Are you looking for a God-conscious husband who will be compatible with you?Getting married is one of the most important decisions of your life. So, before you embark on your marriage journey, you need answers so you have clarity and the confidence to find a compatible husband.
Smart Single Muslimah is a practical Muslim marriage guide for Muslim women. In the book, you'll
How to find a husbandHow to find out if you are compatibleWhat questions to ask a potential spouse?How to deal with disappointmentAdopting a smart Islamic approach to relationships is about following some simple prophetic principles that will help you change your habits and attitudes about getting married. If you want honest pre-marriage advice that addresses contemporary issues you're facing. Then you'll love Farhat Amin's perceptive book.
Buy Smart Single Muslimah to begin your marriage journey today!
Honest Islamic Life Advice I’m Farhat, an author of Smart Single Muslimah, Hands Off Our Hijab and am currently writing a book on Islam and feminism. I host the popular podcast Smart Muslima.
This book starts off by addressing the increasingly trending notion of marriage being out of fashion. If you have watched the recent interview with Malala where she questioned the importance of marriage, you would’ve been cognisant of the rise of the smart, powerful, empowered, independent woman who ‘don’t need no man’. Although I have only recently got married, this book has been illuminating and insightful in giving me the clarity and confidence that I am with the right person.
It addressed contemporary relationship issues and refutes liberal views that waters down the institution of marriage which is vital in every society, dating back to the birth of civilisation itself. This book also helped to frame my understanding of marriage in light of the Qur’an and Sunnah. I love the self-reflection questions included in this book, foregrounding the importance of building your personal identity and relationship with yourself first, before being in a committed relationship with someone else. She also dedicated a chapter on the purpose of our existence, which is essential to recalibrate our intentions, and remind us of why we are getting married in the first place, and steer us away from being too pressured about getting married.
Concluding the book is a useful list of questions to ask a potential spouse which I urge every single Muslim woman to ask, ask, ask during the ta’aruf stage. Every smart, single Muslim woman on a journey of seeking a compatible husband should read this comprehensive and honest marriage guide before finding someone who can complement you, and not complete you.
Using marriage as a gateway to escape a current challenging situation often leads people to leap into a relationship without due diligence. It’s also unrealistic to expect your spouse to ”save you”; after all, they are just as flawed as the next person.” — Smart Single Muslimah, Farhat Amin
I decided to read this book on a whim, after witnessing marital disasters I was completely pessimistic about the prospect of marriage. I couldn’t see the attraction to marriage or a close relationship that so many people my age worship. The whole “wouldn’t it be nice to share my life with someone, a companion, my own, personal fajr alarm.” — as Farhat Amin puts — didn’t appeal to me. So, after seeing multiple reviews of Farhat’s book (and it being on sale) I decided to give it a read, perhaps I’d warm up and be optimistic towards marriage.
I’d read excerpts of other (older) marriage books, and it all seemed the same, off-putting with a sprinkle of misogyny, but this book wasn’t like that, it was more a self development guide pre-marriage. Farhat used an endearing but straightforward tone, as an aunt would, the topics were very much based on questions the Muslim youth have regarding marriage e.g., when’s the best time, race, questions to ask, why you need to get married etc.
The reality is the demographic of youth today has changed from that of thirty years ago, many women work, go to university, find people themselves etc and are we prepared to answer different questions? And not just answering them based on the predisposed secular mindset but from the Islamic worldview. That’s what Farhat aims to do with this book, or at least what I gauged as the reader.
I appreciated the addition of personal anecdotes from sisters who shared their struggles, putting the complexity of the present matter in perspective. The emphasis on self reflection and development within this book stood out, rightly so, unfortunately in our individualistic society it’s brushed under the carpet. As sister Farhat says “The best way to find an honest, god-fearing person is to become an honest, god-fearing person”. Naturally (and unfortunately), we have assimilated into liberal society and adopted the culture and attitudes, which is not for the benefit of women or even men but possibly capitalist governments. In Islam, marriage is the gateway to children and intimacy, and a fulfilment of the sunnah of the Prophet ﷺ; therefore, it is a pillar in a functioning Islamic society, whereas adultery and relationships pre-marriage pose a threat to the family unit. Typically, in the west marriage is redundant, partnerships serve the same purpose, less costly, less traditional and doesn’t hold the same cultural (and misogynistic) baggage as marriage. Truthfully, this is not isolated to the west, recently Malala Yousafzai, a Pakistani activist, said:
“I still don’t understand why people have to get married. If you want to have a person in your life, why do you have to sign marriage papers, why can’t it just be a partnership?”
— Malala Yousafzai, Vogue, July 2021
There was outrage across the global Muslim community, but also those who agreed with Malala. It’s apparent that recognising these core differences and Allah’s commandments is imperative to understanding the importance of marriage in Islam.
This book is not a book on fiqh, but its main addressees are unmarried sisters and parents. It’s refreshing to read Farhat’s no nonsense writing based on Islamic teachings and morals, she also included a useful list of questions to ask potentials. There is currently a warring dichotomy (in the Muslim online sphere) between extreme feminism and the extreme alt-right and both are leaving the average Muslim confused on important life decisions, from an unbalanced perspective. I’d highly recommend this book for sisters in the same situation I was, I thought I was the only one confused, experiencing two separate realities — seeing unhappy married couples or the unmarried Twitter akhs and bints romanticising every moment of the day. Yes I’m a cynic and admittedly I still have my reservations, but this was a step forward alhamdulillah.
This book's been making the rounds on Muslim Bookstagram, so when the author offered me a review copy, I was interested to see what great advice she had to give that has everyone raving.
Oh boy, did I come to regret that.
Between the typo on the cover ("apporach"), the complete lack of editing (USE COMMAS) & the terrible formatting (everything from bad citation of sources to no distinguishing format for ahadith/ ayaat), a point was immediately lost.
Then there was the bizarre introduction, claiming that singlehood is glamorized and marriage isn't "fashionable" (no sources provided for this claim), blaming all social ills on feminism (which has certainly played a significant role, but isn't the sole cause), claiming that women are "trying to control relationships"... yeah.
While there was some super basic information in the first chapter about the importance of hayaa, & avoiding khalwah/ zina, the next couple chapters were anecdotes that may or may not have been purely made up (I.e. badly fabricated to make a poor point). One of them explicitly stated "I am less of a woman for not being a mother." Yes. It really is that bad.
Much of the book spent time insinuating that Muslim women are just too demanding & care too much about education & careers & have bad expectations & if you happen to have any negative perceptions of men, it's because you've been brainwashed and couldn't possibly be due to any traumatic life experiences. Also apparently only women say nasty things about men on Muslim Twitter.
3/4 of this book sucks. I will give credit to the final quarter, where the author speaks more pragmatically about understanding why you want to get married, having realistic expectations, the power of du'a, & dealing with rishta-related disappointment/ rejection.
Don't waste your time, money, or energy on this book. You can benefit from better resources on healthy relationships (I recommend Gottman Institute publications).
Single Muslim women don't live: they wait. Do you feel that way?
And what are Muslim women waiting for?
Are you waiting for marriage so your life can begin?
Waiting for your "Ertugrul" (or Turgut) to sweep you off your feet? Because without a husband, you are incomplete?
-Farhat Amin
If these are the dilemmas of your life or if you are going through the painful phase of multiple rejection or looking for 'that' Islamic way of choosing a groom which the society quotes but doesn't teach you how; then you must invest and read this book 'Smart Single Muslimah'.
The book talks briefly about the factual reason why the up holders of feminism look down on marriage and raising kids. I liked the way the author has stated clearly the wrongs in this society whether it's related to dating culture (beautified by the west) or Halal dating (decked by Muslim twitter).
Alongwith siting the problems faced by Muslimah the author has also given real-time solutions when choosing a partner and templates of expectations, questions and red-flags to keep in mind when searching and talking to a potential proposal within the boundaries of Islam.
The book also talks about accepting rejections and how to prepare yourself to live a life even if marriage is not written in your Qadr. The author appeals to young Muslimah to take advantage of the time in their hand and use it to learn finances, work, study, improve their household skills, stay healthy, bond with family and do all this Only to please ALLAH.
If your heart feels deserted with this entire marriage game and you are questioning your purpose in life this book is for you. It's not some kind of magical book that will get you a proposal but it's not like one of those Islamic books where they tell you 'Sabr' is the answer for everything. The book is filled with tips and proper instruction on how to go about this problem.
Jazaak Allahu khayran Farhat for sending me this book. I found it practical and it gave me a sense of tranquility. #readingfatima
Although the book is written in a manner to suit the Muslimah living in west, I found the book relevant to all the ordeals I'm going through as a person living in India and I'm sure muslimahs living in other countries who've never been married before face similar issues in current times. For divorcees and widows I believe a little more and different approach is required which they can find on Farhat Amin page, website or her podcasts.
Absolutely loved this book, it hit me in the most impactful way; a truly inspiring book. I loved everything about this book. It took a long time to finish reading it as I love to repeat reading sections.
I believe that every single sister should read this book. For those who’re not into reading, if you only wish to read one book in your lifetime, this is the book that you should choose. So much Islamically grounded advice. Very well researched and includes questions to ask a potential spouse which was so helpful. Been listening to Farhat's podcast Smart Muslima on Youtube which goes into more detail about how feminism has affected our thinking about marriage. Definitely recommend! 👍🏻
Excellent resourse for parents and single muslim women. Esp liked the interview questions suggestions. Loved the islamic refrences to assist with illustrating a point or adding weight to a subject. A well written book that once read gives you the correct tools to navigate the current marriage scene.
If your value system is anything other than following Quran & Sunnah I don't think you will take much away from this book.
The first half of the book introduces a few marriage related topics that a lot of speakers and authors do not address. These are important for developing a balanced mindset about marriage.
The stories/writings in between some of the chapters are excellent additions.
The second half of the book is full of practical actionable advice that a single Muslimah would find very helpful.
It was a good read and absolutely recommend all Muslim women to read it to know more about marriage, ourselves and life in general. I found myself highlighting some lines, taking some notes and intensively reading some sections again and again. The author has had the ability to articulate a lot of my thoughts into words. I am so grateful to Farhat for taking the time to write this. It has become a resource book and I believe each Muslimah's should have this book in her library irrespective whether they are married or single.
All I can say is Jazaki Allah Khayran for writing this book and keep up the good work. Aman x
I bought this book for my daughter(s). Before handing it to one of them, I have to go through it first. Overall, the book is suitable for all muslimah regardless they have been married or still single. For me its a reminder on what/how can I guide my daughters on their journey especially if they are ready to explore the next step of life (getting married). I was earlier clueless about what to say and how to respond if one day my daughter come to me and share that there is somebody interested to know her. This book has that guidance although not directly to a mother like me but most the points are all relevant and can be taken as reference.
Farhat does an excellent job of articulating and simplifying topics of concern that many Muslima face. This book is valuable to not only single Muslima but also recently married (like myself) and women who have been married a long time.
I recommend this book to anyone who is considering marriage and is feeling anxious about the whole process. It answers so many questions I had, and I particularly love the section with all the questions you can ask to get to know a potential :)
So happy I found this book it was honest and raw about being single which is what I needed. I don’t think feminist Muslims will like this book because she doesn't blame men for all our problems but she breaks down realistic aspects of being married and what to expect.
As a father to a daughter, this book is essential. It puts into perspective how liberal society devalues marriage and sells unrealisable expectations to our children. It details how many women that prioritised their careers and independence now regret the lack of relationships and children in their lives. This is so important especially for Muslims in the west.
Every chapter was a brand-new story, and each one piqued my interest to read more. The book is full of warmth and humour and has the power to humble you with a few lines, astound you with a paragraph, and dispel your misconceptions with a few words. It speaks to the joy, rage, hopelessness, and sadness that single sisters experience. However, the authors' passion is a recurring theme in all of the chapters. I can't wait to read this book again and cannot recommend it highly enough. Thank you
After being recommended this book countless times on Instagram by sisters and brothers, I read it this summer and it was a breath of fresh air. It clearly explains how certain ideologies have affected us, Muslim women in finding suitable spouses, but really does well to explain other issues such as the impact of racism, ageism and how we can make changes within ourselves and in society to make things easier for us. I know I’ll be reaching for this time and time again to remind myself, so grateful to the author Farhat Amin for releasing such an insightful book!
When I first started reading this book, my inner thoughts would have said, 'I would give this book 3 ⭐ only'. I agree with some of the reviews saying this book is only relatable to her geographic location with the same culture.
But if you read it with an open heart, you can get that some points were written to help Muslimah who have the least knowledge about relationships following Islamic views. I as a reader find that the first few chapters are quite controversial (I know some of you Muslimah also believe in Feminism) but reading it page by page, the practical and Islamic views were true and it is us to sit and think deeply.
We have to lower our egos and learn more about our religion, and we have to admit Islam and all other ideologies can't stand side by side. Have you seen Gaza's women who were in genocides and have you ever wondered where the heck all the so-called Feminism is when we Muslim women need their help? We have to agree those ideologies never stand with us because they were selective and never cared about us as Muslims.
I'm sorry but I have to agree with the part where our writer points out those ideologies, if you learn deeply about our religion it is enough to follow the teachings and it is our culture that makes us think that Islam is not enough to help us. The first few chapters are solely to remind us to clean our thinking before we get into a relationship.
Some of the ideas that were brought up by Farhat Amin I agree to disagree and I respect her opinions. The practical tips in the books were helpful for me, it made me want to start my first step in getting to know about marriage and be mindful to always be realistic. In Malaysia, the tips were related to 'taaruf' as some of our young Islamic friends like to preach about.
I recommend you guys listen to Dr Haifaa Younis's podcast and Farah's podcast (Uncomfortable Truths: Hippiearab podcast) to learn about the ideas of being a Muslim woman.
I pray may Allah protect our writer from devil and may we gained new knowledge upon reading this book.
It was an excellent read and absolutely recommend all my sisters to read it to know more about pre-marriage. I found myself highlighting some lines, and taking notes. The author has had the ability to articulate a lot of my thoughts in words. I am so grateful to Farhat for taking the time to write this. It has become a resource book and I believe every Muslimah should have this book.
I agree with the author it is harder for young women to find a good husband and the book dismantles many of the reasons why this is happening. Recommended reading for all young Muslim girls.
Unfortunately the grammar and amount of spelling mistakes completely put me off!
Further to this I’m not sure anything ground breaking or profound was said to leave me with any lasting impression (apart from maybe one chapter :( )
However I do appreciate that there will be a demographic of sisters that will benefit from this book and conversations held in the book do need to be had.
I recently read "Smart Single Muslimah" by Farhat Amin, and I have to say, it was truly a transformative read. As someone who has spent years navigating the complex world of relationships and dating as a Muslim woman, I found Amin's insights to be both relatable and inspiring.
In "Smart Single Muslimah," Amin offers practical guidance on how to navigate the challenges of modern dating while staying true to our values and principles. She emphasizes the importance of developing a strong relationship with Allah (SWT) as the foundation for making wise and healthy relationship decisions.
One of the things that really stood out to me about "Smart Single Muslimah" is that it is not a one-size-fits-all guide to dating and relationships. Rather, Amin offers practical advice that is grounded in Islamic principles but also takes into account the unique challenges and circumstances that we may face as Muslim women.
Overall, I would highly recommend "Smart Single Muslimah" to any Muslim woman who is looking to navigate the challenges of modern relationships with confidence and strength. Amin's insights are both practical and empowering, and they remind us that with Allah's (SWT) guidance and support, we can navigate even the most challenging situations with faith and resilience.
May Allah (SWT) bless the author for her efforts in writing this wonderful book and may it be a source of guidance and inspiration for Muslim women around the world.
The hypersexualization of women has become a serious epidemic. Kudos to sister Farhat Amin for tackling the issue instead of denying it for fear of it being taboo/shameful. It's better to accept that our society is in trouble rather than to sweep it under the carpet. It's narrow-minded to still think that this is only a problem of the western culture because it's obviously a problem in our muslim culture too. Especially with the presence of social media. Pre-marital sex has become so common that even teenagers aren't shameful of sharing their "conquests" with the public anymore.
It's not just a matter of it being haram, it's also becoming gradually physically and mentally damaging to us as humans living in a society as it objectifies us through various platforms, even mainstream media and not just adult entertainment. Women have been conditioned to grow up as objects instead of human beings. From my own experience, I've definitely felt the pressure of having to act a certain way to "satisfy" the opposite sex's sexual tastes. It's always having to dress or walk more pleasingly to their eyes, never to become a better servant for Allah.
I pray that our society recovers from this before it's too late and that Allah will forgive all our sins from the past. It's scary to see so many young lives being ruined just for falling into this trap of Tinder culture. May Allah protect us all.
This collection of writings was important, powerful, and sobering, and each lesson it taught me jolted me awake. The book presents the experiences and views of single Muslim women who were generous enough to share their wisdom with us.
Despite some references to English politics, the authors' descriptions of circumstances are universal. Which singleton hasn't struggled to marry, face racism or have an opinion on feminism. The same is true for these women. Each thoughtfuk chapter is inspiring.
Alhamdulillah, I love this book it's completely enhanced the way I view Islam, myself, emotional intelligence, and marriage. The author knows precisely what she is talking about founded on social research and comprehensive knowledge in areas that are all interconnected. I highly urge every young Muslim woman just beginning her life to read this book. And then read it again. :)
I loved all the pieces of advice in this book. There was one chapter in which made me feel uncomfortable however, I know the intention was to bring light to a very real issues. I found the some of questions be useful and something I will definitely use inshallah. Highly recommend this book!
I am thankful to Allah that I find this book. Although I am not in their circle surrounding, Muslim in the West, but I find its contents are beneficial for me, a born Muslim in the South East Asia. I highly recommend this book to women. To decide the biggest step in our life, to get married, is somehow scary. We are afraid to make the right choice that will impact the rest of our life. This book guide and teach me to decide what I want in a marriage based on my faith, not by this world and the cultural situation around me. And I love her approach on Gary Chapman 5 love languages. And I love her inspiration for her works as said in About The Author page. "By time. The human being is in loss. Except those who believe, and do good works, and encourage truth, and recommend patience." Surah Asr.
Masha Allah! Such a heartwarming and insightful book. You can feel the knowledge infused in each of the pages. I couldn't get through a page without mind-blowing realisations about life, love and the gifts of Allah, our purpose. The way this is written is very accessible for anyone. The author is someone I have followed for a long time on Instagram and when I heard she was going to come out with a book, I couldn’t be more excited! The wisdom and the way with which she conveys her message are beyond me. I feel like the book is talking directly to me. I can’t recommend this read enough- so much so that I’ve bought numerous copies as gifts and sent them to my friends.
In “Smart Single Muslimah: Transform How You Approach Love and Marriage,” Farhat Amin presents an insightful guide designed specifically for single Muslim women navigating the complexities of love and marriage within an Islamic framework. The book serves as both a practical resource and a source of empowerment, encouraging women to approach their future relationships with confidence and intentionality.
Amin’s text is structured around several key themes, each addressing critical aspects of building a healthy relationship and understanding the significance of marriage in Islamic tradition. She emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and personal growth as foundational elements for a successful partnership. This focus on self-development encourages readers to reflect on their values, needs, and aspirations, enabling them to make informed decisions about their romantic lives.
One of the standout features of “Smart Single Muslimah” is its integration of Islamic teachings and principles. Amin effectively blends traditional wisdom with contemporary perspectives, addressing the challenges that modern Muslim women face in the context of dating and marriage. By providing Quranic references and Hadiths, she grounds her advice in the teachings of Islam, reinforcing the idea that relationships should be built on mutual respect, love, and adherence to faith.
Furthermore, the author tackles common misconceptions about marriage in the Muslim community, encouraging readers to challenge societal expectations and cultural pressures. Amin advocates for open communication, discussing topics such as compatibility, shared values, and the significance of emotional intelligence in relationships. Her candid approach helps demystify the process of finding a partner, emphasizing that love and marriage can be approached thoughtfully rather than reactively.
Amin also includes practical exercises and reflection questions throughout the book, which invite readers to engage actively with the material. These interactive elements enhance the reading experience, prompting women to consider their own circumstances and what they seek in a partner. This participatory approach not only reinforces key concepts but also helps women feel more in control of their romantic journeys.
However, while “Smart Single Muslimah” successfully addresses many pertinent issues, some readers may find that it occasionally lacks depth in exploring certain cultural nuances that vary widely within the global Muslim community. A more extensive discussion of diverse cultural practices regarding marriage might have enriched the text further and made it more universally applicable.
In conclusion, “Smart Single Muslimah: Transform How You Approach Love and Marriage” is a valuable resource for single Muslim women seeking guidance in navigating the complexities of romantic relationships while remaining true to their faith. Farhat Amin’s blend of practical advice, Islamic teachings, and personal empowerment provides a constructive framework for women to approach love and marriage with confidence and clarity. This book serves as a timely reminder that, in the journey of finding love, self-awareness and intentionality are paramount, making it an essential read for those looking to cultivate meaningful relationships grounded in mutual respect and faith.