What do you think?
Rate this book
Unbelonging
Where do those relegated to the margins find belonging?
In her luminous debut Unbelonging, Gayatri Sethi deftly interweaves verse, memoir, and a bold call to action as she recounts her experience searching for home in the diaspora.
Drawing upon her life story as a Tanzanian-born-Punjabi turned American educator and mother of biracial children, Sethi tells an intimate tale of stepping into her power while confronting misogyny, racism, and empire.
Spanning decades and continents– from Partition to the Black Lives Matter movement, South Africa to Atlanta– Unbelonging tells urgent truths, inspires critical self-reflection, and emboldens its readers to pursue radical forms of justice, compassion, and solidarity.
In her luminous debut Unbelonging, Gayatri Sethi deftly interweaves verse, memoir, and a bold call to action as she recounts her experience searching for home in the diaspora.
Drawing upon her life story as a Tanzanian-born-Punjabi turned American educator and mother of biracial children, Sethi tells an intimate tale of stepping into her power while confronting misogyny, racism, and empire.
Spanning decades and continents– from Partition to the Black Lives Matter movement, South Africa to Atlanta– Unbelonging tells urgent truths, inspires critical self-reflection, and emboldens its readers to pursue radical forms of justice, compassion, and solidarity.
293 pages, Paperback
Published August 1, 2021
4 people are currently reading
286 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 43 reviews
July 9, 2021
This book is part poetry, part memoir, part workbook...and it feels like it shouldn't work but it absolutely does. It takes all of these things and ends up with a really beautiful and powerful book.
October 28, 2021
Gayatri Sethi’s Unbelonging is a unique mix of memoir, poetry, and personal lessons. The book is divided into three sections: Desi-ish, African-ish, and American-ish. Adopting a fragmented poetic style akin to spoken word, Sethi multiplies herself into several forms to pontificate over how she has been identified by the world, and how these identities ultimately serve to work against her actual individuality.
Unbelonging is a celebration of the human being in between cultures, nations, and identities. To choose to purposefully unbelong is a hard ask for most of us, but Sethi has provided us a pathway to begin to live within cultures, but with a sense of self-love and duty.
Unbelonging is a celebration of the human being in between cultures, nations, and identities. To choose to purposefully unbelong is a hard ask for most of us, but Sethi has provided us a pathway to begin to live within cultures, but with a sense of self-love and duty.
August 11, 2021
Unbelonging is an affirmation and a conversation, and an invitation to reflect and engage. In poignant prose and verse, Gayatri draws from her own journey across boundaries and beyond conformations to unabashedly explore themes around race, gender, migration, and identity. And she does it with unflinching hope and profound compassion. UNBELONGING is a powerful cry for justice and a truthful call to self-love and collective healing. A must-read for the youth and for anyone from the South Asian and African diaspora.
January 2, 2022
Unbelonging by Gayatri Sethi is one of those non-fiction books every diasporic person should read. With palpable empathy and a good dose of vulnerability, Sethi grapples with the heritage and history that brought her, a South Asian woman, to the USA from Tanzania via Botswana. She speaks aloud the questions, confusions, and internal conflicts silently borne by intersectional people. Those of us who exist in the intersecting margins of different cultures, who are often too much of this or too little of that, who are fated to “unbelonging”. This book made me think and rethink the value propositions I have inherited, swallowed, accepted as truth for too long. It made me stop and underline, it made me interrogate my own past. In the end, I came away with the view that the greatest triumph of this book lies in Sethi’s brave and incisive observations about the interaction of black and brown people in our neocolonial world. I can only hope that her example and her clarion call to solidarity will be heeded.
September 25, 2021
Written in verse with elements of memoir, this is a special book full of honesty, emotion, and brilliance. Gayatri Sethi puts into words what so many feel about not truly belonging anywhere and having to contend with others’ expectations and labels. This is a book to return to again and again.
Read
August 9, 2021“thank heavens i know myself / enough to / not be limited / constrained / or contained / by words / that are not / my own.”
In an expansive work that encompasses the art of memoir, poetry, and intersectional feminist workbooks, debut author Gayatri Sethi dwells on the experiences of oppression and otherness—as she names it, the feeling of unbelonging. She writes on these experiences in the context of feeling “desi-ish” as a Punjabi woman born in Tanzania, teaching in America, and mothering bi-racial children. Sethi pours her soul onto each page, describing in visceral detail how she has come to claim her own strength while battling racism, misogyny, and the complexities of a multi-cultural identity. Unbelonging spans across decades, nations, and movements while remaining grounded in the self-reflection of one woman.
Unbelonging is one of the most unique works that I’ve ever come across. I say “work” not only because it defies the limitations of genre, but because it both inspires and requires effort from the reader to evaluate and understand. I am not a person familiar with nearly any of the experiences Gayatri Sethi imparts in this piece—like being an immigrant, being brown, or having a family history spread across nations—so it was impossible for me to truly understand the emotions behind it. However, that did not take away from the rich storytelling and visceral verse of Sethi’s debut. It compelled me to take a deeper look at my own privileges and history while attempting to absorb the complex web of Sethi’s experiences. I found the format she wrote in to be refreshing and effective as well, with a mixture of poems, quotes, anecdotes, and research prompts organized by specific themes. It should be noted that this piece touches on heavy subjects, and while many young adult readers will have something to learn or connect to in this work, it may not be suitable for everyone. Unbelonging is a radical, profound, and complex piece which will enhearten readers to look both outside and inside themselves.
Content Warnings: Systemic racism, anti-Blackness, partition trauma, abuse, interpersonal violence, xenophobia, immigrant trauma, casteism, misogyny, anxiety
(Pine Reads Review would like to thank Evina Yosiardi and the publisher for providing us with a copy in exchange for an honest review.)
Follow us on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook @pinereadsreview and check out our website at www.pinereadsreview.com for reviews, author interviews, blogs, podcast episodes, and more!
In an expansive work that encompasses the art of memoir, poetry, and intersectional feminist workbooks, debut author Gayatri Sethi dwells on the experiences of oppression and otherness—as she names it, the feeling of unbelonging. She writes on these experiences in the context of feeling “desi-ish” as a Punjabi woman born in Tanzania, teaching in America, and mothering bi-racial children. Sethi pours her soul onto each page, describing in visceral detail how she has come to claim her own strength while battling racism, misogyny, and the complexities of a multi-cultural identity. Unbelonging spans across decades, nations, and movements while remaining grounded in the self-reflection of one woman.
Unbelonging is one of the most unique works that I’ve ever come across. I say “work” not only because it defies the limitations of genre, but because it both inspires and requires effort from the reader to evaluate and understand. I am not a person familiar with nearly any of the experiences Gayatri Sethi imparts in this piece—like being an immigrant, being brown, or having a family history spread across nations—so it was impossible for me to truly understand the emotions behind it. However, that did not take away from the rich storytelling and visceral verse of Sethi’s debut. It compelled me to take a deeper look at my own privileges and history while attempting to absorb the complex web of Sethi’s experiences. I found the format she wrote in to be refreshing and effective as well, with a mixture of poems, quotes, anecdotes, and research prompts organized by specific themes. It should be noted that this piece touches on heavy subjects, and while many young adult readers will have something to learn or connect to in this work, it may not be suitable for everyone. Unbelonging is a radical, profound, and complex piece which will enhearten readers to look both outside and inside themselves.
Content Warnings: Systemic racism, anti-Blackness, partition trauma, abuse, interpersonal violence, xenophobia, immigrant trauma, casteism, misogyny, anxiety
(Pine Reads Review would like to thank Evina Yosiardi and the publisher for providing us with a copy in exchange for an honest review.)
Follow us on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook @pinereadsreview and check out our website at www.pinereadsreview.com for reviews, author interviews, blogs, podcast episodes, and more!
September 12, 2021
Wow! This book makes you think and empowers you. The words have a bite to them and the author Dr. Sethi doesn't hold back. It's sizzling. The words are lyrical, inspiring and unique. The story is adeptly balanced between verse and prose and is a work of art.
I don't think this book is intended to be a quick read but rather digested and incorporated little by little so that ample time is given for reflection. I liked that the book had questions and encouraged the reader to write directly in the book.
I read this book a little a day trying to savor it as long as I could! When you finish the book, it leaves you with space to ponder and reflect .
I can't wait to read more from this talented author.
I don't think this book is intended to be a quick read but rather digested and incorporated little by little so that ample time is given for reflection. I liked that the book had questions and encouraged the reader to write directly in the book.
I read this book a little a day trying to savor it as long as I could! When you finish the book, it leaves you with space to ponder and reflect .
I can't wait to read more from this talented author.
October 19, 2021
Unbelonging is first and foremost the personal, lived experiences of its creator, Gayatri Sethi. Period. There’s no questioning that fact. There are no words to describe how it feels to read the vulnerability and strength of a whole individual painstakingly - lovingly - written onto pages except to say this is the radical honesty I crave when I say I love and value storytelling, creativity, and words. What follows is a meager attempt to express some intensely powerful themes and ideas I connected with after the first read.
Unbelonging is a testament to the daily lived experience of inheritors of diaspora. A testament, yes, but it would be completely unfair to call this a representation of those experiences. In fact, just about every poem reinforces just how personal experiences are, and how deeply rooted they are in the distinct collection of our identities (whether chosen or externally imposed), our life journeys, our decisions, our values, our biases, our families, our company, and so on… The testament Unbelonging provides is what this diaspora does share: the legacy of disrupted stories and struggling to balance varied identities, as well as the journeys of empowerment and reclaiming our words and ourselves.
What we value about poetry and creative writing of all forms is the space it gives us to explore and relate to ideas and experiences. We especially find writing and art meaningful when it inspires us and empowers us to grow our perspectives. Many of us read a piece we connect with and rush to share it and meditate on it with others, whether in a classroom, with a friend over lengthy text messages and excited voice notes, or in a social media post #spilledink.
Gayatri Sethi’s genre-bending book memorializes this way we connect with creative works through embedding space to reflect, with reflection prompts and space within its very pages to jot down thoughts as well as discussion points and research terms to explore for ourselves. In this way, the opportunity to grow and be moved by her work is more accessible than ever - one need not even have a friend or a classroom to run to in order to contemplate on her striking words. Although I highly recommend seeking or creating spaces to reflect on Unbelonging where you can, and best of all, (a reminder to us all) spaces to apply what we’ve learned from the work Gayatri Sethi put in to provide us a space to grow.
Unbelonging is nearly 300 pages of an empowerment solidarity anthem, a call to claim our spaces and our voices combined with a reminder that as intimidating as it is to take that step for ourselves (and validly so; silencing and marginalization is an intentional effort and strategy by the status quo), we’re never alone. So many parts of this book say it, but this excerpt stuck out to me:
“Disconnection is lifelessness.
Silence breeds purposelessness in me.
I was not born, I do not live, I was not raised for silence.”
(pg. 75)
Unbelonging challenges our internalized prejudices and warns of the threat in not thinking critically about the isms (especially racism/anti-blackness) we uphold whether with action or with inaction, even if we know better (it’s one thing to know; it’s another to do). Those isms in our worldviews, actions and inactions, language, silence, and so on are intensely uncomfortable to confront, but an absolutely necessary one. Why? In short, as our beloved writer puts it, “it’s all violence” (pg. 185). I say that to myself first, because on a personal level, Unbelonging reminds me that my contribution to the loving world I want to see is showing up... Understanding is not even close to enough. The irony is not lost on me that it’s what I struggle most with that I see the most of in my reading of these raw and absolutely stunning words. As to you, future reader, be prepared, but don’t shrink away from this distinguished opportunity to grow. And don’t forget, our work on ourselves is never ever done.
When you do pick Unbelonging up, be warned… You’ll never feel like you have finished with this book. That means that it will take you time to read the book cover-to cover. It also means that the words will beckon you over and over, and each will leave you with a new meaningful experience and a range of reflections and inquiries. Don’t miss the opportunity to be so moved, and ready a writing tool for the journey! You won’t regret it!
Unbelonging is a testament to the daily lived experience of inheritors of diaspora. A testament, yes, but it would be completely unfair to call this a representation of those experiences. In fact, just about every poem reinforces just how personal experiences are, and how deeply rooted they are in the distinct collection of our identities (whether chosen or externally imposed), our life journeys, our decisions, our values, our biases, our families, our company, and so on… The testament Unbelonging provides is what this diaspora does share: the legacy of disrupted stories and struggling to balance varied identities, as well as the journeys of empowerment and reclaiming our words and ourselves.
What we value about poetry and creative writing of all forms is the space it gives us to explore and relate to ideas and experiences. We especially find writing and art meaningful when it inspires us and empowers us to grow our perspectives. Many of us read a piece we connect with and rush to share it and meditate on it with others, whether in a classroom, with a friend over lengthy text messages and excited voice notes, or in a social media post #spilledink.
Gayatri Sethi’s genre-bending book memorializes this way we connect with creative works through embedding space to reflect, with reflection prompts and space within its very pages to jot down thoughts as well as discussion points and research terms to explore for ourselves. In this way, the opportunity to grow and be moved by her work is more accessible than ever - one need not even have a friend or a classroom to run to in order to contemplate on her striking words. Although I highly recommend seeking or creating spaces to reflect on Unbelonging where you can, and best of all, (a reminder to us all) spaces to apply what we’ve learned from the work Gayatri Sethi put in to provide us a space to grow.
Unbelonging is nearly 300 pages of an empowerment solidarity anthem, a call to claim our spaces and our voices combined with a reminder that as intimidating as it is to take that step for ourselves (and validly so; silencing and marginalization is an intentional effort and strategy by the status quo), we’re never alone. So many parts of this book say it, but this excerpt stuck out to me:
“Disconnection is lifelessness.
Silence breeds purposelessness in me.
I was not born, I do not live, I was not raised for silence.”
(pg. 75)
Unbelonging challenges our internalized prejudices and warns of the threat in not thinking critically about the isms (especially racism/anti-blackness) we uphold whether with action or with inaction, even if we know better (it’s one thing to know; it’s another to do). Those isms in our worldviews, actions and inactions, language, silence, and so on are intensely uncomfortable to confront, but an absolutely necessary one. Why? In short, as our beloved writer puts it, “it’s all violence” (pg. 185). I say that to myself first, because on a personal level, Unbelonging reminds me that my contribution to the loving world I want to see is showing up... Understanding is not even close to enough. The irony is not lost on me that it’s what I struggle most with that I see the most of in my reading of these raw and absolutely stunning words. As to you, future reader, be prepared, but don’t shrink away from this distinguished opportunity to grow. And don’t forget, our work on ourselves is never ever done.
When you do pick Unbelonging up, be warned… You’ll never feel like you have finished with this book. That means that it will take you time to read the book cover-to cover. It also means that the words will beckon you over and over, and each will leave you with a new meaningful experience and a range of reflections and inquiries. Don’t miss the opportunity to be so moved, and ready a writing tool for the journey! You won’t regret it!
December 23, 2021
This book is a mix of poetry, journaling, reflection, and work. This is the longest I have taken to take in a collection of poetry, and that's probably due to the prompts to reflect as well as the prompts to research further. I have so many thoughts and will have to post a full review still, but this book is for people who are ready to unlearn trauma and unpack the toxic beliefs they may have been taught growing up. This is not a book for anyone looking to glamourize any specific culture, but for the people who are open to reflecting on life with a critical lens rather than rose colored glasses.
November 5, 2021
“I am desi-ish / because I do not have any other words to convey / the complex diasporic perpetual immigration / unbelonging / story that unravels in me and around me.”
Wow, this book in verse spoke to me like an honest magic mirror that could see the depths of my childhood, insecurities, dreams, and aspirations. This is a work of love that requires multiple reads to grasp all of its epiphanies.
I too am of South Asian descent (Bangladeshi), and while Sethi's childhood was spent in different parts of Africa, my upbringing was in Saudi Arabia. I moved to Malaysia when I turned 18 and made Australia my home at 22. I didn’t belong to Bangladesh nor to Saudi Arabia. Being Muslim, my identity was further thrown into confusion after moving to Australia.
Like Sethi, I have questioned many times where I might belong. She warmly embraces me with the words: “Child, you belong nowhere and so you can abide anywhere and make a home everywhere.”
A woman of many identities, Sethi sublimely weaves through her experiences with identity and her wish to “belong”. But it is through the intersectionality of her identities and unlearning toxic behaviours that she has found her place by “unbelonging”. She takes you on a soul-searching journey guiding you with introspective exercises at the end of each chapter. Sethi shepherds you through an expedition of decolonising our minds. Expeditions were what colonised us in the first place!
Unbelonging will help you peel away layers you didn't even know existed. You are what you make of your identity. Societal and cultural expectations, western narratives, trauma, insecurities, all have a hand to play in our perceptions of ourselves and our communities. This book urges you to take a stand, to sit in your thoughts, and decolonise your mind. This book is the loving, stern, comforting, truth bomb throwing older sister we all want and need.
I won't give away much more of this wondrous work of pyar (love) but do read it, once, twice, as many times as you would like.
Thank you Gayatri for your generosity, for gifting me an eCopy, and for writing Unbelonging.
Wow, this book in verse spoke to me like an honest magic mirror that could see the depths of my childhood, insecurities, dreams, and aspirations. This is a work of love that requires multiple reads to grasp all of its epiphanies.
I too am of South Asian descent (Bangladeshi), and while Sethi's childhood was spent in different parts of Africa, my upbringing was in Saudi Arabia. I moved to Malaysia when I turned 18 and made Australia my home at 22. I didn’t belong to Bangladesh nor to Saudi Arabia. Being Muslim, my identity was further thrown into confusion after moving to Australia.
Like Sethi, I have questioned many times where I might belong. She warmly embraces me with the words: “Child, you belong nowhere and so you can abide anywhere and make a home everywhere.”
A woman of many identities, Sethi sublimely weaves through her experiences with identity and her wish to “belong”. But it is through the intersectionality of her identities and unlearning toxic behaviours that she has found her place by “unbelonging”. She takes you on a soul-searching journey guiding you with introspective exercises at the end of each chapter. Sethi shepherds you through an expedition of decolonising our minds. Expeditions were what colonised us in the first place!
Unbelonging will help you peel away layers you didn't even know existed. You are what you make of your identity. Societal and cultural expectations, western narratives, trauma, insecurities, all have a hand to play in our perceptions of ourselves and our communities. This book urges you to take a stand, to sit in your thoughts, and decolonise your mind. This book is the loving, stern, comforting, truth bomb throwing older sister we all want and need.
I won't give away much more of this wondrous work of pyar (love) but do read it, once, twice, as many times as you would like.
Thank you Gayatri for your generosity, for gifting me an eCopy, and for writing Unbelonging.
August 26, 2021
I am grateful to Gayatri aunty for providing me an early copy of this book to read. Unbelonging talks about her experiences - searching for home in diaspora, confronting misogyny, and racism. One of my favorite verses talks about chai and mental health especially in Desi/ South-Asian cultures. The words in this book will push readers out of their comfort zones, and provide a chance to reflect.
A disruptive and much-needed book that I am really glad to have had a chance to read.
A disruptive and much-needed book that I am really glad to have had a chance to read.
August 26, 2021
Just as Sethi’s identity is anchored “&…&…&” so her book leaves you craving more — ripples of commas punctuating history, self-exploration, and self-discovery. I can say I have never read anything like this— a work of art that is timeless as it is relevant.
January 3, 2022
Unbelonging by Gayatri Sethi
I was kindly gifted this book by my favourite aunty on Instagram, after wanting to get my hands on it for so long! As it’s not available in the UK yet, I finally got to read and it surpassed all of the expectations. It was so much more than just personal, it was informational, politically challenging and explores many cultural and racial topics. The greatest first book of the year to read.
This book was messy, unconventional and so out of the ‘ticked box’, that’s why it spoke to me the way it did. Each word felt like a personal attack to the uncomfortable questions I avoid asking myself. Each spoken word piece (Especially Root Truth which felt like a mantra to me) echoed and made me question, celebrate and/or appreciate who I am in all of my different faces.
One of my favourite pieces in this book was ‘Send Me Back?’. It spoke volumes in the feelings of unbelonging and belonging in so many places. The very idea of being told to go back to where you come from when you come from everywhere, your experiences, your essence..; everywhere is me. Where do you send me back? This was truly beautiful.
I’m not really a huge note taker when it comes to books or like to scribble away. But the way I took some of these questions and words and scribbled away in my notebook like the words were going to run away 😂 I’ve never received such inclination of wanting to explore more into the themes of this book and diving deeper within myself. Some of the notes I took were so personal and soulful for me.
I need to cut this review short! For all my non-UK folks, if you can get a hold of this book, then I implore you to do so. (I know the author is currently working on creating an e-Book version so hold tight!) Gayatri has quite verbally poured her soul into these pages and it remarkably shows in many ways throughout. I can’t wait to see what’s in store for aunty and this book. Follow the journey on @unbelongingbook
I was kindly gifted this book by my favourite aunty on Instagram, after wanting to get my hands on it for so long! As it’s not available in the UK yet, I finally got to read and it surpassed all of the expectations. It was so much more than just personal, it was informational, politically challenging and explores many cultural and racial topics. The greatest first book of the year to read.
This book was messy, unconventional and so out of the ‘ticked box’, that’s why it spoke to me the way it did. Each word felt like a personal attack to the uncomfortable questions I avoid asking myself. Each spoken word piece (Especially Root Truth which felt like a mantra to me) echoed and made me question, celebrate and/or appreciate who I am in all of my different faces.
One of my favourite pieces in this book was ‘Send Me Back?’. It spoke volumes in the feelings of unbelonging and belonging in so many places. The very idea of being told to go back to where you come from when you come from everywhere, your experiences, your essence..; everywhere is me. Where do you send me back? This was truly beautiful.
I’m not really a huge note taker when it comes to books or like to scribble away. But the way I took some of these questions and words and scribbled away in my notebook like the words were going to run away 😂 I’ve never received such inclination of wanting to explore more into the themes of this book and diving deeper within myself. Some of the notes I took were so personal and soulful for me.
I need to cut this review short! For all my non-UK folks, if you can get a hold of this book, then I implore you to do so. (I know the author is currently working on creating an e-Book version so hold tight!) Gayatri has quite verbally poured her soul into these pages and it remarkably shows in many ways throughout. I can’t wait to see what’s in store for aunty and this book. Follow the journey on @unbelongingbook
December 20, 2021
"My identity has been policed.
All my life somebody has tried to tell me who I'm not."
What does it mean to belong? That's the question explored by Gayatri Sethi in her thought-provoking debut: a non-fiction book that explores how identity is formed by our notion of belonging. The book, part memoir and part verse, tells a deeply personal tale of searching for a home within the diaspora before realising the issues of misogyny and racism attached to 'belonging' in that group. It's divided into three core sections: Desi-ish, African-ish, and American-ish. Each section is filled with soulful lessons and tales from the author's history as she examines what it means to belong within those identities. She draws upon the facets of her identity as a Tanzanian born woman of Punjabi descent now living in America to showcase a beautiful, powerful and very relatable tale. It's comprised of radical honesty as she challenges the price attached to belonging within a set group and leaves you to reflect upon the strength of her words long after you've finished.
'Unbelonging' asks you to call out the problems rooted within your community and to take comfort in not belonging because you can create your own sense of belonging. It's like an anthem of solidarity for all of us who question why within the South Asian diaspora. Why do we accept interracial relationships with white people but condemn those with Black people? Why do we teach daughters to be wives but not sons to be husbands? The author forces you to think about your own beliefs and reflect on your sense of belonging and privilege. It offers lessons in standing up for your beliefs and warm wisdom like that from a favourite aunty and is a resounding affirmation that you can choose a life outside of belonging.
I loved this book because it encouraged me to reflect upon my own internalised prejudice and identity. As a fellow third culture kid, I identified with the struggles to fit it within each of the neat boxes of identity imposed on us by the Western world. I'm proudly British and Gujarati but what about my Kenyan identity? My dad was born in Kenya, my mum's mum too but it's never been something to define me in quite the same way as my Gujarati heritage. And, sometimes, I don't feel like I'm Gujarati enough or British enough which is telling because we place so much value on this sense of belonging. It's definitely something that the author has made me think about especially given that she identifies with being Tanzanian and Punjabi and American. It's a masterful book that educates you, offers you a hug and questions you within a slim 300 pages.
Thank you for the copy of this book, Gayatri, because it's the truth I never knew I needed!
All my life somebody has tried to tell me who I'm not."
What does it mean to belong? That's the question explored by Gayatri Sethi in her thought-provoking debut: a non-fiction book that explores how identity is formed by our notion of belonging. The book, part memoir and part verse, tells a deeply personal tale of searching for a home within the diaspora before realising the issues of misogyny and racism attached to 'belonging' in that group. It's divided into three core sections: Desi-ish, African-ish, and American-ish. Each section is filled with soulful lessons and tales from the author's history as she examines what it means to belong within those identities. She draws upon the facets of her identity as a Tanzanian born woman of Punjabi descent now living in America to showcase a beautiful, powerful and very relatable tale. It's comprised of radical honesty as she challenges the price attached to belonging within a set group and leaves you to reflect upon the strength of her words long after you've finished.
'Unbelonging' asks you to call out the problems rooted within your community and to take comfort in not belonging because you can create your own sense of belonging. It's like an anthem of solidarity for all of us who question why within the South Asian diaspora. Why do we accept interracial relationships with white people but condemn those with Black people? Why do we teach daughters to be wives but not sons to be husbands? The author forces you to think about your own beliefs and reflect on your sense of belonging and privilege. It offers lessons in standing up for your beliefs and warm wisdom like that from a favourite aunty and is a resounding affirmation that you can choose a life outside of belonging.
I loved this book because it encouraged me to reflect upon my own internalised prejudice and identity. As a fellow third culture kid, I identified with the struggles to fit it within each of the neat boxes of identity imposed on us by the Western world. I'm proudly British and Gujarati but what about my Kenyan identity? My dad was born in Kenya, my mum's mum too but it's never been something to define me in quite the same way as my Gujarati heritage. And, sometimes, I don't feel like I'm Gujarati enough or British enough which is telling because we place so much value on this sense of belonging. It's definitely something that the author has made me think about especially given that she identifies with being Tanzanian and Punjabi and American. It's a masterful book that educates you, offers you a hug and questions you within a slim 300 pages.
Thank you for the copy of this book, Gayatri, because it's the truth I never knew I needed!
October 26, 2021
I am currently reading Unbelonging and despite not having finished the book, I am compelled to write a review for it. In an ever-changing world where "Belonging" is a fluid, confusing and complicated concept for so many, a book like this sheds light on the complexities of what it means to 'belong' and 'unbelong' to all the definitions, labels and identities we are born, raised and choose to live with.
What makes us who we are? Who can we be? Can we choose our identity? Can we let go of identities that have been handed over to us without our consent? What is solidarity? What is family? Can we choose to embrace parts of cultures simply because we want to? What makes us 'belong' to something and someone?
This book is to be slowly consumed. I use the word consumed because there are words and ideologies in it that will want to settle into you. They will ask you to think and ponder, and they will make you cry, and laugh (Gulab Jamun...need I say more). The book will challenge you, resonate with you, empower you and more than anything else it will educate you. It will encourage you to have conversations with yourself.
This is a personal journey written in the absolute truth of the person writing it. The brilliance of it is that as she has written her truth, she has also written the truth of so, so, so many people.
Thank you, Gayatri for this gift.
What makes us who we are? Who can we be? Can we choose our identity? Can we let go of identities that have been handed over to us without our consent? What is solidarity? What is family? Can we choose to embrace parts of cultures simply because we want to? What makes us 'belong' to something and someone?
This book is to be slowly consumed. I use the word consumed because there are words and ideologies in it that will want to settle into you. They will ask you to think and ponder, and they will make you cry, and laugh (Gulab Jamun...need I say more). The book will challenge you, resonate with you, empower you and more than anything else it will educate you. It will encourage you to have conversations with yourself.
This is a personal journey written in the absolute truth of the person writing it. The brilliance of it is that as she has written her truth, she has also written the truth of so, so, so many people.
Thank you, Gayatri for this gift.
February 8, 2022
‘…. I was not raised for silence.’
“Unbelonging” by Gayatri Sethi is an intimate and real conversation which the author has with her readers.
Here are lessons in unlearning, learning, growing.
Questions which will put the ‘reader’, in a much needed, discomfort zone.
Lessons that teach one to introspect and ask themselves ‘how are my perspectives shaped?’
This a read that needs to be savored slowly. Embraced. Understood.
It’s a hard look at the different ‘isms we encounter.
A close study of history; of current political and social climates.
A scrutiny of identity.
Written in a poetic spoken word style, Gayatri Sethi pushes us to:
Decolonize our minds
Reflect on the narratives that have shaped us
Discuss your traumas and insecurities
Talk about accountability
The author encourages us to journey together on this relearning; she provides space and encouragement to jot down personal reflections (loved and loved this!)
Answer questions which have been seamlessly interwoven in between her personal anecdotes and observations. Though her stories, they will feel like your own.
She provides research prompts which the reader can explore on their own. (Totally appreciated these.)
I found myself highlighting personal favorites and coming back to them again and again.
Sections that made me think. Profound and deep.
‘Unbelonging’ is a read that will make you think deeply about humanity and, in its presentation, will become a cherished personal journal.
UnbelongingGayatri Sethi
“Unbelonging” by Gayatri Sethi is an intimate and real conversation which the author has with her readers.
Here are lessons in unlearning, learning, growing.
Questions which will put the ‘reader’, in a much needed, discomfort zone.
Lessons that teach one to introspect and ask themselves ‘how are my perspectives shaped?’
This a read that needs to be savored slowly. Embraced. Understood.
It’s a hard look at the different ‘isms we encounter.
A close study of history; of current political and social climates.
A scrutiny of identity.
Written in a poetic spoken word style, Gayatri Sethi pushes us to:
Decolonize our minds
Reflect on the narratives that have shaped us
Discuss your traumas and insecurities
Talk about accountability
The author encourages us to journey together on this relearning; she provides space and encouragement to jot down personal reflections (loved and loved this!)
Answer questions which have been seamlessly interwoven in between her personal anecdotes and observations. Though her stories, they will feel like your own.
She provides research prompts which the reader can explore on their own. (Totally appreciated these.)
I found myself highlighting personal favorites and coming back to them again and again.
Sections that made me think. Profound and deep.
‘Unbelonging’ is a read that will make you think deeply about humanity and, in its presentation, will become a cherished personal journal.
UnbelongingGayatri Sethi
January 24, 2022
While author Gayatri Sethi could have written a treatise on the intersections of identity, culture, race, and gender in the context of colonialism and American racism, she chooses instead to explore these themes from a deeply personal lens, in the form of poems, stories, meditations, and questions based on her experience as a person of Indian descent raised in Africa and currently living in the United States. These modes of exploration bring heart and spirit to the topics, engaging the reader in a compelling and effective way. The book is not for reading quickly. More than a book of poetry to be passively consumed, the author invites us to make the book our own, engaging actively with the material by writing our own reflections in the margins or blank spaces, creating the space to self-reflect on how these themes show up in our own lives, exploring the concepts further through our own research and through reading other works cited throughout, and sharing our learnings with others. For a reader who took on the challenge, this book could be a study guide for an entire self-paced, college-level course. Or it could be a friend who assured you that you're not alone in your feelings of estrangement in a divided and violent world diseased with colonialism and white supremacy, and helped you map out pathways of connection and community. Ultimately, this book challenges us all to acknowledge our common humanity while embracing diversity of culture and human experience.
March 4, 2022
“Unbelonging” by author, speaker, educator, scholar Dr. Gayatri Sethi is like no book I have ever experienced, yet a book I’ve been desperate to experience. Like Gayatri, “Unbelonging,” resists easy defining. It’s genre-defying.
It welcomes us to wrestle with identity, culture, language, the complicated concept of belonging. It encourages us to engage and play around with its text. Gayatri writes about her life in only the way she can, and invites other invisiblized writers to do likewise. As someone who herself has never belonged, this book felt like “dawa.” With its power, it disrupts, it empowers. It messes you up in magical ways.
It has been an exquisite gift just as I’ve realized the writing-relationship with Gayatri has been. In more ways than one, Gayatri has been to me what bell hooks was to her, an advocate, a mentor. A rememberer of faces and names. A holder of space. And I am grateful for her support and for her labor and for her words, especially these:
“For me, the feeling of being home in an actual place called home is elusive. I have learned over time to release the desire to have a home to belong to because to some extent, even that desire is steeped in colonialism. Through reflections in this book, I offer readers some inquiries to consider: What if home was nowhere, everywhere, ephemeral, and within? What if we build this “home”? What if we did not even wish to belong?”~ Gayatri Sethi
It welcomes us to wrestle with identity, culture, language, the complicated concept of belonging. It encourages us to engage and play around with its text. Gayatri writes about her life in only the way she can, and invites other invisiblized writers to do likewise. As someone who herself has never belonged, this book felt like “dawa.” With its power, it disrupts, it empowers. It messes you up in magical ways.
It has been an exquisite gift just as I’ve realized the writing-relationship with Gayatri has been. In more ways than one, Gayatri has been to me what bell hooks was to her, an advocate, a mentor. A rememberer of faces and names. A holder of space. And I am grateful for her support and for her labor and for her words, especially these:
“For me, the feeling of being home in an actual place called home is elusive. I have learned over time to release the desire to have a home to belong to because to some extent, even that desire is steeped in colonialism. Through reflections in this book, I offer readers some inquiries to consider: What if home was nowhere, everywhere, ephemeral, and within? What if we build this “home”? What if we did not even wish to belong?”~ Gayatri Sethi
January 24, 2022
Gayatri Sethi's genre-bending debut is a vulnerable meditation on diaspora and creating solidarity within the margins of the margins. In one of my favorite passages, Sethi offers the aspiration, "may our existence be a balm." This book is indeed a balm to those who have been othered in places and spaces that have claimed to love us. "Unbelonging" also demands accountability of those who use our own marginalized status to shield us from the part we play in upholding Imperialist White Supremacist Heteropatriarchy - yes, bell hooks and other radical voices are frequently cited within these pages. Sethi not only provides journal prompts, but also spaces for the reader to contribute their own questions, definitions, and thoughts directly onto the page. If you do decide to accept this invitation (and I recommend that you do!) your copy will become entirely unique to you. The deeply moving verses contained within "Unbelonging" are to be savored and I look forward to returning to my copy many times over.
October 21, 2021
As has been described, this is not an easily-categorized work. Rather, it transcends simple, restrictive definitions and rises to new levels of possibility with poetry, memoir, wisdom, and aspiration.
Those that know me well, know well the role that my names, my identity, my sense (or lack) of Be-Longing have played in my own life and relationships. What a joy then, both pleasurable and challenging to know how well I am seen, reflected, and changed by these pages from the incomparable Dr. Gayatri Sethi
This is a unique gift from a unparalleled voice who is willing to share, to courageously question, to inspire, to provoke, to name, and to un-name our perceived limitations.
Those that know me well, know well the role that my names, my identity, my sense (or lack) of Be-Longing have played in my own life and relationships. What a joy then, both pleasurable and challenging to know how well I am seen, reflected, and changed by these pages from the incomparable Dr. Gayatri Sethi
This is a unique gift from a unparalleled voice who is willing to share, to courageously question, to inspire, to provoke, to name, and to un-name our perceived limitations.
January 11, 2022
This is one of the books I started my year with and I loved this collection. Fragmented poetry is one of my fave styles and she gives us a blend of poetry, memoir and the call to exist within our communities and beyond connected by our humanity. The collection is in 3 parts, each a nod to Sethi’s intersecting identities: Desi-ish, African-ish, and American-ish. This is a beautifully written work of solidarity between black and brown communities, a push for radical justice and a love note to our likeness beyond ideologies. I loved the section titles because the “ish” emphasizes the unbelonging and acknowledges the many in the world who feel they dont belong anywhere, people with hearts in various cultural communities often know this unfortunate void well.
Superb.
Superb.
February 8, 2022
Oh boy, this book shook me to my very core and in the best way. I haven't read a book like this before. Told in the most lyrical and powerful of prose, UNBELONGING made me revel in my South Asian culture and question my identity in it. It moved me, it made me think, it made me pensive of the world we live in and how we fit within its constructs. This is a book to be savored and yet devoured. This is a book to spend time with. To curl up and read a few pages and ponder over its layers and layers of meanings. This is a book where each reader absorbs and infers their own meanings and pondering, individual to their experience. I have laughed and teared up while reading this book. This book hits upon hard truths but in a way that is gentle yet powerful. It seeks not to teach, but to think. Oh, I cannot rave about this book enough! Highly recommend it as an essential read for everyone.
June 23, 2022
After savoring on few pages a day, I finally finished this book. And what an empowering read! Told in lyrical and powerful prose and drawn from Dr. Sethi’s own life experiences, UNBELONGING is an honest and intimate conversation between the author and the reader. It is a deeply personal tale that reflects upon the themes of identity, immigration, and the complicated concept of ‘belonging.’ The book not only educates and empowers, but encourages self-reflection and calls upon the reader to pursue justice, compassion, and solidarity. Thanks Gayatri for sharing your experiences and writing this unconventional and timeless book that many from the diaspora will resonate with.
October 24, 2022
"the more i water the roots of my heritage, the more i grow into myself."
In UNBELONGING, Gayatri Sethi explores the unique angles of her heritage and invites readers to reflect upon their own assumptions about identity and belonging. A teacher, influencer, and lifelong learner, Sethi is unafraid of asking difficult questions-- even when there is not always an obvious answer-- and does so with courage and grace. Sethi calls upon us to unlearn white saviorism, decolonize our thoughts, and be fierce advocates in challenging anti-Blackness. Evocative, candid, and humbling, UNBELONGING will open your eyes and your heart to a new way of looking at the world and your own identity.
In UNBELONGING, Gayatri Sethi explores the unique angles of her heritage and invites readers to reflect upon their own assumptions about identity and belonging. A teacher, influencer, and lifelong learner, Sethi is unafraid of asking difficult questions-- even when there is not always an obvious answer-- and does so with courage and grace. Sethi calls upon us to unlearn white saviorism, decolonize our thoughts, and be fierce advocates in challenging anti-Blackness. Evocative, candid, and humbling, UNBELONGING will open your eyes and your heart to a new way of looking at the world and your own identity.
October 13, 2021
Be prepared for a transformative experience. I’ve read several passages over and over again. Then, out loud to myself - my family. In it you’ll find connection, community, and discomfort. It’s not all pretty - be prepared to acknowledge truths about yourself that you wish you didn’t have to face. But you will and you will learn and grow and HEAL.
I found so many affirmations in this book. For all of us who are fighting, and trying to heal and find joy at the same time. For each of us who don’t always know where we fit in (or never seem to fit in) This is for us.
I found so many affirmations in this book. For all of us who are fighting, and trying to heal and find joy at the same time. For each of us who don’t always know where we fit in (or never seem to fit in) This is for us.
March 9, 2022
UNBELONGING by Gayatri Sethi is in part a memoir, part poetry, and partially a tool for growth. The author illustrates and challenges humanity to see ourselves as we are through sharing her own life experience. In a spoken word style filled with prolific linguistics Sethi addresses the partition, race, gender, and caste. She does this unabashedly, yet intertwined with compassion and love. UNBELONGING is a powerful and truthful must read.
November 23, 2021
I have been enjoying slowly reading Unbelonging, rather than my usual devouring of books in a single session. It's gorgeously written and I loved the radical idea of unbelonging. As a fellow Third Culture Kid, I immediately connected with the three overarching identities Gayatri talks about (African-ish, Desi-ish, American-ish), and ultimately coming to terms with a new identity rather than ones placed on her. I wish I was where Gayatri is, but I'm still at the "let me tell you my life story" when someone innocuously asks me where I'm from lol. Definitely recommended.
November 20, 2021
As I continue to read through the wonderful pages of Unbelonging by Gayatri Sethi I feel I have to share a reflection of this amazing work already.
Unbelonging by Gayatri Sethi is a beautiful expression of words, meaning, insight and personal-story. Gayatri Sethi magically intertwines her story within the pages, while raising important questions, encouraging deep reflections and speaking on important truths and realities. Gayatri inspires through each moment, and this book will belong to you forever, a continuous reference for diving back into the pages of a world where you feel belonging and heard. As someone who also feels this experience of unbelonging, Gayatri allows an inclusion within her writing space regardless of differing realities of unbelonging. Gayatri Sethi I thank you for sharing your words with us and grateful to be able to read your writing and will be forever inspired by you.
Unbelonging by Gayatri Sethi is a beautiful expression of words, meaning, insight and personal-story. Gayatri Sethi magically intertwines her story within the pages, while raising important questions, encouraging deep reflections and speaking on important truths and realities. Gayatri inspires through each moment, and this book will belong to you forever, a continuous reference for diving back into the pages of a world where you feel belonging and heard. As someone who also feels this experience of unbelonging, Gayatri allows an inclusion within her writing space regardless of differing realities of unbelonging. Gayatri Sethi I thank you for sharing your words with us and grateful to be able to read your writing and will be forever inspired by you.
November 15, 2021
Some books cannot be rushed. The weight of the words need to be slowly consumes. This is not fiction, it is not up for debate, or in need of outside validation, let alone that of a privileged white (or white adjacent) beneficiary of the "system." The book is powerful, the author articulate, the text cathartic, the concepts revolutionary. Breaking down all the -isms with her -ish identities pushes the readers to confront themselves. I saw myself a lot in these pages as a half desi individual myself, but the passages I enjoyed the most, were those that made me uncomfortable, those that made me want to push back, the pyar that whispered to me to change my perspective and question why I disagreed and wanted to defend. The book made me cry as shared experiences both resonated so deeply, and some infuriated me to my core. Read the book, read it slowly, challenge yourself, fight to not be the same person you were when you started the book. And if you are planning to post pictures of the book, take them before you lovingly carry the book around for days and tears, and oily fingers smudge the pages, and crease the binding. Read it again after you finish, we all have so much to learn from one another, and even though I have never met the author, I have a such a strong desire to sit next to her and see the world from a broader, more human lens.
January 16, 2022
The title called to me right away, since "unbelonging" is something many of us feel, especially if we are immigrants or marginalized.
This is a book of poetry, meditations, mantras, and more that will get you thinking about class, race, privilege, and identity. There's a lot to learn from here, and the various forms allow us to relate in our own ways. It's not an easy book, to be sure; there's a lot to confront about ourselves and the truths we think we know. Especially as a Desi, I appreciate so much how the author calls out our own so that we will not be complacent, but move forward with more grace and understanding. Thanks for this beautiful work!
This is a book of poetry, meditations, mantras, and more that will get you thinking about class, race, privilege, and identity. There's a lot to learn from here, and the various forms allow us to relate in our own ways. It's not an easy book, to be sure; there's a lot to confront about ourselves and the truths we think we know. Especially as a Desi, I appreciate so much how the author calls out our own so that we will not be complacent, but move forward with more grace and understanding. Thanks for this beautiful work!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 43 reviews