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Tori Amos Bootleg Webring
Writer Megan Milks tells the story of a late-’90s web ring that traded bootleg recordings of Tori Amos concerts. (Milks’s trading page was called “Cocaine Lip Gloss Sale Stand,” a nod to Lipsmackers and an extremely obscure Amos reference.)"
"Then there is the actual missing information. For Milks, doing research to remember a subculture that thrived in Yahoo Groups—which has been entirely dismantled—was especially challenging. Milks had downloaded some listservs at the end of 2019 but couldn’t access others. (By chance, one Tori Amos superfan kept an archive of about 20,000 emails from the time, and offered up access to Milks.)
"Then there is the actual missing information. For Milks, doing research to remember a subculture that thrived in Yahoo Groups—which has been entirely dismantled—was especially challenging. Milks had downloaded some listservs at the end of 2019 but couldn’t access others. (By chance, one Tori Amos superfan kept an archive of about 20,000 emails from the time, and offered up access to Milks.)
144 pages, ebook
Published September 21, 2021
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Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews
April 15, 2022
I went into this second volume of InstarBooks’ Remember the Internet series expecting a hisTORIcal look at Tori Amos’ internet fan culture in the 90’s, particularly the extensive live bootleg trading subculture that is perhaps only rivaled by the likes of the Grateful Dead or Pearl Jam—and it was, but it’s also a memoir of the author’s coming of age, especially the realization of their own queerness and gender identity. For some thirty years, Tori’s music has been a vehicle for such self-discovery for countless fans, so it made perfect sense, and added a personal layer that made the stories feel so much more immediate and lived; I had to pace myself in order not to finish it in a single sitting.
I came to Tori’s work as a fifteen-year-old who already had her bisexuality mostly figured out, sometime in 2006ish—the same year Mikewhy decided to archive theDent, the end of an era (although Violet and woj took up the reins immediately by creating Undented, which is still going strong, although the book fails to mention that the torch was passed; the focus is definitely on the mid-90’s to early 00’s). Over the next few years, when my own fandom was still budding, more and more forums and sites disappeared into the world wide oblivion. Our parents cautioned us to be mindful of what we put out there, because everything on the internet is forever, but that’s a lie.
As someone who came to Tori when connecting with fellow fans in established fandom spaces was made pretty easy, I was drawn to reading this first-hand account by someone who lived through the rise and fall of the since dismantled (yet legendary) early fan communities. Milks talked to people who were either instrumental in providing spaces for fans to get news and trade bootlegs back in the day, and people who are still working hard to preserve such things for posterity; it was pretty wild, because I’m familiar with everyone Milks interviewed in this book, the degrees of our acquaintance ranging from a rather one-sided “I know who this person is”, to a more personal “we’ve interacted online/at a show” and even “we’ve split gas money and shared a hotel room on tour”.
In fact, the only people I'd never heard of before were the author and their friend—which makes sense for a number of reasons (and doesn't mean that Milks isn't a very capable guide through the intricacies of the early world wide web!). They say that they turned their back on the fandom in the early-to-mid-2000's, but even when they were most involved in it, and running their own bootleg web ring, they mostly stood on the sidelines, only seldomly interacting with the growing online communities.
The way Milks candidly recounts their insecurities and cringes at their past self were relatable; I, too, have a hard time matching my online self to my real self, even in the safe space of what I’ve generally found to be a welcoming fan community. As someone who tries to help keep what remains of Tori’s online fan spaces alive by being active and engaging, but is actually very much an introvert in real life, I have always had a hard time reconciling these two sides of myself. By being a regular on the touring circuit, I’ve built my little tribe of friends (it’s unlikely that I’d tour as much as I do if I hadn’t tangibly experienced such a sense of belonging), but I am perpetually and painfully aware that my online VS real-life personas have completely divergent personalities; Milks experienced it too, they get it.
My Tori Amos bootleg folder currently contains 19.117 items, and was just updated today. As I am writing this, I am listening to an audience recording of Tori’s 1994 concert in Zurich, Switzerland, which was digitized from cassette tape and shared this morning—incidentally, by the same person who provided Milks with the archive of 21.694 emails from the defunct listservs and Yahoo Groups. The Tori fan and trading community may no longer be what it once was, but it’s still very much alive, and there are dedicated people who are determined to keep it going.
I enjoyed this book and appreciate what it sets out to do—build and preserve a timeline as well as a time-capsule of 90’s Tori fandom—immensely. Highly recommended to the newer fans who’d like to get a sense of the fandom’s unique internet hisTORI, the OG EWF who’d like to take a walk down memory lane with Milks, and as a case study for any geek interested in how the early internet shaped fan culture and communities.
—————
Note: I received an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.
I came to Tori’s work as a fifteen-year-old who already had her bisexuality mostly figured out, sometime in 2006ish—the same year Mikewhy decided to archive theDent, the end of an era (although Violet and woj took up the reins immediately by creating Undented, which is still going strong, although the book fails to mention that the torch was passed; the focus is definitely on the mid-90’s to early 00’s). Over the next few years, when my own fandom was still budding, more and more forums and sites disappeared into the world wide oblivion. Our parents cautioned us to be mindful of what we put out there, because everything on the internet is forever, but that’s a lie.
As someone who came to Tori when connecting with fellow fans in established fandom spaces was made pretty easy, I was drawn to reading this first-hand account by someone who lived through the rise and fall of the since dismantled (yet legendary) early fan communities. Milks talked to people who were either instrumental in providing spaces for fans to get news and trade bootlegs back in the day, and people who are still working hard to preserve such things for posterity; it was pretty wild, because I’m familiar with everyone Milks interviewed in this book, the degrees of our acquaintance ranging from a rather one-sided “I know who this person is”, to a more personal “we’ve interacted online/at a show” and even “we’ve split gas money and shared a hotel room on tour”.
In fact, the only people I'd never heard of before were the author and their friend—which makes sense for a number of reasons (and doesn't mean that Milks isn't a very capable guide through the intricacies of the early world wide web!). They say that they turned their back on the fandom in the early-to-mid-2000's, but even when they were most involved in it, and running their own bootleg web ring, they mostly stood on the sidelines, only seldomly interacting with the growing online communities.
“I liked the internet for the anonymity, the ways it let me stretch my performance of self without any IRL ramifications… the more I realized I could be some other more interesting person online, the more I felt stuck in my self. It was a kind of dysphoria. How would I ever get my two selves to match?”
The way Milks candidly recounts their insecurities and cringes at their past self were relatable; I, too, have a hard time matching my online self to my real self, even in the safe space of what I’ve generally found to be a welcoming fan community. As someone who tries to help keep what remains of Tori’s online fan spaces alive by being active and engaging, but is actually very much an introvert in real life, I have always had a hard time reconciling these two sides of myself. By being a regular on the touring circuit, I’ve built my little tribe of friends (it’s unlikely that I’d tour as much as I do if I hadn’t tangibly experienced such a sense of belonging), but I am perpetually and painfully aware that my online VS real-life personas have completely divergent personalities; Milks experienced it too, they get it.
My Tori Amos bootleg folder currently contains 19.117 items, and was just updated today. As I am writing this, I am listening to an audience recording of Tori’s 1994 concert in Zurich, Switzerland, which was digitized from cassette tape and shared this morning—incidentally, by the same person who provided Milks with the archive of 21.694 emails from the defunct listservs and Yahoo Groups. The Tori fan and trading community may no longer be what it once was, but it’s still very much alive, and there are dedicated people who are determined to keep it going.
I enjoyed this book and appreciate what it sets out to do—build and preserve a timeline as well as a time-capsule of 90’s Tori fandom—immensely. Highly recommended to the newer fans who’d like to get a sense of the fandom’s unique internet hisTORI, the OG EWF who’d like to take a walk down memory lane with Milks, and as a case study for any geek interested in how the early internet shaped fan culture and communities.
—————
Note: I received an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.
June 12, 2021
It's here! Officially out 9/21/2021. The second in Instar Books' new series Remember the Internet, TORI AMOS BOOTLEG WEBRING is my personal history of online Tori fandom as a teen, opening up into a collective history of listservs, webrings, and internet fandom. It's also a story of queer friendship, adolescence, artistic formation, and the ongoing pursuit of community. I loved writing this and getting the opportunity to reconnect with old pals and talk to a number of EWFs I'd known only peripherally online.
June 2, 2021
What an absolute treasure of a book! Brought back so many memories of '90s-era Tori fandom and spending hours on The Dent reading concert reviews and setlists, collecting bootlegs that had performances of your favorite songs. There's also a lot here about fandom and community, and the sweetness and tension of friendship and finding art that speaks to every weirdness in your soul. An absolute must read for any EWF, current or former, and anyone who's interested in the history of early internet shaping fan communities.
April 15, 2025
Milks makes me nostalgic for events that happened before I was conscious or even alive; for familiar, queer, fannish communities with whose experiences I rhyme. Of particular note were their explorations of undefinable queer intimacy between their teen self and Chris; the dichotomy of awkward irl encounters / deep, capacious email and web exchanges was so familiar that my heart ached with it. There is a very special heldness/loneliness that comes with being a very online closeted queer kid, at least, one in the 90s / 00s / early 10s. Milks has written it perfectly. While im a Tori casual, I see this essay, in many ways, as a kind of mirror.
Read
June 8, 2025o here i am drinking my $10 latte and writing this review. it’s berkeley weather out here, temperamental and slightly warm. i’m wearing my clogs. and finally, i have read megan milks’ tori amos bootleg webring. i was in amherst books with d yesterday and happened across two copies of it on the shelf, which felt serendipitous, even though i “wasn’t going to buy a book” because i had “just gotten a lot of books from the library.” i justified the purchase to myself by saying i would send it to e as an early birthday present, because of our shared tori summer in illinois two years ago. tori accompanied us through the highs and lows of summer farming - birth (ex. seeds growing to vegetables) and death (ex. murder of squash vine borers).
i really liked this book even though this wasn’t my teenage era of the internet, and i’m not enough of a tori fan to get all the references. yet there was something that felt so familiar about the intertwined experience of finding fandom and queerness online as a teenager and now i’m wanting to read more fan scholarship about this....i know it’s out there...because megan milks references it. it’s also interesting reading this after reading megan’s other stuff, seeing the autobiographical details that are replicated and played with in margaret. yes i feel that i’m on first name terms with megan, because of our brief email correspondence and because at heart i think megan milks and sam cohen are my cool twin guncles.
i also appreciate the excavation of unnameably queer friendship at the heart of this book, and wish there could’ve been even more scenes depicting chris and megan. this type of coded friendship also felt familiar to me - i wonder if the obsessiveness adoration/desires of fandom can act as a language that masks yet also signals the hidden adoration/desires of queerness. i certainly felt like fandom was an outlet for those feelings for me, insulating me from actually having to act on my desires in an embodied way. i sometimes think that’s the darkest thing about the internet, how it seemingly fulfills socializing needs while actually leaving us hollow and disconnected. megan milks explores this in such a clear-eyed awesome way.
i really like this kid in a purple fairy dress who just walked by drinking her green smoothie. anyway, this was great, compulsively readable. awesome title that makes me feel like i'm hacking by just saying it. perhaps this will launch me into tori summer pt ii.
i really liked this book even though this wasn’t my teenage era of the internet, and i’m not enough of a tori fan to get all the references. yet there was something that felt so familiar about the intertwined experience of finding fandom and queerness online as a teenager and now i’m wanting to read more fan scholarship about this....i know it’s out there...because megan milks references it. it’s also interesting reading this after reading megan’s other stuff, seeing the autobiographical details that are replicated and played with in margaret. yes i feel that i’m on first name terms with megan, because of our brief email correspondence and because at heart i think megan milks and sam cohen are my cool twin guncles.
i also appreciate the excavation of unnameably queer friendship at the heart of this book, and wish there could’ve been even more scenes depicting chris and megan. this type of coded friendship also felt familiar to me - i wonder if the obsessiveness adoration/desires of fandom can act as a language that masks yet also signals the hidden adoration/desires of queerness. i certainly felt like fandom was an outlet for those feelings for me, insulating me from actually having to act on my desires in an embodied way. i sometimes think that’s the darkest thing about the internet, how it seemingly fulfills socializing needs while actually leaving us hollow and disconnected. megan milks explores this in such a clear-eyed awesome way.
i really like this kid in a purple fairy dress who just walked by drinking her green smoothie. anyway, this was great, compulsively readable. awesome title that makes me feel like i'm hacking by just saying it. perhaps this will launch me into tori summer pt ii.
March 5, 2023
I’ve recently begun my journey of listening through Tori’s extensive amount of bootlegs, so I thought this would be a great book to get me into the feel of what it would be like trading them in the 90s, and it did! I sometimes wish I was older so I could’ve been around to experience this sort of community, though I don’t think that would’ve been really that possible since I live in NZ. I’m also ever so grateful for the huge collection of bootlegs, considering the last time Tori was here was in 1996, so I have a feeling I will most likely never see her live, which saddens me beyond belief.
The author's story alongside the discovery of Tori and their growing love for her was wonderful. It added a personal touch that makes it feel relatable. I can very much relate to being a lurker in communities and feeling like I come across differently online vs offline, as well as struggling with my sexual identity. The part where the author says even though Tori often brings up sexual topics in her songs, her concerts feel asexual in a sense really rings true for me. Even though I haven’t been to a concert, I get that feeling from her music in general, which is why I think I’m so attached to it. I also loved how some of the early Tori sites/web-rings were mentioned, and that there were a few screenshots.
A sweet short look into a very nostalgic time of the internet that I’m sure all Tori fans will love and relate to!
The author's story alongside the discovery of Tori and their growing love for her was wonderful. It added a personal touch that makes it feel relatable. I can very much relate to being a lurker in communities and feeling like I come across differently online vs offline, as well as struggling with my sexual identity. The part where the author says even though Tori often brings up sexual topics in her songs, her concerts feel asexual in a sense really rings true for me. Even though I haven’t been to a concert, I get that feeling from her music in general, which is why I think I’m so attached to it. I also loved how some of the early Tori sites/web-rings were mentioned, and that there were a few screenshots.
A sweet short look into a very nostalgic time of the internet that I’m sure all Tori fans will love and relate to!
September 30, 2021
Do you remember the first thing you did when you got online? For gen Z, that may have been connecting with friends or watching videos, but when Megan Milks logged on in the mid-1990s those weren't options. "My friends weren't online yet," they write, "although whenever one of them got connected, I sent out thrilled emails that were met with unimpressed responses: 'I am trying to call you.'"
File sharing? When Milks's fellow Tori Amos fans wanted to download pictures of their heroine, let alone sound files, they'd have to start the download process and let it run all night. If you wanted to trade concert bootlegs, you were going to need a dual cassette deck (later a CD burner), and you were going to need a webring. Hence the title of Milks's charming, poignant new book.
I reviewed Tori Amos Bootleg Webring for The Current.
File sharing? When Milks's fellow Tori Amos fans wanted to download pictures of their heroine, let alone sound files, they'd have to start the download process and let it run all night. If you wanted to trade concert bootlegs, you were going to need a dual cassette deck (later a CD burner), and you were going to need a webring. Hence the title of Milks's charming, poignant new book.
I reviewed Tori Amos Bootleg Webring for The Current.
January 7, 2022
so exciting to have this micro-community so well documented. it was so formative to be part of that late 90s tori amos fandom, and Megan captured it so well. thanks Megan!
April 25, 2023
Highly relatable little book I grabbed at the Instar Books press table at AWP Seattle 2023. I went to a Tori Amos concert in the mid-90s in Boston. The internet not only tells me what it was — it must have been September 9, 1996 at the Harborlights Pavilion, the beginning of my junior year in high school, her Dew Drop Inn tour — but also gives me a sound file of that actual live concert. It would not have occurred to me to look that up, except that I read Tori Amos Bootleg Webring, and learned that these recordings are a thing. I suppose I was, at that time, still kind of dating the person who took me to the concert, but then, shortly afterward, was not dating that person anymore. (I have been meticulous about keeping such life records, like the day on which the thing we don't care about didn't really happen, and yet also have been equally meticulously destroying those records because there are certain details about which no one cares, least of all myself anymore.) Anyhow, Tori Amos was important to me, not only because my dating person took me to this concert which I definitely remember because Tori Amos was doing A Thing At the Piano With Her Voice I didn't realize was possible to do, but also because another friend was into her and gave me her songs on a mix tape. Tori Amos was popular at my high school, at least, with some of us, not that "we" were necessarily ourselves "popular" and thus perhaps are not the ideal judges of popularity. (FYI, this MP3 I just downloaded and am listening to right now — the audience is clapping along. I think I was in that audience. I really do.) So I like what Megan Milks has done here, I mean I wasn't personally cool/anticool enough to be in the Toriverse exactly, but I was high school Class of '98 (I think the author and I are the same age), I remember webrings and GeoCities and installing computer stuff from CD and dubbing Maxell tapes at normal speed or high speed. Tori is somehow about all this. Like, it's almost that her songs were a soundtrack, but she pops out of soundtracks. She can't be played on background. She is a phenomenon that made the '90s 3-D. Megan Milks's little book is like that too. It seems like it would be a small personal story, but it pops. And the theme of trans is like that too. Something doesn't fit and sprouts sideways. Tori may not be trans, but the ivy growing around her is.
January 21, 2023
I bought this book on a whim while traveling, mostly due to my lifelong love of both Tori Amos and early internet culture. It greatly surpassed my expectations and ended up being one of the best books I read all year. A tender and nostalgic queer coming-of-age story told in the context of the author’s experiences with a Tori Amos listserv. It’s as good as it sounds.
August 24, 2021
This is a great book, highly recommended.
December 31, 2025
Nostalgic. Beautiful to learn that whenever and wherever, the feelings are the same 🩷
December 23, 2022
This was a niche book on the Tori Amos community internet culture in the '90s. I find it incredible that a bunch of teenage Tori Amos fans invented the fandom culture that now dominates the internet. The earliest internet fandom was the Tori Amos fan community. This was such a prominent fact that the first song released on online streaming was...a Tori Amos song. This is now a ubiquitous reality for all music.
As Milks observes, Tori Amos was only the second woman musician to be certified as a topic on Usenet (an early internet forum). She achieved that status in 1994. The first, approved back in 1985? Kate Bush. "There's something about each of them," a fellow "early online Toriphile," tells Milks, "that attracts geeks, apparently."
It is also a beautiful coming-of-age memoir. Yeah!
As Milks observes, Tori Amos was only the second woman musician to be certified as a topic on Usenet (an early internet forum). She achieved that status in 1994. The first, approved back in 1985? Kate Bush. "There's something about each of them," a fellow "early online Toriphile," tells Milks, "that attracts geeks, apparently."
It is also a beautiful coming-of-age memoir. Yeah!
December 19, 2022
I'm not sure how I stumbled upon this book, but I am so glad I did. It brought back so many memories of my own EWF days. I discovered Tori when I was in college in 1998. I had also just discovered the internet. This book brought back memories of chatting on AIM and ICQ, staying up late creating my first website, and downloading MP3s (very slowly) over dial up. My fandom reached its peak a little later than this book. I was most active on the tori-boot mailing list and @forumz around 2001 - 2003. I missed the cassette trading days and didn't do a ton of audio trading (mostly just the shows I attended), but I got really into creating and trading VCDs and SVCDs. I used the little money I had once I graduated college to build my own computer complete with a capture card so I could capture Tori's TV appearances.
This book is about far more than Tori Amos. It's about the early days of the internet and coming-of-age during that decidedly different time. Thank you for the memories. I will take them with me when I go to my first Tori show in over a decade this year.
This book is about far more than Tori Amos. It's about the early days of the internet and coming-of-age during that decidedly different time. Thank you for the memories. I will take them with me when I go to my first Tori show in over a decade this year.
Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews