Life Is Tough (But So Are You): How to rise to the challenge when things go pear-shaped

by Briony Benjamin

Perfect for fans of life-changing personal development manuals like The Resilience Project, The Happiness Project and When Life Is Not Peachy .

"This is the book everyone needs to read when life takes an unexpected turn." - Mia Freedman, MamaMia

Not all storms come to disrupt your life. Some come to clear your path.

Viral video producer Briony Benjamin was a few months into a new job when she started feeling crappy... All. The. Time. Doctors told her she was just stressed and should rest more and learn to meditate. But it turns out she had cancer all through her body.

Turning the camera on herself, Briony started documenting her journey in the short video You Only Get One Life . Its raw portrayal of her experience went viral, touching millions.

Here Briony shares some of the important lessons learnt through her illness and recovery - everything from how to assemble your A Team in times of crisis and learning to make friends with the pain, to happy hacks for cutting yourself some slack and some great tips on being a kick-arse support human when a friend is going through the rough stuff.

If you want to live the richest version of your life, bring some more joy into your day-to-day existence and have some tools up your sleeve for when things get tricksy, this book is for you. Because - spoiler alert - we all have to deal with our fair share of tough times sooner or later. It's how we handle them and bounce back afterwards that really matters.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Audiobook, Psychology

216 pages, Hardcover

Published February 22, 2022

Reviews

[M B · Rating 3 out of 5]

There’s a few good gems here. Nothing mind blowing but pretty helpful. I went through a hard physical challenge this year with a broken foot, of which the huge impact on my mental health took me by surprise.
The author of this book had a huge amount of support from both parents, a partner, a well-known supportive employer in social media, and what appears to be a large and solid circle of friends. As I have none of those things, I couldn’t relate to a lot of it and I also have a child to care for by myself, so the burden of this seemingly non-serious injury was actually huge and devastating. The only thing that was said about people in situations like mine was something along the lines of “that is hard and I am sorry but here is some resources you can use”. Going through a hard thing entirely by yourself is completely different than doing it with a team of support people and no financial worries.
I believe I would have coped better if I had the same privileges as the author, but now that it’s 11 weeks later and I’m on my way to recovery (but not totally there yet) I can say the title of the book is correct: Life is tough but so am I.

[Sian Santiago · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a lovely, short audiobook that provided an uplifting start to 2025. I especially liked the section about advice for helping people in crisis, as it provided valuable insight into the things that can be helpful and the platitudes that can not be helpful. I’ve never seen them explained so clearly in text, and think that it is beneficial that they are.

[Katie Hardy · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 ✨ A beautifully written account of life going through a tough time and beyond. Really helpful for my own cancer diagnosis and journey.

Full of words of wisdom, funny and relatable anecdotes and things you've always wanted to say to well meaning people but never could!

[Kimberley (yepanotherbookstagram) · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book turned up on my doorstep by surprise (thanks @murdochbooks !) and I’m so glad that it did. Throughout this amazingly pretty book, Briony shares how she managed a cancer diagnosis in her early 30s. This book is full of tips and because it comes from experience, it is so genuine.

My 2021 didn’t exactly turn out the way I thought it would - my Dad passed away unexpectedly, and then a short time later, I was diagnosed with a congenital heart condition that ended up requiring open heart surgery. This book resonated so much with me, and I know I’ll be going back to it many times.

I highly recommend this - to those going through a tough time, and those supporting those going through a tough time. Thanks Briony for sharing your experience!

[Miriam Morgans · Rating 5 out of 5]

Life is tough, but so are you
By Briony Benjamin

Blurb

Viral video producer Briony Benjamin was a few months into a new job when she started feeling not quite right… All. The. Time. Doctors told her she was just stressed and should rest more and learn to meditate. But it turns out she had cancer all through her body.

Turning the camera on herself, Briony started documenting her journey in the short video 'You Only Get One Life'. Its raw portrayal of her experience went viral, touching millions.

Here Briony shares some of the important lessons learnt through her illness and recovery - everything from how to assemble your A Team in times of crisis and learning to make friends with the pain, to happy hacks for cutting yourself some slack and some great tips on being a good supportive human when a friend is going through the rough stuff.

If you want to live the richest version of your life, bring some more joy into your day-to-day existence, and have some tools up your sleeve for when things get tricksy, this book is for you. Because - spoiler alert - we all have to deal with our fair share of tough times sooner or later. It's how we handle them and bounce back afterwards that really matters.

I downloaded this audio book because the sad fact is that one in two people develop cancer within their lives.
Chances are we know someone very close who is battling cancer.
This book is not only supportive of those fighting cancer it is also supportive of those picking up the pieces around the loved one dealing with the disease.
This book is helpful, real, positive, and humble.
A brilliant book in helping you through trauma.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ from me!🤓

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m not generally a fan of ‘self-help’ books but calling this a self-help book would be akin to calling Michelangelo a painter instead of an artist.

The way this is written is relatable and the writing makes it feel like a Briony is talking directly to you. It’s plain language, it’s a bit heartbreaking, but there is a ton of humour throughout the whole thing.

I loved how it was set out as well. There are some pages that just have a few words in them to make the point clear, others that have space to write your own things, whilst even more have literal checklists you can take a photo of and keep with you.

I use quite a few of the things mentioned in this book already (usually because of work 🤭) which, for me, lends credibility to everything else. It works. And sometimes it’s a cold splash of reality but that’s what is needed.

Although you had to go through hell, @briony_benjamin, what you’ve produced here is nothing short of wonderful. Thank you for sending me a copy ❤️

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 / 5

[Lyn Richards · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. I listened to the audio version of this book. The author Briony Benjamin takes the reader on an authentic, raw and vulnerable journey.

At first when I started listening to this book, I didn't think there was going to be anything different in this book that I hadn't already learned in other self help books, but halfway into chapter one I realised I was wrong.

Benjamin outlines how you can support others in a meaningful and compassionate way when they receive a serious medical diagnosis. She knows this from being that patient. She provides practical and sensible advice for both the patient and those around the patient.

For anyone that wants to meaningfully support others in tough situations, not just subjected to a medical diagnosis but any tough time, this is the read for you to develop skills and not say things that whilst well intentioned are really unhelpful.

[jeaña ♡ · Rating 5 out of 5]

As someone who went through physical sickness, I could say that this book helped me motivate myself. I've read several lines that made me validate my feelings. It helped me as well to remind myself that it's okay to rest. It's okay to take time and don't rush things.

I highly recommend this book! Such a good read. 🤍🍃

[Niki · Rating 2 out of 5]

If you are a young person with cancer, this book would be very useful. But if you’re just a regular person with normal level hardships, you probably can’t get away with asking your friends to bring you dinner every night

[Emma Woodward · Rating 5 out of 5]

The last two pages, left the best meaning. “All we have is this moment in time”

[Sarah M · Rating 3 out of 5]

This would be great for someone going through a hard time and wants something snappy and to the point!

[Tayla McDonnell · Rating 5 out of 5]

They say “no rain, no flowers”. From the supercell thunderstorm that was @briony_benjamin’s journey with Stage 4 Lymphoma, came the delightfully arranged bouquet that is her book ‘Life Is Tough (But So Are You)’. Briony was disarmingly honest in recounting her experience with Cancer and remarkably generous in turning it into a pocket guide of practical advice for when life hurtles a bag of rotten lemons at you. It was unfaultable; the use of plain language, laugh-out-loud humour, and a format that was both aesthetic and digestible. She covers everything from self-care, to JOMO (the joy of missing out), setting personal boundaries, productivity anxiety and advice on how to both help your loved ones AND ask your loved ones for help. Something that really resonated with me was her discourse around the privilege of ageing – a luxury so many are not afforded. It has challenged my attitude towards growing older, and given me the perspective I needed to prioritise gratitude as a daily ritual.

Thank you @briony_benjamin & @murdochbooks for our gifted copy of ‘Life Is Tough (But So Are You)’
RRP $32.99

Review originally posted via Instagram @twogirlsonebookshelf

[Sammysreads · Rating 5 out of 5]

Life Is Tough But So Are You is an inspiring and down to earth book written by Briony Benjamin. It details her experience with cancer and some wonderful and funny insights into some of the lessons learnt in this journey.

As someone who deals with a lot of chronic pain, one of the gems in this book really stood out for me. It was all about making space and accepting it so that it isn't so exhausting. And giving it a name! I'm looking forward to naming my painful friend next time she drops in for a visit.

Another one I loved: "It's ok to be flat lemonade"

Thank you so much to Briony and to Murdoch books for sending me this gorgeous copy

[Magpie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kerry bookclub 2021

[Via · Rating 4 out of 5]

Briony membuka bab ini dengan menceritakan momen ketika hidupnya tiba-tiba berubah total. Saat itu, ia adalah seorang produser video di Mamamia—hidupnya tampak menyenangkan dari luar: pekerjaan seru, lingkungan kerja glamor, dan penampilan ceria. Tapi di balik itu semua, tubuhnya terus-menerus merasa sakit dan lelah, meskipun ia sudah mencoba segala hal sehat: meditasi, pola makan bersih, detoks digital—semuanya.

Selama setahun, ia mendengar berbagai pendapat dari dokter yang bilang itu cuma stres biasa. Tapi akhirnya, setelah desakan dari orang tuanya, ia bertemu hematolog (dokter darah), dan hasil biopsi menunjukkan: kanker Hodgkin’s lymphoma. Diagnosis ini datang seperti badai yang menghantam hidupnya—dan semuanya berubah dalam sekejap.

Ia juga berbagi satu nasihat penting dari dokternya: jangan terlalu jauh berpikir ke depan. Fokus saja pada tiga langkah selanjutnya. Saran ini sangat membantunya untuk tetap waras di tengah kabut ketidakpastian. Ia menyadari bahwa dalam krisis, kita nggak harus tahu semua jawabannya. Cukup lakukan satu langkah kecil, lalu satu lagi.

Bab ini menggambarkan perasaan frustrasi yang sering muncul ketika kita berada dalam proses pemulihan atau menghadapi tantangan besar dalam hidup—terutama saat hasilnya belum terlihat. Briony menyebutkan bagaimana ia merasa seolah-olah tidak pernah sampai ke titik akhir, meskipun ia telah berusaha sekuat tenaga. Ketika berada dalam situasi yang penuh ketidakpastian, kita sering kali ingin tahu kapan semuanya akan berakhir dan kapan kita bisa merasakan kelegaan.

Briony mengajak kita untuk menerima kenyataan bahwa proses pemulihan dan pertumbuhan itu membutuhkan waktu. Tidak ada solusi instan dalam mengatasi krisis atau kesulitan hidup, dan sering kali, kita harus belajar untuk bertahan dan tetap sabar, meskipun kita tidak melihat hasilnya dengan segera. Selama proses ini, penting untuk menghargai setiap langkah kecil yang diambil, meskipun itu terasa lambat dan tidak signifikan.

Beberapa kualitas teman yang baik termasuk:

Keberanian untuk mendengarkan tanpa menghakimi: Teman yang baik tidak perlu memberikan solusi, tetapi mereka harus ada untuk mendengarkan dan memberi ruang bagi kita untuk mengekspresikan diri.

Menawarkan bantuan konkret: Terkadang, dukungan terbaik bukan hanya kata-kata, tetapi tindakan nyata, seperti menawarkan untuk membantu mengatur jadwal atau menyediakan makanan.

Tidak takut untuk menunjukkan kerapuhan: Teman yang baik juga tahu bahwa mereka tidak harus sempurna. Mereka bisa menunjukkan kerentanannya sendiri dan berbagi perasaan tanpa takut dinilai.

Memberikan dorongan tanpa tekanan: Teman yang baik tahu kapan untuk memberikan dorongan dan semangat, tetapi tidak memaksa kita untuk “cepat sembuh” atau melupakan perasaan kita.

Briony mengingatkan bahwa setiap orang memiliki kapasitas berbeda dalam memberi dukungan, dan tidak semua orang harus menjadi ahli. Yang penting adalah mereka hadir, peduli, dan siap untuk menemani kita dalam perjalanan ini.

Briony berbicara tentang pentingnya membuat tujuan kecil dan terjangkau yang dapat memberi kita rasa pencapaian, bahkan di tengah ketidakpastian. Meskipun masa depan tidak dapat diprediksi, kita tetap bisa mengendalikan langkah-langkah kecil yang kita ambil. Ia menyarankan agar kita mulai dengan merencanakan hal-hal kecil yang bisa dilakukan dalam waktu dekat, dan seiring berjalannya waktu, itu akan membantu kita membangun kembali rasa percaya diri dan memberi arah.
Briony juga berbicara tentang kemampuan kita untuk beradaptasi. Saat hidup mengubah arah kita, kita bisa memilih untuk membuka diri terhadap kemungkinan baru. Ia menekankan bahwa meskipun kita tidak tahu persis apa yang akan datang, kita memiliki kekuatan untuk menentukan bagaimana kita akan meresponsnya.

[Jasmin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Many positive values can be taken from this book in various aspects. Maybe some advice might sound a bit cliche, to which one might respond, "Okay, but I already know it,” but again, there is nothing wrong with enforcing positive values from time to time. I, for once, love to be reminded of it, as this advice helps me progress. They motivate and inspire me to do more in a better way.
As a stroke survivor myself, I do resonate with the author’s feelings and disappointment once she was diagnosed with cancer. Like her, my world has changed, and I must learn how to adapt to my sickness.
However, as I was listening to the audio version, I would say that I was not so keen on some of the languages used in it. They sounded a bit rude to me, but again, this is just my personal opinion. The author and I do not come from the same culture; hence, what is normal for her might not be customary for me.

[Exclusively_Bookish · Rating 5 out of 5]

📚 I really enjoyed this book. This was an inspiring, funny and down to earth book written by Briony Benjamin.
📚 In this book Briony talks about her experience with cancer, and talks about the lessons she learnt and tips and tricks to help you get through a tough time
📚 This was an interactive book, you could highlight or write things you wanted to do and offered simple ways to deal with things or somethings to do in your every day life
📚 This book is not just for those that are current going or been through cancer but it’s also for those that suffer from chronic illness. As someone that suffers from chronic illness I wish I had some of these tips and tricks when first going through
📚 Overall, this was an amazingly inspiring book. I highly recommend!

[trammartin · Rating 3 out of 5]

In times like these, I find comfort in the reminders from this book that emphasizes the importance of acceptance, asking for help, and leaning on people when needed. It encourages me to be more grateful and to cherish even the smallest moments of joy. Although some may consider it cliché, I find it helpful as it encourages me to take things one step at a time. These reminders are especially meaningful to me during this difficult time, and I am hopeful that I will be able to overcome it.

[Jana · Rating 5 out of 5]

Briony Benjamin hat ein virales Video über ihren Lymphdrüsenkrebs gemacht und nun ihre Erfahrung mit schwierigen Lebenssituationen in diesem Buch zusammengefasst.
Ich habe das Buch zum Geburtstags geschenkt bekommen. Es ist wunderschön aufgemacht und auch, wenn mir vieles schon bekannt war, habe ich doch einige Stellen markiert, weil sie schön oder lustig oder inspirierend waren. Ein schönes Geschenk, was mir sehr gefallen hat.
4,5 Sterne

[Alisha Henderson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Uplifting read for any young person going through a hard time, with specific emphasis on young people with cancer. Briony, a cancer survivor herself wrote this guide as what she wished she knew going into it. A very easy, practical book (I’m already viewing my journey with positivity so I don’t know I took as much away), but I’m the throws of diagnosis when things are pear shaped, this would give you great ideas to improve your mental health through your treatment and beyond. Would recommend!

[Caitlin Hay · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 stars!

I really struggle with self-help books as I always feel like i'm reading the obvious and unfortunately, reading this book felt like that. I may have just picked it up in the wrong time of my life where the sentiment doesn't really apply. Although I am inspired by Briony's story and her courage, I didn't feel like I took much from this.

[Marlee Grace · Rating 5 out of 5]

Past Marlee bought this in covid. Seemed relevant. Never got around to reading it.

Been having a shit time and decided to stop what I was reading and pick up this book made it a bit less shit. Smashed it in a couple of days in between naps 💤 Past Marlee once again hits a winner.

Buy it and save it for a rainy day. You'll thank me.

[Rhianne Crook · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some good take aways but nothing ground breaking.

This book tried to be too many things, part memoir and part self help. I think I would have preferred the book to be more of a memoir and have the important truths roll out organically. I may have rolled my eyes every time I heard the phrase "ninja tip."

[Annette · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nothing new but pulls together a wide range of useful insights and resources in one place using a cheerful, down-to-earth and compassionate style. The audio book is good for when you're too tired to read, or to listen to while engaging in active rest, like stretching exercises or gentle walking in the park or sitting in the sunshine.

[Kara Gifford · Rating 4 out of 5]

Anyone going through a hard time, whether it be medical, emotional etc, please read this book. If you know a person who is going through something, READ THIS BOOK! This has been a massive eye opener for me and how I live with my chronic health conditions.

[Chantal · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a must read book for everyone, whether you are going through a tough time or not. No matter what or where you are in your life journey, I think a reminder to make the most of your life, enjoy, be happy. So inspiring and motivating. Thank you.

[Juliana · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some good/interesting parts but too upbeat happy clappy for me. (I'm logic driven not emotionally driven). Will work for those who need emotionally referenced advice to power through horrendous circumstances.

[Jeanette · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really great advice done in a practical and light-hearted way. The later chapters have advice more suited to a health challenge and not as applicable to all types of grief. The optimism mixed with the reality was refreshing and the advice on what not to say was absolutely spot on.

[jess · Rating 4 out of 5]

The circumstances in which I came to find this book are not great. I wish I had no reason to read it. Nevertheless I am grateful it exists. It helped me feel understood and seen during a time I was absolutely terrified and alone.

[Maddison Long · Rating 2 out of 5]

DNF. I really enjoyed this at the start. I understand this book would have been a way for the author to unpack their recovery of cancer but I just felt every page was comparing other people’s struggles to theirs and it was just too hard for me to get through after half way