It Wasn't Supposed to be Like This: Over 100 Ideas to Manage the Loneliness, Sadness, and Guilt of Postpartum Depression

by Laurie Varga

For years I was lost in the fog of postpartum depression and anxiety. I thought I was a horrible mother and that my son would be better off without me. Postpartum depression (PPD) is hard to talk about and even harder to describe. You may feel like an outsider when you’re with other mothers who don’t share your feelings of worthlessness, loneliness, depression and shame. You might have a hard time explaining how you feel to your partner or friends, and you may have scary thoughts that frighten you — thoughts you may not even want to admit to someone you trust. When the joy and sense of bonding with your new child just aren’t there, it’s easy to believe you’re not getting it or not doing it right. When you can’t bring yourself to brush your teeth or take a shower, it can lead you to feel like a failure not only to yourself but to this fragile new person you’ve brought into the world. Written by a mother who struggled with PPD and overcame it, the 100+ practical ideas in this book are all real-life tips and strategies to help you manage negative thoughts and anxiety, improve your mood, help you through the dark days of postpartum depression. With short, uplifting chapters, it’s designed to be read in any order that works for you. No rules, no judgment. Just understanding and compassionate support. Even if you’re feeling terrible about feeling terrible, you are not alone, and we can get through this together.

148 pages, Kindle Edition

Published April 13, 2021

About the author

Laurie is a designer, a word lover and a professional writer who has managed to survive many bitter, Canadian winters, most likely due to copious amounts of tea and coffee consumption. She is also a Scorpio which explains a few things about her debut novel, Like a Bird.

Heavily influenced by realism and contemporary culture, Laurie is fascinated by the intersection of sex and psychology - two themes that feature prominently in her writing.

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Reviews

[Kate Bramblett · Rating 5 out of 5]

An amusing and beautiful take on postpartum depression with a great mix of deep thoughts and no shit I should know to do that but my mom brain forgots. A breathe of fresh air amongst a heavy topic.

[Hannah Melendy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I like that it was written out in bite-size pieces so I could read as little as just one sec question at a time, depending on how much time I had at the moment.

I personally do not have any kids, but I do deal with depression and self-doubt. This author presented a lot of ideas, and I like that it was written out as just that: ideas, not trying to tell me what I should do or what should work for me.

[Dana · Rating 5 out of 5]

it’s really helped

I love how it’s not a book on you have to do this to get over pd. But how it’s a here’s suggestion on something that might help you. For me some of the ideas 100%helped others I skipped over they weren’t for me. With this being short chapter or points it was easy to read late at night while nursing my baby.

[Courtney · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderfully written, good for almost any age. I, personally, read aloud and gained from the experience. I would more than likely read it again in the future.
Definitely recommend.