Family Man

by Elinor Lipman

Elinor Lipman's trenchant and witty novel about a father and daughter reunited. A hysterical phone call from his ex-wife and a familiar face in a photograph upend Henry Archer's life. Henry is a lawyer, an old-fashioned man, gay, successful, and lonely. Thalia, his stepdaughter from a misbegotten marriage, is now twenty-nine, an actress, hopeful and estranged from her newly widowed crackpot mother. Hoping it will lead to better things for her career, Thalia poses as the girlfriend of a former sitcom star and current horror-movie luminary who is down on his romantic luck. When Thalia and her complicated social life move into the basement of Henry’s Upper West Side townhouse, she finds a champion in her long-lost father, and he finds new life—and maybe even new love—in the commotion.

Genres: Fiction, Humor, Contemporary, Audiobook, Chick Lit, Adult Fiction, Family

305 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2009

About the author

I love talking with readers - for 1:1s and Book Club visits, find me on Skolay: www.skolay.com/writers/elinor-lipman

Elinor Lipman is the author of 14 humorous novels about contemporary American society; essay and short story collections. Born and raised in Lowell, MA, she divides her time between Manhattan and the Hudson Valley of New York. She received the New England Book award for fiction in 2001. Her first novel, "Then She Found Me," was adapted for the screen, starring Helen Hunt, Bette Midler, Colin Firth and Matthew Broderick. Her fourth novel, "The Inn at Lake Devine" was adapted for the off-off Broadway stage by Tongue in Cheek Theater. In 2011-2012, she held the Elizabeth Drew chair in creative writing at Smith College. Her novel, “Ms. Demeanor," was a finalist for the 2023 Thurber Prize for American Humor. In 2021, her hometown Library, Pollard Memorial Library in Lowell, established The Elinor Lipman Prize, awarded annually to Lowell residents and students at Lowell universities.

Reviews

[☮Karen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Right before listening to this, I finished Elinor Lipman's latest, On Turpentine Lane and knew that I needed to read more books by her. Thanks to a recommendation by my GR friend Debbie, I immediately found The Family Man on audio, and I think it's even better than Turpentine Lane. (Ironically, turpentine gets a mention in this book too -- the paint remover, not the road).

This is intelligent, progressive, and very, very funny. We have Henry Asher, a retired lawyer, divorced gay man, whose heart is big but in need of fulfillment. Then he comes across his long-lost stepdaughter Thalia, who moves in with him at the same time she embarks on a deal to pretend to be the girlfriend of a struggling actor. Henry also finds a love interest of his own, and as the cast of wonderful characters grows, they grow on you.

I think I'm on a quest to read everything Lipman had a hand in.

[Michele Lainof · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'd fallen in love with two of Elinor Lipman's books, The Inn at Lake Devine and Isabel's Bed, and read as many of her others as I could find, following those. I was a bit disappointed in the last two I'd read , My Latest Grievance and The Pursuit of Alice Thrift, so I was a bit hesitant to read The Family Man. I actually stayed up half the night reading because I was so drawn into the story and the characters. I loved the relationship development, especially between Thalia and Henry. One of the things I love most about Elinor Lipman's writing, is that there's always a sense of familiarity with her characters - they remind me of my own family and friends - I felt like these were real people being written about, fully fleshed out characters. I highly recommend starting this book early enough in the evening, that if you have to go to work the next day, you'll be able to get to bed on time. I finished it in just one evening - fast paced and engaging. The last time I did that was reading The Wife by Meg Wolitzer, which I also recommend.

[Sara · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book plodded along, going nowhere, mainly fueled by dialogue from characters I didn't care about, and I had to put it down before even making it halfway through. It wasn't horrendous or completely unreadable, but it's also not a book worth reading or finishing.

Henry's a middle-aged gay man whose ex-wife calls him hysterically one day because her new husband has died without naming her the primary beneficiary of his estate. Meanwhile, Henry recognizes his ex-wife's daughter (Henry's ex-stepdaughter from about 25 years ago) Thalia from a salon he frequents and soon has reestablished a relationship with her, recognizing that he wasn't really around for any of the "hard" parts of raising her, and he becomes Thalia's new confidant as she tries to further her acting career.

The entire plot was a mess. It seemed like the author didn't know where to take the plot or care about the pacing because the majority of the book was conversations between Henry and either his ex-wife or his ex-stepdaughter. I think it was trying for light and fluffy - traits that I don't mind in books; sometimes I even seek out light and fluffy books! However, this particular book was just dumb. None of the characters were particularly likable or believable, and it didn't make for a good farce either (if that was indeed the intent; I have no clue). Henry constantly bemoans the fact that he didn't "fight harder" to stay in Thalia's life, even whining to her about this, despite the fact that he was married to her mom for a very brief time when she was a toddler and she was then adopted by her mom's new husband. Thalia doesn't seem to care one way or the other, and Henry continually marveled about how she was so well-adjusted. I couldn't conjure up any sympathy for any of the characters and started skimming when I realized that I just didn't care.

[Carolyn F. · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a very good, happy book. Just loved it. I had read another book by this author and thought I'd start working through her other works. So glad I did.

It reads current but then you get the MySpace reference and the father saying gay older men don't text. That had me immediately looking up the publication date. Wonderful book.

[Walford · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love Elinor Lipman! I forgot, and only picked this up because the protagonist/narrator is a gay man. But the wit! Dry, wry, and droll. So few have such a light and affectionate touch. I also enjoy feeling like a well-heeled Manhattanite, and Lipman makes you feel included in that world: the top of the heap at the center of the world.

[Trio · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh my gosh, what a treat! Elinor Lipman's The Family Man is so great, it makes me want to go back to all my five star reviews and lower them by a half star to really do this one justice!

Clever, funny, witty, and wholly unique - I can't even begin to express how much I enjoyed The Family Man. What interesting characters, and unusual relationships. Plus (as a New Yorker) I'm always entertained by books set in my City. And Elinor Lipman completely captures the vibe of this time period.

George Newbern delivers a flawless performance in the audio version of The Family Man. I really like his narratorial style, and it lends itself so well to the tone of this story.

an audiobook copy of The Family Man was provided by Dreamscape Media, via NetGalley, for the purpose of my honest review, all opinions are my own

[Aeisele · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is the fourth Lipman novel I've read, so I think I can almost make a judgment on her writing. Long and short: she's excellent at dialogue and awkward characters (like Denise in this, Alice in the Pursuit of Alice Thrift, Bernice in "Then She Found Me," and Laura Lee in "My Latest Grievance"), but most of her characters are thin and unbelievable.

Her novels are billed as "screwball comedies," I'm assuming alluding to Cary Grant or Rosiland Russell films, or something like that. But Lipman gives away the tension so quickly, I do not find her funny at all. In this novel, Denise - who is really the centerpiece of the comedy, since she brings the most tension in - is absent much of the novel. Henry finds love so quickly, it's impossible to tell what the purpose of that relationship is. And Thalia - she is too perfect. We even find out she's not really promiscuous, which seemed to be about the most wrong she could do (really? The daughter of the demented Denise is that perfect without an outside influence?).

In any case, My Latest Grievance and the Pursuit of Alice Thrift are really worth reading. But not this.

[Margaret Schoen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good, but...I kept thinking there was going to be more, I don't know plot? Which sounds strange, because a lot of stuff happens in this book (Man sends condolence card to his ex-wife, who is recently widowed, is reunited with his long-lost daughter, and finds a new love) but it all seemed very passive somehow. Like the plot was just sort of flowing by while Lipman made wry comments about it, insetad of being actively engaged in what was going on.

[Penny · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is the perfect example of the type of book I would NEVER have finished if I didn't have a neurotic sense of duty to do so once I start a book. Needless to say, I did not like much about this book. My biggest complaint is that there really is absolutely no story. If I want a small "slice of life" story, I'll watch the home and garden channel. Ugh!

[Helen Dunn · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm not sure how this book found its way into my kindle but I'm glad it did! The easiest way to describe this for me is a romantic comedy movie in book form.

Fast paced, sweet, funny, sappy. All the best things with just enough plot to keeps things chugging along.

Perfect easy reading. I'll pick up more of her books for sure.

[Tara · Rating 4 out of 5]

Elinor Lipman's "The Family Man," set in contemporary Manhattan, is a witty celebration of engaging dialogue and the triumph of love. Wordy characters abound in this fast-paced domestic farce: Henry Archer, a successful, recently retired gay attorney; Denise, his histrionic ex-wife from the distant past; Todd, a middle aged sales clerk with his eye on Henry; Thalia, an aspiring actress who seeks to reunite with her stepfather Henry after twenty years of estrangement -- all of these characters are bubbling over with something to say, and the result is a light yet gratifying verbal soufflé reminiscent of Grant/Hepburn screwball comedies of the 30's and 40's.
Denise's Xanax-induced "eulogy" of her deceased husband (third one and counting) is almost as entertaining as her verbal overtures to her new soul mate, Albert Einstein, a greyhound rescued from the racing circuit and formerly named "Kill Bill." Todd's "coming out" interchange with his house-coated Brooklynese mother is priceless. The story is saturated with New York references both real (Zabar's, the Number 7 Line, a haute restaurant named "Per Se") and imagined which reinforce the urbane nature of the wordplay. Lipman's novel may fall on the light side of the literary scale, but that doesn't make it any less rewarding on a long summer afternoon.

[Janet · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've been in a reading funk lately. Haven't liked a thing I've picked up. On Saturday, I was looking through the new books on our library's shelves and since I was not recognizing many of the authors, I started just pulling them out and looking at the cover. (Who says you can't judge a book by its cover?) I liked the cover of this book and on closer inspection recognized Elinor Lipman as the author of Then She Found Me, a book that I read only because I was planning on seeing the movie once it came out (think: Colin Firth!). I enjoyed the book (and movie) and thought I'd give this one a try as well. It's been a very long time that I've read a book in less than a day but this one held my interest and went so quick that I was shocked when I realized halfway through at how much I had read. I ended up thoroughly enjoying this book and was actually a bit sad when it was over. I really wanted to know so much more about what happened with this amazing cast of characters.

[Debbie · Rating 4 out of 5]

A fun book. A light but sophisticated read and one that I didn't want to put down. Lipman has the best dialogue, plus interesting characters. I read another of her books, "Isabel's Bed", years ago and loved it. Glad to see that Lipman isn't a one-shot writer. Will read more from her for sure.

[John · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book and it was a nice break from stories with heart shattering situations. It’s not that there were no conflicts but there wasn’t anything upsetting which was perfect for the current world situation. Enjoyable story, wonderful characters that I quickly grew attached to.

[Blake Fraina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Please indulge me by allowing me to write this review as if it was the delightful film I so wish it could be.

Single gay bachelor Henry Archer (George Clooney – channeling a mix of legal eagle Michael Clayton and the hapless cuckold of “The Descendants”) is embarking on a quiet retirement from his law career when he receives a desperate phone call from his self-absorbed ex-wife Denise (Patti Lupone – chewing the scenery) asking for legal advice. You see, before Henry came out to himself and the world, he was a happily married man and a loving stepfather to Denise’s four year old daughter, Thalia. It seems the sons of Denise’s late third husband (the one she dumped Henry for) are trying to squeeze her out of his will because their marriage didn’t last past the 25 year pre-nup. Even though Henry is still bitter that she cheated on him and took away custody of Thalia, she’s extremely needy and exceptionally nervy, so he agrees to help her out.

Reconnecting with Denise ultimately leads Henry back to Thalia (unfiltered screwball Jennifer Lawrence), now a 20-something struggling actress whom he invites to move into the basement apartment in his brownstone. To further her career, and against Henry’s advice, Thalia agrees to pose as the girlfriend of a 40 year-old horror film star (Lukas Haas, equal parts weirdo and wounded puppy) whose PR people believe engagement to an attractive young starlet will change his public image and help him achieve mainstream success. While Henry is thrilled to have Thalia back in his life, both she and Denise turn his ordered existence into a constant state of pandemonium. Adding to all this, Denise fixes him up with Todd Weinreb (menschy Mark Feuerstein) who dives headlong, and with unbridled enthusiasm, into both Thalia’s PR drama and Henry’s heart.

I enjoyed this story way more than I expected to. The characterizations were so vivid and everyone, even the obnoxious Denise, was so loveable and fun. The plot moves in a few unexpected directions and is never a downer. The entire thing sparkles like champagne. I honestly wish this could be made into the movie I imagined. Hopefully some producer is reading it right now.

And if J-Law isn’t available for Thalia, they could always cast one of Clooney’s previous co-stars like Anna Kendrick or Shailene Woodley.

Read this.

[John · Rating 1 out of 5]

I don't believe in leaving a review of books I didn't finish, but this one's an exception.
Initially, we meet Henry's ex-wife, whom he hasn't heard from in 25 years, bitching about her long-ago pre-nup being enforced by her stepson: she was to get everything should her third husband (Henry was second) die after their 25th anniversary; he only made it to #24. So, she's now reduced to "penury" as a result (an allowance that would still put her in the top 1% or so of U. S. households). Ugh!
Henry realizes he knows Thalia, her daughter from husband #1 (his step-daughter) as an adult; he can't tell mommy, because she and the daughter are feuding. Henry moans to the reader how he married mommy for "an instant family", and "didn't fight hard enough" for custody of Thalia.
He meets 29 year old Thalia for lunch, where they reminisce about "old times" (she was roughly 7 the last time they met). He again moans about "not trying hard enough". At that point, I realized that I had tried enough to force myself to go on, so I stopped.
I don't mind "chick lit"; I liked "Bridget Jones' Diary"! These cartoon stereotypes of characters were just too much. Henry came across as either having an incredibly empty life (though he's described as successful, rich and handsome), or being incredibly possessive in terms of "getting Thalia back" like ... well ... a possession! He was her stepfather from ages 3 - 7, her mother left him to marry a straight guy, who wanted to adopt Thalia. What claim exactly did that give Henry to "fight harder"? The kid wasn't being abused!

I really want my Audible credit back!

[Trin · Rating 1 out of 5]

Really disappointing. Lipman’s The Inn at Lake Devine is possibly my favorite “chick lit” novel ever—it’s witty and charming and romantic and actually about something. The Family Man, in contrast, is a big messy nothing. When it first came out I heard people praise Lipman for—gasp!—writing from the perspective of a gay man, which, um. Whoopdedo? The plot she sticks him with, however, is ludicrous, and the whole book is all tell and no show. I didn’t like anybody, I wasn’t amused, and the supposedly romantic ending (which does not involve the romantic prospects of the gay protagonist, FYI, but rather of his straight daughter) struck me as appallingly unpleasant. What the hell happened?

[Karen · Rating 1 out of 5]

I hated this book. There were no likable characters. The structure of the book was weird. There were no breaks when there should have been breaks. Conversations would jump around.

This book was a rec from Goodreads because I read This Is Where I Leave You. This book is nothing like that at all. It's not funny. It's not heartwarming. It's not endearing. It's just rubbish.

[Cookie M. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Elinor Lipman delights me again with the story of Henry Archer, the not so typical Family Man in a not so typical Family. It is also an example of the case of a group of somewhat dysfunctional people getting together and forming a functional family.I
All the characters have their moments, good and bad, and all find resolution in the end.
What more could one want?

[Jennifer Doyle · Rating 1 out of 5]

I loved Henry. He was a great character. Todd was pretty great too. A story about them would have been fabulous, minus most every other nonsense character. Just a really dumb premise that I'm annoyed I wasted precious reading time on.

[Jami Collier · Rating 3 out of 5]

more of a 3.5

[Judy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was my first Elinor Lipman novel but it sure won't be the last. This novel is funny, bright, light, intelligent, and also touching, all in under 300 pages!
Henry Arhcer is the gay ex-husband of an exasperating woman named Denise, who has just lost hubby #3 to a heart attack. Henry sends a condolence note, which Denise latches on to as a way to get Henry back into her life as a pal and as a lawyer, since Denise's two stepsons have been left her husband's entire massive estate.

The story also involves Henry's determination to build his relationship with Thalia, Denise's 29-year-old daughter from hubby #1 (the one before Henry). Henry had adopted her as a baby but later gave up rights to her when Denise married hubby #2. Since mother and daughter are not speaking, this gives Henry has a great opening.

Henry becomes "The Family Man" in this book not only because of his new and growing relationship with Thalia, but also because despite his best efforts, he ends up trying to help his unsympathetic yet also oddly sympathetic ex-wife in her legal battle to keep her Fifth Avenue mansion digs. Both Henry and Thalia develop love interests, which keeps the dynamics of the "family" moving at an entertaining clip.
The characters are likable (except for Denise, but she is funny, which makes up for it) and the plot is both funny yet plausible.

[Harry Wingfield · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think I have a new favorite author. Based on my enjoyment of Lipman's The Inn at Lake Divine, I tried The Family Man. Normally when I say I couldn't put a book down, it's because of a compelling plot. With The Family Man, it was because I loved the characters so much. Lipman's quirky yet believable characters bring to mind characters Anne Tyler might have created, if lived in New York instead of Baltimore. Lipman's organization of the narrative reminded me a bit of Anita Shreve. I was pleased to see Ms. Shreve mentioned in the credits of The Family Man. I look forward to reading more from Elinor Lipman.

[Diane · Rating 2 out of 5]

I enjoyed Ms. Lipman's book, "The Pursuit of Alice Thrift," but was very disappointed in this one. Maybe I just wasn't in the right mood but I found it very poorly written. The concept for the book is a good one - divorced father who has made peace with his homosexuality develops relationship with his long-lost, adopted daughter...it is supposed to be a comedy and could have been hilarious, but the dialogue and plot struck me as forced, whereas "Alice," despite being predictable, was quite believable and truly funny.

[Judy Mann · Rating 2 out of 5]

I get so frustrated with books like this BECAUSE the author is a good writer-but then explain to me- why does she write such pap? Such frivolous nothing?
If someone can write you'd think they would write something worth reading.She has everyone's attention- this being her fourth book - people have noticed her-so hell go for broke- cut loose-write a book- not this sugary drivel.
I wanted to like this book.I really did.
Nope.Nothing.Silly.Shallow. Empty.
Elinor Lipman has a brain.From now on she should really think about using it.
JM

[Lou · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really wanted to like this book, but I found it just okay. The reviews promised 'hilarious'. It was mildly amusing at times. But it jumped around too much, and at times the dialogue came out of nowhere--I had to reread conversations for fear I'd missed something. And the characters never really came to life--I'm still not sure if I even liked Henry. He seems completely passive--things happen to him--he doesn't make things happen. It made me doubt his success as a lawyer, and made it hard to care what happened to him.

[Carol Wagers · Rating 2 out of 5]

Fluffy little novel: a gay man reconnects with his estranged step-daughter who is very 'arty'. She's contemplating being a paid escort for a sleazy movie star seeking to improve his image. Dad is against it, but helps write the contract. The ex-wife is nuts, calling constantly, it's probably a good beach read book, but no real substance or important insights. Lipman can write, it's too bad she doesn't have more of import to say.

[Kyla · Rating 3 out of 5]

I loved this book for the first 10 chapters or so - so delicious and non-threatening and clipping along at a good pace. I was thrilled to find such a good non-guilty pleasure author. But then the plot went off the wheels, the character we were meant to love irked me and the ending - someone explain the ending to me, will you? Disappointing because it started so strong and light and sweet...

[Mona · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s rare that I laugh out loud so much reading a book. Hilarious! I adore her writing. So clever and witty. Kind of like Norah Efron and Woody Allen. Very New York. This my third by her and I will for sure be reading the rest!

[Kimberly · Rating 2 out of 5]

I just didn’t enjoy this book. Yes there were funny parts, and it all ends up “well”, but it just wasn’t FUN for me.