Coffee, Rabbit, Snowdrop, Lost

by Betina Birkjær, Anna Margrethe Kjærgaard (Illustrator), Sinéad Quirke Køngerskov (Translator)

A beautiful, candid picture book for children to understand what happens when a loved one begins suffering from dementia, and how best to care for them. A 2022 Mildred L. Batchelder Honor Book 
A Finalist for the 2022 Kirkus Prize in Young Readers’ Literature
A USBBY Outstanding International Book of 2022
A Bank Street College of Education Best Book of 2022
A 2021 Penn Graduate School of Education Best Book for Young Readers
Gerontological Society of America Book Award for Best Children’s Literature on Aging of 2022, Honorable Mention Stump loves being with his grandparents. His days with them are filled with flowers, jigsaw puzzles, crossword puzzles, and so much love! But one day, Stump's grandfather starts to be forgetful, losing his words, which the illustrations how as falling away from him. Stump tries his best to keep his grandfather’s lost words safe, by collecting them in a special box. But Grandpa seems to forget more and more every day, and before long, Stump and Grandma realize that they must find new ways to connect with Grandpa, to maintain their bond of love and show him that he's not alone.
This poignant, tender picture book depicts the warmth of the relationship between grandchild and grandparents, as well as the struggle of coping with a loved one's dementia with honesty and sensitivity. Following the story, there is an afterword to the adult reader about dementia and recollection, written by the head of the Danish Center for Reminiscence, which provides some practical tips, such as those depicted in the story (familiar smells, sharing items from the past), for establishing a meaningful way of being together when caring for a relative with dementia.

Genres: Picture Books, Family, Childrens, Realistic Fiction, Fiction, Mental Health, Health

44 pages, Hardcover

First published January 8, 2019

About the author

Betina Birkjær made her debut as a children’s author in 2014. She has a degree in drama and trained as a scenic artist. Since 2004, she has worked as a performer, and since 2011, as an installation artist. Additionally, in 2005, she began working with the Spanish theater group Teatro de los Sentidos, and she is also the artistic director of Luna Park Performing Arts. Coffee, Rabbit, Snowdrop, Lost is her first book to be published in the United States.

Reviews

[Dave Schaafsma · Rating 4 out of 5]

2022 Mildred L. Batchelder Award Honor Book for best translated children’s book. A Danish story about a kid who visits Grandma and Grandpa, who is losing his words. Grandpa loves coffee, he once had a rabbit, and he knows (at the beginning of the story) the Latin names for all 123 plants he has in his sun room. Grandma does her crosswords and counts on Grandpa. Until he can't. And she is sort of angry at how stupid he is getting. He can't recall the names for the flowers, he takes wine glasses out instead of coffee cops

One night Grandma goes to bed angry at him, and Grandpa and she fall asleep on the couch, but in the middle of the winter night the kid wakes up cold, the door is open, and Grandpa is gone. He's looking for the rabbit he had when he was a kid. Along the way they find words along the tracks in the snow. I like this touch of magical realism in the story; maybe wish there were more like it. A second one might be the box of words the kid keeps.

So the kid proposes a party, just as in the wedding pictures she sees in the house. Grandma wears her wedding dress and they dance and dance. They buy Grandpa a rabbit and adjust as joyfully as they can to the new present they are living in. I like the tone and intimacy of the illustrations; the story is not surprising, but I like the title, the box of words. And an afterword for parents and kids on dementia and all you can do to help your grandma and grandpa.

[Michelle Olson · Rating 5 out of 5]

SO sad but SO good. Love the explanation of dementia at the end.

[Mina Asgari · Rating 4 out of 5]

نشر پرتقال به نام کلمه های گم شده بابابزرگ چاپش کرده. اول خیلی جذب تصویر سازی جلدش شدم برای همین شروعش کردم.
واقعا تصویر سازیش زیبا بود همچنین ترکیب رنگ هایی که داشت.
میشه گفت یک داستان کوتاه برای کودکان برای درک مفهوم زوال عقل بود که جالب بود به نظرم.

[Fahimeh · Rating 4 out of 5]

کتاب را با ترجمه ی پریسا هاشمی طاهری از انتشارت پرتقال خوندم .
کتاب روان و کم حجمی بود در رابطه با مواجهه ی کودکان با بیماری زوال عقلِ پدربزرگ و مادربزرگ ها
و همینطور یادگیری نحوه ی چگونگی کمک کردن به افراد مبتلا برای بازیابی زندگی روزمره و برقراری ارتباط با اعضای خانواده .
خیلی شیرین و کودکانه به موضوع پرداخته شده بود ، طوریکه کودک دچار پیچیدگی و عدم فهم موضوع نشه .
فکر میکنم اینکه بچه ها با مشکلات بزرگ تر ها به زبان و به اندازه ی درک خودشون آشنا بشن واقعا ضروریه .

[Bean · Rating 4 out of 5]

Three stars for the story, but an extra one for the helpful author's note about supporting loved ones with dementia.

[itselv]

جد في بداية اصابته بالزهايمر، زوجته، وحفيدته، هذه هي القصة.
تلاحظ الحفيدة إصابة جدها قبل أيِّ أحد، تنتبه لكيف بدأ ينسى كلمات اعتاد على قولها، لم يعد يتذكر أسماء الزهور والنباتات المحببة إلى قلبه، والتي كان يتباهى بقدرته على حفظ أسمائها وكيفية العناية بها. حتى قهوته الصباحية، لم يعد يعرف كيف يشربها، ولا ماهي من الأساس.
شيئًا فشيئًا، بدأ ينسى زوجته، حفيدته، وحتى نفسه. تُنبِّه الحفيدة الجدة، وبذلك، تأخذ الجدة بيد زوجها، فتهدئه وتعاونه، وتحاول هي والحفيدة رسم السرور على قلبه، وتنجحان في ذلك.
قصة قصيرة توضح مرض الزهايمر وكيفية التعامل معه. مناسبة جدًا للأطفال، فالرسومات واختيار الألوان عذب جدًا جدًا، والقصة بسيطة سلسة ومفهومة.

[Jenny · Rating 4 out of 5]

2022 Mildred L. Batchelder Award honor book for best translated children’s books. Beautifully illustrated, sad story about a child whose grandfather starts exhibiting increasingly worsening symptoms of dementia.

[sham - شام · Rating 3 out of 5]

so sad .. yet so sweet ..

that book is a sign to love and enjoy the small moments with your grandparents even tho they grew old and they start to forget ..

[Caitlin · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found Coffee, Rabbit, Snowdrop, Lost on the American Library Association's 2022 Mildred L. Batchelder Award list. I checked out a translated version from my library.

In this picture book you will find beautiful illustrations and simple text filled with complex ideas and emotions. As someone with family living with dementia, I found this story to be very powerful and relatable. The grand daughter, Stump, spends time with her grandparents by sitting at the table doing crosswords while they drink coffee and helping her grandfather with his collection of flowers. As the story progresses, her grandfather begins to “lose” words which is shown in the illustrations and acting differently than before. The granddaughter and her grandmother begin doing things for him to bring back some of his memory such as using the smell of coffee and getting him a rabbit like when he was a child. This story is translated to make it accessible for all students. Even though the topic is heavy, it is expressed in a way that is appropriate for all ages.

[Rhianna A · Rating 5 out of 5]

Coffee, Rabbit, Snowdrop, Lost, a Batchelder honored title, is a powerful story that highlights a child's perspective when it comes to the loss of a loved one. The main character, Stump, has a strong relationship with her grandparents. Her grandfather would spend time with Stump, sharing experiences, as well as his language with her. Specifically, the author included Latin words that showed the power of passing one's knowledge of language down to the next generation. As her grandfather's health and memory declined, Stump became the keeper of his words. This book can be a powerful tool that can be relatable to anyone who has a close relationship with grandparents or any other adult, as the author used the perspective of a child to highlight the impact of a decline on a child. Further, the author uses the relationship between the grandfather and the grandmother to highlight how sometimes adults can be less willing to accept difficult realities, as the grandmother appeared to be in denial of the grandfather's declining health. This can serve as a mirror for students who live in multi-generational homes, as they are often firsthand witnesses of the decline and loss of a grandparent that has played an influential role in their childhood. Furthermore, this can open the doors to a conversation around the power of language, and provides an opportunity for students to explore the languages of their families, as well as new languages they may not be familiar with. This would be a great text to use with both elementary and middle school students, and can be accessed in print or through a digital read aloud!

[Meredith · Rating 4 out of 5]

A young girl — and her grandmother — must adjust as her grandfather develops dementia.

An afterword about "dementia, memory, and reminiscence" is included.

This story is sad yet gentle and hard hitting. A young girl who spends a lot of time with her grandparents noticed that her grandfather is starting to become forgetful and confused. His loss of words is depicted in the illustrations as words literally falling to the ground, which his granddaughter then picks up and puts in a box.

After he wanders outside without a coat one night looking for his childhood pet and doesn’t recognize his family members who find him, the girl and her grandmother are forced to acknowledge and accept his condition. They must find new ways of interacting with him, which is easier for the granddaughter who takes the lead.

This would be an excellent book to share with young children whose family member has been diagnosed with dementia or is experiencing cognitive decline. It shows that while a loved one will never be one’s old self again, there is hope of forging a new relationship with the person s/he has become.

[Kate McCartney · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a gut punch. I wish I had known what this was about so I could have prepared myself.

A young girl who spends a lot of time with grandparents notices that her grandfather is losing his words. The gorgeous illustrations move through the seasons as the grandfather goes deeper into his dementia. The part I disliked is that the grandmother had no idea what was happening until near the end. There is no way that the person leaving closest to a person with dementia wouldn’t have noticed right away.

2022 YMA Margaret L Batchelder honor book

[Kate · Rating 4 out of 5]

Soft pastel-colored art goes well with this quiet and heartwarming story of a girl and her love for her grandfather who has dementia. Colorful, blooming flowers change to drooping plants losing their leaves as grandfather loses his words and sits blue, figuratively as well as literally in the art, near a window. Light returns to the pages as the girl and grandmother care for grandfather and the flowers, and bring some happiness as life changes. A note on dementia and memory is at the end.

[BellesEndormies 🌙 · Rating 5 out of 5]

« Vient l’automne. Et pendant que les arbres perdent leurs feuilles, Papy perd de plus en plus de mots. »

Énorme coup de 💙

[Kate · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bittersweet and heartbreaking and beautiful in the best way. The breathtaking illustrations caught my attention but the message of memory and loss and patience will stick with me far longer.

[Ashley Adams · Rating 5 out of 5]

As time goes on, Grandpa starts to lose his words. To lose his memory. Grandma starts getting frustrated with slip-ups, but granddaughter Stump tunes into what she knows about her Grandpa. She offers tactile and scent experiences that help her Grandpa find some footing. She helps Grandma care more tenderly for the life around them.

[Elisabeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rah, le style des illustrations, j'adore!

[Lo Wayward Tomes · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dementia books always hit me different, since it runs in my family, and I've had multiple grandparents diagnosed with it. This was such a sweet way to introduce or explain what could be happening to a loved one from a child's perspective.

[Makena Campbell · Rating 4 out of 5]

Published: 2o21
Award: Bacthelder

A story about a little girl who appears to live wiht her grandparents. She notices that overtime, her grandpa is losing words for things that he used to know off the top of his head. There are words hidden throughout the beautiful illustrations.

This is a super quick and sad read. It could be very beneficial for students dealing with a loved one who is navigating dementia. The main character in the story makes the best of things and can be a light for students, showing them that they can still keep their loved ones close.

[Tiffany H. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Coffee, Rabbit, Snowdrop, Lost by Betina Birkjaer is such a sweet and touching story. This book is the recipient of the Mildred Batchelder Award (2022), in addition to being on the Children's Notable Award list for 2022. This book was located on the ALSC website and then checked out at the local library.

The story is told from the perspective of a young boy who notices that his grandfather changes over time and he (the narrator) treats him very sweetly. I like how the pictures captioned what was going on in the story. If it were a wordless picture book young readers would be able to make predictions of what was happening in the story. I like how the colors of the illustrations were very soft as well.

In the beginning of the story the narrator, whose grandfather nicknamed him “Slump” spends precious moments with his grandfather. He is proud that his grandfather has an abundance of flowers and gave them all Latin names. Slump and his grandfather talk and do things like work on puzzles, and while the grandfather drinks his coffee Slump drinks his juice.

In the middle of the story, time passes and seasons change. Slump begins to notice that grandfather is not the same. The grandmother has not paid attention to the grandfather to know that something has gone wrong. Meanwhile, Slump has noticed that something is not right with grandfather because he is doing different things to show that he has changed mentally.

At the end of the story, grandfather wanders off in the cold leaving Slump and grandmother to look for him. The grandmother became more understanding at the end when the grandfather wandered off. However, she did not recognize something was wrong until that happened.

Dementia is so prevalent in our society today. Everyone has someone that they know of with this disease. This book is a perfect book for dealing with those who are suffering from dementia. This story definitely created different one word themes that resonated with me which are: patience, compassion and understanding.

[Mike F · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Finalist for the 2022 Kirkus Prize in Young Readers’ Literature and a 2022 Mildred L. Batchelder Honor Book, this poignant picture book deals with a difficult issue in a way that is both realistic and appropriate for its young audience. I found this title on the 2022 Outstanding International Books List published by The United States Board on Books for Young People while searching for award-winning contemporary realistic fiction. I read the book in hardcover format, and I recommend others do the same. It is the best way to experience the wonderful illustrations that employ soft tones and other elements to truly enhance the touching narrative.

In the story, a young girl nicknamed Stump slowly begins to notice a change in her grandfather as dementia begins to set in. The man who could once recite the Latin names of all 123 varieties of flowers in his sunroom can suddenly no longer remember much simpler things. As Stump and her grandmother come to understand what’s happening, Stump attempts to help her grandfather and maintain the tight bond they share. One of my favorite choices by the illustrator is the way the grandfather’s words are literally lost, falling off of him as Stump collects and stores them in a box, bringing to life the metaphor of loved ones assisting those whose mental faculties are fading. The plot shows the seriousness of the situation but handles it in a way that focuses on familial relationships rather than some of the other grim realities of dimension, making for a reading experience that it a way that lessens the fright factor for young readers.

Because this book deals with a sensitive issue in a realistic yet delicate way, this book might make for a good read-aloud in early elementary school classrooms. Some students might be experiencing something similar within their own families, and, with a teacher's guidance, this book could offer a model for how to face the situation with caring and empathy.

[Renn · Rating 5 out of 5]

CWs: grandparent with dementia, partner in denial

I wish I had this book when my Great Grandma had dementia. I didn’t know how to reach out to her then, and I’m kind of heartbroken about that now.

This book is precious beyond words because it teaches about the onset of dementia and also how to interact with someone who doesn’t have short-term memory.

Grandpa’s wife is very harsh with him at the beginning, blaming him for the mistakes he makes and the things he can’t remember. I got (understandably) very upset with her. But then I reached a point in the book where I realized that she was in denial. It doesn’t make her behavior right, but the fact that she changes for the better shouldn’t be forgotten.

“Stump” the granddaughter is much more understanding when it comes to her grandpa’s condition. She’s very patient with him, and spends her time collecting the words he’s lost. At the end, she and her grandma together come up with a plan to recreate the dance on their wedding night.

The thing with dementia is that it primarily impacts short-term memory, but long-term memory still stands. That means potentially you can interact with someone by stimulating a memory from their past, which in this case was their wedding and a rabbit like the one her grandpa used to have as a boy. It is so important to do what you can to help a person with dementia feel comfortable.

[Jill CD · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautiful book about dementia and how a child handles her grandfather’s forgetfulness.

[Alicia · Rating 4 out of 5]

This Danish children's book showcases how sensitivity goes a long way in sharing stories about the dynamics in many families for children. This is a translation into English. Focusing on a little girl who spends a lot of time with her grandparents, the shift happens in which her grandfather, often lively in taking care of his many plants and reminiscing about a bunny from when he was younger now starts to forget his words (which she collects in a box).

She wants to help her grandfather especially because the grandmother seems unsympathetic at times but the final straw when he leaves in the cold without any additional clothes and is found on a bench helps the family rally to bring him safety and comfort- the grandmother starts taking care of the plants and the granddaughter gives him some memorable experiences to help him remember.

The book is lovingly written and drawn making it feel special and sweet.

[Lisa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Grandpa has more than 100 different flowers in his sunroom and knows the Latin name of all of them. He and the little girl do jigsaw puzzles together and help Grandma with the crossword. Then one day, Grandpa has trouble remembering things, especially his words. Eventually grandpa doesn't want to do anything anymore. The little girl has an idea, one that might make Grandpa very happy.

I have seen several picture books about grandparents with memory loss, this one goes beyond them - into other things associated with dementia. The childhood memories, wandering away, the extreme sadness. It's a sad book, but hopeful. A great way to show a child what to expect of a grandparent just showing signs, or even for a friend to build empathy. The author's note has some helpful information as well.

Cross posted to http://kissthebook.blogspot.com

[Brandon Dyer (Children's Librarian) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Let me first wipe away my tears (I did not get any on the pages) and collect myself. Coffee, Rabbit, Snowdrop, Lost hit home when I was reading this beautifully illustrated picture book. My grandmother suffered from dementia but dead from breast cancer before the pandemic. I could envision myself as Stump, the main character, when it came to trying coffee, because my grandmother would give me a cup of coffee every time her and I had donuts. I thought of those happy moments when reading this picture book.

It was really hard reading the quote, "Who are you" because no one wants to hear those words come out of a loved one you cared for. This book can resonate to a lot of readers that know of a family member who had or has dementia. This book is a great resource to talk about dementia to young readers.

Its a MUST read!

[Lisa · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked the visual representation of words being lost as dementia progresses. I think it is harder to understand what is happening as dementia begins because the person seems so different than usual. I even was mad at the wife's attitude and behavior till I realized as the reader we know what is happening, that it calls for compassion, etc but she doesn't realize (till later) what is happening. It made it more realistic and her actions human.
Interesting end pages talking about ways of connecting with those who have dementia.
*Not clear if the child is a boy or a girl and seems to have the same outfit the entire story even though it talks of season changes and time passing.

[Ellon · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can't tell if I love this book or hate this book for making me sob. It is exactly what the description says "A beautiful, candid picture book for children to understand what happens when a loved one begins suffering from dementia, and how best to care for them." (It's not often that a book perfectly matches the description). There is even some back matter about the best ways to help someone with dementia.
I want to purchase for my school library but I also feel like it may need to have a warning label on it!

[Jared White · Rating 4 out of 5]

A lovely, soft book about a grandfather who begins to develop dementia and a grandchild who begins to collect their "lost words." Together the grandchild and grandmother help each other to reconnect with the grandfather.

At the end of the book, there is a note from the head of the Danish Center for Reminiscence in which some tips are offered that may make those suffering from dementia more comfortable, such as placing sights, smells, and objects from their youth in the area around them.

Translated from Danish.

[Delaney Willoughby · Rating 5 out of 5]

This tear jerking tale is a must read for any children, or reader of any age, caring for a loved one with Dementia and Alzheimer's. In the story, a little girl is very close with her grandparents, specifically her grandpa who calls her stump and tells her all the Latin names of his flower collection. In the end, even though her grandpa can’t remember the words, nor the little girl, she shows him how much she loves him by keeping his words in a box so they won’t be forgotten and bringing him his long lost soft white rabbit.