I Have Always Been Me: A Memoir

by Precious Brady-Davis

A powerful memoir of independence, releasing the past, and living the dream by award-winning trans advocate Precious Brady-Davis.

Precious Brady-Davis remembers the sense of being singular and grappling with “otherness.” Born into traumatic circumstances, Davis was brought up in the Omaha foster care system and the Pentecostal faith. As a biracial, gender-nonconforming kid, she felt displaced. Yet she realized by coming into her identity that she had a purpose all along.

In I Have Always Been Me, Brady-Davis reflects on a childhood of neglect, instability, and abandonment. She reveals her determination to dream through it and shares her profound journey as a trans woman now fully actualized, absolutely confident, and precious. She speaks to anyone who has ever tried to find their place in this world and imparts the wisdom that comes with surmounting odds and celebrating on the other side.

A memoir, a love story, and an outreach for the marginalized, Precious’s sojourn is a song of self-reliance and pride and an invitation to join in the chorus.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, LGBT, Biography, Queer, Transgender, Ebooks

250 pages, Kindle Edition

First published July 1, 2021

About the author

Precious Brady-Davis (born 1985) is an American transgender author and climate and LGBT rights activist. She wrote the best-selling book I Have Always Been Me.

Reviews

[Barbara · Rating 3 out of 5]

I picked this book as one of my Amazon Prime First Reads for June. A big thank you to Amazon for giving us two free reads this month.

I found this book quite confusing at times. The first half - most of the author's childhood - was way too focused on their religious influences during childhood (dull dull dull - sorry!) and their complicated family influences (in and out of care and passed around the various relatives after their mother was absolutely incapable of looking after herself, let alone her children).

Once they moved to college and started their drag career, I found it much more interesting. I've previously read the autobiographies of two other current or ex drag artists and I want to seriously thank Precious for being a lot more discreet about her love life than Amrou al-Khadi and Crystal Rassmussen, both of whom went into way more anatomical detail than I really wanted to know and left me feeling a bit queasy at times.

Then everything seems to accelerate and I was left thinking "How did that happen?" Did I turn over two pages (metaphorically - it's a kindle) and miss the WHY of Precious's decision to transition? It all just leapt ahead and my head was spinning. It's a big step from loving to dress in women's clothes, making a career and an income from drag, and actually becoming a woman. I felt that the rationale behind such a major decision had been skipped over.

I also felt that her romance with her husband - a trans man - and the subsequent birth of their child (hubby carried the baby) was very inspiring but also very rushed on the page. I don't want to be nosy or prurient, but I did find myself thinking 'Wow' and wondering how they took on such an amazing challenge. I didn't want the anatomical details of quite how they achieved that, but I was left with a ton of questions in my mind.

Precious is gorgeous and has done amazing work as a trans activist. I'm sure she's an inspiration to many people who find themselves in similar situations, but I do wish more of the book had been set in her life post-transition and less in her childhood.

[Amanda · Rating 5 out of 5]

First off, this book should come with a soundtrack. I had so much fun pulling up and listening to all the songs Precious mentions. Secondly, it should also come with a clothing album. She does a great job describing all her beautiful costumes in a way that I feel I could picture all the beautiful colors.
Now for the serious part... Wow! She describes her journey in a poignant and classy way. She is a very talented writer. Memoirs are often all over the place and hard to follow, but this one sucked me in and commanded my attention the whole way. Thank you so much for the education of what it was like growing up LGBTQ in America. This book has something for everyone- education, empowerment, romance, and conviction. Thank you so much, Amazon, for offering this as a First Read!!!

[Maria Fledgling Author Park · Rating 5 out of 5]

Triumphal Journey through Transition

Precious Brady-Davis writes with wisdom beyond her years. What an honest, insightful, emotional revealing memoir! I was honored to experience her journey.

Tackling the taboos of being genderqueer in the Black community, Precious adroitly draws us into the life of a child growing up as a minority in an ultra Christian environment.

I especially appreciated the honesty of Precious' conflicting feelings about her faith and her gender identity and her eventual resolution of the two.

For any young person struggling with a gender identity issue, this book will be an inspiration. A guiding light for those feeling trapped by circumstances as to just how far the belief in oneself can be liberating.

As well, anyone who desires to be an ally to children, teens, person's of color and those facing gender identity issues, this book is a powerful way to walk a mile in their shoes. Absolutely a must read!

[Jessica Haider · Rating 4 out of 5]

Growing up as a biracial kid in the Omaha foster care system, Precious Brady-Davis never really felt like they fit in. In addition to the strict religious morals of the Pentecostal faith they were raised with, Precious often felt out of place and lost. But, she came into her own, realizing she was gender non-conforming. Precious found her path through a love of music and discovering a passion for performing and helping others.

Through her memoir, Precious shares her struggle of growing up in unstable circumstances yet finding a way to carry on and achieve her dreams.

I won a copy of this book in a Goodreads giveaway.

[Aaron Crowley · Rating 3 out of 5]

I got this book as one of Amazon's first reads, and I was excited for this to be my Pride month read. Unfortunately, I was unable to finish the book. At halfway through, I have to call it quits.

The biggest reason is because I have no idea what the point of this story is. It sounds like I'm just reading Precious' life story, in chronological order, with no real message that I should be getting out of it. Each chapter, there are names dropped and details mentioned and the most frequent thought I had was, "Why is she telling me this? What am I supposed to get out of that event? Is there something I'm supposed to learn? Is the message going over my head?" After reaching the halfway mark, I realized, the author isn't trying to teach me anything. She is just telling us her biography.

A memoir is supposed to have an author recounting detailed memories filled with imagery that all come together in some way to teach the reader a specific message. A biography is a story about someone's life. This book is a biography. I wasn't being taught anything, except perhaps the lived experience of a specific biracial, trans woman. But what is it about Precious that should make me want to read about her life? What sets her apart? What makes her different? And most of all, what is the takeaway that I should get from her story? I wasn't getting anything.

My biggest gripe is that the writing tells me a lot, but it doesn't show me anything. Every story is told like a biography. To paraphrase the writing style, "I was born here. I had this many siblings. I did this. And then I did this. And my friend told me this, so I did this." There were barely any moments that painted a picture and sparked my imagination about what was going on. It was all too this happened, then this happened. Show me a story; don't tell it to me.

And that ties right into me not being sure what to take away. By showing a story, I can get the tone, themes, and motifs the author is trying to convey to me. I can feel what the memoirist feels, experience what she experiences. Instead, it was like I was simply listening to her tell me about her life. And at this point, I have to say, "Gurl, it's been a nice chat, but I've got to go!"

[Lucy-Bookworm · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wasn’t really familiar with Precious Brady-Davis prior to reading this book.
The book was honest, and I particularly appreciated the way that her faith was discussed – it’s so easy for people to say things like “just don’t go to church then” but it’s not that easy if you have a strong faith! The book had moments of humour but was also a bit confusing at times – the first part focussed on the childhood & it was hard at times to work out who was who (parents, grandparents, foster carers, siblings, etc), but I guess this reflected the chaotic childhood! Things were much easier to follow once we got onto the college/ drag queen experience. I was disappointed that the ending was so rushed and would have liked to hear more about the decision to transition… This seemed a particularly huge jump from the previous chapters!
Overall, I am pleased that I read the book & it definitely makes you think about identity and belonging. I am sure this is a book that will help people to understand a little more what it might be like to grow up knowing that you are different but not quite having the words to explain why. It might help young trans people who are trying to understand how they fit in the world, or perhaps their families who are trying to adjust to a new reality.

Note: I received this book as one of my Amazon Prime First Reads for June.

[Rebekah May · Rating 4 out of 5]

Here I am, yet again, struggling with how to review a memoir.

I really appreciate how open and honest Precious Brady-Davis is with her story, and I loved hearing about how drag helped her live as her authentic self. I didn't know Precious before reading this memoir, or even know of her, and I do think that affected my reading experience in that the little catchphrases she put in that are obviously very 'her', took me out sometimes because she'd say them in the middle of something serious (probably to lighten the tension, which I imagine she needed to do for herself because a lot of this memoir is heavy) and it always startled me a little.

I'd say, though, that that doesn't take away from how well written and interesting this memoir is. Precious kept some events to herself, only alluding to them in the book, and I think it made me feel even more strongly towards her. She's a passionate and likeable person and the work she has done is really admirable. Seeing the dark side of the drag scene was really interesting as well. I think, in the age of Drag Race, a lot of people forget that these Queens get massively taken advantage of in the bars and clubs they work in in a lot of cities.

I'm really glad I chose this as my Kindle First pick this month, and also that I read it straight away! I do recommend this one.

[Sophie]

An interesting insight into Precious' life and the struggles she went through both as a closeted child in an extremely religious atmosphere and her life post-transition.
I would say the pacing is a little strange. The first half of the book spent so much time going into detail with Precious' family connections, her high school years, living in a foster home, all very interesting and important to her story but the second half, as a drag performer and transitioning felt so condensed, a little rushed, which is a shame because it was so interesting to read about. Overall I'd say this is worth a read but I just wish the pacing had been more consistent throughout.

[Mackenzie Marrow · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nebraska Library Commission Book Club Spotlight - February 28th, 2023
During Black History Month, we’re showcasing books by some incredible authors to celebrate Black voices in literature. And this week’s highlighted book, I Have Always Been Me by Precious Brady-Davis, is a bold coming-of-age and coming-of-self story set in a familiar locale. Born and raised in Omaha, Brady-Davis serves as the director of communications at the Sierra Club, a Diversity and Inclusion Consultant, and an LGBT+ and HIV activist. She was the first publicly out transgender woman on TLC’s Say Yes to the Dress and was featured on another TLC show, “My Pregnant Husband: documenting her and her husband’s journey to having a child together as a trans couple.


Precious was often the odd one out in her family and her Omaha community. Assigned as male at birth and growing up being perceived as one, she knew that her innate femininity was leading to bullying and unwanted attention. Being moved around between family members, foster care, and schools, it wasn’t until she started attending UNL that Precious began performing drag and was able to embrace the more authentic side of herself. During her education, Precious found her talent and love for diversity and inclusion advocacy through local programs and support from her peers and teachers. However, she had to reckon with her empathy and love for all people with what she was taught at home and in church. Precious recounts her intimate relationship with religion that shaped her youth and how it led to her continued ostracization by people she felt the closest to due to her gender nonconformity. And her reckoning between these two worlds that seemed so disparate is found to be fundamentally a part of her person. Eventually moving to Chicago to finish school at Columbia College, Precious continued to find and foster her queer identity, finally coming to herself as a trans woman and devoting her life to advocacy work, eventually falling in love and fully cementing her foundation for an incredible future ahead.

“For all of us who have been marginalized, who have been abandoned by those who are meant to love us, who have been damned by those who are meant to bless us, who have been looked at with disgust and told that we are wrong, that we are sinful, that we are abominations, now is the time to go forth and be fierce with clear intent while standing tall, showing that marginalized folks aren’t going anywhere as we activate our power.”
- PRECIOUS BRADY-DAVIS

I Have Always Been Me is a well-known tale of how a person can desperately search for a community as a child but be turned away at every corner. And it isn’t until they are introduced to the world of unconditional acceptance that they finally have the tools to escape survival mode to grow and flourish. While the subject may be new, the story will feel familiar to members of an adult or mature young-adult book group and can open the floor to discussion on the different ways people can be made to feel like outsiders and how vital community support is for disenfranchised young people. Stories like Brady-Davis’s are pivotal in normalizing and loving trans people, especially Black Trans women in Nebraska. Reading the interpersonal stories of affected people, like with any other minority group, lends a bigger picture to the conversation in ways only literature can and showcases the incredible resilience needed to simply be yourself.

[Keren · Rating 3 out of 5]

This woman's life from beginning to the present really encapsulates a vast range of experiences. From the traumas of a broken, abusive family, the racial microaggressions, and the transgender journey within a family, country, and culture so far from true acceptance, Precious has truly overcome. She's had some incredible experiences and has worked to help others in a range of similar situations, both by working with them personally and by working to change the culture of schools and businesses.

Where this lost stars for me:
1. The Audible is read by the author, which I generally prefer for memoir, and in some places it was nice to hear her voice. However, Precious has a way of making even everyday normalcy sound tragic or traumatic or like an attack. I found this really annoying because it took me out of the story and made it harder to relate. She also pauses between words more frequently than is needed, which disrupts the flow.

2. While so many of the anecdotes are rendered in a way that draws in the reader and makes the story relatable, many details included throughout really didn't add much to the narrative, especially repeated details. This felt way longer than 250 pages.

[Louise · Rating 3 out of 5]

Precious is a powerful force for good and by sharing her story, trauma and all, helps to enlighten us who choose to read it. I am so glad there are people like her and her husband Miles who are willing to share themselves and to advocate to and for so many oppressed, marginalised sections of society.

I wasn’t blown away by the book, but, much like Precious herself, it is so much more than the sum of all its parts. I would totally recommend reading or listening to this book for anyone who wishes to gain an insight into the LGBTQIA+ community, into the harm that can be inflicted on children by an uncaring child protection framework, on the marginalisation of people of colour and biracial people, and of how religion can be both a safe space and a toxic space.

[Katrina · Rating 3 out of 5]

Enlightening read

3.5 stars

I don’t usually read memoirs (not enough dragons and magic in them for me) but i saw this on first reads and I have been trying to read new genres. I usually comment on the plot and characters which i don’t feel I can do here since the characters are real people and the plot is someone’s life story, but I will try to leave an honest review.

Her story was enlightening in many ways and really made me think about identity and belonging. The author discusses gender identity and sexuality and how that conflicted with her religious beliefs. She also discusses race, poverty, family and community at various points throughout the book and it made me reflect on how all these things contribute to your identity.

The story was well written and was easy to read, it was also very funny at times and made me laugh out loud. I also liked the inclusion of the photographs, though in my ebook they were all together at the end of chapter 7. I understand that in a physical book you can easily see photo pages and flick to them as you are reading but this isn’t obvious or easy with an ebook so it would have been nice to have a couple of photos at the end of each chapter. There were a few small things that brought the rating down for me: there were a lot of people mentioned in the book, understandable since it’s a life story and many people have impact on your life over the years, but it became confusing and when someone was mentioned a second time I couldn’t remember who they were. the long chapters were also a negative point, I prefer shorter chapters so I can read one in during my breaks in the day. Overall I enjoyed this book, I don’t think I will be reading too many memoirs as they aren’t my preferred genre but I am glad I read this one

[Diane Adams · Rating 4 out of 5]

I won this kindle book in a Goodreads giveaway. It looked interesting--I really liked the cover! It took me a while to get into it. I'm not sure if it's because I didn't really know who Brady-Davis was before I started reading (probably should have read the description--that's where I really prefer print books with jackets to refer to!) I just wasn't sure where the book was going. I think I became invested in the story once I reached the photo section and Brady-Davis became a real person to me. The second half of the book flew by. Really an inspiring story!

[Joseph · Rating 4 out of 5]

Although I didn't know many of the pop culture references made throughout the book, I liked how she named nearly every person to show they made an impact on her life.

I also like how it was written in a way that allowed me to not picture her as a man or a woman (especially in her transitioning and drag times). I tended to see Precious as Precious, which is reflected in the very title of the memoir.

[Nathan Wilson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great memoir about a trans women of colour in america

[Dr. Andy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I need more queer memoirs.

[Aangi Mehta · Rating 3 out of 5]

Generally good but the pacing wasn't great and she kept alluding to situations not included in the memoir without explaining what happened

[Donna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such an important story

Everyone should read this memoir to help them understand what it’s like for young trans people who are trying to love their truth. To see everyone treat others with acceptance and respect could be helped when people read this story of beauty and resilience.

[Cody Oak · Rating 3 out of 5]

Definitely worth the read, but you do have to trudge through ranting that doesn’t have a place in the story, and some confusing story beats that are glossed over. Some of it reads like a list of accomplishments, which were the parts that seriously dragged and made the reading experience hard to get through. Almost the entire last quarter of the novel I skimmed through for that reason. But, the beginning is sublime, and same with the early days in drag- worth it for these moments alone.

[Jessica · Rating 3 out of 5]

Precious has an amazing voice and she's lead an amazing life. One thing I liked about the book was also a drawback: she is so relentlessly positive in her narrative arc, that I think we lose a little bit of her struggle. Precious speaks only tangentially about the issues she faces as a transgender person of color, but other than speaking about Myles, her husband's experience, in the ER, there is not a sense of these issues. One thing I struggled with was how non-introspective and unwilling Precious was to consider that her grandfather was likely an abuser. It seems like Precious was still not able to see how others may have experienced her grandfather. Overall, I think this a remarkable memoir about a most interesting life.

[Karen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Although I have a lot of respect for Precious Brady-Davis and all that she had overcome and all that she has accomplished, I was rather bored through much of the book with the "I did this" and "I did that" method of telling her story.

[Jann · Rating 1 out of 5]

Though this may be a worthwhile book for some it did not hold my interest. I read halfway through the book hoping to get into it but decided I had too many things I’d rather be doing with my time.

[Stacey · Rating 2 out of 5]

Considering that Brady-Davis reminds us on many occasions throughout this book about her oratory, performance and communication skills, I found this book quite lacking. It feels like simply a list of happenings and name drops, with very little emotion or feeling to the words. Towards the end she speaks of all the hardships she has had to overcome, and for a moment I genuinely wondered what she meant until I realised that a lot of the stories she'd shared in the book would have of course been tremendously difficult, but you don't get any sense of that from the writing at all.

[Theresa · Rating 3 out of 5]

I just wish there was a little more substance in this memoir. Felt a little rushed and surface level

[Robin H. Falta · Rating 2 out of 5]

I am about half way through this book and just can't waste my time finishing it. It is so not what I expected. I don't care about church or religion I wanted to know about he/she.

[Patsy · Rating 2 out of 5]

While I am totally empathetic to Precious's story, I was personally turned off by the graphic sexual descriptions of the porn she discovered while young and trying to find her identity. It's a personal trigger of my past that I don't care to hear about.

However, I will say that the extreme pentacostalism she was exposed to while young was unfortunate. She describes her struggles with her confusion about that church very well.

She is also an excellent writer, and I think any person who is questioning their sexuality of origin or is trying to transition would benefit greatly from her story.

[Diana · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked this up a second time and was able to finish the book. I could handle the second half of the book where Precious is finally able to manifest as a woman and transgendered person. Overall this book made me sad. It's a sad reminder of how hard a time many/most people have of it in life.

[Vanessa Sumner · Rating 4 out of 5]

I would give this book more like a 3.5 but I was so impressed by the vulnerability she allowed while writing about her faith that I decided on 4 stars. It’s very hard to put into words how you can simultaneously love something beyond reason (in her case the Pentecostal church) while suffering so deeply and repeatedly at the hands of an institution that is supposed to love and protect you. I felt like she explained her emotions very well.
People have criticized her confusing family tree but as someone who has had 3 step mothers, 1 step father and 3 men who lived with my mom as I was growing up, plus 4 biological siblings and a total of 22 step/half/ex-step siblings- sometimes you just cannot explain it. First of all, it’s boring to anyone but you. Second, keeping the relationships straight is almost impossible for anyone but you. Third, it would have taken the whole damn book for her to paint the complete picture of all the relationships and how she got to living with this person or that person etc. I thought she did a great job of writing about her family members (including foster family) who were pertinent to the story of her sexuality, gender and transition while glossing over those relatives and relationships that wouldn’t further the story.
I have read tons of autobiographies and although this is not even close to the most interesting ones I’ve read, I feel that there is definitely a HUGE space that needs to be filled by black queer women and men when it comes to memoirs. I imagine that people who grew up or are currently growing up in the Pentecostal church (I wasn’t really raised with religion so it was hard for me to relate) will understand more about what she faced and conquered and I’m really glad this book is out there for people who are facing similar problems or conundrums.
I would like to add that I noticed in the reviews that many people said they didn’t understand how she jumped from a gay man to her transition but I think all of those reviewers missed the point! Her ENTIRE life she felt like a girl, she wanted to be a girl, she idolized women and fantasized about being women (Tina Turner and her sister Nina are two oft talked about women she wanted to emulate). But she didn’t have vocabulary for that considering the way she was raised and didn’t even know trans people existed til she was older. All she knew as a child was that she was a feminine boy and then OTHER PEOPLE told her she was a gay boy and then a gay man. Then OTHER PEOPLE told her she was a gay man who dresses in drag. The whole book is her being told who she is by the world and it wasn’t until she realized that in her heart she is a straight woman (I know that’s not exactly the same as who Precious is because I know she is queer and not straight but she lives as basically a straight woman) that she finally transitioned. I guess I’m just confused about where people got the idea that she simply transitioned one day. Her whole life was one long transition. I know she didn’t explicitly say that, but I felt it was quite clear that she was telling the story of a lifelong journey to her transition.

[Lydia · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm not normally interested in non-fiction, biographies, or memoirs at all (I generally prefer the escapism of fantasy/science fiction), but this came up on Prime Reads just after I finished watching the TV series "Pose" so thought I'd give it a go even though I hadn't actually heard of Precious Brady-Davis before.

It's very different to the kind of books I normally read, and the style/tone of writing is pretty conversational/casual, which at first I didn't love (did I mention I'm really not a fan of memoirs?), but overtime it starts to feel a little like she's talking to you in person, which helps reveal more of her personality, and brings you closer to her as her story progresses. Of course, this memoir is a lot more structured than some stranger just recounting their life story on a park bench; it doesn't feel like she rambles and it does follow a chronological timeline from her early years to more recent past.

Her upbringing was very different to mine, (I actually struggled to relate to the parts about her religious upbringing and faith), but learning about someone whose life has been so different to my own really opened my eyes in lots of different ways, so I'm really glad I read this book.

Learning about the many, different hardships that she's overcome in her life, and how she's channeled her own negative experiences and traumas into compassion and determination to help others (especially those who are typically marginalised) was inspiring. Because of the style of writing, and because, by then, you've heard some of what it's taken for her to get to that point, when you do get to the happier moments of Precious' story, I actually found myself celebrating those "wins" with her, and feeling genuinely happy for her, as if she were a friend.

On a very minor point, I also appreciated the references to different people who've appeared on Ru Paul's Drag Race, as I'm a very recent convert!

Overall, I'm very glad I read it, and it's made me interested to find out more about her now.

[Richard Propes · Rating 3 out of 5]

Award-winning trans advocate Precious Brady-Davis has crafted an engaging memoir with "I Have Always Been Me: A Memoir," a former Amazon First Reads selection that has, unfortunately, sat on my digital shelf as I found myself more than a little bogged down with review obligations.

The book finds Brady-Davis reflecting on a childhood of neglect, instability, and abandonment that gave way to her own personal growth, empowerment, independence, and conscious decision to encourage others along the way.

Born Nathaniel, it's obvious from the book's earliest chapters that Precious felt her reality early in life and began living into it despite the uncertainties of her childhood and role models who weren't exactly encouraging in just about any aspect of her life.

She and her two siblings were for the most part abandoned by a birth mother seemingly incapable of parenting and tossed around from setting to setting until, finally, discovering some semblance of normalcy with a grandfather. Precious would eventually meet Myles, whom she would marry. The two now have a daughter who was carried by Myles. Precious is a diversity specialist in the corporate world, though still performs in drag on occasion.

While the story contained in "I Have Always Been Me" is compelling and tenderly told, the writing itself occasionally meanders with some stories drawn out excessively and others desperately needing more room to breathe. The film's early chapters, those most dealing with Precious's childhood, are the most lacking for me as they simply lack the emotional resonance that one would expect. As Precious gains her strength and grabs hold of life, "I Have Always Been Me" truly comes to life.

An undeniably engaging book, "I have Always Been Me: A Memoir" will most appeal to those who will be encouraged by its story of perseverance and learning to accept oneself even when the world around you doesn't quite understand. While I didn't quite always connect with "I Have Always Been Me," I always appreciated it and look forward to future writings from Precious Brady-Davis.