No friends, no phone / Just a little sex with the Netflix on (We Should Be Together – Pia Mia).
Wait, what’s going on with all those stars up there? I think I… actually really liked this? Huh, I’m as surprised as you are, trust me. The truth is that I really thought I’d hate this based solely off of the first chapter and the odd narrative voice given to the main character. I was worried it’d be bit too quirky and a bit too self-referential for my tastes. It’s the same old story of my life-long crusade against Marvel ass dialogue and all that. But as I went along, I found that I actually started to enjoy the writing and the story and pretty much everything else about it! I mean, it helped that this was super short so I didn't have to spend too much time with these dudes, because otherwise my delighted surprise could have easily turned into bitter annoyance, but I digress. Here's the thing, what they don’t tell you about reading is that checking out the blurb can often be very helpful to folks because they give you a synopsis of the plot in order to give the people a little taste of what the book will be like. Sorry, I’m not being trying to be condescending to you, I’m being condescending to me, because I’m sure you can guess that this was another situation where I went into this completely unprepared and spent a large portion of my time with this book feeling like I was reading it the wrong way. It’s like how I’ve noticed a lot of people like to play The Sims in a wholesome way, making their Sims happy and recreating their favorite celebrities or whatever and I very much do not do that. After watching other people play the game, I’m always left feeling like, “Oh shit, I'm totally doing this wrong!” I guess it's just one of those things. Well, I did end up making Usher, the singer Usher, in The Sims, but I promise that it was entirely by mistake and also he’s evil. So, it’s more like, Tethered Usher. Anyway, I figure I’ll keep on keeping on with this “go-with-the-flow” reading style because, yeah, I never learn, but also, hey, it’s never failed me before! Why stop now? Because like I said, after adjusting my expectations a little, I actually really enjoyed this! As someone who has a lot of fun with movies like Before Sunset, I thought that the way that all of Side Character’s story takes place in one night and has a “bottle episode” vibe to it was really well done and really cool.
Although, if I had to say one thing on the side of criticism, then I’d say that if the main character was, like, 2% less horny, I would have been more ready to recommend this book to anyone and everyone coming my way! It's the opposite of how Benson Boone is about 3% away from sounding like a steaming pile of trash on the chorus in his hit single "Beautiful Things." I'm very good at math. Seriously though, not to be twinkphobic, but this book’s protagonist was annoying as hell. I’m pretty sure his name was Gavin, but I’m blanking and the blurb that I just read does that weird thing where it’s written from the perspective of the main character and didn’t feel the need to name him. But that doesn’t matter right now, what matters is that I think my main problem with him was that his overly horned up narration is often at odds with the overarching romantic vibe that I think the book was going for with its reveal (Spoilers, but not really) that Gavin's pining for his crush, Sawyer, has been reciprocated for years. And if it wasn't for the adorable, over-the-top, antics of Sawyer and his bro squad, my opinions of this book would have differed greatly to say the least. And look, Side Character is no The Lake House starring Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock, but there’s still a lot more longing and yearning in this story than I’m sure a lot of people will give it credit for. Not that I’d blame people for thinking this book would simply be another one of those samey “shirtless man books” that seem to materialize out of the ether every couple months (I certainly thought it would be), because again, this book really could have shined more had Gavin been, like, 5% less horny. I believe it was Aristotle who said that “The writer must never overuse the ‘Bratty Bottom’ archetype, lest they end up alienating their readers and making the story worse off because of it.” Wow, powerful stuff Ari. Okay, I hope I don't sound like a prude, because I think it's totally cool for a main character of a cute love story to have sexual thoughts, but I really don’t think I’m clutching my pearls when I say that it’s a bit much to have Gavin thinking about sucking dick and cock several times a chapter in a thirty page long story. Nonetheless, this was good. The cute set-up, breezy pacing, and its surprisingly wholesome love story, it’s all good and it’s all stuff I like. Besides, if you look at it at just the right angle, Side Character really does have the bones of a critically acclaimed, “fourty-minute-standing-ovation-at-the-Cannes-Film-Festival,” transcendent type of love story hidden in there somewhere. Was that a bit of an exaggeration? Probably. Oh well, call me Jack Reacher the way I’m always reaching.
“You don’t have to tell me your secrets, but if you want me to understand, you’re gonna have to spell it out for me, because drunk me is apparently super dumb and can’t read context clues for shit.”