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Motherhood: Facing and Finding Yourself
Join a respected Jungian analyst for a deep dive into the emotional and symbolic journey of motherhood.
Motherhood is the true hero’s journey—which is to say that it can be as harrowing as it is joyful, and enlightening as it is exhausting. For Jungian psychoanalyst Lisa Marchiano, this journey is not just an adventure of diaper bags and parent-teacher conferences, but one of intense self-discovery.
In Motherhood, Marchiano draws from a deep well of Jungian analysis and symbolic research to present a collection of fairy tales, myths, and fables that evoke the spiritual arc of raising a child from infancy through adulthood. After all, this kind of storytelling has always been one of the most important conduits of humanity’s collective wisdom—and Marchiano provides each tale alongside keen insights into the timeless archetypes they represent.
Balanced with real-life case stories from Lisa’s own practice and in-depth questions for personal reflection, Motherhood explores how events like pregnancy, the calamities of childhood, and the empty-nest experience are invitations to an adventure into the wild frontier of your own soul. Here you will
• How the challenges of motherhood send you on journeys into your innermost source
• Seeing the value of conflict with your child even while working to solve it
• “The dark passage” of confronting and dispelling the energy of childhood wounds
• “The thirteenth fairy”—how to recognize when we are resisting inconvenient or uncomfortable truths
• Understanding how anger, rage, and aggression arise in parental relationships
• Recognizing the ways that you have been taught to ignore your deepest instincts
• How to navigate the inevitable periods of grief that accompany your child’s many life changes
• Why much of successful mothering requires surrendering your sense of control
With Lisa’s gentle but straightforward guidance, you’ll return from this inner journey in possession of the treasured knowledge needed to clarify your values, embrace your disowned parts, and claim the mantle of motherhood in the full bloom of your empowerment.
Motherhood is the true hero’s journey—which is to say that it can be as harrowing as it is joyful, and enlightening as it is exhausting. For Jungian psychoanalyst Lisa Marchiano, this journey is not just an adventure of diaper bags and parent-teacher conferences, but one of intense self-discovery.
In Motherhood, Marchiano draws from a deep well of Jungian analysis and symbolic research to present a collection of fairy tales, myths, and fables that evoke the spiritual arc of raising a child from infancy through adulthood. After all, this kind of storytelling has always been one of the most important conduits of humanity’s collective wisdom—and Marchiano provides each tale alongside keen insights into the timeless archetypes they represent.
Balanced with real-life case stories from Lisa’s own practice and in-depth questions for personal reflection, Motherhood explores how events like pregnancy, the calamities of childhood, and the empty-nest experience are invitations to an adventure into the wild frontier of your own soul. Here you will
• How the challenges of motherhood send you on journeys into your innermost source
• Seeing the value of conflict with your child even while working to solve it
• “The dark passage” of confronting and dispelling the energy of childhood wounds
• “The thirteenth fairy”—how to recognize when we are resisting inconvenient or uncomfortable truths
• Understanding how anger, rage, and aggression arise in parental relationships
• Recognizing the ways that you have been taught to ignore your deepest instincts
• How to navigate the inevitable periods of grief that accompany your child’s many life changes
• Why much of successful mothering requires surrendering your sense of control
With Lisa’s gentle but straightforward guidance, you’ll return from this inner journey in possession of the treasured knowledge needed to clarify your values, embrace your disowned parts, and claim the mantle of motherhood in the full bloom of your empowerment.
246 pages, Kindle Edition
Published May 25, 2021
335 people are currently reading
1716 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 113 reviews
December 30, 2023
Thought provoking look at motherhood from the perspective of a Jungian psychoanalyst, using the symbolism in fairy tales and myths to embellish the points made. Goes through a range of emotions, including patience and strength, but also those that don't usually get mentioned in relation to motherhood, such as anger and regret.
May 25, 2021
Loving it! A guide for all women.
I am partway through this book. And I felt like I needed to stop and give it a review. I LOVE Lisa Marchiano's podcast This Jungian Life, which she cohosts with two other Jungian analysts (therapists in the tradition of Carl Jung). I bought this book even though I am not a mother. And I am finding that it is a book on motherhood but also much more than that. It's also about being daughters and also about our own connection to our own inner mother. If you're finding motherhood hard, this is a book for you. If you're finding it hard to mother yourself, this is a book for you. This is a book for all women, everywhere. Highly recommend!
I am partway through this book. And I felt like I needed to stop and give it a review. I LOVE Lisa Marchiano's podcast This Jungian Life, which she cohosts with two other Jungian analysts (therapists in the tradition of Carl Jung). I bought this book even though I am not a mother. And I am finding that it is a book on motherhood but also much more than that. It's also about being daughters and also about our own connection to our own inner mother. If you're finding motherhood hard, this is a book for you. If you're finding it hard to mother yourself, this is a book for you. This is a book for all women, everywhere. Highly recommend!
August 11, 2021
A beautiful, thought-provoking and generous book.
A generous book because Lisa shares so much from her personal experiences and her clients, that it is impossible to feel alone on the journey of facing and finding yourself. Motherhood is full of timeless stories and myths which gives you a connection to something much greater than ourselves - which I found beautiful. Thought provoking because Lisa dives deeper and tackles not just the creative, fun and rewarding side of mothering but the dark, angry feelings and uncomfortable truths too.
I read it as a therapist (Couples rather than Jungian) to get a greater understanding of my female clients - especially mothers on the two great thresholds: the arrival of the first baby and the departure of the last child. With each chapter, the format is the same: personal reflection from Lisa, a myth or legend, client experiences, commentary and questions to ask yourself. I have started using the book with clients and it is bringing up a lot of material that would otherwise have remained buried.
However, I would recommend this book not only to mothers but to everyone - even if you are not a parent. Partly because we all had mothers and it helps us understand her better but mainly because Lisa is writing about the human condition.
I have spent the last few days contemplating a Polynesian image that she shares of standing on the back of a whale trying to catch minnows. It is easy to get pre-occupied with daily problems (the minnows) and forget the "transcendent reality that undergirds everything". In a way, it sums up the book too: focused on both the everyday and the eternal.
Lisa Marchiano was also a guest on my podcast: The Meaningful Life with Andrew G Marshall. where she talks about her book
A generous book because Lisa shares so much from her personal experiences and her clients, that it is impossible to feel alone on the journey of facing and finding yourself. Motherhood is full of timeless stories and myths which gives you a connection to something much greater than ourselves - which I found beautiful. Thought provoking because Lisa dives deeper and tackles not just the creative, fun and rewarding side of mothering but the dark, angry feelings and uncomfortable truths too.
I read it as a therapist (Couples rather than Jungian) to get a greater understanding of my female clients - especially mothers on the two great thresholds: the arrival of the first baby and the departure of the last child. With each chapter, the format is the same: personal reflection from Lisa, a myth or legend, client experiences, commentary and questions to ask yourself. I have started using the book with clients and it is bringing up a lot of material that would otherwise have remained buried.
However, I would recommend this book not only to mothers but to everyone - even if you are not a parent. Partly because we all had mothers and it helps us understand her better but mainly because Lisa is writing about the human condition.
I have spent the last few days contemplating a Polynesian image that she shares of standing on the back of a whale trying to catch minnows. It is easy to get pre-occupied with daily problems (the minnows) and forget the "transcendent reality that undergirds everything". In a way, it sums up the book too: focused on both the everyday and the eternal.
Lisa Marchiano was also a guest on my podcast: The Meaningful Life with Andrew G Marshall. where she talks about her book
July 15, 2021
Words do no justice to how incredible this book by Lisa Marchiano is. I'm a first time mother and it was through my personal healing journey that I stumbled upon the support of archetypes and myths to help me make sense of the postpartum fog. Just when I wanted to dive deeper, Lisa's book came out. A gift from the Universe.
I loved the way Lisa gently introduces the reader to archetypes, myths and Jung's work while getting the reader face to face with the darkness and light of motherhood.
This book is an essential to anyone in mist of motherhood and wanting to make sense of this enormous transition.
Lisa takes you through a deep and powerful journey, where at the end it's a like a new becoming- as it was for me.
This book will forever stay with me, thank you from my heart and soul.
I loved the way Lisa gently introduces the reader to archetypes, myths and Jung's work while getting the reader face to face with the darkness and light of motherhood.
This book is an essential to anyone in mist of motherhood and wanting to make sense of this enormous transition.
Lisa takes you through a deep and powerful journey, where at the end it's a like a new becoming- as it was for me.
This book will forever stay with me, thank you from my heart and soul.
March 10, 2024
O carte despre maternitate și înfruntarea acesteia. Autoarea folosește simboluri din basme și personaje mistice pentru a desemna tipologii de mame care se confruntă cu aspectele mai puțin plăcute ale maternității.
Mi-a plăcut mult capitolul despre sentimente negative asupra propriului copil. Este prima carte pe care o întâlnesc să abordeze acest subiect.
Mi-a plăcut mult capitolul despre sentimente negative asupra propriului copil. Este prima carte pe care o întâlnesc să abordeze acest subiect.
November 4, 2022
What a bittersweet read. A beautiful deep dive into fairy tales and the true messages they can teach us in motherhood. I found this such a necessary read, I loved the Jungian perspective, that doesn't seek to offer quick fixes or solutions to the complexity of motherhood and our transformative moments in life, but really just to more deeply understand them and the lessons that may be there if we are willing to get curious. There was more than one occasion where I got stuck crying in a coffee shop because it so effectively captured some feeling that I have struggled to articulate. An absolute bookshelf staple!
Adding my favourite quotes for posterity's sake!
'This, I fear, is how it will be: I will love my children, but my love for them will be imperfect, damaged by my rigid personality and the demands of my work. I will never be able to share the surprise they feel when they find a cicada in the grass, because stopping to marvel at the cicada means I will miss my morning train... The years will pass, Owen and Hugo will grow, and I will continue to dream about the time when I can walk in the front door and feel relaxed. I will long for a time when I will never yell at my kids just because I am late...Because before I know it, my boys will be grown. The house will be spotless, and so will I: nice, calm, both at work and at home. Four little feet jumping on the bed will be a distant memory. And things like cicadas will have lost their magic, and my children will be gone for good'
'Eventually, of course, there is always one last baby, whether it is the first or the fifth. With a heave of primal sorrow, we turn to see that part of our lives receding swiftly into the past. The mourning cannot be deferred any longer. Whether we let ourselves feel it as the infant toys go out to the curb, or whether we steel ourselves against it until the day they leave for college, grief is present from the very beginning and never really leaves us. Time is that to which we must inevitably submit, though most of us spend our lives attempting to avoid awareness of this fact. Parenting, with its frequent wrenching reminders of our children's fleeting youth, makes the inexorability of time's passage much harder to ignore.'
Adding my favourite quotes for posterity's sake!
'This, I fear, is how it will be: I will love my children, but my love for them will be imperfect, damaged by my rigid personality and the demands of my work. I will never be able to share the surprise they feel when they find a cicada in the grass, because stopping to marvel at the cicada means I will miss my morning train... The years will pass, Owen and Hugo will grow, and I will continue to dream about the time when I can walk in the front door and feel relaxed. I will long for a time when I will never yell at my kids just because I am late...Because before I know it, my boys will be grown. The house will be spotless, and so will I: nice, calm, both at work and at home. Four little feet jumping on the bed will be a distant memory. And things like cicadas will have lost their magic, and my children will be gone for good'
'Eventually, of course, there is always one last baby, whether it is the first or the fifth. With a heave of primal sorrow, we turn to see that part of our lives receding swiftly into the past. The mourning cannot be deferred any longer. Whether we let ourselves feel it as the infant toys go out to the curb, or whether we steel ourselves against it until the day they leave for college, grief is present from the very beginning and never really leaves us. Time is that to which we must inevitably submit, though most of us spend our lives attempting to avoid awareness of this fact. Parenting, with its frequent wrenching reminders of our children's fleeting youth, makes the inexorability of time's passage much harder to ignore.'
March 20, 2021
In classic Jungian style, the author explores multiple expressions of the archetype of Mother through fairy tales, myths and fables. This book is not a “how-to” parenting manual espousing theories to inform, inspire and reassure women to be better mothers. Rather, it is a guide through the potential psychological and spiritual transformative experience of giving birth and raising a child to adulthood. Embracing both the joyful as well as the darker aspects of motherhood is a hallmark of wholeness. These aspects are liberally illustrated through vignettes of the author’s own experience as well as those of her clients.
One thing I particularly appreciated is the distinction drawn between the hero’s and the heroine’s journey. The feminine journey is characterized by a descent into the underworld or the unconscious…a journey down, rather than the masculine journey out. (One of my favorite books is Descent to the Goddess; A Way of Initiation for Women.) The author invites the reader to take this downward journey to discover the untapped wellspring of creativity and inner authority within. Each chapter has “Questions for Reflection” to support the process of self-discovery.
This book is well worth reading and would make a great focus for a women’s support group. I found myself underlining many passages to highlight the author’s compassionate wisdom.
My thanks to the author, Sounds True, and NetGalley for the privilege of reviewing a digital ARC in exchange for an independent, honest review.
One thing I particularly appreciated is the distinction drawn between the hero’s and the heroine’s journey. The feminine journey is characterized by a descent into the underworld or the unconscious…a journey down, rather than the masculine journey out. (One of my favorite books is Descent to the Goddess; A Way of Initiation for Women.) The author invites the reader to take this downward journey to discover the untapped wellspring of creativity and inner authority within. Each chapter has “Questions for Reflection” to support the process of self-discovery.
This book is well worth reading and would make a great focus for a women’s support group. I found myself underlining many passages to highlight the author’s compassionate wisdom.
My thanks to the author, Sounds True, and NetGalley for the privilege of reviewing a digital ARC in exchange for an independent, honest review.
July 27, 2022
"For women who may have lived heroically before having children, motherhood can pose special difficulties. If we have defeated the giants and witches of the academic or professional world, we may be very used to feeling capable in the face of challenge. For some women who fit this description, having a baby can indeed mean finally meeting their match."
This book had a profound impact on my postpartum recovery and my journey henceforth in the land of motherhood. I read it around 2mo postpartum, when things were pretty rough. The lessons in the book were my constant companions as I recovered each day, practising a little more self care, finding a little more strength and patience, and learning to accept defeat gracefully, as a parent often needs to. The book explores motherhood through fairy tales and myths which makes it a very interesting read to those of us who might’ve read some of these stories as children.
I highly recommend this book to all mothers, parents, caregivers.
This book had a profound impact on my postpartum recovery and my journey henceforth in the land of motherhood. I read it around 2mo postpartum, when things were pretty rough. The lessons in the book were my constant companions as I recovered each day, practising a little more self care, finding a little more strength and patience, and learning to accept defeat gracefully, as a parent often needs to. The book explores motherhood through fairy tales and myths which makes it a very interesting read to those of us who might’ve read some of these stories as children.
I highly recommend this book to all mothers, parents, caregivers.
April 17, 2024
“Dacă este îmbrățișată conștient, maternitatea te poate ajuta să te întregești în mai mare măsură.” 🤍
📖 Am simțit cartea “Maternitate” ca o discuție blândă cu un terapeut 🛋️ Pe tot parcursul lecturii am fost înțeleasă cu adevărat, propriile mele trăiri de mamă mi-au fost validate și am primit o călduroasă consolare.
✍️ Autoarea, psihanalistă jungiană, nu doar că ne împărtășește cercetările sale și experiența profesională din cabinet, ci și fragmente din propria sa călătorie ca mamă🤱🏼 O călătorie plină de bucurie, împlinire, dar și de anxietate, epuizare, frustrare și neputință.
📜 Interpretările psihanalitice ale vechilor basme, ne ajută să înțelegem mai bine de ce uneori ne simțim captive, pierdute, solitare și temătoare, dar și cum putem renaște îmbrățișând provocările maternității.
O carte extrem de intensă și răscolitoare, ce aduce conștientizări puternice, dar și multă liniște! ✨
Vă recomand să o simțiți și să meditați asupra ei 💭 O să vă ofere perspective nebănuite.
📖 “Cu numeroasele ei înfrângeri, maternitatea poate fi o experiență care ne inițiază în întâlnirea cu limitările, punându-ne în contact cu ceva mai mare decât noi însene.
Când suntem învinse, un aspect al nostru moare. Maternitatea va impune ca fostul nostru sine să fie sacrificat, astfel încât să putem renaște într-o versiune a noastră mai cuprinzătoare.”
📖 Am simțit cartea “Maternitate” ca o discuție blândă cu un terapeut 🛋️ Pe tot parcursul lecturii am fost înțeleasă cu adevărat, propriile mele trăiri de mamă mi-au fost validate și am primit o călduroasă consolare.
✍️ Autoarea, psihanalistă jungiană, nu doar că ne împărtășește cercetările sale și experiența profesională din cabinet, ci și fragmente din propria sa călătorie ca mamă🤱🏼 O călătorie plină de bucurie, împlinire, dar și de anxietate, epuizare, frustrare și neputință.
📜 Interpretările psihanalitice ale vechilor basme, ne ajută să înțelegem mai bine de ce uneori ne simțim captive, pierdute, solitare și temătoare, dar și cum putem renaște îmbrățișând provocările maternității.
O carte extrem de intensă și răscolitoare, ce aduce conștientizări puternice, dar și multă liniște! ✨
Vă recomand să o simțiți și să meditați asupra ei 💭 O să vă ofere perspective nebănuite.
📖 “Cu numeroasele ei înfrângeri, maternitatea poate fi o experiență care ne inițiază în întâlnirea cu limitările, punându-ne în contact cu ceva mai mare decât noi însene.
Când suntem învinse, un aspect al nostru moare. Maternitatea va impune ca fostul nostru sine să fie sacrificat, astfel încât să putem renaște într-o versiune a noastră mai cuprinzătoare.”
February 9, 2025
В попытках найти ответы, как так повернулась моя жизнь, что мне было необходимо пустить всё накопленное ранее под откос и захотелось детей. Я их нашла.
Для меня это потрясающая книга, я бы советовала читать всем мамам. Это первая книга из всех мной увиденных, в которой описывается, что с тобой на самом происходит, с точки зрения психики, сознательного и бессознательного. Чего ожидать, и какой смысл у этого процесса. Не контролируемый нашим сознанием, внутренний зов. Аргументация построена на теории психоанализа, много отсылок на Юнга (у писательницы ещё есть подкаст). Книга рассказывает, как мате��инство опускает нас на дно колодца, размазывает, достает наши тени, а потом возвращает более мудрыми и улучшенными. Путь к той версии себя, которой нам суждено стать от рождения. Вот тут единственный минус, мне показалось категорично и не до конца понятно позиция. Как будто по книге путь к индивидуации возможен только через родительство, отказаться от юношеского максимализма и понять что жизнь конечна и несовершенна, но прекрасна в своей целостности, посвятить себя материнству. Родив детей, я понимаю что дети это слишком радикально и дети не для всех, как насчет того что некоторые женщины не хотят детей? Чем это объясняется? Как когда можно рассмотреть процесс индивидуации?
Много классных мыслей, что дети нам не принадлежат, что в детях проявляется наша тень - материнство помогает вернуть отброшенные части самих себя, страстное желание забеременеть - то что находится вне зоны сознательного контроля, материнство открывает глубокие слои бессознательного , пересмотр ценностей , ориентация на себя, а не на внешнее, что способствует развитию зрелой духовности.
Мысль о том, что это уникальная ежедневная амбивалентность времени - поток неиссякаемого продолжения жизни, прикосновение к чуду и осознание себя как части большего, параллельно с мелкими бытовыми действиями, типа вытирать кашу с пола. Доверять своим инстинктам и интуиции (тут еще больше почитать про коллективное бессознательное и память?)
January 25, 2024
Četla jsem česky pod názvem Cesta matky, najděte zdroje mateřské síly. Je to napsané terapeutkou, čte se výborně. Moudrosti předává přes příběhy, klasické pohádky i zážitky reálných lidí. Může vám pomoct překonat složité momenty.
July 7, 2023
I’m not much for books about motherhood, but this one was recommended to me by my therapist—and I totally see why. The author uses examples from common myths and fables to explore the ways motherhood challenges our psyches and gets us in touch with even the darkest parts of ourselves.
July 24, 2023
Deserves 100 stars. I’m a mom of two under two and a perinatal psychiatric nurse practitioner who works with moms. I’m stealing some nuggets to share with patients. A treasure for me, and for all (dads would benefit, too). Best book I’ve read in ages.
April 12, 2025
6 star book. I so needed this message, this perspective on motherhood. Just a beautiful book! Every woman should read
July 1, 2022
As a therapist who was drawn to more modern approaches, this was the first book I've read from a Jungian perspective, and it was fascinating. I realize now that I have really misunderstood and undervalued the Jungian approach. I was drawn to this book after hearing Lisa Marchiano speak on a podcast and had experienced relief to hear someone articulate some of the things I had experienced since becoming a mother but had never heard other people talk about.
Marchiano uses case studies from her practice and anecdotes from her life mixed with relevant fairytales and Jungian analysis to explain the journey of descent and surfacing that a woman goes through when she becomes a mother. And as the mother of two young children who has been at the bottom of the well and trying to find her way back up while grappling with feelings of rage and disappointment and fearful that I would die angry and bitter, it gave me hope that I could come through this stronger, wiser and better.
I had thought a lot of the problems I encountered were symptoms of our modern society. But Marchiano's use of fairytales helped me to see how this experience is timeless. And given that the book discussed some things I've never heard people acknowledge, such as the terrifying rage that springs within you when you become a mother, it helped me see my experience as less unique or freakish and helped to know that other mothers experience this. That it's not just me, but universal. Each chapter contains a series of questions that I would think and journal about that were rather illuminating and ultimately healing.
I came out of this book feeling calmer and feeling like there is hope for moving beyond the bitterness and towards becoming a more whole, authentic and assertive person, and a newfound appreciation for Jungian analysis. Highly recommend.
Marchiano uses case studies from her practice and anecdotes from her life mixed with relevant fairytales and Jungian analysis to explain the journey of descent and surfacing that a woman goes through when she becomes a mother. And as the mother of two young children who has been at the bottom of the well and trying to find her way back up while grappling with feelings of rage and disappointment and fearful that I would die angry and bitter, it gave me hope that I could come through this stronger, wiser and better.
I had thought a lot of the problems I encountered were symptoms of our modern society. But Marchiano's use of fairytales helped me to see how this experience is timeless. And given that the book discussed some things I've never heard people acknowledge, such as the terrifying rage that springs within you when you become a mother, it helped me see my experience as less unique or freakish and helped to know that other mothers experience this. That it's not just me, but universal. Each chapter contains a series of questions that I would think and journal about that were rather illuminating and ultimately healing.
I came out of this book feeling calmer and feeling like there is hope for moving beyond the bitterness and towards becoming a more whole, authentic and assertive person, and a newfound appreciation for Jungian analysis. Highly recommend.
February 6, 2024
“We each enter the world carrying something unique that asks to be lived out through us. Just as the destiny of a oak tree is contained within the acorn, we arrive in life with something we need to do and someone we need to become.”
“If you seriously want to learn about life having and raising children is probably the single best way. It is also the single and best way to learn about yourself. Motherhood is a doorway into your interior where you will meet the ghosts of old wounds, confront your darkness and encounter your Self.”
Mi s-a părut o carte superba, pe care toate femeile ar trebui sa o citească, mai ales daca sunt si mame. Si pentru cele care nu sunt (încă), e o lectura atat de valoroasa ca sa iti setezi asteptarile potrivite si sa te înarmezi pentru cea mai frumoasa si grea calatorie: a Vietii. ❤️
“If you seriously want to learn about life having and raising children is probably the single best way. It is also the single and best way to learn about yourself. Motherhood is a doorway into your interior where you will meet the ghosts of old wounds, confront your darkness and encounter your Self.”
Mi s-a părut o carte superba, pe care toate femeile ar trebui sa o citească, mai ales daca sunt si mame. Si pentru cele care nu sunt (încă), e o lectura atat de valoroasa ca sa iti setezi asteptarile potrivite si sa te înarmezi pentru cea mai frumoasa si grea calatorie: a Vietii. ❤️
January 10, 2023
This book was amazing and awful. I hated and loved the experience of reading this book and working through the questions. I think every mother should read this book both for what it brings up personally and the way it speaks to the universal experience of motherhood. It’s certainly isn’t a light or easy read and it is at times uncomfortable but the author has so much compassion for the challenges Motherhood can bring. I find Jungian psychology easier to access and understand than some other psychological perspectives and I enjoyed the stories, myths, and fairy tales. I could see myself in the analysis of some of these stories. This is a book that can be revisited and new treasures found each time.
April 21, 2024
A truly beautiful and heartening read. I’ll re-read I think at some point and do the activities in more earnest to reflect on my experience as a daughter and as a mother.
Marchiano doesn’t say this in so many words but a broad theme I take away from this is that parenting isn’t about being on either the offence or defence, but that there’s a third paradigm to embrace that is centred on empathy and nurturing, both our children and ourselves.
Marchiano doesn’t say this in so many words but a broad theme I take away from this is that parenting isn’t about being on either the offence or defence, but that there’s a third paradigm to embrace that is centred on empathy and nurturing, both our children and ourselves.
April 12, 2023
This book required me to suspend some preconceptions at first. It is written by a Jungian analyst and draws on fairy tales and dreams quite frequently. But I eased into it and then read it thirstily. I think it is the most helpful book I have read on motherhood and parenting yet and I am so glad to have found it.
January 12, 2025
This book was wonderful and came to me at the exact right time. I wish I could reach through the pages and give Lisa Marchiano a hug of thanks because this book is such a gift to me in my own motherhood and personal growth journey.
Through a mixture of fairytales and anecdotes from her personal and therapeutic experience, Lisa expounds on the invitation to personal and inner transformation offered to every woman in the crucible of motherhood. Using the overarching theme of the hero(ine)’s journey of descent into the “deep well” of oneself in motherhood, Lisa explores the struggles, sacrifices, and treasures that one encounters in motherhood. I was particularly encouraged that she wrote about the lesser-explored struggles like rage, guilt, and getting in touch with your own motherly intuition.
Not only does she interpret and expound on these interesting fairytales beautifully - they have a lot to teach us when understood symbolically - but she offers practical wisdom and insight into how to face the inevitable trials and embrace the inevitable gifts of motherhood.
Her empathetic and compassionate wisdom is obviously gleaned from her own personal journey and years of learning in the classroom of Motherhood.
In this book, she shares the universal Truth that when you choose to face your fate & embrace your cross, you will be helped, assisted, and transformed into who you were meant to be. In her conclusion, she encourages mothers to embrace 4 essential attitudes to aid in this journey: playfulness, acceptance, curiosity, and empathy.
In motherhood, ultimately, we are invited to come face to face with ourselves. Embrace this powerful encounter with openness, playfulness, and spiritual courage, and you will be deeply rewarded.
This is a beautiful book that I will return to again and again for motherly wisdom from a woman who has walked the path before me. I left this book a better woman and mother for having read it.
Through a mixture of fairytales and anecdotes from her personal and therapeutic experience, Lisa expounds on the invitation to personal and inner transformation offered to every woman in the crucible of motherhood. Using the overarching theme of the hero(ine)’s journey of descent into the “deep well” of oneself in motherhood, Lisa explores the struggles, sacrifices, and treasures that one encounters in motherhood. I was particularly encouraged that she wrote about the lesser-explored struggles like rage, guilt, and getting in touch with your own motherly intuition.
Not only does she interpret and expound on these interesting fairytales beautifully - they have a lot to teach us when understood symbolically - but she offers practical wisdom and insight into how to face the inevitable trials and embrace the inevitable gifts of motherhood.
Her empathetic and compassionate wisdom is obviously gleaned from her own personal journey and years of learning in the classroom of Motherhood.
In this book, she shares the universal Truth that when you choose to face your fate & embrace your cross, you will be helped, assisted, and transformed into who you were meant to be. In her conclusion, she encourages mothers to embrace 4 essential attitudes to aid in this journey: playfulness, acceptance, curiosity, and empathy.
In motherhood, ultimately, we are invited to come face to face with ourselves. Embrace this powerful encounter with openness, playfulness, and spiritual courage, and you will be deeply rewarded.
This is a beautiful book that I will return to again and again for motherly wisdom from a woman who has walked the path before me. I left this book a better woman and mother for having read it.
November 14, 2024
I loved this and wow boy do I wish somebody had given this to me when I was a fresh young mom at 23. In a good sense though, this came to my life right at the time I feel I’ve started my healing journey, right after I’ve started feeling profound acceptance, joy and and deep purpose in the mundane greatness of motherhood. Now I’m 29 and have two small children, and it took some time, I guess for the reasons she pointed out in the beginning, becoming a mother at a time I had no idea who I was. But it was through motherhood that I learned who I was, and more. I was lucky enough to have had beautiful people on my path, who, unbeknownst to them, acted as guides. When my second child, my first daughter, came, I reconnected with my creative self and felt an intense creative spur within me which gave me immense focus. I don’t even know if I’d have had access to her in such a profound way had i not become a mother…
Anyway, now I will for sure recommend this to every mother I know, new or seasoned. I’ve always loved Jung’s teachings and I loved the fairytales in this book as metaphors for the psyche.
And I will no doubt read this again.
Anyway, now I will for sure recommend this to every mother I know, new or seasoned. I’ve always loved Jung’s teachings and I loved the fairytales in this book as metaphors for the psyche.
And I will no doubt read this again.
August 2, 2025
Definitely wasn't what I was expecting out of a "motherhood" book, but I found Marchiano's end of the chapter questions and fairytale interpretation insights interesting. She also heavily relied on Carl Jung and the interpretation of dreams to analyze the women's psyche and possible latent feelings manifest through them which I found intriguing. I felt validated to honor my shadow self, or sides of me that I wouldn't like to see, in order to better accept myself and teach me kids to do the same. Would recommend
November 29, 2024
A fantastic look at the psychology of motherhood through the lens of fairy tales. I do have to deduct a star based on the glowing chapter about JK Rowling that completely disregarded her hateful views and damaging public campaign against trans women. Otherwise, one of the most insightful books about the inner demons we mothers must confront into order to grow into the most loving versions of ourselves and break chains of generational trauma.
July 9, 2021
I cannot recommend this book highly enough! It’s one book that everyone embarking on the path of motherhood should read. This is not like the usual parenting books.The books takes you through the journey of motherhood, not glorifying it but taking through the everyday grime of parenting, all the feelings that you feel as a parent, and how accepting and transcending those challenges can help you become the person you were meant to be. You have to sit with the book, journal the questions she raises. She also does a wonderful job of incorporating fairytales and stories from mythology to explain her points. This book provided me with validation, acceptance, wisdom. It’s going to be a companion for my life and I will seek a lot of comfort in knowing I am not alone in this journey. Absolute must read for parents raising kids in the current world!
April 3, 2025
I started this book a while ago? Can’t remember when and then gave up on it, but found it as an an audiobook on Spotify and finished it, I really enjoyed the narration of the folklore and fairy tales and actually found a lot of it a lot more relatable and insightful. It made me think about a lot. A very different take on motherhood and the journey it creates
December 19, 2023
Amazing! A book every mother should read
May 26, 2025
This is not a parenting book. This is a book about being a mother. It describes the role and journey of a mother to the fullest and truest extent I’ve ever read. It is beautiful.
June 26, 2021
A gentle but thorough perspective on the many facets of motherhood. Loved how the writer's own stories are interwoven with fairytales and other folklore to enrichen the education. I learnt so much about myself as a mother and my mother as a mother by reading this, and feel a lot more at peace as a result. Highly recommended.
August 12, 2024
Negative star just because she pissed me off—read the first few chapters and her interpretations and synthesis seemed limited at best and bioessentialialist, focusing only on biological mothers in an arbitrary way, in that she’s talking about internal work and responsibilities that all parents are tasked with
THEN I saw she’s co-authored the book “when children say they’re trans” (a text that seems to encourage parents to ignore the experience of teachers, doctors, and therapists who might tell them to support their child, because these parents always know their child best). The other authors on that book are the people who brought us Irreversible Damage: the transgender craze seducing our daughters
Anyway, terfy and weird—Jung would be disappointed and I’m angry this woman apparently maintains a license to practice therapy
THEN I saw she’s co-authored the book “when children say they’re trans” (a text that seems to encourage parents to ignore the experience of teachers, doctors, and therapists who might tell them to support their child, because these parents always know their child best). The other authors on that book are the people who brought us Irreversible Damage: the transgender craze seducing our daughters
Anyway, terfy and weird—Jung would be disappointed and I’m angry this woman apparently maintains a license to practice therapy
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