Only Trying to Help: Higher Standards for Well-Meaning Friends, Colleagues, Parents, & Partners

by Kate Watson

Informal counselors walk among us. They are our best friends, bartenders, siblings, parents, God parents, mentors, neighbors, activists, volunteers, teachers, coaches, and colleagues at the watercooler. They're all people who try to help― doing their best to listen, communicate empathy, and set boundaries, despite not having a fancy credential as an advisor or therapist.

If you're one of these helpers, and you're tired of winging it in your relationships, this book is for you. This book is for the people who want to support a friend who is battling cancer. This book is for the people who want to help loved ones grieve the loss of jobs, marriages, pregnancies, pets, and parents. Dr. Kate Watson merges her ten years of experience as a mental health professional with decades of research in psychology, linguistics, and sociology to develop a guide for those compassion souls who want to become more effective helpers.

Through the use of storytelling, Dr. Watson explores well-meaning encouragement, well-meaning compliments, well-meaning advice, well-meaning humor, well-meaning lies, well-meaning apologies, and well-meaning gift giving. Some stories will make you laugh, and some will make you cringe, but you are likely to notice your own voice and heart reflected in these tales.

144 pages, Hardcover

Published May 27, 2021

Reviews

[Jo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dr. Watson writes a concise framework for well-intentioned people to do better. 4 simple rules that can teach all of to be better helpers at the individual level. Examples touch the heart and the funny-bone.

[Heiki Eesmaa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Really like some of the ideas: most attempts to help are not particularly helpful or empathic. At the same time it's kind of a compilation of blog posts, very personal and long-winded stories. And at the same time again it's not particularly long. So I like it but don't love it.