Everything Happens for a Reason

by Katie Allen

Mum-to-be Rachel did everything right, but it all went wrong. Her son, Luke, was stillborn and she finds herself on maternity leave without a baby, trying to make sense of her loss. When a misguided well-wisher tells her that 'everything happens for a reason', she becomes obsessed with finding that reason. She remembers that on the day she discovered her pregnancy, she'd stopped a man from jumping in front of a train, and she's now certain that saving his life cost her the life of her son. Desperate to find him, she enlists an unlikely ally in Lola, an Underground worker, and Lola's six-year-old daughter, Josephine, and eventually tracks him down, with completely unexpected results...

Genres: Fiction, Contemporary

408 pages, Paperback

First published April 10, 2021

About the author

I grew up in Warwickshire and now live in South London with my husband, children, dog, cat and stick insects. My first novel, Everything Happens for a Reason, was published in 2021 and praised for its mix of humour, honesty and raw emotion. My second book, Happy is the One, will be published in January 2025.

I write fiction with autobiographical elements, and I hope to touch on experiences that many of us grapple with. My upcoming novel, Happy is the One, draws on the challenges of caring for a sick parent and coming to terms with childhood losses.

My first novel drew on my experience of stillbirth - a topic I hope to bring out of the shadows. Our son, Finn, was stillborn in 2010, and my grief and the experience of being on maternity leave without a baby inspired my main character in Everything Happens for a Reason. And yes, as with my character, someone did say to me “Everything happens for a reason”, driving me to distraction but ultimately fuelling this novel.

I used to be a reporter and columnist at the Guardian and Observer, and started my career as a Reuters correspondent in Berlin and London.

When I'm not writing or walking children and dogs, I love baking, watching comedies, reading news and wishing I had written other people’s brilliant novels. I also love quiz shows and forcing friends to do quizzes and I waste hours meandering on the web - but I put that to some use by appearing on the TV show Pointless with my brother Nic.

I love books by A M Homes, Michael Frayn, Siri Hustvedt, Sarah Winman, Maria Semple and George Orwell. I don’t think I will ever get tired of re-watching The West Wing, The Blues Brothers or Back to the Future.

If you like ginger cats and/or vain dogs you can follow me and my pets on Instagram (monkey_and_miko)

Reviews

[Cathy · Rating 3 out of 5]

The publishers describe Everything Happens for a Reason as “a heart-wrenching portrait of grief” and a “gloriously uplifting and disarmingly funny story”. If you’re sceptical that those two things can exist side by side in a book then think again because somehow the author manages it.

The book is structured as a series of emails from Rachel to a recipient who is initially unidentified but whose identity the reader will soon guess. The format works well, allowing the reader to get inside her mind even if that is a troubling place to be. Having said that, I did marvel at Rachel’s ability to recall conversations in word for word detail.

Her early emails reveal the sad details of her daily life which she has filled with small tasks, all planned to a strict routine and aimed at simply getting her from one day to the next. Akin to the effort of putting one foot in front of the other when you’re absolutely exhausted. Although it might sound intrusive, I actually felt reading the emails made me feel a connection with Rachel as if by being a witness to her grief I was also part of a silent, unseen support network.

As the book reveals, grief can be a lonely place. Rachel’s husband Ed (often referred to simply as ‘E’) is mostly absent, either at work or travelling on business. Often their communication is limited to text messages or notes left pinned to the fridge. There are brief glimpses of his own grief and I did find myself feeling it was shame Ed and Rachel couldn’t communicate with each other as openly as Rachel does in her emails. London Underground employee, Lola, is the one person who, despite initial appearances, appreciates what Rachel is going through and gives her practical help and support. Through Lola, Rachel forms a relationship with Lola’s daughter, Josephine.

When Rachel becomes convinced there is a connection between the man she saved and the loss of her son, her emails recount her efforts to trace him. When she does, Rachel embarks on a mission to make his life of value, as if that can replace the positive impact on the world she’s sure her son would have had. Unfortunately, Ben is not a brain surgeon saving countless others lives but a dog walker. However, that doesn’t deter Rachel and she comes up with a plan for a joint business venture. But is her idea a valuable service, an astute identification of a gap in the market or the sign of her need to control events? I felt unsettled by how much she invests in it, both emotionally and financially, especially given I couldn’t really warm to Ben.

Despite the sad events underpinning the story, there are moments of humour. For example, Rachel’s unspoken response to the question about whether the ginger biscuits she’s brought to a prayer meeting are vegan. Or, when returning on the Tube and finding herself quietly repeating a phrase she’s heard at the meeting, her observation that ‘There’s nothing unusual about chanting “all in God’s plan” on the Northern line’.

The most powerful element of the book for me was the way it demonstrated just what an impact ill-thought-out words and deeds can have on someone going through what Rachel is, what she describes at one point as being ‘haunted by other people’s clumsy words’. Something for us all to bear in mind, I think.

[Isabella May · Rating 5 out of 5]

EHFAR is a triumph. For too many years the mainstream publishing world has shied away from any kind of story with a stillbirth narrative. I know this first hand through my own encounters and experiences. So Kudos to Orenda Books for being the change. And kudos to Katie Allen for penning this absolutely exquisite novel.

I understand that I am one of the first stillbirth parents to read the story - and I am deeply honoured.

This is a clever and multifaceted book. Because grief is not one-dimensional. It doesn’t follow a set pattern. It is not one-size-fits-all.

Particularly this very unique kind of baby loss.

It is a tale of loss, yes; it is deeply moving, too. You will, at times, need tissues. But it is also a book of hope and ambition and making sense of the world, a tale of acting spontaneously, living in the moment and throwing caution to the wind. The cast of characters is so 3D you could touch them.

It is witty. Wonderfully and acceptably so. At times there was something Danny Wallace-meets-Bridget Jones about the funny bits. In fact, the story (brilliantly told in email form) calls for this specific brand of dry humour. This is what makes the poignant bits sharper. It makes the heartbreaking bits hit home harder. It makes everything flow. Therein lies the beauty.

Through Rachel’s story, the author articulates so many little things that I’ve never even spoken about with my circle of baby loss mums. Maybe I always assumed them inconsequential, something to quietly grin and bare? Now I know that they weren’t. Now I know I was not alone. Somehow, this has enabled me to de-ice my own deeply buried thoughts and experiences over the past few days as I’ve immersed myself in the narrative.

The people list is one example...

And this line will stay with me:

“Every day they stayed silent, they made you feel smaller.”

I also felt sorry for a lot of people after my baby died. I didn’t realise that until Rachel Summers, EHFAR’s MC pointed it out to me:

I felt sorry for the midwife who told me my baby had no heartbeat, I felt sorry for the two midwives who saw me through the twenty-one hour labour. One of them ‘hoped she wouldn’t see me again’ after she’d gone home for her supper and her sleep and returned the next day after breakfast. Unfortunately, I let her down. We were still very much there.

I felt horrendously sorry for her. It was the first stillbirth she had encountered. There was no adequate training eleven years ago, as there is now via charities such as SANDS. There was no bereavement suite. You gave birth next door to screaming, healthy babies and jubilant parents. You tried to numb the pain of your turmoil.

I felt the weight of all of these strangers’ grief more than my own in the early days.

I felt sorry for the vicar. She called us when we were in Blockbusters picking out a DVD. We couldn’t decide between Mamma Mia and something else. The vicar wanted us to decide on psalms and readings. Right there in the middle of Blockbusters. I felt sorry for her timing.

I felt even more sorry for her when she mistakenly referred to our daughter as Sophie. Twice. During the burial.

“She’s called April,” my mum corrected her over and over.

I felt so embarrassed for her. Maybe it was her first stillbirth burial? Maybe it was her first baby burial? I felt her pain as sharply as the frostbitten January ground beneath my feet as we gathered around the tiny hole and I held my tiny posy of pastel roses in readiness to scatter them on top of the miniature white coffin.

I felt sorry for a lot of people, but I didn’t feel sorry for those who remained silent, for those who’d let their unspoken words hang in the air, gathering mould and dust. A clumsy word showed thought; a heart-in-the-right-place sentence, no matter how poorly it had been strung together, was somebody making the effort to reach out at least. Even if it symbolised that family member or friend or acquaintance had now brushed my baby’s existence neatly under the carpet, never to bring her up in conversation again.

I never shared this frustration with anyone.

And oh, yes, I made lists of said silent people - mental ones, I deleted them from Facebook where they’d surely seen my status update, I deleted them from eye contact, I deleted them from address books. If they could pretend my baby didn’t exist, I could pretend they were nothing more than a figment of my imagination too.

Katie Allen’s writing has brought all of this to the surface (and much, much more) these past few days. In a healing way. In a cathartic way. This was yet another subconscious layer that needed to be brought to the fore more than a decade on. Now I can face it, accept it and learn to be okay with it.

And that’s what we do when we share our stillbirth stories, isn't it? We give others permission to share theirs. We transmute the energy. We inspire. The words reach out far beyond the page.

This novel may not be Katie’s exact story but it is loosely based on it, and it is one epic tale. I cannot recommend it highly enough. May it foster much-needed understanding so that society supports and nurtures all parents who will sadly continue to know this tragedy in the future.

[Michelle Ryles · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh my goodness, where do I start? What a beautiful, completely unique book. Katie Allen's debut novel is poignant, incredibly personal and surprisingly funny. I absolutely loved it and the synopsis is right: it is completely unforgettable.

Rachel suffers a most terrible loss when she gives birth to her stillborn son, Luke. Perhaps the worst thing that anyone can say to someone who is grieving is 'everything happens for a reason' but Rachel takes this comment literally and tries to find the reason that Luke died. Rachel believes that saving the life of a man who was about to jump in front of a train was the reason that her son died and this man lived. Through dogged determination, we follow Rachel's journey as she searches for the mystery man and makes life-long friends along the way.

The format of the book is very special indeed; I actually didn't realise what I was reading in the first few pages and when it hit me I thought my heart would break. Although it is such a terribly sad subject, especially as the author has first hand knowledge of stillbirth, the whole feel of the book is surprisingly warm and funny. It feels as if the process of writing her thoughts, feelings and actions is incredibly cathartic for Rachel and, although Luke is never far from her mind, having such a massive project on the go does help take her mind off her loss.

I've often considered how highly sensitive we become when something bad happens to us. It seems like everyone is so insensitive but I've often wondered if that is because we are so over-sensitive at that particular moment in time. Rachel has lost her baby and it seems like every way she turns she sees babies; everything reminds her of Luke and the fact that he is not here. I'm not saying that there aren't insensitive people out there, comments like 'everything happens for a reason' and 'life goes on' prove that people often don't think before they speak, but you don't want others to put their life on hold because you are sad. It reminded me to be more sensitive to people's feelings and that just being there for someone and saying nothing is better than saying something inappropriate. Actions really do speak louder than words.

Everything Happens for a Reason is heartrending, honest and humourous; I've never read anything like it before. So thought-provoking and poignant, it's a completely wonderful debut and highly recommended reading.

Many thanks to Orenda Books for sending me an ARC of this wonderful book; all opinions are my own.

[Hannah · Rating 3 out of 5]

Everything happens for a reason tries to get to the bottom of the saying. Does everything in life happen for a reason or do some things go unexplained or happen for a logical reason such a slipping on a wet floor.

Covering the topic of stillbirth/born you can tell the writer is using personal experience. Rachel is the lead who had stillborn son Luke. I like when Luke gets a name. I am not one for calling babies and things it.

The story is told through emails you can follow if and it gets in Rachel's head well. I would like chapters though, I am a little funny like that. Chapters flow well to me. It was clever and heartbreaking though. I would have had ED in it a little more though. I did not warm to Ben.

It was not all darkness. There is lightness in the book with the dogs.

3 stars

[Rachel (not currently receiving notifications) Hall · Rating 3 out of 5]

The offbeat but ultimately life-affirming debut of journalist, Katie Allen, is partly inspired by the devastation of her own son being stillborn and the galling platitude, ‘everything happens for a reason’ that came by way of response on Twitter. In this novel the fictional character of Rachel Summers is the bereaved mother of stillborn Luke and finds herself on maternity leave without the child she has spent nine months preparing for. Convinced that she must be to blame for her loss and growing more distant from husband, Ed, by the day, it is the ‘everything happens for a reason’ offered by her mother’s prayer group that sends her looking for the proof. Hoping to find something that will enable her to make sense of Luke’s death, Rachel finds herself fixated on tracking down the stranger she stopped from jumping onto the tube tracks on the very same day that she discovered she was pregnant. Could saving this stranger’s life have somehow played a part in Luke’s death?

The book opens three weeks on from the stillbirth of Luke and takes the form of emails from Rachel written directly to her son as she returns to Oval station in an effort to discover the identity of the man whose life she saved. London Underground employee and sympathetic single mother, Lola Adeyemi, assists and a friendship of sort ensues, with Rachel’s search leading her to Ben Palmer, a dog walker living in Brixton. Not only is Ben nothing like Rachel imagined but he is also pretty reticent and as sensitive about discussing the day they first crossed paths as Rachel is talking about Luke. Taking it upon herself to ‘save’ Ben and bring meaning to his life whilst simultaneously juggling after school care for Lola’s six-year-old daughter and avoiding news of the impending arrival of her sister–in-law’s baby, this is Rachel’s journey over the six months that follow and in truth I found it all quite bizarre.

The format itself initially appealed and the self-deprecating humour and warmth of Allen’s writing proved a great way to ease into the story yet as the novel unfolded I started to find it a little bitty and too focused on the newcomers in Rachel’s life with grieving husband Ed barely getting a passing mention. This made it impossible to get any real sense of the strain on the couple’s marriage with the story primarily playing up the comedy moments of Rachel’s mission and all but abandoning Ed. My other issue is that when Rachel finds the young man whose life she saved he doesn’t add a great deal of oomph to the story. Ben is awkward and pretty indifferent to Rachel and something felt off about their strange relationship right from the start. How Rachel encroached on Ben’s life, without any expression of interest on his part, also made me feel uncomfortable and never really rang true. Overall after a poignant start I did feel that the story became a little wooly and without much of note happening until the final seventy pages my attention waned.

[Karen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Everything Happens For A Reason is a raw, honest portrayal of coping with loss.
I wasn't sure what my feelings would be about this book as I don't think anyone is going to jump at the chance to read about a mother recovering from her child being stillborn, whether they have experience of such a loss or not, but the way this was story was written was in such a way that you almost forget what Rachel has been through and get lost in the story, then there will be a gut punch of emotion that will have you gasping. Some of the situations Rachel faces while still deep in grief made me angry on her behalf and can only hope that it doesn't happen too much in real life. I can only imagine how a simple attempt of comfort, telling a grieving mother that 'everything happens for a reason' could have many effects. In Rachel's case, she decides to find out what that reason was.
I liked how the story was told via emails that Rachel was writing to her child and can see how it could be a coping mechanism. Some days it is one sentence, others a full on saga! But this just demonstrates the very real ups and downs of grieving of a loved one and the constant questioning of whether a particular action was the could have affected the outcome.
A unique, darkly witty read that despite the subject matter, will make you feel warm and uplifted.

[Madeleine Black · Rating 5 out of 5]

On the day that Rachel finds out she's pregnant, she saves a man from jumping on the tracks at Oval station. Months later, her baby is born sleeping - a stillborn. And she's convinced the two experiences are connected and goes on a mission to find this man, as she believes helping him will bring some meaning to losing her baby.
This beautifully written debut is sad, quirky and funny. It shows that the healing process after baby loss is not straight forward and often messy. But ultimately is is about how people should really think about what they say to someone who is grieving.

[Jo · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm afraid this book wasn't really for me - it is written in a series of emails between the the main character and her husband following the stillbirth of their son. I ended up putting the book down and coming back to it several weeks later to finish it. A very emotive and painful subject to write about I would imagine and the author did so without making the story overly sad. Liked the dogs - injected a bit of humour.

[Anne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rachel Summers is on maternity leave, but she doesn't have a baby. Three weeks ago, her son Luke was stillborn. She had expected, and planned to spend her days after the birth caring for a newborn, getting to know him, creating a family and showing her son off to the world.

Instead, Rachel is a mother without a baby, her days are empty. Her husband Ed does try, but his own grief is overwhelming too and their tragic loss seems to have created a barrier between them, rather than strengthen their relationship. Rachel has an assortment of well-meaning family and friends, none more than her own mother who is confident that her prayer group will bring comfort to Rachel. Instead, the comment 'everything happens for a reason' is the only thing that resonates with Rachel, and so she begins to think, and wonder.

On the day that Rachel discovered that she was pregnant, she stopped a man from jumping from the platform at the Oval Tube station. Rachel convinces herself that's the 'reason', did her son die because she prevented the death of an unknown man?

Rachel's quest for answers begins again at the Oval where she meets with Lola; one of the staff on duty all those months ago. This is just beginning of Rachel's journey, she will forge friendships and relationships with such a variety of people, including the man that she saved, a small child whose wisdom is often far superior than any adult and inquisitive sausage dog named Francis.

Katie Allen has structured her story carefully and cleverly. Written in the form of emails from Rachel to one person, it is not until the reader realises who the recipient of these missives is that the emotional gut punch really hits home. There's an almost voyeuristic feeling as the reader is exposed to Rachel's innermost thoughts about her loss and grief and the effects that those have on her life. We grimace as those around her expect her to bounce back, get over it and carry on. We smile wryly as she describes people and events with a dry and infectious humour. We reach for the tissues as her absolute agony is laid out, in words, shared only with the one person who will not disagree with her.

Rachel is a complicated character. She often makes rash and almost impossible to understand decisions, but this is how grief works. There's no set formula, there are no guidelines. Our brains and our hearts react differently, our emotions are as individual as we are and Rachel's unique way of dealing with her loss is exquisitely and perfectly played out within these pages.

Emotionally engaging, witty, clever and wonderfully satisfying, Everything Happened For A Reason is a story that totally captured my heart. Packed with characters who leap from the page, and become a part of the reader's life too, and filled with warmth, humour and incredible love.

[Jen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have to be honest. I think I'm going to find it hard to write this review, and it might not be very long. Not because I didn't enjoy the book, far from it, I almost don't feel as though I am in a position to really pass comment. Like I'm not qualified, reading this as a voyeur and not from a position of real empathy. I've never experienced this kind of loss. In fact, with perhaps only a couple of exceptions, I haven't been in a position where I have lost any one who I was so close to that the loss becomes all consuming. Because that is, in essence, what this book is all about. The profound sense of grief that Rachel feels that pushes to to find meaning in her loss and to seek out the person whose life she believes she may have traded fo that of her son, Luke's.

And that, in a very small nutshell, is the premise of this book. That need to understand the incomprehensible. That almost superstitious belief of Rachel's that in saving a life, she had sealed the fate of her unborn child. It is unclear to begin with if she truly believes this or if it isn;t just the act of clinging to a hope that, as the title of the book suggests, everything does, indeed, happen for a reason, and that some greater purpose was achieved that fateful day. The book follows Rachel's search for the mystery man with a blend of humour, self recrimination and an occasional touch of melancholy, highlighting Rachel's struggles with everything, including her marriage, in the wake of their loss. Her loss.

Ther styling for this book is quite creative, Rachel narrating her story through a series of emails which are addressed to Luke. Now to begin with this seems a little quirky, but it works perfectly for this book. Because the length of the emails can vary, the pacing ebbs and flows as the story requires and the abrupt flow really makes this feel like a proper stream of consciousness from Rachel as she navigates the difficult months of her non-maternal maternity leave. It does mean that all scenes are told from Rachel's point of view, a kind of alternative first person narrative, in which converations are recalled memories rather than live scenes, but by using this technique, Katie Allen really is taking us deep into the mind of her character. Nothing is off limits, Rachel's honesty, both upbeat and heartbreaking as it can be, has an authenticity which is enriched by the author's own experience.

Although Rachel is first and foremost in our minds, there are a varied cast of characters who float in and out of her world. Her mother, her husband, the man whose life she saved, Lola, the woman who helped track him down, and her daughter, Josephine, whose lack of filter makes for some very refreshing and often more light-hearted moments in the story. We get to know them all, but a step removed, only really from how Rachel perceives them, or at least explains them to Luke, so whilst they inform the story, it really is not about them. And then there is Rachel's family - both immediate and extended. There were times when Rachel drove me a little crazy, when you can understand why the family might expect her to 'move on' and 'get over it,' but then they are contrasted with the moments of crass and overwhelming insensitivity that her family display, when I was left so angry on Rachel's behalf, it was unbelievable.

I know I haven't really done the book justice in this review. It is, in essence, the story of one woman's expression of grief. It is honest, uncompromising, a list of all the things that Rachel would say to Luke should he have lived. The marking of his milestones. The emptiness of loss she experiences. The quest for answers the universe cannot give, and the toll it takes on her relationships. It is both witty and it is emotional. It illustrates moments of hope and moments of despair. It is a book which lingers in the mind, and one which many will be able to empathise with. And I think, for those like Rachel who have experienced this impossible loss, the death of a loved one, the loss of a child, it probably says all of the things that they want and need to say, stating loud and clear to everyone that there really is no 'right' way to grieve. It is a unique take on a difficult subject and one I think will receive plenty of well deserved praise. Be prepared for an emotional journey.

[Karen Cole · Rating 4 out of 5]

Every year during Baby Loss Awareness Week, I light a candle for the annual Wave of Light. I had two miscarriages before my first daughter and another prior to my third but I also have friends and relatives whose babies were stillborn or died shortly after birth, including my Mum, whose first child - a son called Shaun - was born prematurely and my mother-in-law whose firstborn son, Colin went to full-term but died during labour. It's not something that those who suffer will ever get over; I see it in their Facebook posts on the anniversaries of their loss and I've heard it in the conversations I've had with my mother-in-law and my mum before she passed away.
Rachel has only recently given birth to her son, Luke but instead of taking a newborn baby home, she returned to a house filled with reminders about what she'd lost. In the first few weeks and months afterwards, she has become understandably hypersensitive, noticing which of her friends and relations are slow or fail to respond with condolences. Worse still, she receives an insensitive invitation to a baby shower and then somebody else tells her that 'everything happens for a reason'.
It's this phrase she latches on to, because to accept that Luke died for no reason feels worse. The book's narrative comes in the form of emails she writes to her son, at first discussing the things said and unsaid before she becomes determined to identify the reason why she lost her baby. It means that this is a deeply personal story and we only ever really see Rachel's pain. It's not surprising, therefore, that she may seem dismissive of her husband, Ed's feelings or that her mum might appear tactless at times. We don't know what's going on in their heads; this is Rachel's response to what happened and though grief is universal , each person's experience of it will be as unique as they are.
She becomes obsessed with the thought that saving the life of a suicidal man on the day she found out she was pregnant was the reason why Luke wasn't allowed to live - one life for another. She is determined to track him down and enlists the help of an Underground worker, Lola. As she and Lola become friends, she is also introduced to her young daughter, Josephine. JoJo lights up the novel and in a book which is searingly honest, her presence brings irresistible joy to the proceedings.
After Rachel finds the man, she embarks on a new plan to convince herself that everything happens for a reason. She doesn't always come across that well and I can understand why some readers may struggle to like her. She is intrusive and condescending, her actions sometimes thoughtless at best, and worryingly damaging at worst. However, grief is overwhelmingly self-centred, I wouldn't pretend to know exactly how Rachel - or anybody who has suffered baby loss - feels but I have experienced a sudden, unexpected loss and I know that it takes up every thought inside your head. When your world has been knocked from its axis, it's as though you've lost a layer of skin and that raw pain consumes every part of you.
However, for all its poignant candour Everything Happens For A Reason isn't a depressing story. This is an intimate, honest portrayal of grief but it's also a warm, engagingly witty read. The structuring of the book means each email chapter is short yet addictive, ensuring I couldn't resist reading on. Astute, engrossing and uplifting; Katie Allen has written this emotional novel from the heart and it shows. Highly recommended.

[Emma · Rating 5 out of 5]

Grieving mother Rachel is trying to come to terms with the loss of her baby. She writes emails to her stillborn son, Luke; pouring out her heartbreak, fear, anger and guilt as she tries to make sense of what happened. When one of her mother’s church friends tells her, “everything happens for a reason,” she grasps at it like oxygen. She decides that it all goes back to the day she found out she was pregnant, that when she stopped a man from jumping in front of a train that she exchanged her baby’s life for his. Searching for meaning she tracks him down, determined to find meaning for her pain.


I can’t believe this extraordinary novel is a debut. I expected it to be wonderful and moving, but I didn’t know it would seep into my heart, mind and soul. Or that it would be one of the best books I’ve ever read. Honest, raw, unflinching and heartrending, Rachel’s story is beautifully told, the author drawing on  her own experiences of grief and losing a child to inject an authenticity into the writing that is searing. I lived every moment alongside Rachel, going through a kaleidoscope of emotions. But I don’t want you to think this is a depressing book. Far from it. It is sharp, witty, sarcastic and full of dark humour, moving me to laughter as well as tears.


I loved the author’s decision to tell the story through Rachel’s emails. It felt so personal , giving us an insight into who she is and allowed me to feel like I really connected with her. It added realism and I found myself forgetting I was reading about a fictional character. They also put Luke at the heart of the story as a person, rather than just Rachel’s grief. I could see him as clearly as Rachel could, my heart aching that he wasn’t here with her. The emails also allow us to get to know those closest to her, though only from Rachel’s perspective. It saddened me that Rachel seemed to have little support, both practically and emotionally. Grief may be personal, but you need people to be there for you, especially when it is something as tragic as this. So I was thankful that Lola and Josephine came into her life. They were a highlight in the book for me, particularly Josephine. I loved their interactions, the joy she brought into Rachel’s life, and her sassy personality. 


Powerful, hopeful, profoundly moving and unforgettable, Everything Happens For A Reason will have a place in my heart forever. A remarkable debut that everyone should read. 

[Agirlandabook · Rating 4 out of 5]

Before I start I am just going to highlight that this book is centred around the heartbreaking event of a baby being stillborn. It may therefore be a difficult read for anyone who has experienced a similar loss, my heart goes out to you ❤️

The story picks up 3 days after Rachel gives birth to her son Luke, and is written in the form of emails to him as she tries to process her loss and navigate her maternity leave without him. I really enjoyed this format and found it allowed me to connect very quickly with Rachel.

There are numerous moments when my stomach dropped for her and I gasped thinking “oh they did not just say/ do that” and yet it was not a stretch of the imagination to picture that insensitivity albeit sometimes unintentional insensitivity happening. It really emphasised how uncomfortable we as humans are when it comes to treating those who are grieving.

The core of the story is Rachel’s quest to answer the question... If everything happens for a reason, what is the reason? She frantically tried to find a purpose and reason for her loss which she attributes to saving the life of a suicidal man on the day she found out she was pregnant. Unfortunately, he is not as expected and the story grows to quite a frenetic climax in which I did grow increasingly concerned about her welfare.

This is a book that will tug at the heartstrings, the emotions contained feel so powerful and raw in places, knowing this was inspired by the author’s own experiences only adds to the poignancy. There are however also some humorous and heartwarming themes, the relationship between Rachel and Josephine was truly wholesome to watch unfold.

A really beautiful book.

[Melanie’s reads · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book felt like I was reading the personal diary of a woman during her very worst time. Often in times of unspeakable bleakness you develop a dark humour and Rachel has certainly mastered that and is very forthright and cutting in her opinions.

After the stillbirth of her son Rachel finds herself on the receiving end of people’s well wishes that while aren’t cruel they aren’t kind either (although the friend sending her the baby pic was a step too far). With bereavement people are at a loss what to say so either avoid saying anything at all or they bring out the usual comments hence the title. I will admit I am quite matter of fact with all things death and I think as a country it is something we rarely talk about openly. That comment however becomes a catalyst for Rachel to put the blame at her own door because she saved a man’s life the day she discovered she was pregnant.

Narrated via a one way email exchange it soon becomes heartbreakingly apparent who the recipient is.

Now I’m a fully signed up atheist and I have no problem with other people and their beliefs but I personally think if it turns out there is a God then I agree with Rachel he’s a very cruel one. The introduction of dog collar wearing Graham only substantiated that opinion.

This is a raw portrayal of a woman lost in grief for her stillborn son and trying to make sense of something that never will. I hope writing this book was cathartic for the author as I got the feeling reading this that her heart, soul and tears were imbedded in every page.

[Helen the Bassist · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5*
It wasn't an auspicious start. EHFAR (as Rachel, our narrator, soon adopts as a handy acronym), is written in the format of emails...and I'm not really a fan. However, once I realised they were all to the same email address and once I stopped reading every single date (referring back only if absolutely necessary) then I acclimatised quickly.

Early in the story a devastated Rachel begins to fixate on some of the trite and unhelpful phrases that roll off people's tongues in tragic circumstances, and particularly on EHFAR. She can identify a point in time where one life continued where it might not have done - after a chance encounter she had many months ago - was this a 'life for a life' situation caused by the universe? It becomes her mission to establish who actually has this other life...is he a doctor or surgeon? Can the lives he's saved then also be counted in the equation? Can the 'scales' ever be judged fair? Who is he to still have that life?

Allen subtly explains Rachel and E's tragedy and the responses of their nearest and dearest (both Mother and MiL are completely hopeless for starters!) throughout the early stages of the book before threading in subplots of friendships formed, love stories begun and resurrected and one quite shocking twist. There is also a supporting cast of lovely doggy characters.

By half way through I was mad at Rachel (and pretty much everybody else in the book) but, in the end, I had to forgive her.

Definitely one of the best books I've read for a while...well thought out, believable, sad, funny and shocking. Enjoy!

[Jennifer Li · Rating 4 out of 5]

What an incredibly raw and honest account of dealing with a deeply personal and painful form of loss and grief. Whether you have experienced this type of loss or not, you will definitely get an intimate insight as to how it may feel like day to day as we get to see inside Rachel’s thoughts and actions, processing the flood of emotions that bounce from sadness, to anger, to bitterness, to confusion. How does one make sense of it all? By speaking to her stillborn child, Rachel is almost in denial, prolonging her attachment to her son. In parallel, she is seeking understanding and answers to relieve her grief and find meaning behind this event in her life, which seems so cruel and unfair. A ‘why me’ moment and blaming oneself, which is so relatable, holding on to the fact that there is a reason determining each step in our lives.

While this is a poignant and sad read, I find the people Rachel ends up befriending to be very uplifting and comforting. They play a big part in Rachel’s journey towards healing, understanding and makes this book so life-affirming and compassionate. There are also sprinkles of humour throughout which is wonderfully unexpected.

[Eve Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was lucky to receive a proof of this debut to read ahead of publication in June 2021 from Orenda Books. I was captivated as soon as I heard the premise: Rachel's son, Luke, is stillborn and she is left on maternity leave with no baby, trying to make sense of her loss. When a misguided well-wisher tells her that 'everything happens for a reason' she becomes obsessed with finding that reason, driven by her grief and a sense that she is somehow to blame.
This is a heart-wrenching, soul-lifting read about loss and redemption in unlikely places that grips from start to finish. I found myself thinking at times of Rachel Joyce's The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry. The writing is superb: so raw in places, but also funny, and the author's personal experience of this tragedy gives you an insight into a horror no one can imagine unless they have experienced it themselves. The relationships that Rachel builds with three strangers are captured beautifully as is Rachel's journey through her imploding world. If you want a book that moves you, that makes you laugh, with precious glimpses of humanity, this is the debut for you. Out in paperback June 2021: put this on your to-read list.

[B. Fleetwood · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent!
It took me a while to get into the format of the book but so glad I persisted as this was a memorable, poetic read. Everything is told via the main character, Rachel in her emails to her stillborn child, Luke. Rachel, in an attempt to rationalise the death of her baby, seeks out the reason EHFAR (everything happens for a reason) and lands on the day she stopped a man jumping in front of a train - the day she discovered she was expecting. She hunts down Ben, a dog-walking recluse, determined she will make him live a better life to compensate for Luke's death. En route she befriends, Lola a single parent and gets drawn into assisting with childcare for her daughter, Josephine.
Bittersweet, I felt as if I was watching Rachel going off the rails, trying to make sense of her life without her baby, befriending every lost soul on the way and getting so many things horribly wrong. The writing reminded of Elinor Oliphant and I applaud the author on an excellent debut novel. Five stars from me.

[France-Andrée · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everything Happens for a Reason is about Rachel and her quest to find a reason for the stillbirth of her son. She thinks that the fact she saved someone from dying by suicide the day she found out she was pregnant is the reason her child died so she finds the person she saved and try to find a meaning in his survival.

I'm sure I wouldn't have chosen this book on my own, it sounds so dark! But it wasn't, it's about grief, but it is also about so much more. I liked also the structure and how the story is told. I also liked the characters, flawed but realistic.

Do I believe everything happens for a reason? It is hard not to answer the question in your mind. I don't think it does, I hope it doesn't, I don't believe in that our lives are all written in advance and we are reading a script. What I do know is that we have to cope with what has happened and searching for a meaning like Rachel does if very human.

[Mrs A & Mr R Robinson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book tells the story of Rachel, who is grieving for her son Luke who was born “sleeping”. When someone tells her that everything happens for a reason, she becomes obsessed by the need to find the reason for losing him. Rachel tells the story in a series of emails to the baby she has just lost, and this format makes it a heartbreaking, raw and emotional read. At times I wanted to step into the book to help this distraught woman, to just be with her and support her and love her. I cried, laughed and at one point even got annoyed at the absurdity of Rachel’s efforts and her distorted thoughts that she was somehow to blame for what happened. Ultimately though I loved everything about the it and it is one of those books that will stay with me for a long time. The author’s own experience of the worse kind of loss imaginable make this tale all the more poignant and sad, but by the end it was uplifting and gave hope for a better future to come for Rachel and her husband. 5* from me.

[Louise Beech · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thought I had reviewed this beautiful book back when I was lucky enough to read an ARC. Clearly not. But I haven't forgotten it. And neither will you. Highly recommend.

[Joanne · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a great story. Felt like an emotional roller coaster reading this. So well written and everything explained and described beautifully. Felt for Rachel and her loss and her way of coming to terms with it. Nobody knows how this will effect them and to write about it so cleverly is wonderful.
Thank you

[Alice McQueen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Didn’t love the writing style of emails and the ending felt very rushed and random with Lola and Jojo. Feel like that was totally unnecessary? Other than that was a good read.

[Dawn Harvey · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is heartfelt , it really pulls at your heartstrings. I really felt for the main character

[Karen Peterman · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book - it’s funny, sad and just plain wonderful! Rachel’s baby was stillborn and she is on maternity leave trying to make sense of what has happened. When someone tells her that everything happens for a reason (EHFAR) she looks fir a reason why her baby Luke died. She remembers that the day she found out she was pregnant she saved a man from committing suicide by jumping under a train.

Rachel sets out to find the man and to understand EHFAR. Her search leads to her meeting Lola and her daughter Josephine. I won’t spoil a magical, wonderful, charming and occasionally hilarious story but Rachel’s friendship with Lola and Josephine is at the heart of the book as she meets and befriends the man who she saved - Ben - and tries again to save him.

The book takes the form of emails from Rachel to Luke. It’s a wonderful depiction of someone falling to pieces with grief but it’s also a good story and an uplifting read. I loved every word - a really fantastic book - I can’t recommend it enough - read it and enjoy!!!

[Nicola Smith · Rating 4 out of 5]

Everything happens for a reason. That's what Rachel is told when her baby is stillborn. But does it really? If so, what possible reason can there be for this terrible loss. Rachel clings onto the fact that on the day she found out she was pregnant she saved a stranger from jumping in front of a train. Was he special? Did she give up her baby's life to save his?

I can certainly imagine that it might be a comfort to have that reason but it takes Rachel down some rather odd paths. It's grief, of course, but her behaviour seems to be increasingly bizarre, leading her to find the man she saved via new friends, Lola and her daughter, Josephine.

The format of this book is unusual, consisting as it does of Rachel's emails to her baby, Luke, but it works to brilliant effect. It felt very conversational in style and although she was talking to her baby it felt like she was talking to me. I expected to be moved by this story, who could fail to be? What I didn't expect was to guffaw so much. There's some really dry humour in it which I think was needed to lift the story and give Rachel hope for the future. I was shocked at the insensitivity of some people towards her but I suppose it's one of those situations where nobody can really say the right thing. Nevertheless, there were lots of sharp intakes of breath from me along the way.

This is a really great debut novel from Katie Allen. It feels different and innovative, with a raw honesty to the writing. I felt it was a candid look at the after-effects of grief and the ongoing sense of loss, with the world carrying on around you and expecting you to do the same, but also it's ultimately uplifting and thought-provoking with some cute doggy-ness thrown in. I enjoyed it a lot.

[Cal · Rating 5 out of 5]

I knew going in that Everything Happens for a Reason by Katie Allen was going to be a hard book for me to read, but nothing could have quite prepared me for just how cathartic an experience it would turn out to be. This isn’t going to be an easy review for me to write, but I’ll do my best to put into words just how much this book means to me on a personal level and why I found it to be such an emotional read.

Nine years ago my firstborn grandson was stillborn. Even now, all these years later, I find those words difficult to write. I know what it’s like from the point of view of a grandparent, but I’ve also seen the devastation the death of a much loved baby can (and continues to) do to both of the parents. I also know that grief is a very personal thing and that everyone deals with it in their own way.

I can relate to so many of the things that happen in Everything Happens for a Reason and even had to stop reading it from time to time as I became so overwhelmed by emotion as the memories of the past came flooding back. Beautifully and sensitively written by Katie Allen, it is clear from the outset that the author has had experience of baby loss herself, with her portrayal of grieving mother Rachel so authentically real that it took my breath away.

But as incredibly moving and thought provoking as it is, Everything Happens for a Reason is also a story filled to the brim with humour and the ups and downs of life, touching on themes of family relationships and friendship as Rachel begins to navigate her way through life after loss. Told in the form of emails to the baby she lost, her much loved son Luke, the reader is given a personal insight into the thoughts and feelings of the bereaved mother as she tries to find meaning at the loss of her son.

So when a well meaning person comments that ‘everything happens for a reason’ Rachel’s thoughts turn to what that reason could possibly be? And her mind goes back to the day she found out she was expecting Luke and she stopped a young man from jumping to his death in front of a train. She soon becomes obsessed with the idea that saving this man somehow cost her the life of her son and, desperate to find him, enlists the help of Lola who was working on the underground that day, soon becoming close to the single mother and her seven year old daughter. When she eventually tracks the young man down, things begin to unravel in ways Rachel could never have expected…

Everything Happens for a Reason is a devastatingly honest portrayal of grief that is as cathartic as it is painful. Katie Allen’s writing is beautiful, telling an important and incredibly moving story that needed to be told. I honestly can’t even begin to find the words to say how much this beautiful story touched me. It is so heartbreakingly real and is a book that I will never forget.

An outstanding debut that I would highly recommend.

[Mairead Hearne (swirlandthread.com) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Everything Happens for a Reason by Katie Allen was published June 10th with Orenda Books and is described as ‘an unforgettable, heart-wrenching, warm and funny debut…'

There are many books that get under the skin of a reader for various reasons and Katie Allen has written one such book. For anyone who has lost a child the pain must be unbearable. Although a fictional story about one woman’s struggle to cope following the stillbirth of her baby, Katie Allen uses her own experience to add authenticity to Rachel’s character. The pain, the incomprehension, the grief are all unique but the one element that is common across society is the inability of others to deal with the aftermath. We have all heard expressions such as – ‘Life goes on….doesn’t it?' ‘It was meant to be.’ ‘And sure look it was probably for the best.’ But for any parent, moving on is not so simple.

On a visit to a graveyard recently, a scene was recounted to me of a young woman standing sorrowfully at a small plot adorned with a small headstone with a simple message. The picture described to me was so very poignant and really made me stop and think about the sadness that that woman was experiencing. It was only a snapshot of her day but it’s an image I found hard to shake. Katie Allen has brought this woman alive to me in many ways through Rachel, a mother-to-be who had followed the rules and had embraced her pregnancy with joy and excitement. But Rachel’s life was upended when her baby, Luke, was stillborn. Trying to make sense of this is all she can do so, while on maternity leave, she writes emails to Luke, expressing her feelings, her anger, her daily frustrations through this method of communication that gives her a platform to roar.

Rachel has an epiphany one day when a comment is made to her in relation to Luke’s death that ‘everything happens for a reason'. She wonders the truth of this statement and tries to put reason to her experience. Is there a reason for the death of her beautiful baby boy? Did she unwittingly do something in her past that had a domino effect on her future? And then she remembers. During the very early stages of her pregnancy she saved a person’s life, stopping them from jumping in front of a train. She never discovered who it was and now she wondered if she had unwittingly traded Luke’s life in order to save this stranger from an inevitable death.

Rachel embarks on a quest, writing about it to Luke in her regular emails, updating him on her project to find this stranger. With the assistance of a rail worker, Lola, she eventually makes contact with the young man who almost jumped that day leading her down a very unexpected path.

Everything Happens for a Reason is a very emotive and affecting read but it also has great wit littered throughout. Katie Allen has a wonderful turn of phrase giving Rachel a distinct personality that shines through in her conversations with herself and with others. She is a wonderfully quirky character, adding a great charm to the whole reading experience. The emails to Luke read like an inner monologue as her scattered thoughts are expressed along the way. Rachel has so much to grasp, so much to deal with. She fully embraces her mission to uncover if everything really does happen for a reason and along the way she discovers more about herself and her relationship with others. There is something extraordinarily intimate about Everything Happens for a Reason. It has an authentic and unconventional appeal that I really warmed to. A powerful story that will resonate unfortunately with too many, Everything Happens for a Reason by Katie Allen is an important book that engages, entertains and will really touch every reader who picks up a copy (which I of course recommend that you do!)

[Mary Picken · Rating 5 out of 5]

On the face of it, this isn’t the kind of book I’d normally pick up. It’s not crime, it’s about something intensely personal, dealing with a mother’s grief after the death of her stillborn baby boy. But the fact that it comes from Orenda makes it interesting and so I picked it up. I find that in a Covid world, my emotion is much closer to the surface than it used to be and I wasn’t sure that I was going to welcome that intrusion into my life.

What I found was a bit of a revelation. Katie Allen’s book is touching and quirky. It is funny and uplifting and even as she makes you laugh and you find yourself enjoying the madness of the characters her protagonist, bereaved mother Rachel, meets on her journey, Allen will deliver a sudden sucker punch that is a huge moment of grief that entirely takes the wind out of your sails.

Written in the form of a series of emails to her stillborn son, Luke, Rachel tells Luke of her days, while charting the progress he should have been making in his development. It should be maudlin, but it most certainly isn’t. There were times when I gasped at the sheer crassness of people’s responses, especially from Rachel’s family, to Rachel’s and her husband, Ed’s loss. From the titular ‘everything happens for a reason’ to unbelievable suggestions that its time she got over it, the difficulty people have in knowing what to say is very well portrayed.

So too is the impact on Rachel’s marriage. Not through direct exploration, but by the way we see how Rachel and Ed react differently to the decisions they have to make, including just the most awful discussion, if you can call it that, over whether or not to have a funeral. Honestly I think it’s one of the best explorations of how men and women think differently that I have seen in a book.

Katie Allen writes of grief with a light touch and Rachel’s need to find the reason that her son lost his life takes us on a journey that introduces us to some colourful characters as Rachel throws herself wholeheartedly into chasing down that reason (he’s called Ben) and then making sure that Ben lives a meaningful life. Into Rachel’s life comes Lola, the London Underground employee who helps Rachel find Ben, and Lola’s daughter, Josephine, who charms and enchants.

Allen writes with a dry humour mixed with wit and acute observation. And then sometimes she will put in a line that is so honest it takes your breath away as you contemplate the scale of grief she is dealing with. Sometimes it’s just a small thing, but it resonates like someone striking a gong in a room full of silence, because a moment earlier you were laughing with Rachel and now you’ve stopped in your tracks, remembering.

Everything Happens for a Reason is heart-breaking and emotional. It is laugh out loud funny and has wonderful moments where the reader gets lost thinking about hot men and sausage dogs as Rachel tries to transform Ben into living a life that is good enough to compensate for her baby dying. It’s mad, of course, but chasing down that idea at least keeps her mind focussed on something other than interminable grief.

Verdict: I��m not sure I’m doing a great job of explaining why this book works so well or is so warm and uplifting. I think it is that mixture of honesty, of humour, of Katie Allen’s ability to write characters that have depth and charm and sometimes brusqueness, coupled with scenes that linger in the memory because they are so powerful. Katie Allen has written a portrait of a woman in the midst of profound grief that is raw, truthful and immensely powerful but which makes you laugh even as you cry and which ultimately leaves you with hope. I really liked Rachel and I loved this book.

[Steve · Rating 4 out of 5]

This review also appears on my blog at: https://livemanylives.wordpress.com/

When Rachel suffers the heartbreak of her son being stillborn, all the phrases are hurled in her direction as friends and relatives trample through her grief with (sometimes) well-meaning but unhelpful clumsiness. Everything happens for a reason they say and as she struggles through her maternity leave without a child, Rachel becomes convinced that they are right and her son’s death was somehow the universe’s evening out for the life she saved.

She goes in search of Ben, the man she tackled on a tube station platform to prevent him taking his own life. On the way, she meets Lola, who works at the underground station, and strikes up a relationship with her 7 year old daughter Josephine. She tells her story through a series of emails to an account set up to talk to her dead son Luke as she tries to find answers to why she has been left with a permanent hole in her life where there should have been so much joy.

This is a life-affirming read that is at times hard as the desperate situation inevitably leads to strained relationships and poor decisions, but perhaps more than anything the book sparks compassion and not just for the bereft parents. I’m not sure that I feel any more able to do the right thing if faced with someone experiencing such grief, but I do feel genuine empathy for both the chaos of grieving and the bumbling attempts of loved ones to try to make things better.

As Rachel pours out her heart to her son, we see the impact of every small action but I also felt I could understand at least some of the faux pas that others were making. Rachel’s grief could at times look chaotic and although we could see through her emails why her decisions made sense to her it is also possible to understand why others might try to intervene in what would ultimately be unhelpful ways.

As a reader there are times when you fear that things are getting out of control, the energy is constrictive, and you just want it all to work out well, you can imagine how you would say or do the wrong thing in your desperation for some progress. You also see how what might appear to be chaotic decisions from the outside make perfect sense within Rachel’s experience and hopefully learn a little about how to be alongside someone who is in pain without adding to it.

As you can see, I am struggling a little to explain this book and the impact that it had on me as I read it. That is because grief is a complex subject and is loaded with difficult emotions. For those within it there is unimaginable loss, while for those outside there is both the sense of potential further loss as a loved one feels beyond reach and an uncertainty about how to carry on when another simply cannot.

At that point, we have to allow some space in which to be uncomfortable, disappointed and even offended because we don’t have simple solutions and we can’t say it will be all right, or that everything happens for a reason, we can only be present to the person who needs us.

I’m sure that this book will mean a lot to people who have shared Rachel’s experience and have seen reviews that support that. I also think it can help those who have floundered in the face of another’s suffering or might in the future, because it communicates something in fiction that the real person you want to help won’t be able to at the time. It is at turns witty, heart breaking, charming, disruptive and human and it stays with you long after you close the cover.

Everything Happens for a Reason is published in paperback on 10 June 2021. I received an advance review copy from the publisher for the purposes of this review.