I’ve always felt clearer in motion…chasing a conflagration of all the things I wanted to feel: the rip of gravity, independence, and interdependence, the adrenaline that comes from risk. Skiing, at its simplest, is the feeling of slipping past gravity. Skiers chase snow and freedom and wildness, at the expense of a lot of other things.
More than half of regular skiers earn annual incomes of over $100,000, and eighty-seven percent of them are white.
Snow is alchemy, the exact right mix of cold, water, and air. You can feel the difference of man-made—the stiffness and the catch—and the unbroken crystals of newly fallen fresh. Snow is sound, too, the creaky stick of cold storms, the ball-bearings swish of slush corn or the crackle of rime ice. That thing about the thousand words for snow is right.
I read this book to try to understand skiing and skiers better and hoping for some descriptions of snow from someone who knows it intimately. The book is incredibly depressing, so know that going in. The author hit everything though, from sexism, racism, elitism, death, suicide, addiction, to capitalism and environmentalism, and there is not one area where skiing made it better. Not one. So nothing surprised me, but gave me greater depth to some of the impressions I have gained over my 20 years living in Denver and knowing a lot of skiers and some ski bums more peripherally, like a photographer on instagram or friends of friends.
I can’t remember what I thought about skiing before moving here, but I do remember being surprised at how few skiers hike or spend time in the mountains outside of skiing. For them, it is the dopamine rush, and the partying, and the idea they are escaping the grind, the 9-5 life. But skiing is as close to flying you can get, even more than bicycling, so I do understand and have compassion for them. I don’t know how to help them, though. It is an addiction and the addict has to want to change before we can even try.
So overall, a really clear eyed look that may get the author shunned from the community, it was that honest. There were about 5 interesting descriptions of places I will never truly be, and I am fine with it, a back bowl with a lip and sheer drop off. It is cheating death. I have been sobered this year by a couple and their dog who died snowshoeing by avalanche at a place I have been to, and just last winter, I was less than a mile away from where they died, on snowshoes, debating the angles of the hills and my dog’s exuberant desire to run a little, knowing it could trigger an avalanche. I was careful, only went a little ways, and survived. So many of us do survive, but that hit too close to home, and in fact, they died along a summer hiking route I love, and I think I know exactly where. So we all cheat and tempt death in small and big ways, but I think the dopamine rush is the difference; I might get some hits along a gorgeous hike but not from danger or speed, from beauty and mindfulness and breathing deeply and that could be the difference.
When Ivan said he could get me a job in Colorado, where all I would really have to do was ski every day, my life pivoted toward a particular grimy dream. I don’t believe in God or fate, but some tangled part of me got sucked into a modern manifestation of the frontier fantasy, problematic as it might be. I latched on to the idea that if I went west I would be braver and truer and more exciting. I wanted an adventure I could call my own, and a way to grow up with the country. A path that feels hard to find now that so much is commodified and mapped. I just needed someone to tell me it could be real. 1893, historian Frederick Jackson Turner made a speech about the frontier myth, and what he called Westering, shaped by Horace Greeley’s credo of “Go west, young man,” and of growing up with the country—an expression he borrowed from writer John Babsone Lane Soule. Turner said American identity was directly based in the exploration of the Wild West, and that it was a citizen’s duty to go forth, explore, and claim. That’s a white, colonialist construct that erases Native American history, and it’s thankfully fallen out of favor….There’s a jingoistic reason why I still say “back East,” and I know I’m not the only one.
Ski resorts grappled with a conflicting tension to feel both adventurous and safe, a dichotomy that still exists today. Resorts try to preserve some of their mountain ruggedness, but they also have to manage risk. Ski mountains are carefully manicured to feel wild.
I can feel the hum of devotion, but I know that it takes a lot of life geometry to get there.
One of the women tells me it feels like dancing to her, this relationship with the mountains, moving downhill, finding the soft spots and the curves. She says she’s searching to fill some kind of emptiness when everything else feels commercialized and too close. Being here lets her be wild and in her body.
Psychologists say that the best way to deal with climate grief is to go to the places that restore you, to remind yourself of the tenacity of our connection to land. But that’s extra painful when those spots that are supposed to sustain you can’t hold snow anymore. Temperature-wise, Aspen could be Amarillo by the end of the century if warming continues as it has.