One of Them: From Albert Square to Parliament Square

by Michael Cashman

'A memoir to cherish' Ian McKellen

'A brave, good man' Sheila Hancock

'A book to be savoured' Alan Johnson

'There are so many reasons to love this book' Armistead Maupin

'A beautifully written, funny memoir' Jo Brand

Michael Cashman has lived many lives, all of them remarkable: as a beloved actor of stage and screen; as a campaigner for gay rights; as an MEP and as a life peer.

Born in the post-war East End of London, young Michael's life is changed when he is spotted in a school play, cast in Lionel Bart's Oliver! and is transported to the glittering West End. Acting on stage and screen into adulthood, he finds his most defining role as Colin in Eastenders, making television history as one half of the first gay kiss ever broadcast on a British soap. But it is a chance encounter in a Butlins resort that leads Michael to the great love of his life: Paul Cottingham, who would become his husband and partner of 31 years.

We follow Michael's second act, as with Ian McKellen he founds and chairs Stonewall, fighting tirelessly for civil liberties all over the world before entering the world of politics. His adventures and misadventures lead him and Paul as far and wide as high tea in LA with David Hockney to flirting with Joan Collins to flying the rainbow flag over the Albert Hall with Elton John. But Michael's greatest triumphs are seasoned with bitter loss - and he continues his ceaseless fight bearing a profound grief.

One of Them contains as many multitudes as its author: glorious nostalgia, wicked showbiz gossip, a stirring history of a civil rights movement, a sorrowfully clear-eyed exposition of Britain's standing in Europe, and an unforgettable love story. Told with warmth, wit and humanity, it is an account of a life lived both left-of-field and firmly embedded in the heart of all that makes Britain liberal and good.

Genres: Nonfiction, Biography, LGBT, Queer, Memoir, Audiobook, Gay

416 pages, Paperback

First published February 6, 2020

Reviews

[Andrew Levey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Probably the best memoir I’ve ever read. Made me laugh and cry and everything in between. Beautifully written and unapologetically honest. Well worth a read.

[Char · Rating 5 out of 5]

"To be alone is never to have been loved"

I had the pleasure of meeting Michael at an LGBT+ book festival last year and was lucky enough to get a signed edition of this. I heard him speak about his journey through politics and his journey with Paul and I knew I had to read it. To be honest, I put this off for a while because I've never been great with biographies but it has exceeded my every expectation.

I'm honestly a little lost for words after finishing this. The way it is narrated keeps you hooked for the entire book, something that is really difficult to do in memoirs. I was horrified at some of the events that Michael has had to go through and amazed at what an incredible man he his, both in his experiences, his education, and his career. This book is beautifully written and I am unashamed to say I absolutely cried at the ending. I knew it was coming yet it didn't soften the blow at all.

He should be proud of all the things he has achieved because despite everything the world has thrown at him, he has managed to make a real difference in the world and generations to come will thank him for it.

[Costa Gavrielides · Rating 5 out of 5]

Michael Cashman is one of my favourite international LGBTI activists, whom I had the privilege to meet several times over the years. Reading his memoirs was deeply moving and inspiring. My respect for him only grew as I was going through the pages of this book.

I admired Michael ever since I met him back in 2011. He is a great speaker, conveying the right messages with clarity and conviction. He is a man that can see the bigger picture and persevere. He has a very persuasive communication method and this made him such a good politician and Labour MEP. A lot of these can be seen by the reader of this book.

Michael has been an inspiration and his wit and finesse flows into this book. It is an honest account of events and I could associate to a lot he wrote about, particularly the set up of the Cypriot organised LGBTI movement and the reactions to it, some often internal.

I was deeply moved to read about the story of his partner's, Paul Cottingham's, passing and even more so for the abuse he went through as a child. I respect Michael much more for this. It is courageous to talk about these events so publicly.

This book is a worthy read, particularly for all activists out there. A worthy read to remind us why the steps to LGBTI rights were not easy and the progress should not be taken for granted.

[Julian Tooke · Rating 4 out of 5]

Brave, honest & very moving. My only minor criticism of the book is that sometimes I found the writing lazy; it needlessly dropped into cliche or clumsy grammar when with a bit more editing, or some rewriting, it could have read so much better.

[Kexx · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very impressive autobiography that went to places I wasn't quite expecting which made it continually fascinating. Clearly a stubborn man, who worked stunningly hard for justice- It's people like him who make the world a better place. Thank you.

[Jo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Cashman started out as a child actor and has finished up in the House of Lords and in politics. He's led an interesting life and this is a candid memoir about his work, his activism and his sexuality.

[Richard Beaven · Rating 5 out of 5]

Laughed, cried, shock and awe! What a superb biography. Commend this to anyone and everyone.

[Trevor · Rating 5 out of 5]

I laughed, I cried and was thoroughly engaged by this enthralling, and extremely well written biography. His journey from the East End to the House of Lords is a rollercoaster, but one to be enjoyed and savoured in this book. His relationship with Paul, his civil partner, is beautifully and movingly told, it is a true love story.

And on top of this Michael Cashman is a true hero of the LGBTQI community, and should be continually thanked for all of his tireless work for LGBTQI rights.

This is a wonderful book.

[Chris · Rating 5 out of 5]

This memoir is extremely frank and brutal in it's description of Michael's life and experiences. I didn't really know much about him when I started the book, but by the end I was so invested in him and his relationship that I sobbed uncontrollably at one point. But I was also so interested in the political side of his career, which I didn't expect, because he did so much for LGBTQ rights in the UK.

I just loved the experience of reading this book even though it kind of broke me and left me with very sore eyes.

[Sophy H · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was okay but a little bit too "showbizzy" for me.

I actually never watched Eastenders so have no idea who Cashman played etc; his life just sounded interesting as an activist. Whilst the activism parts were mildly engaging, the story was a lot of who he met, showbiz goss, and then bizarrely his rise through the echelons of the enemy government to sell out and become Lord Cashman (eugh!)

Alright but not my cup of cha!

[Tiah]

Book Bite for the Sunday Times: https://bit.ly/3fQ2QmV

~It was a cold December. But it wasn't the cold that brought me into the world, it was a street fight outside Stephney East station. A group of men jumped my dad, fists and boots flying in all directions. My mum did the thing any decent wife would do, she waded in.~

~It was the first gay kiss on a British soap, and it caused outrage...For Gray Hailes and me it wasn't a big thing. We hardly noticed it in the script...In the heady anti-gay, AIDS-plague hysteria it smacked the opposition in the face.~

~[Mo Mowlam] hated male obstinacy and to her they personified it. When asked by Hillary Clinton how she coped with it in that particular political environment, she merely replied that she always factored time into the agenda for 'willy waving'. ~

~Two days later [my mother] was discharged. Within a week or two she was back in the hospital, and three weeks later she died...Only later did they realise that the problem had been an arrhythmic heart, which could have been dealt with by a pacemaker.~

~As the Queen Mother's chef had said to me many ears earlier: 'if it wasn't for gay men, dear, it would be self-service at Clarence House.~

~To be alone is never to have been loved.~

[Melanie Williams · Rating 4 out of 5]

A moving and forthright autobiography. Interesting (and at times heartbreaking) as most of Parts One and Two of the book are and a useful commentary on the times lived through, I think that Part Three about the illness and death of Paul Cottingham is equally as important. Death and bereavement are never easy topics to write about and for those of us who have grieved the death of someone we deeply love, this account may be painful to read, but may also be of comfort.

[Steve Markham · Rating 5 out of 5]

Michael Cashman has long been one of my heroes so I awaited his memoirs with much anticipation. And this book delivers. From humble beginnings; a little boy who simply wanted to entertain found himself in the West End before fame as the trail blazing Colin in EastEnders. He goes on to secure his place in the political world as first an MEP before being called up to the House of Lords. An LGBT champion he has rightfully earned the respect of millions. It is obvious he is rightly proud of his achievements and, after reading this honest, open and often moving story I can only conclude he has every right to be.

[Stephen Clark · Rating 4 out of 5]

A lot of sympathy for the author’s childhood, the rotten way he is used by others but grows up fast. There’s a similar emotional investment at the end, dealing with his partner’s illness. In between is a more conventional celebrity autobiography with lots of thank-you’s to people he’s worked with. Cashman is definitely one of the good guys.

[Jonathan Fryer · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the driving forces for people writing autobiography is the need to slay demons. That was certainly the case with my childhood memoir, Eccles Cakes, whose production was painful but therapeutic. And I suspect that has been equally true for the actor and politician Michael Cashman with his much more substantial book, One of Them (Bloomsbury, £18.99). His story falls into three distinct parts, not quite the Three Ages of Man, but separate compartments of his life in which his developing personality and sensibilities have been the unifying thread. The first of these parts — which will probably appeal most to the “general reader” who knows of him as an actor — deals with growing up as one of four boys in a working class family near the docks in Limehouse, East London, in the 1950s and early 1960s. His father did manual work unloading ships before finding a more congenial post as a park keeper, while his mother cleaned offices and juggled bills in an effort to stave off financial calamity. Young Michael was different from the other boys, however, because he realised very early on that he was gay and he loved to perform. This would land him a part in the West End musical, Oliver!, for a while taking over the title role. That set him on a professional path that would lead to joining the cast of the BBC’s soap opera, Eastenders.

As a teenager he was introduced to the (then illegal) excitement and pitfalls of same-sex encounters, about which he is brutally candid. His sexuality led to him becoming politically engaged, outraged by the injustices faced by LGBT people, not least when Margaret Thatcher was in power and Section 28 was introduced, banning the “promotion” of homosexuality. Along with some friends, notably the actor and fellow resident of Tower Hamlets, Ian McKellen, he set up Stonewall, probably the most effective political lobbying group of its kind. By now Michael had also got involved in Labour Party politics, resulting in him getting elected for three terms as an MEP for the West Midlands. I would have liked to hear much more of his experiences in the European Parliament, and his work on the Cotonou Convention between the EU and the “ACP” countries of Africa, the Caribbean and the Pacific, but life in Brussels and Strasbourg and various work-related trips to far-flung parts of the world get short shrift.

The third and final part of the book is the most personal and confessional, covering the most important relationship in his life, with the entertainer, organiser and later Labour Party activist Paul Cottingham, a dozen years his junior. They met in Scarborough, when Paul was a 19-year-old Redcoat at Butlins and Michael was working with Alan Ayckbourn. It was a coup de foudre, though theirs would develop into a open relationship of a kind rarely successfully managed. As Paul developed an interest in becoming a counsellor, Michael became his resident guinea pig and parts of the final section of the book are like eavesdropping on talking therapy. Large chunks of conversation are recreated, as if from retrieved memory. Emotions were intensified when Paul developed a rare form of cancer which overturned assumptions about who would outlive the other. In fact, Paul would pass away just days before Michael was inducted into the House of Lords as a Labour Peer. Certain passages of this section are immensely moving. But throughout the book one has the sense of a roller-coaster life, rapidly moving from highs to lows, but richly savoured.

[Richard · Rating 4 out of 5]

My first introduction to Michael Cashman was to his alter ego, Colin Russell, when the character first appeared in EastEnders in 1986. At this point in my life I was a whisker short of being 21, living with my parents in Bradford, deeply unhappy and wrestling with my identity. I didn't really know what or who I was but knew I didn't belong. The appearance of the first gay character in a British soap opera coincided with the British Government's 'AIDS: Don't Die of Ignorance' campaign and reading this book puts things into perspective. As a 20 year old innocent, two things were clear to me: whatever his personal preferences, the character of Colin seemed a fairly ordinary but decent guy and being gay was not a safe or easy thing to be.
Told over three distinct phases, One of Them: From Albert Square to Parliament Square starts in the poverty of East London's docks, where Cashman was born and dragged up. His young life was not easy but he was a survivor and quickly adapted to circumstances, taking each opportunity, as it arose, to move onwards and upwards to - ultimately - becoming a peer in the House of Lords. From actor to politician he strove to further the equality agenda, supported for 31 years by his life-partner, Paul Cottingham. Their story dominates the book and is told with brutal and sometimes surprising honesty. Theirs was not always an easy partnership but it is recounted with deep love and an acknowledgement that Cottingham was Cashman's better-half in more ways than one.
On a personal level, my own 1990s decampment to London and through many of its places, as mentioned in the book, prompted my own trip down memory lane. Strange to think of the decades that have past since and the places which no longer exist.
Michael Cashman's tale comes across as a raw and honest one, with many people in his debt for what he, alongside others, did to promote LGBT rights at a crucial point in our immediate history. He sees it as just getting on with things, which is pretty self-effacing, especially when put into historical context in which the events of his life sit, particularly the homophobic context of the 1980s fuelled by AIDS and ignorance. Ultimately, this is a tale of a life lived in full, supported by a man who loved in full and - by the third act of this volume - most readers will find it hard-going; not that the writing fails, it doesn't - rather, it delivers the heart-breaking culmination to Cashman and Cottingham's relationship.
By the final page, you do really feel as if you know Michael Cashman personally. Not one of life's observers, he gets involved and, overall, like his alter ego, seems a fairly a decent guy. Not a bad legacy for a kid from down Limehouse-way.

[Mike Clarke · Rating 3 out of 5]

Scene out: Michael Cashman’s self-aware and honest autobiography is surprisingly touching and somewhat removed from the usual showbiz blah. That’s not to say it doesn’t have the expected tropes - hard knock East End upbringing? Check. Bullied at school and fiddled with by impresarios as a child actor? Check. Friend of Babs Windsor? Mais oui, mademoiselle. But it’s handled nicely and his time on EastEnders - the wringingly wet Colin was, inexplicable as this must seem to the Heartstopper generation, a beacon in troubled times - morphing into gay rights activist and politician provide the most fibrous grist to his particular mill. While ‘Cash’ not be able to claim sole credit for civil partnerships and the general increased tolerance of gays in British life, he definitely played a major role. And whilst one may raise an eyebrow at some of Stonewall’s recent antics, he was spot on in co-founding it, and cannot be blamed for what his own special creation has become.

One Of Them - a title redolent with the playground bullying and unfunny bigoted comedians off of the telly that I recall so well from childhood - is a smart piece of social history. Cashman has a few funny anecdotes and name drops with consummate ease - we expect no less - but the tale of his husband’s death from cancer just a few days before he was inducted into the Lords is bravely told, banishing any trace of self-pity. Odd, though, that for someone with an early parallel career as a playwright, it’s at times a but clunky style-wise, and whilst he can be forgiven for forgetting why the 1992 election had to be called, misnaming a premier gay cabaret artiste is less forgivable - Regina Thong my arse, as Dame Bundy of late lamented memory would no doubt have squawked. To err is to be human, to forgive is too divine - and he’s definitely One Of Us as well as One Of Them.

[Matthew Wyatt · Rating 5 out of 5]

An inspiring and moving memoir from the actor-turned-politician, charting his youth in the East End of London, right through to his political career as an MEP and his subsequent elevation to the House of Lords. From funny, theatrical anecdotes about Ian Mckellen and the cast of Eastenders, to tales of Cashman's activism on behalf of the LGBT community, there is certainly something for everyone in this autobiography. The book is not just a political or theatrical memoir, it is a touching and emotional tribute to Cashman's late partner, Paul Cottingham, and their many happy years together - certainly worth a read!

[Jonathan · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a superb autobiography. Michael Cashman's role in creating a better society, particularly for LGBT people, has been incredibly important. And a lot of people owe him a huge debt of thanks. This book shows the effort and personal cost required.

His life is also an insight into social history. It shines light and understanding through Cashman's clear prose.

And it's a human story, a testimony of love. A powerful account of the pain and joy that love brings. The whole honestly shared.

[Starrymouse · Rating 5 out of 5]

Trigger warning for the book - child abuse (but not sensationalist or misery-memoir).

This is a wonderful book. The prose is simple yet compelling - while reading it i felt myself sitting across from Michael hearing him spontaneously tell his story. The story is hard-hitting, all the more so thanks to the brutal honesty. Its very likely you'll be moved and changed if you can be open to Michael's story.

[Dan · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a good read this was! I'll often zone out and skip some of the 'childhood' era of biographies but Michael Cashman has a way with words that made me pay attention. This book covers a lot of ground and the Labour party era is very revealing about the bloody nightmare aspects of political parties. Also features some Walford moments, of course.

[Paul Lancaster · Rating 5 out of 5]

Utterly brilliant personal memoir of a great man.
I had the pleasure of meeting Michael years ago at the Royal Albert Hall. We talked about my own coming out story and I got the chance to thank him for inspiring and leading the way. This is quite simply one of the very best memoirs I have read. 5 stars !

[Julian Corlett · Rating 5 out of 5]

This memoir is everything I expected it to be and more. Taking me through the whole gamut of emotions, I was spellbound from the opening sentence to the last. I truly cannot commend this compelling book highly enough.

[Rob · Rating 5 out of 5]

Devastating and inspiring. Such a unique life told in the most accessible and fascinating of ways, but ultimately the soul of this autobiography is how much of it is a love letter to his partner, Paul. Beautifully told with humour and stark honesty. Definitely recommend!

[Ricky Sherriff-Short · Rating 3 out of 5]

Who knew what an interesting life that Colin from Eastenders had.
Fascinating start to life albeit traumatising. His complexity and his sense of social responsibility are evident throughout this book.
Very sad end obviously

[Lynda Blackburn · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. It was very open and honest. It also made me cry. Michael reading it on Audible was very sincere.

[Josh Preston]

Powerful and moving.

[John · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very honest book where Michael discusses his life, love, career and LGBT+ challenges, moved to tears and laughter at different points.

[Dave Gilmour · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am so glad that I read this memoir. Just didn’t know how much Michael had done for LGBT+ rights over the years. What a hero a da life to celebrate

[Lynne Wye · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing book. Sometimes it’s easy to forget how hard people have battled to get the rights we all take for granted. Best read in a long time.