Be Gay, Do Crimes

by Imogen Markwell-Tweed

Kind and caring Claire hasn’t always had it easy, but she can always depend on her best friend, Mia. Mia doesn’t mind all of Claire’s quirks, even as Claire works to find herself again after the divorce. Spunky, personable, and opinionated, Mia loves her best friend enough to do anything for her.

So when Claire’s drunk, abusive ex-husband dies at Mia’s apartment, Mia packs their bags and puts them on the run. Terrified but determined to support one another, Claire and Mia bumble their way cross-country and through an accidental crime spree. Even as the police close in, Mia’s long simmering feelings for Claire keep bubbling up, disrupting Mia’s efforts to keep her safe.

Packed full of laughs, loves, and petty crimes, Imogen Markwell-Tweed’s Be Gay, Do Crimes, is a charming and thrilling story of best friends falling in love.

Genres: Audiobook, Queer, Romance, LGBT, Fiction

125 pages

Published April 29, 2021

About the author

Imogen Markwell-Tweed is a queer romance writer and editor based in St. Louis. When she's not writing or hanging out with her dog, IMT can be found putting her media degrees to use by binge-watching trashy television. All of her stories promise queer protagonists, healthy relationships, and happily ever afters. @unrealimogen on Twitter and Instagram.view less

Reviews

[Howard · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 Stars for Be Gay, Do Crimes (audiobook) by Imogen Markwell-Tweed read by Christine Land. Produced by Bryant Street Shorts.
I really enjoyed this Thelma & Louise like story. It’s a little more light hearted and fun.

[Meg · Rating 2 out of 5]

well that was weird

(edit: moved this down a star cuz meeehhhh it was weird and fan-ficy but not in a good way.)

[Rhys · Rating 1 out of 5]

dnf @30%

rating it 1 star because there is so much inconsistency within the story.

the abusive ex husband finds one of the MCs (who has a restraining order against him), tries to threaten her, ends up falling into a dumpster bc he’s drunk, and he’s dead. during the scuffle before, one MC cuts her feet on a shattered picture, so there’s blood. i don’t think they actually cleaned that up, so there’s literal blood DNA evidence at the scene. police will be able to tell where he fell off based on the state of the apartment, and i just couldn’t take the story after that. i got to 30% to see if either of them were willing to go back and confront the police to say he died from being drunk, yet to no avail. i get that your scared about the police, but come on, you make it so easy for anyone with common sense to catch you and try to charge you. and on top of this, the one girl who has the restraining order against her ex husband also vomits at the garbage bin, and once again, not cleaned up 😐

oh, and did i mention they steal gas? they don’t fucking turn back yet they realized right when they pulled out that they didn’t pay. no no, instead they keep driving.

i’m not willing to put myself through another like 70 pages of this, no thanks

[Victoria M · Rating 2 out of 5]

Honestly, I should have read the reviews for this one, I had to drag myself to the end and it's a shorter story than I usually read. The girls were just...a little more immature than I would expect for their ages. Their crimes weren't really that exciting either. Like, accidentally not paying for gas, easily could have just turned around, they weren't that far. Their relationship is great, cute even, probably the only thing I liked.

[Jess · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thelma and Louise with a dead ex husband and on the run. Glee and Twilight references. Protags seem to be late 20s. Best friends since at least high school. Romance felt a bit rushed. Not a lot of lead up for friends to lovers. Still fun.

[Tae · Rating 1 out of 5]

The entire basis of this book was quite … dumb?

You have a restraining order against your abusive ex husband… he shows up where you’re at (violating his parole/restraining order… illegal) and further abuses you (illegal) … he literally falls to his death of his own accord and instead of calling the police you flee the scene …

In what actual world would she have gotten in any trouble???

The friendship itself was cute and it was pretty short. Thank goodness

[Jen Farias · Rating 3 out of 5]

A sweet Thelma and Louise type story about best friends getting away with it. I don't know how or why, but I kept confusing Claire and Mia. I felt like they trauma bonded, which was sweet, but I also felt that Mia took advantage of their relationship by not being honest with Claire. If she hadn't been harboring a secret crush, maybe it wouldn't have felt so icky at the end. I was really disappointed in how rushed the end felt, and wanted more of their relationship to be present in the storytelling. Instead it was just a weird secret crush that came across as creepy sometimes. Like when Mia would caress Claire while she slept. There was romantic love intentions, which is fine, but it's not fair to Claire. I really wanted to like this book more, especially since I really enjoyed women x crime x passion media, like Monster, Fried Green Tomatoes, The Color Purple and Thelma and Louise.

[Steve Stivaktis · Rating 1 out of 5]

I listened to this as it showed up in my Everand feed. I figured, why not?
The answer is, because the entire thing makes zero sense. I found myself questioning WHY on earth these two women decided to do any of the ridiculous things they did, and HOW on earth they did not get caught. Accidental crimes that barely counted as crimes or were extremely avoidable, an entire world that seemed catered to their happy ending, "Mia/Claire laughed/smiled" on repeat, resolutions that made no sense and solutions that came out of nowhere.
I'd have given it two stars because of the chemistry between the characters and the pure satisfaction of a serial abuser ending up dead in a dumpster, but the rushed ending and the characters' absolute terrible (and borderline sponsored) tastes in everything brought it back down. Cool idea, but in the end, just a catchy title.

[Cara · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was kind of a silly series of misadventures kicked off by one really big-deal bad thing happening. And along the way, they find love (or more accurately, discover the love that was there all along). On one hand, it’s too bad people weren’t brave enough to say how they felt years ago, but whatever. I desperately needed something to keep me from going out of my mind with boredom on a drive, and this was still available on Everand, unlike almost everything else on there. It gave me what I needed and my star rating is based on that.

[Ana Ramirez · Rating 2 out of 5]

I almost dnfed it but continue because it was a short one. I didn’t enjoy it. I was forcing myself to listen to it. It was so unrealistic, while the audiobook itself was fun, the story not so much. I wanted more of the romance and how they got to where it ended, no more of the crimes... it didn’t make sense to me.

[Gabrielle · Rating 2 out of 5]

There is more on-the-run, and crimes than anything with the relationship. Also it's kind of dumb because they are so sloppy and I get that the crimes are spontaneous but still. I would have dnf'd if it wasn't so short. I listened to this in an hour

[Yahli Rot · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very cute and relatable.
After reading so many books that focus on abuse and mental health, I liked that it was part of the story but not all of it. I didn't cry or got anxious, but didn't feel too sweet and easy. I'd call it a comfort-story.

[Alyssa · Rating 2 out of 5]

Thelma & Louise meets Romy & Michelle.
Narration was a little monotone which was annoying, but otherwise a really easy read if you want a fun story about an accidental crime spree ending with the realization that you’re in love with your best friend.

[Karen · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's a little silly book . ExHusband on parole pushed: his way into their place. He accidentally fell. They forget to pay at a gas strong and restaurant. You keep waiting for the police to get involved. I expe⁰

[Faith Huff · Rating 3 out of 5]

Remarkably boring for a book that starts with a dead body. The audiobook narrator was not great, either. She sounded like she was reading a story to children, but not in a cute way, more like a condescending way. It was cute, but dull.

[Willow Lezcano · Rating 2 out of 5]

it was slow and predictable. kind of like a fanfic but not.

[Courteney · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was a fun short story but it was unrealistic and very Tell not Show,
I wouldn’t read it again but I enjoyed it

[Kay Claire · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5

Might have enjoyed this more if it weren't for the narrator.

[Roxana Sabau · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF, and it's only a bit over 100 pages. Reminder to myself to stop reading books based on the fact that they have a catchy title.

[Charlie · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF at 17% the pacing is too fast and the writing is choppy.

[Pallette Purple · Rating 2 out of 5]

Fue muy desesperante pero al menos tuvo un buen final.

[Ingrid · Rating 5 out of 5]

Cute, queer, short and happy.

[Charlie - disableddaydreamer | itsbarbieparis (looking for mutuals) · Rating 1 out of 5]

It was ok, if you take out the entire crime spree that didn’t really need to happen, but that was the point of the book.
I just don’t have much to say about this one.

[Amber Wilhelm · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was funny. They were in fact gay and they did do crimes, just as the title suggested. It seemed like every time they turned around, Claire and Mia were getting themselves in some trouble.

[Katie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I didn't expect much from the story and was pleasantly surprised! If only the book was longer and the story more detailed. For such a topic it felt a bit rushed and incomplete.

[Kimberly Swartz · Rating 3 out of 5]

IDK how i feel about them as a whole but it was interesting i guess. short and a bit fun.

[Euly Cordero · Rating 1 out of 5]

It was so uneventful

[Alexis · Rating 2 out of 5]

Where was the crime??

[Cara Patel · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found this a fine reading experience.

This was fun and quick, but not something I see myself returning to. I found the two lead characters really hard to tell apart, and I had to keep reminding myself who's chapter we were in. I thought from the synopsis that the high jinks that were going to happen while on the road trip were going to be a little more extreme, so when they finaly did get there it just felt like it came out of nowhere, and I was just left wondering why they went along with the situation.

[Christy · Rating 2 out of 5]

I threw the audiobook of this on when I was decorating my flat and listened to it all in one go without pausing once.

I wasn't expecting this to be incredible in any way shape or form but I just wanted it to be gay (as the title suggests). It was a little gay as obviously it the two girls on the roadtrip end up together but this was so much more about a couple of friends who were openly committing crimes by being too stupid.

The plot wasn't great and I didn't love the characters and I would have given this one star but it wasn't one of the worst things I have ever read and the audio was so so short that I didn't waste too much time.