Katie Langston is an unlikely convert to Christianity.
She grew up in a devout, conservative Mormon family in Utah, served a proselytizing mission to Bulgaria when she was 21, married for "time and all eternity" in the Mormon temple when she was 23. From the outside, she had a typical Mormon life. Inside, she was coming apart at the seams.
From childhood, she battled "The Questions"—obsessive-compulsive disorder, though she didn't have a diagnosis for it until much later—and lived inside a complex maze of anxiety and fear. This was compounded by Mormonism's emphasis on "worthiness," a designation of acceptability in Mormon practice, that brought her to the edge of despair as a young mother.
Then, almost by accident, she had an encounter with the grace of Jesus Christ—and her world changed.
In candid but not sensationalized ways, Langston explores little-understood Mormon practices and teachings while grappling with universal human questions such as the nature of faith, the complexity of family, the process of healing, and what it means to truly belong.
This book is intended to be a bridge-builder, a way to help non-Mormons understand Mormonism and Mormons orthodox Christianity through the power of personal narrative. Most of all, it is a testimony of Jesus Christ, in the hopes that those who read it—Mormon, Christian, or neither—will catch a glimpse of the spectacular, life-changing grace of God.
A powerful story from a gifted writer. I heard Langston give a talk during the Mockingbird conference in the Twin Cities area of Minnesota in September 2023. After hearing her speak, I knew she would also be a good writer, and I wasn't disappointed. Would recommend. I hope she publishes more work, as I'd love to read some of her musings on a theological topic.
Quotes:
"For demons come in many forms: the lies we're forced to tell and the lies we're taught to believe, the distortions of the soul that become all we know once we repeat them enough" (p. 29).
"On those rare occasions we admit to change, we usually tell ourselves we're doing it to make things better--pursuing goals, helping others. But I think when we're honest we see we're running, always running, from the pain we are least able to bear" (p. 75).
Christians across the theological spectrum declare that they have been saved by grace. Sealed: An Unexpected Journey into the Heart of Grace by first-time book author Katie Langston may well be the most thorough and personal contemporary treatment of how that grace is experienced.
Although Langston is certainly capable of writing a lengthy theological exposition on the nature of grace, this book isn't that. Instead, she writes about grace through telling her life story, much in the way that she should talk to a friend. (I should know: I've known her as a virtual friend for about a decade; this review is based on an advance copy of the book she gave me.) In some ways, there's nothing extraordinary about her story; she grew up in a typical Latter-day Saint (aka Mormon) home but after years of struggle, she came to see that her church, despite all her efforts, wasn't giving her the spiritual sustenance she needed. As the book's subtitle suggests, she ultimately found the love of Jesus Christ where she would have least expected it. She is now a pastoral intern with a major Lutheran denomination.
What is extraordinary is the vulnerability Langston displays in the way she wrote this book. I now know things about Katie I don’t know about my own wife, the book is that intimate. If you what to know something about how the mind of a person with scrupulosity (or even obsessive-compulsive disorder in general) works, you’ll find it here. You’ll also see how well-meaning parents and church members can make life more difficult, often causing lasting harm.
I also applaud Langston for not to succumbing to whatever temptation there may have been to make this an anti-Mormon screed such as has become popular among critics of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. She lets the Church’s culture and actions speak for themselves. When given the perfect opportunity to detail troublesome aspects of the Church’s history, for example, she mentions them in only briefly. She doesn’t avoid telling how the Church failed her, nor does she overlook how Latter-day Saint practice tends to substitute a master checklist for grace. But neither did she respond to that failure by making ex-Mormonism a religion of its own. Members of the Church will find little here to offend them unless they're looking for offense, and they'd do well to learn where their church's practice of the faith falls short.
As much as anything else, Sealed makes grace more than a theological concept; it treats grace as something to be received and lived more than to be studied or preached.
Katie is a gifted storyteller that takes readers on the dynamic journey of her faith. This book is about faith transitions, but it is also about connecting generations of women in Katie's family who have been found unworthy of belonging, and breaking the cycle for future generations. Katie's story is one of faith, bravery, and a revelation of grace.
Katie writes, “I’m deeply flawed,” I confessed, “but God’s mercy and grace are real. It doesn’t matter what you’ve done or haven’t done, what you struggle with, where your pain lies. God’s love is enough for you.”
Sealed is an invitation to open yourself up to the reality that you are enough. Katie comes home to herself within the pages of this book and she invites readers to do the same--no matter where that leads you--because God will be found wherever you end up.
After reading this book, I can’t bring myself to award a number of stars in rating. It feels too much like pronouncing a judgment, like the many LDS church leaders that held traumatic worthiness interviews with the author over her lifetime. Instead, I just want to thank her for sharing such a very personal story, with such raw vulnerability. As a born-and-raised LDS member myself, constantly wrestling with The Questions, I have so much empathy for Katie’s struggle and journey. I found the emotions while reading the book sometimes almost too painful to hold. The desperate wish for peace, love, belonging, to feel acceptable before God, to understand yourself within the context of your immediate family and long-gone ancestors, the urgency to “know” things that cannot be known, the untenability of “not knowing” in a religious culture that often seems to demand certainty... My upbringing and experiences have been quite different, but there are familiar threads here. I have met the author in person, and was drawn to something in her – her openness, her love of God, her sincerity, the depth and passion of her faith and feelings, her wish to shout God’s grace from the rooftops. I don’t find myself in quite the same place as Katie, theologically, right now (that would be a memoir all its own), but I admire and appreciate her so much.
One of the first things that struck me about this book was the author's voice. Ms. Langston's conversation-across-the-coffee-table approach is both candid and inviting upon telling her journey from an unfulfilling church experience to a life of faith amid God's grace. Her narrative is emotional and believable but is much more than a memoir--it's an experience.
It is easy to empathize with Ms. Langston's struggles with anxiety and the principled and intense standards. I cheered for her exploration of Jesus Christ and praised her encounters with grace. Her story is very personal but far from limited or exclusive. I feel we are born with a need to fill a pocket inside our hearts that only the grace of God can fill.
Sealed is full of depth, vulnerability, and remarkable clarity, keeping me captivated and responsive all the way through.
"A single syllable changed my world: no.” –Katie Langston
A vulnerable intimate memoir. Great storytelling. Complex narrative. Intimate insight into spiritual emotional family and cultural dynamics wrapped in a great voice and effective narrative flow.
This is a brutal exposition as a memoir, constantly wrestling with doubts and fears. This powerful book will emotionally affect anyone who has never quite belonged, rebelled against the church, the leaders…against God. As Katie wrote in the last paragraph of chapter 20: “I had believed that I must choose God in order to be loved, but the reality was that God’s love chose me. The world right-sided itself in that instant, and I trembled as the foundations of my life fell out from under me, only to discover that I was standing, for the first time, on solid ground…..I wept as I’d never wept before, with relief, with gratitude, as years of pain poured out of me and hope at last poured in, a new song to replace the well-worn tracks of self-hatred. I’m loved. I’m loved. Oh, my God, my God, I’m loved!” - Katie, you will touch many people's lives as an ordained minister. I write this review having received an advance review copy and as a practising Christian believer with a strong faith in the grace of our Lord and Saviour,Jesus Christ. - Reviewed by Kintra
After hearing Katie Langston give her testimony full of rich literary references*, I knew I had to read her story. I ordered her book right away (I'm going to give it as a Christmas gift to a friend who will love it as much as I did) and could hardly put it down all weekend.
Katie learned her religious scrupulosity at a young age. I was taken aback with her first story, but soon realized why this seemingly minor incident from her childhood became such a defining moment. She grew up in the Mormon church and still deeply treasures the ways in which this tradition pointed her towards her ultimate desire to be loved and to feel connected. It's just that in the Mormon faith, you are only saved "after all that you can do" and this caused her to scrutinize her every thought and move to be sure she hadn't sinned. She simply tried to live out the logical faith that had been handed down to her, and she found herself unable to bear this system.
She attended a lecture from a C. S. Lewis scholar that turned her beliefs upside down. She heard about God's grace--the radical idea that God offers forgiveness not to the very good but to those who recognize that they have failed to be good--and this grace began to dismantle everything she had tried so hard to believe. I really appreciated her honesty and her willingness to offer grace to those family and friends around her who weren't experiencing the same revelations about grace at the same time. She writes honestly of her pain, but she also takes care not to wound anyone. I admired her courage and integrity, the way she couldn't rest until she had answered all of her questions and dealt with all the discrepancies between the faith she'd grown up with and the new message of grace she was beginning to understand.
Doctrines I've taken for granted broke over her with a freshness that helps me to appreciate how radical these truths really are. If you enjoy spiritual memoirs, this is an excellent story worth seeking out. Listen to her testimony (link below) and see if you aren't just as eager as I was to hear the rest of the story!
Katie is a wonderful writer and has a beautiful grace-filled heart! I find it amazing that she continues her spiritual and religious journey while suffering with clinical anxiety and crippling scrupulosity (a religious form of OCD). She was understandably damaged by how (from toddlerhood!) she interpreted and internalized religious teachings as strict and self-castigating. Even making up sins to confess- my heart hurt for her! My personal perspective as an empowered woman born with WAY too much confidence, self-esteem, bossiness and a VERY critical eye on any(man) who would tell me what to do..... I have always deeply struggled to feel sorry for or have patience for adults who willingly remain in oppressive environments, feel “unworthy” by outside definitions and see rules as black and white (yep! I’m a jerk)... but this book helped me have more empathy towards anyone with debilitating anxiety and insecurity that traps them in a damaging faith. I’m genuinely happy she found a diagnosis, therapy, self acceptance, God’s inclusive love (without strings attached! GOD makes and keeps promises to US!), grace, coffee..... and most importantly her life changing call to the ministry! I wish her partner, Lanny, was more of a 3 dimensional character in the book. I think a follow up to this book would be an interesting memoir or set of essays on mixed-faith marriage and mixed-faith parenting. I look forward to more insights from Katie.
As a Utah-born, Southern-raised woman whose lifelong relationship with Mormonism now waxes and wanes, this book plucked at my spiritual core.
Langston pointedly articulates the Mormon pull toward community and heritage as something both beautiful and life-giving as well as exclusive and shame-ridden, holding the tradition accountable for the harms it has caused to so many of us. In the same breath, her memoir is neither oversimple nor reductive: Mormonism is an undeniable piece of her story, and in this, the book offers solace, solidarity, and a different kind of community to readers for whom this is also (and will ever be) true.
Her honesty, transparency, and clarity of narrative are powerful, and her ultimate transformation of the word “sealed” (a term integral to the Mormon vernacular) into a means of capturing the concept of Godly grace will be a special gift to readers along the Mormon/post-Mormon spectrum.
Katie's struggle with doubt ("The Questions") is a universally relatable battle, especially in religious contexts. What is less universal is the author's journey to deepen and refine her faith rather than abandoning it altogether after enduring harrowing religious trauma.
In a world where secularism and nihilism are often safer schools of thought than the shallow teachings and predatory cultures of most modern Christian churches, "Sealed" is a refreshing and articulate story of a woman who dares to wonder and finds peace and faith as a result. Even more than that, it is story of a relentless, intellectual pursuit to find positive meaning and general goodness among even the harshest realities of religion.
I thoroughly enjoyed this book. The author writes about complex topics in an approachable way. All in all, this book took me two plane rides and an extra hour or two to complete. I finished it feeling comforted and curious, but mostly hopeful.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
I bought the book as a gift for someone who wanted to know more about Mormons. This memoir did that, in a very personal way: telling of the author's thoughts and questions. She tells of other "rebel" Mormons, mostly women since they have a lesser role in the religion. (One way to rebel is to have a cup of coffee! "God doesn't care if I have a cup of coffee." ) Langston's journey is certainly unusual in that she ends up in a Lutheran seminary! AND maintains her marriage.
Langston describes the difference between a religion of rules and regulations and a religion of grace.
I should note that I am now Lutheran myself, and a key point in Langston's journey was when a speaker, from my Wheaton College alma mater, told her that he knew his deficiencies, but couldn't live without forgiveness and without the love of God." p. 153 THAT is grace.
After reading several books that were marred by typos and sloppy writing as well as being poorly organized, it was an absolute delight to read a book as well written as this one. Oh, for the days of high publication standards!
This is a heartwrenching story of finding one's way through the harmful but well meaning rules and rituals that many young women face. (Yes, that sentence alone is subject to debate but we won't go there in this review.) In this case Langston finds grace after battling the restrictions of Mormonism. Her writing is beautiful, meaningful, and evocative. Those words fail to adequately describe the power of this memoir. Highly recommend. I hope Langston finds a place alongside Anne Lamott, Barbara Brown Taylor, Nadia Bolz-Weber, and Rachel Held Evans, to name a few influencial spiritual writers.
The stamp I would place on the front of this book is - remember it is one person's memoir - a person diagnosed with OCD/scrupulosity. The conservative and strict upbringing in Mormonism, the teachings from church leaders and in her home were very much the same for me and yet her brain processed them very differently. She's certainly not alone, I personally know others who have struggled with similar experiences but I would say the majority of LDS members who read or listen to this book will wonder, as I have, if we grew up in the same religion. Katie's a deep thinker and empath and I was fascinated by her journey. I believe she will touch many people's lives as she becomes an ordained minister.
Katie Langston writes with refreshing bluntness and vulnerability in her candid and, at times brutally self-exposing, memoir of her spiritual journey from the expectant confines of orthodox Mormonism to the liberating epiphany of grace. Filled with both self-effacing humor and tension, with prayers and profanity, the humanity on display is both deeply personal and consummately relatable for any who have emerged from a high-demand religion and whose call to wander the pilgrim’s path has culminated in one powerful and at times frightening word: reconciliation.
What a beautifully written memoir by new author Katie Langston. Having grown up in the Mormon church, her life was written out for her in a way she never questioned, until she did. This is a heartfelt read about how one can write their own story with questions, and bumps, and confusion along the way. This is also a book that was hard to put down. (It took me a little while because of other books I was reading at the time.)
Disclaimer, I know the author from graduate school, but I purchased this book, and read it without any of her influence.
Katie invites us along as she tells her story with raw honesty. She tells her story of growing up Mormon in Utah, wrestling with doubts and fears, never quite fitting in, and slowly being embraced by grace. Sealed invites us to journey along with Katie as she navigates expectations, hopes and doubts. Anyone who has doubted and wrestled with their faith will find a kindred spirit in these pages. I certainly did.
A raw and heartfelt memoir that does an excellent job of highlighting the differences between the Mormon church and mainline Christianity. As a non-Mormon, it was fascinating to learn about that culture. As a lifelong Lutheran, it was a neat experience to see an adult step into that faith tradition. It gave me a new appreciation for many of the Lutheran things that I've always taken for granted.
Langston shares not only the theological rites of the Mormon church but also the man-made rituals with the emotional turmoil that they create in some followers. Yet through her journey she found a deeper understanding of God and love for Jesus Christ. The reality of the church's control over every-day life as a Mormon is almost cult-like. Enlightening for Christians and a must read for those struggling with the Mormon faith.
I picked up Sealed because I am acquainted with the author and was interested in reading about her spiritual journey. What I didn't realize was how much the book would speak to me. This is a beautiful testimony to God's grace, useful for anyone, Mormon or not, who struggles with feeling worthy. I highly recommend it.
This book is lovely. Katie’s writing it beautiful, her storytelling is honest and compelling. She put words to pieces of my life that I haven’t been able to look at directly and as I read her words, it excavated painful bits of my own experiences that have still needed to be held and healed. I loved reading her journey and reflecting on my own - so similar and distinct at the same time.
This is an excellent book about faith, doubt and grace. I highly recommend it. I could not stop until I was finished. There was so much I could identify with even though unlike the author I don’t have a conversion story. I’m grateful to serve in the ELCA as an ordained pastor and honor Katie Langton’s deep call to ministry.
Well written, interesting subject. As former Mormon myself, I could easily relate to many of the situations. A tortuous long journey in search of spiritual tranquility. Although for me the prose at some points became a little repetitive, is definitely well written. As I understand is her first book. Will be nice to see her displaying her literary talents in a completely different subject.
As a former member of the Mormon church and an actor, so much of this book resonated with me. While my journey has taken a less faith driven direction, Katie’s earnest, honest, and love filled memoir is beautiful. Highly recommend listening to the audiobook narrated by Katie herself.
I very much enjoyed this memoir about the author’s journey through and out of the Mormon church. It especially illustrates how religion combined with anxiety/ocd can often result in damaging scrupulosity.
I appreciated Langston's spiritual thoughtfulness and was struck by the words, "I imagined I must not speak, in order to preserve, impossibly, my chance to speak. I nearly wretched on the feelings I forced myself to swallow."
This book was truly a gift. It was a literal gift to me and I am already thinking of all the friends I want to share it with. Katie's writing is also a gift. It is simple but beautiful and soothed my own heart and soul. This book was exactly what I needed in this moment.