CW // pandemic setting, racism, internalized racism/cultural self-loathing, outing someone, intergenerational trauma
I have a lot of thoughts on this book. First, I’m hungry 🤤 Will definitely try out some of these recipes as soon as I could adjust the fat, salt, and sugar content because health reasons.
And this is the first time I’ve read a story of a character who’s both Filipinx (as Sarah prefers) and Jewish. Oftentimes, Filipinos are Catholic.
Also, this is definitely geared toward teens. Sarah’s journey, as well as her mother’s, is something I know all too well. In fact, the main reason I knocked it down one star is because it brings back painful memories for me. I’ve read way too many “getting in touch with my roots” stories that I want something else. Having said that, I’m sure diaspora Filipino youth still struggling with their identities need to see stories like this so they can make sense of whatever struggles they might have. I have said many times that had I read stories with Filipino MCs when I was younger, I probably would have been spared a lot of self-loathing.
And boy, does Sarah’s mom Grace have a lot of it. For me, the worst anti-Filipino sentiments I’ve ever experienced came from Filipinos themselves. (Colonial mentality, anyone? 😒) So if my own classmates hated their own ethnicity, what’s so great about being Filipino? It’s hard to get away from that kind of self-loathing, and only when I got older, found other Filipino friends who were proud of their culture, and took several ethnic studies classes did I begin to unlearn that toxic crap. For Grace, she let one lunchbox incident (side note: this incident makes me mad over that CBS article asking if a kid’s too young to learn about racism, when kids of color *experience* it 🙄) turn her into a self-hating coconut for the rest of her life, and anything bad happening to her she attributed to her being Filipino, like her father’s death because of the high-fat Filipino foods he ate (there is racism in dietetics, folks. Look it up.) It didn’t help that no one in her family talked to her about it until Sarah came along. In fact, I was glad Sarah called her out, and also mad that Sarah was more of the adult between them, and that her mom was trying to pass her own trauma onto her by erasing everything about her own Filipino side. She shouldn’t have to play therapist to her own mother, but what do I know? 🤷🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
As for Sarah, she did come off as an elitist know-it-all at times, but then again, she is a teen. Though I didn’t appreciate her comments about rooting for talent not ethnicity when she was Team Lai (sure, Jan), as well as Filipino food being at best a peasant cuisine (okay, classist). 🙄
Also, the show Cyber Chef proves you need POC showrunners and behind-the-scenes crew, because…damn. 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️ I mean, getting someone’s name right shouldn’t have to be a goddamn struggle that you just give up on and stick with the wrong pronunciation because it’s “too hard” for you. 😒🙄
And I didn’t like how the POC characters had to “rise above” the racist microaggressions thrown their way — i.e., extend the white producers and the one white queer contestant who had that racist meltdown grace. Del even said “we’re accustomed to it,” which is something POC should never have to be accustomed to in the first place! Sarah, when finally revealing she’s also Jewish, was also chided for not being straightforward with her identity in the first place, when that racist Chuck (who suddenly got nicer to the teen contestants) kept pushing for her Filipino side. She’s a kid who has to deal with her own trauma; the adults should have known better than to speak over her, like getting her damn name right! Why is it that POC, no matter how young, have to be the ones doing the work of dismantling systemic racism anyway? When there’s injustice that big, you go after the higher-ups. Sadly, there’s no real accountability with these showrunners, and worse, they unknowingly helped Sarah with her own personal journey. So they get off scot-free because despite the backstage drama, it all worked to their advantage. 🤦🏻♀️
Nitpicky stuff: wasn’t too keen on the immediate translation of Filipino terms. Some of them I felt weren’t even accurate, proving this book was written for a white audience in mind. Also, you don’t need to capitalize the “W” in white. And shouldn’t it be “nata de coco” instead of “coco de nata”? Then there was the weird formatting in the matzah brei recipe. 👀
And what was with the outing scene during the family argument with Grace’s engagement to Aaron? That felt so unnecessary, violent even. You never out a queer person before they’re ready, ever.
I’ll end with this: I don’t care if Filipino food doesn’t become the “next big thing.” You know colonizers will appropriate and bastardize it as they are wont to do. I still cringe over the Bon Appetit’s bastardized version of halo-halo and Giada DeLaurentis’ atrocity she calls “chicken adobo.” Let Filipinos cook and enjoy our own food, thanks. 😌