Pitbull

by Simon McHardy

When a psychotic pitbull and a sex-offending chihuahua end up together on death row, an unholy alliance is formed. Bribed into performing sexual favors and gang retributions, the two are released to pursue their flesh and pussy fantasies. 

Genres: Horror, Splatterpunk

43 pages, Unknown Binding

Published April 9, 2021

About the author

Simon McHardy is the author of the infamous MOTHER MAGGOT. He lives a reclusive life in Tasmania Australia. Due to the extreme nature of his books, most are exclusive to Godless.com.

Reviews

[Mort]

In the 18th century there was a man named Marquis de Sade.
He wrote some shit.
It was described as sick, revolting, vile, disgusting, amoral and abominable. Anyone with even a shred of dignity would never lay their eyes on that kind of filth.
It caused such an outrage, he spent most of his adult life in prisons and mental asylums.

In the 21st century there was a man named Simon McHardy.
He wrote some shit.
It was beyond description.
When the ghost of the Marquis de Sade read his work, he blushed and turned over in his grave.

[Janie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh, dog dammit, this was such an awesome story! Simon McHardy's newest captivating adventure is flowing in gore deluxe and has badass yet relatable characters. Brucer and Andy are two canines that will take the time to mess with anyone and have a ball (or two). I loved it. Next, please, Simon.

[MadameD · Rating 5 out of 5]

What can i say ? I have a very immoral sens of humor .
I managed to be shocked , disgusted , and to laugh at the same time .

I knew "Pitbull" , by Simon McHardy was going to be gory, but I didn't expect that level of madness .

At the end of the story I barely blinked while reading . I couldn’t believe what I read was actually written.
Sometimes I read the sentences twice to be sure.

So far Simon McHardy never disappointed me. 👑

If you’re looking for a very shocking , gory and very disturbing story, I highly recommend this book to you.
But first you need to read Mother Maggot, to be prepared to enter in Simon McHardy imagination.

[Rayne Havok · Rating 5 out of 5]

TEN INCHES UNCUT
From the description, you'd think this book is just a crackpot trying to think of the weirdest shit to write. But throw Simon Mchardy's name on it and it turns into a masterpiece!
This has got to confirm that Simon is absolutely certifiable, off his rocker, and beyond the scope of understanding.
How he manages this story with such authenticity is enviable.
And that ending! Perfection.
Mchardy is an instant-buy for me.
All the stars

[Hail Hydra! ~Dave Anderson~ · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Brucer, get your ass moving. I’ve lined up the pussies.” My eyes snap open, and I am rewarded with a huge, toothy grin. Andy’s stands over me. His tail wags fast enough to fly off.

[Daniel Volpe · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another brutal, disgusting and hilarious gem from the Aussie Sicko himself, Simon Mchardy. This story is a tale of friendship between Brucer, the carnivorous and horny pitbull, and Andy, the sex offending chihuahua. These two team up and raise hell with their red rockets and sick appetites. Mchardy blends the lines of absurd, vile, gory and hilarious, beautifully in this story. There's tons of killing and sex, but it's well done and fitting to the story. Mchardy also knows his audience and keeps this story short and to the point. His knack for telling a complete, vibrant and funny story is the reason why he's a hot topic in the world of extreme horror. I look forward to his next work.

[Nikki · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a story from a dogs point of view. Don’t go thinking it’s like Benji or Homeward bound where you have the cute dogs with adorable personalities, think more like Cujo on effing steroids X 1000. Gory, gross, bloody and disgusting. I expect nothing less from Simon, and always have a great time reading his books!

[John The Crippledgimp · Rating 5 out of 5]

What the fuck was that? I'll tell ya what it was. It was the craziest most violent, funny, and awesomely original bizarro \horror story that I've read so far this year. Pitbull makes Cujo look like a bitch. This book is so bad ass and now I want a bloodthirsty, psychotic, horny Pitbull and Chihuahua to call my own. 😆😆😆😆. If you want a quick violent, brutal, fucked up read definitely check this of you won't be disappointed.

[Ryder Kinlay · Rating 5 out of 5]

.This was my first introduction to Simon McHardy and um, wow! Let’s just say you might rethink giving your dog the snip and what’s going on in its mind. Short and brutal. I was laughing at times at how bloody insane in its extremity and wondering how McHardy would top the last scene throughout my read. He somehow did. It grabbed you by the throat from the beginning and wouldn’t let you go until the end. You have to like extreme horror (it’s riddled with violence and perversity) to like Pitbull, I loved it and can see why many are talking about the author. Five stars.

[Simon McHardy · Rating 5 out of 5]

'Howard Bound' it's not. Exclusive to Godless.com

[Mounkey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow I wasn’t expecting that!!! I thought I was getting into some cujo type book.

Lots of copious gore, blood, sex (lol) and add the most hilarious (only Simon can pull off) humor!

Cheers mate!

[DA · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is gory, twisted and insane with a little bit of humor. I hate myself for liking it as much as I do.

[River Dixon · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've seen a lot of reviews already claiming that this is McHardy's finest work to date. While I will always hold a soft spot in my heart for Mother Maggot, I have to agree. This story is incredibly entertaining: a unique perspective, dark humor, gory violence, sex that feels oddly familiar; you name it, it's in here. It's true, the author has outdone himself with this.

[Negan88 · Rating 5 out of 5]

Simon McHardy is a Gore God!!!

Simon just keeps getting better and better! I absolutely loved this story of Brucer, and his side kick Andy. The creativity, chaos, and carnage are abundant in this visceral bloody good read!
McHardy most definitely has a style of his own, and I can honestly say it is decadently depraved. I am a huge dog lover, and I wouldn’t have even dreamt of a gore fest story from the point of view of the dog! Absolutely genius! The ending to this terrorific romp through a canine’s eyes is the icing on the cake.
Bravo Simon! I crave more, and you definitely deserve five gut strewn stars out of five lady bit covered stars!

[Michael · Rating 5 out of 5]

Holy shit was this insane. The view point of the pitbull is awesome. You actually feel like you're the dog while reading the story. Andy the sex offender dog is a great character. Simon's writing style is great. Now onto Mother Maggot.

[Vicky Lelove · Rating 5 out of 5]

Who let the dogs out?? Woof Woof Woof..
Obviously Mr McHardy did.

Seriously, how do I even review this.
Funny enough, I've just recently read a certain novel with a rabid killer St. Bernard dog... solely because a certain famous author can't remember writing it due to some good auld whiskey and Colombian sugar, hoping it would be a bit out there.
It wasn't but this is.. Told in the POV of a horny pitbull who turns into a carnivorous rapist killer because his owner wants him neutered. It's sick, twisted and hilarious.
It's bizzaro at it's best.
Lassie don't come home, I've become a cat person.

[Rachael · Rating 5 out of 5]

"A dog's got to do what a dog's got to do"

Brucer and Andy adventures are not for the weak or squeamish. I found this fantastic little read quite funny! I don't think I have literally laughed out loud at a book in awhile. The very first page had me laughing! Brilliant! I often wonder what my dogs think as I get out of the shower naked and prance around the bathroom. If it's anything like Brucer or Andy thoughts I will now be locking my two dogs out of the bathroom!!! WTG Simon!! Another sick ass read!

Happy Reading and Splatter On.....

[Lindsay Crook · Rating 5 out of 5]

So I thought I'd read a bit of everything.. Yep I was wrong.. I've never read a dog's POV before and not just any dog.. Brucer the pitbull and his sidekick Andy.. I laughed my butt off reading this oh don't get me wrong it was horrendously bloody and gory but the humour was real. This author is becoming a must buy for me.

[Corrina Morse · Rating 5 out of 5]

WHAT......THE......FUCK!!??!! 😂
This was absolutely insane, completley vile, sick and gross. Total headfuck craziness!! Perfect! I was literally laughing and urging at the same time in places, and the rest of the time my jaw was on the floor!! Awesome!! 🤘

[renee w · Rating 5 out of 5]

All I got is ….WTAF 😭

[Kevin Sweeney · Rating 5 out of 5]

The latest from McHardy is the absolute dog's bollocks, another skull-stomping, eyeball-bursting outrageous onslaught of ultra-violence... though I'm going to have to take issue with a technical matter, which is to do with the size of a chihuahua's "doodle". I have four of the little sods, one of which I use as a stud, and I can assure you that when the old lipstick comes out ready to dispense pooch population-paste it's quite a bit more than an inch. Fuck I'm rambling... never mind my bollocks, read PITBULL.

[Isaac · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brutal, disturbing and hilarious. Simon McHardy is a genius

[Sara ❥ · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was amazingly depraved. Lol.

[Xander Chaos · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fuck yeah ! That was a fresh read. I loved the perspective. Kind of like a Secret Life Of Pets for sick fucks.
Awesome humor to go with the batshit crazy carnage that comes with his books.

[Mark Alexander · Rating 5 out of 5]

McHardy doesn't just break the glass ceiling of decency with this one, he f***ing shatters it into a million pieces. Oddly enough, I personally think this is also his funniest story to date. It had me laughing out loud several times.

[Sawyer · Rating 3 out of 5]

In my quest to read the most fucked up books I can find my poor eyes fell on this book. I will say it was well written and somehow captivating, but holy fuck this was not for me. If you are okay with gore, beastiality, child murder, and any other generally depraved shit you can imagine this book is for you. If you can’t handle the idea that your furry friend could be a depraved baby murdering monster maybe steer clear. I honestly don’t know where to begin or end with this one. I’m giving it three stars because I did laugh at its absurdity and it was a good read overall, but I also cringed and questioned what has brought me to this moment in my life.

[Scott · Rating 5 out of 5]

Simon McHardy is a real book tease with these short(er) stories. This bizarrely beautiful, brutal, bestial and bloody book is so engaging that you can't help but feel upset when you reach the last page. A cleverly concocted purebreed of a perfectly paced page turner uniquely narrated in the first person (first canine?) by a pitbull named Bruce who gets into the sort of zany adventures that would have Scooby Doo dragging his ass across the floor begging for a bone of his own. Alongside a randy chihuahua named Andy, the two let their pink lipsticks loose while humping their way through the types of situations that aren't likely to land McHardy a spot in Oprah's book club. But, fuck her! Pitbull is a truly tasty morsel sure to satiate any horror hound's hunger. I'll happily keep hopping aboard Mr. McHardy's gravy train, because his work has yet to screw the pooch.

[Brittney · Rating 3 out of 5]

Simon will always be one of my favorite horror authors but dog porn just isn't my thing.

[Todd Love · Rating 5 out of 5]

Damn! This needs to be a graphic novel … holy crap! Bizarre and cringe worthy.

[The Yeti Reads and Reviews · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bruce is a pitbull who loves to lick his balls. His family is not too appreciative of it. His family decides that they are going to get him fixed. When Bruce realizes what this means, he is not too pleased about it and violently attacks the vet. This ultimately lands him on doggy death row. While on death row, he meets a Chihuahua named Andy. A tight friendship is formed. Come along on a wholesome adventure of two canine best friends as they reek holy hell on anyone or anything that gets in their way.

Sex, gore, and semen fill the pages of this wild ride. A laugh-out-loud spectacle. A story of friendship, a story of hope A story that will stay with you for a long time. A feel-good story of the ages Check it out!


5 severed fingers out of 5