Not the Type: Finding your place in the real world

by Camilla Thurlow

'You can reinvent yourself, you can change, you can grow, you can regress, you can be any number of things at any particular time. Please give yourself permission to do that, and be equally as open-minded to others who choose to do the same. Because perhaps, with just a little more compassion and acceptance, we won't need to fit in to feel that we belong.' Camilla Thurlow came second on Love Island in 2017. More recently, she impressed viewers in Celebrity Who Dares Wins. But that's not the most interesting part . . . Camilla can do something that none of her fellow contestants can find, neutralise and destroy the landmines that threaten the lives and livelihoods of so many people in the world's former war zones, and which make their land too dangerous to be worked. This is at once a memoir of an extraordinary life, and a script for living one's life to the full. Camilla Thurlow is a highly independent woman whose thoughts and experience will resonate with anyone seeking meaning in a world where women are too often discounted, or who frequently feel alienated amid the frenzy of contemporary life. This is a book about courage - not just the courage to go out and deal with a lethal threat in some of the world's most dangerous and inhospitable places, but the courage to confront one's own fears and anxieties, and to be oneself in what too often seems an inhospitable world. Not the Type will inspire a whole generation to dare the seemingly impossible. Although often an engaging reflection on life, landmines and Love Island, this is also a book about learning to confront one's own anxieties in a world dominated by celebrity culture and social media - and on being a woman in what is still too often a man's world.

Genres: Nonfiction, Audiobook, Memoir, Biography, Womens

Hardcover

First published August 20, 2020

Reviews

[Tilly · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars

I have been a fan of Camilla since she was on Love Island and so was excited to see that she was releasing a book that looked to be based around her work of demining. I enjoyed alot of this book but sadly felt some aspects let it down.
I really enjoyed learning about Camilla's training and work with The Halo Trust. This was my favourite part of the book as I found it to be incredibly informative, interesting and very well written. Her journey with this organisation had me on the edge of my metaphorical seat. It was gripping and with every sentence I found my admiration for her grow.
The section on Love Island was very small and I didn't mind this as I was more interested in the aspects of her life that we hadn't seen on screen.

I felt the editing was a little confused. After the first demining section, it seemed to skip between personal anecdotes and essay writing on a host of issues including social media, the refugee crisis, mental health issues, sexism and racism. For me, there wasn't a coherent flow and I found it really let down the book.
Camilla is clearly an amazing woman and the more I learnt about her the more in awe I was of her bravery, intelligence and need to help others.
This is why I was sadly rather upset to read how incredibly self deprecating she is to the point of being constantly negative about herself throughout the book. It made me sad that she felt this way and also a little angry that some of this wasn't edited out. After a while I found it rather depressing to the point I wasn't sure if I could continue reading. For me it screamed that Camilla needs some form of help so that she can celebrate all the wonderful things she does and is rather that to continually put herself down for not doing more.

Overall it was a book of two halves and one that could have been excellent. I am glad I have read it as learning about her work with The Halo Trust was something that will stay with me. I just wish it has been edited better and that the overall tone wasn't so self deprecating.

Please note that I was gifted this book in exchange for an honest review.

[Is 🌿 · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5/5 stars

i’m gonna say this for the last time but i just LOVE camilla. i feel so seen by her especially in this book. the last chapter ‘strong woman?’ was something i really needed to hear right now. one of my favorite paragraphs is:

“You can reinvent yourself, you can change, you can grow, you can regress, you can be any number of things at any particular time. Please give yourself permission to do that, and be equally as open-minded to others who choose to do the same. Because perhaps, with just a little more compassion and acceptance, we won’t need to fit in to feel that we belong.” ugh it’s just so beautifully said. i also love that she said, “we must continue to challenge the idea that there is a right ‘type’ to do anything.” something i need to remind myself of daily. i always think there’s a better type than me to do anything i want to do.

i loved hearing about camilla’s experiences and thoughts about a variety of political issues. she is so intelligent and empathetic. the only reason it is not a 5 star read for me is because of the multiple typos i saw and kind of disorganized structure of the book as a whole. i personally didn’t mind the random tangents bc i love what she has to say but it did take away from the integrity of the book. overall i highly recommend love island s3 (which is how i was introduced to camilla) and reading this book! especially if u often feel out of place in this world. it’s so good!!

[Lorna · Rating 5 out of 5]

I took a liking to Camilla when she was on Love Island, I find her such a down to earth and genuine human (there aren’t a lot left these days). I got a lot more from this book than I was expecting - I anticipated a lot of Love Island talk but I really enjoyed reading about her HALO days and getting a glimpse into that world. Camilla writes very well and explains things in such a clear manner… this gets 5 stars from me.

[Sophie Kemp-Smith · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thoroughly enjoyed listening to Camilla’s experiences in mine clearance and being a woman in that environment. The first chapters made for empowering reading!

If you’re looking for an exposé of Love Island you won’t get it, one chapter covers that journey very briefly.

I didn’t rate it higher as it was a little triggering for my mental health. I am always glad to hear mental health (anxiety and OCD inthis case) mentioned but when someone’s patterns mirror my own, it causes the compulsions to be triggered unfortunately. I’d love to see common trigger warnings featured in the introductions for books.

[Jenny · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

I listened to the audiobook version of this, read by Camilla herself. I thoroughly enjoyed my time listening to this book, and I flew through it - finishing it in a matter of days. I liked that we got autobiographical content as well as essay-style content, but I wish they had been linked better. At times the jump from one to the other felt slightly jarring - but this may have been since I listened to the audio version rather than reading the physical book. Overall an enjoyable and interesting read!

[Charli · Rating 3 out of 5]

Enjoyed the first half of personal stories much more than the stream of consciousness/ essay writing of the second half. Big kudos to bomb disposal.

[Niklas Braun · Rating 3 out of 5]

Actually not a terrible read. It was cool to learn about her time as a mine disposal expert in different situations. She went into great detail on those fronts. This book is a very large amount of moralizing, however, and a lot of talk about mental health when in other parts she continuously discusses how she pushes away every therapist and has not gotten real treatment for a lot of her issues. Hopefully she is doing well now.

[Ellie Moore · Rating 2 out of 5]

If I’m honest I probably wanted to read more about Camilla’s Love Island experience and there was only really one chapter about that. It was interesting to read about her life prior to LI with The HALO Trust, and also nice that she was so honest about her struggles with anxiety, a lot of which I could relate to. I did notice a lot of spelling mistakes too, (pet peeve) so had to knock a star off for that. 🤣🥴

[Effie Simmons · Rating 3 out of 5]

Let's be honest, I read this on a bit of a whim to see what it was like on Love Island, barely got a glimpse of that and with the end feeling quite preachy there wasn't all that much that I enjoyed. I have to say her story of becoming a bomb disposal expert and working across the world  was fascinating, her take on social media today less so. In my opinion she should have stuck to just telling her story.

[Sharon · Rating 2 out of 5]

I honestly couldn't enjoy this. I found it very uncomfortable. It was a relief when Camilla said she was going to seek professional help at the very end. There were parts of it that were thought provoking, but overall I just found it far too heavy and woeful. Parts came across to me as very self indulgent and overall I felt it was lacking any kind of flow. For example, when talking about her time demining, I couldn't understand why there was so much about worrying where to go for a wee or have a shower. I get that it's important to highlight gender disparities, but I felt like in the context of where she was, it should have been a minor thing. Perhaps that's her anxiety though...
I'm relieved it's over and I honestly hope Camilla can, with professional help, heal and live a positive life, because I think she does incredible things and is obviously a good person.

[Meg · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really enjoyed this book - especially parts on halo charity! Very self aware and interesting

[Tess · Rating 5 out of 5]

Binging UK’s best reality show LOVE ISLAND is what got my husband and I through the dog days of lockdown in April and May. It was such a treat to check in with our “friends” every night which provided a sense of calm and, strangely, community while we were scared and isolated. Our favorite contestant by far was Camilla, who was part of the cast in 2017. She was so different than the other contestants, and we immediately got deeply invested in her storyline and tried understanding why she would want to do a show like this. We were able to hold off on researching what happened to everyone after the show, and delighted to no end when we discovered (after she came in second!) that she is still with the guy she ended up with on the show, Jamie. We were both so happy for them and when I learned that she was writing a book, I knew I had to read it immediately.

I was so interested in hearing what being on the show was like from her point of view. Compared to her fellow cast mates, Camilla was extremely shy, a feminist, and, most notably, a humanitarian. I’m not knocking the rest of the cast, but if you’ve seen the show, you know that most of them don’t fit in any of those categories. Camilla’s job before the show was with HALO, and organization that finds and diffuses landmines in war torn countries. Most of the book is focused on that, and it’s completely fascinating. I learned so much about the process, and the people involved, and I really appreciated her point of view. It wasn’t an easy job, and she sacrificed a lot for her Herculean efforts. Writing about her guilt and privilege was eye opening and heartbreaking. I also enjoyed the chapters on feminism and social media. This is not a sensational book about reality tv. That is part of it, but it tells a well-rounded story from a multi-dimensional women who had led an extraordinary life so far.

[Sam · Rating 2 out of 5]

Whilst I really enjoyed learning about Camilla’s life, how unpredictable her career has been and how vastly different her life was before Love Island, I can’t say I was totally enthralled.

Camilla’s writing with her work in HALO, her Love Island experience and her place as a young women are really solid and interesting chapters. They are constructed well with a mix of personal experience, wider societal understanding and critical thinking. Camilla herself seems more comfortable writing these chapters.

The other chapters such as ‘Social Media’ or ‘A Strong Woman?’ which appear later in the book feel a bit like a broken record, with Camilla striving to make an observation or judgment without being clear on that specific observation or judgement. The points she makes she then seems to dilute or tangent. Though the kernel of the idea is strong, these chapters lose their impact in this murkiness. There are also a myriad of spelling mistakes or missed words towards the end of the chapters that make me think this was rushed to print at deadline. It feels like this book was just rounding up pre-COVID and someone somewhere yelled the mental health buzzword an a chapter needed to be added or expanded on to reflect this. Either way this to me, is unacceptable.

Camilla is clearly intelligent and well spoken along with being totally adept to write this book. This is especially clear from the first few chapters, the best written and the best of the book for me. Sadly the latter chapters that become more speculative start to devalue their predecessors. The editorial mishaps are so glaring that sentences don’t make sense in some parts, this can’t be forgiven for me. I wish more time had been taken to really enhance the final chapters of the book. I believe Camilla has important points to convey and an audience willing to listen.

[Doris Books · Rating 5 out of 5]

Why oh why didn’t this book exist when I was in my early 20’s (now in my late 30’sj

This is not a celebrity memoir of their time on a popular tv show. It is a well written educational book written by a young woman who has done the work some of us only wish we brave enough to and seen things the rest of us are glad we don’t have to.

Camilla talks about her work a Explosive ordnance disposal expert in some of the most difficult areas in the world with really compassion and drive. You can tell just by the way she has written the book she is an old head or young shoulders and is clearly passionate about what she does.

Hailing from Scotland originally, she is definitely not the posh girl, with a rich family that maybe we all preconceived her to be as a result of her accent. She is a strong, quiet, highly educated woman.

She doesn’t just talk about her work, of course she talks about Love Island and despite being a big fan of the show I found myself hurrying through that chapter to get back to ready more about non celebrity Camilla. (Good luck to her and Jamie on the upcoming birth of their baby though,) she talks about her lack of confidence and self esteem and always feeling like the outsider in her late teens and early 20’s.

This book is definitely worth a read, for anyone who feels their own flaws in any way. Camilla discuss how she deals with those moments of self doubt and her flaws and I think if I’d of had this book to read when I felt at my lowest due to bullies etc, then I may of handled things.

Camilla is an Activist, She is also extremely passionate about what she does. Definitely inspirational and a woman I wish I had the courage to be!

[Anne · Rating 3 out of 5]

I admire Camilla. Like most readers of her book, I first saw her on Love Island and instantly became a fan. There was so much in this memoir that I could relate to, which was sad in a way, because Camilla can be so self-effacing and puts the weight of the world on her shoulders. It was fascinating to read about her humanitarian work and I learned a lot, though some of the chapters got a bit in the weeds.

I think this memoir needed a better literary team and definitely a stronger editor - both to catch for grammatical errors and to provide a better flow and to cut back on some repetitive or rambling thoughts. I also think that Camilla held herself back when it came to the Love Island section. Of course she is “not the type” to gossip about any of her fellow contestants, so I wasn’t surprised that there wasn’t any of that type of content and it was interesting to read some behind the curtain type of details, but she really didn’t speak too deeply on her feelings regarding much of it or anything that happened, her time there really did seem skirted over.

She mentions toward the end of the book that she’s finally seeking professional help, I hope this has benefited her and that’s she’s less anxious and self critical. Overall, those traits of hers are what I find most relatable and there were many sage passages and phrases I found myself highlighting.

[Christa · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book so much. Camilla Thurlow was in season 3 of Love Island UK and she was so different from anyone who's ever been on it. I adored her. And then discovered she wrote a book! The L. I. chapter isn't very long and she talks about a lot of other stuff in that chapter, in case you're worried it's just a Love Island Memoir or something. It is not. Some people are disappointed by that and truth be told, I do wish she'd expanded more on her journey in the Villa, but I completely understand why she didn't.

Some people also don't like her "essays," but that's part of why I loved the book and, indeed, one of the reasons I wanted to read it.

This book really spoke to me as a woman with anxiety and depression and ADD who isn't as self-confident as she once was. I have a lot in common with Ms. Thurlow and I hope we both learn to accept and champion ourselves a bit more.

Highly recommend, whether you like Love Island or not.

PS. I usually listen at 1.5x speed, but I slowed her down to normal speed because she has such a calm, relaxing voice. Good for anxiety. Ironic, since she has major anxiety. 😬

[Laura Elizabeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

Listened to this via Audible...really enjoyed Camilla's reading.

Overall I really loved this book and would give 4.5 stars if that were an option. It's a great memoir of life as a demining operative and Camilla's work on humanitarian projects. It's clear that she was passionate about this work and the countries that became her home.

More than this though, Camilla's book is also a fascinating commentary on social media, mental health and learning to find out who you really are.

[Olivia · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5

Camilla is incredibly admirable and wise; I have so much respect for her having read this. She is so much deeper than the ‘Love Island’ brand and truly a role model for women navigating their 20s. I really appreciated her honesty and candidness, which I have since seen labelled as ‘self-deprecating’ in other reviews, I found it brave, honest and relatable (even while her experiences may not be). Not at all cringeworthy or egotistical, which I often fear from this style of content.

A selfish part of me really wishes she delved deeper into her personal relationships with her family, friends and, of course, Jamie. But at the same time I respect that it was truly a reflection of her own life, views and experiences.

The editing is sadly very questionable, which makes for an odd pace. Jarring divide between personal memoir and essay-style commentary which just doesn’t blend well. The chapters are also varying lengths and, as a personal preference, some too long with a lot of technical jargon.

As a 20-something woman I am grateful to have read. Elements of a ‘self-help’ empowering read, but not in the trivial/cringeworthy/condescending sense I often find in the way women address other (younger) women. Despite being so young, Camilla has so much life experience and such a wise perspective on the world, all while acknowledging her privilege. Said wise perspective challenges your own and really encourages growth. Humbling that ‘celebrities’ feel all the same human emotions, despite all the superficial differences we truly are all in the same boat.

[Siobhan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really loved Camilla and all that she presented in Love Island but I've been in awe of all of her charity and humanitarian work since she left the villa and so ordering this book was a no-brainer.

It definitely wasn't what I expected (albeit a break down of each section of her life) but was in fact so much more.

The raw emotion she presents throughout this book is nothing short of inspirational, even if she may not see this herself. The openness was emotional and actually really relatable even when some of her situations may not be - working in demining for example. Her experiences and stances of and on societal issues and her gripes with them really made my perception of the world twist and turn but for the better. It's empowering to know that even famous people have feelings of displacement, anxiety, self-deprecation etc but they have become a learning tool of which to question, probe, challenge and grow.

I read a review on here that said they wished some of the self-deprecation would be edited out but it angered me that clearly they'd missed the point. The self-deprecation is a spine for some of Camilla's greatest achievements, reflection and actually her connection with her real and imperfect audiences and part of her message.

This book really was an eye opener and I intend to pass it on to other people (all genders and binaries) to hopefully have their eyes opened too.

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and Bonnier Books for granting my request to read Not The Type. All views and opinions shared here are my own.

I honestly wasn't sure going into this what I was going to think of it and so ended up being very pleasantly surprised. I took to Camilla when watching her on Love Island and so was just intrigued to see what Camilla would write about.

I found Camilla's writing to be very engaging and she covers a range of topics including sexism, racism, the white saviour privilege, and mental health issues. It was so interesting to learn about Camilla's background but also her own experiences with anxiety and OCD. I feel that Camilla managed to balance well her auto-biographical content with facts and news. I will say I found the earliest chapters were the ones I found the most interesting compared to the later chapters on Social Media which, whilst interesting, didn't have as much focus on Camilla and her experiences herself.

I think Camilla manages to acknowledge her experiences well whilst also recognising the privileged background that she comes from; it never came across as patronising and I feel she balanced this well.

Definitely one i'm going to want to add to my shelves!

[Becs · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a really engaging and interesting account of Camilla Thurlow's time with HALO, some of her time in Love Island, but mostly her views on some important political agendas and events which shaped who she chooses to be as a person. And, perhaps, who we might like to be a little more like if we were honest.

I really enjoyed Camilla's discussion around societal pressures, social media and her honest explanation of her own personality traits which are sometimes coping mechanisms for uncomfortable situations. It just brilliantly showcases what it means to be an introvert, a little bit socially awkward and most of all to accept that we are what we are. I came away from the book really liking Camilla.

The story is interesting, largely because I know very little about Halo, but also because it considered some of the changes that needed to happen to allow women to fit in to that landscape. It seemed as though Camilla was at the very start of that process unfolding, which was nice to witness.

Hats off to her for being unapologetically herself, level in her arguments and most importantly for allowing introverts to have a bit of a say too.

The audiobook was great - she narrates it herself and does a great job.

[Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

I guess you can tell I love this as I listened to it all in two days!
I was a fan of Camilla on Love Island and was pretty excited to read her memoir. It covers her experience working in landmine disposal, other aid/charity work, feminism, metal health issues, and of course - Love Island. I really liked that Camilla discussed the sexism and colonialism issues within aid work and reflected on how the sector can do as much harm as good.
I thought this memoir was really engaging, intelligent, and particularly good as an audiobook is read by the author and as she has a really easy-to-listen-to speaking voice.
Overall, a really great read and highly recommend if you like memoirs. I just would have loved a bit more Love Island gossip!

[Gwen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had taken to distracting myself during lockdown with back seasons of UK's Love Island. Among the Season 3 cast, I was intrigued to see a woman who was not a model or full-time social media influencer. Camilla introduces herself as a humanitarian worker in post-conflict areas, in the field of Explosive Ordnance Disposal. In short, Camilla Thurlow is a treasure. I came to admire and respect her on screen, and learning more about her humanitarian work on the page, feel even more so now. Part memoir, part essays, she presents thoughtful, measured opinions on equality, sexism, white saviourism in humanitarian work, and the pressures we put on ourselves for perfection and fitting a certain mold. Camilla herself is 5 stars in my book.

[Christelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Insightful and relatable. I really enjoyed listening to the audiobook, it is 4am and I have no regrets spending the night listening to Camilla's account of her time pre and post Island.

The first few chapters were really compelling with her telling about her life as a humanitarian worker, her disconnect with her friends & family and the PTSD/survivor guilt she has been suffering.

I appreciated the fact she tackles white savior problems, privileges from being born in the UK and white feminism. I could also 100% relate to her relationship with social media, criticism and anxiety.

I started the book wondering how she ended up in Love Island (she was not the reality TV type). Now I am thinking you do not have to fit to belong somewhere.

[Milli · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5

I'm going to start reviewing books purely because I don't want Camilla to ever see this and think I didn't like her book.

I loved reading about her experiences at the HALO trust, working in humanitarian fields, and how she found it difficult to reconcile the terrible things she saw working abroad with living a life of comfort at home.
She speaks openly and honestly, and you can tell that she has really reflected critically and kindly on her feelings and actions, past and present.
It's not a higher rating because it felt disjointed at times. There are some paragraphs where the tense changes between sentences, and I didn't think her writing style was fully formed yet. I would love to read future books by her, and see how that style grows.

[Kirsty · Rating 5 out of 5]

I didn’t watch the series of Love Island that Camilla starred in, however having watched the most recent series and been genuinely disheartened by the treatment of women and misogyny in the villa this year, I did think back to clips I watched back in 2017 of Camilla’s discussion of feminism whilst there. I didn’t know much of Camilla’s life story or Love Island experience but this autobiography is genuinely impressive. Camilla is articulate and intelligent and has lived an incredible life which I have so much admiration for. I do believe, having watched the past four years of Love Island, that it is becoming regressive in its views of women - notably through the male cast members it hires. I’d love to see more personalities like Camilla going forward.

[Carys · Rating 3 out of 5]

I can see a lot of my friends in Camilla, especially struggling with anxiety and the way that presents. I can certainly see why Camilla wanted to write this book and hope it is useful for people that experience similar fears and anxieties as Camilla describes. Overall, I felt it generally glosses over her experiences with that, with so much focus on her demining work with HALO, which while interesting only lasted a few years, otherwise her life experience seems to be in flits and starts. I would recommend the book to friends similar to Camilla, which I imagine is why Camilla wrote the book, but just wasn't overall for me!

[Hannah · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is so much more than a celebrity autobiography, this is an educational book. Camilla, who worked as an ordanance disposal expert in war torn countries prior to Love Island, talks about her work with passion and drive. She uses her experience to highlight the needs of others and bring awareness to people’s suffering. Camilla discusses the refugee crisis, feminism, mental health, social media and other such themes throughout her autobiography. These sections are written in such a way that express her opinions but use facts and references so to not impose her opinion onto people.

I’ve seen a few reviews saying Camilla doesn’t talk about love island enough and that she’s too self deprecating throughout her book. Personally I think this is an incorrect judgement of what Camilla is trying to do throughout her autobiography. Her life does not revolve around her love island experience, this is a small part of her journey and she should not be defined as such.

As for the self deprecation seen through the autobiography, Camilla suffers from anxiety and OCD, she is raw and open about her struggles. Her anxiety has played a major role in the work she has done from ordanance disposal to love island to volunteering, she has used her anxiety to push herself which has led to her amazing achievements. As someone who suffers from anxiety I myself relating to Camilla throughout.

I liked Camilla on love island and I’ve followed her on social media ever since but her autobiography has given me a newfound admiration for her as a brave, compassionate, multidimensional and caring individual.

[Zoe A · Rating 3 out of 5]

Camilla was one of me favourites on Love Island and I love any sort of memoir so I was keen to read this.
The book is slightly different to hat I was expecting but in a good way. It's not your typical celebrity memoir and there are no childhood tales, its more part memoir,part self help and part factual and in parts its very educational as you get to read about her work with HALO. The book covers a range of issues touching on racism, sexism and mental health and you get to see the celebrity Camilla and the non celebrity Camilla .

All in all a good read.

Many thanks Netgalley

[Christie Bohn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Camilla’s ability to intertwine such different parts of her life into one, coherent story is nothing short of masterful. For someone who can so accurately describe the difficulty of feeling alone and out of place, she made it very easy to connect to her feelings and experiences. This is not a criticism, but for any Love Island fans out there: this is not a book about the show. She of course touches on the experience, but any discussion she offers on Love Island fits within a larger conversation; this is not a reality TV exposé.