Yet another Self-help Book-of the-Month that reinforces the ego and the endless cycle of so-called "self-help."
Seems like most of these reviews were written by "Karen" for "Karens." There's a lack of acknowledgment of cultural differences, including race, gender, class, and social-economic status. These are First World problems focusing on fixing the self without regard to others. A very egocentric way of looking at change.
The egocentric idea that you can fix and control yourself into accomplishing your goals seems counterintuitive to the psychological goals of unconditional self-acceptance of self and others. It is a very Western idea, based on both capitalism and spiritual greed, that you can change through self-will by overly focusing on yourself.
After all, it's the ego-driven goals and self-will that probably got you into this mess in the first place. Just ask any addict, whether they are addicted to food, drugs, people, or even "self-help:" real change starts with awareness of self, and no book will do that work for you.
Unfortunately, a lot of readers will identify with the character of "Beth," the fake protagonist of the book.. A lot of readers won't relate to "Beth" at all. But the thing is: "Beth" is not a real person, she's a hypothetical construct made-up to serve and support the pseudoscience in this book.
The logic is: if a fake, imaginary person can be helped by this book, then so can I! That's not evidence-based science. It's manipulation.
Actionable change comes through awareness/acceptance of your attachments/addictions. While the main "Karen" of the book...in this case the fictional "Beth," desires to understand why she keeps sabotaging herself in her eating disorder; perhaps she would be better off surrendering her ego and letting go of trying to fit into societal norms of beauty and health.
The message I get from this book is I need to lose weight, not that I need to learn to accept myself. "Beth" seems to be in denial from beginning to end, focusing on external goals than on who she is inside.
Maybe addressing her addiction to food, or approaching exercise as something fun to do rather the focusing on the "shoulds" would benefit Beth: I should lose weight, I should do this and that. The character really seems to be "shoulding" herself and that's where I see the real self-sabotage.
I'm noticing many of the reviews who give this book 5 stars received a free copy for an "honest" review. Yeah, right. (I wonder how they would feel if they fulled-price for their copy). These compensated reviewers say things like I'm really going to use this book and try the exercises. Typical self-help. They read it, feel good about what they read, but the change won't come from the book doing the work; the person must do the work: journal, meditate, engage with the community, grow through relationships with others.
This is why therapy and 12-step groups work -- by engaging with others, change comes through relationships. Rarely will a person spontaneously, permanently change by sitting at home reading a book. Because it's learning to deal with stress, conflict, and sabotage in "real-time" relationships -- that is the true test of change.
And so much of the book is obvious: take self-assessments, journal, breakdown your goals into steps. All of this can be done for free; you don't need to spend money on a book to tell you the obvious. ANd the Audible version is even worse, by the way -- if you are looking for a motivational speaker, look elsewhere.
Is the author trying to self-sabotage herself by saying in the end, you need to find whatever works for you? Is that the takeaway: go figure it out on your own? Then why did I just spend money and time adding yet another book-of-the-month self-help book to my library?
If I were the author, I would have encouraged Beth to get to a 12-step program for overeating and food addiction, because all the self-help exercises in the world won't matter if you can't deal with your internal attachments/addictions first.
In fact, this book might strengthen your problems: by fighting to fix things with your ego, you may be giving your self-sabotaging patterns more power whether you realize it or not.
Perhaps the book should also focus on how to stop sabotaging others. We do this everyday in our "me-first" society. In fact, the author seems more self-focused on helping her TV career than helping real people. It seems very selfish to emphasize overly focusing on helping yourself, which often just increases defense mechanisms and resistance to helping others.
In summary, we grow through relationships, whether it be through family, partners, fellowships, or therapy. Self-sabotage is just the flipside to narcissism and egocentric selfishness.