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Gaslighting & Narcissistic Abuse Recovery: Recover from Emotional Abuse, Recognize Narcissists & Manipulators and Break Free Once and for All
You’re positive you saw a flirty text from another woman on your husband’s phone. Yet, when you confront him, he tells you you’re imagining things and being paranoid. A co-worker sarcastically mentions that you’re not contributing enough to the big project. When you get offended, they say they were just joking and that you’re too sensitive. Your mother constantly criticizes your weight. When you bring up her comments around other people, she denies ever saying them and says you are making up stories. Have you repeatedly found yourself in these types of situations where you end up doubting yourself? They might have occurred with different people, in different circumstances, but the way they make you feel is the same. Your feelings are trivialized, your thoughts are manipulated, and your reality is denied. When this is done to you repeatedly, you begin to feel confused or even crazy. You are left questioning your own reality and sanity. These are classic signs that you’re being gaslighted, and it’s something to take very seriously. Gaslighting is a covert form of abuse that affects your confidence and trust in yourself, which the abuser then takes advantage of to keep you under their control. Whether it’s a spouse, parent, or co-worker, it’s hard to break loose from the grip of a gaslighting manipulator. You will need to know how gaslighters operate, how their behavior is affecting you, and how you can reclaim your truth. In Gaslighting & Narcissistic Abuse Recovery , you will
194 pages, Paperback
Published April 1, 2021
583 people are currently reading
718 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 71 reviews
December 30, 2024
For the longest time, I've always wanted to read a nonfiction book but ended up uninterested. I chalk it up to a preference for escapism and an individual need to read something creative and imaginative.
This book, however, is my first nonfiction read out of necessity – a situational cure. As a victim of emotional abuse, this book made me realize that I was in fact a victim of gaslighting and was surprised to realize that the person I'm with exhibits most of the characteristics of a narcissist.
Far from being a complete tool to heal me from my traumas, this book assured me that I can redeem and reclaim myself from years of emotional abuse. I find that there are ways to survive an abusive relationship, but I love how the author also empathizes with those who are unable to leave the narcissist in their lives for personal reasons.
Self-help books like this one are not a cure-all nor a silver bullet. But it provides the realization we need as well as access to a therapist in a non-judgmental space.
This book, however, is my first nonfiction read out of necessity – a situational cure. As a victim of emotional abuse, this book made me realize that I was in fact a victim of gaslighting and was surprised to realize that the person I'm with exhibits most of the characteristics of a narcissist.
Far from being a complete tool to heal me from my traumas, this book assured me that I can redeem and reclaim myself from years of emotional abuse. I find that there are ways to survive an abusive relationship, but I love how the author also empathizes with those who are unable to leave the narcissist in their lives for personal reasons.
Self-help books like this one are not a cure-all nor a silver bullet. But it provides the realization we need as well as access to a therapist in a non-judgmental space.
May 15, 2021
A must-read for any individual experiencing turmoil in a relationship without the ability to pinpoint the source of the trouble. Informative, well-researched, nicely written. Author remains mostly objective and provides readers with a list of specific red-flags and behaviors and in doing so utilizes a formerly traumatic experience to prevent others (readers) from experiencing the same. The notion that some remain under the spell of a narcissist for years if not decades seems shocking although upon further reflection not surprising.
Easy to read this in a single sitting- informative and concise while also incorporating detailed narratives.
Easy to read this in a single sitting- informative and concise while also incorporating detailed narratives.
November 28, 2022
I am writing this review because this book is as important as breathing clean air.
It's been almost two years since I started reading on the subject of narcissistic abuse. The reason being I was abused by narcissists throughout my life. It's my time to build myself again with the same courage and confidence that they shook to the core at some point of time in my life.
This book discussed the nature of narcissists and how their victim feels their abuse even after moving out of a relationship for years. It completely depends on the kind of damage the narcissists cause to them and the kind of work victims do to overcome the traumatic chain of events.
I could relate to it because even today some narcissists from my past are chasing me back to make my life hell but now, I know the ways of setting up strong boundaries. I don't give a damn about how they are planning to destroy my peace of mind because my faith is in God, and he moves me out of an equation where people try to hurt me.
This book served its purpose to me by inspiring me about staying away from narcissists until I die.
It's been almost two years since I started reading on the subject of narcissistic abuse. The reason being I was abused by narcissists throughout my life. It's my time to build myself again with the same courage and confidence that they shook to the core at some point of time in my life.
This book discussed the nature of narcissists and how their victim feels their abuse even after moving out of a relationship for years. It completely depends on the kind of damage the narcissists cause to them and the kind of work victims do to overcome the traumatic chain of events.
I could relate to it because even today some narcissists from my past are chasing me back to make my life hell but now, I know the ways of setting up strong boundaries. I don't give a damn about how they are planning to destroy my peace of mind because my faith is in God, and he moves me out of an equation where people try to hurt me.
This book served its purpose to me by inspiring me about staying away from narcissists until I die.
May 2, 2021
Very enlightening book...
I saw my step-mother and a former partner on these pages...
They both used gaslighting techniques which made me think that I was going crazy and made me question my 'reality,' 'sanity.'
Thankfully, they are both out of my life these days...
I saw my step-mother and a former partner on these pages...
They both used gaslighting techniques which made me think that I was going crazy and made me question my 'reality,' 'sanity.'
Thankfully, they are both out of my life these days...
March 19, 2025
This book helped me realize I wasn’t just raised by one narcissist, but two…
Didn’t realize both of my parents were narcissists until now.
This book was eye opening. I’ve been friends with narcissists and have been victims of them. Now realizing that my recurring friendships with narcissists were simply because I was comfortable (being that I was raised by two).
My friendships with narcissists have ended and I keep a healthy distance with my parents. Life is peaceful that way. And I’m still healing. This book helped with my healing process. And also let me know that I should make sure not to let narcissistic habits latch onto me.
Definitely recommended to people healing for narcissists and the narcissist themselves.
Didn’t realize both of my parents were narcissists until now.
This book was eye opening. I’ve been friends with narcissists and have been victims of them. Now realizing that my recurring friendships with narcissists were simply because I was comfortable (being that I was raised by two).
My friendships with narcissists have ended and I keep a healthy distance with my parents. Life is peaceful that way. And I’m still healing. This book helped with my healing process. And also let me know that I should make sure not to let narcissistic habits latch onto me.
Definitely recommended to people healing for narcissists and the narcissist themselves.
March 25, 2023
I expected something different from this book. I was hoping for something with some more scholarly credibility. There was some good information, but a lot of personal stories replaced what I hoped would be case studies. It seemed to me that there were too many unsubstantiated generalizations. I hope that readers are able to get something useful to help themselves or a loved one, but this shouldn't be the only source they consult.
July 7, 2022
Interesting, insightful, a little too woke
In-depth and thoughtful evaluation of gas lighting and narcissism. Clear descriptions of the tactics and methods used as well as how damaging it can be to be a victim. The author is knowledgeable and the book well researched.
Actually, this is my first review and I hope the author takes it constructively. I could see the book was likely written to address personal issues in the writer's past. I expect most of the people reading the book, like me, are looking to address something in our lives also. I would have enjoyed and rated the book a 5 if It were written for a wider audience. I felt l this book was written for 20 somethings which minimizes the scope and importance of the subject and the book. What you have to say is important. Your book has a lot of great information. Stay on topic, avoid woke jargon you were taught in liberal arts school, write for a wider, mature audience, and most importantly, don't give personal comments on potentially political or hot buttons outside your area of expertise. If people don't agree with you on your off topic opinion, you risk losing credibility on the subject of the book.
In-depth and thoughtful evaluation of gas lighting and narcissism. Clear descriptions of the tactics and methods used as well as how damaging it can be to be a victim. The author is knowledgeable and the book well researched.
Actually, this is my first review and I hope the author takes it constructively. I could see the book was likely written to address personal issues in the writer's past. I expect most of the people reading the book, like me, are looking to address something in our lives also. I would have enjoyed and rated the book a 5 if It were written for a wider audience. I felt l this book was written for 20 somethings which minimizes the scope and importance of the subject and the book. What you have to say is important. Your book has a lot of great information. Stay on topic, avoid woke jargon you were taught in liberal arts school, write for a wider, mature audience, and most importantly, don't give personal comments on potentially political or hot buttons outside your area of expertise. If people don't agree with you on your off topic opinion, you risk losing credibility on the subject of the book.
September 13, 2021
Thorough, compassionate, informative and actionable approaches. I really enjoyed this book - so much of it was very familiar after I experienced gaslighting by someone who is a master of the game. I can’t say I’m eagerly anticipating a confrontation with this narcissistic personality type. But I take comfort in being able to raise my awareness which should help me to distance myself ASAP, or have strategies to head these charismatic, manipulative and destructive personality types.
Get the book, it is loaded with information and follow-up resources.
Get the book, it is loaded with information and follow-up resources.
June 21, 2021
Although the book covers important material, it seems to glide over the surface without looking deeper into the problem. The given examples are rather shallow and the book presents some kind of an academic textbook type of feeling. Also, the author chose a quite optimistic presumption that a person who purchases his book is actually in the toxic relationship at the time. Rarely do people understand that the toxic behavior of their partner is present nor do they have the ability or confidence to leave the relationship. Lastly, the first part of the book is rather slow paced and consisting of material that is easy to find on Google. I liked the second part more, as it pointed out the importance of moving on and staying confident throughout the confrontation or closure, however, a number of points were repeated too many times.
June 4, 2021
This Book Saved Me
I was looking for a book on confidence and there was this beautiful book. As I read through the book a light came on. Wow! So that's where I went. My therapist was amazed. I still have work to do but so thankful I now know what sucked the life out of me. Thank you so much for bringing me back. Bless you.
I was looking for a book on confidence and there was this beautiful book. As I read through the book a light came on. Wow! So that's where I went. My therapist was amazed. I still have work to do but so thankful I now know what sucked the life out of me. Thank you so much for bringing me back. Bless you.
March 10, 2021
Great Book! This helps me understand what people are about.
October 3, 2023
I started reading this because people kept using the words "narcissist" and "gaslighting" when they described my ex. I wanted to understand those terms better to see if he truly fit the description.
In the beginning of the book, there's a list of 12 signs that you are with a narcissistic abuser. The moment I read it, I felt like someone had switched on a light in a room that had been dark for almost a year.
I'd recommend this to anyone who suspects that they, or someone they know, might be in an abusive relationship. For me, the author strikes the right balance between accountability and compassion--empowering you to stand up for yourself, and cautioning you not to take responsibility for someone else's behavior (or blame yourself for becoming a victim of it.) I read the book after I had already gotten out of a bad relationship, but it still helped me to stop guilt-tripping myself and truly move on. I hope it helps others to do the same!
In the beginning of the book, there's a list of 12 signs that you are with a narcissistic abuser. The moment I read it, I felt like someone had switched on a light in a room that had been dark for almost a year.
I'd recommend this to anyone who suspects that they, or someone they know, might be in an abusive relationship. For me, the author strikes the right balance between accountability and compassion--empowering you to stand up for yourself, and cautioning you not to take responsibility for someone else's behavior (or blame yourself for becoming a victim of it.) I read the book after I had already gotten out of a bad relationship, but it still helped me to stop guilt-tripping myself and truly move on. I hope it helps others to do the same!
November 27, 2021
Healing and Beautiful.
Having grown up with a Narcissist for a father and a Mother who taught me ZERO boundaries because her own were so decimated from living with a Narcissist for so long, this book was a breath of fresh air. Defining in a clean, clear, precise fashion Narcissim, and Gaslighting in particular helped me to really see and accept how damaging the mental and emotional abuse I grew up with was. It helped me not feel so crazy! A complete stranger wrote down phrases I have heard a million times growing up. But the most help was the beautiful chapter on recovering and what to do to deal with the Narcissist themselves and to help myself heal from the trauma. Gorgeous read. Written with gentleness and kindness. It's a great reminder to love yourself and that it is not only okay, but HEALTHY to do so. Beautiful. I loved it. 10 out of 10 recommend!
Having grown up with a Narcissist for a father and a Mother who taught me ZERO boundaries because her own were so decimated from living with a Narcissist for so long, this book was a breath of fresh air. Defining in a clean, clear, precise fashion Narcissim, and Gaslighting in particular helped me to really see and accept how damaging the mental and emotional abuse I grew up with was. It helped me not feel so crazy! A complete stranger wrote down phrases I have heard a million times growing up. But the most help was the beautiful chapter on recovering and what to do to deal with the Narcissist themselves and to help myself heal from the trauma. Gorgeous read. Written with gentleness and kindness. It's a great reminder to love yourself and that it is not only okay, but HEALTHY to do so. Beautiful. I loved it. 10 out of 10 recommend!
November 3, 2022
Highly Recommend
Great analysis, good practical advice that comes from experience and insight. So many times while reading, I found myself thinking, "That's ME, that's HER, why didn't I realize what was going on? How could I have been so dense, so naive? Was I a coward, a doormat?" After 50 years, I'm still working on letting go of shame, and the belief that I was responsible for the pain and humiliation I suffered.
Buddha was known and loved for his wisdom A person who knew his reputation went to see him. When he met him, he verbally abused him, insulted him, ridiculed him.
Buddha was calm, he said to the man, “If someone offers you a gift and you decline it, to whom then does it belong?”
The man said, “Then it belongs to the person who offered it.”
Buddha said, “That is correct.
Great analysis, good practical advice that comes from experience and insight. So many times while reading, I found myself thinking, "That's ME, that's HER, why didn't I realize what was going on? How could I have been so dense, so naive? Was I a coward, a doormat?" After 50 years, I'm still working on letting go of shame, and the belief that I was responsible for the pain and humiliation I suffered.
Buddha was known and loved for his wisdom A person who knew his reputation went to see him. When he met him, he verbally abused him, insulted him, ridiculed him.
Buddha was calm, he said to the man, “If someone offers you a gift and you decline it, to whom then does it belong?”
The man said, “Then it belongs to the person who offered it.”
Buddha said, “That is correct.
September 23, 2023
Excellent read for any victim of gaslight abuse!
So glad I read this book. As someone who has suffered being the child of a gaslighting mother, a husband, a work boss & a best friend of 40 years, I read this book in hopes of understanding my behaviour in such relationships, how to avoid them again (like the plague) & what to do to heal myself from the pain & trauma, & the book didn't disappoint!
Easy to read, with enough information in each chapter to explain the behaviours of both the abuser & the abused, I especially liked the summary at the end of each chapter.
Victims of gaslighting & narcissism may not realise they're being abused, especially if physical violence isn't present, so if you suspect that someone you know may be a victim, giving them a copy of this book would be a kindness as well as a revelation.
So glad I read this book. As someone who has suffered being the child of a gaslighting mother, a husband, a work boss & a best friend of 40 years, I read this book in hopes of understanding my behaviour in such relationships, how to avoid them again (like the plague) & what to do to heal myself from the pain & trauma, & the book didn't disappoint!
Easy to read, with enough information in each chapter to explain the behaviours of both the abuser & the abused, I especially liked the summary at the end of each chapter.
Victims of gaslighting & narcissism may not realise they're being abused, especially if physical violence isn't present, so if you suspect that someone you know may be a victim, giving them a copy of this book would be a kindness as well as a revelation.
August 2, 2022
Not a bad book, but one that seems written by someone more interested in sharing his gaslighting stories than to establish a pathway to understanding and defeating it for other people.
Again, not that it doesn't do that. But it's a book strongly anchored around marketing principle. The author wants to show you that he understands and relates to the pain of being gaslighted, leading him to mount an argument mostly based on convincing, but anecdotal data. Call it a case of not-what-I-was-expecting and something-I-felt-a-great-discomfort-reading, but it definitely had a target audience out there.
This is a book for people who are healing from gaslighting. Whose emotions were skinned raw by years of abuse. Not for people who want to know objectively about the phenomenon.
Again, not that it doesn't do that. But it's a book strongly anchored around marketing principle. The author wants to show you that he understands and relates to the pain of being gaslighted, leading him to mount an argument mostly based on convincing, but anecdotal data. Call it a case of not-what-I-was-expecting and something-I-felt-a-great-discomfort-reading, but it definitely had a target audience out there.
This is a book for people who are healing from gaslighting. Whose emotions were skinned raw by years of abuse. Not for people who want to know objectively about the phenomenon.
February 11, 2023
I found this to be a very worthwhile book.
It's not long, but it walks you through gaslighting and emotional abuse in an honest, thorough way. The last third of the book is focused on moving forward once you've come to the realization that you've undergone these things in your relationship. And it's not only romantically-focused - it's written in such a way as to apply to the children of narcissists and other people close to them as well.
The tone is very compassionate, which the more no-nonsense among us might find to be bordering on too saccharine. However, I thought it did a good job of being sympathetic to an extent that someone bruised by emotional abuse would likely appreciate.
It's not long, but it walks you through gaslighting and emotional abuse in an honest, thorough way. The last third of the book is focused on moving forward once you've come to the realization that you've undergone these things in your relationship. And it's not only romantically-focused - it's written in such a way as to apply to the children of narcissists and other people close to them as well.
The tone is very compassionate, which the more no-nonsense among us might find to be bordering on too saccharine. However, I thought it did a good job of being sympathetic to an extent that someone bruised by emotional abuse would likely appreciate.
April 12, 2023
Great book. The fact that people are narcissistic enough to warrant a term familiar to the medical and psychological community renders how powerful and how influential this toxic quality of gaslighting can be. It affects both men and women, because headstrong people abound in both genders and all races, and it's the type of thing where you have to save yourself, you can't save the relationship. I really and truly appreciated the book, and recommend it as a read if you're perhaps living with someone that you can never agree with even though you're doing everything you can to keep the peace. Thank you.
August 11, 2024
Although I have never dealt with a narcissist directly, I have dealt with gaslighting which is why this book specifically intrigued me. After reading I realized a few things:
1- they have a spectrum of narcissism. not all narcissist have the same traits and not every one are in fact abusive.
2-it is not just romantic relationships that a narcissist will attack… they can abuse family, friends, coworkers, even doctors can be narcissistic.
3-the tactics of a narcissist are new like triangulation. i always assumed narcissist are too worried about their-self to bring a 3rd party in.
4-alot of people i know display traits of a narcissist and since we know theres a spectrum, a few could very well be a narcissist.
i enjoyed this book and loved diving deeper into narcissism and gaslighting. the book also gave some other books to read which i have decided to add to my tbr.
1- they have a spectrum of narcissism. not all narcissist have the same traits and not every one are in fact abusive.
2-it is not just romantic relationships that a narcissist will attack… they can abuse family, friends, coworkers, even doctors can be narcissistic.
3-the tactics of a narcissist are new like triangulation. i always assumed narcissist are too worried about their-self to bring a 3rd party in.
4-alot of people i know display traits of a narcissist and since we know theres a spectrum, a few could very well be a narcissist.
i enjoyed this book and loved diving deeper into narcissism and gaslighting. the book also gave some other books to read which i have decided to add to my tbr.
May 30, 2025
This book was helpful to recognizing the patterns and signs of a narcissist and gaslighting + recovering from abuse. If you have a parent, friend, coworker, or partner who you think might show signs of this, I think this book would be helpful to identifying the signs, the effects, and how to heal from it. I read it as a recommendation from my therapist.
(And for the record I read it in regards to healing from what I experienced as a child/young adult - although it it a little more tailored for people who are in a relationship with an abuser, which I am not. But it hits on all types of relationships, so I still think it was very helpful)
(And for the record I read it in regards to healing from what I experienced as a child/young adult - although it it a little more tailored for people who are in a relationship with an abuser, which I am not. But it hits on all types of relationships, so I still think it was very helpful)
August 6, 2025
This is one of my few first self-help books, and I really appreciate this book being made and published. I really enjoyed the way the author was talking to me with his words. I felt like he was holding my hand as I was reading. The book took me a while because I was getting mad with what I allowed so much in the past, but I pushed through to finish, and I'm really glad I completed the book. I have been recommending this book to people around me since chapter 1. Some of the lessons he was providing I was already doing, and I felt reassured and got a few more pointers to get back up and bring back who I am that I've tucked away over the years. Thank you Don Barlow.
September 29, 2022
I am divorced from a covert passive aggressive narcissist and am recovering from the emotional abuse, etc. I found that this book was more about the author's journey with little to no solid advice. The author did no interviews with other survivors or with clinicians, therapists or doctors. In fact, I do not believe he is any of the aforementioned professions. I appreciate the sharing of his story, but he still has some recovering to do himself, as he still naively tried to talk with an ex in the kitchen during a party. You do not do that!
November 22, 2022
Excellent reading material
Very detailed in describing narcissist and the different types. Vast amount of ways to manipulate so many people in so many different ways. Healing and recovering from narcissist abuse is in fact no easy task. Finding strength within ourselves is a step forward to receiving therapy. It's much better than doing it yourself. this book absolutely helped me in seeking the proper help with my recovery... being in a toxic marriage for 25yrs. His mother was a malignant narcissist who damaged our marriage. Shame.
Very detailed in describing narcissist and the different types. Vast amount of ways to manipulate so many people in so many different ways. Healing and recovering from narcissist abuse is in fact no easy task. Finding strength within ourselves is a step forward to receiving therapy. It's much better than doing it yourself. this book absolutely helped me in seeking the proper help with my recovery... being in a toxic marriage for 25yrs. His mother was a malignant narcissist who damaged our marriage. Shame.
January 19, 2022
I grew up in a household with two narcissistic parents whose number one tool is gaslighting. I've done a lot of research on the topic on my own. This book wasn't anything I hadn't already heard, but it explained everything from a new angle. It was easier for me to understand and find the parallels in my life. I've let me friend borrow and bought two other copies for my family to read. I can't praise this book enough!
January 22, 2022
Great Easy Going Read
This book was easy going, it didn’t overload you with a lot of hard to understand information . It has factual support of narcissistic behavior and examples. It has helped me realized the tricks I have experienced myself. I was afraid to read it at first because I knew it would reveal how much of a fool i was for staying in such a terrible relationship for so long but i’m glad i read it .
This book was easy going, it didn’t overload you with a lot of hard to understand information . It has factual support of narcissistic behavior and examples. It has helped me realized the tricks I have experienced myself. I was afraid to read it at first because I knew it would reveal how much of a fool i was for staying in such a terrible relationship for so long but i’m glad i read it .
June 20, 2023
“Your heart is fragile, precious cargo. Handle it with care.”
started reading this for a project that I’m working on and I want to express how helpful and informative this book is. I liked all the examples and the lists that the author included, as well as his caring, encouraging framework for navigating abuse.
I think this would also be a good book for people to read even if they haven’t experienced narcissistic abuse, so that they know what signs to be aware of.
started reading this for a project that I’m working on and I want to express how helpful and informative this book is. I liked all the examples and the lists that the author included, as well as his caring, encouraging framework for navigating abuse.
I think this would also be a good book for people to read even if they haven’t experienced narcissistic abuse, so that they know what signs to be aware of.
December 3, 2025
This is a super easy read - an easy one sitting read. I connected so much to parts of this, and realized that I am probably the perfect victim to narcissistic abuse - which is likely why I’ve found myself in so many relationships like this. The amount of times I thought “Oh my gosh, I’ve heard / lived this,” was staggering.
I think this was an important part of my healing and protecting myself. A must read for empaths. ❤️
I think this was an important part of my healing and protecting myself. A must read for empaths. ❤️
June 24, 2021
Excellent material
This book is a life saver. You’ll learn the traits not only of the narcissist but also of empaths which will enable you change your own behavior ultimately enabling you to spot a narcissist and steer clear! There are just enough examples to make the points clear without the undertones of a memoir. Read it. Buy it for your empath friend.
This book is a life saver. You’ll learn the traits not only of the narcissist but also of empaths which will enable you change your own behavior ultimately enabling you to spot a narcissist and steer clear! There are just enough examples to make the points clear without the undertones of a memoir. Read it. Buy it for your empath friend.
July 4, 2021
This speaks truth
I gave the book 4 stars because it is a great book to read and it those help open your eyes to a lot. I felt that book covered mostly everything about a gaslighter but some things were left out. I admire the writer for sharing his life's experience with a gaslighter as he gives victims hope of a better life
I gave the book 4 stars because it is a great book to read and it those help open your eyes to a lot. I felt that book covered mostly everything about a gaslighter but some things were left out. I admire the writer for sharing his life's experience with a gaslighter as he gives victims hope of a better life
March 27, 2022
This book incredible. I have been working with a therapist and read this book at the same time. It really helped me put into perspective that it wasn’t me. And that I will be okay. I absolutely would recommend this book to anyone suffering or even for young adults before entering relationships to notice the signs.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 71 reviews