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What We Carry
Fans of Caroline Leavitt will relish this rich, complex novel born of the author's own loss and grief, about how one can overcome tragedy through bravery and self-discovery.
Cassidy Morgan's life has always followed a carefully laid track: top education, fulfilling career, and marriage to the love of her life, Owen. The next logical step was starting a family. But when a late-term miscarriage threatens to derail everything she's worked so hard for, she finds herself questioning her identity, particularly what it means to be a mother. Unable to move past her guilt and shame, she realizes there's more to fix than a broken heart. Grief illuminates the weaknesses in her marriage and forces her to deal with her tumultuous relationship with her own mother.
Cassidy hopes her work as a veterinarian specializing in equine reproduction will distract her from the pain but instead finds that one of the cases she's working on shines a spotlight on the memory of her unborn son. For once in her life, Cassidy is left untethered and wondering why she wanted to become a mother in the first place.
Then the unexpected happens when Cassidy becomes pregnant again. But the joy over her baby is tempered by her fear of another loss as well as her increasingly troubled marriage. Now, she must decide whether to let her pain hold her back or trust that there's still something to live for.
What We Carry is a thought-provoking response to the author's own miscarriage and lack of fiction surrounding the topic, that she and other women in her situation crave.
Cassidy Morgan's life has always followed a carefully laid track: top education, fulfilling career, and marriage to the love of her life, Owen. The next logical step was starting a family. But when a late-term miscarriage threatens to derail everything she's worked so hard for, she finds herself questioning her identity, particularly what it means to be a mother. Unable to move past her guilt and shame, she realizes there's more to fix than a broken heart. Grief illuminates the weaknesses in her marriage and forces her to deal with her tumultuous relationship with her own mother.
Cassidy hopes her work as a veterinarian specializing in equine reproduction will distract her from the pain but instead finds that one of the cases she's working on shines a spotlight on the memory of her unborn son. For once in her life, Cassidy is left untethered and wondering why she wanted to become a mother in the first place.
Then the unexpected happens when Cassidy becomes pregnant again. But the joy over her baby is tempered by her fear of another loss as well as her increasingly troubled marriage. Now, she must decide whether to let her pain hold her back or trust that there's still something to live for.
What We Carry is a thought-provoking response to the author's own miscarriage and lack of fiction surrounding the topic, that she and other women in her situation crave.
336 pages, Kindle Edition
First published August 10, 2021
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 114 reviews
July 20, 2021
What We Carry- this one blew me away. The author has a personal connection to the loss described in this book, so from the very start, you can feel the authenticity of the story and Cassidy’s anguish.
Cassidy works as a veterinarian and experiences a miscarriage later in her pregnancy. She throws herself into her work as she has difficulty finding her mooring. When she becomes pregnant again, her worries only increase. What if she loses this baby, too? Can her marriage withstand all of this pressure?
Miscarriage is not something I’ve read about often in fiction. I’m grateful the author shared this important and insightful story with us. It’s a beautifully-written, sensitive, emotional book about grief and tremendous loss, with characters I absolutely cherished and wanted the best for. Cassidy was such an endearing character.
I received a gifted copy.
Many of my reviews can also be found on my blog: www.jennifertarheelreader.com and instagram: www.instagram.com/tarheelreader
Cassidy works as a veterinarian and experiences a miscarriage later in her pregnancy. She throws herself into her work as she has difficulty finding her mooring. When she becomes pregnant again, her worries only increase. What if she loses this baby, too? Can her marriage withstand all of this pressure?
Miscarriage is not something I’ve read about often in fiction. I’m grateful the author shared this important and insightful story with us. It’s a beautifully-written, sensitive, emotional book about grief and tremendous loss, with characters I absolutely cherished and wanted the best for. Cassidy was such an endearing character.
I received a gifted copy.
Many of my reviews can also be found on my blog: www.jennifertarheelreader.com and instagram: www.instagram.com/tarheelreader
August 18, 2021
What a heartfelt story! I listened to the audiobook of What We Carry by Kalyn Fogarty. The book dealt with the painful loss associated with miscarriage. It was well narrated by Kathe Mazur, Xe Sands, Holter Graham and Kitty Hendrix. What We Carry was a character driven book with a thought provoking and absorbing plot. It was based on the author’s own experience with miscarriage. Miscarriage tends to be a topic that is rarely discussed. It often brings about the feeling of shame and uneasy feelings with it including guilt and an assortment of emotions that could even be life altering. Statistics reflect that one in every four women sufferer from a miscarriage. That is staggering! Often the emotions that accompany a miscarriage are suppressed and can result in depression or other mental health issues. Kalyn Fogarty examined all the aspects of miscarriage in her book, What We Carry.
Cassidy and Owen Morgan were happily married and had good career oriented jobs. They balanced each other. Cassidy was intelligent, a planner, depended on the logic of science, an oldest child and a veterinarian. She had decided to specialize in horses. Owen was more lay back and had the easy going personality of a boy who grew up in Kansas. He was running his own construction company and trying to make it more successful. Both Cassidy and Owen felt that the time was right to start a family. Soon Cassidy and Owen discovered that they were expecting a child. Cassidy made sure to do everything right by eating healthy and taking good care of herself. Nothing could have prepared either Cassidy or Owen for the terrible loss they were about to suffer when Cassidy miscarried at 20 weeks. Cassidy and Owen grieved separately. Both Cassidy and Owen needed each other but could not find the words to relate their needs to one another. As a result, they grew more and more distant from each other. Especially Cassidy was feeling like she did something wrong and blamed herself for the miscarriage. She even began to question her ability to be a good mother. Would Cassidy and Owen be able to find their way back to one another? Could they get past this tragic loss and see a future that included a baby?
It was comforting to realize that this tragedy was not limited to Cassidy. As Cassidy met other mothers who had suffered miscarriages she was surprised how openly they could talk about their losses. These women wore their emotions on their sleeves. They mourned for their losses, would never forget their unborn children but were able to move on. Through these new encounters, Cassidy began to heal and open herself up. She started to include Owen in the healing process. As they both unburdened all the emotions that they had kept suppressed within themselves, they were finally able to grieve together, heal and move on together. Would their future hold the dream of a full term healthy baby? What We Carry played on all my emotions. It was well written and explored such a relevant topic in both a tragic and uplifting way. I highly recommend this book.
Thank you to Dreamscape Media, LLC through Netgalley for allowing me to listen to this audiobook in exchange for an honest review. All opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.
Cassidy and Owen Morgan were happily married and had good career oriented jobs. They balanced each other. Cassidy was intelligent, a planner, depended on the logic of science, an oldest child and a veterinarian. She had decided to specialize in horses. Owen was more lay back and had the easy going personality of a boy who grew up in Kansas. He was running his own construction company and trying to make it more successful. Both Cassidy and Owen felt that the time was right to start a family. Soon Cassidy and Owen discovered that they were expecting a child. Cassidy made sure to do everything right by eating healthy and taking good care of herself. Nothing could have prepared either Cassidy or Owen for the terrible loss they were about to suffer when Cassidy miscarried at 20 weeks. Cassidy and Owen grieved separately. Both Cassidy and Owen needed each other but could not find the words to relate their needs to one another. As a result, they grew more and more distant from each other. Especially Cassidy was feeling like she did something wrong and blamed herself for the miscarriage. She even began to question her ability to be a good mother. Would Cassidy and Owen be able to find their way back to one another? Could they get past this tragic loss and see a future that included a baby?
It was comforting to realize that this tragedy was not limited to Cassidy. As Cassidy met other mothers who had suffered miscarriages she was surprised how openly they could talk about their losses. These women wore their emotions on their sleeves. They mourned for their losses, would never forget their unborn children but were able to move on. Through these new encounters, Cassidy began to heal and open herself up. She started to include Owen in the healing process. As they both unburdened all the emotions that they had kept suppressed within themselves, they were finally able to grieve together, heal and move on together. Would their future hold the dream of a full term healthy baby? What We Carry played on all my emotions. It was well written and explored such a relevant topic in both a tragic and uplifting way. I highly recommend this book.
Thank you to Dreamscape Media, LLC through Netgalley for allowing me to listen to this audiobook in exchange for an honest review. All opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.
August 14, 2021
Sometimes you desperately want to love a novel simply for its storyline. But whether you love a novel or not depends on so many factors, including your state of mind while reading it. I think I picked up this book at the wrong time. It has a lot going for it, but I couldn’t connect with it as much as I had expected.
Story:
For me, this book was a win in terms of its storyline and theme but it lost in terms of its plot structuring, characters and writing style. It’s a complex novel exploring multiple types of parenting, multiple levels of grief, and multiple ways of acceptance. The title is quite significant; ‘what we carry’ can mean so many things. We carry expectations of family and self, we carry (and miscarry) babies, we carry memories, we carry pain, we carry guilt. And all these ideas come out in the story somewhere or the other. It’s an appropriate title for this work.
I have never read a book that deals with miscarriage and the pain thereafter in such a layered way. You will feel Cassidy’s pain in your heart. You will find yourself feeling sorry for Owen who is lost about what to do. As Cassidy has always been the stronger partner in their marriage, Owen finds himself without an anchor to guide his emotions. Everything to do with the miscarriage and their lives thereafter is written well. Cassidy works as an equine veterinarian and the way one of the horse’s pregnancies ties in with her own story is also a nice touch.
Usually I'm a fan of books with multiple perspectives but in this book, somehow it felt like too much. This problem is worsened because the chapters are quite short and all perspectives are in first person. It would have worked wonderfully coming just from Cassidy and Owen’s perspectives. Having four voices diluted the impact of the story for me. There are also many rambling descriptions in the book about trivial content such as Owen’s landscaping work or Cassidy’s equine customers.
Of the four main characters, Joan was written very well as the mother who tries her best to connect to her daughter but simply doesn’t know how to. I loved how her character is portrayed so realistically rather than being the picture-perfect mother as in most books. But her arc is not essential to the main storyline and just serves as a confrontation point for Cassidy. Claire as a character is fantastic. How she copes with the hustle-bustle of her life and still finds time to be the mediator between her sister and her mother is incredible. I loved her presence in the story, but again, she hardly had any role to play. The focus should have been on Cassidy and Owen. And I’m sorry to say but I couldn’t get Cassidy’s character. I understood how she felt after her miscarriage but some of her reactions seemed over the top. Yes, she was dealing with an intense grief, but she was acting as if it was her grief alone, and I simply didn’t get this, especially considering her initial closeness to Owen. Why couldn’t she see that Owen had lost a child too? Surely there was a better connect between the two of them. I think I might have liked the book a lot better had I felt close to Cassidy. But I just found her very self-oriented and irritating.
I remember having a conversation with a friend about social media comments and I had told her that sometimes, intent is more important than content, and that we must understand why something is written rather than what is written. I think my statement applies to this book too. So maybe you could give this book a try for a glimpse into how great tragedy a miscarriage can be for the expectant parents and ignore the unsatisfactory character sketches and writing. Read it as a story about love and loss and hope. But don’t pick it up when you’re in an emotionally low phase. You might not be able to complete it.
Thank you to NetGalley and Alcove Press for the ARC of the book in exchange for an honest review.
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Join me on the Facebook group, Readers Forever! , for more reviews, book-related discussions and fun.
Story:
Cassidy’s life is perfectly on track: great education, successful career, happy marriage. When time comes to begin a family, she gets into the act with the same planning and determination as always. But a late-term miscarriage shatters her more than she expected. The story depicts her struggles to accept the loss of her baby. Will she be able to go beyond her grief? Can she ever consider having a child without feeling guilty over the one she lost? Her husband Owen meanwhile is torn between his own dual feelings of loss: that of his baby’s passing and his wife’s enclosing herself in her cocoon of sorrow. Will their marriage be able to survive this tragedy?
The story comes to us from two broad timelines: before the miscarriage and after. It is narrated from four first person perspectives: Cassidy, Owen, Cassidy’s mother Joan with whom she has a love-hate relationship, and Cassidy’s sister Claire who has her own busy and happy family.
For me, this book was a win in terms of its storyline and theme but it lost in terms of its plot structuring, characters and writing style. It’s a complex novel exploring multiple types of parenting, multiple levels of grief, and multiple ways of acceptance. The title is quite significant; ‘what we carry’ can mean so many things. We carry expectations of family and self, we carry (and miscarry) babies, we carry memories, we carry pain, we carry guilt. And all these ideas come out in the story somewhere or the other. It’s an appropriate title for this work.
I have never read a book that deals with miscarriage and the pain thereafter in such a layered way. You will feel Cassidy’s pain in your heart. You will find yourself feeling sorry for Owen who is lost about what to do. As Cassidy has always been the stronger partner in their marriage, Owen finds himself without an anchor to guide his emotions. Everything to do with the miscarriage and their lives thereafter is written well. Cassidy works as an equine veterinarian and the way one of the horse’s pregnancies ties in with her own story is also a nice touch.
Usually I'm a fan of books with multiple perspectives but in this book, somehow it felt like too much. This problem is worsened because the chapters are quite short and all perspectives are in first person. It would have worked wonderfully coming just from Cassidy and Owen’s perspectives. Having four voices diluted the impact of the story for me. There are also many rambling descriptions in the book about trivial content such as Owen’s landscaping work or Cassidy’s equine customers.
Of the four main characters, Joan was written very well as the mother who tries her best to connect to her daughter but simply doesn’t know how to. I loved how her character is portrayed so realistically rather than being the picture-perfect mother as in most books. But her arc is not essential to the main storyline and just serves as a confrontation point for Cassidy. Claire as a character is fantastic. How she copes with the hustle-bustle of her life and still finds time to be the mediator between her sister and her mother is incredible. I loved her presence in the story, but again, she hardly had any role to play. The focus should have been on Cassidy and Owen. And I’m sorry to say but I couldn’t get Cassidy’s character. I understood how she felt after her miscarriage but some of her reactions seemed over the top. Yes, she was dealing with an intense grief, but she was acting as if it was her grief alone, and I simply didn’t get this, especially considering her initial closeness to Owen. Why couldn’t she see that Owen had lost a child too? Surely there was a better connect between the two of them. I think I might have liked the book a lot better had I felt close to Cassidy. But I just found her very self-oriented and irritating.
I remember having a conversation with a friend about social media comments and I had told her that sometimes, intent is more important than content, and that we must understand why something is written rather than what is written. I think my statement applies to this book too. So maybe you could give this book a try for a glimpse into how great tragedy a miscarriage can be for the expectant parents and ignore the unsatisfactory character sketches and writing. Read it as a story about love and loss and hope. But don’t pick it up when you’re in an emotionally low phase. You might not be able to complete it.
Thank you to NetGalley and Alcove Press for the ARC of the book in exchange for an honest review.
***********************
Join me on the Facebook group, Readers Forever! , for more reviews, book-related discussions and fun.
May 28, 2021
I wrote this book following my own late term miscarriage. As I worked through my own grief, I realized miscarriage is not often spoken about head-on in literature, even women’s fiction. Considering 1 in 4 women will experience pregnancy loss in their lifetime I decided to tackle the issue in my debut WF novel while also exploring grief, relationships and the journey towards motherhood in the face of such obstacles. I hope you enjoy Cassidy’s story!
August 4, 2021
A realistic fiction about pregnancy and miscarriage. Something none of us wants to talk about. This was also about the layers of our life like marriage, family, grief and joy. This was an audiobook for me and it was narrated by Käthe Mazur, Xe Sands; Holter Graham; Kitty Hendrix. They were awesome and I highly recommend listening to this.
I come from a long line of stubborn women and this really hit home for me. Mom and daughter relationships can be complicated and my heart broke for them. Owen, the husband was so precious during her grief that I think all of us could learn a thing or two from him. This is sad but there is an HEA if you’re wondering.
The novel explores the complicated situations when trying to move past this grief. Saying the wrong things is probably a given. How can this go better? Can it go better? Or are we shackled to the enviable fall out of painful and strained relationships. What have I learned from this? You ask? That it’s awful whenever it happens and I simply need to be sensitive with my words and love everyone where there at in their grief.
Thanks Dreamscape Media via Netgalley.
January 1, 2022
Raw, visceral, real! This book is for anyone who has experienced infertility, infant loss or miscarriage. Highly relatable and utterly emotional. I was completely invested in this couple's journey to work through their grief and loss. Really appreciated that the story was told from multiple POVs, not just the mother's. Great on audio. Much thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for my ALC!!
May 22, 2021
This book had me in tears and I could feel my heartbreaking as I read every word of this story. In this thought-provoking story of loss and grief you will set forth on an emotional rollercoaster that will leave you gasping for air and trying to figure out how life can be so cruel and what it takes to overcome tragedy.
Cassidy and Owen have been married for 10 years and have built a life that they love, but there is just one thing missing, a baby. Once they finally decide to start trying it is not as easy as they thought it would be, but finally conceiving they are overjoyed. The feeling of bliss does not last when Cassidy miscarries and loses their baby. At 20 weeks it is the hardest thing she and Owen have ever faced. In the weeks following the tragedy they must learn how to find their way back to one another. As things are beginning to turn around and the guilt of living life again begins to subside some Cassidy finds out she is pregnant again. They are in disbelief and are terrified after what happened last time. They must each find the strength to confront their feelings about their son and accept that life moves on and that it is ok to move on but never forget.
This book makes you take a long hard look and loss and grief and how transforms as a people. Our experiences change us, and we decide how it changes us and how much we are willing to endure. Things we carry shed some light on the tragedy of a miscarriage and the strength it takes to overcome a loss this powerful.
A special thanks to netgalley for providing me with a digital copy of this book, in exchange for my honest review.
Cassidy and Owen have been married for 10 years and have built a life that they love, but there is just one thing missing, a baby. Once they finally decide to start trying it is not as easy as they thought it would be, but finally conceiving they are overjoyed. The feeling of bliss does not last when Cassidy miscarries and loses their baby. At 20 weeks it is the hardest thing she and Owen have ever faced. In the weeks following the tragedy they must learn how to find their way back to one another. As things are beginning to turn around and the guilt of living life again begins to subside some Cassidy finds out she is pregnant again. They are in disbelief and are terrified after what happened last time. They must each find the strength to confront their feelings about their son and accept that life moves on and that it is ok to move on but never forget.
This book makes you take a long hard look and loss and grief and how transforms as a people. Our experiences change us, and we decide how it changes us and how much we are willing to endure. Things we carry shed some light on the tragedy of a miscarriage and the strength it takes to overcome a loss this powerful.
A special thanks to netgalley for providing me with a digital copy of this book, in exchange for my honest review.
July 27, 2021
This is a beautifully written emotional book about miscarriage. One in every four women suffers a miscarriage but it isn't a topic that people talk about much and there are very few fiction books about it. . The book is based on the author's own miscarriage and she wrote it because she wanted the subject acknowledged more than it is now.
Casssidy is a veterinarian and has always had her life planned out. She and her husband Owen are devastated when she miscarries their son late in her pregnancy. She can barely handle life again and has no one to talk to about it. Owen is willing to talk but she feels that it didn't affect him as much as her and pushes him away. Her thoughts are filled with grief and guilt - in her own way, she is taking the blame for it. As her grief continues, she has only her sister to talk to, She has a very antagonistic relationship with her mother and knows that she'll be no help. After having her life planned out from an early age, this really makes her question herself and wonder if maybe she wouldn't have been a good mother. Owen is always there to help her and love her even as she pushes him away he longs for the wonderful relationship that they had before the miscarriage.
When she becomes pregnant again, she is filled with joy and apprehension. Will this baby be ok or will she miscarry again is on her mind constantly. Owen is always by her side encouraging her but he understands that she is scared and admits that he is too. She and Owen work hard to overcome the problems in their relationship as both look forward with joy and worry about the impending birth.
In the first part of the book, I really didn't like Cassidy much. I thought she was stubborn and uncaring. However, as we saw her grief and despair, I began to like her as a character and began to understand her actions and attitudes. This book is an emotional look at pregnancy, family and love. Even though it was hard to deal with the sadness in the book, the final take away was one of love and understanding.
Thanks to goodreads for a copy of this book to read and review.
Casssidy is a veterinarian and has always had her life planned out. She and her husband Owen are devastated when she miscarries their son late in her pregnancy. She can barely handle life again and has no one to talk to about it. Owen is willing to talk but she feels that it didn't affect him as much as her and pushes him away. Her thoughts are filled with grief and guilt - in her own way, she is taking the blame for it. As her grief continues, she has only her sister to talk to, She has a very antagonistic relationship with her mother and knows that she'll be no help. After having her life planned out from an early age, this really makes her question herself and wonder if maybe she wouldn't have been a good mother. Owen is always there to help her and love her even as she pushes him away he longs for the wonderful relationship that they had before the miscarriage.
When she becomes pregnant again, she is filled with joy and apprehension. Will this baby be ok or will she miscarry again is on her mind constantly. Owen is always by her side encouraging her but he understands that she is scared and admits that he is too. She and Owen work hard to overcome the problems in their relationship as both look forward with joy and worry about the impending birth.
In the first part of the book, I really didn't like Cassidy much. I thought she was stubborn and uncaring. However, as we saw her grief and despair, I began to like her as a character and began to understand her actions and attitudes. This book is an emotional look at pregnancy, family and love. Even though it was hard to deal with the sadness in the book, the final take away was one of love and understanding.
Thanks to goodreads for a copy of this book to read and review.
August 7, 2022
Stopped reading this by page 21. This is probably the second book I’ve completely given up on out of the dozens I’ve read.
I disliked the main character, Cassidy, by the time I stopped which is honestly not a good thing because she just had a miscarriage and you should probably be on her side.
I had no interest to continue except to see how much worse it might get, but I’m not wasting my time.
Almost immediately Cassidy talks about science being her life and then turns around and talks about taking herbal supplements and putting progesterone cream on her wrists?? I’m not a medical professional, but are those medically effective actions to regulate your cycle? The application area of the cream and the herbal supplements remind me of my mom’s homeopathic medicine that can cure any illness. Also, Cassidy gets these “remedies” from an internet support group. I get having a support group for a similar issue, but please PLEASE don’t take medical advice from non-medical professionals. Seek help through your primary care doctor, OB/GYN, or a fertility specialist. The internet is full of mistruths and liars claiming to know better than medical professionals. Talk to your doctors. And if you don’t like what they have to say, seek help through a different doctor.
The author makes a generalization that all men are squeamish at the sight of blood (maybe specifically period blood) while women are not. Absolutely false. Not everyone is the same. Regardless of that, blood isn’t the most attractive thing to see and from what I’ve heard period blood especially on heavy days is even less attractive. This part is just stupid.
When Cassidy is initially trying to get pregnant before the miscarriage, she describes buying 30 early-detection tests at $13.99 each ($419.70 total) and countless cheap ovulation and pregnancy test strips in bulk over 8 months. According to some quick google searches, you’re supposed to take a pregnancy test one week after a missed period. I can imagine the desire to confirm a pregnancy, but what Cassidy did seems like overkill and a waste of money. If you’re supposed to check one week after missing your period, how often is Cassidy missing her period in 8 months to use that many tests?? Other sources also mention waiting a week between tests. If she followed that, she would only need 16 tests.
On one page Cassidy describes herself as calm and rational and being all about science, but in another page is confronted by her husband for making grandparent Christmas ornaments months in advance of the pregnancy being confirmed. She defends herself by saying “I know I say it every month, but this time it’s different. I have all the symptoms, and we did everything right last month. A woman can tell. I can feel it.” For someone who is described as logically minded and sensible, she doesn’t seem that way. I would even let that go because it’s a weak point, but it gets worse. The husband asks if she confirmed her feelings with a test and she doesn’t say anything. When the husband goes to the bathroom to wash his hands before dinner, he finds a negative pregnancy test on the bathroom sink. Maybe she had difficulty admitting the truth with it being such a tough situation, but she lied. And she’s getting her and her husband’s hopes up with making Christmas ornaments for their parents before anything is even confirmed.
Also in general, their communication is poor especially on Cassidy’s side.
The story fast-forwards in the next chapter to the miscarriage being confirmed by the doctor. They both don’t take it well, understandably so. But Cassidy reacts in another way that I hated. Her husband tells her he’s so sorry and is crying and looking at her. She sees pity mixed in with the sadness and gets angry with him internally for it. WHY?!?! You both just fucking lost your child. You’re both sad and it doesn’t take a genius to know that loss can be harder on the mother. So why is it wrong that he pities you for losing something you so badly wanted? Why is pity such a bad thing when it literally means “the feeling of sorrow and compassion caused by the suffering and misfortune of others”? It’s basically just another word for being sympathetic or empathetic. So why is it so wrong for your husband, who is your life partner you share the ups and downs and your soul with, to feel that way for you?
Well in order to avoid all that sadness, she goes on to say “something was wrong with the fetus. This was nature’s way of balancing the scales. It wouldn’t have been healthy. It’s better this way.” IT’S FUCKING BETTER THIS WAY?! IT’S BETTER FOR YOUR BABY TO DIE AT 20 WEEKS?? Why the fuck would you say that in front of your husband RIGHT AFTER YOU GOT CONFIRMATION OF DEATH?! I get you’re going through a fucking terrible time, but that is so disrespectful of his feelings as well as all the time, effort, wants, and desires for this child. That would be like my mom dying and someone telling me immediately “at least she died peacefully”. I would tell that person to fuck right off. Fuck Cassidy for that.
She then goes on to basically give him the cold shoulder and hide her hand so he can’t hold it and comfort her after she complained a couple pages back about wanting to be comforted.
I’m not a fan of this book and will never be returning.
I disliked the main character, Cassidy, by the time I stopped which is honestly not a good thing because she just had a miscarriage and you should probably be on her side.
I had no interest to continue except to see how much worse it might get, but I’m not wasting my time.
Almost immediately Cassidy talks about science being her life and then turns around and talks about taking herbal supplements and putting progesterone cream on her wrists?? I’m not a medical professional, but are those medically effective actions to regulate your cycle? The application area of the cream and the herbal supplements remind me of my mom’s homeopathic medicine that can cure any illness. Also, Cassidy gets these “remedies” from an internet support group. I get having a support group for a similar issue, but please PLEASE don’t take medical advice from non-medical professionals. Seek help through your primary care doctor, OB/GYN, or a fertility specialist. The internet is full of mistruths and liars claiming to know better than medical professionals. Talk to your doctors. And if you don’t like what they have to say, seek help through a different doctor.
The author makes a generalization that all men are squeamish at the sight of blood (maybe specifically period blood) while women are not. Absolutely false. Not everyone is the same. Regardless of that, blood isn’t the most attractive thing to see and from what I’ve heard period blood especially on heavy days is even less attractive. This part is just stupid.
When Cassidy is initially trying to get pregnant before the miscarriage, she describes buying 30 early-detection tests at $13.99 each ($419.70 total) and countless cheap ovulation and pregnancy test strips in bulk over 8 months. According to some quick google searches, you’re supposed to take a pregnancy test one week after a missed period. I can imagine the desire to confirm a pregnancy, but what Cassidy did seems like overkill and a waste of money. If you’re supposed to check one week after missing your period, how often is Cassidy missing her period in 8 months to use that many tests?? Other sources also mention waiting a week between tests. If she followed that, she would only need 16 tests.
On one page Cassidy describes herself as calm and rational and being all about science, but in another page is confronted by her husband for making grandparent Christmas ornaments months in advance of the pregnancy being confirmed. She defends herself by saying “I know I say it every month, but this time it’s different. I have all the symptoms, and we did everything right last month. A woman can tell. I can feel it.” For someone who is described as logically minded and sensible, she doesn’t seem that way. I would even let that go because it’s a weak point, but it gets worse. The husband asks if she confirmed her feelings with a test and she doesn’t say anything. When the husband goes to the bathroom to wash his hands before dinner, he finds a negative pregnancy test on the bathroom sink. Maybe she had difficulty admitting the truth with it being such a tough situation, but she lied. And she’s getting her and her husband’s hopes up with making Christmas ornaments for their parents before anything is even confirmed.
Also in general, their communication is poor especially on Cassidy’s side.
The story fast-forwards in the next chapter to the miscarriage being confirmed by the doctor. They both don’t take it well, understandably so. But Cassidy reacts in another way that I hated. Her husband tells her he’s so sorry and is crying and looking at her. She sees pity mixed in with the sadness and gets angry with him internally for it. WHY?!?! You both just fucking lost your child. You’re both sad and it doesn’t take a genius to know that loss can be harder on the mother. So why is it wrong that he pities you for losing something you so badly wanted? Why is pity such a bad thing when it literally means “the feeling of sorrow and compassion caused by the suffering and misfortune of others”? It’s basically just another word for being sympathetic or empathetic. So why is it so wrong for your husband, who is your life partner you share the ups and downs and your soul with, to feel that way for you?
Well in order to avoid all that sadness, she goes on to say “something was wrong with the fetus. This was nature’s way of balancing the scales. It wouldn’t have been healthy. It’s better this way.” IT’S FUCKING BETTER THIS WAY?! IT’S BETTER FOR YOUR BABY TO DIE AT 20 WEEKS?? Why the fuck would you say that in front of your husband RIGHT AFTER YOU GOT CONFIRMATION OF DEATH?! I get you’re going through a fucking terrible time, but that is so disrespectful of his feelings as well as all the time, effort, wants, and desires for this child. That would be like my mom dying and someone telling me immediately “at least she died peacefully”. I would tell that person to fuck right off. Fuck Cassidy for that.
She then goes on to basically give him the cold shoulder and hide her hand so he can’t hold it and comfort her after she complained a couple pages back about wanting to be comforted.
I’m not a fan of this book and will never be returning.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 14, 2021
Another very powerful & moving listen/read. I was moved by the author’s own personal portrayal of her and her husband’s journey into parenthood. Heartbreaking and thought provoking throughout!
May 11, 2021
What We Carry is an emotionally charged roller-coaster ride. A powerful and engrossing read.
We need more books like this in the world; Kalyn Fogarty tackles the topic of miscarriage—an experience which is too common, and yet not talked about enough. She takes on a journey with Cassidy Morgan, who is reeling after losing her child at twenty-weeks pregnant.
The story is told through alternating points of view from Cassidy, her husband Owen, her sister Claire, and their mother, which the author uses deftly to present a clever and thoughtful study on the destructive impact of grief.
Clearly borne of the author’s own pain and wisdom brought from the experience, Fogarty delves into how it feels to lose a child and the impact on all of Cassidy’s relationships. As her marriage with Owen starts unraveling, we feel his pain as she closes herself off from him. Instead of pulling them together, their shared tragedy risks splitting them apart—and exposes the cracks both in their marriage, and in Cassidy’s and Owen’s own family relationships.
A true page-turner. Layered, thoughtful, compelling and immersive, What We Carry had me rooting for Owen, Cassidy, frustrated at Cassidy’s mother’s narcissism and passive aggressive comments that aren’t helping anyone heal, and rooting for Cassidy and Owen, who love and need each other, now more than ever.
When Cassidy becomes pregnant again, she is rightly terrified, but it also opens a door to find light and hope, despite the fear.
An engrossing study of family dynamics under fire after tragedy, which left my heart torn for Owen and Cassidy, and begging for them to re-find comfort and optimism in each other.
Studded with beautiful and thought-provoking lines like “no-one gives you a manual for grief.” And “I never imagined ten years unraveling in ten days”, Fogarty is a new author with a clear voice- a debut author where you wish you could read more of their books right away- but I know I’ll just have to wait!
Poignant, thought-provoking. Perfect book club fiction, with so much to discuss. Filled with nuggets of wisdom about grief, love and life in general.
We need more books like this in the world; Kalyn Fogarty tackles the topic of miscarriage—an experience which is too common, and yet not talked about enough. She takes on a journey with Cassidy Morgan, who is reeling after losing her child at twenty-weeks pregnant.
The story is told through alternating points of view from Cassidy, her husband Owen, her sister Claire, and their mother, which the author uses deftly to present a clever and thoughtful study on the destructive impact of grief.
Clearly borne of the author’s own pain and wisdom brought from the experience, Fogarty delves into how it feels to lose a child and the impact on all of Cassidy’s relationships. As her marriage with Owen starts unraveling, we feel his pain as she closes herself off from him. Instead of pulling them together, their shared tragedy risks splitting them apart—and exposes the cracks both in their marriage, and in Cassidy’s and Owen’s own family relationships.
A true page-turner. Layered, thoughtful, compelling and immersive, What We Carry had me rooting for Owen, Cassidy, frustrated at Cassidy’s mother’s narcissism and passive aggressive comments that aren’t helping anyone heal, and rooting for Cassidy and Owen, who love and need each other, now more than ever.
When Cassidy becomes pregnant again, she is rightly terrified, but it also opens a door to find light and hope, despite the fear.
An engrossing study of family dynamics under fire after tragedy, which left my heart torn for Owen and Cassidy, and begging for them to re-find comfort and optimism in each other.
Studded with beautiful and thought-provoking lines like “no-one gives you a manual for grief.” And “I never imagined ten years unraveling in ten days”, Fogarty is a new author with a clear voice- a debut author where you wish you could read more of their books right away- but I know I’ll just have to wait!
Poignant, thought-provoking. Perfect book club fiction, with so much to discuss. Filled with nuggets of wisdom about grief, love and life in general.
June 23, 2021
TW: Stillbirth, Miscarriage
Cassidy has a wonderful husband, a fulfilling career, and is ready to start her family. When she loses her much loved son at 20 weeks, Cassidy is shattered and doesn’t know how to move forward. When she unexpectedly becomes pregnant again, she is petrified every step of the pregnancy.
This book was not an easy read, and I do not recommend it if you are having trouble getting pregnant, or if you have recently had a miscarriage or stillbirth. However, it was a truly beautiful story. My heart broke for Cassidy and Owen, and the relationship with her mom was one I am certainly familiar with. I love that women are feeling more open to talking about the loss of a much wanted pregnancy, and I think this book gives a very accurate representation of what women deal with after that loss.
Cassidy has a wonderful husband, a fulfilling career, and is ready to start her family. When she loses her much loved son at 20 weeks, Cassidy is shattered and doesn’t know how to move forward. When she unexpectedly becomes pregnant again, she is petrified every step of the pregnancy.
This book was not an easy read, and I do not recommend it if you are having trouble getting pregnant, or if you have recently had a miscarriage or stillbirth. However, it was a truly beautiful story. My heart broke for Cassidy and Owen, and the relationship with her mom was one I am certainly familiar with. I love that women are feeling more open to talking about the loss of a much wanted pregnancy, and I think this book gives a very accurate representation of what women deal with after that loss.
August 16, 2022
I expected this book to handle the topic of pregnancy loss well due to the author’s personal experience. What I wasn’t expecting was how realistic and fleshed out the characters would be. Cassidy’s mother Joan both made me cringe and understand my own mother better. Cassidy’s anger and isolation are something I can relate to very well. You’d think a character filled with hostility would be unlikeable, but Kalyn Fogarty wrote her with such depth that I couldn’t help but root for her both in her motherhood journey and in battling her personal demons. I loved this book, though I’m glad I read it after I was done having children.
August 3, 2021
Kalyn Fogarty tackles the topic of miscarriage—an experience which is too common, and yet not talked about enough. She takes on a journey with Cassidy Morgan, who is reeling after losing her child at twenty-weeks pregnant.
The story is told through alternating points of view from Cassidy, her husband Owen, her sister Claire, and their mother, which the author uses deftly to present a clever and thoughtful study on the destructive impact of grief.
The story is told through alternating points of view from Cassidy, her husband Owen, her sister Claire, and their mother, which the author uses deftly to present a clever and thoughtful study on the destructive impact of grief.
October 6, 2021
Beautiful story about miscarry and the strength to carry on!
August 16, 2021
Thank you to Netgalley and Dreamscape Media for this advance listener copy in exchange for my honest review.
What we Carry by Kalyn Fogarty is an emotional, heart wrenching story of reliance and loss. This novel is about a couple who lose a child to a second trimester miscarriage. It's told from four different perspectives, including those of Cassidy and Owen, the couple who loses the baby, as well as Cassidy's sister Claire and her mother, Joan.
Cassidy and Owen are your typical married couple, who are having trouble getting pregnant. After finally succeeding, Cassidy ends up miscarrying after 20 weeks. We follow these four characters as they process and grieve the loss, trying to figure out how to move on.
I want to start by saying that this book was extremely well written. The characters were believable and the struggles they experienced felt real. I have to give this book four stars for the writing and plot. That being said, this book just wasn't for me. I was bored with the story as it didn't move quickly enough. This was more of a character study than a plot driven story. So, if you're looking for something with a complex storyline, this one isn't for you.
As for the narration, it was fantastic. I enjoy audiobooks with multiple narrators, and this one had four different narrators, one for each perspective. It actually helped me get through the book.
This one gets four stars, not because I enjoyed the story, but because it was incredibly well done and I really wanted to like it.
What we Carry by Kalyn Fogarty is an emotional, heart wrenching story of reliance and loss. This novel is about a couple who lose a child to a second trimester miscarriage. It's told from four different perspectives, including those of Cassidy and Owen, the couple who loses the baby, as well as Cassidy's sister Claire and her mother, Joan.
Cassidy and Owen are your typical married couple, who are having trouble getting pregnant. After finally succeeding, Cassidy ends up miscarrying after 20 weeks. We follow these four characters as they process and grieve the loss, trying to figure out how to move on.
I want to start by saying that this book was extremely well written. The characters were believable and the struggles they experienced felt real. I have to give this book four stars for the writing and plot. That being said, this book just wasn't for me. I was bored with the story as it didn't move quickly enough. This was more of a character study than a plot driven story. So, if you're looking for something with a complex storyline, this one isn't for you.
As for the narration, it was fantastic. I enjoy audiobooks with multiple narrators, and this one had four different narrators, one for each perspective. It actually helped me get through the book.
This one gets four stars, not because I enjoyed the story, but because it was incredibly well done and I really wanted to like it.
May 11, 2021
What We Carry is a raw, emotional, and real story of miscarriage--at times difficult, yet beautiful and ultimately uplifting.
Cassidy, a veterinarian, and her husband Owen have been struggling with infertility, so when she miscarries, it's exponentially more painful. What We Carry traces the fracturing and ultimate healing of the relationships between Cass and her husband, her sister, and her mother.
The book is told from four points of view: Cass, her sister (the "golden child"/peacemaker of her family), her mother, and her husband. I loved this choice, because it showed how the ripples of these kinds of experiences affect others. The three women were so distinct in their voices--so well-written. Also, occasionally enraging. :) As I said: very, very real.
I have experienced infertility, though not miscarriage, and watching the strain on Cass and Owen's marriage resonated strongly. To see them have to cope with the double whammy of miscarriage had me rooting for Cass, even when her flaws and her woundedness made everything even harder. And of course, Fogarty doesn't pull her punches. I guarantee you will wince, seeing yourself in the clueless, insensitive comments of others who inflict wounds without even realizing it.
I loved Cass's relationship with the horses she treats in her practice. This is a book that will help you empathize with those who experience what none of us want to imagine.
Cassidy, a veterinarian, and her husband Owen have been struggling with infertility, so when she miscarries, it's exponentially more painful. What We Carry traces the fracturing and ultimate healing of the relationships between Cass and her husband, her sister, and her mother.
The book is told from four points of view: Cass, her sister (the "golden child"/peacemaker of her family), her mother, and her husband. I loved this choice, because it showed how the ripples of these kinds of experiences affect others. The three women were so distinct in their voices--so well-written. Also, occasionally enraging. :) As I said: very, very real.
I have experienced infertility, though not miscarriage, and watching the strain on Cass and Owen's marriage resonated strongly. To see them have to cope with the double whammy of miscarriage had me rooting for Cass, even when her flaws and her woundedness made everything even harder. And of course, Fogarty doesn't pull her punches. I guarantee you will wince, seeing yourself in the clueless, insensitive comments of others who inflict wounds without even realizing it.
I loved Cass's relationship with the horses she treats in her practice. This is a book that will help you empathize with those who experience what none of us want to imagine.
August 10, 2021
This was a important read, but a very depressing book. Cassidy and her husband want to have a baby. When they have a late-term miscarriage her life begins to fall apart as she cannot focus on anything else. Everything becomes centered around the miscarriage. There is so much guilt throughout that I almost didn’t finish because it was so depressing. It was well written but the whole situation was very heavy-hearted and you have to be in the right mood to read this one. It was an emotional roller-coaster with grief at the forefront. This book is not for everyone.
Thank you #netgalley for my ARC. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
Thank you #netgalley for my ARC. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
August 13, 2021
3.5 stars. “It’s what we carry together that is everything”. Trigger warnings: infertility and miscarriage.
These characters were so relatable! The author wrote so well that I felt what they felt. And the ending had me in tears because it reminded me of my own delivery with my sons. I just wanted to go hug them. The only negative for me was the slow pace. I usually finish books in 1-2 days and this one took me 3-4 days to finish (because I lost interest mid way through). Overall, I feel like it was well written and told a story that I think women can relate to.
These characters were so relatable! The author wrote so well that I felt what they felt. And the ending had me in tears because it reminded me of my own delivery with my sons. I just wanted to go hug them. The only negative for me was the slow pace. I usually finish books in 1-2 days and this one took me 3-4 days to finish (because I lost interest mid way through). Overall, I feel like it was well written and told a story that I think women can relate to.
August 16, 2021
What We Carry by Kalyn Fogarty an emotional novel about loss, grief and ultimately, healing.
Cassidy Morgan and her husband Owen have been trying to get pregnant for several months without success. Like many women dealing with fertility issues, Cassidy is completely focused on finally getting a positive pregnancy test. As a consequence, her marriage is suffering as Owen grows tired of their intimate life revolving around the optimal time for conception. Finally he finally decides to it is time to speak up, the couple put baby-making on hold for a few months to reconnect with each other. And as sometimes happens when conception is put on the back burner, Cassidy finally gets pregnant. Happily planning for their growing family, Cassidy and Owen are devastated by a late term miscarriage.
Cassidy is a large animal veterinarian who is close to her sister Claire. Her relationship with her mother is tumultuous but Cassidy and her dad share a tight bond. She is a bit of a tomboy who is happiest when taking care of horses. Cassidy is a bit closed off and pulls away during stressful situations. After her miscarriage, she clings tightly to her grief and mostly shuts Owen out.
Owen deeply loves his wife but he is frustrated by how much getting pregnant dominates their life. He is slowly building his business which is poised to take off after winning a prestigious contract. Owen has difficulty expressing his feelings and desires to Cassidy who uses any excuse to continue to push him away. After their loss, Owen must deal with his grief on his own because Cassidy is lost in her own pain and grief.
After undergoing testing to find out a possible cause for the late-term miscarriage, Cassidy and Owen are soon pregnant again. But having dealt with such a heartrending loss, Cassidy is plagued with worry that her body might again betray her. With such complicated feelings, she continues attempting to overcome her fears and fully celebrate the impending birth of their longed-for child.
What We Carry is a multi-layered novel with a deeply affecting storyline. Cassidy is multi-faceted character whose pain after her miscarriage is palpable. Owen is a wonderful man who must change his approach to his wife if they are to move through their grief and save their marriage. Cassidy’s struggles with fertility issues and subsequent heartbreaking pregnancy loss with resonate with readers. Based on her personal experience, Kalyn Fogarty’s debut novel is a thoroughly captivating story that does not shy away from a painful, yet rarely discussed, issue that affects ten to twenty percent of known pregnancies.
Cassidy Morgan and her husband Owen have been trying to get pregnant for several months without success. Like many women dealing with fertility issues, Cassidy is completely focused on finally getting a positive pregnancy test. As a consequence, her marriage is suffering as Owen grows tired of their intimate life revolving around the optimal time for conception. Finally he finally decides to it is time to speak up, the couple put baby-making on hold for a few months to reconnect with each other. And as sometimes happens when conception is put on the back burner, Cassidy finally gets pregnant. Happily planning for their growing family, Cassidy and Owen are devastated by a late term miscarriage.
Cassidy is a large animal veterinarian who is close to her sister Claire. Her relationship with her mother is tumultuous but Cassidy and her dad share a tight bond. She is a bit of a tomboy who is happiest when taking care of horses. Cassidy is a bit closed off and pulls away during stressful situations. After her miscarriage, she clings tightly to her grief and mostly shuts Owen out.
Owen deeply loves his wife but he is frustrated by how much getting pregnant dominates their life. He is slowly building his business which is poised to take off after winning a prestigious contract. Owen has difficulty expressing his feelings and desires to Cassidy who uses any excuse to continue to push him away. After their loss, Owen must deal with his grief on his own because Cassidy is lost in her own pain and grief.
After undergoing testing to find out a possible cause for the late-term miscarriage, Cassidy and Owen are soon pregnant again. But having dealt with such a heartrending loss, Cassidy is plagued with worry that her body might again betray her. With such complicated feelings, she continues attempting to overcome her fears and fully celebrate the impending birth of their longed-for child.
What We Carry is a multi-layered novel with a deeply affecting storyline. Cassidy is multi-faceted character whose pain after her miscarriage is palpable. Owen is a wonderful man who must change his approach to his wife if they are to move through their grief and save their marriage. Cassidy’s struggles with fertility issues and subsequent heartbreaking pregnancy loss with resonate with readers. Based on her personal experience, Kalyn Fogarty’s debut novel is a thoroughly captivating story that does not shy away from a painful, yet rarely discussed, issue that affects ten to twenty percent of known pregnancies.
March 7, 2021
“Everyone loves different...you can’t guess at people’s pain little one.”
What We Carry by Kalyn Fogerty was one of those books that make you forget you are reading.
It was filled with beautiful thoughts on life, friendship and motherhood. It was heart wrenching and also such a hopeful novel.
As What We Carry begins, we quickly meet Cassidy and Owen who are in the midst of a tragedy. As they recover from their trauma, we meet Claire, Cass’s sister and Joan, Cass’s mother. These four points of view are so well written and each character feels beautifully familiar. .As Cassidy and Owen recover from the loss of their first child, we watch their relationship struggle as they try to find their way back to themselves and to one another.
This novel also includes fun details about equine veterinary practices and architectural design which brings added fun and detail for readers who are passionate about these topics.
Kalyn’s description is beautifully detailed but not so much that the novel is laborious or hard to read. I was fully engaged from beginning to end.
A joy to read!!
A sincere thank you to NetGalley for the digital ARC.
https://www.instagram.com/notthelastc...
What We Carry by Kalyn Fogerty was one of those books that make you forget you are reading.
It was filled with beautiful thoughts on life, friendship and motherhood. It was heart wrenching and also such a hopeful novel.
As What We Carry begins, we quickly meet Cassidy and Owen who are in the midst of a tragedy. As they recover from their trauma, we meet Claire, Cass’s sister and Joan, Cass’s mother. These four points of view are so well written and each character feels beautifully familiar. .As Cassidy and Owen recover from the loss of their first child, we watch their relationship struggle as they try to find their way back to themselves and to one another.
This novel also includes fun details about equine veterinary practices and architectural design which brings added fun and detail for readers who are passionate about these topics.
Kalyn’s description is beautifully detailed but not so much that the novel is laborious or hard to read. I was fully engaged from beginning to end.
A joy to read!!
A sincere thank you to NetGalley for the digital ARC.
https://www.instagram.com/notthelastc...
August 29, 2021
Thank you NetGalley and Dreamscape Media for allowing me access to the audio book version of this book.
While the subject matter may be triggering for some (miscarriage, stillbirth), I was truly impressed with the way the author captured the feelings that come with such a loss. Kalyn Fogarty manages to take us through the feelings of hope, grief, pain, loss, shame, fear, loneliness, and everything in-between. She found a way to put into words the kind of things a mom (and dad) go through, eventually bringing us back around to hope, albeit a timid hope, but hope, nonetheless.
Having suffered a miscarriage myself before my first child was born, I can honestly say Fogarty hit every nail on the head. I think this book would have helped me heal if I'd come across it back then.
While the subject matter may be triggering for some (miscarriage, stillbirth), I was truly impressed with the way the author captured the feelings that come with such a loss. Kalyn Fogarty manages to take us through the feelings of hope, grief, pain, loss, shame, fear, loneliness, and everything in-between. She found a way to put into words the kind of things a mom (and dad) go through, eventually bringing us back around to hope, albeit a timid hope, but hope, nonetheless.
Having suffered a miscarriage myself before my first child was born, I can honestly say Fogarty hit every nail on the head. I think this book would have helped me heal if I'd come across it back then.
February 21, 2022
I picked this book up on a whim from the library and I am so glad I did. This is a story that needs to be told. The heartache that so many women go through after suffering the unbearable loss of losing a child through miscarriage was so incredibly told.
Cassidy and Owen can't wait to meet their new baby, only to lose him in the most tragic way before he had a chance to live. Cassidy struggles with all the "what-if's" and this takes a toll on her and Owen's marriage. Can they survive this loss and save their marriage at the same time?
Beautifully written, raw but yet tender, this story explores the heartache of loss, the grief as seen through the eyes of numerous people, and how to rebuild those relationships that are nearing breaking points. This book made me cry so many tears of heartbreak but also of happiness in the end.
Cassidy and Owen can't wait to meet their new baby, only to lose him in the most tragic way before he had a chance to live. Cassidy struggles with all the "what-if's" and this takes a toll on her and Owen's marriage. Can they survive this loss and save their marriage at the same time?
Beautifully written, raw but yet tender, this story explores the heartache of loss, the grief as seen through the eyes of numerous people, and how to rebuild those relationships that are nearing breaking points. This book made me cry so many tears of heartbreak but also of happiness in the end.
February 20, 2023
Even if we lose them, we still carried them. They were a part of us, they were born, but we didn't get to take them home. This fictitious book dives into some of the emotions and grief that come with losing a baby... if you are so inclined to understand the depth of our sorrows, I recommend giving this book a try...
I pray that none of you ever have to go thru what I went thru 💔
I pray that none of you ever have to go thru what I went thru 💔
February 17, 2022
This was a great book but very emotional. If you are pregnant or trying to get pregnant this is probably not the best book to read.
August 14, 2021
A beautiful, thought provoking tribute to the scars we carry but don’t ever talk about. While about pregnancy and miscarriage at its core, This book appeals to all who have loved and lost with its exploration of grief and the process of moving forward but never on.
The multi person narrative is a gentle reminder to approach everyone with a loving kindness never knowing the secrets they hold and the pain they carry.
This book touched me so deeply and I feel like I am better for having read it.
The multi person narrative is a gentle reminder to approach everyone with a loving kindness never knowing the secrets they hold and the pain they carry.
This book touched me so deeply and I feel like I am better for having read it.
March 21, 2021
Talking about grief and trauma is never easy and, although sharing those experiences can help demystify them, it is understandable that people who have experienced loss often find it hard to revisit their pain. With this in mind, the first thing that must be acknowledged is Kalyn Fogarty’s courage and strength to have written this novel in the first place.
The story begins with the protagonist, Cassidy, going through a miscarriage. It is a raw, painful and extremely powerful opening. From then on, the story is told from the points of view of Cassidy, as well as her husband, Owen, her sister, Claire, and her mother, Joan. They each deal with their grief in their own way, and they often conflict. The majority of the novel, however, is presented though Cassidy’s POV as she tries to come into terms with what happened and struggles to accept or even acknowledge other people’s experiences. She is often stubborn, argumentative and acts as if she can control all variables in her life (not reacting very well when things don’t go her way). The other main characters provide different attitudes: Owen is a fixer, Claire is a mediator, and Joan is judgemental and often clueless.
Told in first-person, present tense, the narrative can at times feel strange as people don’t tend to narrate their actions as they happen and many of the realisations they have would more likely occur in hindsight. However this choice adds a sense of immediacy to the most painful moments and perhaps helps the readers sympathise with the characters.
This is a beautiful novel and there are many moments when it is hard to hold back the tears. It is brave enough to deal with extremely painful emotions head-on and to demonstrate that “everyone loves different (...) you can’t guess at other people’s pain.” It also importantly acknowledges that women can be more than one thing at a time and do not need to define or limit themselves.
Kalyn Fogarty did an extremely good job at confronting, dealing with, and sharing her pain in an open, vulnerable yet healing way and it would be great to see more works like this one: works that can help people feel less isolated, less guilty – and more human.
The story begins with the protagonist, Cassidy, going through a miscarriage. It is a raw, painful and extremely powerful opening. From then on, the story is told from the points of view of Cassidy, as well as her husband, Owen, her sister, Claire, and her mother, Joan. They each deal with their grief in their own way, and they often conflict. The majority of the novel, however, is presented though Cassidy’s POV as she tries to come into terms with what happened and struggles to accept or even acknowledge other people’s experiences. She is often stubborn, argumentative and acts as if she can control all variables in her life (not reacting very well when things don’t go her way). The other main characters provide different attitudes: Owen is a fixer, Claire is a mediator, and Joan is judgemental and often clueless.
Told in first-person, present tense, the narrative can at times feel strange as people don’t tend to narrate their actions as they happen and many of the realisations they have would more likely occur in hindsight. However this choice adds a sense of immediacy to the most painful moments and perhaps helps the readers sympathise with the characters.
This is a beautiful novel and there are many moments when it is hard to hold back the tears. It is brave enough to deal with extremely painful emotions head-on and to demonstrate that “everyone loves different (...) you can’t guess at other people’s pain.” It also importantly acknowledges that women can be more than one thing at a time and do not need to define or limit themselves.
Kalyn Fogarty did an extremely good job at confronting, dealing with, and sharing her pain in an open, vulnerable yet healing way and it would be great to see more works like this one: works that can help people feel less isolated, less guilty – and more human.
June 25, 2021
An intimate and emotional character-driven saga that works it’s way deep inside your heart - “What we carry” is a heart-wrenching story of grief, of loss, and of the patterns we learn early in life to manage our pain that can distort and warp our line-of-sight to healing.
Sometimes, a character in a book is so well-crafted, so nuanced, and so thoughtfully layered that you feel you know her. You don’t always like her, - you may even dislike her at some points in time - but she is authentic and she is hurting and you understand her and find her story deeply touching.
Cassidy, our main protagonist, is such a character. Cassidy is a veterinarian, a wife, a daughter and a sister. She is a bundle of want, of desire, of control, of science, and of intelligence. The oldest child of a mother with alarmingly narcissistic traits, Cassidy has learned to wind up her pain into tight little packets of safety - each painful wound guarded by layers of anger, rejection, or sarcasm - targeted to deflect, dehumanize, and head off any possibility of human approach (evil or life-affirming) with one fell swoop.
Owen, Cassidy’s husband, is a sweet and simple man, raised in a “big old farmhouse” in Kansas by plain-speaking, agenda-less, conscientious parents. Owen has learned to wear his heart on his sleeve and only wants to love and support and make Cassidy’s life better. “If I could take her pain away and make it my own, I would’. It’s not surprising that Cassidy fell in love with Owen - surviving as a couple though, is another matter entirely.
It takes a terrible tragedy to turn Cassidy and Owen’s life inside out, and as the drama plays out it is not at all certain that a full emotional recovery for their family unit is possible. As we follow the twists and turns of each of their well-primed reactions, their struggles, and the questions that remain, it’s impossible not to read on, with a lump in your throat, hoping for the very best, yet fearing the worst, until the final dramatic and harrowing resolution.
(No spoilers here). I will leave it to you to read the book, but let me just say, I loved the time I spent with these special people, (some of them more so than others), and long after the story ended, found myself remembering, and thinking about, - motherhood, love, loss, and the pain we reveal.
A great big thank you to the author for an advance review copy of this wonderful book. All thoughts presented are my own.
Sometimes, a character in a book is so well-crafted, so nuanced, and so thoughtfully layered that you feel you know her. You don’t always like her, - you may even dislike her at some points in time - but she is authentic and she is hurting and you understand her and find her story deeply touching.
Cassidy, our main protagonist, is such a character. Cassidy is a veterinarian, a wife, a daughter and a sister. She is a bundle of want, of desire, of control, of science, and of intelligence. The oldest child of a mother with alarmingly narcissistic traits, Cassidy has learned to wind up her pain into tight little packets of safety - each painful wound guarded by layers of anger, rejection, or sarcasm - targeted to deflect, dehumanize, and head off any possibility of human approach (evil or life-affirming) with one fell swoop.
Owen, Cassidy’s husband, is a sweet and simple man, raised in a “big old farmhouse” in Kansas by plain-speaking, agenda-less, conscientious parents. Owen has learned to wear his heart on his sleeve and only wants to love and support and make Cassidy’s life better. “If I could take her pain away and make it my own, I would’. It’s not surprising that Cassidy fell in love with Owen - surviving as a couple though, is another matter entirely.
It takes a terrible tragedy to turn Cassidy and Owen’s life inside out, and as the drama plays out it is not at all certain that a full emotional recovery for their family unit is possible. As we follow the twists and turns of each of their well-primed reactions, their struggles, and the questions that remain, it’s impossible not to read on, with a lump in your throat, hoping for the very best, yet fearing the worst, until the final dramatic and harrowing resolution.
(No spoilers here). I will leave it to you to read the book, but let me just say, I loved the time I spent with these special people, (some of them more so than others), and long after the story ended, found myself remembering, and thinking about, - motherhood, love, loss, and the pain we reveal.
A great big thank you to the author for an advance review copy of this wonderful book. All thoughts presented are my own.
March 30, 2021
Few losses are as shattering as the death of a child, but when that loss occurs as a miscarriage, parents often find themselves isolated in their grief. In WHAT WE CARRY, Kalyn Fogarty deftly traces Cassidy and Owen’s struggle to cope with the devastating late-term loss of their son. This fresh, unflinchingly honest story depicts the chronic ache of grief, the challenge of self-forgiveness, and ultimately, the achievement of a new sense of balance. With fully drawn characters that will live in your heart long after the last page, this moving portrait is not to be missed.
June 7, 2022
Really liked this one more than I thought I would!! Some details annoyed me like why is Owen so scared of talking about periods (?) and the "Kansas boy" cliches were a bit much lol BUT Kalyn Fogarty described and explained grief so well which I feel like is generally so hard to capture. Each character's emotions and thoughts were fully laid out on the table with so much depth and complexity. I am also personally a huge fan of the multiple perspectives, I felt like I understood the characters so well and it kept the novel from getting too repetitive / losing me along the way!
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