What do you think?
Rate this book
Mama Bear Apologetics Guide to Sexuality: Empowering Your Kids to Understand and Live Out God’s Design
Raise Them to Value God’s Design Starting at a young age, kids are being fed damaging misinformation about sexuality, gender identity, and human biology. As a parent, it’s up to you to help your children understand God’s truth about these integral concepts in the face of the candy-coated lies that saturate today’s world. In the footsteps of the bestselling Mama Bear Apologetics comes this invaluable guide to training your kids to know and respect God’s design in a world that has rejected it. This book will equip you to… understand God’s design for gender, sex, marriage, and family as a beautiful portrait that reveals the nature of God Himselfidentify the tactics being used to trick children into adopting an unbiblical view of sexuality under the guise of Christian-sounding words like love, identity, tolerance, and justiceteach your kids to treat those who hold different beliefs with gentle, Christlike compassion without compromising biblical values As society continues to blur the lines of what is good, true, and acceptable, God’s standards remain clear and unchanging. This book will give you the wisdom to confidently raise your children to understand sex and gender through a biblical lens.
272 pages, Paperback
First published October 1, 2021
427 people are currently reading
3840 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 223 reviews
July 25, 2022
TO ALL WOMEN: READ THE BOOK....BUT SKIP THE LAST CHAPTER (Cross to Bear). WOMEN WERE DESIGNED FOR SEX, TOO.
I loved the first Mama Bear Apologetics book. I think it did a good job breaking down ideas and thoughts through a biblical lens. It also broke down concepts for kids into manageable and understandable lessons that Mama Bears could use to teach morality and good decision making.
As soon as I finished listening to the first Mama Bear Apologetics book, I rushed to this one. I was most curious for this one because I had hear Morgan Ferrer interview on the Restored2More podcast, and I loved her take on biblical sexuality. I thought it was well reasoned, balanced between truth and grace, and had strong biblical reasoning.
Most of the book was exactly that. I am so glad that Morgan Ferrer and Davis focused on the idea that any sexual immorality is an affront to God -- not just the LGBTQ sexuality. I also appreciate that they accepted that we all struggle, and that same sex struggle is just that -- a temptation that does not need to be acted on. Just like premarital sex. I am glad they held to the standard that living together and being sexually active before marriage is just as much a sin, just in a different shell, and neither brings honor to God.
I struggled, but appreciated, with the grace aspect of how to come back once someone has made a decision to pursue sex outside of marriage. And I mean, personally working through this as I've seen marriages struggling because one spouse chose to not follow God's design - seeing the struggle with the grace. I appreciate that Morgan Ferrer and Davis came to this with the idea that redemption is possible (with hard work and repentance!).
I also appreciate how the did not put on kid gloves in their chapter on pornography. I don't think parents of older kids realize how destructive pornography is in relationships, and my generation of porn addicts is reaping the rotten fruit of not having guidance or help, or help way too late, and is suffering the consequences. Parents with young children cannot afford to pretend that porn does not exist or that they can shelter their children their whole life. That doesn't work in 2022.
I really appreciate most of the thoughts....but why did I give it 3 stars then?
It was literally for the last chapter, the second cross to bear. While all of the information in the book was phenomenal, the statement in that second cross to bear was extremely damaging and, for me, undid a lot of the messaging that was in book previously. It is literally why I am hesitant now to recommend the book.
The second cross to bear acknowledged that it is hard for men in current society to remain chaste. I was cringing internally at the first cross to bear, when Morgan Ferrer suggested that perhaps we parents have forgotten what it was like to have to wait for sex until marriage with the insinuation that most of us got married young (yeah-- nope. I wrestled and had to put my urges on the back burner until I was almost 30 years old because that was when my spouse entered my life). Oh yeah --I'm a woman, by the way. Who struggled with urges to have sex when single....
So why is there a cross to bear only for the men? The most incorrect and unresearched information came in this cross to bear. That women cannot understand what it is like for men to have to wait to have sex because women have lower sex drives is "normal". And "God bless the men" who find a woman who has a higher drive.
I wanted to cry. Because I am one of those women. And I am finding a community of those women. And we are often married to men who don't have extremely high sex drives...so we are struggling with sex in marriage. The current accepted statistic is 20% of marriages (read 1 in 5 women) have a wife in the marriage that has a higher drive. I think that statistic is going to rise because of 1. the prevalence of pornography and men choosing to wire their brains for fantasy instead of real relationship making future married sex a lot less appealing 2. the reality that Purity Culture has damaged men just as much as women to have shame regarding sex 3. the correction of the Purity Culture that is healing women from the shame of sex and they are finding that they are sexual beings with urges just as much as men. But still -- 1 in 5 at the moment. It may be less common, but it is certainly NORMAL.
I've also found that as women get older, sex drives tend to flip. Men get less interested as they get older. So you potentially have Mama Bears reading that have higher sex drives than their husbands. You've just now called them abnormal. Really?
This message, because it is untrue and misrepresentative, is harmful for two reasons:
1. The message can make a woman who is the Higher Drive Wife (HDW) in her marriage feel weird and out of place, sending her spiraling even more into shame as all she has gotten in her life is messaging that she'll need to put out. Meanwhile she longs for her husband to pursue her, as he has not had the put out messaging in his own life and might even struggle with shame that he does not want her often, and she's being told by an author in a book that men would be lucky to have her. How absolutely damaging to her self esteem and her sexuality.
2. If a woman is not a HDW, she can continue with the harmful messaging that sex in marriage is by and large wanted only by the husband. That women cannot understand the draw of sex in the same way. She has daughters. One of those daughters is a woman with a higher drive. The shame cycle continues.
I really did appreciate the rest of the information in the book. But I am so sad that such incorrect messaging made its way into the end. I am trying to figure out a way to recommend this to others but suggest they skip the last chapter. It really did ruin the entire message for me and I think it will end up being more damaging than helpful. I am hoping Morgan Ferrer and Davis will get pushback and amend the messaging before more misinformation can be spread.
So yes....read the book! But skip the last chapter.
I loved the first Mama Bear Apologetics book. I think it did a good job breaking down ideas and thoughts through a biblical lens. It also broke down concepts for kids into manageable and understandable lessons that Mama Bears could use to teach morality and good decision making.
As soon as I finished listening to the first Mama Bear Apologetics book, I rushed to this one. I was most curious for this one because I had hear Morgan Ferrer interview on the Restored2More podcast, and I loved her take on biblical sexuality. I thought it was well reasoned, balanced between truth and grace, and had strong biblical reasoning.
Most of the book was exactly that. I am so glad that Morgan Ferrer and Davis focused on the idea that any sexual immorality is an affront to God -- not just the LGBTQ sexuality. I also appreciate that they accepted that we all struggle, and that same sex struggle is just that -- a temptation that does not need to be acted on. Just like premarital sex. I am glad they held to the standard that living together and being sexually active before marriage is just as much a sin, just in a different shell, and neither brings honor to God.
I struggled, but appreciated, with the grace aspect of how to come back once someone has made a decision to pursue sex outside of marriage. And I mean, personally working through this as I've seen marriages struggling because one spouse chose to not follow God's design - seeing the struggle with the grace. I appreciate that Morgan Ferrer and Davis came to this with the idea that redemption is possible (with hard work and repentance!).
I also appreciate how the did not put on kid gloves in their chapter on pornography. I don't think parents of older kids realize how destructive pornography is in relationships, and my generation of porn addicts is reaping the rotten fruit of not having guidance or help, or help way too late, and is suffering the consequences. Parents with young children cannot afford to pretend that porn does not exist or that they can shelter their children their whole life. That doesn't work in 2022.
I really appreciate most of the thoughts....but why did I give it 3 stars then?
It was literally for the last chapter, the second cross to bear. While all of the information in the book was phenomenal, the statement in that second cross to bear was extremely damaging and, for me, undid a lot of the messaging that was in book previously. It is literally why I am hesitant now to recommend the book.
The second cross to bear acknowledged that it is hard for men in current society to remain chaste. I was cringing internally at the first cross to bear, when Morgan Ferrer suggested that perhaps we parents have forgotten what it was like to have to wait for sex until marriage with the insinuation that most of us got married young (yeah-- nope. I wrestled and had to put my urges on the back burner until I was almost 30 years old because that was when my spouse entered my life). Oh yeah --I'm a woman, by the way. Who struggled with urges to have sex when single....
So why is there a cross to bear only for the men? The most incorrect and unresearched information came in this cross to bear. That women cannot understand what it is like for men to have to wait to have sex because women have lower sex drives is "normal". And "God bless the men" who find a woman who has a higher drive.
I wanted to cry. Because I am one of those women. And I am finding a community of those women. And we are often married to men who don't have extremely high sex drives...so we are struggling with sex in marriage. The current accepted statistic is 20% of marriages (read 1 in 5 women) have a wife in the marriage that has a higher drive. I think that statistic is going to rise because of 1. the prevalence of pornography and men choosing to wire their brains for fantasy instead of real relationship making future married sex a lot less appealing 2. the reality that Purity Culture has damaged men just as much as women to have shame regarding sex 3. the correction of the Purity Culture that is healing women from the shame of sex and they are finding that they are sexual beings with urges just as much as men. But still -- 1 in 5 at the moment. It may be less common, but it is certainly NORMAL.
I've also found that as women get older, sex drives tend to flip. Men get less interested as they get older. So you potentially have Mama Bears reading that have higher sex drives than their husbands. You've just now called them abnormal. Really?
This message, because it is untrue and misrepresentative, is harmful for two reasons:
1. The message can make a woman who is the Higher Drive Wife (HDW) in her marriage feel weird and out of place, sending her spiraling even more into shame as all she has gotten in her life is messaging that she'll need to put out. Meanwhile she longs for her husband to pursue her, as he has not had the put out messaging in his own life and might even struggle with shame that he does not want her often, and she's being told by an author in a book that men would be lucky to have her. How absolutely damaging to her self esteem and her sexuality.
2. If a woman is not a HDW, she can continue with the harmful messaging that sex in marriage is by and large wanted only by the husband. That women cannot understand the draw of sex in the same way. She has daughters. One of those daughters is a woman with a higher drive. The shame cycle continues.
I really did appreciate the rest of the information in the book. But I am so sad that such incorrect messaging made its way into the end. I am trying to figure out a way to recommend this to others but suggest they skip the last chapter. It really did ruin the entire message for me and I think it will end up being more damaging than helpful. I am hoping Morgan Ferrer and Davis will get pushback and amend the messaging before more misinformation can be spread.
So yes....read the book! But skip the last chapter.
April 15, 2022
Once again this these ladies have poured their hearts and God given talent to write this book for such a time as this. Topics discussed but not limited to were: new sexual education standards, language and morality of the sexual agenda, new definitions of identity, expression, sex, and attraction, and the purity culture (which lightbulb moment) has caused so much harm.
Many other eloquent reviews have been written which suffice to say this book seemed to me a present day warning of what is already happening to our kids and schools, media, and culture! It’s astounding how words and terminology are now being redefined and changed. The things our kids are facing now are things not even my Grandmother could imagine.
Both authors give a bold proclamation of what is happening sexually in our culture, how the church must take a stand and correct how we have been acting, and how we Mama Bears can make a difference.
“HOW can we as the church help you carry this cross?” is the motiff that stood out to me. Church, we must do better in standing our ground IN love and loving the “unloved” or those who are “different” than us. If not we will be losing our own soon!
Many other eloquent reviews have been written which suffice to say this book seemed to me a present day warning of what is already happening to our kids and schools, media, and culture! It’s astounding how words and terminology are now being redefined and changed. The things our kids are facing now are things not even my Grandmother could imagine.
Both authors give a bold proclamation of what is happening sexually in our culture, how the church must take a stand and correct how we have been acting, and how we Mama Bears can make a difference.
“HOW can we as the church help you carry this cross?” is the motiff that stood out to me. Church, we must do better in standing our ground IN love and loving the “unloved” or those who are “different” than us. If not we will be losing our own soon!
October 13, 2021
If you are a parent whose views align with Christianity and not with the current hot topics of the world in the realm of sexuality and gender, then I would say this book is a must-have on your shelf. Keep your highlighter and prayer journal handy because you will absolutely want to keep track of all the poignant thoughts and scriptures contained within. Hillary is thoughtful and conscientious in her research and presentation of thoughts. I have personally been able to hear Hillary's process and heart in creating this powerful guide for Christian parents. Christianity is counter-cultural and it follows that the Christian thoughts on sex, sexuality and gender are also. If you want to help guide your kids through meaningful discussions from a Christian worldview, learn some points of discernment, build your faith and learn more on how to lovingly disagree while still honoring all of those created in God's image, then I highly suggest you advance this straight to the top of your TBR pile.
September 2, 2023
This was a very thorough book on sexual apologetics. I listened to the audiobook (read by the author, which always helps with tone and inflection) but I also had a physical copy in my hands loaned to me by a friend.
There is a lot that is addressed in “Mama Bear Apologetics: Guide to Sexuality” — The biblical mandate for sex, the real definition of holiness, the science of our bodies, the agenda in school systems, identity politics, pornography, redemption — you name it.
I thought they did a phenomenal job explaining gender roles, Biblical authority, and godly submission. This is an uncomfortable area for some, myself included, but I appreciated their appropriate application of Scripture here. For example: Christ has all authority over His church, however, He demonstrated His love not by demanding, punishing, or threatening (i.e. misrepresenting authority), but by humbly serving. Servanthood usually gets left out of these conversations so it was good to see that it was not left out here. I especially appreciated how they explained the authority that children have over their bodies as well. This is rarely discussed and we have reaped a lot of sorrow because of it.
I found the chapter on Marxism being the force behind CRT, queer theory, feminism, etc. very enlightening and such a needed topic to discuss. My kids and I have talked at length these last few years after school about these concepts and how they influence our beliefs about God and sex, so this chapter was helpful for further conversation. While social justice and intersectionality sound like political issues, all political issues have their root in a worldview - and there are only two core worldviews: a Godly worldview and a secular worldview.
And as I hoped, purity culture was addressed and addressed well. I have so much hope for the future in this area as I parent my kids.
Also, the chapter on same-sex attraction was a great chapter. I feel like my children are talking about this more and more these days due to friends and peers at school, so a gracious, biblical breakdown of the genuine struggle this group has was so helpful.
Some of the lingo wasn’t my thing (for example: “Roar Mama bears!” and “Release the bear!”), but as I closed the book I decided the content far outweighed my preferences. All in all, a wonderful resource as you both protect your kids and communicate sex in a healthy and godly way.
There is a lot that is addressed in “Mama Bear Apologetics: Guide to Sexuality” — The biblical mandate for sex, the real definition of holiness, the science of our bodies, the agenda in school systems, identity politics, pornography, redemption — you name it.
I thought they did a phenomenal job explaining gender roles, Biblical authority, and godly submission. This is an uncomfortable area for some, myself included, but I appreciated their appropriate application of Scripture here. For example: Christ has all authority over His church, however, He demonstrated His love not by demanding, punishing, or threatening (i.e. misrepresenting authority), but by humbly serving. Servanthood usually gets left out of these conversations so it was good to see that it was not left out here. I especially appreciated how they explained the authority that children have over their bodies as well. This is rarely discussed and we have reaped a lot of sorrow because of it.
I found the chapter on Marxism being the force behind CRT, queer theory, feminism, etc. very enlightening and such a needed topic to discuss. My kids and I have talked at length these last few years after school about these concepts and how they influence our beliefs about God and sex, so this chapter was helpful for further conversation. While social justice and intersectionality sound like political issues, all political issues have their root in a worldview - and there are only two core worldviews: a Godly worldview and a secular worldview.
And as I hoped, purity culture was addressed and addressed well. I have so much hope for the future in this area as I parent my kids.
Also, the chapter on same-sex attraction was a great chapter. I feel like my children are talking about this more and more these days due to friends and peers at school, so a gracious, biblical breakdown of the genuine struggle this group has was so helpful.
Some of the lingo wasn’t my thing (for example: “Roar Mama bears!” and “Release the bear!”), but as I closed the book I decided the content far outweighed my preferences. All in all, a wonderful resource as you both protect your kids and communicate sex in a healthy and godly way.
August 1, 2023
Oof-da. Not a fan. Let me say that as a whole I agree with many of the things she presents as truth, as well as some of her conclusions. But her way of getting there…it’s just not okay. Half of what she writes as “Biblical” is really just conservative politics and ideology (not saying that those are necessarily all wrong, but don’t present them as Bible truth).
This is a book that is very us vs. them. It’s a let’s argue, debate, and wage apologetics war with the people we disagree with. It allows for little grace and personal growth. It is extremely emotionally charged in a “let’s hype these moms up, call them Mama Bears, and have them carry this message forcefully into the world - we can save it if we do this!” Uh-huh. Okay. I’ll sit back and watch and see how many people who you disagree with are actually interested in having a conversation with you. It’ll be pretty much zero. On the other hand, your echo chamber will continue to hype those emotions up so you get louder and louder all crying out the same thing until you hear no other voices except your own and you will have no witness and influence over anyone except the people who you already agree with.
Her best chapter was strangely enough on Purity Culture. Debunking the lies of purity culture and just the things she wrote about there she was pretty much spot on. I had to chuckle because after the rest of the book I didn’t actually see that one coming. But credit where credit is due!
Here are some critiques I wrote down as I read. Toward the last 1/3 of the book I just wanted to finish the book and stopped taking notes. 🙃
Chapter 1 subtitle: “Who are really the ones obsessed with Sex - Christians or Secularists?” (P. 32) This literally reeks of us vs. them. What if it’s both parties? Or neither? Or not consistent across the board?
In chapter 2 there are many examples of making choices in sexuality that lead to total rejection of God. While YES, there are times this does happen, it’s also a misrepresentation. Sometimes people make those choices in sexuality and still believe in God; sometimes mistakes are made and there is repentance. This argument is fear-based and uses emotionally charged arguments, not facts, to create a desire to create a specific narrative of sexual expression. (FYI, I agree with them on a healthy, Biblical sexual expression…I don’t agree with fear-mongering, emotionally charged with no factual arguments.) Essentially the argument is that your view on sexuality is the end all be all for your ENTIRE worldview - that is the entire argument of chapter 2 - and it is simply not true.
The first half Chapter 3 is essentially a chapter on submission - where the father or husband are the head of the family, and the wife must submit to the male head at all times to be in line with God. While it is clear that she doesn’t believe husbands should be abusive, and it sounds like she does have a fantastic husband and father, the chapter is clear about the traditional umbrella form of submission, headship, and family authoritative government. I understand that many conservative Christians subscribe to this, but I do not, and as such this whole argument falls apart for me. Furthermore, the second half of chapter 3, which supposedly is built on the first half DOES have some good points on what sex is the expression of - but it literally has nothing to do with the husband or father needing to be the head….so honestly I’m not sure why the first half of the chapter was even needed.
Chapter Four is called Demolishing Arguments, Not People. Essentially the idea is to love the person, but to tear their arguments apart. No one establishes connection and relationship when their opinions are demolished - that’s a great conversation killer. The best way to change people is to love them where they are at, be understanding while also firm in your own ideals, and shut up unless they are ready and wanting to listen.
Chapter 5 goes into how Marxism is the source of feminism, social justice, queer theory, intersectionality, and CRT while demonizing the public school system and the idea that all sexual indoctrination is based on linguistic theft. Basically it’s conservative political ideology and not Scripture. There are some elements of truth, but it’s mostly fear-mongering and us vs. them content.
The last chapter of the sexual cross…. The concept that male sex drive makes male celibacy harder…um…hello. You just actually debunked very similar arguments the purity culture used a few chapters back? And now you are using the same argument in a different way to prove a different, but similar point? I didn’t agree with a all of the points in this chapter…but that one was SUPER cringe.
Overall, some good points, horrible presentation and ideas for how to talk about them, and I do not recommend. The end. On to better books…I hope.
This is a book that is very us vs. them. It’s a let’s argue, debate, and wage apologetics war with the people we disagree with. It allows for little grace and personal growth. It is extremely emotionally charged in a “let’s hype these moms up, call them Mama Bears, and have them carry this message forcefully into the world - we can save it if we do this!” Uh-huh. Okay. I’ll sit back and watch and see how many people who you disagree with are actually interested in having a conversation with you. It’ll be pretty much zero. On the other hand, your echo chamber will continue to hype those emotions up so you get louder and louder all crying out the same thing until you hear no other voices except your own and you will have no witness and influence over anyone except the people who you already agree with.
Her best chapter was strangely enough on Purity Culture. Debunking the lies of purity culture and just the things she wrote about there she was pretty much spot on. I had to chuckle because after the rest of the book I didn’t actually see that one coming. But credit where credit is due!
Here are some critiques I wrote down as I read. Toward the last 1/3 of the book I just wanted to finish the book and stopped taking notes. 🙃
Chapter 1 subtitle: “Who are really the ones obsessed with Sex - Christians or Secularists?” (P. 32) This literally reeks of us vs. them. What if it’s both parties? Or neither? Or not consistent across the board?
In chapter 2 there are many examples of making choices in sexuality that lead to total rejection of God. While YES, there are times this does happen, it’s also a misrepresentation. Sometimes people make those choices in sexuality and still believe in God; sometimes mistakes are made and there is repentance. This argument is fear-based and uses emotionally charged arguments, not facts, to create a desire to create a specific narrative of sexual expression. (FYI, I agree with them on a healthy, Biblical sexual expression…I don’t agree with fear-mongering, emotionally charged with no factual arguments.) Essentially the argument is that your view on sexuality is the end all be all for your ENTIRE worldview - that is the entire argument of chapter 2 - and it is simply not true.
The first half Chapter 3 is essentially a chapter on submission - where the father or husband are the head of the family, and the wife must submit to the male head at all times to be in line with God. While it is clear that she doesn’t believe husbands should be abusive, and it sounds like she does have a fantastic husband and father, the chapter is clear about the traditional umbrella form of submission, headship, and family authoritative government. I understand that many conservative Christians subscribe to this, but I do not, and as such this whole argument falls apart for me. Furthermore, the second half of chapter 3, which supposedly is built on the first half DOES have some good points on what sex is the expression of - but it literally has nothing to do with the husband or father needing to be the head….so honestly I’m not sure why the first half of the chapter was even needed.
Chapter Four is called Demolishing Arguments, Not People. Essentially the idea is to love the person, but to tear their arguments apart. No one establishes connection and relationship when their opinions are demolished - that’s a great conversation killer. The best way to change people is to love them where they are at, be understanding while also firm in your own ideals, and shut up unless they are ready and wanting to listen.
Chapter 5 goes into how Marxism is the source of feminism, social justice, queer theory, intersectionality, and CRT while demonizing the public school system and the idea that all sexual indoctrination is based on linguistic theft. Basically it’s conservative political ideology and not Scripture. There are some elements of truth, but it’s mostly fear-mongering and us vs. them content.
The last chapter of the sexual cross…. The concept that male sex drive makes male celibacy harder…um…hello. You just actually debunked very similar arguments the purity culture used a few chapters back? And now you are using the same argument in a different way to prove a different, but similar point? I didn’t agree with a all of the points in this chapter…but that one was SUPER cringe.
Overall, some good points, horrible presentation and ideas for how to talk about them, and I do not recommend. The end. On to better books…I hope.
March 15, 2023
Such a GOOD book. Seriously.
In todays age when sex and gender is whatever you want it to be- this book give practical tools and conversation starters on how to address these issues with your children.
The audio is ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️. Narrated by Hillary herself- she has a great voice that makes this book engaging and easy to understand/ follow along.
Christian mommas, this is a must read. Especially if your child is in public school!
In todays age when sex and gender is whatever you want it to be- this book give practical tools and conversation starters on how to address these issues with your children.
The audio is ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️. Narrated by Hillary herself- she has a great voice that makes this book engaging and easy to understand/ follow along.
Christian mommas, this is a must read. Especially if your child is in public school!
May 3, 2024
I listened to this read by the author. She dives into our current culture and has a lot of information that we may or may not already know about.
I think most of this information is important whether you have children or not. But, as a mother, this was very informative and I’ll be referencing this in the future, I’m sure.
No judgement, no shaming, but always pointing towards God and his design for us and our sexuality.
I think most of this information is important whether you have children or not. But, as a mother, this was very informative and I’ll be referencing this in the future, I’m sure.
No judgement, no shaming, but always pointing towards God and his design for us and our sexuality.
December 14, 2022
“Our kids are being desensitized, song by song, cartoon by cartoon, numbed to the point where immorality feels like no big deal. We want them to be able to dispense with the false ideas about sexuality that our culture sends their way.”
I recently read ‘Mama Bear Apologetics’ which is a book focused on exposing cultural lies and helping our children become critical thinkers to form and hold onto biblical beliefs. I loved the book and have recommended it so much since then.
When I saw they were putting out a book talking about topics of sexuality specifically, I knew I had to read it.
Both of these books are so essential for parents who want to train up their kids in truth in a world that makes it hard to.
They are books you will want to own and I would almost guarantee that you will reference them more than once in the course of your children’s lives.
I took so many notes on this book! Everything was solid and helpful. I wish I could share it all with you, but I’ll just share bits and pieces and trust that you will go out and buy this for yourselves!
She does a great job of covering a lot of tough topics that are front and center in the world today with both truth and compassion. Mama Bear Apologetics is good about acknowledging the good and filtering out the bad. They are not afraid to point out where the church has gotten things wrong. They are bold to ruffle feathers on any side of an issue if it means speaking truth.
One of the main things she includes in each chapter is how we should love other people. We ‘demolish arguments, not people.’ She calls us to “distinguish the person from the ideology.”
“We don’t have to compromise conviction to show compassion.”
When we talk about things that have become politicized, it’s easy to look past a person’s humanity. But we can’t. A person is an eternal soul, not just a walking version of their ideologies.
Hillary points out that in the past parents have looked to schools or youth pastors to teach their kids about sex. It has often been a subject of taboo in families. She encourages us to stop letting our fears silence us.
“Our kids want us to talk to them about sex.”
If we don’t, they will find their answers elsewhere, and that is probably not a good thing.
Within the umbrella of ‘sexuality’ she covers things like: premarital sex, pornography, same-sex attraction, transgenderism, sex positivity, purity culture, the Genderbread Person curriculum taught in schools, and ultimately what God’s design is for sex and sexuality.
There are a ton of practical examples of how to communicate abut these things with your kids, questions to ask, and things to pray. Plus there are a lot of resources they offer in the back of the book and on their website to aid parents in talking about all these things.
The first part of the book is important because she first explains God’s good design.
“When we tamper with God’s plan for sex, we miscommunicate the truths that God had intended to be seen through the marital union.”
The boundaries he places on sex are good.
“The more important and powerful something is, the more it is usually safeguarded. Why wouldn’t we expect the same to be true about sex?”
She spends time explaining a Christian worldview and how that interacts with our beliefs about sex and sexuality. About how what we do with our bodies matter.
“Our desires don’t change the truth; they just reveal our fallenness. There are people who have sexual proclivities they did not ask for. But even if those desires come naturally through no immediate fault of one’s own, it does not make the desires moral, or in accordance with God’s design or intended purposes.”
And lest we be overwhelmed by it all she reminds us that “We are not responsible for the entire direction of the culture. We are only responsible for what happens in our families.”
Reading this book means that you are taking action to be informed and to be faithful to steward your children in biblical truth and trusting God with it all, knowing he is sovereign and loves our kids more than we do!
I was really surprised by a lot of the statistics she shared, especially within Christian demographics, and the verbatim information from things being taught in schools. The stats on pornography were especially staggering.
For example: “90% of teens, 96% of young adults are neutral, accepting, or encouraging of porn consumptions.”
I am shocked by this. If all you read of this book is the chapter on porn, it would be worth it to understand the implications and effects of porn on people and their relationships. Porn is not harmless or empowering and it’s affecting our kids at an alarmingly young age.
I liked that she emphasized that feelings, though not to be ignored, do not determine reality.
I also liked how she showed that cultural sexual ethics actually uphold gender stereotypes. We need to let our children know that in terms of interests and hobbies and talents, there is a spectrum on what it looks like to be a boy or to be a girl. Gender stereotypes need to be done away with— not the genders themselves.
Even as she shared what is moral and what is God’s design, she does not forget to talk about grace, love, and healing.
Part of the purity culture chapter reveals some of the ways the church communicated to youth in the past (though probably not intentionally) that once they’ve lost their virginity, they are less than, that no one would want them, they are damaged goods.
This is not true. No amount of sexual brokenness can keep you from the love or healing power of God. Wherever you are at while reading this book, it’s never too late to come to Christ for renewal. You’re never too far gone.
That’s the beauty of the cross. We may feel like we’re losing out at first because we are dying to ourselves and dying to our desires that often give us pleasure. God gives us boundaries and we can no longer ‘do whatever we want.’ But we are coming into true freedom. We are gaining an identity that is not shifted by the winds of culture or our feelings. We gain stability, security, unconditional love, belonging, and the purity of Christ transferred to us. We gain life. We gain everything.
Things to Repeat to Your Kids Until They Want to Gag
I wanted to include her list (titled above) of these things because it’s true that we remember maxims pretty well since they are repeated so often. It makes it a great place to start when you don’t know what exactly to say to your children.
You’ll have to read the book to have these fleshed out more.
But it would be great to infuse these truths in our kids from a young age:
1. What you do with your body matters.
2. God gave you your body to take of it.
3. Sex is the bodily renewal of marital vows.
4. Authority means leading by serving.
5. God created everything with a purpose, but there are few limits to what sin can break.
6. You can say the right thing in the wrong way.
7. Just because you feel it doesn’t make it true.
8. Not all change is progress.
9. What do you mean by that? How did you come to that conclusion? What actually happened?
10. It’s okay to be normal and it’s okay to be different.
11. It’s okay to be on the wrong side of history if you’re on the right side of eternity.
12. Just because it feels good doesn’t make it good for you.
13. You can’t keep a bird from flying over your head, but you can keep it from making a nest in your hair
14. Feelings are terrible leaders but great followers.
15. Neurons that fire together wire together, or You train your brain what you crave.
16. We are only responsible for what we have even given.
17. Everyone is suffering, just in different ways.
I’m reminded more and more how sex-obsessed the world is. It has been made an ultimate thing that dictates people’s entire lives and identities. It hurts so many people and causes so much pain and brokenness. Sexual immorality is at the heart of a lot of the problems in this world.
Christians are criticized for a biblical stance on sex, gender, orientation, pornography, and the like, but we can’t allow that to sway us from truth.
This book is bolstering to me as a mom of both boys and girls to know that I don’t stand alone and I don’t stand foolishly. This is the truth God has commanded me to walk in and I am thankful for books like this that help equip me for the task.
I hope this inadequate review is enough to encourage you to pick up the Mama Bear Apologetics books and fight for your children to know truth, to discern lies, and to be confident in God’s design for them.
Relevant Books (she quoted from many of these and I’ve read them all)
- What Does the Bible Really Teach about Homosexuality? by Kevin DeYoung
- Cynical Theories by Helen Pluckrose and James Lindsay (They talk about queer theory among other critical theories that play into the culture’s view of sexuality and how people communicate about it)
- Irreversible Damage by Abigail Shrier
- The Porn Problem by Vaughan Roberts
- Gay Girl, Good God by Jackie Hill Perry
- Talking Back to Purity Culture by Rachel Joy Welcher (post review in Goodreads…)
- What God Has to Say about Our Bodies by Sam Allberry
- Born Again This Way by Rachel Gilson
- Is God Anti-Gay? by Sam Allberry
- The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self by Carl S. Trueman
- Confronting Christianity by Rebecca McLaughlin
- The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis (I read this before I began reviewing, but it’s pretty insightful in tactics the devil may use to make us question God or engage in sin)
More Quotes:
“Our kids need to understand that chastity is faithfulness in body, mind, and heart; and Satan is going to attack all three.”
“We don’t infuse courage by telling people there is nothing to fear when there is. We infuse courage by reminding them that whatever comes, they can face it head-on with God’s help.”
“There are a lot of crosses to bear… No matter how unfair they are, no matter how inborn the desire is, they do not negate Jesus’s command to carry the cross of Christ.”
“If identity is defined by a person’s psychological state, then we cannot tell people in the midst of depression that they are not worthless. They feel worthless, and according to this definition they are worthless— because that is the relation that has been established by their psychological identification.”
“Our job as Christians is to make disciples, not heterosexuals.”
“It’s only when something doesn’t have any inherent value that you can do whatever you want with it, which turns out to be the skeleton lurking in the closet fo sex-positivity. It encourages you to do whatever you want with whomever you want. The implicit message (that most people don’t pick up on) is that you and your partner(s) have no inherent value worth protecting. Consent can’t provide this value, and neither can pleasure. Sure, sex-positivity may sound like freedom, but in reality, it’s saying that your body and what you do with it don’t matter.”
“He made the pleasures; all our research so far has not enabled us to produce one. All we can do is to encourage the humans to take the pleasures which our Enemy has produced, at times, or in ways, or in degrees, which He has forbidden.”— Screwtape Letters (this is a demon speaking whose Enemy is God)
“Boys are being conditioned to like what they see in porn, and the girls are being conditioned to perform to these boys’ likings.”
“Kids model what they see heroized.”
“We don’t abandon truth because of its abuses. We correct the abuses and stand firm in the truth.”
Shelf Reflection Book Review Blog
Book Review Blog | Facebook | Pinterest
I recently read ‘Mama Bear Apologetics’ which is a book focused on exposing cultural lies and helping our children become critical thinkers to form and hold onto biblical beliefs. I loved the book and have recommended it so much since then.
When I saw they were putting out a book talking about topics of sexuality specifically, I knew I had to read it.
Both of these books are so essential for parents who want to train up their kids in truth in a world that makes it hard to.
They are books you will want to own and I would almost guarantee that you will reference them more than once in the course of your children’s lives.
I took so many notes on this book! Everything was solid and helpful. I wish I could share it all with you, but I’ll just share bits and pieces and trust that you will go out and buy this for yourselves!
She does a great job of covering a lot of tough topics that are front and center in the world today with both truth and compassion. Mama Bear Apologetics is good about acknowledging the good and filtering out the bad. They are not afraid to point out where the church has gotten things wrong. They are bold to ruffle feathers on any side of an issue if it means speaking truth.
One of the main things she includes in each chapter is how we should love other people. We ‘demolish arguments, not people.’ She calls us to “distinguish the person from the ideology.”
“We don’t have to compromise conviction to show compassion.”
When we talk about things that have become politicized, it’s easy to look past a person’s humanity. But we can’t. A person is an eternal soul, not just a walking version of their ideologies.
Hillary points out that in the past parents have looked to schools or youth pastors to teach their kids about sex. It has often been a subject of taboo in families. She encourages us to stop letting our fears silence us.
“Our kids want us to talk to them about sex.”
If we don’t, they will find their answers elsewhere, and that is probably not a good thing.
Within the umbrella of ‘sexuality’ she covers things like: premarital sex, pornography, same-sex attraction, transgenderism, sex positivity, purity culture, the Genderbread Person curriculum taught in schools, and ultimately what God’s design is for sex and sexuality.
There are a ton of practical examples of how to communicate abut these things with your kids, questions to ask, and things to pray. Plus there are a lot of resources they offer in the back of the book and on their website to aid parents in talking about all these things.
The first part of the book is important because she first explains God’s good design.
“When we tamper with God’s plan for sex, we miscommunicate the truths that God had intended to be seen through the marital union.”
The boundaries he places on sex are good.
“The more important and powerful something is, the more it is usually safeguarded. Why wouldn’t we expect the same to be true about sex?”
She spends time explaining a Christian worldview and how that interacts with our beliefs about sex and sexuality. About how what we do with our bodies matter.
“Our desires don’t change the truth; they just reveal our fallenness. There are people who have sexual proclivities they did not ask for. But even if those desires come naturally through no immediate fault of one’s own, it does not make the desires moral, or in accordance with God’s design or intended purposes.”
And lest we be overwhelmed by it all she reminds us that “We are not responsible for the entire direction of the culture. We are only responsible for what happens in our families.”
Reading this book means that you are taking action to be informed and to be faithful to steward your children in biblical truth and trusting God with it all, knowing he is sovereign and loves our kids more than we do!
I was really surprised by a lot of the statistics she shared, especially within Christian demographics, and the verbatim information from things being taught in schools. The stats on pornography were especially staggering.
For example: “90% of teens, 96% of young adults are neutral, accepting, or encouraging of porn consumptions.”
I am shocked by this. If all you read of this book is the chapter on porn, it would be worth it to understand the implications and effects of porn on people and their relationships. Porn is not harmless or empowering and it’s affecting our kids at an alarmingly young age.
I liked that she emphasized that feelings, though not to be ignored, do not determine reality.
I also liked how she showed that cultural sexual ethics actually uphold gender stereotypes. We need to let our children know that in terms of interests and hobbies and talents, there is a spectrum on what it looks like to be a boy or to be a girl. Gender stereotypes need to be done away with— not the genders themselves.
Even as she shared what is moral and what is God’s design, she does not forget to talk about grace, love, and healing.
Part of the purity culture chapter reveals some of the ways the church communicated to youth in the past (though probably not intentionally) that once they’ve lost their virginity, they are less than, that no one would want them, they are damaged goods.
This is not true. No amount of sexual brokenness can keep you from the love or healing power of God. Wherever you are at while reading this book, it’s never too late to come to Christ for renewal. You’re never too far gone.
That’s the beauty of the cross. We may feel like we’re losing out at first because we are dying to ourselves and dying to our desires that often give us pleasure. God gives us boundaries and we can no longer ‘do whatever we want.’ But we are coming into true freedom. We are gaining an identity that is not shifted by the winds of culture or our feelings. We gain stability, security, unconditional love, belonging, and the purity of Christ transferred to us. We gain life. We gain everything.
Things to Repeat to Your Kids Until They Want to Gag
I wanted to include her list (titled above) of these things because it’s true that we remember maxims pretty well since they are repeated so often. It makes it a great place to start when you don’t know what exactly to say to your children.
You’ll have to read the book to have these fleshed out more.
But it would be great to infuse these truths in our kids from a young age:
1. What you do with your body matters.
2. God gave you your body to take of it.
3. Sex is the bodily renewal of marital vows.
4. Authority means leading by serving.
5. God created everything with a purpose, but there are few limits to what sin can break.
6. You can say the right thing in the wrong way.
7. Just because you feel it doesn’t make it true.
8. Not all change is progress.
9. What do you mean by that? How did you come to that conclusion? What actually happened?
10. It’s okay to be normal and it’s okay to be different.
11. It’s okay to be on the wrong side of history if you’re on the right side of eternity.
12. Just because it feels good doesn’t make it good for you.
13. You can’t keep a bird from flying over your head, but you can keep it from making a nest in your hair
14. Feelings are terrible leaders but great followers.
15. Neurons that fire together wire together, or You train your brain what you crave.
16. We are only responsible for what we have even given.
17. Everyone is suffering, just in different ways.
I’m reminded more and more how sex-obsessed the world is. It has been made an ultimate thing that dictates people’s entire lives and identities. It hurts so many people and causes so much pain and brokenness. Sexual immorality is at the heart of a lot of the problems in this world.
Christians are criticized for a biblical stance on sex, gender, orientation, pornography, and the like, but we can’t allow that to sway us from truth.
This book is bolstering to me as a mom of both boys and girls to know that I don’t stand alone and I don’t stand foolishly. This is the truth God has commanded me to walk in and I am thankful for books like this that help equip me for the task.
I hope this inadequate review is enough to encourage you to pick up the Mama Bear Apologetics books and fight for your children to know truth, to discern lies, and to be confident in God’s design for them.
Relevant Books (she quoted from many of these and I’ve read them all)
- What Does the Bible Really Teach about Homosexuality? by Kevin DeYoung
- Cynical Theories by Helen Pluckrose and James Lindsay (They talk about queer theory among other critical theories that play into the culture’s view of sexuality and how people communicate about it)
- Irreversible Damage by Abigail Shrier
- The Porn Problem by Vaughan Roberts
- Gay Girl, Good God by Jackie Hill Perry
- Talking Back to Purity Culture by Rachel Joy Welcher (post review in Goodreads…)
- What God Has to Say about Our Bodies by Sam Allberry
- Born Again This Way by Rachel Gilson
- Is God Anti-Gay? by Sam Allberry
- The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self by Carl S. Trueman
- Confronting Christianity by Rebecca McLaughlin
- The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis (I read this before I began reviewing, but it’s pretty insightful in tactics the devil may use to make us question God or engage in sin)
More Quotes:
“Our kids need to understand that chastity is faithfulness in body, mind, and heart; and Satan is going to attack all three.”
“We don’t infuse courage by telling people there is nothing to fear when there is. We infuse courage by reminding them that whatever comes, they can face it head-on with God’s help.”
“There are a lot of crosses to bear… No matter how unfair they are, no matter how inborn the desire is, they do not negate Jesus’s command to carry the cross of Christ.”
“If identity is defined by a person’s psychological state, then we cannot tell people in the midst of depression that they are not worthless. They feel worthless, and according to this definition they are worthless— because that is the relation that has been established by their psychological identification.”
“Our job as Christians is to make disciples, not heterosexuals.”
“It’s only when something doesn’t have any inherent value that you can do whatever you want with it, which turns out to be the skeleton lurking in the closet fo sex-positivity. It encourages you to do whatever you want with whomever you want. The implicit message (that most people don’t pick up on) is that you and your partner(s) have no inherent value worth protecting. Consent can’t provide this value, and neither can pleasure. Sure, sex-positivity may sound like freedom, but in reality, it’s saying that your body and what you do with it don’t matter.”
“He made the pleasures; all our research so far has not enabled us to produce one. All we can do is to encourage the humans to take the pleasures which our Enemy has produced, at times, or in ways, or in degrees, which He has forbidden.”— Screwtape Letters (this is a demon speaking whose Enemy is God)
“Boys are being conditioned to like what they see in porn, and the girls are being conditioned to perform to these boys’ likings.”
“Kids model what they see heroized.”
“We don’t abandon truth because of its abuses. We correct the abuses and stand firm in the truth.”
Shelf Reflection Book Review Blog
Book Review Blog | Facebook | Pinterest
October 5, 2021
This is a hard topic that most tend to avoid or just find it too uncomfortable to discuss at length. However, with all the confusion and pressures being thrown on our kids from our culture we cannot be passive and sit idly by. Mama Bear Apologetics Guide to Sexuality tackles the things that are being taught to our kids in schools, informs us as parents to what the culture’s agenda is for our kids, and how to talk with our kids about these hard topics. It’s become not a if, but a when our kids will have questions and as parents we needs to be educated, with the foundation of God’s Word. This won’t be an easy read, but it is a necessary one.
May 23, 2024
An incredibly grace-based, truth-filled, equipping resource for all parents and ministry leaders. The authors covered all angles of this difficult and complex topic in an engaging and effective way.
Walking away, as someone quite informed already, I felt this book equipped me and glued it all together.
Every single Christian should read this book. Period.
Accessible. Engaging. Instructive. Practical. Christ-honoring. Praise God.
Walking away, as someone quite informed already, I felt this book equipped me and glued it all together.
Every single Christian should read this book. Period.
Accessible. Engaging. Instructive. Practical. Christ-honoring. Praise God.
October 5, 2021
This book was amazing! Hillary covered the topics in such an easy to read format and with grace. I really appreciate her way of saying things as she expressed things the way I wish I could. I definitely thought this book was well written, and feel the informative. I will 100% be using the tips and ideas in this book to approach teaching about sex to our children. The most important thing I got from this book was that the act of sex is a physical way of remembering our marriage vows to each other. Love it! Highly recommend!
August 18, 2022
This book made me love God more, and left me more in awe of his design. If you hold a biblical worldview, I would consider this a must read for both mothers AND fathers, or truly anyone with children in their lives. Particularly eye opening for me were the chapters on the current elementary sex education curriculums, pornography, and “true love waits” purity culture, etc — I know much damage came from that era of church history & I’m thankful they addressed it in a compassionate, and truth filled way (as they do with every topic!).
August 26, 2024
Really scriptural, loving, and clear. I'll probably go back and either re-read or book-club this one since I listened to an audio version and the material is so pertinent.
May 16, 2023
Love the format and the message!
October 14, 2025
Really enjoyed this one. Debated giving this book 5 stars. Since it was written in 2021, it was very up to date on cultural conversations about gender identity and the ideas being pushed into the school systems. Also covered some other key topics like porn and purity culture. Gave me some practical ideas for discussing God’s design for sex in ways I haven’t thought of.
February 13, 2022
Great resource for us Mommas! We all need to speak to our children about sex and have those conversations throughout their lives. This is a wonderful book to help arm us mommas with fabulous truths and knowledge to encourage and strengthen our kids in a world of bogus theories! ❤
Read
December 11, 2024Well researched, very well argued, and extremely relevant. This is a book every Christian parent needs, and I’ll probably be rereading it in a few years as my kids get older and begin to bump against the stuff in our culture. I especially appreciated the sensitive and nuanced discussion of very delicate topics, without compromising on truth. A little eyebrow-raising and cheek-warming in parts, but definitely an encouraging and well-rounded discussion of God’s design for our bodies and relationships. Highly recommend!
January 1, 2022
I want to write a review, but all I can think to say is that this book is brilliant. I think I underlined more than I left unmarked. I want to re-read it every year so these concepts are able to sink in to my psyche.
April 6, 2023
Such a good book for modern parents in an increasingly “non-Christian” society. This book highlights the important role parents have in their children’s lives and addresses hot topics from a Biblical perspective. It could be a great mom/ Women’s small group study.
May 25, 2022
I pray that this organization keeps writing books! They are AMAZING and have completely changed how I view certain issues! Encouraged to implement more apologetics in my reading and Bible studies.
July 13, 2022
A thorough look at the hot topic of sexuality. Fairly addresses all sides of an issue while arguing for Biblical truth.
December 16, 2023
Alright. I have much to say. Warning: LONG review ahead. Dive with me, or put me in a text-to-speech and pretend I’m one of your internet documentaries. I’m going to be jumping around on various points covered throughout, so don’t expect this to be in chronological order.
I want to start by saying I’m far from the targeted demographic for this book, and seeing the majority of written reviews are from those who love it, I’m definitely one of the few to find this book in the wild who wasn’t looking for it. That said, I did read it from cover to cover and did outside research on some of the citations made, so you can’t say I didn’t give this one a fair shot or didn’t try to meet it where it’s at.
I want to first start with some of the few positives: The author does point out how genuine sex ed is underrepresented in churches and christian communities, and that hyper focus on purity with poor analogies that dehumanize (mostly girls and women) Don’t Work. She also makes a point that a teen expressing masculinity/femininity in unique ways isn’t bad, and that shaming or scaring a teen into submission doesn’t play well at all. Theres a few brief words on calling against sexism, the xxx industry, and people having boundaries with their partners (even in marriage!).
However, for every time I read a passage and thought “Hey, that’s genuinely not a bad thing to tell somebody, that’s actually good advice.” I found myself stumbling down the stairs in a series of Not So Great advice.
Note: This isn’t a guide about sex ed and sexuality *exactly*. I was expecting this to be more of a handbook for moms who are wanting to have a quick glance at it before giving “the talk” or have some information that makes questions that normally someone would just google be accessible in one place. This book isn’t *exactly* that…
It’s more so a very very very brief touch on some topics on sex drive, sexuality, and relationships sandwiched by reflective questions and prayers on the topic of the chapter. While it does have sprinkles of “this is what you and your kid should do/talk about”, I was kind of hoping there would be a ‘at a glance’ guide or something at the back of the book to organize specifics together.
Let’s first talk about sex ed and Planned Parenthood.
Our introduction to NSES (the National Sex Education Standards) and SIECUS (Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States, the organization that created such standards) is as such:
“SIECUS was founded in 1964 by Mary Calderone, former medical director at Planned Parenthood. And where did she get the seed money to form this organization? Hugh Hefner.”
I tried for the life of me find the information on that last bit. While true that Mary Calderone was a formal worker at Planned Parenthood, I’ve found no concisive evidence to support the statement that Hugh Hefner granted some money in the 60’s for this woman’s startup. All sites that state this as fact provide no source of this claim, and also have a very clear bias into how they feel about Planned Parenthood.
One site did refer to a Jan 1979 edition of Playboy as the source, pointing to an interview with the man himself, however attempts to find this interview or this addition of Playboy to read has been fruitless. Not saying it couldn’t have happened, but when this is used as a fact to discredit sex ed in general as well as Calderone’s mission to educate America on their own reproductive health (pouring one out for the ladies diagnosed with Hysteria and wandering ovaries) is misguided at best.
An interesting note, I found this while trying to search for the Hefner thing, sources sited on Wikipedia:
“Her popularity eventually made her a target for right-wing politicians, and conservative religious groups like the Christian Crusade, the John Birch Society, and the Moral Majority, who spent an estimated $40 million on a vicious smear campaign to discredit her. In 1968, Billy James Hargis and Gordon V. Drake targeted SIECUS…claiming that the organization sought to undermine Christian morality, promote promiscuity, and corrupt children...argued that sex education is part of a "giant Communist conspiracy."”
Fascinating! Moving on.
The author sites a medical review from John S Santelli, with this takeaway:
“Technically—according to research partially funded by Planned Parenthood—“
Those commie bastards…
“the “risk reduction” programs correlate with the lowest number of teen pregnancies—the only real metric that they care about.”
Do we *not* care about teen pregnancy rates??
“It’s worth noting that it also correlates with higher abortion rates.”
Alright. True to this, those who are aware of and have access to abortion will then be more likely to seek it as a viable option. It’s also true that those who don’t see it as a viable option will more likely then be teen parents, with the likelihood of academic and career success less achievable.
She also seemed to have skimmed the *conclusion* of the review focused on the success of AOUM (Abstinence-Only-Until-Marriage), quote Santelli:
“Policies or programs offering abstinence as a single option for unmarried adolescents are scientifically and ethically flawed. AOUM programs have little demonstrated efficacy in helping adolescents to delay intercourse, while prompting health-endangering gender stereotypes and marginalizing sexual minority youth. While abstinence from sexual intercourse is theoretically fully protective against pregnancy and STIs, in actual practice, AOUM programs often fail to prevent these outcomes.”
While abstinence is a great personal choice and I commend those for following through with their desire to establish that, unfortunately it does little to actually educate on sex itself and what to expect. It also only works under the implication that everyone has the same religious drive and personal desire to do so. Sex ed isn’t just for your kid, by the way, it’s for every family. “Safe Sex Ed” isn’t “Go wild with whatever, if you say ‘yes’, who cares?!”, it’s “If/when you have sex, you need to know about your own health, boundaries, wants, and be informed on pregnancy and STI/STDs”.
There’s a slip teachers send home that you can sign so they don’t have to sit through that, just so you know.
Now let’s talk about xxx and the xxx industry. Sorry for using a suggestion instead of the word itself, this site will freak out if I have certain keywords even when the book itself talks about it, but I’m hoping the discussion itself will make it clear what I’m talking about.
Personally, yes, I find that the xxx industry and prevalence of it is out of control. What used to be very taboo to access and buy at all has now become something you can accidentally stumble upon daily if you use the internet at all. While having a sex drive and a desire for intimacy is natural and healthy, it’s become insanely commercialized and turned into a profit-making disaster.
However, the statistics measuring consumption and possible addiction has been…complicated to make. The author cites Wired magazine’s article “Internet XXX: Worse Than Crack?” to elaborate the xxx issue.
Looking at the article itself, though, it lacks some punch. The article features Jeffrey Satinover (a psychiatrist who claims being gay is in the same vein of having alcoholism or being a child predator, fought against gay couples adopting children, and that being gay is a result of ‘soul sickness’…whatever that means.) and former republican senator Sam Brownback, whose qualifications for this topic are unknown to me (however he is anti-civil union, anti-marriage, anti-adoption, pro-don’t-ask-don’t-tell, and pro-sodomy laws for gay people…are those qualifications?).
The only person who seems both relevant to the topic and offers an important voice to the matter is Mary Anne Layden, whose work involves both perpetrators and victims and works to understand how to stop the cycle before it starts again. Unfortunately, the focus on ending abuse and help steer people away from a downward spiral seems to have been co-opted by those pushing some other agendas.
Speaking of agendas, if you’re reading this xxx portion and wondering ‘hey, being anti-xxx and being critical of how it treats women? That sounds like feminism!’, you’d be correct. Weirdly, author doesn’t seem to think so-
“If we want to uproot the whole root, we need to get both the taproot and the secondary roots. The taproot is Postmodernism and Marxism, and from them flow all the other ideologies like Intersectionality, Social Justice, Queer Theory, Critical Theory, and Critical Race Theory-“
There’s also a diagram here, a root pictured with all these at different, smaller roots. ‘Feminism’ is pictured as a root as well, but not mentioned in text.
Seriously, though? Marxism? What was this book about, again? I read this and checked how many pages were left because I genuinely didn’t know when the author was going to get into the actual meat of the topic.
Let’s move onto a topic covered by the book- lgbt people!
Theres a cold open of one of the co-authors startled that a kids cartoon featured one of its lead characters being gay. While she later backpedals to defend an lgbt person’s place in church (albeit celibate and ‘not acting upon desires’, more on that later), this is not the only instance of a gay person being featured in a piece of media that the authors says makes her viscerally uncomfortable.
In another part of the book, she calls attention to a video by Planned Parenthood that features a few gay couples kissing-
“Planned Parenthood has made a super awkward little video explaining allllll the ways your child can get consent.” she writes
“It’s basically a voice-over on videos with same-sex couples making out.”
I checked the video out. Yes, it’s awkward, but also I’ve yet to find any sex ed video outside of medical chart slideshows that isn’t. The video itself is actually important, however. Many people may not know how to initiate or ask for permission when it comes to sex, and many people also may not know when it would be inappropriate to continue. The brief few seconds where you see couples kiss is overshadowed by the actually point of the video: You have boundaries, other people have boundaries, and you should respect other people’s boundaries as you’d want them to respect yours. Attraction isn’t permission.
But I guess because the author saw a gay couple kissing, something misfired in her mind to short circuit during that actual teaching moment of the video. Honest mistake.
The author makes a point to pull up suicide, depression, and mental illness statistics when referring to lgbt people. This, of course, is not due to any social stigma, religious pressure, or lack of communal support, rather *acting on* these urges causes one to self harm. Hm!
We pivot with the good old story of Lot, and his time at Sodom and Gomorrah, a tale that’s been argued against the *promiscuity* and lack of control of sexual urges, including but not limited to homosexuality. The author makes clear that all ‘sexual sins’ are the same- incest, homosexuality, child abuse, etc are on the same level, such as any other sin committed. I just found it odd the story of Lot gets cut off right before…well, read it yourself (Genesis 19: 30-38). I’ve seen the story of Lot used in argument, but I have not once seen somebody defend the end of that chapter or go into detail about why that all happened. If someone can point me to someone who has, throw me a bone.
We get pointed to Ricky Chelette. Ughhhhhhh (Read: Oulove by Julie Rodgers - and Watch: Pray Away by Kristine Stolakis). To give the TLDR- Ricky is partly responsible for one of the largest (failed) conversion therapy groups known in recent history. He used pseudoscience to explain lgbt people, and had groomed one of his most prominent speakers into applying that ‘theory’ onto herself even when it didn’t actually apply to her history. Said speaker was then coerced to talk about the sexual assault she was victim of (at the hands of a fellow minister at church camp, no less) as a ‘reason’ why she keeps ‘turning to homosexuality’. Only, she experienced this assault long after coming out as lesbian, and this assault happened *during* her ex-gay phase. Ricky is also gay himself, though he married a woman he admittedly wasn’t attracted to. Not gonna tell him how to live his life, but maybe let’s not tell teenagers they simply ‘forgotten’ being abused and therefore that’s what makes them gay.
However, if you’re gay and feel at an ultimatum about your spirituality and everything else, don’t worry, the author has some great words of encouragement,:
“Carrying your cross could mean never kissing your lover goodnight. Never having a family. Never having that wedding, growing old with someone you love. Your parents might grieve the loss of potential grandchildren, and you could feel like you aren’t just breaking your own heart, but theirs as well….You are loved by God and He sees your suffering.”
Oh. Yeah uh. Yeah I’m sure a gay person reading this will feel very cool about all that. Very tempting future ahead, I’ll say.
This above statement really only works if you find a church that 1. Lets gay people in 2. Condemns the act of gay sex itself 3. Isn’t actively trying to convert you to be straight. On your own? Well…good luck! While the author is somewhat sympathetic and scolds churches for being needlessly cruel to gay folks, let’s be honest, the likelihood of finding a church that meets all three points is like finding a unicorn.
Another separate note on Trans people. there is a *blip* of biblical reference here (Deuteronomy 22:5), but the author states “There is, frankly, a lot of biblical freedom when it comes to gender expression—as long as the person isn’t trying to make people believe something that isn’t true…”
Huh?
“You assign a parking space. You don’t assign a gender…The very use of this word “assigned” is intended to convey that biological sex and gender are subjective perceptions rather than objective facts.”
Well, given how many intersex people are ‘assigned’ a gender only to find later- Opps! Turns out you have more than just one set of reproductive organs or Opps! your body is growing into a completely different male than what your sex would’ve implied or Opps! Turns out your genitalia at birth didn’t ’look right’, and so the doctor ‘corrected’ it to match one set or the other without consideration for its purely cosmetic motivations…I and many others *would* consider this assigned.
It should also be said that even growing in the most isolated, conservative, religious environments don’t prevent or successfully convert lgbt people (Read: Becoming Eve by Abby Stein). Even when the author is asking parents to breath a little and not freak out on their kid if they come out as lgbt, there also isn’t much advice to follow up on. My kid comes out as gay, and now either mourn their loss of a romantic and possible parental life, or mourn when they don’t.
This book also refers to Abigail Shrier (Sigh…Read: my review of Irreversible Damage: The Transgender Craze Seducing our Daughters) and Debra Soh’s The End of Gender. I haven’t read Debra’s book yet, so I can’t make any claims until then, but it does reference something about “11 studies” about gender dysphoria. If it’s the 11 studies I’m thinking of, the Read: “Why ‘rapid-onset gender dysphoria’ is bad science” by Florence Ashley and Alexandre Beeil, as well as “The Controversial Research on 'Desistance' in Transgender Youth” by Jon Brooks.
I want to make a final, smaller point, this time about birth control. Okay, so I know a majority of Christians are either strictly against abortions or may only consider them an option if it was a lethal situation otherwise. Hey, if you don’t want one, you don’t gotta get them, it’s up to you.
But what of other means of birth control? The only mentions of preventatives are blips in the text, and with negative connotations.
“What about how birth control actually enlarges the transformational zone, increasing their risk?” the author states, in the context of STDs
“Of course not! That’s sex-negative.”
True, *some* oral methods of birth control do that, but so is an influx of hormones. Pregnancy or simply going through puberty can cause changes in the body that may lead to increased risk, too, but that isn’t mentioned.
Now what of condoms?
“Oh, and not using condoms. They’re all about condoms.” The author states, in reference to Planned Parenthood’s vice president of medical affairs on the topic of STDs. This is one of i believe three times condoms are mentioned. In a book about sexuality and sex ed.
Okay, yes, people talking about the *planning* of parenthood often talk about those who *plan* to not be a parent. But what do we teach soon-to-be-courted teens? IUDs? Arm implants? What of those who take birth control for hormone imbalance reasons, or period pain?
As much as this book focuses on what isn’t ‘real’ sex ed, then what *is*? Sex Ed answers the questions people have about sex and their own bodies and health, and what to do if and when they’re ready. Sometimes that means hearing about experiences that you may not encounter or engage in. The book encourages mama bears to *politely* push the curriculum to be more focused in a way that’s more Godly. Alright.
All in all, I do think this book has some nuggets of wisdom when it comes to being patient and understanding your kids. These few remarks are drowned out by a wave of not so great ones. It focuses too much on ‘the REAL gay agenda’ (a la Marshall Kirk’s letter from the 80s, as if respectability politics are unique to one ostracized group), spooking parents with citations they’re not gonna look into, and not enough focus on actual health and understand of sex and the body.
If you want to have a more comprehensive guide on sex ed and sexuality, maybe scan a local bookstore or library and read some parent guides yourself, and see if you want to walk through the topics together.
I want to start by saying I’m far from the targeted demographic for this book, and seeing the majority of written reviews are from those who love it, I’m definitely one of the few to find this book in the wild who wasn’t looking for it. That said, I did read it from cover to cover and did outside research on some of the citations made, so you can’t say I didn’t give this one a fair shot or didn’t try to meet it where it’s at.
I want to first start with some of the few positives: The author does point out how genuine sex ed is underrepresented in churches and christian communities, and that hyper focus on purity with poor analogies that dehumanize (mostly girls and women) Don’t Work. She also makes a point that a teen expressing masculinity/femininity in unique ways isn’t bad, and that shaming or scaring a teen into submission doesn’t play well at all. Theres a few brief words on calling against sexism, the xxx industry, and people having boundaries with their partners (even in marriage!).
However, for every time I read a passage and thought “Hey, that’s genuinely not a bad thing to tell somebody, that’s actually good advice.” I found myself stumbling down the stairs in a series of Not So Great advice.
Note: This isn’t a guide about sex ed and sexuality *exactly*. I was expecting this to be more of a handbook for moms who are wanting to have a quick glance at it before giving “the talk” or have some information that makes questions that normally someone would just google be accessible in one place. This book isn’t *exactly* that…
It’s more so a very very very brief touch on some topics on sex drive, sexuality, and relationships sandwiched by reflective questions and prayers on the topic of the chapter. While it does have sprinkles of “this is what you and your kid should do/talk about”, I was kind of hoping there would be a ‘at a glance’ guide or something at the back of the book to organize specifics together.
Let’s first talk about sex ed and Planned Parenthood.
Our introduction to NSES (the National Sex Education Standards) and SIECUS (Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States, the organization that created such standards) is as such:
“SIECUS was founded in 1964 by Mary Calderone, former medical director at Planned Parenthood. And where did she get the seed money to form this organization? Hugh Hefner.”
I tried for the life of me find the information on that last bit. While true that Mary Calderone was a formal worker at Planned Parenthood, I’ve found no concisive evidence to support the statement that Hugh Hefner granted some money in the 60’s for this woman’s startup. All sites that state this as fact provide no source of this claim, and also have a very clear bias into how they feel about Planned Parenthood.
One site did refer to a Jan 1979 edition of Playboy as the source, pointing to an interview with the man himself, however attempts to find this interview or this addition of Playboy to read has been fruitless. Not saying it couldn’t have happened, but when this is used as a fact to discredit sex ed in general as well as Calderone’s mission to educate America on their own reproductive health (pouring one out for the ladies diagnosed with Hysteria and wandering ovaries) is misguided at best.
An interesting note, I found this while trying to search for the Hefner thing, sources sited on Wikipedia:
“Her popularity eventually made her a target for right-wing politicians, and conservative religious groups like the Christian Crusade, the John Birch Society, and the Moral Majority, who spent an estimated $40 million on a vicious smear campaign to discredit her. In 1968, Billy James Hargis and Gordon V. Drake targeted SIECUS…claiming that the organization sought to undermine Christian morality, promote promiscuity, and corrupt children...argued that sex education is part of a "giant Communist conspiracy."”
Fascinating! Moving on.
The author sites a medical review from John S Santelli, with this takeaway:
“Technically—according to research partially funded by Planned Parenthood—“
Those commie bastards…
“the “risk reduction” programs correlate with the lowest number of teen pregnancies—the only real metric that they care about.”
Do we *not* care about teen pregnancy rates??
“It’s worth noting that it also correlates with higher abortion rates.”
Alright. True to this, those who are aware of and have access to abortion will then be more likely to seek it as a viable option. It’s also true that those who don’t see it as a viable option will more likely then be teen parents, with the likelihood of academic and career success less achievable.
She also seemed to have skimmed the *conclusion* of the review focused on the success of AOUM (Abstinence-Only-Until-Marriage), quote Santelli:
“Policies or programs offering abstinence as a single option for unmarried adolescents are scientifically and ethically flawed. AOUM programs have little demonstrated efficacy in helping adolescents to delay intercourse, while prompting health-endangering gender stereotypes and marginalizing sexual minority youth. While abstinence from sexual intercourse is theoretically fully protective against pregnancy and STIs, in actual practice, AOUM programs often fail to prevent these outcomes.”
While abstinence is a great personal choice and I commend those for following through with their desire to establish that, unfortunately it does little to actually educate on sex itself and what to expect. It also only works under the implication that everyone has the same religious drive and personal desire to do so. Sex ed isn’t just for your kid, by the way, it’s for every family. “Safe Sex Ed” isn’t “Go wild with whatever, if you say ‘yes’, who cares?!”, it’s “If/when you have sex, you need to know about your own health, boundaries, wants, and be informed on pregnancy and STI/STDs”.
There’s a slip teachers send home that you can sign so they don’t have to sit through that, just so you know.
Now let’s talk about xxx and the xxx industry. Sorry for using a suggestion instead of the word itself, this site will freak out if I have certain keywords even when the book itself talks about it, but I’m hoping the discussion itself will make it clear what I’m talking about.
Personally, yes, I find that the xxx industry and prevalence of it is out of control. What used to be very taboo to access and buy at all has now become something you can accidentally stumble upon daily if you use the internet at all. While having a sex drive and a desire for intimacy is natural and healthy, it’s become insanely commercialized and turned into a profit-making disaster.
However, the statistics measuring consumption and possible addiction has been…complicated to make. The author cites Wired magazine’s article “Internet XXX: Worse Than Crack?” to elaborate the xxx issue.
Looking at the article itself, though, it lacks some punch. The article features Jeffrey Satinover (a psychiatrist who claims being gay is in the same vein of having alcoholism or being a child predator, fought against gay couples adopting children, and that being gay is a result of ‘soul sickness’…whatever that means.) and former republican senator Sam Brownback, whose qualifications for this topic are unknown to me (however he is anti-civil union, anti-marriage, anti-adoption, pro-don’t-ask-don’t-tell, and pro-sodomy laws for gay people…are those qualifications?).
The only person who seems both relevant to the topic and offers an important voice to the matter is Mary Anne Layden, whose work involves both perpetrators and victims and works to understand how to stop the cycle before it starts again. Unfortunately, the focus on ending abuse and help steer people away from a downward spiral seems to have been co-opted by those pushing some other agendas.
Speaking of agendas, if you’re reading this xxx portion and wondering ‘hey, being anti-xxx and being critical of how it treats women? That sounds like feminism!’, you’d be correct. Weirdly, author doesn’t seem to think so-
“If we want to uproot the whole root, we need to get both the taproot and the secondary roots. The taproot is Postmodernism and Marxism, and from them flow all the other ideologies like Intersectionality, Social Justice, Queer Theory, Critical Theory, and Critical Race Theory-“
There’s also a diagram here, a root pictured with all these at different, smaller roots. ‘Feminism’ is pictured as a root as well, but not mentioned in text.
Seriously, though? Marxism? What was this book about, again? I read this and checked how many pages were left because I genuinely didn’t know when the author was going to get into the actual meat of the topic.
Let’s move onto a topic covered by the book- lgbt people!
Theres a cold open of one of the co-authors startled that a kids cartoon featured one of its lead characters being gay. While she later backpedals to defend an lgbt person’s place in church (albeit celibate and ‘not acting upon desires’, more on that later), this is not the only instance of a gay person being featured in a piece of media that the authors says makes her viscerally uncomfortable.
In another part of the book, she calls attention to a video by Planned Parenthood that features a few gay couples kissing-
“Planned Parenthood has made a super awkward little video explaining allllll the ways your child can get consent.” she writes
“It’s basically a voice-over on videos with same-sex couples making out.”
I checked the video out. Yes, it’s awkward, but also I’ve yet to find any sex ed video outside of medical chart slideshows that isn’t. The video itself is actually important, however. Many people may not know how to initiate or ask for permission when it comes to sex, and many people also may not know when it would be inappropriate to continue. The brief few seconds where you see couples kiss is overshadowed by the actually point of the video: You have boundaries, other people have boundaries, and you should respect other people’s boundaries as you’d want them to respect yours. Attraction isn’t permission.
But I guess because the author saw a gay couple kissing, something misfired in her mind to short circuit during that actual teaching moment of the video. Honest mistake.
The author makes a point to pull up suicide, depression, and mental illness statistics when referring to lgbt people. This, of course, is not due to any social stigma, religious pressure, or lack of communal support, rather *acting on* these urges causes one to self harm. Hm!
We pivot with the good old story of Lot, and his time at Sodom and Gomorrah, a tale that’s been argued against the *promiscuity* and lack of control of sexual urges, including but not limited to homosexuality. The author makes clear that all ‘sexual sins’ are the same- incest, homosexuality, child abuse, etc are on the same level, such as any other sin committed. I just found it odd the story of Lot gets cut off right before…well, read it yourself (Genesis 19: 30-38). I’ve seen the story of Lot used in argument, but I have not once seen somebody defend the end of that chapter or go into detail about why that all happened. If someone can point me to someone who has, throw me a bone.
We get pointed to Ricky Chelette. Ughhhhhhh (Read: Oulove by Julie Rodgers - and Watch: Pray Away by Kristine Stolakis). To give the TLDR- Ricky is partly responsible for one of the largest (failed) conversion therapy groups known in recent history. He used pseudoscience to explain lgbt people, and had groomed one of his most prominent speakers into applying that ‘theory’ onto herself even when it didn’t actually apply to her history. Said speaker was then coerced to talk about the sexual assault she was victim of (at the hands of a fellow minister at church camp, no less) as a ‘reason’ why she keeps ‘turning to homosexuality’. Only, she experienced this assault long after coming out as lesbian, and this assault happened *during* her ex-gay phase. Ricky is also gay himself, though he married a woman he admittedly wasn’t attracted to. Not gonna tell him how to live his life, but maybe let’s not tell teenagers they simply ‘forgotten’ being abused and therefore that’s what makes them gay.
However, if you’re gay and feel at an ultimatum about your spirituality and everything else, don’t worry, the author has some great words of encouragement,:
“Carrying your cross could mean never kissing your lover goodnight. Never having a family. Never having that wedding, growing old with someone you love. Your parents might grieve the loss of potential grandchildren, and you could feel like you aren’t just breaking your own heart, but theirs as well….You are loved by God and He sees your suffering.”
Oh. Yeah uh. Yeah I’m sure a gay person reading this will feel very cool about all that. Very tempting future ahead, I’ll say.
This above statement really only works if you find a church that 1. Lets gay people in 2. Condemns the act of gay sex itself 3. Isn’t actively trying to convert you to be straight. On your own? Well…good luck! While the author is somewhat sympathetic and scolds churches for being needlessly cruel to gay folks, let’s be honest, the likelihood of finding a church that meets all three points is like finding a unicorn.
Another separate note on Trans people. there is a *blip* of biblical reference here (Deuteronomy 22:5), but the author states “There is, frankly, a lot of biblical freedom when it comes to gender expression—as long as the person isn’t trying to make people believe something that isn’t true…”
Huh?
“You assign a parking space. You don’t assign a gender…The very use of this word “assigned” is intended to convey that biological sex and gender are subjective perceptions rather than objective facts.”
Well, given how many intersex people are ‘assigned’ a gender only to find later- Opps! Turns out you have more than just one set of reproductive organs or Opps! your body is growing into a completely different male than what your sex would’ve implied or Opps! Turns out your genitalia at birth didn’t ’look right’, and so the doctor ‘corrected’ it to match one set or the other without consideration for its purely cosmetic motivations…I and many others *would* consider this assigned.
It should also be said that even growing in the most isolated, conservative, religious environments don’t prevent or successfully convert lgbt people (Read: Becoming Eve by Abby Stein). Even when the author is asking parents to breath a little and not freak out on their kid if they come out as lgbt, there also isn’t much advice to follow up on. My kid comes out as gay, and now either mourn their loss of a romantic and possible parental life, or mourn when they don’t.
This book also refers to Abigail Shrier (Sigh…Read: my review of Irreversible Damage: The Transgender Craze Seducing our Daughters) and Debra Soh’s The End of Gender. I haven’t read Debra’s book yet, so I can’t make any claims until then, but it does reference something about “11 studies” about gender dysphoria. If it’s the 11 studies I’m thinking of, the Read: “Why ‘rapid-onset gender dysphoria’ is bad science” by Florence Ashley and Alexandre Beeil, as well as “The Controversial Research on 'Desistance' in Transgender Youth” by Jon Brooks.
I want to make a final, smaller point, this time about birth control. Okay, so I know a majority of Christians are either strictly against abortions or may only consider them an option if it was a lethal situation otherwise. Hey, if you don’t want one, you don’t gotta get them, it’s up to you.
But what of other means of birth control? The only mentions of preventatives are blips in the text, and with negative connotations.
“What about how birth control actually enlarges the transformational zone, increasing their risk?” the author states, in the context of STDs
“Of course not! That’s sex-negative.”
True, *some* oral methods of birth control do that, but so is an influx of hormones. Pregnancy or simply going through puberty can cause changes in the body that may lead to increased risk, too, but that isn’t mentioned.
Now what of condoms?
“Oh, and not using condoms. They’re all about condoms.” The author states, in reference to Planned Parenthood’s vice president of medical affairs on the topic of STDs. This is one of i believe three times condoms are mentioned. In a book about sexuality and sex ed.
Okay, yes, people talking about the *planning* of parenthood often talk about those who *plan* to not be a parent. But what do we teach soon-to-be-courted teens? IUDs? Arm implants? What of those who take birth control for hormone imbalance reasons, or period pain?
As much as this book focuses on what isn’t ‘real’ sex ed, then what *is*? Sex Ed answers the questions people have about sex and their own bodies and health, and what to do if and when they’re ready. Sometimes that means hearing about experiences that you may not encounter or engage in. The book encourages mama bears to *politely* push the curriculum to be more focused in a way that’s more Godly. Alright.
All in all, I do think this book has some nuggets of wisdom when it comes to being patient and understanding your kids. These few remarks are drowned out by a wave of not so great ones. It focuses too much on ‘the REAL gay agenda’ (a la Marshall Kirk’s letter from the 80s, as if respectability politics are unique to one ostracized group), spooking parents with citations they’re not gonna look into, and not enough focus on actual health and understand of sex and the body.
If you want to have a more comprehensive guide on sex ed and sexuality, maybe scan a local bookstore or library and read some parent guides yourself, and see if you want to walk through the topics together.
October 2, 2023
I have listened to this book twice now and almost want a hard copy to highlight and reference. Definitely a read Id recommend to ANY mama of tweens (or teens still struggling with these talks), regardless if you feel you or your children have a solidified faith or not. The concept introduced of just how powerful sex is, and that ALL things that hold such power always require proper boundaries is such a beautiful, important way of addressing sexual decision making to ANY teen.
As a science doctorate holding Christian that “struggles” with seeing the grey in almost everything, I deeply appreciated the authors way of discussing sex, sexuality, and gender identity from both a biblical standpoint with endless scripture references and ALSO a knowledgeable scientific standpoint of what science, statistics, and research/ peer reviewed studies suggest as factual holding a science based master herself. 🙌🙌🙌is all I can say!! Everything was covered and looked at so well, I only wish I was as well versed as the author to be able to voice these differing yet all aligning aspects that do show the real grey areas that deserve tender empathy and respect yet also highlight where current cultural trends are hijacking what’s heard in society that differs from everything we “know” biblically and scientifically. Don’t even hesitate to read this one regardless of where you stand on any and all of this- it’s guaranteed to be enlightening. The only real negative I have on this is her stats shared on ages our children are exposed to things ( while def seeming to have a bias of blaming the public school system). I am CERTAIN my public school 5th grade boys were not remotely exposed to these concepts at aged mentioned. And while I know some districts/ organizations have deep intentions to push alternative agendas, I do feel that assuming ALL elementary schools are doing such ( even it National orgs at the top are) can be harmful and stress inducing for many sweet Elementary schools in an already stressful time as our nation continues to recover and close gaps induced by COVID everything. I believe it’s important to stay aware of and watch for, but I also think we need to be cautious at assuming the worst for ALL as these decisions all ultimately come down to the district and individual school principles level.
As a science doctorate holding Christian that “struggles” with seeing the grey in almost everything, I deeply appreciated the authors way of discussing sex, sexuality, and gender identity from both a biblical standpoint with endless scripture references and ALSO a knowledgeable scientific standpoint of what science, statistics, and research/ peer reviewed studies suggest as factual holding a science based master herself. 🙌🙌🙌is all I can say!! Everything was covered and looked at so well, I only wish I was as well versed as the author to be able to voice these differing yet all aligning aspects that do show the real grey areas that deserve tender empathy and respect yet also highlight where current cultural trends are hijacking what’s heard in society that differs from everything we “know” biblically and scientifically. Don’t even hesitate to read this one regardless of where you stand on any and all of this- it’s guaranteed to be enlightening. The only real negative I have on this is her stats shared on ages our children are exposed to things ( while def seeming to have a bias of blaming the public school system). I am CERTAIN my public school 5th grade boys were not remotely exposed to these concepts at aged mentioned. And while I know some districts/ organizations have deep intentions to push alternative agendas, I do feel that assuming ALL elementary schools are doing such ( even it National orgs at the top are) can be harmful and stress inducing for many sweet Elementary schools in an already stressful time as our nation continues to recover and close gaps induced by COVID everything. I believe it’s important to stay aware of and watch for, but I also think we need to be cautious at assuming the worst for ALL as these decisions all ultimately come down to the district and individual school principles level.
September 6, 2022
Heard the authors of this book on a favorite podcast and knew I needed to read it. I so appreciated the Scripture-based teachings that help me as a parent stand firm against the ways our culture twists and perverts God's design. I found the chapters easy to understand, helpful, and practical and I will use these tools in my parenting journey again and again. (The afterward with mottos to repeat to your children until they roll their eyes was perfect. A simple, beautiful way to incorporate truths from Scripture into our kids' every day lives so it shapes their very core.)
I did find in some instances that the tone the authors took came across as sarcastic and belittling of some of the ideas presented by culture. While I also disagreed with the precepts they were dispelling and was internally rolling my eyes, I hated the condescending tone. As the authors mentioned many times, we are called to love (and this is separate from giving our stamp of approval), but if our first reaction is eye rolls (preaching to myself), sarcasm and making fun, we aren't in a place where our love will shine through. A minor thing I found throughout the book that annoyed me about an otherwise excellent book.
Would recommend this book to every Christian parent seeking to raise kids who stand firm for Biblical truth, who are counter cultural and who shine as lights in this dark generation while loving well.
I did find in some instances that the tone the authors took came across as sarcastic and belittling of some of the ideas presented by culture. While I also disagreed with the precepts they were dispelling and was internally rolling my eyes, I hated the condescending tone. As the authors mentioned many times, we are called to love (and this is separate from giving our stamp of approval), but if our first reaction is eye rolls (preaching to myself), sarcasm and making fun, we aren't in a place where our love will shine through. A minor thing I found throughout the book that annoyed me about an otherwise excellent book.
Would recommend this book to every Christian parent seeking to raise kids who stand firm for Biblical truth, who are counter cultural and who shine as lights in this dark generation while loving well.
July 30, 2022
Excellent. Such an important read. Every parent, grandparent, pastor, ministry worker, etc who desires to help young people cultivate a Biblical worldview would benefit from reading it. Very well written and researched and, as far as I’m aware, unlike any other current resource on this topic.
This is incredibly helpful to us all - we must start with accurate understanding. Besides learning so much that I will need to keep rereading many chapters, I love the heart behind this book. The message to love well, to understand God’s words are the source of reality and truth, to live in truth, and to ask the Lord to “grant us love and compassion and understanding as we all carry our crosses, together.”
This is incredibly helpful to us all - we must start with accurate understanding. Besides learning so much that I will need to keep rereading many chapters, I love the heart behind this book. The message to love well, to understand God’s words are the source of reality and truth, to live in truth, and to ask the Lord to “grant us love and compassion and understanding as we all carry our crosses, together.”
January 1, 2024
I found this book to be an incredibly needed resource for Christian parents today. I feel like there is a lot of fear mongering when it comes to gender identity and sexuality, but this book helped me to understand 1. The different gender identity terms our world uses. 2. What is being taught in schools and the government agencies behind the curriculum. 3. The importance of establishing a worldview at home and catechizing our children. This book was full of empathy, truth, and discussion questions that helped me feel empowered to have conversations with my kids about gender identity, pornography, purity culture, God’s design for sex and how we can love people who may be struggling in this area. Highly reccomend
July 9, 2023
How do you view your world? How do you explain to someone how your faith informs what is happening in our culture? What is true? How do you explain that to your children? How do you help them negotiate the minefield of life in school, on the playground, in church? How do you give a reason for the hope that is within you?
If you want to better be able to answer these questions and more read this book. If you are a man, father instead of a mama bear it matters not. Truth is truth. Read and digest this book. Start saying the 10 Things to Repeat Till Your Kids Gag to your kids.
Both of these books are very good!
If you want to better be able to answer these questions and more read this book. If you are a man, father instead of a mama bear it matters not. Truth is truth. Read and digest this book. Start saying the 10 Things to Repeat Till Your Kids Gag to your kids.
Both of these books are very good!
July 12, 2022
As a parent grappling with how to answer the cultural questions and messages crashing over this current generation of young hearts and minds with the force of a tsunami wave- this book is a life raft. Written with some humor, with clarity, Scriptural truth and a true gentleness for the confusion so many on the side of the sexual revolution are living in, this book is one I will reference again. Thank you Mama Bears for writing this.
September 6, 2022
This book touches on topics that most people would rather not deal with. But if we don’t deal with it and teach our children the truth, someone else will gladly step in and teach them “their truth.”
We say it pretty often at our church, “Whoever wants the next generation the most will win them.” It’s an act of obedience to pass on the word of God to the next generation. While very heavy, this was a necessary read and a great tool to help me raise my child with Christian values in current culture.
We say it pretty often at our church, “Whoever wants the next generation the most will win them.” It’s an act of obedience to pass on the word of God to the next generation. While very heavy, this was a necessary read and a great tool to help me raise my child with Christian values in current culture.
March 25, 2024
Once again, an incredibly helpful, encouraging, and challenging read, this time focusing on Biblical sexuality and how to practice discernment with the new sexual education standards, the new definitions of identity, sex, and attraction, and with purity culture—with practical tips on how to convey this discernment to our kids with a steady reminder that all we do should be done in love. Highly recommend.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 223 reviews