Tyger Barnes ‘Boss’ at 49 is the new Tenillo Chief of Police, having served 10 years for second-degree murder (they didn’t have enough evidence to prosecute him for the other three murders they’d accused him of) or he’d still be serving time, in the small town where he’d been a cop. He’d been released without a family, home, or job.
“Good day, Chief,” Sin called out with a nod as I stood up from the table.
“Don’t encourage them.”
“You just threw down the gauntlet with some of the stubbornest men in the state, and you don’t think they’re going to figure out a way to prove you wrong? You’re sadly mistaken, Boss. You’re going to be wearing a badge come January 1st.”
“If that happens, I’ll be sure and deputize you, if I’m going down, I’m taking you with me.”
Jennifer at 44, had been married to Ethan until one day she was paid an unexpected visit by his paramour, home-wrecker Barbie. They’d met five years ago when he was a guest lecturer at her computer technology class at UW. He took her to dinner that night, and they’ve been together ever since.
“Connie, Farrah’s not applying for a job with the company; she’s here for the trophy wife position. She can’t have any coffee because she’s pregnant with Ethan’s baby.”
BOSS
“Mr. Barnes, it is the ruling of the court that because of your excellent standing as a member of the Tenillo community,that your conviction and subsequent time served in prison be expunged from your record. I’ll be happy to welcome you as chief of police when you take office.”
I turned and glanced at the men in the row behind my chair in the courtroom and saw that every single one was smiling. For months, they’d been harping about making me the top cop and had even gone so far as to start campaigning on my behalf. Last month, I’d nearly wrecked my motorcycle when I glanced up and saw my face on a billboard with the caption, “Elect Tyger Barnes for Tenillo Chief of Police.” It was then that I realized the old geezers were serious about this shit.
Last week, I’d been greeted at the gas pump outside a local convenience store by a man who said, “Good morning, Chief Barnes!”
Without lifting a finger, giving a single speech or doing a damn thing to help, I’d won the election the day before. People expected me to take office at the beginning of next year, but that couldn’t happen with my record.
When I’d been contacted yesterday afternoon by one of my friends and club brothers, Captain, regarding today’s court proceedings, I’d gone along with it, thinking no judge in his right mind would expunge the record of a convicted murderer. I’d get out of taking office on a technical default and then I’d be free and clear. Even my lawyer was an ex-con, for Christ’s sake. Captain, or Auggie Brass as the rest of the world called him, earned his law degree while he served 20 years for murder, but that didn’t seem to bother any of the people he represented or the court we were standing in now.
Pop and his cronies had taken care of my felony record right along with my election. I'd almost bet that they enjoyed the irony of having another murderer represent me today.
Jennifer inherited a Rooster when she purchased her house, an ornery Rooster named Ed Earl. For some reason, the rooster had fallen head over heels for her and liked to be right by her side all the time. Luckily, her dog, the animal that was supposed to be her constant companion, didn’t give a shit that he’d been replaced. If anything, he enjoyed the time off. Although, if I started taking Ed Earl out in the truck instead of Moe, there might be a problem.
Considering that the rooster was bigger than my beagle, I wasn’t positive who would come out the winner of that fight.
“He thinks he’s your pet, and you’re his human.”
Boss
“I was married. Happily married. We were high school sweethearts. It was just like in the movies: I was the football captain, and she was the cheerleader. We got married fresh out of high school and had our daughter not long after that. Seven months after that, actually.” Jenn started to say something, but I squeezed her hand just a bit, and she stopped so I could finish. “I was a cop and had been for 10 years. I was moving up in the ranks even though I wasn’t quite as easy to get along with as some of the men in my department. By easy to get along with, I mean I didn’t turn a blind eye when I saw something wrong going on. I was approached by another officer who offered me money to forget some details on a report I was writing. When I refused, he told me that if I knew what was good for me, I’d never testify in court. I told him to f*ck off. A month later, I was scheduled to testify against the man. While I was at work, three men broke into my house. They took my 16-year-old daughter and my wife hostage. From what I found out later, the men were ordered to take them away and keep them safe until after the trial. Without my testimony, the man would walk, and by taking my family, he knew I’d cooperate.”
“They didn’t keep them safe. They didn’t even take them out of our house. When I got off shift, I went home and found my wife and my daughter dead. They’d both been violated by more than one man and then beaten before they were shot. I laid my wife and my baby girl to rest side by side in the plots my wife and I had bought for ourselves. After that, I went to the officer who’d tried to stop me from testifying, and I beat him until he told me who was behind what happened to my family. A few days after that, I was arrested for putting the cop in the hospital. Before I could even hire a lawyer, they charged me with the murder of a man who had previous convictions of burglary and rape. He was one of the men that broke into my house. I pleaded no contest for a lesser sentence and was convicted and spent 10 years in prison. I got out five years ago and moved to Tenillo where Pop helped me adjust to life out in the world. He gave me a job, a home, and the will to keep going, just like he’s done for all the other men in my club.”
Jennifer
She has a double major in computer science and business, she’d returned to school and received a degree in business law because she didn’t trust the lawyer her husband had chosen for their company.
Ethan
They had a prenup that his mother insisted on because she always thought that I would turn out to be a ‘cheating whore’ - those were her exact words. Since he was the one that got caught cheating, that backfired on both of them, and I got everything in the divorce. He had to move in with his girlfriend. I guess, considering that the baby came out looking like another man, that stream has dried up. He’ll stay in town thinking I’ll come crawling back.”
“He’s that stupid?”
“He’s that stupid, but he’s also broke as a joke and knows I’ve got all his money,” I confirmed with a wry grin.
“If that’s the case, I’m going to tell my brothers about him and let them play with the new squeaky toy too,” Wrecker assured me before he started walking toward his patrol car. “You and your girl go back in the house and have a glass of wine. Boss will be here as soon as his meeting’s over, I’m sure.”
Paula (hysterically funny)
“I don’t believe that I’ve ever been in the presence of that much hotness or testosterone at one time, I think my ovaries released at least three eggs, which is crazy considering I had a hysterectomy four years ago.”
I burst out laughing and turned to look at my friend. She was staring down the road wistfully. She slowly turned her head and looked at me before she said, “I want one.”
“Pick one out, and I’ll see what I can do. There are more to choose from, just so you know. That was only four of Boss’s club brothers; there are four more.”
“I’d hate to choose and make one of them feel left out. I’ll just have one a day and two on Sundays. I’ll be a legend because I’ll be the first woman to die from an orgasm overdose, but what a way to f*cking go.”