Tedious, unamusing, NYC romcom, with unrepented dog abuse
Autumn Jones is 28 years old. She has a master's degree and has traveled extensively. Her current goal is to obtain a PhD in sociology at Columbia University in NYC while living with her older sister Helen, who is 38 and married to a wealthy plastic surgeon. Autumn has barely seen Helen during the past 20 years, since her sister left their small hometown in Wisconsin, and she does not know Helen at all well. Her mother does, though, and she strongly urges Autumn to reconsider trying to live with Helen for a long period of time. Her mother insists that Helen has always been, and continues to be, an extremely difficult person to be around, even for short family visits. But Autumn assumes her mother is simply trying to clip her wings and keep her in her stultifying hometown. She is convinced that, if she can successfully help Helen organize a dog show, which Helen claims is quite prestigious, Helen will be so impressed with her, she will allow Autumn to live with her, rent free, the entire time that she pursues her doctorate.
Autumn wants to study under the aegis of a famous, African-American sociologist, Dr Gladiola Sims. It is the only degree program Autumn is willing to consider, in pursuit of ultimately becoming a college professor. There is no mention of her having any onerous student loans from the six years she has already spent obtaining her BA and MA degrees, or how she plans to pay the exorbitant tuition of over $100,000 for a doctorate at Columbia, given that she has no savings and no job. In addition, it can take up to seven years to finish a PhD, including 48 units of class work as well as researching and writing a dissertation. She is clearly assuming that she will be able to live with Helen and her husband all that time. She is also moving to NYC before she has even applied to Columbia, and she has no idea if she will be accepted.
When Autumn arrives on Helen's doorstep, she is informed by her cab driver that this is a ritzy neighborhood where only very rich people can afford to live, and the enormous mansion that is Helen's home certainly seems in keeping with that claim. Autumn knocks on Helen's door again and again, but nobody lets her in. After several hours of sitting on the stoop in a cold wind, Helen finally arrives and acts as if it is a huge surprise that Autumn is even there.
Helen's mansion has five stories, with eight bedrooms, seven bathrooms, and a walled garden. But instead of offering Autumn a comfortable bedroom, Helen puts her in a dinky maid's room, which is a converted pantry off of the kitchen. It contains only a small twin bed, a dresser, and a tiny bathroom with a minuscule shower.
Autumn discovers for the first time that Helen and Stanley Smith have legally changed their names to Helena and Stanhope Smythe, and have become unbearably pretentious snobs. Helen acts like Cinderella's evil stepmother toward Autumn. She seems determined to turn Autumn into an unpaid drudge. She also demands that Autumn not tell anyone that she is Helen's sister, in case it will be assumed that Autumn is doing the vast majority of the work organizing the dog show solely in order to give Helen's dog a leg up in winning the competition.
In that regard, Autumn learns that the inspiration for the dog show is Helen's exorbitantly expensive, pedigreed poodle, Celine, whom she intends to enter in the dog show. Autumn is shocked to discover that poor Celine seems no more real to her narcissistic sister than any other of her status-conscious possessions. Helen does not treat Celine as a living being with emotional needs for love and companionship. She never pets Celine or pays her any attention at all, and poor Celine is constantly imprisoned in a cage except when a part-time, domestic servant, whom Helen obnoxiously refers to as, "my house boy," takes Celine outside to relieve itself, or to obedience training, the veterinarian, and grooming appointments.
The first night Autumn is at her sister's house, Helen and Stan leave for a fancy party and abandon Autumn to her own devices. There is no food in the house, so Autumn decides to go to a nearby pizzeria. She feels sorry for Celine and takes the dog with her. But she has a difficult time managing Celine, and Celine accidentally knocks Autumn into a large planter at the pizzeria.
Jack is a 31-year-old veterinarian whose office is a couple of blocks away from Helen's mansion. He has been a licensed vet for four years, and he bought his practice two years ago from the retiring vet who owned it. Jack is an extremely handsome man, and he is sick of being treated like sexually available man candy by an endless parade of bored socialites, who pretend their pampered pets are sick so they can get a chance to flirt with Jack, in an attempt to seduce him. He has become completely burned out with these awful women, and he is determined to sell his practice and move back to the small town in Illinois where he was born and raised.
Jack and Autumn meet for the first time at the pizzeria. He rescues her from the planter and pays for her pizza before returning to his clinic. He normally closes up at a reasonable hour, but he has decided to spend the night at the clinic in order to closely monitor a dog he is treating for pneumonia.
Autumn cannot resist feeding lonely, abandoned Celine a big slice of her pepperoni pizza, and she is horrified when Celine's eyes swell up, and she breaks out in hives. Autumn frantically searches online for the closest vet, which turns out to be Jack. Fortunately for suffering Celine, Jack lets Autumn bring her to the clinic so he can give her a shot of Benadryl. He says he wants to observe Celine for a couple of hours, and during that time, he and Autumn converse about their lives, including why Autumn is in NYC.
Jack and Autumn are immediately, mutually, attracted to each other, because he is handsome, and she is beautiful, and both are unpretentious people, in sharp contrast to everyone else who lives in this upscale neighborhood. But shortly before Autumn and Celine go home, Jack overhears Autumn's side of a strained phone conversation with Helen, and he leaps to a wild conclusion that Autumn is living with a rich, controlling jerk, who is paying for her PhD tuition and providing free room and board in exchange for her sexual favors.
It seems to be a technique that this author frequently employs, to have the FMC and MMC talk at cross purpose to create what is supposed to be a comedy of errors. This author also uses the human tendency toward confirmation bias to keep the miscommunication rolling along. In this case, once Jack has made the assumption that Autumn is in an emotionally abusive relationship with a much older sugar daddy, thereafter, everything she says or does he automatically misinterprets to confirm this false conclusion. When he attempts to urge Autumn, for what he assures himself is her own good, to remove herself from a supposed self-destructive arrangement, he does it so clumsily that she, incorrectly, concludes that Jack thinks she is a lazy bum for living off of the wealth of an older man. Because her sister has sworn her to secrecy about their blood tie, Autumn doesn't correct him. She just gets angrily offended, thereby additionally stretching out their misunderstanding.
Scenes that continue to promote this irritating false impression are interspersed with Cinderella scenes with Autumn's obnoxious sister until 54% of the book. At that point, at long last, Jack and Autumn sit down and communicate in a direct manner, like two intelligent adults, which allows Jack to finally realize how badly he has misjudged and disrespected Autumn. He abjectly apologizes, but though it is mutually obvious immediately afterwards that they both want to kiss each other, no kiss occurs. Because the second romantic conflict remains between them until the last 2% of the novel: Jack is moving away, and Autumn is staying in NYC.
The several main plots in this story, the romance, the Cinderella situation, Autumn's goal of attending Columbia, Jack's goal of selling his business, and the pompous farce of a private dog show, are presented in this novel via a rotating repeat of redundant scenes about them. This format became quite tedious for me at about the 60% mark. Rather than doing a flat-out DNF, I opted to jump to the end of this book to satisfy my curiosity as to how the author would create an HEA out of the unlikely combination of life goals of Jack and Autumn. Not surprisingly, what we are offered is an HFN ending.
Other than jumping to wrong conclusions and disrespecting Autumn for half of this book, Jack is obviously meant to be a cinnamon roll hero, because he eventually gives his all for love and is the only one making any sacrifices for himself and Autumn to end up together. She is a typical counterpart to a cinnamon roll MMC, an FMC who simply allows her guy to lovingly sacrifice for her, while she merely accepts his acts of service as her due.
As for Autumn's doctorate aspirations, she has no growth arc whatsoever, remaining the same naively flaky individual throughout. Via the convenient means of deus ex machina, at the end of the novel, her doctoral dream comes true, without any real effort on her part.
Regarding the Cinderella plot, at the very end of the novel, Helen manifests a complete personality transplant, rejecting entirely her previous cherished identity as the arrogant, condescending wife of a rich plastic surgeon, who treats her sister and parents like dirt. Suddenly she becomes a raving feminist, who is supportive of women like herself who are regretting having sold their souls to be rich socialites, and affectionate and caring toward her sister and parents. It is a transformation that is, frankly, unbelievable to me, given how sincerely, mindlessly committed she has been to existing as a heartless termagant throughout the previous 95% of this novel.
This author is known for writing G-rated romance, in which there is never anything more than a few kisses, and this story is no exception. There is no such thing as sexual chemistry in this or any other of her asexual novels. And yet at the same time, ironically, much in the manner of early 1960s, bedroom-farce movies, there are multiple cringe-inducing references to the sex lives of the socialites that Helen has surrounded herself with, including a promiscuous barracuda socialite, with whom Jack had a brief affair prior to the events of this novel, when she seduced him under the false pretense that she was a decent human being.
The main individual who is completely, unforgivably harmed, with no redress in this story, is Helen's pedigreed poodle Celine. There is no change whatsoever in Helen's heartless behavior toward this poor dog across the length of this novel, and Celine disappears entirely from the story during the epilogue. That cruel oversight is something that I find unacceptable. If it weren't for the unalleviated abuse of Celine, I might have given this romance 2 stars.