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In Vein #3
Heroin Stained Hearts
After a terrifying health scare, Ander is finally getting the help he needs.
He's running out of options and needs the treatment.
The only thing is, he hasn't been honest with Hadley.
One truth leads to a cascade of events that all circle back to one thing... Ander's addiction.
Life is never easy and the road to recovery is paved with shattered glass.
Hadley's in love with an addict that harbors more secrets than Pandora's Box.
Ander is in love with the girl that deserves more than he can give her.
Their love was built on a mountain of lies and broken promises.
When it all comes crashing down, will their love survive?
Or will they finally fall apart?
He's running out of options and needs the treatment.
The only thing is, he hasn't been honest with Hadley.
One truth leads to a cascade of events that all circle back to one thing... Ander's addiction.
Life is never easy and the road to recovery is paved with shattered glass.
Hadley's in love with an addict that harbors more secrets than Pandora's Box.
Ander is in love with the girl that deserves more than he can give her.
Their love was built on a mountain of lies and broken promises.
When it all comes crashing down, will their love survive?
Or will they finally fall apart?
292 pages, Paperback
Published April 17, 2021
51 people are currently reading
462 people want to read
About the author
C.M. Radcliff
27 books1,016 followersC.M. Radcliff writes dark, toxic romance with a touch of suspense. She lives in Pennsylvania with her husband and two kids. If she isn't reading or writing, she's probably on a little adventure with her family.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 108 reviews
April 18, 2021
'HEROIN' is the third full length book in C.M. Radcliff's 'In Vein ' series. It picks up where the second book Black Clouds of Cotton left off. And so we continue on Ander and Hadley's journey.
This was one of my most highly anticipated books, this book tugged at me like no other, a train-wreck of emotional upheaval similar to our drug addicted hero as we moved through his mood swings throughout the book, similar to the ups and downs of the drugs flowing through his system, withdrawals at their lowest, this series plays havoc on your very being.
❝𝐈'𝐦 𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐫𝐮𝐠𝐬, 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐞𝐝. 𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐚𝐬 𝐢𝐟 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐫 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐠𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐲 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬. 𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐈 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐢𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐫 𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐭 𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐝𝐠𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. 𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐚 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐈 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐩𝐥𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐞 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧.❞
After his stint in rehab and the scare he'd had I had everything crossed that he'd turn his back on his demons, I had high hopes for him. Other than his drug of choice flowing through his veins there was one other constant in his life and that was his girlfriend Hadley. She was his reason for breathing, without her he'd spiral down into the drug fuelled abyss again.
❝𝐒𝐡𝐞'𝐬 𝐚𝐬 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐬 𝐚 𝐬𝐲𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐨𝐢𝐧.❞
But the author hasn't finished with these two yet, the angst she throws at us had me spewing at my ipad, cursing the author for wrecking havoc on my heart strings. Like a yo-yo I'm still in her grasp until the next book.
Because yet again these two have put me through the wringer, like the characters I went through the highest high riding that wave of him trying to beat the odds of his addiction to the lowest low when his demons knocked on his door.
They frustrated me, the push and pull had me swearing like a sailer, I raged like a mad woman, I begged that she walk away, the angst, the grit all had me sitting on the edge of my seat!
This series is one I highly recommend.
* Teaser used is off the authors facebook page *
April 14, 2021
ARC generously provided by the author in exchange for an honest review -
My heart, my poor barely beating heart. I just knew my heart would no longer be my own and I’d be consumed with Ander and Hadley. This couple has demolished it.
Their volatile relationship is back and going full force in book 3. They both cling to the hope that they are enough to set each other free. One from the high and one from the lies.
Hadley is trying to be strong and fight for him, but she’s tired, so tired.
Ander has hit rock bottom and isn’t sure what can pull him out.
It’s always been Hadley in the past, but is she enough this time around?
C.M. Radcliff came out swinging and didn’t hold back. This book was SO good! Even despite the serious and heavy topic. I’ve got ALL the feels. I wanted to throw my kindle a time or two, I also wanted to hug it close and cling to the good.. There is good, in both of them. Even in all the darkness, in the struggles, in the lies, in it all.
Ugh… I am nervous and excited for book 4. I’m just not sure my heart is ready for it!! It’s still in shreds from reading this! OH.MY.GOSH!!!!!
You need to start this series!! You won’t be sorry.. You will feel SO much, but you will never be sorry for letting Hadley and Ander into your heart. Even when they tear it to shreds.
My heart, my poor barely beating heart. I just knew my heart would no longer be my own and I’d be consumed with Ander and Hadley. This couple has demolished it.
Their volatile relationship is back and going full force in book 3. They both cling to the hope that they are enough to set each other free. One from the high and one from the lies.
Hadley is trying to be strong and fight for him, but she’s tired, so tired.
Ander has hit rock bottom and isn’t sure what can pull him out.
It’s always been Hadley in the past, but is she enough this time around?
C.M. Radcliff came out swinging and didn’t hold back. This book was SO good! Even despite the serious and heavy topic. I’ve got ALL the feels. I wanted to throw my kindle a time or two, I also wanted to hug it close and cling to the good.. There is good, in both of them. Even in all the darkness, in the struggles, in the lies, in it all.
Ugh… I am nervous and excited for book 4. I’m just not sure my heart is ready for it!! It’s still in shreds from reading this! OH.MY.GOSH!!!!!
You need to start this series!! You won’t be sorry.. You will feel SO much, but you will never be sorry for letting Hadley and Ander into your heart. Even when they tear it to shreds.
April 23, 2021
***5 "His own worst enemy!!!" stars***
AVAILABLE NOW
"Our love is as toxic as the poison that he shoots in his veins and just as deadly."
The way to recovery is very hard when your addiction is feeding you mind!!!
OMG!!!! Honestly, I don't know why I'm doing this on myself. This book is destroying me along Ander and Hadley, but I can't seem to stay away from the wreckage that is coming with force toward me.
This is a heartbreakingly story that is not for the faint of heart...
It is real, it is raw, it is self destructive, but just like heroin is singing to Ander, this series is singing to me like a siren and I just need to feed my addiction!!!
"How far can you push broken before it's completely shattered?"
Oh boy!!! I really thought that things will start to get better, but even from the first few chapters my heart was beating wildly of the ugly possibillities that were laying in front of our heroes.
My anxiety levels were above the red mark and my sadness was consuming me.
My heart can't handle our heroes's struggles... They are killing me with their decisions and honestly, I don't know where will lead us this toxic thing that there is between them...
"Sometimes there's too much damage done -there's nothing that will ever repair it- but that's when you learn to live with every broken piece. That's exactly what we are. A mess of broken pieces, scattered between two souls."
Ander had a wake up call in the ending of the previous book and now, he is in recovery...
The truth is that his addiction is still lying inside of him and he is feeding his mind with wrong and bad thoughts. His only way to survive is Hadley, but is she becoming another form of addiction???
The thing is that Ander is reckless and stubborn and he is holding a secret that might destroy them forever...
"I told her long ago that truths in my world are just as deadly as promises. I fucking warned her... I knew that one day the truth would be the death of us."
Hadley is still waiting Ander to collect his broken pieces, even though he broke her too. She is in love with an addict and she has finally hope for a brighter future...
And then Ander is coming back and he is shattering this false hope piece by piece.
She loves him, but for how long they will keep breaking each other????
"He loves me with every broken piece of his heroin-stained heart.
And love conquers all, right?
Once upon a time, I thought so too..."
Pfff... This is a really hard story to witness... All three books made me cry so badly. I just need something good and hopefully, we will get it on the last book. Or maybe not.
These two needs to heal from all the scars that Ander's addiction inflicted upon their hearts and souls...
Honestly, I feel sorry for both of them, but I'm not putting the blame only to Ander in here. I believe that Hadley had to do more and at some points, I got really angry with her.
Nope, don't fool yourself!!!! I'm sooooo angry with both of them and especially with Ander, but both of them had made mistakes in here and they were careless and reckless...
"How can I expect someone else to believe in me when I don't even believe in myself?" {Ander}
"You deserved to be loved, Ander. Not only by me, but you deserve your love too." {Hadley}
Please Cali, give me something good finally!!!
I can't stand anymore this hollow and hopeless feeling inside of me!!!
It's so hard to witness this nasty addiction unfold in front of my eyes and to watch the wreck that is throwing to Ander and Hadley's lives!!!
They love each other and they deserve each other, but... is love enough at this point???
"There is no happy ending to our story. Only heartbreak, addiction, and broken fucking promises."
**I receined an ARC for the exchange of an honest review**
AVAILABLE NOW
"Our love is as toxic as the poison that he shoots in his veins and just as deadly."
The way to recovery is very hard when your addiction is feeding you mind!!!
OMG!!!! Honestly, I don't know why I'm doing this on myself. This book is destroying me along Ander and Hadley, but I can't seem to stay away from the wreckage that is coming with force toward me.
This is a heartbreakingly story that is not for the faint of heart...
It is real, it is raw, it is self destructive, but just like heroin is singing to Ander, this series is singing to me like a siren and I just need to feed my addiction!!!
"How far can you push broken before it's completely shattered?"
Oh boy!!! I really thought that things will start to get better, but even from the first few chapters my heart was beating wildly of the ugly possibillities that were laying in front of our heroes.
My anxiety levels were above the red mark and my sadness was consuming me.
My heart can't handle our heroes's struggles... They are killing me with their decisions and honestly, I don't know where will lead us this toxic thing that there is between them...
"Sometimes there's too much damage done -there's nothing that will ever repair it- but that's when you learn to live with every broken piece. That's exactly what we are. A mess of broken pieces, scattered between two souls."
Ander had a wake up call in the ending of the previous book and now, he is in recovery...
The truth is that his addiction is still lying inside of him and he is feeding his mind with wrong and bad thoughts. His only way to survive is Hadley, but is she becoming another form of addiction???
The thing is that Ander is reckless and stubborn and he is holding a secret that might destroy them forever...
"I told her long ago that truths in my world are just as deadly as promises. I fucking warned her... I knew that one day the truth would be the death of us."
Hadley is still waiting Ander to collect his broken pieces, even though he broke her too. She is in love with an addict and she has finally hope for a brighter future...
And then Ander is coming back and he is shattering this false hope piece by piece.
She loves him, but for how long they will keep breaking each other????
"He loves me with every broken piece of his heroin-stained heart.
And love conquers all, right?
Once upon a time, I thought so too..."
Pfff... This is a really hard story to witness... All three books made me cry so badly. I just need something good and hopefully, we will get it on the last book. Or maybe not.
These two needs to heal from all the scars that Ander's addiction inflicted upon their hearts and souls...
Honestly, I feel sorry for both of them, but I'm not putting the blame only to Ander in here. I believe that Hadley had to do more and at some points, I got really angry with her.
Nope, don't fool yourself!!!! I'm sooooo angry with both of them and especially with Ander, but both of them had made mistakes in here and they were careless and reckless...
"How can I expect someone else to believe in me when I don't even believe in myself?" {Ander}
"You deserved to be loved, Ander. Not only by me, but you deserve your love too." {Hadley}
Please Cali, give me something good finally!!!
I can't stand anymore this hollow and hopeless feeling inside of me!!!
It's so hard to witness this nasty addiction unfold in front of my eyes and to watch the wreck that is throwing to Ander and Hadley's lives!!!
They love each other and they deserve each other, but... is love enough at this point???
"There is no happy ending to our story. Only heartbreak, addiction, and broken fucking promises."
**I receined an ARC for the exchange of an honest review**
April 20, 2021
Just when I didn’t think this series could hurt my heart anymore, Heroin Stained Hearts breaks me. Completely. Hadley and Ander continue to try to find a path forward after all the heartbreak as they battle the formidable stronghold of addiction. Their quest to determine if love can conquer perhaps the greatest disease of all- if their love is enough. Though really, at this point, the question is if their love can survive the battle.
Truth be told- Ander and Hadley’s story is getting harder and harder to read. At times it feel like walking through glass. Because they are just so toxic, so very tragically broken. As Hadley herself says, they are constantly one step forward, two steps back- and the last two installments have felt so hopeless, so painful and tragic. And not tragic in a romantic way- tragic in a truly devastating way. Ander continues to hurt Hadley, to fail her and himself as he struggles with his addition. The lies, the mistakes, the whiplash treatment of her. And Hadley has become a new form of addiction to him- his fervent love of her feeding into his addictive personality. At times she’s stringently resolved to expect him to get better, and other times she’s apologetically enabling. They love each other so much that keep thinking their love will be enough to defeat the enemy- ADDICTION. The pervasive, toxic disease of addiction. But love might not be enough. And book three really shows us that- just how unconquerable addiction can be, even for those recovering- because it is always there. At times I’ve wondered if I really want to root for them- for them to make it- it is that painful. I’ve wondered if being apart would be better for them both- and wow, isn’t that the point of this story? To make us feel how trapping addiction can be, how hopeless and consuming and destructive. I both dreaded and welcomed every passing page, the fear and power of addiction looming large. I want to believe that together they can be whole, even though they are so broken, but I feel lost as to how- just as they do.
These characters are not pretty- nor is their love. I was frustrated by them, angry, consumed by their vicious and brutal cycle. I was desperately craving any bit of hope, a small moment of peace- and folks, you won’t find it here. If you thought book 2 took us to the pits of addiction, Book 3 is even harder- because we see addiction’s battle with the hope of recovery, and it makes the fall all the harder. More devastating. I wish their story had progressed a bit more in this book- but again, I think that’s the point- they are stuck in an unbreakable cycle. A cycle that will break them if they don’t break it. Both of them broke my heart- and we truly have three enemies here, Ander’s addiction, Hadley’s enabling, and their toxic need for each other. A need that has them making destructive decisions- because they either can’t or won’t prioritize themselves. For Ander, because he doesn't’ feel worthy, and for Hadley because she believes her love can heal him.
Honestly, I’m a bit terrified for our conclusion- because the path to a happily ever after for these two is feeling less and less likely. But I still have small glimmers of hope, mostly because my heart needs to know that love can win. That love CAN be enough- but, I know the final leg of their journey won’t be easy, and right now, their demons feel too formidable to defeat.
March 12, 2022
Ander baby. You’re breaking my heart.
“I’ll always be there for him, but I don’t know if I’ll survive another trip into the depths of hell with him. The air has grown cold and the wind is beginning to swell as a treacherous storm bruise. I don’t know if I’ll survive this season of Ander.”
Hadley and Ander’s toxic relationship continues in the third installment of the In Vein Series. Ander kept a serious health scare hidden from Hadley despite possibly spreading the disease to her. With that and being sober, he’s suddenly realizing with his health scare-he’s not in school, he has no job, he still lives with his mother, and it’s all just simply too much for him to cope with. He feels like he’s not worthy of Hadley who is standing on her own two feet and he can’t even take care of his own girlfriend.
It’s really emotional to be inside of someone’s head that thinks of themselves so low.
Ander is a heartbreakingly beautiful character.
Hadley is madly in love with him but the relationship is so toxic that when she finally realizes the only thing she can possibly do is to step back, it’s easier said than done.
“Ander isn’t the only one who has an addiction. I am his new heroine, but he has always been my drug of choice.”
“This is what love looks like between us. It’s brutal, it’s relentless, and it fucking hurts.”
This relationship comes to an extreme crash. There is no happily ever after in this third book. It’s extreme turmoil. It’s watching two individuals claw at each other for sanctuary but they are only dragging each other further to hell. So what happens when these two finally walk away from each other? I guess we’re about to find out.
5/5
“I’ll always be there for him, but I don’t know if I’ll survive another trip into the depths of hell with him. The air has grown cold and the wind is beginning to swell as a treacherous storm bruise. I don’t know if I’ll survive this season of Ander.”
Hadley and Ander’s toxic relationship continues in the third installment of the In Vein Series. Ander kept a serious health scare hidden from Hadley despite possibly spreading the disease to her. With that and being sober, he’s suddenly realizing with his health scare-he’s not in school, he has no job, he still lives with his mother, and it’s all just simply too much for him to cope with. He feels like he’s not worthy of Hadley who is standing on her own two feet and he can’t even take care of his own girlfriend.
It’s really emotional to be inside of someone’s head that thinks of themselves so low.
Ander is a heartbreakingly beautiful character.
Hadley is madly in love with him but the relationship is so toxic that when she finally realizes the only thing she can possibly do is to step back, it’s easier said than done.
“Ander isn’t the only one who has an addiction. I am his new heroine, but he has always been my drug of choice.”
“This is what love looks like between us. It’s brutal, it’s relentless, and it fucking hurts.”
This relationship comes to an extreme crash. There is no happily ever after in this third book. It’s extreme turmoil. It’s watching two individuals claw at each other for sanctuary but they are only dragging each other further to hell. So what happens when these two finally walk away from each other? I guess we’re about to find out.
5/5
May 12, 2021
Can I just say WOW!
Third book of the In Vein series and let me just say this by far the most emotional and raw thing I read this week. This book had me crying at a lot of parts and I really hope everything works out for Ander and Hadley.
So Ander come back from 3 months of treatment or rehab or whatever he was doing to get help. He and Hadley are back in their relationships and Ander promises he's clean. At first I was like this going to work they'll be fine because as I got further along in this series, I got really attached to the characters. Well you know them and their toxic relationship had to screw everything up. *Sigh*
This book left in a cliffhanger and the fourth book doesn't come out until mid June. WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO NOW!!!
Third book of the In Vein series and let me just say this by far the most emotional and raw thing I read this week. This book had me crying at a lot of parts and I really hope everything works out for Ander and Hadley.
So Ander come back from 3 months of treatment or rehab or whatever he was doing to get help. He and Hadley are back in their relationships and Ander promises he's clean. At first I was like this going to work they'll be fine because as I got further along in this series, I got really attached to the characters. Well you know them and their toxic relationship had to screw everything up. *Sigh*
This book left in a cliffhanger and the fourth book doesn't come out until mid June. WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO NOW!!!
April 12, 2021
Ander and Hadley continue to own my heart. I feel their broken parts to the bone; their emotions are my emotions and their pain is my pain. Talk about a toxic relationship! But that’s the thing about addiction and drug abuse… it’s not a pretty story and neither is theirs. And I couldn’t get enough.
**Heroin Stained Hearts is book #3 of the In Veins series and cannot be read as a standalone.
**Heroin Stained Hearts is book #3 of the In Veins series and cannot be read as a standalone.
April 13, 2021
'𝑯𝒆 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒔 𝒎𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚 𝒃𝒓𝒐𝒌𝒆𝒏 𝒑𝒊𝒆𝒄𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒐𝒊𝒏-𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒅 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕. 𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒒𝒖𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝒂𝒍𝒍, 𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡?'
My heart is so broken...again ! Heroin Stained Hearts is the third book in the In Vein series and it’s just as intense, raw, heartbreaking and uncensored as the others, if not more so.
Ander and Hadley’s relationship absolutely killed me this time around. The anxiety, the angst, the darkness and the characters with their struggles and demons hurt so good, it was almost too much at times.
‘𝑷𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝒈𝒐 𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒊𝒏 𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒂𝒅 𝒊𝒕'𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒐𝒏𝒍𝒚 𝒘𝒂𝒚 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒘𝒆 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒊𝒕.'
These characters and this series has completely consumed me and I can’t wait for book four to come this June.
If you have not started this series I highly recommend you do so ASAP, especially those of you who love a tragic love story.
Thank you to C.M. Radcliff and Give Me Books PR for providing me with an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
Please note:
- This book does contain scenes/topics that some readers may find disturbing and/or triggering.
- It also ends on a cliffhanger.
- Book one and two must be read first in order to understand the storyline.
My heart is so broken...again ! Heroin Stained Hearts is the third book in the In Vein series and it’s just as intense, raw, heartbreaking and uncensored as the others, if not more so.
Ander and Hadley’s relationship absolutely killed me this time around. The anxiety, the angst, the darkness and the characters with their struggles and demons hurt so good, it was almost too much at times.
‘𝑷𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝒈𝒐 𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒊𝒏 𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒂𝒅 𝒊𝒕'𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒐𝒏𝒍𝒚 𝒘𝒂𝒚 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒘𝒆 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒊𝒕.'
These characters and this series has completely consumed me and I can’t wait for book four to come this June.
If you have not started this series I highly recommend you do so ASAP, especially those of you who love a tragic love story.
Thank you to C.M. Radcliff and Give Me Books PR for providing me with an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
Please note:
- This book does contain scenes/topics that some readers may find disturbing and/or triggering.
- It also ends on a cliffhanger.
- Book one and two must be read first in order to understand the storyline.
April 15, 2021
Heroin Stained Hearts by C.M.Radcliff continues the dark and angsty journey of an addict and his love-hate life. This story is getting more heartbreaking and raw with each new instalment. And I cannot see where it will take me finally.
Ander finally went to rehab after he was seriously sick from his addiction. But he is still not in the right head space. And so he leaves the rehab without completing his treatment. Hadley doesn't know how to behave..she is anxious and weary. But she loves him so much and wants to support him even if it means killing herself. Will Ander destroy her finally?
The angst is the real hero here. The author brought all the authentic and uncomfortable feels and she didn't hold back. Their love is toxic, messed up and unreasonable. Seriously, Hadley shouldn't try to defend Ander and take care of him when Ander is only giving her lies and pain. Ander knows he is tearing her apart but her love is the only light in her dark mind and he is desperately clinging to it. You can feel the devastation, the intensity, the aching attraction between Hadley and Ander. And my heart was breaking for them over and over again. The emotions will smother you and choke you. A broken girl with endless blind love who gives and gives. A worse kind of broken boy who hurts everyone and mostly himself. He is drowning in depression, anger, frustration and he is projecting it to everyone around.
Now this story is the first time when I was really really really angry and disappointed with Ander. He is self sabotaging and refusing to take help. I am equally angry with Hadley for enabling him and not taking care of her heart. You can say that the author wanted me to feel so and it may be right but it didn't sit right with me.I feel this story didn't progress at all and I am stuck in a vicious cycle. Like the same things from first and second book are happening over and over in slightly different way.
If you start reading In Vein series by C.M. Radcliff, enter at your own risk because your heart will never be the same.
I reviewed an early copy voluntarily
Ander finally went to rehab after he was seriously sick from his addiction. But he is still not in the right head space. And so he leaves the rehab without completing his treatment. Hadley doesn't know how to behave..she is anxious and weary. But she loves him so much and wants to support him even if it means killing herself. Will Ander destroy her finally?
The angst is the real hero here. The author brought all the authentic and uncomfortable feels and she didn't hold back. Their love is toxic, messed up and unreasonable. Seriously, Hadley shouldn't try to defend Ander and take care of him when Ander is only giving her lies and pain. Ander knows he is tearing her apart but her love is the only light in her dark mind and he is desperately clinging to it. You can feel the devastation, the intensity, the aching attraction between Hadley and Ander. And my heart was breaking for them over and over again. The emotions will smother you and choke you. A broken girl with endless blind love who gives and gives. A worse kind of broken boy who hurts everyone and mostly himself. He is drowning in depression, anger, frustration and he is projecting it to everyone around.
Now this story is the first time when I was really really really angry and disappointed with Ander. He is self sabotaging and refusing to take help. I am equally angry with Hadley for enabling him and not taking care of her heart. You can say that the author wanted me to feel so and it may be right but it didn't sit right with me.I feel this story didn't progress at all and I am stuck in a vicious cycle. Like the same things from first and second book are happening over and over in slightly different way.
If you start reading In Vein series by C.M. Radcliff, enter at your own risk because your heart will never be the same.
I reviewed an early copy voluntarily
June 9, 2021
Sheesh
‘𝙒𝙚’𝙧𝙚 ******* 𝙙𝙧𝙤𝙬𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙫𝙞𝙤𝙡𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙨𝙚𝙖 𝙤𝙛 𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚. 𝙉𝙚𝙞𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙤𝙛 𝙪𝙨 𝙗𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙠 𝙩𝙝𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙪𝙧𝙛𝙖𝙘𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙘𝙖𝙩𝙘𝙝 𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙗𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙝. 𝙄 𝙙𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙 𝙖𝙞𝙧 𝙖𝙨 𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙨 𝙄 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙝𝙞𝙢. 𝙃𝙚’𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙤𝙣𝙡𝙮 𝙤𝙭𝙮𝙜𝙚𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙄’𝙡𝙡 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙.‘
Every time I come back to this series, I swear that things will get better, that my heart won’t be ripped out, that something will change.
I’m wrong, and yet I continue to do it. I can’t help myself. I’ve been infected by the poison and finding out what’s next may be the only antidote.
As always, this was a gritty, dark, and deep ride to the pits of Hell, without the benefit of a cushioned landing. Ander & Hadley are in the depths of addiction, and in the throes of young love, being torn apart even as they try to hold on.
My heart breaks with each turn of the page, and yet somehow I can still see the light at the end of the tunnel. I’m just not sure if it’s a beautiful ending or an oncoming train. I just have to hold on and hope for the best.
This one gutted me, but maybe the next one will piece me back together. (There’s that never ending hope.)
‘𝙒𝙚’𝙧𝙚 ******* 𝙙𝙧𝙤𝙬𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙫𝙞𝙤𝙡𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙨𝙚𝙖 𝙤𝙛 𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚. 𝙉𝙚𝙞𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙤𝙛 𝙪𝙨 𝙗𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙠 𝙩𝙝𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙪𝙧𝙛𝙖𝙘𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙘𝙖𝙩𝙘𝙝 𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙗𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙝. 𝙄 𝙙𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙 𝙖𝙞𝙧 𝙖𝙨 𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙨 𝙄 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙝𝙞𝙢. 𝙃𝙚’𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙤𝙣𝙡𝙮 𝙤𝙭𝙮𝙜𝙚𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙄’𝙡𝙡 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙.‘
Every time I come back to this series, I swear that things will get better, that my heart won’t be ripped out, that something will change.
I’m wrong, and yet I continue to do it. I can’t help myself. I’ve been infected by the poison and finding out what’s next may be the only antidote.
As always, this was a gritty, dark, and deep ride to the pits of Hell, without the benefit of a cushioned landing. Ander & Hadley are in the depths of addiction, and in the throes of young love, being torn apart even as they try to hold on.
My heart breaks with each turn of the page, and yet somehow I can still see the light at the end of the tunnel. I’m just not sure if it’s a beautiful ending or an oncoming train. I just have to hold on and hope for the best.
This one gutted me, but maybe the next one will piece me back together. (There’s that never ending hope.)
April 22, 2021
This book is one of those that will stay with you for a while. Ander and Hadley's story continues here and gave me all the emotional upheaval I could take. The author has a way of telling Ander's story of addiction and truly making us see him and his struggles. This is intense but so good.
February 27, 2023
i am in pain
April 22, 2021
In truth? This was a hard book for me to get through. Not because it wasn't well written, or because I've fallen out of love with Hadley and Ander.. but because it's just so toxic and painful, which I know is the point.. but gosh damn. My soul literally *ached* from reading this.
All of Ander's decisions, regardless from how well-meaning he meant them, just keeps destroying everyone around him. Hadley is a ghost of her former self, and she's just as bad as Ander. Only her form of addiction doesn't come from a needle, but the highs and lows from his love. Just like Hadley herself states, their entire relationship is one step forward, three steps back. Just when they think they are getting somewhere, something (usually Ander's own self destructive behavior) ruins the little progress they have made. Plus they make the worst possible decisions. Hadley is more spiteful than she's ever been, which I understand (even if it makes me want to shake her) but she's also Ander's enabler. She can talk tough as much as she wants, but she quickly crumbles her resolve whenever he so much as looks at her. I'm not so sure if I'm even wanting them to find happiness -- if they even can-- at this point. There's so much heartbreak and utter devastation that they have both done to each other.. and at this point, even if Ander is able to free himself from the death grip his addiction has on him, I'm not sure if they even should be together. At what point is love enough? Can you constantly ruin yourself in attempts to put someone else back together? Can you love another when you have no love or regard for yourself? I don't know if these two can ever come back and find a semblance of a healthy relationship. The romantic in me so desperately wants them to.. but I just don't know if they can. Or if they should.
As someone who has first hand accounts of what addiction does to a person, and those around them -- and my case actually being heroin (note: it wasn't me who was addicted.)-- this is a hard series to read. Can love prevail? Yes. Should you continue to place your heart in the hands of someone who has abused it and turned your love into something so incredibly mangled that you don't even know what it looks like anymore? No. At some point you have to have self-preservation to get out of a damaging situation, even if you don't want to. I want to sprout off all the instances where love, no matter what form, can help someone from their addictions.. but ultimately it is up to the person who is addicted to want to get clean. To want to be better. To want to stop, regardless of how much that addiction has messed with their lives. If you don't have that resolve, ultimately you will be doing the same song and dance that Hadley and Ander are currently in. It's toxic as hell, and I don't wish that on anyone.
I'm hoping our characters can find some form of peace and happiness, regardless of what that looks like for them as a couple. I hope Ander is able to get rid of all of his demons, I hope Hadley realizes that it's not her fault that Ander continues to relapse.. and I hope they will finally be free once and all from all toxic behavior. I'm just not sure if that can realistically happen.
I do love Sloane and Troy though. I hope they get their own book(s) or at the very least we know how they end up. They seem to have a really stable friendship, and I love how Troy is always in Hadley's corner, regardless of the friendship he once shared with Ander. I just truly love these two.
This series is still definitely worth reading, just please be careful to your mental health. This is a hard book/series to read because of how real the subject matter it is.. so just please be careful to yourselves.
**I received an ARC of this book and these are my honest opinions.**
All of Ander's decisions, regardless from how well-meaning he meant them, just keeps destroying everyone around him. Hadley is a ghost of her former self, and she's just as bad as Ander. Only her form of addiction doesn't come from a needle, but the highs and lows from his love. Just like Hadley herself states, their entire relationship is one step forward, three steps back. Just when they think they are getting somewhere, something (usually Ander's own self destructive behavior) ruins the little progress they have made. Plus they make the worst possible decisions. Hadley is more spiteful than she's ever been, which I understand (even if it makes me want to shake her) but she's also Ander's enabler. She can talk tough as much as she wants, but she quickly crumbles her resolve whenever he so much as looks at her. I'm not so sure if I'm even wanting them to find happiness -- if they even can-- at this point. There's so much heartbreak and utter devastation that they have both done to each other.. and at this point, even if Ander is able to free himself from the death grip his addiction has on him, I'm not sure if they even should be together. At what point is love enough? Can you constantly ruin yourself in attempts to put someone else back together? Can you love another when you have no love or regard for yourself? I don't know if these two can ever come back and find a semblance of a healthy relationship. The romantic in me so desperately wants them to.. but I just don't know if they can. Or if they should.
As someone who has first hand accounts of what addiction does to a person, and those around them -- and my case actually being heroin (note: it wasn't me who was addicted.)-- this is a hard series to read. Can love prevail? Yes. Should you continue to place your heart in the hands of someone who has abused it and turned your love into something so incredibly mangled that you don't even know what it looks like anymore? No. At some point you have to have self-preservation to get out of a damaging situation, even if you don't want to. I want to sprout off all the instances where love, no matter what form, can help someone from their addictions.. but ultimately it is up to the person who is addicted to want to get clean. To want to be better. To want to stop, regardless of how much that addiction has messed with their lives. If you don't have that resolve, ultimately you will be doing the same song and dance that Hadley and Ander are currently in. It's toxic as hell, and I don't wish that on anyone.
I'm hoping our characters can find some form of peace and happiness, regardless of what that looks like for them as a couple. I hope Ander is able to get rid of all of his demons, I hope Hadley realizes that it's not her fault that Ander continues to relapse.. and I hope they will finally be free once and all from all toxic behavior. I'm just not sure if that can realistically happen.
I do love Sloane and Troy though. I hope they get their own book(s) or at the very least we know how they end up. They seem to have a really stable friendship, and I love how Troy is always in Hadley's corner, regardless of the friendship he once shared with Ander. I just truly love these two.
This series is still definitely worth reading, just please be careful to your mental health. This is a hard book/series to read because of how real the subject matter it is.. so just please be careful to yourselves.
**I received an ARC of this book and these are my honest opinions.**
April 26, 2021
I received a copy of this book from the publisher/author to review for Stephanie's Book Reports.
After a terrifying health scare, Ander is finally getting the help he needs. He's running out of options and needs the treatment. The only thing is, he hasn't been honest with Hadley. One truth leads to a cascade of events that all circle back to one thing...Ander's addiction. Life is never easy and the road to recovery is paved with shattered glass. Hadley's in love with an addict that harbors more secrets than Pandora's Box. Ander is in love with the girl that deserves more than he can give her. Their love was built on a mountain of lies and broken promises. When it all comes crashing down, will their love survive? Or will they finally fall apart?
This is one series that has really been hard on my heart. But so worth it. Your emotions are all over the place with this one too and you just are waiting for the hammer to fall the entire time. This is the story of a very toxic relationship between Ander and Hadley. He has kept a health scare hidden from her even if he could have possibly spread it to her. But he is sober right now and realizes that he has really nothing. He isn't in school and he doesn't have a job and he even still lives with his mother. All this makes him feel like he is not worthy of Hadley because she is standing on her own two feet. He couldn't take care of her if he had to. But Hadley is beginning to see just how toxic this relationship and she is willing to take a step away from her for her own well being. This book will have you in pieces wondering is these two can get the happily ever after they both want. Will Ander ever get clean? You have to read to find out. I loved this story but man it was a hard on to read.
After a terrifying health scare, Ander is finally getting the help he needs. He's running out of options and needs the treatment. The only thing is, he hasn't been honest with Hadley. One truth leads to a cascade of events that all circle back to one thing...Ander's addiction. Life is never easy and the road to recovery is paved with shattered glass. Hadley's in love with an addict that harbors more secrets than Pandora's Box. Ander is in love with the girl that deserves more than he can give her. Their love was built on a mountain of lies and broken promises. When it all comes crashing down, will their love survive? Or will they finally fall apart?
This is one series that has really been hard on my heart. But so worth it. Your emotions are all over the place with this one too and you just are waiting for the hammer to fall the entire time. This is the story of a very toxic relationship between Ander and Hadley. He has kept a health scare hidden from her even if he could have possibly spread it to her. But he is sober right now and realizes that he has really nothing. He isn't in school and he doesn't have a job and he even still lives with his mother. All this makes him feel like he is not worthy of Hadley because she is standing on her own two feet. He couldn't take care of her if he had to. But Hadley is beginning to see just how toxic this relationship and she is willing to take a step away from her for her own well being. This book will have you in pieces wondering is these two can get the happily ever after they both want. Will Ander ever get clean? You have to read to find out. I loved this story but man it was a hard on to read.
April 7, 2021
Oh my heart! I don’t know how much more I can take 💔 Ander and Hadley’s tumultuous relationship is back in book three of this series. After Ander’s health scare in the last book he is finally ready to get the help he so desperately needs but will it work? Recovery is never easy, especially with someone so broken as Ander is. Will Hadley finally be able to get him on the right path? Oh Ander! He truly has broken my heart so many times yet I still want him to find peace. These are such complex and wonderful characters you will truly feel all the emotions they are going through. This series depicts the struggles of addiction and the consequences of your actions. Oh my heart breaks for Ander and all he puts himself through. This will tug at your heartstrings and never let go. Ander has a way of embedding himself on your soul. There is one my book in this story and I’m so worried how it will all end. Told in dual POV
📸 Teaser Collage by Miss Petite Brunette Book Blog
📸 Teaser Collage by Miss Petite Brunette Book Blog
April 15, 2021
Be still my aching heart. Once again, Hadley and Ander have taken my emotions through heaven and hell. And I am 100% here for it. The author pulls no punches in book three. We readers are left emotionally spent and satisfied. Love, addiction, obsession and darkness are themes that Cali masterfully weaves throughout this story. I took my time to read this installment as the scars from books one and two have yet to heal. I am awaiting the next book with trepidation and need. I MUST know what happens next. Great story!
April 27, 2021
This book has once again ripped all the emotions out of me and taken me down a dark rabbit hole which will hold you hostage. The author does an amazing job writing the emotions and bringing the reader right into this relationship which has so many flaws but so much true love and emotion.
Book four where are you!?!?!?!
Book four where are you!?!?!?!
April 23, 2021
Speechless! C.M. Radcliff put a lot of passion and pain into her story! The emotions that I felt were heart wrenching! You could literally feel the pain and disparity through the pages! Phenomenal writing! Fantastic story!!
April 24, 2021
This was unbelievably painful. Page after page I wondered if Hadley would survive Ander. How much more can she take before she completely shatters. Loving an addict is brutal and ugly and in this book Radcliff paints a hopeless picture of a vicious cycle and the destruction it leaves behind.
November 2, 2021
UGHHHH… *pulls hair out*
April 29, 2024
4.5⭐️😍
April 23, 2021
Wrecked me so good.
I’m addicted to these characters and how much their love tears me apart with each breath. My soul is scattered amongst the pages. I’ve grown attached to them and their struggles feel as real as if they were mine. The emotions are raw and gritty it brings me to my knees. There’s truth and pain in the words and it speaks to me on such a deep level. The intense connection between them is pure chaos and need. They’re beautifully crafted, each moment pushing you forward and making you need the next.
I’m addicted to these characters and how much their love tears me apart with each breath. My soul is scattered amongst the pages. I’ve grown attached to them and their struggles feel as real as if they were mine. The emotions are raw and gritty it brings me to my knees. There’s truth and pain in the words and it speaks to me on such a deep level. The intense connection between them is pure chaos and need. They’re beautifully crafted, each moment pushing you forward and making you need the next.
April 23, 2021
My heart 🥺
I just want to roll up into a ball and cry!! The story of Hadley and Ander is not pretty. It is a big ugly hot mess! Addiction is a horrible illness and this story makes you feel every bit of it. I want to shake so much sense into Ander, I want to wrap him up and hold him and I want him to be okay! And Hadley, God Hadley. 😭
This series is seriously so gut wrenching, truthful and eye-opening to the depths of what addiction does to those you love. Read it with an open heart. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I just want to roll up into a ball and cry!! The story of Hadley and Ander is not pretty. It is a big ugly hot mess! Addiction is a horrible illness and this story makes you feel every bit of it. I want to shake so much sense into Ander, I want to wrap him up and hold him and I want him to be okay! And Hadley, God Hadley. 😭
This series is seriously so gut wrenching, truthful and eye-opening to the depths of what addiction does to those you love. Read it with an open heart. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
May 7, 2022
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October 9, 2023
The moment all these characters die is when I will find peace. Will I read the last book? Of course, I’m curious and love to suffer. One of my toxic traits what can i say🤷♀️
November 14, 2023
Hadley is a walking, talking poster for Naranon. I need to finish this series but at the same time I don’t want it to end.
April 15, 2025
IM STRESSED
May 25, 2022
I'll leave my full review on the last book of the series...
February 10, 2022
These books really do something to me; I go from sad, to angry, to frustrated, to mad.
Sad story of love just not always being enough.
Sad story of love just not always being enough.
April 27, 2021
Ander and Hadley are back. Breaking hearts and each other’s spirits with the beautiful inevitably toxic love they share.
This poor couple is the absolute epitome of the addict and the enabler that will love them into the grave. They both are so irrevocably in love with each other.
But ultimately Ander can’t change who he is and what he does just because of Hadley. If her love was enough he would do it for her in a heartbeat, but Anders' problems are big. But Hadley knows deep down that she can just love him better, she knows she can’t keep enabling him. It’s gonna hurt and take some huge sacrifice on her part because she just can’t stay in this world of worry and stress with him. But… Has he finally broken his last straw?
This book, like the others in the series, is emotional and raw. It’s so gut wrenching and real at it’s core you can help but to be swept away into Hadley and Anders' story. To sympathize with everyone who has ever loved someone so much that they have found themselves in a continuous loop like we see here with Ander and Hadley. Their story is devastated and deep and raw and frustrating. But it’s so REAL y’all! There are couples out there like our Ander and Hadley right now and they don’t survive. So I can’t wait for book four. They have such deep strength and love that they pull from one another. Hardly is so much stronger than she knows and if anyone can be the incentive to make him get clean forever it’s her. I just hope it works.
Please read this delicious angst fest. You will be on the edge the entire time. This book is all highs and lows for our characters and all of it is magnificent writing. Get it today!!
Cr8zysockbookblock Ratings Wrap Up!
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️Five Stars for this amazing story
🔥🔥🔥🔥Four Flames because Ander and Hadley are always hella hot!
🌪🌪Cliffy- this book does not have resolution. There is book four coming in June!
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