Before & After You

by Michelle Chamberland

I knew it from the very first moment I saw him. Greyson Hayes was a game changer. He was light, and love, and everything that was right in this world. But I was hate, and darkness, and everything this cruel world had taught me to be. Before Greyson Hayes, I was angry. Angry at the hand I’d been dealt, at my parents, with myself. At seventeen-years-old, I knew far too much about the ugliest parts of life. I was counting down the days until I’d turn eighteen and could finally start over again, on my own terms. And then I met him. He trailed fingertips and kisses over my scars. The ones that could be seen on the surface of my skin, and the ones that lingered beneath them, buried and hidden from the world. He made them feel beautiful. After Greyson Hayes, I learned how to love with a heart that was riddled with scars. After Greyson Hayes, I learned how to love myself. Before & After You is a standalone, past and present, second chance romance about finding love and finding one's self.

313 pages, Kindle Edition

First published April 8, 2020

About the author

Michelle Chamberland is a daydreaming, moon-loving, snack-obsessed author, wife, and mama to two rad kiddos, living in sunny Southern California. She is an absolute lover of losing herself between the pages of new worlds and clawing her way out on the other side with the worst (in the best way) book hangovers. You can find her on Instagram and TikTok @iamtheauthormc

Reviews

[Dora Koutsoukou · Rating 4 out of 5]

4,5 ❤️💔❤️❤️⚡️⏳⚡️🌟🌟🌟🌟s❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️


“I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
I wanna feel what love is
I know you can show me.” Foreigner


I am left speechless...
From all this love, from all these emotions, and I am in awe of the author’s writing. It touched my soul to the fullest. It gripped me throughout the whole journey.
Michelle Chamberland shattered my heart but skilfully put the pieces back together.

Jess + Greyson = ❤️ 4ever

Two teens that had been through hell and back.
My heart ached for Jess. She was broken and damaged. She had never been taught how to love herself or others.
And then she met Greyson. The greatest gift this life had ever given her. Like her soul saw his and took its first breath in centuries.
Their attraction and their connection was simply beautiful, as well as their HEA.

An emotional and heartfelt story, an absolute gem❣️

[Anne OK · Rating 4 out of 5]

*Full review posted May 21, 2020*

Debuting her dazzling standalone novel, Michelle Chamberland writes a not-so-simple second chance love story that toggles back and forth between a mixture of laugh-out-loud scenes and serious emotional conflicts. It’s told in a before and after timeline spanning over a decade with an eight-year separation.

Greyson Hayes and Jessica (Jess) Martinez are seniors in high school when they first meet. From the moment their eyes meet, she knows that he’s “the one” – and it doesn’t take long for Greyson to follow in pursuit of her. They have an incredible connection with an overwhelming passion and strength as they face hard-to-deal-with issues. Their instant attraction set my heart a flutter, but knowing the world was against them from the start tore it apart. There’s a well-balanced blend of the good-feels that include laughing, crying and sighing.

But sometimes the best of plans don’t always work out the way we’ve planned. Graduation day arrives and a misunderstanding and one heart full of self-doubt sends this couple in different directions – and it takes a decade before they cross paths by chance once again in Seattle and the sparks once again fly.

A truly beautiful and dynamic love story, emotionally charged and well-written. Lots of twists and turns challenge this young couple on the road to happiness. Both Grey and Jess are strong and passionate characters who have faced a great deal of hardship that includes the dynamics of complex situations between family and friends.

Only one complaint to assert against this story – and that is with the ending. Yes, there’s a happy-ever-after, but it was over and done with before I could hardly catch my breath from the joy of having them back together. A really rushed ending with no Epilogue falls far less than I expect and need for a book to reach spectacular status. Without it, there’s no five-star performance.

I am seriously shocked that this book hasn’t received more attention and a bunch of written reviews – especially within the Young Adult crowd. Anxious to see what comes next from this author. Her debut was most definitely a satisfying treat.



(Special thanks to a great reading friend, Dora, for the recommend!)

[Michelle Chamberland]

🌙 TEASER EXCERPT 🌙

“Jess?” He steps closer, this grown-man version of who Greyson used to be. He’s taller, older, wiser. There’s no way I could actually know that just from looking at him, but somehow, I know it’s true. This man in front of me knows things he didn’t all those years ago, has lived things, seen things too, maybe.

And he is definitely, definitely, leaps and bounds sexier than I remember him being.

It’s almost too overwhelming to handle—his familiar eyes, that same tilted smile, the angular line of his scruffy jaw, and above it all, the fact that he’s even here, in my hometown, in my coffee shop.

I watch him, and he watches me, and neither of us says anything for far too long. I think it’s because we’re both in shock.

He looks good. Really good. So good it’s almost too painful to look at him.

His hair is buzzed short on the sides, the top longer and thrown back in a perfect mess. It’s no longer bleach-blond. Just dark. Black, black, black. His army-green tee perfectly fits the form of his sculpted arms and broad chest, and he’s wearing these dark shit-kicker boots and ripped black jeans and is clenching and unclenching hands that have touched and healed and broken so many different parts of me.

Emotion lodges itself in my throat. I want to run out that door and launch myself into his arms all at the same time.

I don’t miss the way he studies me as intently as I do him, a flood of emotions raging behind his eyes that match the ones playing in mine—fear, joy, excitement, regret.

“How are you?” he asks.

So, this is going to be the point where we start talking and using all of the words. Okay. I can do this. And because I’m an adult, and I’m Zen as fuck, I can totally, totally handle it. “I’m good. How are you?” See? Piece of cake. Liar.

“I’m good.” He smiles, glancing down at the floor.

I duck down just a bit and catch his eyes. “You still smile the same way,” I say softly. That was such a stupid, vulnerable thing to say. But I’ll own it. Because he does. And I’ve missed that smile. So much more than I’ve allowed myself to believe.

He rubs the back of his neck, eyes intense. “Shit, Jess. It’s so damn good to see you,” he ends on an exhale. He’s looking at me as if he’s been searching for me every single day of the past eight years we’ve spent apart. Missing me as much as I’ve missed him.

And I’m sure that’s what I’ll be telling our kids someday, when I tell them the story of how we found each other again after all these years and fell madly in love—for the second time in a lifetime.

But that thought strikes me down as if I’ve been hit by a bolt of lightning, because: What if he already has kids?

In reality, I know next to nothing about this man standing in front of me. Not anymore. For all I know, he could already have a wife and kids. And a nanny and a dog and a white picket fence, and a big, giant house and a who the hell knows what else, but I can’t stick around and find out. And his hands are in his pockets, so I can’t see if he’s wearing a wedding band on his finger. And I should have dug deeper when I saw him online, except that I couldn’t bear to do it then either.

But that’s okay. I take a deep breath. It’s okay. Because I don’t want to know. I don’t want to know how much happier he is with his life without me in it.

My god, this was such a mistake. Standing here with him, soaking in every little detail and difference between the Greyson I used to know and this stranger in front of me, who doesn’t feel anything like a stranger at all. Seeing his smile and letting it wash over me. Hearing his voice. The way it’s changed and deepened after all of these years.

It’s too much. It’s all too much, and I can’t do this.

I fumble with a hasty goodbye and make a quick exit, running the entire two blocks back to my house, iced mocha long forgotten. Tears stream down my face, my neck, my arms.

Such a mistake. A lapse in judgment that twists and churns inside my stomach with the pain of regret, with all of the mistakes I made back then, too.

Because that’s the thing about mistakes. Some of them you learn from, and some of them you grow from, and some of them even make you a better human being in the end. But sometimes we spend our entire lives running from the ones we can never escape.
🌙🖤

[Emma Cook · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an amazing love story! This author used a unique writing style to tell this story and it worked beautifully! The way she wrote the past and present (before/after) of the relationship between these two characters helped give insight to how they changed and grew over time. The book spans 8 years...the before when they met in high school, the after when they reconnected in adulthood. The chapters move between these two moments in time effortlessly. And I loved the internal dialogue written for Jess throughout the whole book. She had internal freak outs, moments of building herself up, and moments of funny banter back and forth with her own thoughts! It created the perfect balance to knowing her true self! Overall, I loved how this book wasn’t the perfect love story. There were moments of doubt and clarity for both characters, both fighting inner demons and trying to make their way out of the life they were handed. Jess and Greyson shared a strong connection on a very deep level, both broken by the hands they were dealt in life. They had to overcome their struggles independently before they could be what the other needed them to be. I loved reading their story!

[Stefanie Castro · Rating 4 out of 5]

“𝗜’𝗱 𝗯𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗰𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗼 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗮 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗿𝗶𝗱𝗱𝗹𝗲𝗱 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵
𝘀𝗰𝗮𝗿𝘀.“

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5

I’ve become a huge fan of second-chance love stories and this one fulfilled that need I had for such a dynamic.

The way I went into this book, I was prepared to ugly cry, with a heroine that had a dark past and a hero that smiled as bright as the sun. What I walked away from this story was very different. If one thing I saw depicted on each page was that sometimes the smiles hide the pain. Things aren’t as they seem and this story showed me just that.

This story is told with chapters jumping from present to past and I enjoyed every minute of this time jump. I didn’t feel stressed or anxious while reading this. It was such an easy read for me and I couldn’t stop turning the page.

[Emilia ♡ · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was good. Thought it was weird that she just left tho and like changed her number idk i haven’t been in her position so idk how I would react but I feel like her reaction was odd

[Romancing the Reader · Rating 4 out of 5]

Do you all have that one first love that completely gutted you? I certainly do. And Michelle Chamberland's Before & After You brought be right back to that headspace.

📚 𝗧𝗿𝗼𝗽𝗲: Second Chance

📖 𝗦𝘆𝗻𝗼𝗽𝘀𝗶𝘀: Jess and Greyson were within each other's orbits the second they met in high school. But Jess is dark to Greyson's supposed light. They're opposites, but inexplicably drawn to one another. In a past-and-present fashion, Michelle Chamberland tells the story of how they connected through the many obstacles in their way, and how they were caught in the same gravitational pull years later.

🌟 𝗥𝗲𝘃𝗶𝗲𝘄: Woof, this one was a little angsty, but I made it through!

This book kind of defied all of the odds for me. I am usually not big into past-and-present writing, where the past and present lie alongside one another, alternating chapters here and there. I am also not a fan of high school romances, because man - I am 34. But I totally let myself get into this story and really enjoyed it.

It was kind of refreshing - the past piece of the story is full of angst and these moments where you want to scream at both characters. But it's clear, especially when they finally get together, how much they need each other and how much they mean to one another. It also makes their coming together in the future very easy to understand and root for - you know they are meant for each other, so some of the reconnection instalove is forgiven.

This is another instance of why book boxes are great. I don't know if I would have ever found this book without it being in a subscription box, and it's Goodreads traffic is so low I don't know if it would have been on my radar, but I enjoyed the story and thought I would share the love!

𝗙𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗥𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴: 4/5 ⭐⭐⭐⭐

𝗦𝗽𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝗥𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴: 2/5 🌶🌶

🆓️ on KU

[Angelica Jones · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had to read this book through all the way 2 times in order to write a review because there was just so much to say. I'd just like to start with the fact that Michelle's writing is poetry to me. Her writing just seeps into my bones and makes me feel things I've forgotten how to feel.

"We were worlds apart. Lightyears, universes. He was so far out of my reach, there was no way he could ever actually be mine. He was the sun and I was the moon. He was the light, and I was the dark. I knew this, but I didn't care."

This was such a high school feeling for me and I felt instantly transported back to a time in my life where I'd felt like that. Not only did this entire book leave me with feelings (SOOO many feelings), but it also made me feel like the two main characters, Greyson and Jess, were totally real.

Before & After You deals with a lot of heartache, a lot of bad hands dealt, but also lots of inspiration and feel good moments. I loved Jess' friends and laughed out loud to most of their antics. She made them all very relatable.

The struggles they both go through and the ghosts from their past give this book that push and pull of hard times and good times. I loved the way Michelle went back and forth between the past and the present, leaving you wanting to figure it all out all on your own before she tells it to you.

"...I was desperate for so much more-for all of him. For all of the pieces I'd collected, and for all the pieces I had yet to see. I wanted to own them all, forever. I wanted to sweep them up, and slide them into my pocket, and never let them go."

I have so many more favorite parts and quotes from this book but most of them would be spoilers, so I'll have to leave them out for now. But this book left me feeling so affected. By not only the love story, but the obstacles Greyson and Jess overcame.

Seriously. Go and read this for yourselves. and you can inhale it in just under 2 days like the first time I read this (maybe even quicker).