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The Giant Dark
The Giant Dark is an award-winning debut novel about love and fame.
Aida is a rock star at her peak with a devoted cultish fanbase who follow her every move. When she disappears into a complicated love affair with an ex, they are determined to uncover her truths.
After a decade of silence, Aida and Ehsan reconnect, hoping to recreate the love they shared in their youth. When Ehsan's life unravels, he follows Aida on tour, but it becomes clear that their connection is strained by secrets and jealousies. The past blurs with their present as they follow in the footsteps of mythic lovers before them.
The Giant Dark is a loose retelling of the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice, exploring the consuming and devastating effects of using a lover as a muse.
Aida is a rock star at her peak with a devoted cultish fanbase who follow her every move. When she disappears into a complicated love affair with an ex, they are determined to uncover her truths.
After a decade of silence, Aida and Ehsan reconnect, hoping to recreate the love they shared in their youth. When Ehsan's life unravels, he follows Aida on tour, but it becomes clear that their connection is strained by secrets and jealousies. The past blurs with their present as they follow in the footsteps of mythic lovers before them.
The Giant Dark is a loose retelling of the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice, exploring the consuming and devastating effects of using a lover as a muse.
368 pages, Hardcover
First published July 8, 2021
97 people are currently reading
9322 people want to read
About the author
Sarvat Hasin
6 books106 followersSarvat Hasin is from Pakistan. She has a Masters in Creative Writing from the University of Oxford.
Her first novel, This Wide Night, was published by Penguin India and longlisted for the DSC Prize for South Asian Literature. Her second book You Can’t Go Home Again was published in 2018 and featured in Vogue India’s and The Hindu’s end of year lists. She won the Moth Writer’s Retreat Bursary in 2018 and the Mo Siewcharran Prize in 2019. Her essays and poetry have appeared in publications such as Outsiders, The Mays Anthology, English PEN, and Harper’s Bazaar. She lives in London and works at the Almeida Theatre.
Her new novel, The Giant Dark, is a retelling of the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice. It is forthcoming from Dialogue Books on the 8th of July
Her first novel, This Wide Night, was published by Penguin India and longlisted for the DSC Prize for South Asian Literature. Her second book You Can’t Go Home Again was published in 2018 and featured in Vogue India’s and The Hindu’s end of year lists. She won the Moth Writer’s Retreat Bursary in 2018 and the Mo Siewcharran Prize in 2019. Her essays and poetry have appeared in publications such as Outsiders, The Mays Anthology, English PEN, and Harper’s Bazaar. She lives in London and works at the Almeida Theatre.
Her new novel, The Giant Dark, is a retelling of the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice. It is forthcoming from Dialogue Books on the 8th of July
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 288 reviews
April 2, 2022
no plot, just vibes.
August 12, 2021
The Giant Dark is a (very) loose retelling of the infamous Greek tragedy of Orpheus and Eurydice. Though I feel I must flag it up early on in the review, that if your solely approaching the book for this purpose, personally I felt this element didn't shine through as much as I thought -or would’ve liked.
Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely loved the way Hasin split the book into two parts (or acts), as a wonderful nod to the myths thematic origin, and I also admired the gender flipping of our lovers -with Orpheus being Aida -a “rock star” with a devote, mass following -who is creatively “inspired” by her tumultuously intense relationship with Ehsan (Eurydice).
And though the book does well to explore certain aspects and dynamics of power and privilege that lie within a relationship, as well the obsessive nature of love and anxieties of a person trying to find their place in said relationship or even, the world!! I just didn’t think the main myths troupe of -“creator and muse”, was fully utilised to its full potential.
This is definitely a slow paced, languorous novel. Full of glorious and immersive description and a wonderfully creative structure -the chorus of the “fans” embedded within Eshan and Adidas chapters, really added to the obsessive and claustrophobic quality of the book and was very reminiscent of a Greek, tragedian chorus -which I personally LOVED and wanted more of. However, there were a few niggles in some plot points in the latter half, that I felt were not given as much detail or closure, and the ending felt incredibly rushed and abrupt.
Overall a beautifully written and painfully intimate and intense book that perhaps slightly lost its way towards the end -much like the characters, ultimately doomed love.
3.5 stars
Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely loved the way Hasin split the book into two parts (or acts), as a wonderful nod to the myths thematic origin, and I also admired the gender flipping of our lovers -with Orpheus being Aida -a “rock star” with a devote, mass following -who is creatively “inspired” by her tumultuously intense relationship with Ehsan (Eurydice).
And though the book does well to explore certain aspects and dynamics of power and privilege that lie within a relationship, as well the obsessive nature of love and anxieties of a person trying to find their place in said relationship or even, the world!! I just didn’t think the main myths troupe of -“creator and muse”, was fully utilised to its full potential.
This is definitely a slow paced, languorous novel. Full of glorious and immersive description and a wonderfully creative structure -the chorus of the “fans” embedded within Eshan and Adidas chapters, really added to the obsessive and claustrophobic quality of the book and was very reminiscent of a Greek, tragedian chorus -which I personally LOVED and wanted more of. However, there were a few niggles in some plot points in the latter half, that I felt were not given as much detail or closure, and the ending felt incredibly rushed and abrupt.
Overall a beautifully written and painfully intimate and intense book that perhaps slightly lost its way towards the end -much like the characters, ultimately doomed love.
3.5 stars
June 8, 2021
Heartbreaking, beautiful, epic. I loved it.
June 3, 2021
I really can't lie, I'm underwhelmed. This started off well enough and reminded me of Daisy Jones & The Six, which I absolutely loved. It was less of the rock'n'roll, party hard, drugs and drama vibe and more of a story following poetic souls who met the right person at the wrong time. The story is a (very) loose retelling of the story of Orpheus and Eurydice, but this element didn't shine through as much as I would have liked.
I enjoyed the characters, in particular seeing the relationship blossoming between Aida and Ehsan. While I flew through the first half of the book, I found the second half of the book somewhat lacking and, frankly, confusing. I barely remember what just happened, it feels kind of like a fever dream. The narrative flits between the second person and third person POV, which is confusing enough. Added to that, the narrative jumps between a past timeline and a current timeline, but there's no structure that allows you to know that - you kind of just have to figure it out as you're going along which inevitably pulls you out of the atmosphere of the story.
I wanted to love this and it definitely has some elements that had me wanting to read more, but overall it just didn't work how I expected it to and I couldn't gel with the story.
Content warnings: death, drugs, alcoholism, attempted suicide, racism, adultery, some graphic mention of sexual acts.
Thank you to Sarvat Hasin, Little Brown UK, and Netgalley for providing me with an e-copy in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts and opinions expressed are my own.
I enjoyed the characters, in particular seeing the relationship blossoming between Aida and Ehsan. While I flew through the first half of the book, I found the second half of the book somewhat lacking and, frankly, confusing. I barely remember what just happened, it feels kind of like a fever dream. The narrative flits between the second person and third person POV, which is confusing enough. Added to that, the narrative jumps between a past timeline and a current timeline, but there's no structure that allows you to know that - you kind of just have to figure it out as you're going along which inevitably pulls you out of the atmosphere of the story.
I wanted to love this and it definitely has some elements that had me wanting to read more, but overall it just didn't work how I expected it to and I couldn't gel with the story.
Content warnings: death, drugs, alcoholism, attempted suicide, racism, adultery, some graphic mention of sexual acts.
Thank you to Sarvat Hasin, Little Brown UK, and Netgalley for providing me with an e-copy in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts and opinions expressed are my own.
September 5, 2021
“She was an attentive partner. This was becoming even more apparent over the last few weeks, as he noticed her trying to shave the corners of her life down to make them easier for him.”
THIS BOOK. WOW. I'M SO FLOORED. IN AWE.
Listen, this is not something I'd necessarily recommend to everyone. It's definitely an acquired taste. There's barely any dialogue, and the story doesn't exactly feel fast-pacing, even though I guess it kind of is. But the WRITING... I don't think I have ever read as beautiful writing as I have in this book. There are so many parts I read and that I just wanted to write down myself and sit in how they made me feel.
It definitely made sense to divide this book into two parts, as they are so different from each other. I also absolutely adored the chapters in which Aida's fans were given a voice and professed their thoughts, and so much of what was written in those parts reflected what I know of fan culture so much that it felt like a punch in the gut.
I just... Love this so much. I think this book is probably one of my all time favourite reads, even if it might not be for everyone. I will keep this writing with me for an incredibly long time.
THIS BOOK. WOW. I'M SO FLOORED. IN AWE.
Listen, this is not something I'd necessarily recommend to everyone. It's definitely an acquired taste. There's barely any dialogue, and the story doesn't exactly feel fast-pacing, even though I guess it kind of is. But the WRITING... I don't think I have ever read as beautiful writing as I have in this book. There are so many parts I read and that I just wanted to write down myself and sit in how they made me feel.
It definitely made sense to divide this book into two parts, as they are so different from each other. I also absolutely adored the chapters in which Aida's fans were given a voice and professed their thoughts, and so much of what was written in those parts reflected what I know of fan culture so much that it felt like a punch in the gut.
I just... Love this so much. I think this book is probably one of my all time favourite reads, even if it might not be for everyone. I will keep this writing with me for an incredibly long time.
December 23, 2021
Liked this a lot! Thought the first half was better than the second and concluded a bit abruptly but liked the structure and flew through it. That cover too 🤤
December 26, 2022
i loved this so much i am aching
August 7, 2024
i just wanted to know more about ehsannnnn and why he did what he diddddd instead of the whole subplottttttt of aida and severineeeeee
July 9, 2021
Aida’s fans watched her become the star she is. Musician, love of their lives, model for their clothes. Theirs. But now there is a man, a man who inspired her, a man who was part of her life before the fans, before the stage, before the past and the present became blurred. A lover, and a musician. Eurydice and Orpheus. Muse and artist. Tied inexplicably, and lost. A novel of love, of fame and of what happens when the person and the vision of the person are no longer separable.
Full disclosure, I came into this thinking I was getting a retelling of the Orpheus and Eurydice myth. What I got was different, not a retelling but almost a literary hypothesis – what if the ending for the artist and the muse will always be the same? What if the joy and pain, creation and destruction, lost and found, echo across the millennia separating Orpheus and his Eurydice from Aida and her Ehsan? For me, this is the fundamental question at the heart of this novel – one that looks at the very nature of what it is to be creator and their inspiration.
This is a slow-paced novel. At times, I found myself getting lost in the day-to-day interactions of the relationship between the two main characters without a sense of where the story was heading, particularly in the opening part of the novel. I’m usually not a fan of this sort of pace, but this was redeemed for me by the intense shift in the second part of the novel. Different emotions, different settings, different narratives styles – shifting from the third person narratives in the opening part to the second person narrative telling Ehsan’s story. Juxtaposed with the invasive and possessive fan voice, the woven threads worked incredibly well together. Like the main character, I felt unsettled as I began the second part, like the story I thought I was reading had come untethered. For Hasin’s writing to invoke in me the feeling experienced by the main character is pretty powerful.
There were things I wanted more of, outside of the intimately written central relationship. The other characters – friends, band members, family – all carry a part of their story that had untapped potential, I felt. I wanted to understand Ehsan’s life, in particular, the emotions, the history, the decisions he made. But when I think about it, Ehsan is the muse in this story. He is seen as Aida sees him, as the fans see him. So it works, I think.
All in all, not the book I thought I was going to read but definitely one that I’m glad I picked up. Intense, emotional, painfully intimate. Well worth a read.
Full disclosure, I came into this thinking I was getting a retelling of the Orpheus and Eurydice myth. What I got was different, not a retelling but almost a literary hypothesis – what if the ending for the artist and the muse will always be the same? What if the joy and pain, creation and destruction, lost and found, echo across the millennia separating Orpheus and his Eurydice from Aida and her Ehsan? For me, this is the fundamental question at the heart of this novel – one that looks at the very nature of what it is to be creator and their inspiration.
This is a slow-paced novel. At times, I found myself getting lost in the day-to-day interactions of the relationship between the two main characters without a sense of where the story was heading, particularly in the opening part of the novel. I’m usually not a fan of this sort of pace, but this was redeemed for me by the intense shift in the second part of the novel. Different emotions, different settings, different narratives styles – shifting from the third person narratives in the opening part to the second person narrative telling Ehsan’s story. Juxtaposed with the invasive and possessive fan voice, the woven threads worked incredibly well together. Like the main character, I felt unsettled as I began the second part, like the story I thought I was reading had come untethered. For Hasin’s writing to invoke in me the feeling experienced by the main character is pretty powerful.
There were things I wanted more of, outside of the intimately written central relationship. The other characters – friends, band members, family – all carry a part of their story that had untapped potential, I felt. I wanted to understand Ehsan’s life, in particular, the emotions, the history, the decisions he made. But when I think about it, Ehsan is the muse in this story. He is seen as Aida sees him, as the fans see him. So it works, I think.
All in all, not the book I thought I was going to read but definitely one that I’m glad I picked up. Intense, emotional, painfully intimate. Well worth a read.
April 27, 2023
I’ve never known more of a pisces man than this guy. Just brooding I swear. As soon as I start to like him there’s something he does that puts me off again. I found the issue was there wasn’t a honeymoon period for the couple - there was no reward for them deciding to get back together. They seemed happy-ish in a way that a couple who has been together for years and years are happy-ish. Like they might want better but don’t want to look for better. Aida is always biting her tongue or trying to guess how Ehsan feels and Ehsan harbours this weird resentment for her success. I just didn’t connect with the characters, for whatever reason I felt like they were very surface level. I do think 2 stars is very harsh but I just can’t give it a 3 so 2 is where I’m left I’m afraid. I think the book did a good job of capturing that obsession people feel towards their idols - especially in the modern age. The only thing I didn’t like was that at the end of the book when Aida decides to give up her fame, all her fans kind of turn on her. They say “she was dead to us” because she left I guess without saying goodbye, but I don’t think that’s super accurate to life. I think in reality fans tend to give their idols the benefit of the doubt sometimes to a fault rather than turning their back on them.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 30, 2022
Swoon-worthy in it’s romance, utterly heartbreaking, deliciously tragic. I won’t get over this in a while!!
June 18, 2021
Wow. It' appropriate that this book is written in two parts. In fact, it's almost like two books anyway. This book appealed to me because I find the Greek myths fascinating and this is a loose retelling of the story of Orpheus and Eurydice. I imagined it would be similar to the retellings of authors like Jennifer Saint, Pat Barker and Madeline Miller. It really isn't, it's so much more. Aida d'Souza is a bit of a Daisy Jones (Taylor Jenkins Reid) character and I had echoes of Rooney's Normal People. I loved the layout of the chapters, with the super fans acting as a kind of chorus through out the novel. The book is heartbreakingly sad at times and totally hypnotic.
Thank you @netgalley and Little Brown Book Group for the ARC. The Giant Dark is out on July 8th 2021.
Thank you @netgalley and Little Brown Book Group for the ARC. The Giant Dark is out on July 8th 2021.
September 24, 2021
Possibly my new favourite book? For fans of Open Water
August 8, 2021
Having just read some incredible retellings of Greek myths (namely, Madeline Miller and Pat Barker), I had high expectations for this title which is described as a retelling of the story of Orpheus and Eurydice. I already knew that it would be a looser interpretation, since it is set in the modern day, but other than the chapters from the POV of the protagonist Aida’s fans set as though from the Chorus (which was admittedly very clever), I saw little of the source material in this one.
We meet Aida and Ehsan as they reunite ten years after their initial break-up. Ehsan’s life has remained pretty stagnant but Aida has risen to international stardom as a musician. The book explores their relationship as their love is rekindled, and Ehsan joins Aida on her World Tour. The chapters skip between past and present time to give a glimpse of their lives when they were originally together and delve into how that impacted their relationship the second time around.
While I can see that there are certainly people who will love this book, and while some of the prose was indeed very beautiful, this really wasn’t one for me. I found the pacing to be very slow, and I just couldn’t understand the characters’ POV, which seemed to jump about at random and therefore not allow me to get to know them as individuals. The second half of the book was pretty confusing and, frankly, dragged, right up until the end which then seemed rather rushed in comparison. The author is clearly very skilled, but this wasn’t my cup of tea.
My thanks to the author, NetGalley, and the publisher for the arc to review.
We meet Aida and Ehsan as they reunite ten years after their initial break-up. Ehsan’s life has remained pretty stagnant but Aida has risen to international stardom as a musician. The book explores their relationship as their love is rekindled, and Ehsan joins Aida on her World Tour. The chapters skip between past and present time to give a glimpse of their lives when they were originally together and delve into how that impacted their relationship the second time around.
While I can see that there are certainly people who will love this book, and while some of the prose was indeed very beautiful, this really wasn’t one for me. I found the pacing to be very slow, and I just couldn’t understand the characters’ POV, which seemed to jump about at random and therefore not allow me to get to know them as individuals. The second half of the book was pretty confusing and, frankly, dragged, right up until the end which then seemed rather rushed in comparison. The author is clearly very skilled, but this wasn’t my cup of tea.
My thanks to the author, NetGalley, and the publisher for the arc to review.
August 30, 2021
What an incredible book. An (extremely) loose retelling of the Orpheus and Eurydice myth, with a fantastic Greek chorus element as well.
Aida and Ehsan’s relationship is obsessive, almost toxic, and it was an interesting look at an artist and their muse, especially as both of them were the artist and the muse. I didn’t like Ehsan’s character, but I’m not entirely sure that you’re meant to.
Hasin’s writing is nothing short of transcendent. I felt completely in love with it, and would probably read anything I could get my hands on that she has written. The Giant Dark is very much a character study more than a story with many twists and turns, and so the second act did fall somewhat flat for me, as nothing seemed to ~happen~, but regardless I enjoyed it.
Aida and Ehsan’s relationship is obsessive, almost toxic, and it was an interesting look at an artist and their muse, especially as both of them were the artist and the muse. I didn’t like Ehsan’s character, but I’m not entirely sure that you’re meant to.
Hasin’s writing is nothing short of transcendent. I felt completely in love with it, and would probably read anything I could get my hands on that she has written. The Giant Dark is very much a character study more than a story with many twists and turns, and so the second act did fall somewhat flat for me, as nothing seemed to ~happen~, but regardless I enjoyed it.
September 8, 2021
This isn't a classic girl meets boy, girl happens to be famous and boy has to deal with all of a sudden being in the limelight story. This is so much more than that! Aida and Ehsan are reconnecting 10 years after breaking up and we follow their "new" relationship and how it is affected by the past. Sarvat Hasin flawlessly transitions through perspectives to reveal the story in its entirety and writes the tragedy of Orpheus and Eurydice in a truly refreshing way. The portrayal of mental health and mourning was done so well and will have me thinking about this book for a long time.
July 16, 2021
Beautiful and devastating and I cannot recommend this highly enough
September 26, 2025
This book had an interesting premise and a promising start, but it didn’t quite come together for me. The first half held my attention, but the second half felt muddled and hard to connect with.
March 15, 2022
This was a really interesting book, I think it played a lot on a very unique kind of romantic relationship that I don't really see portrayed which is the negative aspects of being someone's everything. The kind of love between the two main characters made me think about the love held between two people constantly intertwining but never quite fitting in each others lives (which I can relate to iykyk) I mean I was josh safdezzzzz muse in uncut gemszzz.
did-not-finish
June 14, 2022Loved the chapters written from the perspective of the fans’ chorus. Also liked how Aida seen through the fans’ eyes is so much more interesting than Aida in her own narrative, a good representation of the impossible standards of fandom. Tried to enjoy the rest but love stories, man... they’re just not for me.
November 15, 2022
this was one of THE best books i’ve read this year! Hasin’s writing is almost lyrical, it flowed so easily and every single line was beautiful, almost like poetry. Some parts were so intimate that I felt guilty for reading, like I was being let into someones upmost inner thoughts. The story was poignant and heartbreaking but just so mesmerising I could NOT put it down!!!
September 20, 2021
Beautiful, heartbreaking, breathtaking and lyrical. Words you want to write down and read over and over again. A story I wanted to carry on, I don’t feel like I’ve read enough, I want more.
I cannot wait to read what’s next from Hasin.
I cannot wait to read what’s next from Hasin.
February 10, 2023
the second half of the book was so ?????????
October 26, 2023
The slowest burn (yawns)
I didn’t care about any of the characters
I didn’t care about any of the characters
May 28, 2024
Loved the first half, would've been 4 stars for me but the second half dragged a bit and lost some of its flow and magic.
November 11, 2025
This book is one of the most frustrating things I have ever read.
The way it reads is as if the main character, the "fabulous", "special", "sublime", Aida, is the alter ego, secret wishful thinking desire persona, of the author herself, and she is so incredibly fake and shallow, but wishing to portray herself as "unique", "delicate", "victim" of society, with a "difficult life", so "tortured", so "deep", "trying" so much, yet being so "misunderstood".
Every sentence in the second chapter, where I stopped for now - this is quite sad - is her complain-bragging about herself.
Reading this is such a drag. This author's values, this idealised Aida persona, are so transparent, and quite toxic.
Speaking of toxic: she is "cool" while being an alcoholic (all that bourbon that she really needs, for her image and addiction), she can barely get herself to bed on tour, after a show (drunk/drugged out of her mind like that, it's not explained, but an obvious logical deduction), but then she has no time to do her laundry, sightsee, and, in general, enjoy her life. And it needs to be "heartbreaking" to the reader. Basically, she keeps complaining she is a victim, while she is the actual problem.
Just saying. Just one example.
I'll keep reading, but I doubt this book shall do a flip and prove worthy.
SO SHALLOW! Quite the giant DARK.
---
after more than a year of avoiding it on my shelf, i decided to finish it.
it was one of the worst books i have ever read. the main character was incredibly disgusting, as she was presented by the author, an egomaniac "heroine", addicted to drugs and drinking, very shallow, always presented under a tone of compliments, some more subtle, but most so obvious, you would not be able to miss them unless you were drunk yourself.
the plot is just a meaningless chase-around only to present the main character as a "poor" always "misunderstood" always "suffering" "hero"...written in an overly-glorifying melodramatic way...with bad skill too, like ridiculous statements and comparisons, all over the book.
examples:
"He rolls up the sleeves to revel his forearms. They are shadowy, muscled; through the hatch his hands look ancient and strong. Like hands that could wrap around the throat of a chicken." - yes, in the universe where strangling a chicken is meant to be sexy...
"If her body were baked into bread, we might have eaten her too" - no average fan thinks about eating another person, this was just a psychotic image the author came up with in her egomania
"If she wasn't going to make it as a singer, Aida would have to be something equally impressive instead; a lawyer or a doctor, something solid and dependable" - taken from the author's superficial mind, were being a lawyer or a doctor is equivalent to being a famous singer..
"[Aida and Ehsan] kissing as if they are sailors just let loose off a ship" - such a strange choice of words to portray a man and a woman kissing...
"His face bracketed between her thighs. Warmth spreading from the bottom of her spine, like she is coming up on a very small amount of molly" - this was one disgustingly presented sex scene, telling me way too much about both the author and the character's drug addiction, most sex scenes just feel off
"When she comes out of the bathroom, she looks more like a rock star than she ever has before. The robe is as fluffy as a bed of murdered kittens" - thanks for the disgusting Cruella image, no, dead kittens are not "sexy" or "rock"
"The waitress in a skirt brings over the menu." - if i were to describe a waitress, i need to be honest, that would not be the relevant thing about a character who only brings the menu, this one time
"If she'd gone back to the hotel, she would be reading Bloodbitten for the 15th time" - give me a break, who reads the same vampire book 14 times, even as a fan?! there was nothing else she would do, anything but read the same book yet another time...
"She had swallowed the book's sentimentality, its bodice-ripping emotions" - this made me nauseous, too many things in this book are too sexualised to give forced compliments to this superficial Aida character
"She cancelled her show in Paris, faking sick for the first time in her life [to go walk around the city with Eshan]" - this was one of the most shallow things for an artist to do, cancel a show last minute faking sick, when people (apparently) got tickets from all over the world to fly in and see her perform, so she can afford all the expensive places she keeps bragging about all over the book she rents for her and Ehsan to stay at, non-stop
"They were eating Magnums in bed, Aida's melting like pudding against her thumb" - another cheap sex reference, yes, that's also a condom brand, so "clever", author...i literally got so tired of all the oral sex references in this book, i was almost gonna abandon it to the very basic trash before finishing it, not after
"Her brain was built for oversized reactions" - as in she was allowing herself by nature to throw bitch fits? this was so ridiculous...
"she doesn't experience things as rationally as he does" - there are logical arguments to not being logical? i missed this rational explanation...
" 'The funny thing about you two,' he said, sucking ice into his mouth and wagging a finger between them, 'is that you put Aida's clothes on and Ehsan takes them off' " - slight insight into Aida's relationship with her manager, he had to be sucking on something when he made a remark about Aida being undressed..
" 'I'm craving a salad. Something green. Something not beige.' " - poor thing, after so many drugs and hard liquor she finally wants a salad, as if she's a hero...
"she looks like a painting" - i had to start benchmarking this comparison of Aida with a painting, it was used way too many times...
"A sex tape would have been less embarrassing than the way she was looking at him" - are you sure, or was this a cue to use the construction "sex tape", i also had to benchmark the references to making a porn video...such a "great" "love" "story" "romance"....
[they] "GOT MARRIED" - obviously in CAPS, because "they had to", but he "proposed"...
"[some type of movie is] personally Aida's least favourite (...) [because] Most of the time in films like that, the leads don't even have sex" - which is terrible, woman trying to talk more about sex related things in any life situation...
"When she was working, he'd go off on adventures, bringing her back presents: doughnuts with mystery fillings, volumes of poetry and short stories, a cut-glass vagina that he insisted she could hang on her window" - this somehow reminded me of pet cats, who bring their owners dead birds and bugs...who wants that "glass vagina" for their window?...just to offer a good view on things in this book too
"[a room Aida had requested] housed her books, her toys." - got it, books are her toys...now what about that "Magnum" ice cream "sex tape" seems to fit the character more...
"appropriate female activities on the same night [as poker night], like a book club or a pole dancing class" - they are incredibly equivalent, yes...and equivalently "appropriate"
"[looking at a place they rented, which was arranged for them by Aida's tour team] There is an air of porn set about it, an expectation. There are probably handcuffs in the drawers." - it's rented, i would not advise using them though...
"[Aida likes horror and reads] one of those thick glossy paperbacks that is 600 pages or so, no gruesome details spared" - i'd marry her right now thoughts, right? have my babies too..."molly" aside
"They shouldn't have sex on the deck, where everyone could see them" - but they do...
"He watches her eat cake, fitting her mouth around the white circle of icing" - another one...i could not figure out if this was a mashup of porn movie images or other random pop-culture movies/books/songs of low quality
"I'm hoping for some athletic after-dinner activities" - a true classic line in your average..situation
"Ice rattling in the glasses like teeth" - goes well with strangling that "chicken" comparison, i guess
"She'd take off her clothes in front of this whole party and let the water close icy around her." - she is not a prude, definitely
"peels off her jewellery" - and i'm like, why was it stuck?!
"Our faces soaked in with tears. We were leaking something onto the floor" - such a beautiful style to write about tears
"If Roger [the manager] climbed on top of her and chocked the life out of her just then, she would probably have let him. If he'd given her a sleeve of cocaine or poured vodka down her throat, she would have taken that too." - yes, we can say she would "take that" like a "sailor" champ...the images portrayed have a very inappropriate feel sometimes, all over the book
"a rhythm remembered like the bass of a nightclub. It was like entering a dreamscape where she could do anything, where consequences did not exist." - great life strategy
"Pakistan where no one goes unless they have to" - that's a bit mean...
"The word 'widow' has always seemed abstractly sexy to her, like a glamorous costume" - that's a bit mean too...
"She smokes furiously. Aida eyes up the pack. She has been good for almost three weeks. They look clean and delicious." - they are also addictive, toxic and addictive
"Aida fingers the pack and pulls out a cigarette." - is that really the best choice of word?
"unethical but too entertaining to stop" - she should have stopped at unethical though
"[to a grieving widow] the bootleggers delivered rum and gin" - a gift from the widow's sister...
"she could be drunk in two drinks, dancing on the table in three." - read the book if you don't believe me, but it's very "suitable" for the situation...just like a semi-erotic mind trip with a fictional female vampire character from her favourite book "Bloodbitten", a book where the female vampire character has a romantic relationship with both a woman, and her daughter(?!), i was not sure since the next quote is confusing, and it was "the romance that Aida had read for and the thrill"
"The room will be preserved, pickled, all those teenage juices jarred for posterity." - another image i did not need or want
"immune to the cold from how beautiful they are with their gold-smeared cheekbones and their lips closing around the cigarettes as purposefully as if they are being photographed." - everyone thinks it's cool to have a shot smoking?
"She could get curtains, a lamp, the kind that ladies in old movies threw silk scarves over when they had a lover visit. It seemed then to be teeming with possibility" - of a brothel scene?
[the book includes] "A full account of every time they's had sex" - and i ask myself if that list was needed...and i can also say, it's not great, the details, the drugs and the alcohol, especially...
"She texts Iris a picture of him [Ehsan] chopping fruit to go on top of them" - i'd..text that pic not, i need to be honest here
"The night before they had the sort of sex that can save a relationship. She's worn garters and stockings under jeans and (...) they did shots" - honestly still, i don't think there is "sex that can save a relationship", not really, and definitely not like that...and in the book, they do break up, it's one of the main premises, their 10y breakup
"It seems that once sex has been had, it is relatively easy to have it again" - this was about a person cheating on their partner, but he is much "loved" still...even when "In the mornings, there is a 50-50 chance you will feel bad about what happened"...only 50%, your average coin toss (spending money reference)?
[when Aida goes missing] "She could have appeared anywhere. The woman in the red beret ordering a cappuccino in the line ahead of us. In the gas station shop, picking up gum and a newspaper. Every glamorous stranger seemed to belong to this kingdom of possibility." - all that "glamour"...say i while chewing gum and thinking about red (hat) lights
"There were surgeries that could have done that. She could have taken a picture of a girl like that, of this particular one, who said her name was Kiki, to a surgeon and come out with a different body, a different face." - so simple...
also, she is "a god", " a gift", "an innocent babe", "a lioness", and definitely looks "like a painting"...said way too many times, over and over...and quite a few more "gems" like this.
this was 1 star, barely that, to be honest.
The way it reads is as if the main character, the "fabulous", "special", "sublime", Aida, is the alter ego, secret wishful thinking desire persona, of the author herself, and she is so incredibly fake and shallow, but wishing to portray herself as "unique", "delicate", "victim" of society, with a "difficult life", so "tortured", so "deep", "trying" so much, yet being so "misunderstood".
Every sentence in the second chapter, where I stopped for now - this is quite sad - is her complain-bragging about herself.
Reading this is such a drag. This author's values, this idealised Aida persona, are so transparent, and quite toxic.
Speaking of toxic: she is "cool" while being an alcoholic (all that bourbon that she really needs, for her image and addiction), she can barely get herself to bed on tour, after a show (drunk/drugged out of her mind like that, it's not explained, but an obvious logical deduction), but then she has no time to do her laundry, sightsee, and, in general, enjoy her life. And it needs to be "heartbreaking" to the reader. Basically, she keeps complaining she is a victim, while she is the actual problem.
Just saying. Just one example.
I'll keep reading, but I doubt this book shall do a flip and prove worthy.
SO SHALLOW! Quite the giant DARK.
---
after more than a year of avoiding it on my shelf, i decided to finish it.
it was one of the worst books i have ever read. the main character was incredibly disgusting, as she was presented by the author, an egomaniac "heroine", addicted to drugs and drinking, very shallow, always presented under a tone of compliments, some more subtle, but most so obvious, you would not be able to miss them unless you were drunk yourself.
the plot is just a meaningless chase-around only to present the main character as a "poor" always "misunderstood" always "suffering" "hero"...written in an overly-glorifying melodramatic way...with bad skill too, like ridiculous statements and comparisons, all over the book.
examples:
"He rolls up the sleeves to revel his forearms. They are shadowy, muscled; through the hatch his hands look ancient and strong. Like hands that could wrap around the throat of a chicken." - yes, in the universe where strangling a chicken is meant to be sexy...
"If her body were baked into bread, we might have eaten her too" - no average fan thinks about eating another person, this was just a psychotic image the author came up with in her egomania
"If she wasn't going to make it as a singer, Aida would have to be something equally impressive instead; a lawyer or a doctor, something solid and dependable" - taken from the author's superficial mind, were being a lawyer or a doctor is equivalent to being a famous singer..
"[Aida and Ehsan] kissing as if they are sailors just let loose off a ship" - such a strange choice of words to portray a man and a woman kissing...
"His face bracketed between her thighs. Warmth spreading from the bottom of her spine, like she is coming up on a very small amount of molly" - this was one disgustingly presented sex scene, telling me way too much about both the author and the character's drug addiction, most sex scenes just feel off
"When she comes out of the bathroom, she looks more like a rock star than she ever has before. The robe is as fluffy as a bed of murdered kittens" - thanks for the disgusting Cruella image, no, dead kittens are not "sexy" or "rock"
"The waitress in a skirt brings over the menu." - if i were to describe a waitress, i need to be honest, that would not be the relevant thing about a character who only brings the menu, this one time
"If she'd gone back to the hotel, she would be reading Bloodbitten for the 15th time" - give me a break, who reads the same vampire book 14 times, even as a fan?! there was nothing else she would do, anything but read the same book yet another time...
"She had swallowed the book's sentimentality, its bodice-ripping emotions" - this made me nauseous, too many things in this book are too sexualised to give forced compliments to this superficial Aida character
"She cancelled her show in Paris, faking sick for the first time in her life [to go walk around the city with Eshan]" - this was one of the most shallow things for an artist to do, cancel a show last minute faking sick, when people (apparently) got tickets from all over the world to fly in and see her perform, so she can afford all the expensive places she keeps bragging about all over the book she rents for her and Ehsan to stay at, non-stop
"They were eating Magnums in bed, Aida's melting like pudding against her thumb" - another cheap sex reference, yes, that's also a condom brand, so "clever", author...i literally got so tired of all the oral sex references in this book, i was almost gonna abandon it to the very basic trash before finishing it, not after
"Her brain was built for oversized reactions" - as in she was allowing herself by nature to throw bitch fits? this was so ridiculous...
"she doesn't experience things as rationally as he does" - there are logical arguments to not being logical? i missed this rational explanation...
" 'The funny thing about you two,' he said, sucking ice into his mouth and wagging a finger between them, 'is that you put Aida's clothes on and Ehsan takes them off' " - slight insight into Aida's relationship with her manager, he had to be sucking on something when he made a remark about Aida being undressed..
" 'I'm craving a salad. Something green. Something not beige.' " - poor thing, after so many drugs and hard liquor she finally wants a salad, as if she's a hero...
"she looks like a painting" - i had to start benchmarking this comparison of Aida with a painting, it was used way too many times...
"A sex tape would have been less embarrassing than the way she was looking at him" - are you sure, or was this a cue to use the construction "sex tape", i also had to benchmark the references to making a porn video...such a "great" "love" "story" "romance"....
[they] "GOT MARRIED" - obviously in CAPS, because "they had to", but he "proposed"...
"[some type of movie is] personally Aida's least favourite (...) [because] Most of the time in films like that, the leads don't even have sex" - which is terrible, woman trying to talk more about sex related things in any life situation...
"When she was working, he'd go off on adventures, bringing her back presents: doughnuts with mystery fillings, volumes of poetry and short stories, a cut-glass vagina that he insisted she could hang on her window" - this somehow reminded me of pet cats, who bring their owners dead birds and bugs...who wants that "glass vagina" for their window?...just to offer a good view on things in this book too
"[a room Aida had requested] housed her books, her toys." - got it, books are her toys...now what about that "Magnum" ice cream "sex tape" seems to fit the character more...
"appropriate female activities on the same night [as poker night], like a book club or a pole dancing class" - they are incredibly equivalent, yes...and equivalently "appropriate"
"[looking at a place they rented, which was arranged for them by Aida's tour team] There is an air of porn set about it, an expectation. There are probably handcuffs in the drawers." - it's rented, i would not advise using them though...
"[Aida likes horror and reads] one of those thick glossy paperbacks that is 600 pages or so, no gruesome details spared" - i'd marry her right now thoughts, right? have my babies too..."molly" aside
"They shouldn't have sex on the deck, where everyone could see them" - but they do...
"He watches her eat cake, fitting her mouth around the white circle of icing" - another one...i could not figure out if this was a mashup of porn movie images or other random pop-culture movies/books/songs of low quality
"I'm hoping for some athletic after-dinner activities" - a true classic line in your average..situation
"Ice rattling in the glasses like teeth" - goes well with strangling that "chicken" comparison, i guess
"She'd take off her clothes in front of this whole party and let the water close icy around her." - she is not a prude, definitely
"peels off her jewellery" - and i'm like, why was it stuck?!
"Our faces soaked in with tears. We were leaking something onto the floor" - such a beautiful style to write about tears
"If Roger [the manager] climbed on top of her and chocked the life out of her just then, she would probably have let him. If he'd given her a sleeve of cocaine or poured vodka down her throat, she would have taken that too." - yes, we can say she would "take that" like a "sailor" champ...the images portrayed have a very inappropriate feel sometimes, all over the book
"a rhythm remembered like the bass of a nightclub. It was like entering a dreamscape where she could do anything, where consequences did not exist." - great life strategy
"Pakistan where no one goes unless they have to" - that's a bit mean...
"The word 'widow' has always seemed abstractly sexy to her, like a glamorous costume" - that's a bit mean too...
"She smokes furiously. Aida eyes up the pack. She has been good for almost three weeks. They look clean and delicious." - they are also addictive, toxic and addictive
"Aida fingers the pack and pulls out a cigarette." - is that really the best choice of word?
"unethical but too entertaining to stop" - she should have stopped at unethical though
"[to a grieving widow] the bootleggers delivered rum and gin" - a gift from the widow's sister...
"she could be drunk in two drinks, dancing on the table in three." - read the book if you don't believe me, but it's very "suitable" for the situation...just like a semi-erotic mind trip with a fictional female vampire character from her favourite book "Bloodbitten", a book where the female vampire character has a romantic relationship with both a woman, and her daughter(?!), i was not sure since the next quote is confusing, and it was "the romance that Aida had read for and the thrill"
"The room will be preserved, pickled, all those teenage juices jarred for posterity." - another image i did not need or want
"immune to the cold from how beautiful they are with their gold-smeared cheekbones and their lips closing around the cigarettes as purposefully as if they are being photographed." - everyone thinks it's cool to have a shot smoking?
"She could get curtains, a lamp, the kind that ladies in old movies threw silk scarves over when they had a lover visit. It seemed then to be teeming with possibility" - of a brothel scene?
[the book includes] "A full account of every time they's had sex" - and i ask myself if that list was needed...and i can also say, it's not great, the details, the drugs and the alcohol, especially...
"She texts Iris a picture of him [Ehsan] chopping fruit to go on top of them" - i'd..text that pic not, i need to be honest here
"The night before they had the sort of sex that can save a relationship. She's worn garters and stockings under jeans and (...) they did shots" - honestly still, i don't think there is "sex that can save a relationship", not really, and definitely not like that...and in the book, they do break up, it's one of the main premises, their 10y breakup
"It seems that once sex has been had, it is relatively easy to have it again" - this was about a person cheating on their partner, but he is much "loved" still...even when "In the mornings, there is a 50-50 chance you will feel bad about what happened"...only 50%, your average coin toss (spending money reference)?
[when Aida goes missing] "She could have appeared anywhere. The woman in the red beret ordering a cappuccino in the line ahead of us. In the gas station shop, picking up gum and a newspaper. Every glamorous stranger seemed to belong to this kingdom of possibility." - all that "glamour"...say i while chewing gum and thinking about red (hat) lights
"There were surgeries that could have done that. She could have taken a picture of a girl like that, of this particular one, who said her name was Kiki, to a surgeon and come out with a different body, a different face." - so simple...
also, she is "a god", " a gift", "an innocent babe", "a lioness", and definitely looks "like a painting"...said way too many times, over and over...and quite a few more "gems" like this.
this was 1 star, barely that, to be honest.
September 2, 2025
Continuing my tradition of reading books and then deciding to review them months later when I’ve forgotten all about them, we have on our list The Giant Dark, a tale where the writing was more impressive than the story itself.
There’s nothing she wants to hide exactly, she’s just not sure what to say – whether it is more attractive to appear worldly or reserved. The truth of her loneliness, its vast gaping darkness, is impossible to convey. It would be awful if he felt sorry for her.
Based very loosely on the Orpheus and Eurydice tragedy, the book seeks to talk about artists and their muses, but I didn’t go into the story with any expectations given that I have only the vaguest idea about this particular Greek mythology in the first place. Besides, I do think adaptations should always be given some leeway in how they choose to adapt the source material. Some stick close to the original plot while others take only the vaguest theme and extrapolate from that, and while checking whether something is faithful to the original is always a good question to ask, it’s also imperative that we allow the text to exist on its own, to see whether the author has done something new or interesting with an existing piece of art and tried to make it their own.
He has wondered what it might be like to go to see her perform. If through some magic she would know he was there, as if once being in love is a disease that connects them.
In this case, I do believe the author managed to do both: incorporate the themes of artist and muse while also making the text her own, in a story about a rockstar named Aida and her love affair with a man named Ehsan. She even stayed loyal to certain aspects of the style of Greek plays in adding chapters where the fans chimed in with their obsession ruminations about Aida, in a manner reminiscent of a chorus line in the background to the narrative. But what appealed to me personally was less the creative decisions Aida took and more the personal relationships explored in this story.
It is clear to her now that she has never gotten over Ehsan. Everybody told her she would: a million conversations with therapists, with friends who got sick of her, who got sick of her being sick over him. People said it would get better, time heals all wounds and one day, she would wake up and not remember his last name. This never worked. His name is still a punch in the heart.
At its heart the story is about Aida’s relationship with Ehsan and all the ways it affects her life, and while I only particularly remember the ending itself (which would be too much of a spoiler to reveal), I’m a little sad that I don’t remember so much of this book, because from the quotes I’ve saved the writing looks so good.
A person can become a time machine if you leave them alone for long enough, especially when that person is close to you, especially when they are a lover. Their skin can hold everything about you from that time, frozen in their bodies.
In fact, it’s actually pretty interesting how little of the story I truly loved (and now remember fondly), because while I didn’t take notes this time, I did highlight the passages that I liked, and rereading those passages truly makes me wonder how bored I was with the characters, because by all accounts I clearly enjoyed the writing.
They are not here because they find each other beautiful, though she does think Ehsan is very beautiful. The pull between them is heftier than that. If attraction is a piece of string, they are working with ropes of steel.
There’re even a few passages about belonging and being Pakistani and Muslim which ideally should have provided me with a couple paragraphs worth of discussions and analysis and review points, but unfortunately since I have absolutely no context for the quotes I saved and no space in a brain already overstuffed with excel sheets from work and grocery lists for home, we’re sadly going to have to wonder exactly what I planned to say about any of this stuff.
‘You’re Muslim, aren’t you?’ The question darts in so conversationally, you don’t know where it came from. When you look up, she is still smiling.
‘Yes,’ you say, even though you are not sure anymore. Last week, you drank your first beer and the taste of it was rank but you think you might do it again. You’re not entirely sure how things stand between you and God these days. University is unzipping you from the routine of Karachi, the casual way religion stayed bedded into your life.
At the end of the day, I’m not one for rereading books I didn’t much care for, and even barely reread the ones I did love unless I’m in a spectacular slump and am looking for something to dig myself out of my ennui, so it doesn’t look like I’ll be going back to give this book a chance again anytime soon. Which is a sad state of affairs, because maybe it was my particular mood, or the time of the day, or even the angle at which the sunlight was hitting my window that made me not enjoy this as much as I should have. Or who knows, maybe it just wasn’t that good in the first place. All I know is that I’m looking forward to this author’s next book, if only to see whether it was only the writing that was good and the characters left a lot to be desired, or if in a better mood even a reread can be justified.
He can pick apart the lyrics, the way the sound is layered; can taste the difference between her singing in a room and singing on the record, the shift of it. He understands why people love her so deeply: she is the patron saint of a certain kind of tortured youth. He understands why they build altars to her, why they plaster her face on pillar candles, ink her face on their bodies.
***
A quick note for the cover: what even is going on over there?
***
I review Pakistani fiction when I can. The rest of them are up here.
There’s nothing she wants to hide exactly, she’s just not sure what to say – whether it is more attractive to appear worldly or reserved. The truth of her loneliness, its vast gaping darkness, is impossible to convey. It would be awful if he felt sorry for her.
Based very loosely on the Orpheus and Eurydice tragedy, the book seeks to talk about artists and their muses, but I didn’t go into the story with any expectations given that I have only the vaguest idea about this particular Greek mythology in the first place. Besides, I do think adaptations should always be given some leeway in how they choose to adapt the source material. Some stick close to the original plot while others take only the vaguest theme and extrapolate from that, and while checking whether something is faithful to the original is always a good question to ask, it’s also imperative that we allow the text to exist on its own, to see whether the author has done something new or interesting with an existing piece of art and tried to make it their own.
He has wondered what it might be like to go to see her perform. If through some magic she would know he was there, as if once being in love is a disease that connects them.
In this case, I do believe the author managed to do both: incorporate the themes of artist and muse while also making the text her own, in a story about a rockstar named Aida and her love affair with a man named Ehsan. She even stayed loyal to certain aspects of the style of Greek plays in adding chapters where the fans chimed in with their obsession ruminations about Aida, in a manner reminiscent of a chorus line in the background to the narrative. But what appealed to me personally was less the creative decisions Aida took and more the personal relationships explored in this story.
It is clear to her now that she has never gotten over Ehsan. Everybody told her she would: a million conversations with therapists, with friends who got sick of her, who got sick of her being sick over him. People said it would get better, time heals all wounds and one day, she would wake up and not remember his last name. This never worked. His name is still a punch in the heart.
At its heart the story is about Aida’s relationship with Ehsan and all the ways it affects her life, and while I only particularly remember the ending itself (which would be too much of a spoiler to reveal), I’m a little sad that I don’t remember so much of this book, because from the quotes I’ve saved the writing looks so good.
A person can become a time machine if you leave them alone for long enough, especially when that person is close to you, especially when they are a lover. Their skin can hold everything about you from that time, frozen in their bodies.
In fact, it’s actually pretty interesting how little of the story I truly loved (and now remember fondly), because while I didn’t take notes this time, I did highlight the passages that I liked, and rereading those passages truly makes me wonder how bored I was with the characters, because by all accounts I clearly enjoyed the writing.
They are not here because they find each other beautiful, though she does think Ehsan is very beautiful. The pull between them is heftier than that. If attraction is a piece of string, they are working with ropes of steel.
There’re even a few passages about belonging and being Pakistani and Muslim which ideally should have provided me with a couple paragraphs worth of discussions and analysis and review points, but unfortunately since I have absolutely no context for the quotes I saved and no space in a brain already overstuffed with excel sheets from work and grocery lists for home, we’re sadly going to have to wonder exactly what I planned to say about any of this stuff.
‘You’re Muslim, aren’t you?’ The question darts in so conversationally, you don’t know where it came from. When you look up, she is still smiling.
‘Yes,’ you say, even though you are not sure anymore. Last week, you drank your first beer and the taste of it was rank but you think you might do it again. You’re not entirely sure how things stand between you and God these days. University is unzipping you from the routine of Karachi, the casual way religion stayed bedded into your life.
At the end of the day, I’m not one for rereading books I didn’t much care for, and even barely reread the ones I did love unless I’m in a spectacular slump and am looking for something to dig myself out of my ennui, so it doesn’t look like I’ll be going back to give this book a chance again anytime soon. Which is a sad state of affairs, because maybe it was my particular mood, or the time of the day, or even the angle at which the sunlight was hitting my window that made me not enjoy this as much as I should have. Or who knows, maybe it just wasn’t that good in the first place. All I know is that I’m looking forward to this author’s next book, if only to see whether it was only the writing that was good and the characters left a lot to be desired, or if in a better mood even a reread can be justified.
He can pick apart the lyrics, the way the sound is layered; can taste the difference between her singing in a room and singing on the record, the shift of it. He understands why people love her so deeply: she is the patron saint of a certain kind of tortured youth. He understands why they build altars to her, why they plaster her face on pillar candles, ink her face on their bodies.
***
A quick note for the cover: what even is going on over there?
***
I review Pakistani fiction when I can. The rest of them are up here.
July 3, 2023
This book has well and truly given me emotional whiplash… hence the 3 month time period. I have never been so angered yet heartbroken by two characters and the way they float in and around each other. Loved it
Side note: this book gave me extremely vivid and slightly traumatising dreams and Ehsan is Noah kahan coded
Side note: this book gave me extremely vivid and slightly traumatising dreams and Ehsan is Noah kahan coded
March 2, 2023
not sure if it’s 2.5 or 3. i enjoyed the first half much more than the second. i feel like the author is not a pop music fan
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