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Excess Baggage: Getting Out of Your Own Way
What is it that keeps getting in the way of your success, undermines your relationships, dissolves your peace of mind? It's your excess baggagethe hidden aspects of your personality that makes life harder than it has to be.
On this compelling audio, Dr. Judith Sills profiles the five major blind spots of self-defeating behavior and offers simple, pragmatic exercises designed to eliminate them. The steps she recommends are simple, but their impact can be enormous. Because once you discover how you've been holding yourself back, you'll have the power to free yourself from yourself
On this compelling audio, Dr. Judith Sills profiles the five major blind spots of self-defeating behavior and offers simple, pragmatic exercises designed to eliminate them. The steps she recommends are simple, but their impact can be enormous. Because once you discover how you've been holding yourself back, you'll have the power to free yourself from yourself
288 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1993
26 people are currently reading
161 people want to read
About the author
Judith Sills
16 books14 followersMedia psychologist, keynoter and workplace consultant, Judith Sills, Ph.D, is the author of the #1 New York Times bestseller, Excess Baggage: Getting Out of Your Own Way, a clear guide to your own personality pitfalls and a road map for steering around those of your staff and colleagues. She is author of five other popular psychology books which have been translated into 11 languages and is a widely cited expert and nationally recognized consultant in the business of relationships.
Dr. Sills is the contributing editor for the workplace at Psychology Today, where she writes a regular column, which has been quoted in both The Wall Street Journal and the NY Times. In addition, her work has been cited in, among others, US News and World Report, Time, and The Washington Post, as well as on CNN and MSNBC. Dr. Sills is also a regular contributor to the TODAY SHOW, as well as a frequent guest expert on other national radio and television platforms.
A three year National Science Foundation Fellow, Judith Sills received her Ph.D. from the Graduate Faculty of the New School for Social Research in personality and social psychology. She is licensed in Pennsylvania, where she maintains a private consultation practice. From her base in Philadelphia, Dr. Sills travels nationally to address groups across a wide range of industries, teaching a sophisticated skills set with one aim: to make your work less work.
Dr. Sills is the contributing editor for the workplace at Psychology Today, where she writes a regular column, which has been quoted in both The Wall Street Journal and the NY Times. In addition, her work has been cited in, among others, US News and World Report, Time, and The Washington Post, as well as on CNN and MSNBC. Dr. Sills is also a regular contributor to the TODAY SHOW, as well as a frequent guest expert on other national radio and television platforms.
A three year National Science Foundation Fellow, Judith Sills received her Ph.D. from the Graduate Faculty of the New School for Social Research in personality and social psychology. She is licensed in Pennsylvania, where she maintains a private consultation practice. From her base in Philadelphia, Dr. Sills travels nationally to address groups across a wide range of industries, teaching a sophisticated skills set with one aim: to make your work less work.
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Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews
August 10, 2018
I read the 1993 paperback with cover showing a balloon lifting off, the person in the basket throwing out sandbags. On each bag is written a failing; melodrama, superiority, perfection. If this still gets you reading, it's a run down of examples of these types of issues which may cloud your head and stop you learning and growing and generally being nice to be with.
We can all be sure that we are not perfect. And perfect means you don't need to learn anything, so you would be difficult company anyway. I wonder if some people applied the lessons to their treatment by their partners - instead of 'I always need to be right, and its a problem' they might take from it 'he/ she always needs to be right and it's a problem'.
Very dated now but not too complicated.
We can all be sure that we are not perfect. And perfect means you don't need to learn anything, so you would be difficult company anyway. I wonder if some people applied the lessons to their treatment by their partners - instead of 'I always need to be right, and its a problem' they might take from it 'he/ she always needs to be right and it's a problem'.
Very dated now but not too complicated.
June 10, 2017
This is a hard book to write a review on because in several of the chapters describing various pathologies of baggage that people carry, I kept seeing myself in the undesirable roles.
Chapter 3 Need to be Right
Chapter 4 (Superiority Complex)
Chapter 5 You Dread Rejection
Chapter 6 You Create Drama
Chapter 7 You Cherish Rage
Chapter 3 Need to be Right
Chapter 4 (Superiority Complex)
Chapter 5 You Dread Rejection
Chapter 6 You Create Drama
Chapter 7 You Cherish Rage
November 16, 2016
Well, I managed to kill four highlighters while reading this book.
I added Excess Baggage to my bag-o-books at the store because it sounded interesting. After all, every single person alive has some sort of baggage - some worse than others - and I wanted to see what this book had to say about it. A lot of times, books like these say, "you poor thing. No one has ever had it worse than you. Milk your wounds, brave soul. You deserve it!" But, they don't explain much, they don't give ideas on how to heal, and they're largely fluff.
Not this book, not Excess Baggage. Judith Sills has written a phenomenal book that does acknowledge that we've got some sort of pain going on and that we all do deserve to feel that way. But, she tells us why we're prone to certain baggage and how it influences our lives right down to what we unconsciously do. Then, she gives ideas and exercises on how to overcome the baggage.
More likely than not, you will find yourself in each chapter, some more than others. I didn't find much of myself in the chapters about drama, but I did see a lot of myself in the needing to be right chapters. I highly recommend that the reader does not skip chapters for this reason - even if it doesn't sound like you, you may still find some part of you in that chapter, and it could be enlightening for you. Self discovery is always an interesting journey.
Excess Baggage is easy to read. Sills eliminated all fluff with this one. It's like you're sitting across from her and she's guiding you. I didn't read this one in the normal "reading voice" in my head. I read it like I imagine her voice to be - soothing but firm; to the point but understanding; no BS but comforting.
Each chapter is laid out the same way, and it's broken up well. You'll get an overview, a portrait and a prescription. The exercises are easy in the sense that there are not long and drawn out, but hard because they require serious change and perseverance to complete. Sills warns that this will be uncomfortable for the person doing them, but they will be worth it.
This is the type of book that I'd recommend to anyone. It's not catered to one group of people, or one technique, or one area of life. Because we all carry baggage, this is for anyone and everyone. There's a lot of revelations in this book that a lot of them don't have. This is a great read, and I'm glad I randomly tossed it into my bag-o-books.
I added Excess Baggage to my bag-o-books at the store because it sounded interesting. After all, every single person alive has some sort of baggage - some worse than others - and I wanted to see what this book had to say about it. A lot of times, books like these say, "you poor thing. No one has ever had it worse than you. Milk your wounds, brave soul. You deserve it!" But, they don't explain much, they don't give ideas on how to heal, and they're largely fluff.
Not this book, not Excess Baggage. Judith Sills has written a phenomenal book that does acknowledge that we've got some sort of pain going on and that we all do deserve to feel that way. But, she tells us why we're prone to certain baggage and how it influences our lives right down to what we unconsciously do. Then, she gives ideas and exercises on how to overcome the baggage.
More likely than not, you will find yourself in each chapter, some more than others. I didn't find much of myself in the chapters about drama, but I did see a lot of myself in the needing to be right chapters. I highly recommend that the reader does not skip chapters for this reason - even if it doesn't sound like you, you may still find some part of you in that chapter, and it could be enlightening for you. Self discovery is always an interesting journey.
Excess Baggage is easy to read. Sills eliminated all fluff with this one. It's like you're sitting across from her and she's guiding you. I didn't read this one in the normal "reading voice" in my head. I read it like I imagine her voice to be - soothing but firm; to the point but understanding; no BS but comforting.
Each chapter is laid out the same way, and it's broken up well. You'll get an overview, a portrait and a prescription. The exercises are easy in the sense that there are not long and drawn out, but hard because they require serious change and perseverance to complete. Sills warns that this will be uncomfortable for the person doing them, but they will be worth it.
This is the type of book that I'd recommend to anyone. It's not catered to one group of people, or one technique, or one area of life. Because we all carry baggage, this is for anyone and everyone. There's a lot of revelations in this book that a lot of them don't have. This is a great read, and I'm glad I randomly tossed it into my bag-o-books.
October 20, 2021
I asked for, and got, this book as a Christmas present in 1993. I had read Melody Beattie's "Codependent No More", and it was good, but "Excess Baggage" was much more helpful to me. For nearly 30 years, I have remembered Dr. Sills' words and have shared them with others when warranted, and when I was asked for help!
My sister and I were just discussing "Excess Baggage" this afternoon because life is a little rough right now (most of it caused by not "getting out of my own way"). Time to read it again!
I'm sure this book is timeless and will help many, maybe all, who read it.
My sister and I were just discussing "Excess Baggage" this afternoon because life is a little rough right now (most of it caused by not "getting out of my own way"). Time to read it again!
I'm sure this book is timeless and will help many, maybe all, who read it.
August 9, 2007
This book was so insightful, I bought most of the other books Judith Sills wrote, particularly on relationships. Unlike a lot of self help books, this one is more about balance and finding a more realistic perspective on life, rather than diagnosing oneself for neuroses or aiming at perfection in human interaction. I recommend it highly to most anyone.
April 26, 2022
Demasiado útil, es un libro difícil de conseguir en estos tiempos pero sirve mucho para el autoconocimiento y encontrar muchas respuestas
April 2, 2018
This book not only helps you discover personality traits that could be making you miserable and affecting your relations; it gives techniques to overcome them. The author gives many examples of each baggage and practical alternatives to deal with them. It touches diverse areas of life: relationship with oneself, with family, at work.
It's a book to read slowly and digest.
I reread this book. It was great to see my growth. I recommend it to anyone who wants to work on having healthier relationships.
It's a book to read slowly and digest.
I reread this book. It was great to see my growth. I recommend it to anyone who wants to work on having healthier relationships.
April 1, 2009
I didn't read the whole thing, just the chapters that specifically applied to me. It had some good advice on how we can be our best selves- helps you recognize strengths and weaknesses and then exercises to help you overcome them.
December 29, 2007
Sills is a terrific writer and has a way of getting to the heart of messy matters. This book is a straightforward, clear-talking approach to handling the tough issues in your life.
April 20, 2009
I haven't had a book help me as much as this one in a LONG time!!! SO much food for thought, self-study ideas, new perspectives. Am thrilled I found this at the used bookstore--
December 22, 2020
Easy to understand. Gives one a reality check. Helped me to see areas I needed to work on and set goals in a more productive way.
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December 23, 2012hola
September 4, 2013
Getting out of your own way. Now, there's a hellava great concept!
July 5, 2015
What an excellent self-help book! Very insightful. I feel like I learned so much about myself!
Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews