said in the previous review, I like Edmund. He’s so very entertaining. I think I liked him best in the third book, but he’s fun in all of them. I would just like to see more of him.
I also got to know Nicholas better, and a tiny bit more of Alex the boy. I like all of the characters, really, and would like to get to know them all better. I want to know what happens with them.
This was a good book. I liked it about as much as I like Davidson’s other books, and look forward to reading her others.
November 8, 2012
What if Alaska hadn't become the 49th State? And what if, unnder the direction of a man named Kaarl Baranov, the residents of Alaska got tired of the law that forbade Russians from settling permanent in the snowy wilderness and performed a nearly bloodless coup? And what if said Baranov took control of Alaska , set it up as a monarchy, and became its first king?
This is the historical back-drop for MaryJanice Davidson's THE ROYAL TREATMENT, and it's only the beginning. The royal family--including father King Alexander II, oldest son Prince David, oldest daughter Princess Alexandria, middle son Prince Alexander, youngest daughter Princess Kathryn, and youngest son Prince Nicholas--reside in the Sitka Palace and are unlike any bunch of stiff-necked royals you've ever met.
The King, who takes delight in attempting to fool the commoners into thinking he's an average fisherman on a weekly basis, is a wise-cracking, tender-hearted, potty-mouth ruler with a heart of gold. And for the last few months, his goal has been to find nearly thirty-year-old son Prince David a wife. King "Al" believes he's found the perfect wife for his son--Christina "the 'e' is silent" Krabbe. Fired from her job on a cruise ship while at port in Alaska , Christina has no money, no family, and nowhere to go, until King Al in disguise invites her to get in touch with one Edmund Dante, who turns out to be the King's adviser.
What follows is a hilarious romp through family loyalty, lust, and the life and loves of a royal family. As Christina and David head toward an history-making wedding, the two of them learn that love and laughter are as necessary as ruling a nation.
With MaryJanice Davidson's trademark wit and witticisms, THE ROYAL TREATMENT is a delight that you're sure to enjoy.
This is the historical back-drop for MaryJanice Davidson's THE ROYAL TREATMENT, and it's only the beginning. The royal family--including father King Alexander II, oldest son Prince David, oldest daughter Princess Alexandria, middle son Prince Alexander, youngest daughter Princess Kathryn, and youngest son Prince Nicholas--reside in the Sitka Palace and are unlike any bunch of stiff-necked royals you've ever met.
The King, who takes delight in attempting to fool the commoners into thinking he's an average fisherman on a weekly basis, is a wise-cracking, tender-hearted, potty-mouth ruler with a heart of gold. And for the last few months, his goal has been to find nearly thirty-year-old son Prince David a wife. King "Al" believes he's found the perfect wife for his son--Christina "the 'e' is silent" Krabbe. Fired from her job on a cruise ship while at port in Alaska , Christina has no money, no family, and nowhere to go, until King Al in disguise invites her to get in touch with one Edmund Dante, who turns out to be the King's adviser.
What follows is a hilarious romp through family loyalty, lust, and the life and loves of a royal family. As Christina and David head toward an history-making wedding, the two of them learn that love and laughter are as necessary as ruling a nation.
With MaryJanice Davidson's trademark wit and witticisms, THE ROYAL TREATMENT is a delight that you're sure to enjoy.
January 25, 2021
Not my cup of tea
1 star
I really liked the premise for this book of an alternate world where Alaska became an independent country rather than part of the USA and had its own quirky, eccentric royal family. Unfortunately for me, the actual book didn't live up to my expectations.
The worst thing about the book was the heroine, Christina. She was supposed to be feisty but I just didn't find her likeable at all. She was cocky, sarcastic and ridiculously foul-mouthed yet everyone around her seemed to think she was the best thing since sliced bread. I just didn't get it. The other characters were slightly better but we didn't go deep enough to really like any of them.
Because of the lack of depth, the romance also fell flat and the sex scenes were such a disappointment with not a bit of chemistry between the characters.
This is probably a personal thing but I didn't even crack a smile while reading and there was no humour at all in the book, in my opinion.
Overall, I really didn't like this book. Having said that, it was my first book by MaryJanice Davidson so perhaps fans of hers might enjoy this more than I did. Only 1 star.
February 5, 2021
I wanted to love it, but it just didn't hit that spot for me.
I think the premise is super unique and the humor was great. But I just didn't feel any connection between the MCs.
So while I did laugh out loud, this romance left me wanting for more.
I think the premise is super unique and the humor was great. But I just didn't feel any connection between the MCs.
So while I did laugh out loud, this romance left me wanting for more.
January 7, 2012
The Royal Treatment by Mary Janice Davidson encompasses a fictional world where Alaska is a country all of its own but the environment is similar to today’s realm. The story is of Alaska’s Royal Family who by even today’s standard of reality TV is quite eccentric. When the King, who is in disguise as a fishing tour guide finds Christina, who is between jobs, he decides she's perfect for his eldest son and decides to throw the two of them together. When you throw in some intrigue, crazy siblings and a few penguins you get great that is a little unbelievable but also relatively entertaining.
4 Stars
4 Stars
June 22, 2016
I'd been wanting to read this book for a couple of years, so I gave it 80 pages before giving up. It wasn't actively bad, it was just.. meh. I didn't particularly care about the characters, and they all seemed more like caricatures than actual people. And despite supposedly being a funny book, it never made me even smile, let alone chuckle. So I gave up, because life's too short to read books you don't like.
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