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Red Lip Theology: For Church Girls Who've Considered Tithing to the Beauty Supply Store When Sunday Morning Isn't Enough
A moving essay collection promoting freedom, self-love, and divine wholeness for Black women and opening new levels of understanding and ideological transformation for non-Black women and allies
“Candice Marie Benbow is a once-in-a-generation theologian, the kind who, having ground dogma into dust with the fine point of a stiletto, leads us into the wide-open spaces of faith.”—Brittney Cooper, author of Eloquent Rage and co-editor of The Crunk Feminist Collection
Blurring the boundaries of righteous and irreverent, Red Lip Theology invites us to discover freedom in a progressive Christian faith that incorporates activism, feminism, and radical authenticity. Essayist and theologian Candice Marie Benbow’s essays explore universal themes like heartache, loss, forgiveness, and sexuality, and she unflinchingly empowers women who struggle with feeling loved and nurtured by church culture.
Benbow writes powerfully about experiences at the heart of her Black womanhood. In honoring her single mother’s love and triumphs—and mourning her unexpected passing—she finds herself forced to shed restrictions she’d been taught to place on her faith practice. And by embracing alternative spirituality and womanist theology, and confronting staid attitudes on body positivity and LGBTQ+ rights, Benbow challenges religious institutions, faith leaders, and communities to reimagine how faith can be a tool of liberation and transformation for women and girls.
“Candice Marie Benbow is a once-in-a-generation theologian, the kind who, having ground dogma into dust with the fine point of a stiletto, leads us into the wide-open spaces of faith.”—Brittney Cooper, author of Eloquent Rage and co-editor of The Crunk Feminist Collection
Blurring the boundaries of righteous and irreverent, Red Lip Theology invites us to discover freedom in a progressive Christian faith that incorporates activism, feminism, and radical authenticity. Essayist and theologian Candice Marie Benbow’s essays explore universal themes like heartache, loss, forgiveness, and sexuality, and she unflinchingly empowers women who struggle with feeling loved and nurtured by church culture.
Benbow writes powerfully about experiences at the heart of her Black womanhood. In honoring her single mother’s love and triumphs—and mourning her unexpected passing—she finds herself forced to shed restrictions she’d been taught to place on her faith practice. And by embracing alternative spirituality and womanist theology, and confronting staid attitudes on body positivity and LGBTQ+ rights, Benbow challenges religious institutions, faith leaders, and communities to reimagine how faith can be a tool of liberation and transformation for women and girls.
224 pages, Hardcover
Published January 18, 2022
134 people are currently reading
2928 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 178 reviews
December 10, 2021
Candice Benbow gave me exactly what I needed to read in this book.
As a girl who has never given her life over to the church, and had a mom liberal enough to never force me to, I have always felt solid in my spirituality but grappled with organized religion d e e p l y forever. I feel like anyone taking a good look at the inner workings of the church comes away scarred. I said what I said. This book highlights why that may be accurate for women, especially Black women. I also feel like for those in church leadership who read Red Lip Theology and listen to what this sister is laying down, Candice does a pretty good job of highlighting the way forward. Trust me, there needs to be a way forward from the mess and havoc that limited, old-school, reductive church thinking has wrought in the lives of so many.
Now, I'm down with G.O.D., but I have a lot of long sideways glances for folks who think they know anything about the Entity to lead me a n y w h e r e. I can't. It's a no for me. It's a hard pass for me when folks want to share their thoughts about what they believe that the power/energy that created the UNIVERSE, that created my lineage, that created me believes how I should act or live. I think that that's part of the purpose of this book. Yo, don't let me get started!
Anyway, I think pointing out the hypocrisy of the church, and attempting to restore (or reimagine) it as a judgement-free place to congregate and celebrate the higher power was the purpose of this book. I felt that her encouraging young women towards living in their truth and putting themselves first, no matter what your church mother, church sister or church father says, was the purpose of this book. It was everything I needed to read, and I loved it. I appreciate her transparency and vulnerability. I think all young Black folks committed to that church living should read it, even if they disagree with some of the takeaways. I think those who have found themselves on the receiving end of negative church encounters, or who have found themselves pushed out of the church due to the judgment of those who were casting stones even tho they were hobbled down with sin, will find deep connection with Red Lip Theology. Candice is creating space. She's carving out space.
The fact that she shared the realities that her mother faced, contended with and overcame was powerful. The love born between her and her mother highlights the power of God. Her openness in sharing the mistakes that she made, the light and grace that she found within her own learning and explorations in humanity, the freedom she was passed from her mom, as her mom never let up on her, from a place of love, was endearing.
This book was everything.
Thanks to Netgalley for letting me read an advance copy!
Red Lip Theology comes out on Jan 11, 2022 - that's right round the corner! You should check it out!
As a girl who has never given her life over to the church, and had a mom liberal enough to never force me to, I have always felt solid in my spirituality but grappled with organized religion d e e p l y forever. I feel like anyone taking a good look at the inner workings of the church comes away scarred. I said what I said. This book highlights why that may be accurate for women, especially Black women. I also feel like for those in church leadership who read Red Lip Theology and listen to what this sister is laying down, Candice does a pretty good job of highlighting the way forward. Trust me, there needs to be a way forward from the mess and havoc that limited, old-school, reductive church thinking has wrought in the lives of so many.
Now, I'm down with G.O.D., but I have a lot of long sideways glances for folks who think they know anything about the Entity to lead me a n y w h e r e. I can't. It's a no for me. It's a hard pass for me when folks want to share their thoughts about what they believe that the power/energy that created the UNIVERSE, that created my lineage, that created me believes how I should act or live. I think that that's part of the purpose of this book. Yo, don't let me get started!
Anyway, I think pointing out the hypocrisy of the church, and attempting to restore (or reimagine) it as a judgement-free place to congregate and celebrate the higher power was the purpose of this book. I felt that her encouraging young women towards living in their truth and putting themselves first, no matter what your church mother, church sister or church father says, was the purpose of this book. It was everything I needed to read, and I loved it. I appreciate her transparency and vulnerability. I think all young Black folks committed to that church living should read it, even if they disagree with some of the takeaways. I think those who have found themselves on the receiving end of negative church encounters, or who have found themselves pushed out of the church due to the judgment of those who were casting stones even tho they were hobbled down with sin, will find deep connection with Red Lip Theology. Candice is creating space. She's carving out space.
The fact that she shared the realities that her mother faced, contended with and overcame was powerful. The love born between her and her mother highlights the power of God. Her openness in sharing the mistakes that she made, the light and grace that she found within her own learning and explorations in humanity, the freedom she was passed from her mom, as her mom never let up on her, from a place of love, was endearing.
This book was everything.
Thanks to Netgalley for letting me read an advance copy!
Red Lip Theology comes out on Jan 11, 2022 - that's right round the corner! You should check it out!
April 16, 2023
Red Lip Theology is the lens through which I understand myself as a millennial Black Woman of faith. It creates a space for both my upbringing in the Black Baptist Church of the South…. It introduced me to a God much more kind, gracious, and loving than the one I’d been given in my youth and young adulthood
I have been following Candice Benbow on twitter for a long while and when I see that she was writing a book I knew I had to read it. As a Black Women who grew up in the Baptist church who is a millennial and went to theology school I was salivating! I knew there were things she would say that I would want to read.
I’ll be honest, this was more of a memoir than I expected. I thought it was be more about theology, Black Women, Feminism, how she viewed God, and how she grappled with her faith. I wanted more of a theology and deep dive into her faith, the Bible and what it means to be a Black Millennial Woman of faith. Some of the essays I read, I took like a step back and thought, “this sounds like blasphemy” but maybe I need to sit with that and explore why I think it such and what work I need to do and how much of the Bible I need to explore.
Don’t get me wrong, the essays were well written and highly engaging, but I felt she would make statement and not explore them. It was more, “I believe this…” but didn’t show us how she came to this reasoning- giving us a biblical look into why.
Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed the essays, I still do not know exactly what Red Theology means or should be, maybe I just really wanted more theology.
So much of Western Christianity is rooted in the subjugation of women, and I had been reared in a faith tradition which largely existed to give Black men the status power white people refused them in larger society.
I have been following Candice Benbow on twitter for a long while and when I see that she was writing a book I knew I had to read it. As a Black Women who grew up in the Baptist church who is a millennial and went to theology school I was salivating! I knew there were things she would say that I would want to read.
I’ll be honest, this was more of a memoir than I expected. I thought it was be more about theology, Black Women, Feminism, how she viewed God, and how she grappled with her faith. I wanted more of a theology and deep dive into her faith, the Bible and what it means to be a Black Millennial Woman of faith. Some of the essays I read, I took like a step back and thought, “this sounds like blasphemy” but maybe I need to sit with that and explore why I think it such and what work I need to do and how much of the Bible I need to explore.
Don’t get me wrong, the essays were well written and highly engaging, but I felt she would make statement and not explore them. It was more, “I believe this…” but didn’t show us how she came to this reasoning- giving us a biblical look into why.
Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed the essays, I still do not know exactly what Red Theology means or should be, maybe I just really wanted more theology.
So much of Western Christianity is rooted in the subjugation of women, and I had been reared in a faith tradition which largely existed to give Black men the status power white people refused them in larger society.
January 16, 2022
Part memoir, part progressive theological manifesto, Red Lip Theology offers a different approach to Christianity, particularly for Black women. This faith is deeply feminist (or more specifically, womanist), sex-positive, and LGBT friendly (I'm not sure I would go quite so far as to call this LGBT-affirming, though I wish it was). The author also ties her spirituality to her identity as a Black woman, believing that God made her who she is in every way and that is beautiful.
Raised by a single mom who was shamed by the church for her unwed status, Benbow walks us through her life- the good, the bad, and the ugly- tying all of it to the development of her theology through higher education, experiences, and a lot of reading. This is structured as a series of essays, thematically tied to different steps of a makeup routine, tying back to this idea that red lipstick and all of its symbolism shouldn't be seen as inappropriate for church. This book also deals with heartbreak and grief, including the loss of her mother, and places the church can fail in how they support the grieving.
There was a lot that I liked about this and as someone who is deconstructing from the white evangelical church, it's helpful to hear someone talk about how they have found a balance between their faith in God and their values and beliefs. It's also valuable to hear the author talk about the microagressions and mistreatment she experienced as a Black woman in a predominately white theological school, and sort through the harm and the good the Black church has done as an important part of the Black community in America. It's a reminder not to throw the baby out with the bathwater so to speak. While some of my experiences are obviously different, and some of my conclusions are also different, I think this is a very valuable read. The audiobook is fantastic too! I received an audio review copy of this book from the publisher. All opinions are my own.
Raised by a single mom who was shamed by the church for her unwed status, Benbow walks us through her life- the good, the bad, and the ugly- tying all of it to the development of her theology through higher education, experiences, and a lot of reading. This is structured as a series of essays, thematically tied to different steps of a makeup routine, tying back to this idea that red lipstick and all of its symbolism shouldn't be seen as inappropriate for church. This book also deals with heartbreak and grief, including the loss of her mother, and places the church can fail in how they support the grieving.
There was a lot that I liked about this and as someone who is deconstructing from the white evangelical church, it's helpful to hear someone talk about how they have found a balance between their faith in God and their values and beliefs. It's also valuable to hear the author talk about the microagressions and mistreatment she experienced as a Black woman in a predominately white theological school, and sort through the harm and the good the Black church has done as an important part of the Black community in America. It's a reminder not to throw the baby out with the bathwater so to speak. While some of my experiences are obviously different, and some of my conclusions are also different, I think this is a very valuable read. The audiobook is fantastic too! I received an audio review copy of this book from the publisher. All opinions are my own.
December 6, 2021
I read three of the essays (We are Good Creation, God Made Me Black and Black Lace Teddies and Other Pieces I Rock Under the Anointing) as a preorder gift. When I read Candice’s words in each, I could identify with my own upbringing in the South, as a Baptist and as someone who is Black. Candice does an excellent job of bringing the reader into her world through her beautiful descriptions and her undeniable voice that is present throughout. However, in her share, I was able to have my own life mirrored back to me. It left me wanting to read more, and thankfully, I was given the opportunity to read an advance copy of the book.
This is the book I needed on the shelves when I searched Bible bookstores and Lifeway Christian when I was in high school and college for the questions that kept coming up for me about God and how I was to navigate living as a Christian. It is a book that does not condemn for questioning but gives permission to the reader to question. It does not seek to make us see God in the way Candice sees Godself, but it gives us all the ability to recognize that the way we each see God is not wrong if it doesn’t conform to the way we were brought up in the Black Church to see God.
So many times, I felt Candice was putting my feelings into words especially as it relates to how she felt in her relationship with God after the death of her mother, in her view on homosexuality and her transformation on the subject and in navigating what Christianity looked like for her. I appreciate this book so much for giving voice to so many of us who have not been able to be heard over the cries that we are sinners or are being deceived. I look forward to future books by Candice Benbow, and I’m grateful that she accepted the call on her life that her mother and pastor saw for her.
This is the book I needed on the shelves when I searched Bible bookstores and Lifeway Christian when I was in high school and college for the questions that kept coming up for me about God and how I was to navigate living as a Christian. It is a book that does not condemn for questioning but gives permission to the reader to question. It does not seek to make us see God in the way Candice sees Godself, but it gives us all the ability to recognize that the way we each see God is not wrong if it doesn’t conform to the way we were brought up in the Black Church to see God.
So many times, I felt Candice was putting my feelings into words especially as it relates to how she felt in her relationship with God after the death of her mother, in her view on homosexuality and her transformation on the subject and in navigating what Christianity looked like for her. I appreciate this book so much for giving voice to so many of us who have not been able to be heard over the cries that we are sinners or are being deceived. I look forward to future books by Candice Benbow, and I’m grateful that she accepted the call on her life that her mother and pastor saw for her.
January 23, 2022
4.5 stars
Review coming closer to publication date.
Review
Representation in media is of paramount importance to me as a Black church girl. When my mother passed away, my reason for living vanished. She was my blueprint/map of black womanhood. My whole entire life. So, I was lost for some time but then I started reading a lot of Womanist/Black Feminist texts and I found myself again! Books like Dr. Britney Cooper’s Eloquent Rage and Dr. Tamura A. Lomax's, Jezebel Unhinged gave me the representation/praxis I had been looking for. To add to this group of books that changed my life, is Red Lip Theology. I started following Ms. Benbow from Twitter many years ago and I have really seen her come into herself as a very gifted theologian and writer. This book is no exception. It is EXCELLENT. With Lipstick Theology she created a 21st-century womanist framework that is relatable to the everyday Black woman. In this book she is fearless! She talks about a lot of taboo subjects such as grief, purity culture, leaving church, mean girl academia and questioning who God is regarding Their deity and theology. She also deals with the significant issues of racism, sexism, misogynoir, and sexual assault. My favorite essays in this book are “We Should All Be Womanists,” “Black Lace Teddy’s and Other Pieces I Rock Under the Anointing,” and “Why I Left the Church.” But most of all, this book is a love letter to her beautiful and transcendent mother. I related the most of this because my mother died a few years ago and I was also lost and trying to explain to people-what I was going through was extremely difficult. This book, among the others that I mentioned before, calls out all the sins of the church against Black women and gives us space to wrestle with our spirituality. I gave the book a 4.5. It was almost perfect. I just wish that I had an index and a selected bibliography list. Overall, I really enjoyed this book and I HIGHY recommend it. Thank you, Candice, NetGalley and Convergent for the ARC of this wonderful book in exchange for an honest review.
Review coming closer to publication date.
Review
Representation in media is of paramount importance to me as a Black church girl. When my mother passed away, my reason for living vanished. She was my blueprint/map of black womanhood. My whole entire life. So, I was lost for some time but then I started reading a lot of Womanist/Black Feminist texts and I found myself again! Books like Dr. Britney Cooper’s Eloquent Rage and Dr. Tamura A. Lomax's, Jezebel Unhinged gave me the representation/praxis I had been looking for. To add to this group of books that changed my life, is Red Lip Theology. I started following Ms. Benbow from Twitter many years ago and I have really seen her come into herself as a very gifted theologian and writer. This book is no exception. It is EXCELLENT. With Lipstick Theology she created a 21st-century womanist framework that is relatable to the everyday Black woman. In this book she is fearless! She talks about a lot of taboo subjects such as grief, purity culture, leaving church, mean girl academia and questioning who God is regarding Their deity and theology. She also deals with the significant issues of racism, sexism, misogynoir, and sexual assault. My favorite essays in this book are “We Should All Be Womanists,” “Black Lace Teddy’s and Other Pieces I Rock Under the Anointing,” and “Why I Left the Church.” But most of all, this book is a love letter to her beautiful and transcendent mother. I related the most of this because my mother died a few years ago and I was also lost and trying to explain to people-what I was going through was extremely difficult. This book, among the others that I mentioned before, calls out all the sins of the church against Black women and gives us space to wrestle with our spirituality. I gave the book a 4.5. It was almost perfect. I just wish that I had an index and a selected bibliography list. Overall, I really enjoyed this book and I HIGHY recommend it. Thank you, Candice, NetGalley and Convergent for the ARC of this wonderful book in exchange for an honest review.
January 31, 2022
Red Lip Theology sets the stage for an entry point into progressive Christian thoughts. Following the routine of makeup application, Benbow takes the reader on a journey through 12 different essays, each with something unique to offer. Benbow’s Red Lip Theology is rooted in the logic of Black women thinkers and theologians. The author skillfully merges feminism and womanism, amongst other complex ideas, in ways that reify the phrase: many things can be true at once. In fact, various points in her essays reminded me of Brittney Cooper of Eloquent Rage, who maintained that there is room for God in feminism. Benbow’s compelling ideas invite the reader to rethink the church and rethink God. In fact, Benbow’s invite to rethink the image of God is reminiscent of Octavia Butler’s quote in the parable of the sower: that Gods are not always right, but they must be reasonable. And herein lurks my fear: the ideas presented by Benbow are what most traditional Christians would call “heresy/heretical.” Benbow, throughout this text, offers many controversial yet brilliant and logical ideas that may seem disturbing to many. I am careful not to speak any further even as I sit and contend with my discomfort. Benbow, no doubt, is a skillful storyteller, often employing various tones and languages (AAVE and English) to articulate her ideas. That said, there were some essays that left me unsatisfied. Having engaged with Benbow’s work, including her tweets, I felt that her voice and ideas weren’t conveyed strongly in some essays, thus rendering this brilliant work vulnerable to pushback and negative critiques.
Nevertheless, one thing is sure: this book will go down in history as one of the progressive Black women-friendly texts. Benbow’s beautiful articulation of the ideas that most people are scared to say makes this book a delicious read. I cannot wait to read more of this brilliant author’s works.
Nevertheless, one thing is sure: this book will go down in history as one of the progressive Black women-friendly texts. Benbow’s beautiful articulation of the ideas that most people are scared to say makes this book a delicious read. I cannot wait to read more of this brilliant author’s works.
December 15, 2021
I found this book to be thought-provoking and the author to be authentic however for me the book borders on being somewhat divisive and contradictory.
There are some great quotes throughout the book that show the empathy and thoughtfulness of the author. She makes a point of showing her own evolution and exposing dangerous mindsets.
I realize this is written from the author’s own experiences and perspective, but I believe it’s dangerous to preach a theology that alienates white people by painting them with a stereotypical racial/entitled paintbrush; alienates black men as self-centered and dismissive of black women, alienates black women who adhere to their traditional roles.
I do agree that religion itself, or church devoid of the character of God is hurtful and doesn’t offer God’s best.
I find this statement to be absolutely true; “I believe what God wants from us is to create a world where all are free to thrive. Anything less doesn’t represent God’s heart and what God wants for us.”
However, I think it’s contradictory of this statement; “I want a world where the ones coming behind us don’t have to fear living into their truth.”
God absolutely wants us to thrive but when it’s based on our own truth, it’s subjective. There is only one absolute truth and within its confines we are not restricted but are freed to live the lives God intended.
I was given a copy of this book courtesy Convergent Books a division of Penguin Random House through NetGalley. This is my honest opinion of the book.
There are some great quotes throughout the book that show the empathy and thoughtfulness of the author. She makes a point of showing her own evolution and exposing dangerous mindsets.
I realize this is written from the author’s own experiences and perspective, but I believe it’s dangerous to preach a theology that alienates white people by painting them with a stereotypical racial/entitled paintbrush; alienates black men as self-centered and dismissive of black women, alienates black women who adhere to their traditional roles.
I do agree that religion itself, or church devoid of the character of God is hurtful and doesn’t offer God’s best.
I find this statement to be absolutely true; “I believe what God wants from us is to create a world where all are free to thrive. Anything less doesn’t represent God’s heart and what God wants for us.”
However, I think it’s contradictory of this statement; “I want a world where the ones coming behind us don’t have to fear living into their truth.”
God absolutely wants us to thrive but when it’s based on our own truth, it’s subjective. There is only one absolute truth and within its confines we are not restricted but are freed to live the lives God intended.
I was given a copy of this book courtesy Convergent Books a division of Penguin Random House through NetGalley. This is my honest opinion of the book.
March 14, 2022
At the end of this book, all I could say was amen and amen.
I can’t say with certainty who the targeted demographic is for this book. However, I’m pretty sure I’m outside of it.
I’m a 50 year old Gen Xer. I was not reared in faith or in the Black church. I’m a college drop out.
But, the things I have in common with Candice are being Black, being a Black woman, being fat bodied, loving God, thirst for knowledge and having an incessant why.
I, too, am on a feminist, womanist journey as a part of my journey to being my best self.
I believe it was D. Danyelle Thomas (@UnfitChristian) through whom I learned of Candice. Both of them have enriched and deepened my faith and understanding.
I think I follow on Facebook and Twitter, have been to the blog, but I wouldn’t say I’m a fan, as in the sense of reading and liking every post and tweet.
But, what I appreciate is her speaking truth to power, citing sources where necessary and prompting me to look into how I’m going to get these 50lleven books hea lol.
So, when I learned a book was forthcoming, I was eager to support. Eager to read where her journey had taken her and what lessons were to be had.
In reading Red Lip Theology, I learned a few things I want to apply in my own life, as I am of the belief that every day you should learn something new and those younger than you can give you a fresh perspective, a new insight, but you have to be open to admitting that you don’t know everything AND some of the things you think you know are wrong.
The wisdom, wit and humor made this book well worth reading.
I can’t say with certainty who the targeted demographic is for this book. However, I’m pretty sure I’m outside of it.
I’m a 50 year old Gen Xer. I was not reared in faith or in the Black church. I’m a college drop out.
But, the things I have in common with Candice are being Black, being a Black woman, being fat bodied, loving God, thirst for knowledge and having an incessant why.
I, too, am on a feminist, womanist journey as a part of my journey to being my best self.
I believe it was D. Danyelle Thomas (@UnfitChristian) through whom I learned of Candice. Both of them have enriched and deepened my faith and understanding.
I think I follow on Facebook and Twitter, have been to the blog, but I wouldn’t say I’m a fan, as in the sense of reading and liking every post and tweet.
But, what I appreciate is her speaking truth to power, citing sources where necessary and prompting me to look into how I’m going to get these 50lleven books hea lol.
So, when I learned a book was forthcoming, I was eager to support. Eager to read where her journey had taken her and what lessons were to be had.
In reading Red Lip Theology, I learned a few things I want to apply in my own life, as I am of the belief that every day you should learn something new and those younger than you can give you a fresh perspective, a new insight, but you have to be open to admitting that you don’t know everything AND some of the things you think you know are wrong.
The wisdom, wit and humor made this book well worth reading.
April 5, 2023
The author and I have different views as a Christian, however this book was an interesting read. I didn’t agree with a lot of what she said and feel like she lacked support in her writing for things she stated.
March 20, 2022
Breathtakingly beautiful, honest, and unapologetic. I loved this book so much. I laughed and cried with Candice Benbow as she recounted her story (and her mother’s story). This book reads like a love letter to women who have experienced harm in seemingly “safe spaces” and who may have taken their frustrations out with God. But, as a friend of mine once said, and Candice reiterates, God can handle our questions and our frustrations. God made us the way we are, and he called us GOOD. So, leave God out of your messiness when you’re lecturing other folks on how to live and get “free.” Mind your business and your parts. MKAY?!
I didn’t expect to see so much of myself in this book. So much of my academic journey and struggles, so much of my issues with patriarchy and internalized sexism from women. I reflected on the ways others’ comments and opinions on my worthiness shaped or mis-shaped so much of my graduate life. I reflected on run-ins I’ve had with church folk as a kid and how my Mama let them folks have it. I’ve been angry at God and church many times, too. So, reading this book made visible my hurt as Candice articulated hers in ways I couldn’t. As much as this book is about falling out with “church” and the harm so many people experience there, it’s also about falling “into” ourselves and our squads. It was beautiful to read Candice’s essays and to witness how deeply she was loved and cared for by her Mom and how, even through tension and growing pains, that love was unconditional and reciprocated. It reminded me so much of the relationship I cherish with my Mom.
Red Lip Theology shows us many ways that life is going to life, and how you get through it is how you get through it. There’s no right way to navigate grief, hurt, and trauma as long as you do so in truth and with care for you. That’s what God wants for us. May we all locate our truth and live into it as fiercely as Candice does in this text. If I remember nothing else, I will remember that “I am enough, just the way that I am.” Thank you, Candice for this text. It is truly a BALM for wounded spirits and broken hearts.
I didn’t expect to see so much of myself in this book. So much of my academic journey and struggles, so much of my issues with patriarchy and internalized sexism from women. I reflected on the ways others’ comments and opinions on my worthiness shaped or mis-shaped so much of my graduate life. I reflected on run-ins I’ve had with church folk as a kid and how my Mama let them folks have it. I’ve been angry at God and church many times, too. So, reading this book made visible my hurt as Candice articulated hers in ways I couldn’t. As much as this book is about falling out with “church” and the harm so many people experience there, it’s also about falling “into” ourselves and our squads. It was beautiful to read Candice’s essays and to witness how deeply she was loved and cared for by her Mom and how, even through tension and growing pains, that love was unconditional and reciprocated. It reminded me so much of the relationship I cherish with my Mom.
Red Lip Theology shows us many ways that life is going to life, and how you get through it is how you get through it. There’s no right way to navigate grief, hurt, and trauma as long as you do so in truth and with care for you. That’s what God wants for us. May we all locate our truth and live into it as fiercely as Candice does in this text. If I remember nothing else, I will remember that “I am enough, just the way that I am.” Thank you, Candice for this text. It is truly a BALM for wounded spirits and broken hearts.
March 7, 2023
I enjoyed the author’s transparency and learned a lot about cross-generational relations as it pertains to theology.
November 27, 2021
Candice Benbow’s beloved Mother was right, her calling is bigger than the four walls of the church.
Red Lip Theology is not only a breath of fresh air for people struggling to lean fully into their faith and personhood with authenticity, this sacred text also serves as a call to action to tap into the beauty of truth-telling, and use our voices to center the marginalized and set the captives free.
This sacred text is for the Black women who are recovering from internalizing messages of our bodies not being our own, to the point of sacrificing themselves, their dreams, and visions for the greater good. Her voice awakens and affirms the inner voice of Black women, giving strength to trust ourselves and permission to show up whole and well.
The tone of the book felt authentic, unapologetic, and sincere. The content was relatable. This book will challenge those who have little interest in reimagining how humans of all walks of life experience the Divine. It explores what is possible if we do the work of unpacking, unlearning, and relearning the mysteries and wonder of life, and our relationship with The Most High.
I wish I had this book two decades ago. In the same breath, I am thankful this voice exist today, as I no longer feel alone in my thoughts, and know what is possible. I recommend this book for the women who have been there and done that, yet need to be reminded that wholeness is possible and reimagining it, is holy. I recommend this book for young Black women attempting to navigate life in their formative years, so they know they are not on this journey alone. This is a book which will be on my bookshelf, visible for my daughter (and son) to see, and be exposed to when they are ready. Lastly, I also recommend this book for men, and non-black people who are willing to be challenged, yet interested in showing up for Black women and marginalized people in ways that are edifying and soothing to the soul.
Red Lip Theology is not only a breath of fresh air for people struggling to lean fully into their faith and personhood with authenticity, this sacred text also serves as a call to action to tap into the beauty of truth-telling, and use our voices to center the marginalized and set the captives free.
This sacred text is for the Black women who are recovering from internalizing messages of our bodies not being our own, to the point of sacrificing themselves, their dreams, and visions for the greater good. Her voice awakens and affirms the inner voice of Black women, giving strength to trust ourselves and permission to show up whole and well.
The tone of the book felt authentic, unapologetic, and sincere. The content was relatable. This book will challenge those who have little interest in reimagining how humans of all walks of life experience the Divine. It explores what is possible if we do the work of unpacking, unlearning, and relearning the mysteries and wonder of life, and our relationship with The Most High.
I wish I had this book two decades ago. In the same breath, I am thankful this voice exist today, as I no longer feel alone in my thoughts, and know what is possible. I recommend this book for the women who have been there and done that, yet need to be reminded that wholeness is possible and reimagining it, is holy. I recommend this book for young Black women attempting to navigate life in their formative years, so they know they are not on this journey alone. This is a book which will be on my bookshelf, visible for my daughter (and son) to see, and be exposed to when they are ready. Lastly, I also recommend this book for men, and non-black people who are willing to be challenged, yet interested in showing up for Black women and marginalized people in ways that are edifying and soothing to the soul.
January 21, 2023
I think the titles of the essays were smart choice (makeup steps) by far Foundation was the most concise and blush and setting spray. I think this book was mostly read like a letter to her mother and grief. All the connections to faith felt like an afterthought. However, it was clear that the performance of faith, hypocrisy in the church, elitism, and mysogynoir in the Black church is harmful, particularly to queer folks.
CN: death of a parent, sexual assault, cheating, suicidal ideation, depression, and gaslighting
CN: death of a parent, sexual assault, cheating, suicidal ideation, depression, and gaslighting
January 29, 2022
Beautifully written book. It is one I will read again to underline all the moving theological passages. Being a classmate of Candice’s did shape how I read this, but I think everyone would learn something from this book!
June 12, 2022
Not memorable, but certainly not terrible. I think my main challenge was I feel like the book doesn’t offer many new insights for people who are already following the author on Twitter. I imagine this is a challenge for a lot of influencer authors—how to not let the threads tell it all.
December 29, 2021
In “Red Lip Theology”, Candice Marie Benbow sets out, for a reader like me (a white woman) to “open new levels of understanding and ideological transformation” and she does it well. This book is primarily autobiographical, broken into subject-driven essays. As such, being an American, Black, Southern Baptist raised, woman is central to each and eye opening to those of us who aren’t. Whilst none of the challenges and heartaches raised were unfamiliar, putting flesh and bone, lived experience to topics such as #BlackLivesMatter, #ChurchToo and others is moving and compelling.
I deeply appreciated her honesty, and vulnerability. She has endured an immense amount and doesn’t shy away from sharing the darkest and hardest elements. She is brave, bold and inspiring. She is also thought-provoking, I may not agree with everything she says but I enjoyed the way she argued her perspective.
If you are looking for a challenging and interesting read, be sure to pick this one! It’s a four out of five on the enJOYment scale.
I received a complimentary copy of the book from Convergent Books through NetGalley. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.
I deeply appreciated her honesty, and vulnerability. She has endured an immense amount and doesn’t shy away from sharing the darkest and hardest elements. She is brave, bold and inspiring. She is also thought-provoking, I may not agree with everything she says but I enjoyed the way she argued her perspective.
If you are looking for a challenging and interesting read, be sure to pick this one! It’s a four out of five on the enJOYment scale.
I received a complimentary copy of the book from Convergent Books through NetGalley. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.
December 27, 2024
5 ⭐️
I had Red Lip Theology on my TBR forever, and I’m so glad I finally got to it! For a while, I had been struggling with faith, and this was a powerful reminder to nurture my own relationship with God as their are times where Christians project their beliefs onto God, trying to confine Him, but this book reminded me of the importance of finding faith for myself.
Candice Benbow does an amazing job calling out hypocrisy in Christianity while also holding academia accountable—everyone involved in her doctorate program should be ashamed of how they handled things. The book also beautifully highlights the divide between those who’ve experienced loss and grief and those who haven’t. It sickened me to read about the lack of empathy and grace she faced during her grief. There were so many moments I wanted to give Candice a hug because I understood her so deeply.
I had Red Lip Theology on my TBR forever, and I’m so glad I finally got to it! For a while, I had been struggling with faith, and this was a powerful reminder to nurture my own relationship with God as their are times where Christians project their beliefs onto God, trying to confine Him, but this book reminded me of the importance of finding faith for myself.
Candice Benbow does an amazing job calling out hypocrisy in Christianity while also holding academia accountable—everyone involved in her doctorate program should be ashamed of how they handled things. The book also beautifully highlights the divide between those who’ve experienced loss and grief and those who haven’t. It sickened me to read about the lack of empathy and grace she faced during her grief. There were so many moments I wanted to give Candice a hug because I understood her so deeply.
January 2, 2022
This is one of the new releases I was anticipating for 2022. I was thrilled to receive an advanced copy of the book for review.
The author, Candice Marie Benbow is a social media personality, theologian and much more. In this book, she lays out what she calls “red lip theology”. It is how she interprets how millennial Black women experience God.
The book starts with a powerful foreword from Melissa Harris-Perry. Benbow then follows with chapters with thought provoking chapter titles that she links to the process of applying makeup starting with Foundation and ending with setting spray.
Benbow’s writing style is engaging. It feels as if she is having a conversation with the reader. It does not read like an academic, scholarly theological book. Some of the language she uses may offend some in Christian circles because she does use curse words.
This is a great book for someone who views themself as a feminist or womanist and wonders how this fits into Christianity and Black church settings.
I received a review copy of the book from Convergent Books through Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
The author, Candice Marie Benbow is a social media personality, theologian and much more. In this book, she lays out what she calls “red lip theology”. It is how she interprets how millennial Black women experience God.
The book starts with a powerful foreword from Melissa Harris-Perry. Benbow then follows with chapters with thought provoking chapter titles that she links to the process of applying makeup starting with Foundation and ending with setting spray.
Benbow’s writing style is engaging. It feels as if she is having a conversation with the reader. It does not read like an academic, scholarly theological book. Some of the language she uses may offend some in Christian circles because she does use curse words.
This is a great book for someone who views themself as a feminist or womanist and wonders how this fits into Christianity and Black church settings.
I received a review copy of the book from Convergent Books through Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
January 30, 2023
A few times a year I ask myself if I really have any investment in the Christian church. Sometimes, depending on how hopeless I feel about my own future in that moment, I think "maybe I should give it a try".
Two years ago, when I was going through a heartbreak that shattered my world (because of course it did), I looked to church and the Bible for help. It turned out to only be temporary, but that was the closest I came to being completely sold on the idea.
Now, with this book by someone who believes fiercely in God but has chosen to express that faith in ways much different to what the church expects (or accepts), I am seeing that yes, I do need to have some kind of spiritual life on this earth. I admire how boldly Candice talks about her journey to and through faith.
I hope I can believe in something that strongly one day.
Two years ago, when I was going through a heartbreak that shattered my world (because of course it did), I looked to church and the Bible for help. It turned out to only be temporary, but that was the closest I came to being completely sold on the idea.
Now, with this book by someone who believes fiercely in God but has chosen to express that faith in ways much different to what the church expects (or accepts), I am seeing that yes, I do need to have some kind of spiritual life on this earth. I admire how boldly Candice talks about her journey to and through faith.
I hope I can believe in something that strongly one day.
July 21, 2022
Amen! Red Lip Theology describes my walk as a woman of faith in 2022! While I may not agree 100% with everything that is written, I feel empowered as a Black Woman! I like the different viewpoints of the views of the Christian church that made me think and examine my walk.
I’ve experienced church hurt and it’s one of the worst feelings in the entire world. When the people who are supposed to be family and uplift you turn back and/or talk down to and about you.
I can relate to so many other situations that were written about. I love the relationship that she had with her mother.
The audiobook was great.
January 19, 2022
The fact that I finished this book over the course of a day has to be telling… Whewwwwwwww
I read this book at one of the most vulnerable points in my entire walk with God. From surviving my own sexual harassment in 2018 from a cult like institution, I’ve been side eyeing religious institutions and folks- specifically the patriarchy and White supremacy that is upheld.
Candice speaks on ALL OF IT! Holds nothing back. Gives it to us raw. Provides a mirror for those of us trying to make sense of loving a good God and ourselves in the midst of it all!
She did what needed to be DONE!
I read this book at one of the most vulnerable points in my entire walk with God. From surviving my own sexual harassment in 2018 from a cult like institution, I’ve been side eyeing religious institutions and folks- specifically the patriarchy and White supremacy that is upheld.
Candice speaks on ALL OF IT! Holds nothing back. Gives it to us raw. Provides a mirror for those of us trying to make sense of loving a good God and ourselves in the midst of it all!
She did what needed to be DONE!
January 25, 2022
EVERYONE SHOULD READ THIS BOOK!
I am now a proud womanist and theologian.
Thank you, Rev Candice for this book. I have finally been given the permission I have been seeking to live in my authentic self. The author's candidness and honesty throughout this book resonated with me on so many levels. It is a must read for women in seminary and African American women.
I am now a proud womanist and theologian.
Thank you, Rev Candice for this book. I have finally been given the permission I have been seeking to live in my authentic self. The author's candidness and honesty throughout this book resonated with me on so many levels. It is a must read for women in seminary and African American women.
June 15, 2022
Good insight into why churches shouldn't have an unchecked group of people in charge. Also, great introduction for people into being completely blind sighted by their hypocrisy. Just quite biblically unsound. This book really shows major flaws with the current church in how it treats minorites and puts down those by being the judge, jury, and executioner in their congregations spiritual lives .
January 16, 2022
It's part memories, part theological explanation. It's a book that makes you think quite a bit. While I don't agree with everything she says, it's interesting to hear someone else's perspective as they grapple with behaviors in the church and being authentic to their faith.
July 11, 2022
Red Lip Theology - for anyone to read who has had church hurt, church hate, or no matter how deeply you've felt the message you were made to feel like you could never abide by people's rules (not God's) in your faith place (especially Black women who have poured themselves into Black Christian faith traditions). For the woman who has 'good girled' themselves into complete separation from true desire, or who is committed to their walk and has been wholeheartedly devout to their own self-betrayal. As I'm now fond of saying because of the poet Tobe Nwige, " Try Jesus, don't try me," but it has taken me a long, long number of years of not casting the first stone, not judging lest ye be judged, considering others superior to you, and trying to truly emulate the exemplar of my faith, Jesus Christ. But you know, he was a martyr, not me! The unlearning and reconciliation with self has been bumpy, but necessary. This tome has helped me reclaim my personal sovereignty in a way that was everything I didn't know I needed AND reminded me that other women understand the patriarchal strings pulled that keep women miserable and don't EVER apply to the men. Though this is from a Christian perspective, the author speaks of going on a more nuanced and varied faith journey that no longer lands her solidly in the "traditionally Christian" camp. I think it could probably be applied to other faith traditions with a patriarchal bent as well. Though I don't share many of the author's experiences and am not fully there on all of her perspectives, this collection of essays so eloquently describes much of the unraveling I've personally done since putting a pause on my former faith journey, speaks to the struggles women go through, look dead in the eye, are crippled by, and how they end up reconciling with themselves (and possibly God) to live life by their own terms.
February 21, 2022
I’m mad at myself for shelving this instead of reading it immediately. This book was EVERYTHING we thought it would be and after following her so long on Twitter and remembering how some of these events were experienced by her in real time, it’s refreshing to see her internal thoughts and reflections on those various moments. I’ve read Sisters in the Wilderness and I truly believe similarly years from now we will identify Red Lip Theology as in the bank of seminal texts about womanist theology, Black women’s relationship Christianity and God, and Black women’s experiences. The essays are very well written and insightful and most importantly relatable. I love this crop of Gen X older millennial Black authors that have been writing about their lives AFTER surviving PWIs and GATE Black onlyisms in K-12. I’m happy this book exist for young Black women including and especially those in the church and those that are constantly trying to understand and build their relationship with God for themselves and stand independently against the powers of patriarchy and racism that is sometimes normalized in religion. Highly recommend
December 8, 2021
This book is a collection of essays on relationships, loss, sexuality, the church, patriarchy, feminism, womanist theology, and more. Ms. Benbow draws from all periods of her life, childhood on up, to share her faith journey and how she came to understand God, her relationship with God, and her place in God’s divine creation. I believe to love one another we must understand one another. To do that we must know one another. We can’t truly know one another if we don’t share our life experiences and beliefs with one another. Ms. Benbow, with her book, is demonstrating how and why to do this. I hope for more courageous woman speaking their truth about their lived experiences in and out of the American church - and sharing those truths, whether in articles, books, podcasts, or other mediums. We need their voices and we need them.
Thank you to the publisher, author, and NetGalley for the eARC to read and review. All opinions are my own.
Thank you to the publisher, author, and NetGalley for the eARC to read and review. All opinions are my own.
May 30, 2022
I really enjoyed this book! Candice discussed something that so many church folks are afraid to admit: church isn’t always a safe environment and isn’t the only place where God is present. Everybody has the right to connect with God in the way they see fit, and we have to adjust to fit our needs in certain seasons. I love that Candice used her life experiences, no matter how difficult it was at certain times, to find her way back to God in the way that worked for her.
November 28, 2021
Firstly if the title itself doesn't make you want to read the book then I don't know what will because it's the title that got me. I got into the book with no high expectations as I did not know what to expect but what I found was both educational, educating and reflective. In the book written in essay form tackles themes such as heartache, loss, forgiveness, and sexuality, . Such an eye opening collection.
I received a complimentary copy of this book. from Convergent Books Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own
I received a complimentary copy of this book. from Convergent Books Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own
February 3, 2022
I didn't grow up in the church, per se. At best in my childhood, I was a CME member (Christmas, Mother's Day, Easter). I got baptized in college when my mom re-dedicated to the church after her cancer diagnosis. Reading this book made realize that although I missed a decade, the general experience was the same. I saw myself in my twenties in this book. I struggled through the chapter where Candice talks about losing her mother and not wanting to go back to church. I felt seen because my first church hurt came after my mom's passing. Losing your mother is TOUGH and it hit home for me. If I could give this more than 5 stars, I would. Her takes on faith strike accord with me and it is refreshing to read.
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