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Twice a Daughter: A Search for Identity, Family, and Belonging
Julie is adopted. She is also a twin. Because their adoption was closed, she and her sister lack both a health history and their adoption papers―which becomes an issue for Julie when, at forty-eight years old, she finds herself facing several serious health issues.
To launch the probe into her closed adoption, Julie first needs the support of her sister. The twins talk things over, and make a pact: Julie will approach their adoptive parents for the adoption paperwork and investigate search options, and the sisters will split the costs involved in locating their birth relatives. But their adoptive parents aren't happy that their daughters want to locate their birth parents―and that is only the first of many obstacles Julie will come up against as she digs into her background.
Julie's search for her birth relatives spans years and involves a search agency, a PI, a confidential intermediary, a judge, an adoption agency, a social worker, and a genealogist. By journey's end, what began as a simple desire for a family medical history has evolved into a complicated quest―one that unearths secrets, lies, and family members that are literally right next door.
To launch the probe into her closed adoption, Julie first needs the support of her sister. The twins talk things over, and make a pact: Julie will approach their adoptive parents for the adoption paperwork and investigate search options, and the sisters will split the costs involved in locating their birth relatives. But their adoptive parents aren't happy that their daughters want to locate their birth parents―and that is only the first of many obstacles Julie will come up against as she digs into her background.
Julie's search for her birth relatives spans years and involves a search agency, a PI, a confidential intermediary, a judge, an adoption agency, a social worker, and a genealogist. By journey's end, what began as a simple desire for a family medical history has evolved into a complicated quest―one that unearths secrets, lies, and family members that are literally right next door.
283 pages, Kindle Edition
Published May 11, 2021
194 people are currently reading
3345 people want to read
About the author
Julie Ryan McGue
4 books53 followersJULIE RYAN Mc GUE is an American writer. Her award-winning memoir, Twice a Daughter: A Search for Identity, Family, and Belonging released in May 2021. It is about the five-year search that she and her twin sister undertook to find their birth relatives. On her weekly blog, “That Girl This Life,” Julie writes about finding out who you are, where you come from, and making sense of it. Her work has appeared in the Story Circle Network Journal, Brevity, Imprint, Adoption.com, Lifetime Adoption, Adoption & Beyond, and Severance Magazine. Personal essays appear in several anthologies: REAL WOMEN WRITE: Seeing Through Her Eyes, and Art in the Time of Unbearable Crisis.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 164 reviews
December 23, 2023
A true story where Julie, after enduring a health scare, starts to search for her birth mom and birth father. The reader follows Julie's journey as she fights to uncover her truth. Will she find her birth mom and dad? Will they meet her with open arms? Will she find them before it's too late?
Julie Ryan McGue's debut novel, the plot of this book was very intriguing - it had child abandonment issues, obstacles, set-backs, a health crisis, a debate over a right to privacy versus a right to know. The author clearly has an extensive vocabulary with a wide range of words. However, the pacing was a bit off in this book. It was told in the first person, but it would have been better written from third person. Additionally, the story telling could have been crafted and fine tuned. For example, Julie would be waiting for a phone call and the reader is just waiting for the phone to ring. Instead, the editor should have cut right to the phone ringing. The author also could have punched up the drama a bit by adding a bit of foreshadowing like "Little did I know that this conversation would delay my search by 3 years."
Overall, Twice a Daughter is a solid debut novel and did challenge my ideas around what to disclose to my family regarding my own personal health situation. Best wishes to the author in her future writing endeavors and wishing her many years of healthy bliss to come!
*Thank you NetGalley for a free copy of this book in exchange for my fair and honest opinion.
2024 Reading Schedule
Jan Middlemarch
Feb The Grapes of Wrath
Mar Oliver Twist
Apr Madame Bovary
May A Clockwork Orange
Jun Possession
Jul The Folk of the Faraway Tree Collection
Aug Crime and Punishment
Sep Heart of Darkness
Oct Moby-Dick
Nov Far From the Madding Crowd
Dec A Tale of Two Cities
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Julie Ryan McGue's debut novel, the plot of this book was very intriguing - it had child abandonment issues, obstacles, set-backs, a health crisis, a debate over a right to privacy versus a right to know. The author clearly has an extensive vocabulary with a wide range of words. However, the pacing was a bit off in this book. It was told in the first person, but it would have been better written from third person. Additionally, the story telling could have been crafted and fine tuned. For example, Julie would be waiting for a phone call and the reader is just waiting for the phone to ring. Instead, the editor should have cut right to the phone ringing. The author also could have punched up the drama a bit by adding a bit of foreshadowing like "Little did I know that this conversation would delay my search by 3 years."
Overall, Twice a Daughter is a solid debut novel and did challenge my ideas around what to disclose to my family regarding my own personal health situation. Best wishes to the author in her future writing endeavors and wishing her many years of healthy bliss to come!
*Thank you NetGalley for a free copy of this book in exchange for my fair and honest opinion.
2024 Reading Schedule
Jan Middlemarch
Feb The Grapes of Wrath
Mar Oliver Twist
Apr Madame Bovary
May A Clockwork Orange
Jun Possession
Jul The Folk of the Faraway Tree Collection
Aug Crime and Punishment
Sep Heart of Darkness
Oct Moby-Dick
Nov Far From the Madding Crowd
Dec A Tale of Two Cities
Connect With Me!
Blog Twitter BookTube Facebook Insta
May 11, 2021
When Julie Ryan McGue, a mother of four children, faced serious health issues that could include a cancer diagnosis, she had to agree with her husband Steve that obtaining her full medical history was necessary. In 1959, Julie and her identical twin sister Jenny had been adopted through Catholic Charities, and were grateful for the policy that required twins remain together, they were raised in a loving home. However, the twin’s adoption was “closed”. The privacy of their birth parents was legally protected, it could be impossible to obtain any vital medical information. “Twice A Daughter: A Search for Identity, Family, and Belonging” (2021) is McGue’s courageous memoir of her search to gain access to her birth records and learn her medical history.
The International Soundex Reunion Registry (ISRR) is the International non-profit humanitarian agency database that supports efforts of adults to reunite with next-of-kin by birth. McGue entered her information and hoped for results. Each case is an individual as a fingerprint, and not all birthparents are eagerly seeking their lost biological children, or welcome the possibility of hearing from them. Any unwanted adopted individual can carry the sorrow and the emotional scars of rejection, which is truly heartbreaking.
An experienced adoption counselor explained to McGue that if she could talk to a birth mother that initially refused contact with her adult child, more often than not, contact was established. In 2017, the ability to discover genetic history through DNA testing was widely advertized and available to the public through several online registry’s that offered affordable DNA testing kits. In addition to genetic testing, McGue hired a genealogist, who she referred to as her “intermediary and esteemed search angel”-- she was able to extract additional clues from the minimal information provided, which was really interesting. Overall, this is a heartwarming story of search and discovery, of love, acceptance, and unwavering support within biological and adoptive family members. **With thanks to She Writes Press via NetGalley for the DDC for the purpose of review.
The International Soundex Reunion Registry (ISRR) is the International non-profit humanitarian agency database that supports efforts of adults to reunite with next-of-kin by birth. McGue entered her information and hoped for results. Each case is an individual as a fingerprint, and not all birthparents are eagerly seeking their lost biological children, or welcome the possibility of hearing from them. Any unwanted adopted individual can carry the sorrow and the emotional scars of rejection, which is truly heartbreaking.
An experienced adoption counselor explained to McGue that if she could talk to a birth mother that initially refused contact with her adult child, more often than not, contact was established. In 2017, the ability to discover genetic history through DNA testing was widely advertized and available to the public through several online registry’s that offered affordable DNA testing kits. In addition to genetic testing, McGue hired a genealogist, who she referred to as her “intermediary and esteemed search angel”-- she was able to extract additional clues from the minimal information provided, which was really interesting. Overall, this is a heartwarming story of search and discovery, of love, acceptance, and unwavering support within biological and adoptive family members. **With thanks to She Writes Press via NetGalley for the DDC for the purpose of review.
March 2, 2021
An amazing memoir.
I actually first heard about this book from another Netgalley member. She posted in a memoirs group that she was reading an ARC, and it sounded like my sort of book. I grabbed it from Netgalley, started it, and found it impossible to put down. It was a really interesting and unpredictable read.
This is a combination of medical, and adoption memoir. It starts out where the author has had some tests, and it seemed not all was well. She'd had other medical issues in the past few years, too. She thinks it's time she pursued her family history; to get some answers; to see if these conditions were passed on through the genes. In tracing her birth mother and father, and their medical history, could she help her own children from developing these illnesses?
Julie, and twin sister Jenny had tried to find information about their biological parents 18 years ago, and had drawn a blank at that time. When they're nearing their 50s, it's time to try again. Family history, intrigue, possible family secrets emerging.....I love this type of book. This is often an emotional and involving read; there will be many twists and turns on their journey. It involves many years of searching and piecing clues together, yet the pace never let up; there were no filler flowery phrases, it was all vital, and a breathtaking journey.
A really excellent book, so interesting, and you just don't know what's going to happen next; which way things will go.
An amazing memoir.
I actually first heard about this book from another Netgalley member. She posted in a memoirs group that she was reading an ARC, and it sounded like my sort of book. I grabbed it from Netgalley, started it, and found it impossible to put down. It was a really interesting and unpredictable read.
This is a combination of medical, and adoption memoir. It starts out where the author has had some tests, and it seemed not all was well. She'd had other medical issues in the past few years, too. She thinks it's time she pursued her family history; to get some answers; to see if these conditions were passed on through the genes. In tracing her birth mother and father, and their medical history, could she help her own children from developing these illnesses?
Julie, and twin sister Jenny had tried to find information about their biological parents 18 years ago, and had drawn a blank at that time. When they're nearing their 50s, it's time to try again. Family history, intrigue, possible family secrets emerging.....I love this type of book. This is often an emotional and involving read; there will be many twists and turns on their journey. It involves many years of searching and piecing clues together, yet the pace never let up; there were no filler flowery phrases, it was all vital, and a breathtaking journey.
A really excellent book, so interesting, and you just don't know what's going to happen next; which way things will go.
An amazing memoir.
November 12, 2021
This is a remarkable memoir told by Julie and her resounding and resilient effort to find her birth parents. She and her twin sister were put up for closed adoption with Catholic charities. They were adopted by an amazing family; however, due to cancer scares she needs to find health records to her birth parents. This book taught me so much about the adoption process and how difficult it is to find out necessary medical information one may need. Toward the end of the book I was crying with delight.
November 5, 2021
This memoir is quite different in that it reads like a mystery and let me say how much I miss seeing chapter titles in books! The author, Julie Ryan McGue, is an adoptee who always knew but never felt the need to seek her birth parents until later in life when she’s dealt with medical issues. She and her identical twin, Jenny, begin the process. We follow along their emotional journey and can’t help but feel a part of their extended family. Thank you to Books Forward, the author, and She Write Press for a gifted copy. This is my honest review.
April 23, 2023
Julie became obsessed about her health and concluded these problems were due to not knowing who her birth parents were. I found her expectations totally absurd. I’m not adopted but neither do I know much about the health issues in my extended family. In the end, couldn’t she and her twin - who seemed not to have any health issues - simply have taken the gene test they finally did, to figure out if they were in danger of getting breast cancer?
Despite having a degree in psycholgy, she was so little emphatic about what those involved felt and extremely demanding that what she wanted was what everybody should agree to. Somebody said in another review : “being 50 years old, she seemed a stubborn teenager”. What struck me most was her lack of understanding of the circumstances of their adoption: “My adoptive mother told we were baptised at the church, we were told we were fraternal twins”….etc. etc. Well, the adoptive family had only the information they were given by the agency and it was certainly not their fault, if it was not correct.
There was also totally unnecessary repetition or “recapping” of what had already been explained before. It gave the reader a feeling of getting a lesson from a school teacher : “now remember these main important points”. The writing was bookish and the titles of the chapters were too revealing.
Despite having a degree in psycholgy, she was so little emphatic about what those involved felt and extremely demanding that what she wanted was what everybody should agree to. Somebody said in another review : “being 50 years old, she seemed a stubborn teenager”. What struck me most was her lack of understanding of the circumstances of their adoption: “My adoptive mother told we were baptised at the church, we were told we were fraternal twins”….etc. etc. Well, the adoptive family had only the information they were given by the agency and it was certainly not their fault, if it was not correct.
There was also totally unnecessary repetition or “recapping” of what had already been explained before. It gave the reader a feeling of getting a lesson from a school teacher : “now remember these main important points”. The writing was bookish and the titles of the chapters were too revealing.
November 16, 2021
When Julie is faced with some significant medical diagnoses, she decides to find out more about her adoption, hoping to fill in the blanks for her and her fraternal twin sister.
I loved how Julie was sensitive to her parents' feelings. I often feel that the parents who raised the adopted child often get hurt the most, and I appreciated how very considerate Julie was on her quest for answers. Unfortunately her consideration wasn't enough and I could feel her mom's heartbreak.
Julie's quest was both lengthy and laborious, with more than 50 years having elapsed since her adoption. It was problematic trying to get to the information she was after and she encountered multiple dead ends.
This is a well written memoir, and often times it felt like a novel, which is a good thing in my book.
As a fellow Chicagoan, I loved that it took place in Chicagoland. I also loved the small town feel of the lovely Midwest.
I loved how Julie was sensitive to her parents' feelings. I often feel that the parents who raised the adopted child often get hurt the most, and I appreciated how very considerate Julie was on her quest for answers. Unfortunately her consideration wasn't enough and I could feel her mom's heartbreak.
Julie's quest was both lengthy and laborious, with more than 50 years having elapsed since her adoption. It was problematic trying to get to the information she was after and she encountered multiple dead ends.
This is a well written memoir, and often times it felt like a novel, which is a good thing in my book.
As a fellow Chicagoan, I loved that it took place in Chicagoland. I also loved the small town feel of the lovely Midwest.
October 3, 2021
How I read this: Free ebook copy received from a publicist
4.5 stars
I thought Twice a Daughter would be a slow evening read – since it’s an audio, I’d listen for a half an hour each evening and be done within the month. Was I mistaken! Finished it in less than a week. The book really drew me in and I just couldn’t stop.
It’s written well, and I enjoyed the narration too. The author is open and sincere, and it just draws you into her and her sister’s story. It's also full of ups and downs. I had FEELINGS on the part of the sisters, and even though I finished the book already, I still have those same feelings regarding some of the stuff that happened. I simply couldn’t stay a passive reader.
The story really does draw you in. And it makes you realize how lucky you truly are, if you’ve never had to ask yourself the questions these women had to ask themselves. The author goes through some emotions and reasonings a lot of us will never have had the chance to feel, and she explains it all very well. So this book is kind of an experience, not just an evening or two reading.
Also, I have to say – what a story. Truly, how unbelievable some coincidences in it were! Stories like this make you wonder, were those REALLY coincidences? Or maybe there’s more to the world than we can see and understand? Otherwise, how can these stories work out better than even the craziest movie scripts?
Here's my full review of this audiobook:
https://avalinahsbooks.space/twice-a-...
I thank the publicist and author for giving me a free copy of the ebook in exchange to my honest review. This has not affected my opinion.
Book Blog | Bookstagram | Bookish Twitter
4.5 stars
I thought Twice a Daughter would be a slow evening read – since it’s an audio, I’d listen for a half an hour each evening and be done within the month. Was I mistaken! Finished it in less than a week. The book really drew me in and I just couldn’t stop.
It’s written well, and I enjoyed the narration too. The author is open and sincere, and it just draws you into her and her sister’s story. It's also full of ups and downs. I had FEELINGS on the part of the sisters, and even though I finished the book already, I still have those same feelings regarding some of the stuff that happened. I simply couldn’t stay a passive reader.
The story really does draw you in. And it makes you realize how lucky you truly are, if you’ve never had to ask yourself the questions these women had to ask themselves. The author goes through some emotions and reasonings a lot of us will never have had the chance to feel, and she explains it all very well. So this book is kind of an experience, not just an evening or two reading.
Also, I have to say – what a story. Truly, how unbelievable some coincidences in it were! Stories like this make you wonder, were those REALLY coincidences? Or maybe there’s more to the world than we can see and understand? Otherwise, how can these stories work out better than even the craziest movie scripts?
Here's my full review of this audiobook:
https://avalinahsbooks.space/twice-a-...
I thank the publicist and author for giving me a free copy of the ebook in exchange to my honest review. This has not affected my opinion.
Book Blog | Bookstagram | Bookish Twitter
August 14, 2023
Thank you to BooksForward PR and Netgally for my gifted copy.
Memoirs are my favourite type of nonfiction. Twice a Daughter is Julie's story as she searches for her birth parents after experiencing a medical scare. This is not an easy process and comes with many highs and lows and emotional challenges for herself, her twin sister and family.
It's an intriguing story, especially the discussion of the adoption laws regarding the right to know their birth details versus the rights of privacy for the birth parents. Told in the first person, it is a slower-paced read with minimal tension coming through the writing even during what I am sure were very tense moments.
While the topic is fascinating, the book wasn't a match with my personal reading style from a delivery perspective, but know others will connect well with it.
.
Memoirs are my favourite type of nonfiction. Twice a Daughter is Julie's story as she searches for her birth parents after experiencing a medical scare. This is not an easy process and comes with many highs and lows and emotional challenges for herself, her twin sister and family.
It's an intriguing story, especially the discussion of the adoption laws regarding the right to know their birth details versus the rights of privacy for the birth parents. Told in the first person, it is a slower-paced read with minimal tension coming through the writing even during what I am sure were very tense moments.
While the topic is fascinating, the book wasn't a match with my personal reading style from a delivery perspective, but know others will connect well with it.
.
February 22, 2021
Wow, what a breathtaking - heart wrenching read. Julie we see has medical issues. Yet she can’t fully let the doctors know what her family health problems are. She’s adoptive, that leads her on a long journey to find her biological parents. Lead after lead gets her no where. Until finally she gets a tip that has her making leeway. Will all her and her twins hard work pay off.
April 15, 2022
I really enjoyed this true story and was along for the ride, sweaty palms and all as she gradually learned bits 'n' pieces of hers and Jenny's shared past. You so want her to get to the bottom of it and for there to be a happy ending. She had some proper old nonsense to go through to get there, however......but for my way of thinking, if a mother chose a closed adoption it was to keep things on the down-low and therefore it is wrong, really, that laws can change in later years and go against this. I can see it from both sides. Of course Julie wanted, and needed, to know certain things about her genetics but was it her right ?? I don't believe it was.
It shares parallels with the sperm-donor doctors I've read about in recent years. How that is coming back to haunt them, like it or not...and it isn't right. It would probably be better if you didn't mess about like this in the first place, but they did and now the offspring can trace who donated the sperm. It isn't fair. Plus it all becomes very murky indeed regarding who is related to who.....I personally don't agree with it. Anyhow, I digress.....
I felt somewhat sorry for her mum especially in this, as she wasn't happy about it but neither would I have been after raising a child for over half a century and then get more than a little left out and overlooked while she searches for a parent who gave her up !! And yes, she had her reasons but I still understood how her mum must have been really hurt by it and I didn't approve of some of Julie's later decisions in leaving her out of the loop.
Julie also slated some of the agencies she initially worked with, but in fairness she started the search and then pretty much dropped it again for a couple of years, so wasn't THAT proactive herself. She also repeats things quite a lot and we hadn't forgotten !!
I have knocked it down a star because her maths left me highly irritated. They were born February 1959 yet she tells us they're celebrating their 51st birthdays in 2011.....then again later on in 2012 she said it was their 52nd birthdays. Again wrong by my maths. That should've been picked up !!
This phrase was an odd one but perhaps it's how they speak in America. She says, "....the birthday person also had the honor of selecting whatever main course fancied them"......and later she refers to Jenny's use of a waiter's name and looking him in the eye as something she must get taught in the corporate world, when I just considered that to be common politeness !! Then she shakes her head in agreement as opposed to nodding. As for errors, there aren't too many, a missed hyphen, affect used and not effect, I googled KPER list and couldn't find a definition nor of cubbies and the odd apostrophe was misplaced, so not too horrendous.
I was dying to know who was who on the cover photo and we never got told, which was a pity, and a shame she didn't include photos in the book as well. However, I looked her up via Instagram so got to see who I'd read about.
I enjoyed being taken along for the ride and it was an intriguing tale, however.
It shares parallels with the sperm-donor doctors I've read about in recent years. How that is coming back to haunt them, like it or not...and it isn't right. It would probably be better if you didn't mess about like this in the first place, but they did and now the offspring can trace who donated the sperm. It isn't fair. Plus it all becomes very murky indeed regarding who is related to who.....I personally don't agree with it. Anyhow, I digress.....
I felt somewhat sorry for her mum especially in this, as she wasn't happy about it but neither would I have been after raising a child for over half a century and then get more than a little left out and overlooked while she searches for a parent who gave her up !! And yes, she had her reasons but I still understood how her mum must have been really hurt by it and I didn't approve of some of Julie's later decisions in leaving her out of the loop.
Julie also slated some of the agencies she initially worked with, but in fairness she started the search and then pretty much dropped it again for a couple of years, so wasn't THAT proactive herself. She also repeats things quite a lot and we hadn't forgotten !!
I have knocked it down a star because her maths left me highly irritated. They were born February 1959 yet she tells us they're celebrating their 51st birthdays in 2011.....then again later on in 2012 she said it was their 52nd birthdays. Again wrong by my maths. That should've been picked up !!
This phrase was an odd one but perhaps it's how they speak in America. She says, "....the birthday person also had the honor of selecting whatever main course fancied them"......and later she refers to Jenny's use of a waiter's name and looking him in the eye as something she must get taught in the corporate world, when I just considered that to be common politeness !! Then she shakes her head in agreement as opposed to nodding. As for errors, there aren't too many, a missed hyphen, affect used and not effect, I googled KPER list and couldn't find a definition nor of cubbies and the odd apostrophe was misplaced, so not too horrendous.
I was dying to know who was who on the cover photo and we never got told, which was a pity, and a shame she didn't include photos in the book as well. However, I looked her up via Instagram so got to see who I'd read about.
I enjoyed being taken along for the ride and it was an intriguing tale, however.
November 4, 2021
When Julie McGue receives a concerning medical diagnoses, she decides that it is time to begin the search for her birth family. This memoir chronicles the many year journey she took to find her birth parents and the obstacles she overcame to do so.
I really appreciated Julie’s complete honesty and candidness in writing this book. There are many topics that come up, such as her adoptive mother’s feelings about the situation, her birth mother’s reluctance to give up information on her birth father and legal issues that arise during the course of the search. Julie does not shy away from these topics and gives and open and honest look into the adoptive parent search.
I would highly recommend this book for anyone who may be beginning their own such search, or anyone who is interested in family dynamics, or just a true-story about searching for beginnings. Julie’s writing style is easy to read and absorb and she manages to write this memoir in a page-turning style. I listened to this book on audio and will also add that the narrator did a great job. So much so that I didn’t realize it wasn’t the author reading the book until the very end when they mentioned the narrator.
5 stars, highly recommend, thank you for sharing your story with us, Julie.
Special thanks to Netgalley and She Writes Press for this Advanced Reader Copy in exchange for an honest review.
I really appreciated Julie’s complete honesty and candidness in writing this book. There are many topics that come up, such as her adoptive mother’s feelings about the situation, her birth mother’s reluctance to give up information on her birth father and legal issues that arise during the course of the search. Julie does not shy away from these topics and gives and open and honest look into the adoptive parent search.
I would highly recommend this book for anyone who may be beginning their own such search, or anyone who is interested in family dynamics, or just a true-story about searching for beginnings. Julie’s writing style is easy to read and absorb and she manages to write this memoir in a page-turning style. I listened to this book on audio and will also add that the narrator did a great job. So much so that I didn’t realize it wasn’t the author reading the book until the very end when they mentioned the narrator.
5 stars, highly recommend, thank you for sharing your story with us, Julie.
Special thanks to Netgalley and She Writes Press for this Advanced Reader Copy in exchange for an honest review.
May 12, 2021
Thank you BooksForwardPR for the gifted copy.
Nonfiction is a genre I don't read a lot of but I find that memoirs helps to bridge that gap. Being able to get an inside glimpse into someone's life and get a new perspective is always so eye-opening and while I might think I don't have anything in common with the author, I always end up finding something that resonates with me.
As soon as I saw this book by Julie Ryan McGue I just knew I wanted to read it. While the adoption story was intriguing, it was more the issue of not having a medical history that really drew me to this story. I come from a large family and know how important it is to know everyone's medical history and keep passing it down the line, so I can only imagine the frustration that Julie must have felt in not being able to access hers.
After a health scare, Julie realizes that she needs her complete medical history and she and her twin sister embark on a search for their birth parents. I admired Julie's tenacity in not giving up her search for her birth parents after hitting road block after road block. It highlights the stark contrast in the adoption laws regarding the right to know their birth details versus the rights of privacy on the side of the birth parents. There were hard conversations to have with her adoptive parents and support wasn't always there. Luckily Julie and her sister made a great team and her husband and her kids were always there for her.
This book was such an eye-opening read and I appreciated just how open and honest the author was each step of the way with how she was feeling - it is definitely written from the heart. If you enjoy reading memoirs, I highly suggest picking this one up.
You can see all my reviews at: https://alwayswithabook.blogspot.com
Nonfiction is a genre I don't read a lot of but I find that memoirs helps to bridge that gap. Being able to get an inside glimpse into someone's life and get a new perspective is always so eye-opening and while I might think I don't have anything in common with the author, I always end up finding something that resonates with me.
As soon as I saw this book by Julie Ryan McGue I just knew I wanted to read it. While the adoption story was intriguing, it was more the issue of not having a medical history that really drew me to this story. I come from a large family and know how important it is to know everyone's medical history and keep passing it down the line, so I can only imagine the frustration that Julie must have felt in not being able to access hers.
After a health scare, Julie realizes that she needs her complete medical history and she and her twin sister embark on a search for their birth parents. I admired Julie's tenacity in not giving up her search for her birth parents after hitting road block after road block. It highlights the stark contrast in the adoption laws regarding the right to know their birth details versus the rights of privacy on the side of the birth parents. There were hard conversations to have with her adoptive parents and support wasn't always there. Luckily Julie and her sister made a great team and her husband and her kids were always there for her.
This book was such an eye-opening read and I appreciated just how open and honest the author was each step of the way with how she was feeling - it is definitely written from the heart. If you enjoy reading memoirs, I highly suggest picking this one up.
You can see all my reviews at: https://alwayswithabook.blogspot.com
February 11, 2021
“When I enter the kitchen the large table is set for four and I find my seat at one end and another worry enters my mind: I hope I haven’t waited too long.” In 2008 Julie Ryan McGue had a health scare. Wanting to have a more accurate picture of her medical history since she was adopted, she, along with her twin sister Jenny, embarked on a quest to find their biological parents. She meticulously records the odyssey in Twice a Daughter: A Search for Identity, Family, and Belonging.
I read McGue’s book with great interest. Family history, sleuthing, and solving mysteries all hold great appeal. The author painstakingly reveals each step, some easy, some littered with many obstacles. She is honest with her emotions, which ran the gamut from anxiety, rejection, confusion, anger, and joy. I was somewhat surprised at her bristly attitude toward her adopted mother, Jeanne. McGue seemed at times impatient and even a little dismissive of her mother’s reactions and emotions.
At the launch of each new chapter I eagerly dove in, unsure what would surface, but impatient to discover. Although supported by her twin, McGue spearheaded the majority of the project, from online research, fielding phone calls, and finding new avenues of outreach. Her search can serve as a provisional self-help guide to others attempting to find their own answers concerning adoption, especially in Illinois. I was unaware of much of the nuances of the process, procedure, and legal wrangling.
Two of the most significant reveals were quite ironic. McGue documents just how close her adopted family was, at times, to some of her biological relatives. And, a DNA test proved she and Jenny were identical twins, not fraternal as their adopted parents had been told by the nuns. Initially when I read they were fraternal twins, I was confused, since it was clear to me from the cover picture they were identical.
McGue sought answers about her unknown family history for medical reasons, but also for clues pertaining to her own identity. She found some of the answers, but had to accept that others remained beyond her reach. I enjoyed the experience of peeking into the personal lives of her family, during a very emotional journey. Twice a Daughter is a testament to evolving social norms, eradicating the former shame of illicit pregnancy, and a recognition of family bonds.
Story Circle Book Reviews thanks Janilyn Kocher for this review.
I read McGue’s book with great interest. Family history, sleuthing, and solving mysteries all hold great appeal. The author painstakingly reveals each step, some easy, some littered with many obstacles. She is honest with her emotions, which ran the gamut from anxiety, rejection, confusion, anger, and joy. I was somewhat surprised at her bristly attitude toward her adopted mother, Jeanne. McGue seemed at times impatient and even a little dismissive of her mother’s reactions and emotions.
At the launch of each new chapter I eagerly dove in, unsure what would surface, but impatient to discover. Although supported by her twin, McGue spearheaded the majority of the project, from online research, fielding phone calls, and finding new avenues of outreach. Her search can serve as a provisional self-help guide to others attempting to find their own answers concerning adoption, especially in Illinois. I was unaware of much of the nuances of the process, procedure, and legal wrangling.
Two of the most significant reveals were quite ironic. McGue documents just how close her adopted family was, at times, to some of her biological relatives. And, a DNA test proved she and Jenny were identical twins, not fraternal as their adopted parents had been told by the nuns. Initially when I read they were fraternal twins, I was confused, since it was clear to me from the cover picture they were identical.
McGue sought answers about her unknown family history for medical reasons, but also for clues pertaining to her own identity. She found some of the answers, but had to accept that others remained beyond her reach. I enjoyed the experience of peeking into the personal lives of her family, during a very emotional journey. Twice a Daughter is a testament to evolving social norms, eradicating the former shame of illicit pregnancy, and a recognition of family bonds.
Story Circle Book Reviews thanks Janilyn Kocher for this review.
February 16, 2021
Twice a Daughter follows the story of pair of identical twins, Julie and Jenny, adopted at birth together by the same couple, who begin the search for their birth parents at mid-life in an attempt to fill in the blanks surrounding their genetic medical history.
This true-life drama was absorbing, and I was interested in the challenges Julie and Jenny faced due to the ongoing conflict between the right to know their birth details, and the rights of others involved to privacy, and how these factors played out in the legal processes involved.
The story is told from Julie’s perspective as she takes the lead in the search, and flows along relatively quickly. There is a vulnerability we glimpse as Julie struggles with deep identity issues resulting from the feelings which surface around being unwanted and not important to her birth parents, and in particular, her birth mother. Overall, though, the story is told almost briskly, and although I cheered for Julie and wanted her search to be successful, there was a definite sense of entitlement pervading the memoir that I felt was unsympathetic. I would have appreciated the story more if the author could have widened her perspective to include more sensitivity and nuance to help us appreciate the experiences, fears, traumas and issues of all the family members involved - including both birth and adoptive relatives.
Overall this was an enjoyable read and it definitely made me feel for the multiple challenges faced by adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive families.
A big thank you to NetGalley, the publisher She Writes Press, and the author for an advance review copy of this book.
This true-life drama was absorbing, and I was interested in the challenges Julie and Jenny faced due to the ongoing conflict between the right to know their birth details, and the rights of others involved to privacy, and how these factors played out in the legal processes involved.
The story is told from Julie’s perspective as she takes the lead in the search, and flows along relatively quickly. There is a vulnerability we glimpse as Julie struggles with deep identity issues resulting from the feelings which surface around being unwanted and not important to her birth parents, and in particular, her birth mother. Overall, though, the story is told almost briskly, and although I cheered for Julie and wanted her search to be successful, there was a definite sense of entitlement pervading the memoir that I felt was unsympathetic. I would have appreciated the story more if the author could have widened her perspective to include more sensitivity and nuance to help us appreciate the experiences, fears, traumas and issues of all the family members involved - including both birth and adoptive relatives.
Overall this was an enjoyable read and it definitely made me feel for the multiple challenges faced by adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive families.
A big thank you to NetGalley, the publisher She Writes Press, and the author for an advance review copy of this book.
February 14, 2021
Thank you to NetGalley for a free ARC of this book!
The author, an adult adoptee, does a very good job of telling a very complicated story. There is emotion at every turn.
The subject of adoption, search, reunion, and acceptance or rejection is extremely difficult for the non-adopted public to understand. That is the only reason I rated this gripping narrative four stars. I came away with the feeling that some aspects of search and reunion were not explained in enough detail for the general public to grasp.
As an adoptee myself, roughly the same age as the author and her twin sister, I understood everything she was saying. This is a very good search and reunion story, and I urge everyone interested in this subject to read it.
The author, an adult adoptee, does a very good job of telling a very complicated story. There is emotion at every turn.
The subject of adoption, search, reunion, and acceptance or rejection is extremely difficult for the non-adopted public to understand. That is the only reason I rated this gripping narrative four stars. I came away with the feeling that some aspects of search and reunion were not explained in enough detail for the general public to grasp.
As an adoptee myself, roughly the same age as the author and her twin sister, I understood everything she was saying. This is a very good search and reunion story, and I urge everyone interested in this subject to read it.
September 12, 2021
My biggest takeaway from this book was that I felt SO SORRY for the adoptive parents of this set of adopted twin girls - giving them a wonderful, loving family and a safe and beautiful community in which to live with other siblings just wasn't enough for (mostly) Julie, the author.
Had this book not have been recommended by a lovely friend who is a friend of Julie's, I would not have finished it. I wonder why Julie doesn't understand the hurt she likely caused her adoptive parents (especially her mother), despite what they've said about the topic.
Had this book not have been recommended by a lovely friend who is a friend of Julie's, I would not have finished it. I wonder why Julie doesn't understand the hurt she likely caused her adoptive parents (especially her mother), despite what they've said about the topic.
March 1, 2021
Congratulations to Julie for writing a page turning heart felt life story! She captures the emotional roller coaster her journey took her! This is a wonderful story of family, resiliency, faith and kindness! The ending is Hollywood like! Enjoy reading a story where good things happened to good people!!
June 8, 2021
Got a little tedious
November 11, 2021
Adoption stories never fail to tug at my heart. Although I’m not adopted, nor am I an adoptive parent, I am a mother. And this stirred up many feelings and questions within me.
Julie and her twin sister Jenny were adopted at birth in 1959. They were raised by loving and caring parents.
At age 48, Julie is facing a medical scare as she awaits the result of a breast biopsy. It is then that she realizes the importance of knowing her biological families’ medical history. She sets out to find her birth parents and any information she can, if not only for herself but for her children as well.
Julie’s investigation, with the help of her sister, stretches out over five years. One of the biggest hurdles is that their adoption was closed, so lawyers, judges, and social workers must get involved. And of course, it’s emotional; how will this affect their parents, and will their birth mother and father even want to make contact?
𝐓𝐰𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐚 𝐃𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐞𝐫 is an endearing search for a daughter’s answers. It is important to know our roots, our origins but never forgetting who loved us along the way.
Thank you to @suzyapprovedbooktours @shewritespress and @julieryanmcgue for an invite to the tour and a gifted copy.
Julie and her twin sister Jenny were adopted at birth in 1959. They were raised by loving and caring parents.
At age 48, Julie is facing a medical scare as she awaits the result of a breast biopsy. It is then that she realizes the importance of knowing her biological families’ medical history. She sets out to find her birth parents and any information she can, if not only for herself but for her children as well.
Julie’s investigation, with the help of her sister, stretches out over five years. One of the biggest hurdles is that their adoption was closed, so lawyers, judges, and social workers must get involved. And of course, it’s emotional; how will this affect their parents, and will their birth mother and father even want to make contact?
𝐓𝐰𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐚 𝐃𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐞𝐫 is an endearing search for a daughter’s answers. It is important to know our roots, our origins but never forgetting who loved us along the way.
Thank you to @suzyapprovedbooktours @shewritespress and @julieryanmcgue for an invite to the tour and a gifted copy.
November 24, 2021
When I read memoirs, I look for ones that will cocoon me and truly move my heart and soul. This was one such memoir and I’m happy to have had the chance to read this one. Especially as someone who has a biological sister somewhere out there.
I followed Julie through her search for her birth parents. I turned page after page, feeling myself becoming a part of Julie’s journey as if it was my own. I felt myself wondering about my mom and her decision to put my sister up for adoption. The journey was hope filled, humor filled, surprising and emotional.
I am glad to have had the chance to read this one. I liked the writing style of Julie McGue. She chiseled her story in a beautiful way and really captured me. This is a 4 star worthy read and I highly recommend this one.
*I received a complimentary copy of this book from the Author/Publisher and was under no obligation to post a review, positive or negative.*
I followed Julie through her search for her birth parents. I turned page after page, feeling myself becoming a part of Julie’s journey as if it was my own. I felt myself wondering about my mom and her decision to put my sister up for adoption. The journey was hope filled, humor filled, surprising and emotional.
I am glad to have had the chance to read this one. I liked the writing style of Julie McGue. She chiseled her story in a beautiful way and really captured me. This is a 4 star worthy read and I highly recommend this one.
*I received a complimentary copy of this book from the Author/Publisher and was under no obligation to post a review, positive or negative.*
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September 19, 2023Memoir written by an identical twin who was surrendered in a closed adoption that decides after a midlife health scare to search for her birth family. Julie's adoptive parents provided a stable and happy life, which perhaps makes it all the more painful when she decides to go on this journey her twin Jenny is interested in but certainly not compelled toward in the same way.
Julie's opens up about her feelings of rejection and anger that privacy is more important than knowledge after so many decades have passed. The pain that exists in layers permeates throughout generations when a culture refuses to support women in raising their own children, even if the separation didn't result in mistreatment. For anyone interested in an honest examination of the feelings adopted children experience, this is a tender place to visit.
Julie's opens up about her feelings of rejection and anger that privacy is more important than knowledge after so many decades have passed. The pain that exists in layers permeates throughout generations when a culture refuses to support women in raising their own children, even if the separation didn't result in mistreatment. For anyone interested in an honest examination of the feelings adopted children experience, this is a tender place to visit.
June 15, 2021
Given up for adoption as babies this leaves twins Julie and Jenny with some questions, so begins a mystery begging to be solved aka who are the birth parents? Why did they give up their twins? Are there other siblings out there in the world? Did they stay together?
All of these questions are begging to be answered in this book, knowing this was a real search for truth and identity kept me reading through the night for answers. Every roadblock the author hit I felt deep in my gut!
The writing sucked me in and I left this book feeling happy that they got some resolution for a journey that started mostly due to trying to get a full health background after a cancer scare.
4 Stars
I received a free copy of this book via netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
All of these questions are begging to be answered in this book, knowing this was a real search for truth and identity kept me reading through the night for answers. Every roadblock the author hit I felt deep in my gut!
The writing sucked me in and I left this book feeling happy that they got some resolution for a journey that started mostly due to trying to get a full health background after a cancer scare.
4 Stars
I received a free copy of this book via netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
December 19, 2021
This is a great book about a woman's search for her biological parents. The author is honest with all the problems and emotions that she experiences.
June 8, 2021
An engrossing, eye-opening account. Having lost my mom young and later being adopted by my stepmother, I related to the author's longing and curiosity, as well as her frustration and anger at points. Her story sheds much needed light on the bureaucratic and emotional hurdles that adoptees face in trying to uncover their identity. As in the case of this author, there can be real ramifications for health, not knowing facts of medical history, in addition to profound emotional impact. Decisions made by others, decades earlier, determine whether adoptees have access to the information that the rest of us take for granted about our ancestry and identity.
July 26, 2022
I always enjoy reading adoption memoirs, no matter the viewpoint.
This was from the adopted child and her search for and finding both her
birth parents. It was a little different than most I have read, but I enjoyed it.
This was from the adopted child and her search for and finding both her
birth parents. It was a little different than most I have read, but I enjoyed it.
September 15, 2021
A fascinating read about a dedicated adopted twin looking for her birth parents in order to find a more complete medical history, and in the process, she is dedicated and persistent to find the answers and her journey takes you through the struggles of unlocking some answers. Thank you for the ARC of this book #TwiceaDaughter #NetGalley
May 14, 2021
Full review at: https://readingourshelves.com/2021/05...
When the story begins, Julie is actually resistant to the idea of trying to find her birth parents. She is largely afraid of rocking the boat with the parents who raised her. Her husband, Steve, pushes her into starting this journey, though – for her own health, and that of their four children.
She gets her twin sister to agree to split the costs with her, but Julie is going to be the person doing the work. Her dad is supportive from the beginning, but her mom is not.
While initially interested only in medical histories, Julie becomes more engrossed in the emotional aspects of her search – wondering why her birth parents gave her up, if they’ll want to meet, and whether or not she has half-siblings.
Even after trying to obtain her original birth certificate, she hits one road block after another. The first one is a big one: Her mom used an alias on her original birth certificate, and the father isn’t listed at all. Apparently this was easier to do back in the 1950s.
Working in her favor, as far as the records are concerned, is that she is a twin. There could only be so many sets of twins born on a given day at a given hospital, right?
Also working in her favor are a lot of sympathetic people within the courts, Catholic Charities, and other avenues Julie tries to reach out to for help. In addition, the family members she eventually locates often bristle at the intrusion at first – but then soften because they have adopted members of their current families, and can understand the issues from both sides.
The issues at play are, of course, the birth parents’ rights to privacy versus the adoptees’ rights to know their history.
Most of Julie’s search takes place around a decade ago. She and her sister do use a DNA-testing kit to see if that gets them any leads, but to no avail. I have to imagine that the increase in use of such sites (and kits) in recent years is now shaking up the implied privacy that birth parents assumed they had in earlier eras.
(Backlist bump on that topic: “Inheritance” by Dani Shapiro.)
Overall, this was a good read. Not too heavy, but it can tug at the heartstrings here and there. It might be even more emotional for you if you’ve gone through something similar.
This book was published through She Writes Press, and I was able to read an Advance Reader’s Copy through Books Forward.
When the story begins, Julie is actually resistant to the idea of trying to find her birth parents. She is largely afraid of rocking the boat with the parents who raised her. Her husband, Steve, pushes her into starting this journey, though – for her own health, and that of their four children.
She gets her twin sister to agree to split the costs with her, but Julie is going to be the person doing the work. Her dad is supportive from the beginning, but her mom is not.
While initially interested only in medical histories, Julie becomes more engrossed in the emotional aspects of her search – wondering why her birth parents gave her up, if they’ll want to meet, and whether or not she has half-siblings.
Even after trying to obtain her original birth certificate, she hits one road block after another. The first one is a big one: Her mom used an alias on her original birth certificate, and the father isn’t listed at all. Apparently this was easier to do back in the 1950s.
Working in her favor, as far as the records are concerned, is that she is a twin. There could only be so many sets of twins born on a given day at a given hospital, right?
Also working in her favor are a lot of sympathetic people within the courts, Catholic Charities, and other avenues Julie tries to reach out to for help. In addition, the family members she eventually locates often bristle at the intrusion at first – but then soften because they have adopted members of their current families, and can understand the issues from both sides.
The issues at play are, of course, the birth parents’ rights to privacy versus the adoptees’ rights to know their history.
Most of Julie’s search takes place around a decade ago. She and her sister do use a DNA-testing kit to see if that gets them any leads, but to no avail. I have to imagine that the increase in use of such sites (and kits) in recent years is now shaking up the implied privacy that birth parents assumed they had in earlier eras.
(Backlist bump on that topic: “Inheritance” by Dani Shapiro.)
Overall, this was a good read. Not too heavy, but it can tug at the heartstrings here and there. It might be even more emotional for you if you’ve gone through something similar.
This book was published through She Writes Press, and I was able to read an Advance Reader’s Copy through Books Forward.
May 27, 2021
Adoption has been an important part of my family in several ways, including my husband and I adopting one of our sons. Although adoption stories are highly individual and there is no formula for determining outcomes or human reactions, I thought this was an engaging story of the multi-year search conducted by the author and her twin for their birth parents. The author's health issues, possible breast and uterine cancer, prompted her search for health reasons, as she felt she could make better decisions for herself if she knew her family background. But in 1959, when the twins were adopted, adoption was a very closed and secretive process. The author determinedly worked through many roadblocks, including a less than enthusiastic response by her adoptive mother, to get her answers. The narrative is personal, well-written, and captivating.
May 20, 2021
I was given an ARC of this book and it sat on my night table until one night recently and then, wham- i read the book in 2 days. what a treat! Im a psychologist and although I have heard a lot of stories about adoption, Julie's story touched me deeply-- -- her themes of abandonment and betrayal criss cross my own life and the lives of so many of my patients. Julie's strength and determination despite having two mothers who were unsupportive was inspiring. Julie writes with clarity, conviction and compassion and the book was riveting-she made me think again about the era of her adoption and the legacy of shame surrounding unwed mothers, mothers who cannot conceive and children who were adopted and must grapple with the mystery of their birth. Congratulations Julie, thank you for sharing your profound story.
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