Whole Notes

by Eddie Ayres

Life Lessons through Music Shortlisted for The Age Non-fiction Book of the Year; People's Choice, Queensland Books of the Year; Booksellers' Choice Non-fiction Book of the Year.

How can we pause long enough to repair ourselves? How can we make space and time in our lives to know ourselves?

One way is through music - learning music, listening to music, being open to music. Because music consoles and restores us. Through music, whether we are listening or playing, we know ourselves more intimately, more honestly, and more clearly with every note. And with every note, music offers us a hand to the beyond.

Through music, we can say what we didn't even know we felt.

This book is an ode to music, and a celebration of humanity's greatest creation. It is not a call to arms, but a call to instruments.

In music, Ed Ayres finds answers to the big questions life throws at us. Using personal anecdotes - including those relating to his transition from Emma to Ed - and observations from teaching and learning music, Ed finds hope in our desire to become whole, with some simple music lessons along the way.

PRAISE

'Whole Notes may appear to be about music, but really, it's simply about how to be kind and how to listen without judgement. Which is the best definition of love, no?' Jessie Tu, Sydney Morning Herald

'A truly beguiling account' Geraldine Doogue

'An almost divine presence' Rick Morton

'This is a gorgeous read. It is entertaining and educating in equal measure, and will leave its readers inspired' Celia Cobb, The Strad

'Don't miss this book - it is an ode to music, by a truly inspirational teacher' Inge Southcott, Loud Mouth, Music Trust e-zine

'Ayres communicates with joy, and clarity, inviting us to walk the journey of life with openness to others' Bishop Ian Palmer, The Melbourne Anglican

'With his collection of essayistic reflections on the beauty of music and what the process of learning it can teach us about life, Ayres has gifted his reader with something truly generous and utterly joyful' Stella Charls, Readings

Genres: Nonfiction, Music, Biography, Memoir, Australia

320 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 1, 2021

About the author

Eddie Ayres has a lifetime of musical experience - from learning the viola as a child in England and playing with the Hong Kong Philharmonic for many years, to learning the cello in his thirties and landing in Australia to present an extremely successful ABC Classic FM morning radio show. But all of this time Eddie was Emma Ayres.

In 2014 Emma was spiralling into a deep depression, driven by anguish about her gender. She quit the radio, travelled, and decided on a surprising path to salvation - teaching music in a war zone. Emma applied for a position at Dr Sarmast's renowned Afghanistan National Institute of Music in Kabul, teaching cello to orphans and street kids.

In Danger Music, Eddie takes us through the bombs and chaos of Kabul, into the lives of the Afghan children who are transported by Bach, Abba, Beethoven and their own exhilarating Afghan music. Alongside these epic experiences, Emma determines to take the final steps to secure her own peace; she becomes the man always there inside - Eddie.

Reviews

[Jennifer (JC-S) · Rating 5 out of 5]

‘This is the moment, before the music begins.’

About twelve years ago, I started listening to ABC Classic in the mornings. A presenter called Emma Ayres introduced me to a world of beautiful music and accompanied me as I gradually started walking my way from ill health to fitness. And over the past twelve years, I have followed Emma through her adventures and books. I missed Emma when she left ABC Classic and then, reading ‘Danger Music’ understood why. Emma's transition to Eddie has enabled him to find happiness in the gender he belongs to. And now, I can hear Ed on ABC Classic (on Weekend Breakfast).

‘This book is an ode to music, and a celebration of humanity’s greatest creation.’

This is a wonderful book, about life, about finding yourself, and about the role of music in that journey — for Ed — and for others. I particularly enjoyed the passages about teaching music to others, about working out what works best for student and teacher. And then there’s Ed’s journey as a student, as he learns to play the horn.

There’s mention of a period when Ed wasn’t playing music and I can imagine what a loss that must have been for him: missing that particularly beautiful part of life.

There is also Ed’s honest, open account of his transition from female to male. He had waited a long time, thinking it would be too difficult. And, yes, it is a difficult process but a necessary one for Ed. I finished the book overjoyed that Ed has found himself. It is never too late, is it?

At the end of the book is a list of music tied to each section of the book I know some of this music (thanks, ABC Classic) and will be exploring the rest.

Bravo, Ed, on having the courage to take this journey and thank you for sharing it with us.

‘There is no such thing as talent, there is only love. Love for what you are learning, and therefore a desire to know it more deeply, more comprehensively, to have that knowledge become part of you, and you of it.’

Note: My thanks to NetGalley and HarperCollins Publishers Australia for providing me with a free electronic copy of this book for review purposes. I have now bought my own copy.

Jennifer Cameron-Smith

[Jaclyn · Rating 3 out of 5]

I challenge you to read this book and not decide to learn a new instrument. I am deciding between the violin and the cello. I loved the way Ayres used stories from his life of music teaching, learning, playing and listening to talk about his identity as a trans man. This is certainly a book for classical music lovers.

[Catherine Davison · Rating 4 out of 5]

I saw Ed Ayres playing the cello outside Piedmonte’s in Fitzroy years ago in what was a spontaneous and heartfelt response to the devastating bushfires. Ed struck me then as a person of such warmth and integrity. Prior to this impromptu street performance I’d only ever heard the beautiful dulcet tones of that gorgeous English voice on the radio introducing classical music on the ABC. Now I’ve read each of Ed’s books and look forward to the next one. I think this book probably will appeal most to those who have ever learnt ( or are thinking about taking up playing) an instrument but it is such an engaging read that I’m recommending it to everyone who loves life. I say that because Ed’s personal journey really does highlight the things that are ultimately important: living true to oneself and appreciating all of life’s lessons. Put on the accompanying CD and enjoy this very easy to read, uniquely personal and at the same time universal, story of how music helps us make sense of the world.

[Jen Gilbert · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book ...I cried, I laughed, I pondered. I felt as if I was in the music lessons with Ed when he was teaching and when he was a learner himself. Ed's story is unique and we are privileged that he has shared his experiences and his philosophies with such humility, humour and insight.

[Saskia · Rating 3 out of 5]

Decided to read this to feel inspired about ~ the power of music ~ and it didn’t really work. Ed is such a great writer and it was cool to have now read books he wrote pre and post transition, but there kind of also wasn’t a point to this book exisiting. Discussions about mental illness & queerness in the classical realm were cool, as was the content about learning new instruments as an adult and teaching methods written about. But I dunno, if I wasn’t forcing myself to read it idk if I would have finished, and it wasn’t impactful as I expected of Ed’s work.

[Roseb · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book! I feel that I will return to it again and again over time.

He is such a wonderful author, thoughtful and poetic, very powerful when required, but an eye for the simplicity and beauty in the world. The book is about how music shapes our lives.

I am a music teacher, and sit well within the target audience, and I wondered if it would be too niche for me to recommend, but it isn't really, it is about living, and life, which applies to everyone!

[Cass · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read a short extract of Whole Notes via Netgalley and the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

Ed Ayres writes beautifully about both his music career as a viola player, and as a transgender man who began transitioning later in life.

"In listening, we find what we need, not what we want."

This section, Bravery, was only a few pages long. However I do want to pick up the complete book soon to read more of Ayres' journey, as a man and musician.

[Nick · Rating 4 out of 5]

“What we think we can do is what we end up being able to do.” Ed Ayres shares his lifelong love, passion and devotion to music. Music teaches us resilience, love, hope, kindness, bravery, wisdom and knowledge. It is a paean to music and a call to take up learning a musical instrument.

[Tony Moore · Rating 5 out of 5]

A wonderful read

There is no better recommendation than to say that this is a book that is filled with humanity , learning and teaching, and music. Having read, you will feel better.

[Kay Parsons · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is an essay on the philosophy of life through music. (Or should that be, the philosophy of music through life?) I would recommend it to anyone who is interested in learning how to appreciate music, and/or a desire to learn to play a musical instrument; or as an encouraging word for anyone studying music. The author has so much experience, including personal obstacles, and sharing these trials and successes has been a joy for this reader.
The story is beautifully presented, including a few laughs and a few tears, it seems a shame to have to have one tiny little nit-pick, and this I lay at the feet of the editor. I am of an age where good grammar is critical to me for ease of reading, and unfortunately the use of bad grammar can cause an otherwise well-presented page to lose credibility. The occasional combination of the plural pronoun with a singular noun causes a bump in the road, and can so easily be avoided by an accomplished wordsmith.

[Steve Maxwell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ed Ayres, known for his weekend radio broadcast on ABC Classic FM, discussed his love of classical music, his learning of the viola, the cello and the horn, his teaching instruments to both young and old, as well as his transitioning from female to male. Wow! That is a lot to take in and digest.

I listened to the audiobook which was narrated by the author, (I love audiobooks read by the authors). Ed's journeys so far through his remarkable life are nothing short of amazing. You don't have to like classical music to appreciate this wonderful read.

[Caren · Rating 4 out of 5]

The ebullient Ed Ayres has delighted me with his Weekend Morning broadcasts on ABC Classic Radio. That's what initially attracted me to his new publication, "Whole Notes: Life Lessons Through Music". Not sure what to expect, I was similarly delighted by this personal, philosophical, and highly sensitive journey through the "gift of music", "the illumination of our lives...humanity's greatest creation."

Ayres takes readers to a deeper understanding of the music that lifts our souls, of the instruments that produce the sounds that excite us, soothe us, and stimulate our memory, and honours the musicians who dedicate themselves to their craft - whether they be professional musicians or children/adults just starting on their rewarding journeys. His "lessons" focus on Bravery, Knowledge, Resilience, Kindness, Wisdom, Hope and Love, each section a treasure chest of examples and guides to the challenges and ultimate fulfilment offered by music to its players and listeners.

I admit to not understanding much of the technical explanations Ayres includes regarding how his various instruments are played: the cello, the viola, and the horn (deemed the most difficult instrument to play). He often lost me on the physical requirements associated with each instrument. But, even with my confusion, I found his discussions compelling and so often metaphors for the journey through life itself. Ayres is as much a philosopher as he is a musician.

What touched me profoundly was his openness in the discussion of his transition from female to male (at the age of 51), often paralleled to an aspect of the challenging process of musicianship. His teaching methods reflected his astute understanding of human behaviour and the absence of his ego in working with his child and adult students. His ability to motivate his learners, as well as himself, was revealed with honesty and warmth. Above all, I came to understand that a "musician is an orator, an oracle, an actor, a poet, a philosopher, a mathematician, a psychologist, an architect, an alchemist". Ayres has significantly intensified my respect for the musician and my understanding of how music continues to imbue my life with meaning.

[Sharon J · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I first started reading Ed Ayres book, Whole Notes - Life Lessons Through Music I wasn’t ready to experience this journey. Seventeen months later I once more came across this book and got myself a copy as the original one I had via NetGalley had expired.

I can now say I was delighted to read this book. Ed’s journey from Emma to Ed and his music experiences was very insightful. Learning to play an instrument as an adult is different and the experience is absolutely wonderful as it certainly gives one insight into ones own self. How one learns and progresses is part of that journey - trying to do too much too quickly is obviously common but one eventually comes to realise that one needs to take ones time and enjoy the journey; enjoy the music and the experience. As an adult I have taken up two instruments - in my forties I took up the flute and then in my sixties I started learning the clarinet - so I truly understand the musical journey that Ed discusses. At the same time I admire him for sharing with his readers the transition that he has gone through in his life.

A very insightful but unusual story.


This review is based on an initial complimentary copy from HarperCollins Publishers Australia via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.

#WholeNotes #Netgalley

[Pharlap · Rating 3 out of 5]

My remote contact with Emma and Ed Ayres started many years ago.
For many years it was listening to smooth voice of Emma presenting classical music on ABC/Classic - Morning.
At that time I had and opportunity to see her in action - ABC/Classic was broadcasted live from Percy Grainger museum.
I saw Emma and I realised that she is not quite comfortable in her role.
Then she disappeared from radio ABC and I met her on a book shelves - Danger Music - a relation from Emma's work in a music school in Afghanistan.
She explained that she could not cope with serene climate of her job and surrounding as she was tormented with a war inside, she needed to be surrounded by danger to keep some balance.
Then came another book - Cadence - relation from a solo bike travel from England to Hong Kong.
It was good to have such an introduction so I could read Whole Notes in relaxed mode.
Basically the book covers whole life of Ed, all experiences intertwined with music.
Experiences are many -daily life issues, experience of a student, performer, teacher, mature age student.
Separate stream are instruments - Ed writes about them with expertise and with love.
I have to admit, that at that point I often felt lost. Still I believed Ed and the list of suggested music added me some confidence.
My rating reflects this experience of being lost.

[Lynne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Whether Ed Ayres is talking about performing, teaching or listening to music, or even taking on the challenge of a new instrument in mid life, there’s so much joy in this narrative about the power of music to heal and restore. He demonstrates this particularly in his own life as he talks about the correlation between the music in his life and his transition from female to male. Using glorious metaphors, his writing is charged with honesty and vulnerability and an overall sense of kindness as well as including delightfully quirky little asides. I was particularly impressed with his creative, student based approach to teaching and his humility in being open to letting his students also teach him. If you’re a music student, a performer, a teacher or a lover of music, this book will delight you. And if you’re just starting to explore the world of classical music, he includes a very helpful coda of listening suggestions at the end. Listening to him read this book in the wee small was like being wrapped in a warm blanket with a sense of humour.

[John · Rating 4 out of 5]

Part memoir concern ayres transition from female to male when he left Kabul as Emma and came to Brisbane, where he taught music, cello and viola, and learned horn himself, while finally going ack to his job in Classic FM. He has a vast knowledge of music and argues how important it is and has been throughout both lives. Lots of stories of children and adult learners trying to extract a lesson from the story of each. The most interesting I thought were the descriptions of the pain, the fulfilment and the technologies of changing gender. This is a very barve book. I really liked Emma’s voice on Classic, Ed perhaps not so much but it is different in timbre having changed with testosterone. He has a relationship with music way beyond my understanding and indeed with his pupils. Sometimes the jokes wear thin but there is n doubt he is a super talented guy in writing, music, and emotional intelligence.

[ZieriaRose · Rating 5 out of 5]

If music has touched you, interested you, helped form you, or just for anyone who loves music really (which surely is everyone) - especially classical music in the broad sense - professional musicians, casual players, music students both child and adult, music teachers, music listeners, you will love this book! And you might decide it’s never too late to learn an instrument or take up a second instrument if you are already a player. Ayres also talks quite openly about his transition from Emma to Eddy, which just adds to the rich content and commentary in this book. Even better - you can listen to the audio book read by Ed himself with his rich musical voice, sensitive expression, soft accent; it is a delight to listen to. I’ll never be able to say *viola* in a broad Aussie accent again!

I thoroughly recommend it. (In Australia the audio book is available on the ABC listen app, free).

[Katherine Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book came at the right time for me (when the student is ready, the teacher arrives?), so perhaps it flavours my rating… perhaps the combination of music, teaching, learning, art and resilience that makes me lean towards 5 stars. Perhaps perhaps.
Slick and profound, with the right amount of musical anecdotes - it’s really no wonder people take up an instrument after this.
I wonder if you would get something out of the book if you were not interested in music or interested in teaching and learning? I found a lot of good tidbits that help a curious sports coach / teacher like myself.

I recommend reading this with Spotify beside you, I enjoyed listening to the music that he mentioned throughout the book, adding songs to my future wish to learn list.

[Sam · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a love letter to music from start to finish and how music can be a companion as well as a comfort. Ed writes with honesty but wraps it all in such warmth.
When you pick up this book you can’t help but hear the echoes of all the instruments in the world tuning up, followed by that anticipatory silence as Ed takes you by the hand and shares his journey.
As a long time (and very loyal) ABC Classic listener I am delighted that Ed has returned and presents weekend breakfast. My alarm remains set for 6am on the weekends…and for someone who likes her sleep, this is high praise indeed. A book filled with Hope, Kindness and Love. Just the sort of read to begin the year.

[Judy Wollin · Rating 4 out of 5]

The biography Ed had written about his life intertwines his lifelong love of music and his acceptance of being transgender and taking the decision to transition. The detailed descriptions of young and old musicians coming to grips with their instruments and playing music provides enlightening insights for non-musicians.
The journey of recognising he is transgender, finding acceptance and living as the person Ed found is skilfully woven into the book. It, too, provides important insights for cis men and women.
Recommended for young adults and adults, particularly those with a love of music and those who want to explore and learn about the world of music.

[Heather Boundy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ed Ayres has a particular way of telling his personal story through the medium of music - both learning, playing and teaching. The life choice of transitioning from Emma to Eadric (Eddie) Ayres was not without its pain, and in this story he expresses the healing power of music and its importance throughout his life. Any one remotely interested in music will find this a fascinating read, especially if you are a musician. A brave and thoughtful book.

[Ellen Brown · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this book. ‘Life lessons through music’ could not be a better description. So easy to read; You can pick this book up at any point and enjoy a few pages or even whole chapters. Ed writes with depth, wisdom, and poignance and with such a sense of humour. I had a good laugh. This book will inspire you to pick up a new instrument, it’s never too late to learn and will give so many gifts along with the music itself.

[Genevieve Dingle · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have loved Ed’s voice on ABC Classic and now in narrating his story. He generously shares the process of learning a difficult musical instrument and teaching musical instruments to new students (young and mature) and the process of his transition from Emma to Ed. All embodied journeys, and marked by setbacks, doubts and triumphs. Brilliant.

[Lw · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautiful and moving book tracing Ed's journey, through music, teaching, discovering the joys of a new instrument (the horn) and adjusting to a major life change.
I have followed Ed's career on the ABC radio and it makes my heart glad to read of his happiness and love for his music, his students, the horn and his joyful acceptance of his male identity.

[John Ferguson · Rating 5 out of 5]

what an incredible and sensitive account of the magic of music and what it gives to all who practice and play! And such a brave and honest account of Ed’s journey through identity , teaching and music . thank you - you’ve inspired me to continue my practice and playing journey

[Jacinta · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book had me from the prelude. Filled with anecdotes about students of all ages, the challenges and trials of learning an instrument, observations from a teacher's perspective - it gets to the heart of music and what a powerful accompaniment it is to our lives.

[Amanda Witt · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful on every page.
As I am an amateur musician, I understood every word describing playing, music lessons for both kids and adults, and the finesse of concerts.
Interspersed among these reports are bits of Ed's journey that give this book the personal touch.

[Taylor Douglas · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautiful book full of incredible life stories, beautiful quotes and some lovely perspective. As a musician, it gave me a sense of gratitude for my life pursuit of music and connection to another who is working through it all. Thank you, Ed.

[Alison · Rating 2 out of 5]

Couldn’t finish this one. Loved the first book, but you can’t just keep writing the same thing over and over with more and more trite sentimental aphorisms about music and how good it is for humanity. It makes me want to puke. Disappointing.

[Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a book for all musicians. It's full of wisdom and poetic thoughts about the power of music, and the power of practicing and learning to play an instrument. I loved the way that Ed Ayres melded his own story with that of his musical journey - it was such a moving and beautiful read.