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Sometimes They Get Away and That's OK - A Motivational Guide to Supernatural Mayhem
Welcome to your new (un) life. Through whatever means, magical, scientific, or whatever, you’ve been instilled with life, as well as a deep yearning to deprive others of theirs. Congratulations! Adjusting to your new reality as a remorseless death machine can be tough. That’s why we’re here. (We hope you still have eyes to read it, as the braille edition is currently unavailable.) Who are we? Don’t worry about that, you’ve got killing to do. Read on to learn to be the best supernatural killer you can be!
103 pages, Kindle Edition
First published July 1, 2019
21 people are currently reading
9 people want to read
About the author
Noah K. Sturdevant
20 books66 followersHello. If you're reading this, you've just discovered the map of Sweden tattooed on the inside of of your nose and have learned the dark secret of your powers.
Sorry, wrong message. Maybe.
If you're looking to know more about me, I'd suggest you check out my webpage, twitter, or just ask me a question, via goodreads.
Or, if you're a Facebookian, check me out at
https://www.facebook.com/groups/noahk...
Also, do not trust the three-toed librarian. She has an agenda of her own.
Sorry, wrong message. Maybe.
If you're looking to know more about me, I'd suggest you check out my webpage, twitter, or just ask me a question, via goodreads.
Or, if you're a Facebookian, check me out at
https://www.facebook.com/groups/noahk...
Also, do not trust the three-toed librarian. She has an agenda of her own.
Ratings & Reviews
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Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews
June 21, 2019
Excellent
Completely unique concept!
Prior to this book’s publication, I have never read a book on this subject. I am extremely impressed. It’s very hard to find something “new under the sun.” I think Mr. Sturdevant is onto something!
If you like horror movies, sarcasm, mystery science theatre 3000, mysteries, thrillers and psychology then this book is for you. It’s a view of the resurrected serial killer and his reason for “living.” I think it helps us look into the psyches of serial killers of the world and what/who directs and assists them in their “after death life.”
It’s a great read — hysterical, sarcastic and satirical (with some horror, gore and mystery thrown into spice things up!) I strongly recommend you stop reading this review and start reading the book!
I look forward to the sequel, please.
Completely unique concept!
Prior to this book’s publication, I have never read a book on this subject. I am extremely impressed. It’s very hard to find something “new under the sun.” I think Mr. Sturdevant is onto something!
If you like horror movies, sarcasm, mystery science theatre 3000, mysteries, thrillers and psychology then this book is for you. It’s a view of the resurrected serial killer and his reason for “living.” I think it helps us look into the psyches of serial killers of the world and what/who directs and assists them in their “after death life.”
It’s a great read — hysterical, sarcastic and satirical (with some horror, gore and mystery thrown into spice things up!) I strongly recommend you stop reading this review and start reading the book!
I look forward to the sequel, please.
June 20, 2019
Amusing
A fun and, mostly, light hearted monster guide from the monster's point of view. Imagine if you actually got to read The Book of the Dead from Beetlejuice then you get the idea. Most of the advice leans toward the twentieth and twenty -first century pop culture mass killer, but many of the scenarios are timeless. If you enjoy a tounge-in-cheek stab at modern slasher films and urban legends, you'll enjoy this book!
A fun and, mostly, light hearted monster guide from the monster's point of view. Imagine if you actually got to read The Book of the Dead from Beetlejuice then you get the idea. Most of the advice leans toward the twentieth and twenty -first century pop culture mass killer, but many of the scenarios are timeless. If you enjoy a tounge-in-cheek stab at modern slasher films and urban legends, you'll enjoy this book!
June 17, 2019
Timely
I'm so thankful this guide arrived when it did. My previous three incarnations ended embarrassingly quickly, as I was so unprepared for my mission.
When the crow arrived with the most updated version, I finally realized why my undead peers teased me about "missing the crow" when I returned to the den so soon after each engagement with the living.
The guide offers practical advice and actionable tips that have left me ready to face lucky incarnation number four with confidence!
I'm so thankful this guide arrived when it did. My previous three incarnations ended embarrassingly quickly, as I was so unprepared for my mission.
When the crow arrived with the most updated version, I finally realized why my undead peers teased me about "missing the crow" when I returned to the den so soon after each engagement with the living.
The guide offers practical advice and actionable tips that have left me ready to face lucky incarnation number four with confidence!
June 19, 2019
Very interesting
A skewed look at horror tropes from the viewpoint of the supernatural undead killer, this guide has left me curious to read the suggested guides for the other supernatural creatures should the writer ever finish them.
A skewed look at horror tropes from the viewpoint of the supernatural undead killer, this guide has left me curious to read the suggested guides for the other supernatural creatures should the writer ever finish them.
June 20, 2019
Original! Funny! Irreverent! A great short read that will have you laughing. I love the inspirational quotes. Kind of reminds me of the required reading in the corporate world.
June 17, 2019
Lots of funny bang for your buck
I had a lot of fun reading this book. It is short, but a lot of laughs. Especially love the inspirational quotes.
If you are looking for a short, fun read, this is it
I had a lot of fun reading this book. It is short, but a lot of laughs. Especially love the inspirational quotes.
If you are looking for a short, fun read, this is it
June 18, 2019
So funny!
If you like spoofs, you'll love this little gem. Silly & entertaining, while explaining all the rules & reasons behind murder movies. The quotes are hilarious, as well as the names for the murderers.
If you like spoofs, you'll love this little gem. Silly & entertaining, while explaining all the rules & reasons behind murder movies. The quotes are hilarious, as well as the names for the murderers.
June 19, 2019
Very entertaining
It was a good quick read. It did have me thinking of ways you could have taken it further. Who knows, maybe a sequel.
It was a good quick read. It did have me thinking of ways you could have taken it further. Who knows, maybe a sequel.
June 18, 2019
So funny!
This was so funny and easy to read!!! I love the FAKS!! I could not put it down!. I read it in 1 night (who needs to sleep!)
This was so funny and easy to read!!! I love the FAKS!! I could not put it down!. I read it in 1 night (who needs to sleep!)
July 1, 2019
Interesting
This has to be the ultimate guide for the undead serial killer. It's got everything from the costume to wear in an afterlife rampage to PR tips for the new supernatural vigilante. It's kind of awesome.
Perfect reading for Freddie Kreuger and Frankenstein alike. As for readers, I wouldn't recommend it, If a) you are tolerant of killer clowns or b) you consider a top hat appropriate for a leprechaun seeking revenge. Other than that stipulation, you might enjoy a light hearted read. The quotes are killer.
This has to be the ultimate guide for the undead serial killer. It's got everything from the costume to wear in an afterlife rampage to PR tips for the new supernatural vigilante. It's kind of awesome.
Perfect reading for Freddie Kreuger and Frankenstein alike. As for readers, I wouldn't recommend it, If a) you are tolerant of killer clowns or b) you consider a top hat appropriate for a leprechaun seeking revenge. Other than that stipulation, you might enjoy a light hearted read. The quotes are killer.
July 2, 2019
kindle unlimited, {see goodreads & amazon for full list, including PPD series started by John P. Logson, ones in Noah's series & rest readable, too, of course.
Very odd, but then so is writer.
Very odd, but then so is writer.
August 16, 2019
Well that’s different
But good, very fun. It’s a quick read but most handbooks are so it all works out. Any more guides in the works?
But good, very fun. It’s a quick read but most handbooks are so it all works out. Any more guides in the works?
August 10, 2019
Hilariously twisted. Who knew freshly reanimated supernatural baddies would need a self help book? Obviously, those responsible for this publication.
Beautifully crafted to handle all of the contingencies any new slasher flick villain may face once (re)facing this world. Funny as hell, and thoughtful providing for the wants and needs of this constantly overlooked demographic.
Beautifully crafted to handle all of the contingencies any new slasher flick villain may face once (re)facing this world. Funny as hell, and thoughtful providing for the wants and needs of this constantly overlooked demographic.
July 29, 2019
Five stars!
This was hilarious! It was everything the bio said it would be and more! It’s just long enough to brighten up your day without taking hardly any time out of it. If you were in a funk or you need some of the best satire to break it up, this is your book!
This was hilarious! It was everything the bio said it would be and more! It’s just long enough to brighten up your day without taking hardly any time out of it. If you were in a funk or you need some of the best satire to break it up, this is your book!
July 18, 2020
This one was a quick, fun read.
I used to like watching the slasher movies from the 70s and 80s when I was a teenager. This book enhanced those memories by adding the possibility of a starter's manual for my favorite fictional killers.
I used to like watching the slasher movies from the 70s and 80s when I was a teenager. This book enhanced those memories by adding the possibility of a starter's manual for my favorite fictional killers.
September 20, 2020
A cute little murder guide
This is the most hilarious guide I've ever read. Such a novel idea, full of sarcasm and wit. The perfect guide for the undead killer!
This is the most hilarious guide I've ever read. Such a novel idea, full of sarcasm and wit. The perfect guide for the undead killer!
November 5, 2019
Good fun!
May 10, 2022
Loved It
I super enjoyed this user friendly guide. I let up a chuckle more than once. Reading thus made my day and cheered me up.
I super enjoyed this user friendly guide. I let up a chuckle more than once. Reading thus made my day and cheered me up.
October 9, 2022
The comedy horror how to for freshly risen slashers. Everything you ever wanted to know about being an undead vengeance machine looking to get their start.
Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews