Loving Edie: How a Dog Afraid of Everything Taught Me to Be Brave

by Meredith May

From the author of The Honey Bus comes a wild and emotional memoir of family and self-discovery, featuring a lovable golden retriever named Edie

Meredith May had a difficult childhood, with a mother who was physically present but emotionally absent. She learned early on to fend for herself, and never had to care for anyone else. When she and her wife, Jenn, adopt Edie, a sweet golden retriever puppy with saucer brown eyes and buttery white fur, Edie wins their hearts immediately. But it isn’t long after Edie joins the family that the problems begin.

Edie is an unusually anxious dog. She cowers around most people and the slightest noise sends her into a frenzy. Edie’s fears become so intense that Meredith and Jenn can’t leave the house. Is this normal puppy behavior or something more? Meredith grows determined to fix Edie, but what will she do if Edie can’t be fixed?

In this poignant and heartfelt memoir, Meredith shares her unforgettable journey with Edie, and the lessons about selflessness and unconditional love that she learns along the way. From treating Edie with CBD gummies to visiting a dog medium, Meredith shows just how far she is willing to go to save her dog. But maybe Edie is secretly the one doing the saving—if Meredith will only open her heart.

Genres: Animals, Nonfiction, Memoir, Dogs, Audiobook, American, Adult

304 pages, Hardcover

Published April 19, 2022

About the author

Meredith May is a memoirist and children's book author. Her books include THE HONEY BUS (HarperCollins/Park Row Books); I, WHO DID NOT DIE (Regan Arts); and LOVING EDIE (HarperCollins/Park Row Books). She is a fifth-generation beekeeper with several hives in Carmel Valley. During her 16-year career at the San Francisco Chronicle, her writing won the PEN USA Literary Award for Journalism and was shortlisted for the Pulitzer Prize. Her first children's picture book, MY HIVE, will be published by Cameron Kids in 2024.

Reviews

[Sharon Orlopp · Rating 3 out of 5]

Delightful book about Edie, a golden retriever puppy who has anxieties and fears. Jen and Meredith are a married couple in their fifties. Meredith has had two golden retriever dogs in the past and feels she is uber-knowledgeable about raising and training golden retrievers. Jen had a dog very briefly during her childhood and initially was not excited about bringing a dog into their home.

Edie behaves much differently than Meredith's previous two golden retrievers. Meredith and Jen take Edie to puppy training, several vets, and even an animal "medium" who can speak to and listen to animals to better understand their concerns.

With Edie's extreme anxiety, she is unable to be boarded so that impacts travel plans, personally and professionally, for Jen and Meredith. They even decide to relocate from the Bay area to a remote 10 acre farm to see if that helps Edie.

It goes without saying---Edie helps them evaluate their reactions, grow and develop in ways they hadn't anticipated.

[Carol · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's a memoir type of story but was occasionally very, very hard to read. The author impulsively buys Edie, a golden retriever puppy, from a breeder. So many animals need loving homes; I am always saddened when someone chooses to buy a pet from a breeder. Okay....soap box safely put away! To make the situation even worse, the author's expectations were way, way, way over the poor puppies' capabilities. She expects Edie to be just like her two previous golden retrievers. Baby dogs are no different than baby people...each is different. I don’t understand how someone can claim to be a dog person and not understand that. Each dog is an individual with their own needs and preferences. When Edie turns out to be highly sensitive with special needs related to her anxiety, the author describes her as “broken.” I almost stopped listening at this point as it didn't seem that it was going to be good for that poor little puppy. She and her wife soon get frustrated at their inability to “fix” this sweet little girl, they actually discuss giving her up or...heaven forbid...having her euthanized. On the plus side, and I was glad to see there was a plus side... the author shares her story in an honest and compelling way, including how she and her wife were both traumatized as children, and how that trauma may be affecting their relationship with each other and with Edie. The author keeps trying to help Edie and eventually finds a team of people who can assist her. They learn to understand and trust each other. That journey is an interesting as well as a touching story.

[Sandra · Rating 3 out of 5]

*sigh* it’s hard for me to rate this book because I did not like this woman. I suppose she deserves credit for putting her selfishness and ignorance on display, and I’m hoping it might somehow help others understand dogs, but I’m not sure she truly realizes how awful she was. I bristled when she dismissed the idea of adopting a dog and instead had to have one from a breeder, but tried to withhold judgment. But then I just kept getting angrier and more annoyed with her as the book progressed. I know it’s easy to judge from outside, and after-the-fact, but so many times she was obviously obtuse to her dog’s language and needs it was frustrating. And worse, her complete lack of realization how her own anxiety & disappointment were affecting Edie. Again, this may have been purposefully written to expose her own faults, and she admits to many mistakes, but the overall tone didn’t strike me as truly the changed person she thinks she is at the end.
I’m giving it 3 stars because of what I mentioned in the beginning of this review, and also because the beginning of the book is a really well-written piece on loving and missing dogs. And because I love books about animals, and this was well-written in that regard. But my annoyance at her took away a lot of the reading pleasure for me 😕

[Chad K · Rating 1 out of 5]

The story is OK. I could not get past her refusing to even consider a dog from a shelter. There are lots of purebred dogs in shelters (and purebred dogs are no better than other dogs). When she needed training, where did she go? The San Francisco ASPCA - a shelter. Shelters are good enough to help train a dog, but not good enough to get a dog. This type of thinking is just mindbogglingly bothersome to me. That small-minded decision ruined the book for me.

[Shannon · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a great look at what it means to care for something other than yourself, whether you’re a parent of a human or a dog parent. It shows that it is about giving to the being that needs you regardless of what you get in return. A good feel good story.

[Kelly · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing this book in exchange for an honest review.
I had some issues with this book. First, the book summary says they adopted Edie. To me there's a huge difference between adopting and buying from a breeder. I'm a huge proponent of adopt, don't shop.
Ok, now that I have that said, I was very put off by the author's feelings about getting basically a broken, defective puppy. All dogs are different, even those of the same breed. She expected quick fixes and I felt like she was trying to hard to make her puppy perfect, like her previous Golden's.
So the first half of this book was difficult for me to get through. I had to take breaks from it because it was making me so mad.
The second half of the book has its redeeming points and I started to really enjoy the book. I'm so happy attitudes changed and Edie could adapt to life at her pace. I'm also happy they didn't give up on Edie.

[Kay · Rating 1 out of 5]

I gave this book one star because … in the beginning of the book the author completely trashes and bad mouths adopting a dog from a shelter. She insists those dogs are riddled with problems. Her partner wants to adopt an older dog from there but she insists on getting a puppy from a breeder. Then she makes an impulse decision by getting one without researching the breeder. And the best part….her adopted purebred puppy is riddled with problems. She is irresponsible and immature for spouting off so negatively about shelter dogs where people will read her uneducated and nonsense opinion. I have adopted 3 dogs (all older) and 4 cats (all older) from shelters and NONE were riddled with problems. If she wants a purebred, there is NO need to trash rescue dogs. If there was a zero star rating, I would have gladly given that. 🐾🐾🐾

[Suzanne · Rating 4 out of 5]

LOVING EDIE is the rare memoir that tells as much about the owners as about the animal at the heart of the story. Edie is a puppy filled with fear, despite her owners loving attention and previous dog experience. The story describes their ups and downs as they bond, discover solutions, fail and try again and again until they ultimately find a new lifestyle that pleases everyone in the household. As another human with a dog filled with fear, I know the experience intimately and have traveled this road myself. It’s a tough journey but well worth it in the end. I found this book charming, engaging and honest; it was a joy to read. I received my copy from the publisher through NetGalley.

[Ruth · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.75 rounded up to 4
An effective dog mom memoir that truly does run the reader through the gamut of being elated with a cute new puppy to finding out what specific personality quirks that little cutie has built into their psyche to figuring out if you love the little being enough to adjust your lifestyle and put a dependent creature's needs before your own. I would say all of us dog owners go through this type of cycle when we bring a new pet into our home, though the serious emotional issues of the little pup in this story, Edith (Edie), are more extreme and definitely outside the norm.

While I struggled a bit with the author repeatedly sharing feelings that her anxiety-ridden puppy was broken, or "not what she signed up for," maybe one way to look at it is someone being very honest about having feelings of inadequacy or frustration. This book provides a little backstory for the author's experience raising golden retrievers and her relationship with her wife, and how they came to get Edie from a breeder. The book takes place over the course of a couple of years so it's life before Edie and the first year and a half with Edie as part of their family.

In the long run, the author and her wife have the means to invest the necessary time and money into eventually understanding what daily life is like for their scared little puppy, what triggers her fears, and the different ways they can create a safe world in which Edie can thrive. Despite the author's painful words about having a defective dog and the real possbility of giving up and rehoming the animal, peppered throughout the book are recollections of genuine love and affection, as evidenced by the lengths to which Edie's owners will go to uproot life as they know it so they can establish a new and healthy home base not only for Edie, but for themselves too. They are very good at developing a supportive community to help them get over the hurdles associated with raising a dog that needs more attention and care than most. By the conclusion of the book, my heart was happy for Edie and her family.

[Nursebookie · Rating 4 out of 5]

TITLE: LOVING EDIE: How a Dog Afraid of Everything Taught Me to Be Brave
AUTHOR: Meredith May
PUB DATE: 04.19.2022

In this poignant and heartfelt memoir, Meredith shares her unforgettable journey with Edie, and the lessons about selflessness and unconditional love that she learns along the way. From treating Edie with CBD gummies to visiting a dog medium, Meredith shows just how far she is willing to go to save her dog. But maybe Edie is secretly the one doing the saving—if Meredith will only open her heart.

REVIEW: Loving Edie was such an emotional read that made me love my pup even more. I loved the writing, which touches upon the vulnerability of the situation, and Meredith May’s poignant account of their family’s journey with Edie, their gorgeous golden retriever. I found the story engaging and a joy to read.

[Patty · Rating 4 out of 5]

The story of a golden retriever puppy who appears to start life as a normal golden only to exhibit extreme fear as she got older. This is also the very personal story of how the humans tried to work with the dog to ease the fears and build her confidence and bravery. By the end Edie is much braver.

I was glad to see the process and steps laid out. I was glad that a number of times the author mentioned that they were lucky to have the time and resources to investigate a number of options and find great help. I was especially glad to have the author say this is a process and their dog is never going to be the 'normal' golden retriever.

As an owner of a fearful golden, it was good to see what they tried and the progress that they were able to achieve.

[Tracy · Rating 2 out of 5]

I rated it with 2 stars when I really wanted to rate it 1.This woman who professed to be a Golden expert just went to any old breeder and grabbed the first puppy she saw and expected it to be the exact replica of her previous Golden.Then spent a small fortune on trainers and "accessories." Felt sorry for the puppy though. Having said all this, I was very disappointed in this book.

[Carolyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another enjoyable memoir from the author of The Honey Bus, which I loved. This is a story from Meredith May’s adult life, recounting her and her wife’s journey raising a highly anxious and fearful Golden Retriever. I am somewhat familiar with the challenges of a neurotic dog (not nearly this bad, though) and so I found myself relating and empathizing with all the hard work and frustrations they experienced. May captures so well all the roller coaster emotions of caring deeply for a family member (yes, dogs are family) with a difficult condition, which particularly resonated with me right now as I’m dealing with a pet with a chronic disease. She’s a terrific writer - a former journalist for the San Francisco Chronicle - and I’m always highly engaged with her books. Dog lovers will love this book, but many others will enjoy it for her ability to so effectively tell stories about family love and compassion.

[Jenna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved her first book and was so happy when this came out, and I was especially happy that the dog does not die in the end! Having impulsively adopted 2 kittens who were labeled as "fearful" there was so much in the book that resonated with me. We adopted the kittens 5 years ago and I expected them to "be normal" after we had them for a while, and they saw how our older, affectionate. and very calm cat behaved around us. Well, that has not happened. They have come a long way with us, but we had to learn that the progress would happen on their terms, not ours.

[Sue Martin · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think the author needed to stop her pity party of “ I didn’t get the dog I wanted “ far earlier than she did. She purchased a puppy from a breeder without any research and just expected this pup to be just like her other dogs—- take them everywhere and have others compliment her on how great they were. Well Edie is different with high anxiety and can’t do that; so much of the book just focused on Edie’s “ shortcomings “ to the point where they discuss dumping her at a shelter or euthanizing her!!! How about realizing that each of us as humans and dogs are different, quirky, and have our own “ stuff” ? If you are not willing to put in the work, don’t get any type of animal! It’s not necessarily easy but the issues she had were not things that were dangerous, like aggressive behavior; they needed to take time to understand her rather than just highlighting how she didn’t live up to their expectations. Thankfully, they eventually did and that saved this book in my opinion.
I write this as a huge dog lover who currently has her 5th rescue dog, and seeing that they all have quirk and we need to meet them where they are and accept them for who they really are and love them for who they are!

[Sunflowerbooklover · Rating 4 out of 5]

At first, I didn't realize that this is the same author that wrote The Honey Bus. That book was absolutely phenomenal!!

Meredith May shares another heartfelt memoir about the unforgettable journey she has with her dog Edie. Poignant and inspiring lessons she learns along the way about unconditional love and selflessness.

Loving Edie will make you cuddle up with your pup that much harder and just appreciate how much healing and love we can have through our animals. I found this story an absolute joy to read and put a smile on my face. Another stunner from May!

4/5 stars.

Thank you so much to Harlequin and Park Row for my copy in exchange for an honest review.

Pub date: 4/19/22
Published to GR: 5/1/22

[Leigh · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a must read for anyone who has a fearful or anxious dog or knows someone who loves a dog like that. Or really anyone who loves dogs and wants to understand how to be a better human for them. I have an anxious dog and I have experienced almost everything Meredith and her partner did and I have tried everything they did except moving to 10 acres in rural Northern California. I did get a second dog which they didn’t do and (no surprise) it has helped and also made it worse. My nervous dog is doing both better than Edie and not as well as Edie. This book helped me feel less alone in my struggle with him and more confident in meeting him where he is.

[Teresa Biggie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I know most of the people who did not like the book were angry that she bought a puppy from a breeder instead of adopting . I do not have any issues with breeders
My issue was how many times did they let Edie OFF the leash ???? You should not do that in unfamiliar territory anyways but with a highly anxious dog they were insanely dumb about it
I thought it was a great book on dealing with special dogs and how we tend to compare them to the great ones of our past and they are individuals. Meredith did a great job weaving her and spouses past histories into the story but still relating it to dog ownership

[MaryEllen Webb · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fun book to read especially while I have a new puppy. Some good training ideas!

[Arjun Manoj · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely perfect!

[Lorena · Rating 4 out of 5]

This well-written memoir was occasionally hard for me to read. The author impulsively buys Edie, a golden retriever puppy, from a breeder. So many animals need loving homes; I am always saddened when someone chooses to buy a pet from a breeder. Worse, the author expects Edie to be just like her two previous golden retrievers. I don’t understand how someone can claim to be a dog person and not understand that each dog is an individual with their own needs and preferences. When Edie turns out to be highly sensitive with special needs related to her anxiety, the author describes her as “broken.” When she and her wife get frustrated at their inability to “fix” this sweet puppy, they actually discuss giving her up or having her euthanized.

On the plus side, the author shares her story in an honest and compelling way, including how she and her wife were both traumatized as children, and how that trauma may be affecting their relationship with each other and with Edie. The author keeps trying to help Edie and finds a team of people who can assist her. Eventually they learn to understand and trust each other, and that journey is an interesting and touching story.

Animal lovers and those who enjoy stories of personal growth will probably appreciate this.

I was provided an unproofed ARC through NetGalley that I volunteered to review.

[Ellen Tarwater-Clower · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved it! Even the most imperfect of us is perfect in our own way…

[T · Rating 3 out of 5]

A quick-ish read about an anxiety ridden dog and her neurotic humans. Animals are experts at picking up vibes and emotions from their humans, so I think a little more introspection on the part of the author might be needed.

[Susy · Rating 4 out of 5]

After reading The Honey Bus which is a memoir of the author's childhood, I was eager to read about raising a puppy - something I'd love to do. She & her brother were rescued by her maternal grandparents after her parents divorced and she followed her grandfather's love of beekeeping. In this second memoir we meet her and her wife who welcome an adorable puppy, Edie. May grew up with a dog as a companion & convinces her wife that raising a puppy is "a piece of cake" - except it's not! Edie is an incredibly anxious dog and Meredith begins to doubt that she might not be able to fixed.

I feel like I got to know Meredith and her wife while reading The Honey Bus and wanted to read a happily ever after. In addition to her coming of age challenges she worked as a reporter for the San Francisco Chronicle as did my father. She also rowed on a master' crew team with my sister. She has overcome a significant amount of adversity and tells her story with great detail but without pity.

[Em's Adventures · Rating 3 out of 5]

First of all, kudos to the author for her open, honest account, freely admitting her shortcomings and exposing herself in such a way. This book is beautifully written and easy to read so it's such a shame that reading is so painful. I had to give up half way through, and here's why.

Firstly, having read others reviews, I get it, her refusal to get a dog from the shelter that's "riddled with problems," even though her wife really wants to adopt, is sad, however, views have changed a lot over the years and in some ways I can understand the hesitation even if it's not what I would've chosen myself. Thankfully these narrow minded views are not so much the case anymore and more and more people choose to adopt. In anycase I think Meridith realises this now and learnt her lesson (I hope).

What I found to be the deal breaker for me, was the constant comparison to her previous dogs. It was so hard to read her talking about her lovely little dog in such a way, constantly comparing her through every chapter to her oh so perfect dog Stella. Surely she can't possibly expect every dog to be the same personality!?
I felt so sorry for Edie. Especially when she said things like "I'm so devastated for our beautiful girl, and for how this may impact our marriage" it makes me want to scream! She doesn't want to deal with this poor dogs anxiety at all.
My Mum and I would gladly have accepted the challenge of helping this dear wee dog Edie overcome his anxiety-that's nothing compared to having a dog that has much worse problems like our poor boy who is constantly dealing with allergies and medical problems. Mum has to make up and cook his special food and monitor his health constantly, but we love him to bits and wouldn't exchange him anyday.

I get that it's hard not to compare your previous pets with your current ones, I mean, it's hard not to sometimes, but to actually fully expect your pet to be an exact replica and then actually want to take her back and exchange her is just going too far.

I really want to look past these things, especially if the author is on a journey of growth and learning throughout the book, but I skipped ahead and read the epilogue, and guess what, still comparing Edie and Stella, still whining about having a dog that has anxiety issues.
I just really didn't like the author as a whole, not just for her attitude towards her dog but for the way she vented her frustration at other people and snapped at the people who were just trying to help her.

[Diane Adams · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and Harlequin Trade Publishing for the electronic ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.

I love animal books. But I hate that so many of them involve the animal dying. I hope it’s not a spoiler to say that this is not one of those books—and that’s the first thing I love about this book!

I am an unabashed cat person, but I can definitely appreciate a good dog story. (I also appreciate that there was, in fact, a cat in this story as well.) This was a wonderful dog story—and also a wonderful people story. I’ve certainly heard my share of tales of pets with health issues, but not so much about those with psychological issues. It got me wondering—is there as much a stigma around animal mental health as human mental health? Everyone jokes about tricking their pets into taking pills—but what about when that pill is Prozac? So I guess the second thing I love about this book is that it sheds light on the emotional health needs of pets.

I think more and more people are recognizing that pets are as important to many people as their children. The women in this memoir are a middle-aged childless couple. They didn’t want children, and they got more than they bargained for when they adopted Edie. But while some might give up on a problem pet, they tried to solve the problem and keep the pet…and that is the crux of the story, so I’d better stop now before I really include any spoilers!

Just a couple more things I particularly loved/appreciated—a visit with a pet psychic, and the integration of the pandemic into the narrative.

To be fair, this book did not make me want to run out and adopt a golden retriever, but it did give me a new understanding of my “dog person” friends. If you are an animal lover, you will find much to love about this book.

[Christina · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’m torn with this one.

The positives: I LOVE dogs, so the subject matter greatly appealed to me. The author is a talented writer, so that’s a bonus as well. Edie, the Golden Retriever that the book is about, stole my heart. She seems like such a sweet, sensitive dog.

The negatives: I dislike the author’s refusal to get a rescue dog, as it might have issues. Rescue dogs are some of the greatest dogs to have. I hope her opinion will not discourage others from rescuing. Also, I feel like this book was stretched out at times - it could’ve been told in a shorter version.

3 stars.

[Barbara · Rating 5 out of 5]

First of all - I loved this book and could not put it down. I have never had a dog, but I have had two rescue rabbits, one with severe PTSD, and we have one neurotic cat who is very special.

I loved cheering on Edie and her accomplishments, and I loved how her humans learned and evolved right alongside of her. Their own stories added to the sweetness of Edie's progressions, and their realization that they were progressing too.

This is a story of acceptance and love for both the puppy and her humans.

[Sarah Lumos · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reading through the books, I can understand why so many people had opposing views on it. However, I actually felt like the author was being deeply candid. She was describing what a lot of new dog owners go through. When you get a dog, there are a lot of expectations that you have for your puppy. I think it's natural to go in with expectations on what life with you dog would be like. However, the author quickly realized that her dog, Edie, was different from her other golden retrievers. Edie had a more shy, timid personality - the author had to learn how to navigate the challenges brought on by Edie's anxiety.

What I took away from the book was someone who loved their dog very deeply. Having a dog with special needs can be very difficult; however, the author consulted lots of professionals and did what she could to support Edie. She didn't abandon her. I thought her venting about Edie was more so to do with the grief of not getting the classic golden retriever personality she imagined.

I found the passages about the author's childhood trauma really uncomfortable to read though. Most people reading this book are most likely dog lovers, and reading those passages was really uncomfortable for me. Not to discourage the author from adding them in, but I wish I just knew about what to expect ahead of time. However, I can completely understand how that childhood trauma can shape her relationship with Edie.

I know a lot of people disliked the author putting down rescues/adopting from a shelter, since she viewed these dogs as damaged, but I hope this book can be a lesson that just because you buy a purebred from a breeder doesn't mean you won't run into issues. There are lots of sweet dogs that need homes, and we should be supportive of adopting. But I think the author's thoughts reflect what a lot of people go through when they add a new dog to their family. You just never know what your dog's personality is going to be like. But it's clear the author did love her dog - even moving out to the country where Edie could have less triggers, getting Edie anxiety medications, and working with a professional trainer - in order to support her care.

[Rebecca · Rating 4 out of 5]

In the middle of this book I was feeling very annoyed with the author, not liking her. I was starting to wonder if it was the author or the reader of the audiobook that I was getting annoyed with. But stick it out to the end. I think her "bravery" referred to on the cover was her honesty in this tale of mistakes. Perhaps--I hope--she revealed all these mistakes & mistaken ideas & wrong thoughts because they are ones other people have too. e.g. Thinking you should get a dog from a breeder because rescue/shelter dogs have problems--& then you end up with a dog from a breeder with problems. e.g. Expecting a new pet to be just like the last one you had rather than expecting each to be their own individual selves--just like human children. The tension & irritation I felt in the middle about these things & why it was taking them so long to ask a vet or try certain things--I felt that relax & resolve by the end as the people changed their thinking/behavior/approach.

Just 2 things left to wonder about: Evie's behavior sounded autistic to me, & I have heard of autism in dogs, did that never come up in discussions or research, never occur to anyone? And why was the cat so thoroughly dropped from the story?? When she was fleeing from the wildfire & mentioned loading the petS (plural) in the car, I was like "petS"?? Then she says something about a cat & I was like "Oh, yeah, wasn't there some mention way back at the beginning about puppy Evie interacting with a cat???" But then no mention at all for so long--not even when they moved to the new house--that I forgot all about it. It might be interesting to read this same story written by her wife.