NOISE: A Manifesto Modernising Motherhood

by Danusia Malina-Derben

An urgent and vital unpacking of modern motherhood, exploring the age-old question: How can I be a mother and still be ME?

Part manifesto, part memoir, part guide; this book unflinchingly flips conventional thinking surrounding motherhood on its head. From Danusia Malina-Derben, bad-ass mother of ten, entrepreneur, thought leader, and top-rated podcast host - this is the long-awaited, no-holds-barred book on why our current thinking about modern motherhood is overdue a radical overhaul.

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From teen mother to tenured Organisational Behavior and Development academic, on to award-winning, internationally published leadership expert, Danusia knows a thing or two about what it takes to raise a happy family while never losing sight of whose heart needs to thrive to make it all work: her own.

Through decades of living at the coalface of working motherhood, Danusia searched books about motherhood that takes this tricky question - how can I be a mother and still be me? - and fruitfully answers it. Finding little that matched her own vision of motherhood, Danusia knew what needed to be done. On the one hand, this book is about being a mother, but it’s also about how, once we become mothers, we’re not allowed to be ourselves. NOISE is Danusia’s powerful dismantling of the barriers and central tenets that hold women back.

This manifesto was built to start a conversation; it’s a subversive call-to-arms to get ideas flowing through our communities, and an invitation to think differently about what we’re repeatedly told about motherhood. An intimate, bold blend of memoir, thought-leadership and research, Danusia provocatively and refreshingly reframes the NOISE around motherhood and repositions mothers as the social change agents our world desperately needs.

140 pages, Kindle Edition

Published March 28, 2021

About the author

Danusia Malina-Derben is a mother of ten children, and still her own woman. From teen mother to tenured Organisational Behavior and Development academic, and onto award-winning, internationally published leadership expert, Danusia traded academia to head a global firm that fixes corporate boardrooms and develops top talent. She also hosts two critically acclaimed companion podcasts; School for Mothers and School for Fathers. Danusia has received praise and recognition from The Sunday Times to Metro, Psychologies to Good Housekeeping. She lives in the South Downs, UK with her family, and their mini-dachshund, Dickie.

Reviews

[Jennie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I loved the premise of this book, that we need to find a better way for mothers to keep their own, separate identities, beyond kids and even career.

And I disagreed with just about everything after that. As a mother of one, I enjoy taking my toddler to activities, and planning craft projects and fun excursions. I don't do these things because I've internalized my own oppression; I do them because right now, my child is the thing in my life that I'm most enthusiastic about. If that sounds sad to you, you should know that I have a career, a loving relationship with my partner, and, like, a LOT of hobbies.

I also felt like the author said "hey, I still focus on my own stuff" but didn't quite tell us how. Is her partner the primary parent? Does she have, like, a crapload of hired childcare and household help? Even if you divest from intensive parenting, young children still need a lot of supervision and older children still need to be watched and transported places.

This just kind of left me cold. The premise felt like it should move me, but the book simply didn't.

[Alison Edgar MBE · Rating 5 out of 5]

I first came across Danusia on Clubhouse and was initially blown away that she was a mother of 10. I knew when she mentioned her book, I had to buy a copy and learn more.
It then unravels not only did she have a large brood, but held down an academic career, went on to set up her own business and podcasts. Oh and not to mention writing this book!!
I adore the book, the size and word count make it easy to read. She has cleverly split it into parts of information, the memoirs (in italics - my personal favourite parts) hearing the NOISE, exploring the NOISE and questioning the NOISE.
As a mother of older children, it made me reflect on my journey of raising two strong, confident boys, looking back at the times I enjoyed, the times I felt I could not survive another day and the days I felt I was rocking the world.
This is NOT a motherhood manual but there are implementable tips about creating the balance of being yourself and mother which I wish I had on the days I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel and lost touch with the women I was before I gave birth to my children.
Very well done Danusia.

[Lisa Barclay]

This is an excellent book which every single person should read. Danusia is excellent at breaking down the ‘Noise’ and I hope it does start a very important conversation about how the world views and treats mothers as well as the expectations placed upon them.