Valhalla: Absent without Leave

by Lee Gold

“An axe age, a sword age,” Bookwyrm chanted. “A wind age, a wolf age.” “Brothers shall fight and slay each other,” sang Knut. “Garm howls in Hel, and the wolf runs free.” Robin Johnson died a hero's death, rescuing people from a hospital during a California earthquake. So how is a hero rewarded? Robin finds herself not in Christian Heaven but in Valhalla of Norse myths, welcomed by heroes and the guardians of Asgard. But Robin had been something of an oddity in life and continues to be so in the afterlife. She's not content to spend the better part of eternity feasting and fighting and... drinking to Odin's honor. Accompanied by two fellow-heroes, a wolf, a telepathic sword and a chatty red squirrel, the renamed Robin Grima sets out to prevent Ragnarok, the doom in which nearly all the Asgardians die. Their first slay the dragon Nidhog, who gnaws away at the root of Yggdrasil, The World Tree. If they succeed in that, they can confront sea giants, hill giants, mist elves, Fenris Wolf, the Midgard Serpent, and Hel, corpsequeen of the dead. But the only way to really stop Ragnarok is to deal, once and for all, with the mastermind of plots and Odin's foster-brother — Loki himself.

338 pages, Kindle Edition

Published March 30, 2021

Reviews

[Skjam! · Rating 3 out of 5]

Robin “Grima” Johnson didn’t die of cancer, which was something of a surprise, considering it kept coming back. But when an earthquake hit California and made the hospital she was in start to collapse, Robin rose from her bed of pain and worked to save lives. She died heroically when an oxygen tank exploded. And that was one of the things that gave her the opportunity to go to Valhalla.

Robin is gifted a magical sword nearly identical with the one her character Grima used in the long-running Dungeons and Dragons campaign she and her cancer support group played. And as the first new hero to enter Valhalla, the Hall of the Slain, in quite some time, she’s very welcome. She soon makes fast friends with the crew of Door 13, rune worker Bersi “Bookwyrm” Beornson, skald (poet) Knut “Nine-Toes” Vidarson, and the Valwolf, whose true name is a secret.

A few days into her afterlife of battling and dying all day, then getting up just fine and feasting and partying all night, Robin comes to the conclusion that maybe the doom that hangs over the Norse gods is not quite as inevitable as it is depicted in the Eddas. What if, just saying, someone were to remove certain key pieces of the Ragnarok prophecy ahead of time? Might that not somewhat change the ending?

Robin talks her new friends into giving it a shot with her, and they begin a fantastic adventure across the Nine Worlds.

Lee Gold is a long-time member of the science fiction and role-playing communities, having founded the Alarums & Excursions role-playing Amateur Press Association magazine in 1975. She’s written role-playing supplements based on Vikings and Norse lore, but this is her first professionally published novel.

The narrator is one of the characters, chatty and opinionated, and when they enter the story proper, sometimes has trouble staying in third person. Robin acquires other traveling companions as she goes, as well as enemies. For much of the story, the narrator is more interested in sharing tidbits about Norse culture and language, rather than the details of combat, only switching to blow by blow action for the climatic battle.

The Norse mythology setup is more authentic than Marvel Comics’ version, but subverts a lot of what you might normally expect by the end. Not for nothing does Loki have many nicknames!

While this book can certainly be read by senior high-level readers on up, it is very much a book for adults, full of adult concerns. (Robin is at least in her late twenties at the time of her death, and only still in college by dint of changing majors to keep getting student health insurance.) I found the passages about Robin’s experience with cancer harrowing.

Content notes: Frank discussion of human body parts, sex, rape, and Norse cultural attitudes. Loads of violence, getting gory in places. Various kinds of prejudice.

The narrator’s snark gets tiresome in places, which makes sense with their personality, but still.

I should mention that this book is complete in one volume. While room is left for a sequel, it ties up properly at the end, so you don’t have to worry about signing on to another endless fantasy series. It’s small press, and there are refreshingly few typos, but I don’t like the cover.

This is certainly a fresh take on Norse mythology, and recommended to mature fantasy fans.

[Jerry · Rating 5 out of 5]

The ocean air was cold and damp, and the only reason the humans didn’t catch their death of cold was that they were already dead.

If you’re a fan of Norse mythology, or even the fake Norse mythology of modern popular culture, you will love this book. The story is rooted deeply in the real thing, but treats it both with respect and with humor. One of my favorites lines is “On the other hand (though Tyr doesn’t have one of those)…” The narrator especially is genius, which I’m not going to give away.

The main character, Robin Grima, died while in the hospital for cancer. While she didn’t die in bed (there was an earthquake, and she helped nurses pull patients to safety), she doesn’t understand how she ended up in Valhalla. Her only knowledge of fighting comes from playing Dungeons and Dragons.

“You can learn fighting skills, Robin Grima. You can’t learn courage.”

That’s not a popular thought in modern culture.

Much of the story is about change vs. the eternal, and only that which cannot change is eternal.

A garden in sunless Jotunheim? Skadistead’s garden was rich with gold roses and gold sunflowers and gold daisies. None of them would ever lose their petals unless a thief stole them. None of them would ever grow. They were all cold metal, forged by dark elves, but they shone bright in the fire-gold glow of Gerd’s hair.

Much of the story is about Robin recognizing what can be changed, and what cannot.

The narration is both serious and humorous, as befits the narrator. Sometimes both.

“We don’t know the name of the Naglfar’s captain. The prophecies don’t say everything.”
“The prophecies just say that when Ragnarok comes, everybody will fight and everybody will die,” Robin Grima said bitterly.
“Well,” said Knut, “at least that way nobody’s in a hurry for it to come.”

Sadly, it sounds like a lot of people in the Nine Worlds are in a hurry for it to come, or at least are looking forward to the killing. That’s what Robin Grima and her Valhallan friends, after a suitable learning period on the fields of Valhalla, set off to do something about. In the process, we meet all the famous families of Norse mythology from the Fenris Wolf to the Midgard Serpent. There is intrigue and fighting, a battle that literally tips back and forth, a whole lot of dying and suffering.

But there is also great beauty among the suffering.

The cold waters around us were full of falling stars and falling souls, as they tumbled down the Hel Falls, to the lower worlds. We fell past Midgard and saw Orm encircling the human lands.

[Sandra Park · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found it hard to follow in places. Perhaps more familiarity with the Norse mythology would have helped? Interesting story and worth a read.