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Mieux vivre avec le TDAH à l'âge adulte: Guide pratique pour s'adapter en toutes circonstances
A central source of frustration for most adults with ADHD is that they know what they need to do but they have difficulties turning their intentions into actions. These difficulties also interfere with their ability to use self-help books and to get the most out of psychosocial treatments that provide coping strategies that promise to improve their functioning. Drs. Ramsay and Rostain are experts in the assessment and treatment of adult ADHD and are leaders in the development of effective psychosocial treatments for this group of patients. Their newest book, The Adult ADHD Tool Using CBT to Facilitate Coping Inside and Out is a coping guide for adults living with ADHD, one that does not just present useful coping strategies but also provides specific tactics designed to help readers implement these skills in their daily lives and brings them to life in a user-friendly format. The authors discuss many different settings in which ADHD may cause difficulties, including work, school, matters of physical health and well-being, and the issue of excessive use of technology. Although written for consumers, clinicians will find the book to be a clinically useful tool for their adult patients with ADHD, serving as a companion to the newly updated and expanded second edition of Drs. Ramsay and Rostain’s professional treatment manual, Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy for Adult An Integrative Psychosocial and Medical Approach .
312 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2014
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January 4, 2018
To be fair, I haven't read this from end to end yet, I've jumped around and skimmed and read various chapters, but the book does specifically tell you to do that, so here is my review so far (subject to change as more is read).
Good things:
The first few chapters do a really good job of explaining what ADHD is and the problems associated with it without making the whole book about it like other ADHD resources tend to do. It would be good to show someone if you ever need to explain your brain to someone with incomplete knowledge about the disorder. It also puts an emphasis on the problem of knowing you have to do something, but not being able to make yourself, which is one of the hardest things to address and to explain to others. The chapters I've read and skimmed do have some good suggestions. The suggestions themselves aren't particularly novel (make to-do list), but they do have tips for going about those things to make them easier. The layout of the book with the short, titled sections and summary boxes is very ADHD friendly. I can see this book working really well for some people.
Bad things:
I really appreciate what this book is trying to do, and there are some suggestions in here that I want to try to implement, but for all its emphasis on the problem of knowing you have to do something but not being able to make yourself do it, I'm not sure the solutions are workable for someone who struggles with this aspect the most. To be honest, this might not be a fault with the book because I'm not sure there is a solution to that problem when it's sufficiently severe. "Stick to the plan," "do a little bit every day," "do x things at the same time every day" are all great advice for creating good habits, but if I could do those things I wouldn't need the book. There's some good stuff about how to get started on making yourself do things, but at some point, even the advice that seems workable becomes overwhelming in the face of all the areas of life it needs to be applied to. That's probably my overall reaction to this book so far: overwhelmed.
So, the authors tell you first to start off with a daily to-do list and a planner, and to utilize them every day. The daily to-do list is for things outside your regular routine that need to be done, and the planner is for the scheduling of your routine activities (school, work, things that already have a built-in timetable attached to them) and the things on your to-do list (chores, appointments, whatever). They advise you to keep the to-do list down to five items or less to prevent you from becoming overwhelmed (makes sense to me), and to schedule time for those tasks in your planner. The problem is that if you already have pretty much no successful set routine outside of school/work, or you're just a reasonably busy person, I don't see how it's possible to only have five items on your to-do list. Can anyone really say they only have five things to get done on any given day? Not to mention, the things the book urges you to prioritize in order to be successful take up three of your five slots to begin with (bedtime routine/sleep schedule, exercise, healthy eating), so now you only have two slots, so do I pick study one subject and shower (yes, I'm someone who actually has to think of showering as a task on par with studying or taking out the trash, so that really only leaves me one slot per day/per every other day) and be unprepared for class tomorrow? Or pick two subjects to study and just use dry shampoo in the morning? Laundry or dishes are definitely out of the question for basically ever because with only two spaces on my list, those will almost never be a priority until I have nothing to eat off of and nothing to wear. But then it gets harder, because you're encouraged to break tasks that require multiple steps into a series of smaller tasks, so really you either end up with many more things on the to-do list than recommended and it becomes, you guessed it, overwhelming, or your only task for the day is getting ready for bed broken down into five steps which just isn't realistic.
In order to help combat the problems people have getting started on tasks, the book does have some really good suggestions similar to or sometimes the same as the mindfulness techniques described in Lidia Zylowska's Mindfulness Prescription for Adult ADHD (I've had it for years and only ever managed to work through part of it). Anyway, it's a lot to do with recognizing negative thoughts/emotions and other barriers to the task, accepting them, and strategies for talking yourself into doing the task anyway despite discomfort. All of those things are actually really effective, but they're also mentally taxing, so I've only found them to be effective in concentrated bursts in situations that weren't overpoweringly stressful. Applying those strategies to self-motivate for each task throughout the day though sounds like a recipe for constant mental exhaustion and failure. That's basically feeling and working to overcome discomfort all day every day, and there's a list of mental steps you have to go through before you even get to physically doing what you set out to do. I don't see how it's possible to do that constantly and maintain momentum.
I also sometimes find the tone of the book to be excessively negative. People with ADHD already tend to struggle with a shitty self-image, and some resources combat that by reminding the reader that there are also some positive aspects to having your brain work this way if they're appropriately channeled. This book takes the few positive things associated with ADHD, calls them a myth, and explains how they're actually negative attributes. I mostly took issue with their characterization of hyperfocus as a myth, and was really just a response to pressure from excessive procrastination. It can be that, it can also be a problem with task switching, but sometimes I just get really into something and can't drop it. I admit that it can often cause problems; however, I'm sometimes able to get wrapped up in something I love and do it for hours and hours and hours, and in the right situation when I have the time that's actually pretty cool. They also took issue with people being "night people," implying that it doesn't exist despite research to the contrary that shows that different people have naturally varying internal clocks, and some people's are set later than others. In any event, insisting that people force themselves into an earlier sleep schedule they aren't comfortable with (and suggesting they might get cancer if they don't) if it's not necessary for school or work seems like a pointless hill to die on to me. Most of us have bigger fish to fry, and in the grand scheme of carcinogens most people are exposed to throughout their lives, I'm willing to bet the risk posed by being a night owl is minimal. There was also a lot of emphasis on negative statistics. I was helpfully reminded that people with ADHD are statistically less successful in life, worse drivers than drunk drivers when unmedicated, more likely to have relationship issues, and more likely to lead lifestyles that put us at risk for heart disease, cancer, and STI's. I'm not saying these aren't facts, or even that they shouldn't be stated, but I feel there should be some kind of balance in tone. I'm not sure it's beneficial for a self-help book marketed to a group of people with a tendency for really low self-esteem to put quite so much emphasis on how crappy our lives are likely to be, and how even the things that are sometimes perceived as positive attributes of the condition are actually just more things that are wrong with us.
Finally, I thought their chapter on emotions was somewhat lacking despite having some good introductory info, and their attitude toward marijuana is overly negative and outdated considering that in some states it's an accepted treatment for medication side-effects, and has also been successfully used by some to treat aspects of the disorder.
Despite my issues with the book, I really can see this being an excellent tool for some people, but those whose ADHD is more severe might find themselves with some of the same problems with it I had. I'm still going to keep working through it and trying to implement what I can, and I think it has some valuable insights. Even if I only get a few things out of it, any help is better than none.
Good things:
The first few chapters do a really good job of explaining what ADHD is and the problems associated with it without making the whole book about it like other ADHD resources tend to do. It would be good to show someone if you ever need to explain your brain to someone with incomplete knowledge about the disorder. It also puts an emphasis on the problem of knowing you have to do something, but not being able to make yourself, which is one of the hardest things to address and to explain to others. The chapters I've read and skimmed do have some good suggestions. The suggestions themselves aren't particularly novel (make to-do list), but they do have tips for going about those things to make them easier. The layout of the book with the short, titled sections and summary boxes is very ADHD friendly. I can see this book working really well for some people.
Bad things:
I really appreciate what this book is trying to do, and there are some suggestions in here that I want to try to implement, but for all its emphasis on the problem of knowing you have to do something but not being able to make yourself do it, I'm not sure the solutions are workable for someone who struggles with this aspect the most. To be honest, this might not be a fault with the book because I'm not sure there is a solution to that problem when it's sufficiently severe. "Stick to the plan," "do a little bit every day," "do x things at the same time every day" are all great advice for creating good habits, but if I could do those things I wouldn't need the book. There's some good stuff about how to get started on making yourself do things, but at some point, even the advice that seems workable becomes overwhelming in the face of all the areas of life it needs to be applied to. That's probably my overall reaction to this book so far: overwhelmed.
So, the authors tell you first to start off with a daily to-do list and a planner, and to utilize them every day. The daily to-do list is for things outside your regular routine that need to be done, and the planner is for the scheduling of your routine activities (school, work, things that already have a built-in timetable attached to them) and the things on your to-do list (chores, appointments, whatever). They advise you to keep the to-do list down to five items or less to prevent you from becoming overwhelmed (makes sense to me), and to schedule time for those tasks in your planner. The problem is that if you already have pretty much no successful set routine outside of school/work, or you're just a reasonably busy person, I don't see how it's possible to only have five items on your to-do list. Can anyone really say they only have five things to get done on any given day? Not to mention, the things the book urges you to prioritize in order to be successful take up three of your five slots to begin with (bedtime routine/sleep schedule, exercise, healthy eating), so now you only have two slots, so do I pick study one subject and shower (yes, I'm someone who actually has to think of showering as a task on par with studying or taking out the trash, so that really only leaves me one slot per day/per every other day) and be unprepared for class tomorrow? Or pick two subjects to study and just use dry shampoo in the morning? Laundry or dishes are definitely out of the question for basically ever because with only two spaces on my list, those will almost never be a priority until I have nothing to eat off of and nothing to wear. But then it gets harder, because you're encouraged to break tasks that require multiple steps into a series of smaller tasks, so really you either end up with many more things on the to-do list than recommended and it becomes, you guessed it, overwhelming, or your only task for the day is getting ready for bed broken down into five steps which just isn't realistic.
In order to help combat the problems people have getting started on tasks, the book does have some really good suggestions similar to or sometimes the same as the mindfulness techniques described in Lidia Zylowska's Mindfulness Prescription for Adult ADHD (I've had it for years and only ever managed to work through part of it). Anyway, it's a lot to do with recognizing negative thoughts/emotions and other barriers to the task, accepting them, and strategies for talking yourself into doing the task anyway despite discomfort. All of those things are actually really effective, but they're also mentally taxing, so I've only found them to be effective in concentrated bursts in situations that weren't overpoweringly stressful. Applying those strategies to self-motivate for each task throughout the day though sounds like a recipe for constant mental exhaustion and failure. That's basically feeling and working to overcome discomfort all day every day, and there's a list of mental steps you have to go through before you even get to physically doing what you set out to do. I don't see how it's possible to do that constantly and maintain momentum.
I also sometimes find the tone of the book to be excessively negative. People with ADHD already tend to struggle with a shitty self-image, and some resources combat that by reminding the reader that there are also some positive aspects to having your brain work this way if they're appropriately channeled. This book takes the few positive things associated with ADHD, calls them a myth, and explains how they're actually negative attributes. I mostly took issue with their characterization of hyperfocus as a myth, and was really just a response to pressure from excessive procrastination. It can be that, it can also be a problem with task switching, but sometimes I just get really into something and can't drop it. I admit that it can often cause problems; however, I'm sometimes able to get wrapped up in something I love and do it for hours and hours and hours, and in the right situation when I have the time that's actually pretty cool. They also took issue with people being "night people," implying that it doesn't exist despite research to the contrary that shows that different people have naturally varying internal clocks, and some people's are set later than others. In any event, insisting that people force themselves into an earlier sleep schedule they aren't comfortable with (and suggesting they might get cancer if they don't) if it's not necessary for school or work seems like a pointless hill to die on to me. Most of us have bigger fish to fry, and in the grand scheme of carcinogens most people are exposed to throughout their lives, I'm willing to bet the risk posed by being a night owl is minimal. There was also a lot of emphasis on negative statistics. I was helpfully reminded that people with ADHD are statistically less successful in life, worse drivers than drunk drivers when unmedicated, more likely to have relationship issues, and more likely to lead lifestyles that put us at risk for heart disease, cancer, and STI's. I'm not saying these aren't facts, or even that they shouldn't be stated, but I feel there should be some kind of balance in tone. I'm not sure it's beneficial for a self-help book marketed to a group of people with a tendency for really low self-esteem to put quite so much emphasis on how crappy our lives are likely to be, and how even the things that are sometimes perceived as positive attributes of the condition are actually just more things that are wrong with us.
Finally, I thought their chapter on emotions was somewhat lacking despite having some good introductory info, and their attitude toward marijuana is overly negative and outdated considering that in some states it's an accepted treatment for medication side-effects, and has also been successfully used by some to treat aspects of the disorder.
Despite my issues with the book, I really can see this being an excellent tool for some people, but those whose ADHD is more severe might find themselves with some of the same problems with it I had. I'm still going to keep working through it and trying to implement what I can, and I think it has some valuable insights. Even if I only get a few things out of it, any help is better than none.
October 25, 2022
This book has been profound for me, a person with lifelong ADHD. A few previous reviews sparked this response. To quote:
Both of these things are covered, in detail. Frankly it's the only thing this book covers. Chapters 2 - 4 go over in detail how to create a realistic schedule, and strategies for setting realistic goals. 5 - 7 speak on how to be motivated and execute the plan that you have created. The rest of the book talks about strategies for dealing with external input which can make following a plan difficult.
As long as we exist in a 3d space then we're going to have to do deal with time, and there is no alternative. For ADHD adults this is especially true!!! There is no magic solution to scheduling, and if you're looking for some magical tool that fixes all your problems sorry to say that it does not exist. Put your ego aside, and dive into this book with an open mind with tempered expectations. The patterns are not easy to implement, and they do not happen over night. Changing yourself is the hardest work upon which a human being can embark.
PS
The "but I don't want to do this!" mentality is also very related to ADHD. This book really shines when you go through it alongside CBT to understand your emotions. Perhaps read some different literature on emotional health and ADHD before diving into this book, or read up on mindfulness. Season 1 of this podcast is a good way to dip your toes in the therapy water without committing to anything.
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast...
I went into this book with one question: "How do I go from nothing to working 8 hours a day?"
If you are like me and that's your question, let me save you the time. This book does not have an answer to that question. Not even close.
This book was a profound waste of my time. It took me close to a week of extreme effort to go through the hundreds of pages of boring text (I have ADHD, remember? The author sure didn't).
As someone with ADD I was looking for a way to manage having too much on my plate and setting realistic goals. Except that's not covered here. Seems like a pretty common problem among those I know who have ADHD- why is it not in here?
Both of these things are covered, in detail. Frankly it's the only thing this book covers. Chapters 2 - 4 go over in detail how to create a realistic schedule, and strategies for setting realistic goals. 5 - 7 speak on how to be motivated and execute the plan that you have created. The rest of the book talks about strategies for dealing with external input which can make following a plan difficult.
Anyway, the first third of the book is mostly about scheduling. I have no interest in making a planner, I've gone that road a dozen times in the past and it never works out.
What's the alternative? The author never gives one.
As long as we exist in a 3d space then we're going to have to do deal with time, and there is no alternative. For ADHD adults this is especially true!!! There is no magic solution to scheduling, and if you're looking for some magical tool that fixes all your problems sorry to say that it does not exist. Put your ego aside, and dive into this book with an open mind with tempered expectations. The patterns are not easy to implement, and they do not happen over night. Changing yourself is the hardest work upon which a human being can embark.
PS
The "but I don't want to do this!" mentality is also very related to ADHD. This book really shines when you go through it alongside CBT to understand your emotions. Perhaps read some different literature on emotional health and ADHD before diving into this book, or read up on mindfulness. Season 1 of this podcast is a good way to dip your toes in the therapy water without committing to anything.
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast...
July 16, 2019
3.5
This book made me cry, which I wasn't expecting. It's such a relief to have someone tell me, "Your lack of follow-through and motivation isn't a character flaw. Yes, you're still responsible for your actions, and here are some tools for improved functioning, but you aren't lazy or 'lost in your own little world.' Your brain actually functions differently than you might expect it to, and here's how to deal with that."
Ramsay and Rostain have concrete, useful suggestions for overcoming the motivational impairment that keeps ADHDers from achieving (or even starting toward) our goals. I've already put several of them into place, and they do seem to be helping my day run more smoothly and productively. Specific discussions of time estimation, buffer/commute times, and distractability risks hit home especially hard for me.
I appreciate how candidly the authors talk about there not really being a magic bullet for life management with ADHD. When they said that a twenty percent improvement in overall lifeness (not an exact quote) is considered a good result, it shifted my entire view of what to expect of myself.
And that's really the best part of this book: the CBT bits. Ramsay and Rostain spend a lot of time addressing the negative self-talk and emotions that folks with ADHD often feel, from a combination of past negative experience and external messaging from parents/teachers/bosses/partners/etc. Even if I hadn't gotten a single practical suggestion out of this book, the parts about recognizing and working through self-censuring tapes would've made it worth the time (although I found their "Defense Attorney" conceit annoying and pointless).
There were a couple things I found incredibly frustrating about the book. The most damning is that Ramsay and Rostain have apparently never met anyone with ADHD and a disability, chronic illness, or other mental health condition. Their constant insistence that "'I don't have the energy to do that' is just an excuse" and that "you don't have to think you have enough energy for the whole task, just enough to stand up," completely dismisses the everyday reality of folks who sometimes don't have the energy to stand up, or who might have the energy to stand up and start task but will absolutely run out of spoons halfway through and either have to abandon the task half-finished or "steal" from tomorrow's spoons, if they're able. I was also baffled by how many times the authors go out of their way to insist that adults with ADHD might feel anxious but that that absolutely doesn't mean they have anxiety, completely ignoring the high rate of comorbidity between adult ADHD and anxiety disorders.
My least favorite part of this book is the one that the blurbs swore set it apart: the authors' "relatable" pop culture references. Woody Allen quotes and "boat owner's rules" may be relatable to upper-class white New England baby boomers, but this middle-class white Midwestern Gen Xer felt pretty alienated by them.
So, overall, a book with some useful tools. However, if you have ADHD alongside pretty much any other major health condition, physical or mental, you might want to look for ADHD books specifically aimed at people dealing with both at once, because this book ain't it.
Two caveats before I go: 1) I don't have an ADHD diagnosis (though my therapist has been telling me for years to get assessed). I do have a diagnosis of executive function impairment comorbid with chronic anxiety, so most of the tools and strategies carry over. Plus, a library catalog search for "adult ADHD" gets me 41 results and "adult executive function" gets one, so these books are easier to find. But my feelings may be different than someone who actually has diagnosed ADHD.
2) I suspect that, like most categories of self-help book, opinions toward any particular book largely relate to how many of the same kind you've read. Since this is the first of its kind I've read, I had generally positive feelings toward it. Someone who's read a lot of ADHD books might feel that nothing in it lifts it above the pack.
This book made me cry, which I wasn't expecting. It's such a relief to have someone tell me, "Your lack of follow-through and motivation isn't a character flaw. Yes, you're still responsible for your actions, and here are some tools for improved functioning, but you aren't lazy or 'lost in your own little world.' Your brain actually functions differently than you might expect it to, and here's how to deal with that."
Ramsay and Rostain have concrete, useful suggestions for overcoming the motivational impairment that keeps ADHDers from achieving (or even starting toward) our goals. I've already put several of them into place, and they do seem to be helping my day run more smoothly and productively. Specific discussions of time estimation, buffer/commute times, and distractability risks hit home especially hard for me.
I appreciate how candidly the authors talk about there not really being a magic bullet for life management with ADHD. When they said that a twenty percent improvement in overall lifeness (not an exact quote) is considered a good result, it shifted my entire view of what to expect of myself.
And that's really the best part of this book: the CBT bits. Ramsay and Rostain spend a lot of time addressing the negative self-talk and emotions that folks with ADHD often feel, from a combination of past negative experience and external messaging from parents/teachers/bosses/partners/etc. Even if I hadn't gotten a single practical suggestion out of this book, the parts about recognizing and working through self-censuring tapes would've made it worth the time (although I found their "Defense Attorney" conceit annoying and pointless).
There were a couple things I found incredibly frustrating about the book. The most damning is that Ramsay and Rostain have apparently never met anyone with ADHD and a disability, chronic illness, or other mental health condition. Their constant insistence that "'I don't have the energy to do that' is just an excuse" and that "you don't have to think you have enough energy for the whole task, just enough to stand up," completely dismisses the everyday reality of folks who sometimes don't have the energy to stand up, or who might have the energy to stand up and start task but will absolutely run out of spoons halfway through and either have to abandon the task half-finished or "steal" from tomorrow's spoons, if they're able. I was also baffled by how many times the authors go out of their way to insist that adults with ADHD might feel anxious but that that absolutely doesn't mean they have anxiety, completely ignoring the high rate of comorbidity between adult ADHD and anxiety disorders.
My least favorite part of this book is the one that the blurbs swore set it apart: the authors' "relatable" pop culture references. Woody Allen quotes and "boat owner's rules" may be relatable to upper-class white New England baby boomers, but this middle-class white Midwestern Gen Xer felt pretty alienated by them.
So, overall, a book with some useful tools. However, if you have ADHD alongside pretty much any other major health condition, physical or mental, you might want to look for ADHD books specifically aimed at people dealing with both at once, because this book ain't it.
Two caveats before I go: 1) I don't have an ADHD diagnosis (though my therapist has been telling me for years to get assessed). I do have a diagnosis of executive function impairment comorbid with chronic anxiety, so most of the tools and strategies carry over. Plus, a library catalog search for "adult ADHD" gets me 41 results and "adult executive function" gets one, so these books are easier to find. But my feelings may be different than someone who actually has diagnosed ADHD.
2) I suspect that, like most categories of self-help book, opinions toward any particular book largely relate to how many of the same kind you've read. Since this is the first of its kind I've read, I had generally positive feelings toward it. Someone who's read a lot of ADHD books might feel that nothing in it lifts it above the pack.
December 20, 2018
As someone with ADD I was looking for a way to manage having too much on my plate and setting realistic goals. Except that's not covered here. Seems like a pretty common problem among those I know who have ADHD- why is it not in here? Short answer- this book was obviously (and the authors confirm) written by someone who does not ADHD. It's the same kind of generally useless advice I get from one of my best friends who is very together and doesn't have ADHD. What works for her doesn't work for me a lot of the time because we are motivated differently and driven by different things.
This book is dry and speaks from a basic brain perspective. It is like an overly organized, well-meaning school teacher wrote it to help one of her students. It might be good for those who are freshly diagnosed if taken with a grain of salt and used with books by Hallowell/the How to ADHD youtube videos. But honestly these people tell you to use a paper planner or worse TWO planners. Girl, bye. Bottom line: if this book works for you, great. But if you have trouble following their plan, don't feel bad- it's not you, try another book written by someone who actually lives what you do.
This book is dry and speaks from a basic brain perspective. It is like an overly organized, well-meaning school teacher wrote it to help one of her students. It might be good for those who are freshly diagnosed if taken with a grain of salt and used with books by Hallowell/the How to ADHD youtube videos. But honestly these people tell you to use a paper planner or worse TWO planners. Girl, bye. Bottom line: if this book works for you, great. But if you have trouble following their plan, don't feel bad- it's not you, try another book written by someone who actually lives what you do.
August 14, 2021
I went into this book with one question: "How do I go from nothing to working 8 hours a day?"
If you are like me and that's your question, let me save you the time. This book does not have an answer to that question. Not even close.
This book was a profound waste of my time. It took me close to a week of extreme effort to go through the hundreds of pages of boring text (I have ADHD, remember? The author sure didn't).
In that time, I found myself arguing with almost every single statement made by the author.
"It gets easier after you start" No, it doesn't.
"Just focus on doing 1 hour of work a day" In what universe am I going to get a job working 1 hour a day?
"You will end up feeling better and more energized after exercise" Has the author ever exercised in his life?
Anyway, the first third of the book is mostly about scheduling. I have no interest in making a planner, I've gone that road a dozen times in the past and it never works out.
What's the alternative? The author never gives one.
The rest of the book shows a us-centric, medicated point of view that is completely out of touch with reality. One example of ADHD difficulties that broke me was the story of John, who is occasionally 5minutes late to work. That's it, that's the whole problem.
Here I am unemployed, unable to get medication, on the verge of suicide. And the author thinks ADHD means being 5min late to work.
Anyway, that should give you an idea of what this book is about. If I could, I would rate it lower. A colossal waste of my time and a slap in my face.
If you are like me and that's your question, let me save you the time. This book does not have an answer to that question. Not even close.
This book was a profound waste of my time. It took me close to a week of extreme effort to go through the hundreds of pages of boring text (I have ADHD, remember? The author sure didn't).
In that time, I found myself arguing with almost every single statement made by the author.
"It gets easier after you start" No, it doesn't.
"Just focus on doing 1 hour of work a day" In what universe am I going to get a job working 1 hour a day?
"You will end up feeling better and more energized after exercise" Has the author ever exercised in his life?
Anyway, the first third of the book is mostly about scheduling. I have no interest in making a planner, I've gone that road a dozen times in the past and it never works out.
What's the alternative? The author never gives one.
The rest of the book shows a us-centric, medicated point of view that is completely out of touch with reality. One example of ADHD difficulties that broke me was the story of John, who is occasionally 5minutes late to work. That's it, that's the whole problem.
Here I am unemployed, unable to get medication, on the verge of suicide. And the author thinks ADHD means being 5min late to work.
Anyway, that should give you an idea of what this book is about. If I could, I would rate it lower. A colossal waste of my time and a slap in my face.
February 25, 2017
"ADHD isn't a knowledge deficit" there's not any new info in this book. Nothing I haven't read in many other books but they break things down step by step which is a good reminder for me since I forget everything immediately (the ADHD thing). I forget what I was saying but the book is good and helpful (I got it used on Amazon for like $20 which is kinda expensive but also the first ADHD book I've found with techniques I think. Maybe I'm just forgetting. Who knows)
March 11, 2017
If I save my life, this book will be one of the reasons.
January 11, 2026
i wish i had taken notes during this reading and will certainly look for a hard copy i can reference throughout the rest of my life. the fact that the central conceit of this guide is that oftentimes, people with adhd "know what they should do, they just can't do it" made this resonate so deeply. i don't know why i can't integrate a lot of the sound advice in other self-help or psychology books, and this was the first to acknowledge that fact. it makes a valiant attempt at accounting for multiple scenarios of a person's life, which i appreciated, and there were tips i'd never heard before.
Read
November 19, 2021Boring,repetitive,extremely mechanical and often depressing advice for the greater part of the book.Cathartic and illuminating in the later sections.Skipped some parts.Extreme mindfull awareness,both of one's external surroundings as well as that of one's own inner thought patterns precedes every other platitudinal advice laid out in the book.Depends on the reader and the severity of the disorder,really.
April 11, 2017
I cannot say anything except: Bravo!
January 8, 2026
Honestamente este libro me ayudó un buen a agarrar la onda del TDAH sin verlo como una batalla, es un libro que confronta pero de una forma muy compasiva, constantemente te refuerza que ciertas cosas no son nuestra culpa y el hecho de que constantemente reconoce el esfuerzo que una persona con TDAH hace por vivir y sobrevivir.
May 11, 2017
Best. ADHD book. EVER.
Full of concrete and helpful suggestions to help people manage their ADHD and understand bit. The book was a revelation.
Full of concrete and helpful suggestions to help people manage their ADHD and understand bit. The book was a revelation.
December 23, 2021
Boring and useless. Don't bother to read.
February 20, 2026
Recommended by my psychiatrist, haha.
A pretty thorough review of ADHD coping strategies, with some new to me and some that have been driven into my head over and over. I appreciated how truly geared this book was to the adult ADHD experience, and had a clear understanding of the general experiences and struggles. My main gripe was the extremely repetitive writing, but honestly that might be another angle of gearing towards their target audience. (Although constantly spelling out the ADHD acronym was grating, once is fine, but it’s not like it’s new info.)
I also haven't read many guides that use CBT strategies before, and it was useful to get new ideas.
I love self-awareness. But I would argue that this book wasn’t so much self-help as self-understanding (i.e. understanding what you’re working with.)
Honestly, the biggest revelation I hadn't considered is that poor emotional regulation plays into procrastination and task avoidance. I always saw that symptom and thought 'Hmm, my emotional regulation is fine because I don't cry or overreact to situations, so it doesn't apply', but clearly I was really misinterpreting how emotional regulation applies to literally everything, and not just feeling sad/happy/angry (I have around the same emotional intelligence as the 1st Inside Out movie).
Also found the concept of impulsive compliance interesting, as a reframe of the classic people pleaser advice. I've never considered myself a people pleaser, but somehow I'm still always agreeing to too much (because it's stuff that I either can or want to do) without considering how long things actually take. Reframing it as a form of impulsivity is pretty helpful.
All in all, pretty good book.
A pretty thorough review of ADHD coping strategies, with some new to me and some that have been driven into my head over and over. I appreciated how truly geared this book was to the adult ADHD experience, and had a clear understanding of the general experiences and struggles. My main gripe was the extremely repetitive writing, but honestly that might be another angle of gearing towards their target audience. (Although constantly spelling out the ADHD acronym was grating, once is fine, but it’s not like it’s new info.)
I also haven't read many guides that use CBT strategies before, and it was useful to get new ideas.
"Of course, the notion of a 'self-help' or 'do-it-yourself' book for adult ADHD, a condition that we have already identified as a problem related to poor self-regulation (i.e. core difficulties with self-help), might seem oxymoronic - or maybe just moronic."
I love self-awareness. But I would argue that this book wasn’t so much self-help as self-understanding (i.e. understanding what you’re working with.)
Honestly, the biggest revelation I hadn't considered is that poor emotional regulation plays into procrastination and task avoidance. I always saw that symptom and thought 'Hmm, my emotional regulation is fine because I don't cry or overreact to situations, so it doesn't apply', but clearly I was really misinterpreting how emotional regulation applies to literally everything, and not just feeling sad/happy/angry (I have around the same emotional intelligence as the 1st Inside Out movie).
Also found the concept of impulsive compliance interesting, as a reframe of the classic people pleaser advice. I've never considered myself a people pleaser, but somehow I'm still always agreeing to too much (because it's stuff that I either can or want to do) without considering how long things actually take. Reframing it as a form of impulsivity is pretty helpful.
All in all, pretty good book.
January 1, 2025
Feeling like doomscrolling for hours every day fried your brain? Well, I cannot recommend The Adult ADHD Tool Kit highly enough. It’s a supremely practical guide for anyone seeking to improve their productivity and focus. The author breaks down a series of actionable steps that help you prioritize what truly matters (career, personal relationships, etc.). If you like books like Atomic Habits and Deep Work, you’ll find this book to be their perfect companion, to actually start doing, in deep detail.
Beyond its utility for self-help, this book proved transformative for a friend of mine who showed many symptoms of undiagnosed ADHD described in the book. It took some prodding on my part, but the tools and strategies described here truly worked. I saw him experience remarkable growth, and not just academically, but also personally, with newfound confidence and clarity of purpose. Inspired by the book, he even sought a formal ADHD diagnosis, which enabled him to take the next steps in managing his condition.
The value this book has given me in my life and those I care about has been insane. I recommend it 100%, even if you don't have ADHD.
Beyond its utility for self-help, this book proved transformative for a friend of mine who showed many symptoms of undiagnosed ADHD described in the book. It took some prodding on my part, but the tools and strategies described here truly worked. I saw him experience remarkable growth, and not just academically, but also personally, with newfound confidence and clarity of purpose. Inspired by the book, he even sought a formal ADHD diagnosis, which enabled him to take the next steps in managing his condition.
The value this book has given me in my life and those I care about has been insane. I recommend it 100%, even if you don't have ADHD.
May 8, 2025
Found parts of this book extremely helpful for framework especially as breaking down cognitive components of procrastination, practical strategies for planning for distraction, and motivation around continuing with behavior change. I'm glad I read the book and have brought some of what I have read into sessions with people with ADHD. The first half of the book was probably more helpful than the latter half for me and I also had to take breaks from it at times to read other things rather than reading this straight through. I definitely appreciated the boxes summarizing key points as well as those that gave examples of questions for someone to consider as they reflected on ways to check in with themselves about framing tasks.
Only downside is that the book would probably be too dense for the average person who actually has ADHD who is not a clinician. Not hard to grasp concepts but much more focused on the cognitive aspects of struggles around behavioral tasks- so felt helpful to have that but I think there are a few other texts or shorter snippets I might recommend to patients with ADHD.
That being said, I highlighted a number of areas that I plan to go back to!
Only downside is that the book would probably be too dense for the average person who actually has ADHD who is not a clinician. Not hard to grasp concepts but much more focused on the cognitive aspects of struggles around behavioral tasks- so felt helpful to have that but I think there are a few other texts or shorter snippets I might recommend to patients with ADHD.
That being said, I highlighted a number of areas that I plan to go back to!
November 10, 2019
I was introduced to the underlying thinking in effective management of ADHD – or more effectively titled as “Executive Function disorders by researchers & practitioners – in the very late 1990s, here in Philadelphia. Dr. Aaron Beck developed “cognitive behavioral therapy” here and has since educated, researched with and trained many psychotherapists. Among the earliest was Russell Ramsay PhD, practicing psychoemotional therapy and researching & teaching it. He and Tony Rostain have developed what I know is the best workbook-style work for individual recovery from even pretty severe dysfunction.
I recommend it. I also recommend the small group series of mindfulness-based techniques as privately conducted by an affiliate of Rostain & Russell, Ms Lisa Joy Tuttle @ Penn Medicine Behavioral Health. N.B. NOT TO BE CONSTRUED AS AN ADVERTISEMENT- simply a personal opinion in using the not-for-practioner version of this discipline and its presentation here in workbook form.
I recommend it. I also recommend the small group series of mindfulness-based techniques as privately conducted by an affiliate of Rostain & Russell, Ms Lisa Joy Tuttle @ Penn Medicine Behavioral Health. N.B. NOT TO BE CONSTRUED AS AN ADVERTISEMENT- simply a personal opinion in using the not-for-practioner version of this discipline and its presentation here in workbook form.
September 16, 2023
Well, took me six months to finish this one...
Joking apart (I'm a slow reader these days), this is both an informative and effective book. Informative in that it showed me what could be my own issues with time management (among other things), and effective in that it presents, over several situations, ways to alleviate the issue met when lacking attention.
It IS quite a long read for people who lack attention, and the authors have thought of summing up each chapter with key infos in bullet points at the end of each, but still, much of it could have been a short "Action pack!" book of sort.
Still, while not Great Literature, I think it could prove useful to most, hence, 4 stars.
Joking apart (I'm a slow reader these days), this is both an informative and effective book. Informative in that it showed me what could be my own issues with time management (among other things), and effective in that it presents, over several situations, ways to alleviate the issue met when lacking attention.
It IS quite a long read for people who lack attention, and the authors have thought of summing up each chapter with key infos in bullet points at the end of each, but still, much of it could have been a short "Action pack!" book of sort.
Still, while not Great Literature, I think it could prove useful to most, hence, 4 stars.
December 31, 2024
Este libro me lo mencionó mi terapeuta. En teoría todas las recomendaciones suenan prácticas y útiles pero creo que no es para todes. Para empezar está muy largo jiji. Todo tiene sentido, y es muy indulgente con los avances que realices, pero puede ser abrumador tener que controlar absolutamente cada aspecto de tu entorno para ser productivo. Entiendo que es para automatizar pensamientos y conductas ejercitando un estilo de vida mas organizado, pero, ejem, tengo problemas para el establecimiento de hábitos. Creo que funcionaría perfecto como un complemento del proceso terapéutico, con supervisión, e incluso siento que muchas veces es imposible sin tratamiento farmacológico.
June 6, 2023
This book is a must read for adults with ADHD, for parents of teens, and for partners who are helping a loved one with ADHD.
Simple, practical, easy to apply tools which are sure to help create the routine and structure necessary to be successful.
This book was an easy to read tool kit. Chapters were short, and all the information was synthesized at the end, as a quick reference guide. Obviously written for the ADHD adult!
Simple, practical, easy to apply tools which are sure to help create the routine and structure necessary to be successful.
This book was an easy to read tool kit. Chapters were short, and all the information was synthesized at the end, as a quick reference guide. Obviously written for the ADHD adult!
August 9, 2023
"The Adult ADHD Tool Kit" has its moments of shining brilliance, particularly in the sections that offer practical coping strategies for time management.
However, the majority of the book falls short by simply reiterating popular concepts without adding much new or groundbreaking information.
It may be a useful resource for those who are new to ADHD management, but for individuals already well-versed in the subject, read time management & skip the rest!
However, the majority of the book falls short by simply reiterating popular concepts without adding much new or groundbreaking information.
It may be a useful resource for those who are new to ADHD management, but for individuals already well-versed in the subject, read time management & skip the rest!
June 13, 2024
Fácil, mi libro favorito del 2024
El saber que los autores son expertos en el tema creo que es una gran ventaja. Fácil de leer, muy explicativo, basado en ciencia (lots of articles) y cada capítulo termina con los highlights a recordar y recomendados para implementar herramientas prácticas y reales.
Recomendado para ya diagnosticados, no diagnosticados y profesionales que se dediquen a tratarlo.
El saber que los autores son expertos en el tema creo que es una gran ventaja. Fácil de leer, muy explicativo, basado en ciencia (lots of articles) y cada capítulo termina con los highlights a recordar y recomendados para implementar herramientas prácticas y reales.
Recomendado para ya diagnosticados, no diagnosticados y profesionales que se dediquen a tratarlo.
October 16, 2025
I find this book very useful as most of the stories and strategies here are true to my experience and a lot of tips in here are how I'm already coping with my own condition, but I get why this might not be for everyone. I also got bored during the last 50 or so pages of this book, and some part of the books don't sit well with me but I think this really deserves at least four stars.
April 20, 2021
Overall a nice book that let me understood my personal problems with how to manage my times even better. It's not perfect, like many self improvements books that I have read in the past, but it's good enough that some advices stick with me.
August 30, 2021
This book concentrated on the thing that I have the most trouble with in my ADHD-Inattentive Type: Procrastination. It gave me many tools to combat my hesitation in getting things done. I look forward to improving my life.
February 25, 2026
Buena introducción y buenos basics, pero conforme avanza agrega muy poco y se repite mucho.
Quedan faltando técnicas mas avanzadas, como evitar la parálisis de planificación, natural dada el montón que receta.
Quedan faltando técnicas mas avanzadas, como evitar la parálisis de planificación, natural dada el montón que receta.
April 11, 2021
practical resource
Read
July 19, 2022read this as a way to put off finishing my play :)
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