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274 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 6, 2021
I'm talking about my own life. Which not only can't matter to you, it might bore you.
So: Get your own gig. Make your litany, as I have just made mine. Keep your tally. Mind your dead, and your living, and you can bore me.
Three other Kushner touchstones are the artist Jeff Koons, and the novelists Clarice Lispector and Marguerite Duras, and Kushner successfully pulls off one magic feat after another in making their work speak to this reader, who will admit to feeling like something of a philistine when confronted such further gaps (gaps upon gaps, as well as within them!) in his knowledge.
“Where are my women now, with their sweet wet words and ways, and the miraculous balls of hail popping in a green translucence in the yards?”
The “green translucence in the yards” is high-flown, and yet I do not doubt that it was the salient vision to share. Every sentiment and gesture in Jesus’ Son feels true, and not all writers approach anything true in what they write, but instead have other types of gifts, and skills, for braiding imagery or manipulating cadence, pulling off stunts. Literature, even really good literature, is sometimes more like a beautiful baroque carpet than it is like life. Denis Johnson, in all his work, aimed to locate the hidden, actual face of things. But the new stories build without those miraculous balls of hail, and their truths are deeper, and more precise, true as you would true a wheel. Jesus’ Son, by comparison, seems like work produced by the forceful energy of all the saved-up characters bursting to be seen and known by those who weren’t there, weren’t in the bar or out at the farm on the Old Highway. Weren’t riding around with Georgie, high on stolen hospital meds. The Largesse of the Sea Maiden operates on a different set of registers; it feels like the paced vision of a writer who has been made to understand that life is fairly rude and somewhat short, but the world contains an uneven distribution of grace, and wisdom lies in recognizing where it—such grace—has presented itself. The stories are about death and immortality, art and its reach, and they ask elemental questions about fiction, not as a literary genre but as a human tendency.
Don't believe her. She is never boring, and in minding and honouring her own dead she shows us how it should be done, quite. I look forward to reading Rachel Kushner's novels, but especially to more of her essays. I'm now a fan.
The things I’ve seen and the people I’ve known: maybe it just can’t matter to you. That’s what Jimmy Stewart says to Kim Novak in Vertigo. He wants Novak’s character Judy to wear her hair like the unreachable Madeleine did. He wants Judy to be a Pacific Heights class act and not a downtown department store tramp.
“Judy, please, it can’t matter to you.”
Outrageous. He’s talking about a woman’s own hair. Of course it matters to her.
I’m talking about my own life. Which not only can’t matter to you, it might bore you.
So: Get your own gig. Make your litany, as I have just made mine. Keep your tally. Mind your dead, and your living, and you can bore me.
It is amazing what, from the past, you can drag into your net, only to find that it has never left your net.
—p.158
None of it matters; it is gone. But it all matters; it lingers.
—p.230
If I knew what was good for me I'd be day-trading marijuana stocks right now instead of writing this essay.
—p.242
I was fourteen: in other words not a child.Oh, my. I have to believe that Kushner is, if not quite joking here, not exactly serious either.
—p.242
Sometimes I am boggled by the gallery of souls I have known.
—p.248