This is one of those novels that promises to stay with you for a very long time, and (Re) reading Cold Sands is a uniquely bittersweet journey. It's been almost two years since I first read this, and upon remembering this underrated gem of a masterpiece; there is still this inexplicably endless hollow chasm inside my chest. Almost simultaneously, it's as if I've continuously been stabbed in the heart, and this utterly heart-wrenching and tormenting agony has left behind this melancholic bruising ache...
But by all means; please don't let this deter you from experiencing this beautiful poignant story of love, connection, sacrifices, ambitions, destiny's wicked control and the agonizing question of wondering over all the "what-ifs".
I truly cannot do this novel justice by attempting to put into words the heartrending, surreal and insurmountable emotions I went through while reading this–it was an absolutely unforgettable experience !
I can only applaud Cold Sands as the embodiment of the perfect tragedy. A tale of two souls from wholly disparate backgrounds, world-views and experiences–meet and find solace in one another. Where a proud and determined human refuses to bend, and in the end can only break. But the fickle wheel of fate has a mind of it's own, and listens not to the despairing devastating wails of man.
1) Story
Han Xin is an idle young nobleman pressed into the military by his corrupt nation, despite dreaming of nothing other than living a free life. He ends up captured by the enemy, where he remains proud and unbroken despite his seemingly lazy nature. This gains him the admiration, trust, and eventually the affection of the ruthless ambitious enemy prince Murong Yu. Out of their mutual love, Murong Yu lets him go to live that free life he always desired. Yet at this seemingly happy ending, a shocking revelation shatters everything Han Xin ever knew about himself, and he is dragged into the clutches of destiny's ruthless unceasing machinations.
The beginning of the story is an archetypal example of my favourite "enemies-to-lovers" trope and dynamic. The bickering sexual tension between Han Xin and Murong Yu is so much fun to read, especially with the hilarious levels of crude swearing coming from Han Xin's free-spirited mouth.
Then at the halfway point of the novel the story takes a drastic turn into serious court drama, palace intrigue and politics, as Han Xin's personality is suddenly forced to be warped and changed like steel forged in fire.
Finally, yes, the two main characters of Cold Sands do meet what can only be called a truly unhappy fate. The ending was absolutely flawless in that it even had the tiny glimmer of hope just to add to that depressing realism~
This is the essence of a perfect tragedy: if Han Xin and Murong Yu had the chance to do everything over, they still wouldn't have changed a thing and taken the same decisions.
2) Characters
Our main character Han Xin is absolutely the star of this novel. It's both really fascinating and really depressing to see him evolve from a carefree, lazy, and hilariously mouthy/sarcastic youth... into a cold cunning ruthless emperor who must personally take the responsibility of an entire nation on his shoulders.
On one hand, he gains a sense of purpose and the ability to make a hugely positive difference in the lives of countless people. But at what cost, at what terrible cost ?!
In the end, he's lost everything–his friends, his freedom, his love, his very self.
On the other hand, the main love interest Murong Yu is wonderfully written as Han Xin's exact counterpart. Where Han Xin grows to deny his own humanity, Murong Yu develops in the opposite direction. He starts off as an inhuman conquering prince, but grows to acknowledge his own humanity through his love for Han Xin despite being aware and knowing how it will become his glaring weakness. Still, in the end, he cannot abandon his ambition and thirst for power, and it costs him his last chance to be truly together with Han Xin.
Besides these two amazing main characters, the side characters of Cold Sands also fit the story extremely well. Every single one represents and develops the themes of the main story: Han Xin's childhood friends that he must cut ties with, the crueler subordinate generals below Murong Yu, the corrupt old order of Han Xin's nation that he must root out. Special shout-outs to the love rival of the story, the wonderfully written and woeful Heng Ziyu.
Overall :
I can only hope that in their next life, Han Xin and Murong Yu can live free of all these burdens and worries, and finally be happy together.
I'll leave you all with this poem, which I think captures the bittersweet ending of Cold Sands perfectly.
Rima XLI by Gustavo Adolfo Bécquer (Rough translation)
You were the hurricane, and I the tall tower which challenged its power: You had to either smash me or knock me down!
It could not be!
You were the ocean, and I the firm stone which awaited your waves: You had to break upon me or tear me down!
It could not be!
You beautiful, and I proud: accustomed one to crush, the other not to yield; The path narrows, the inevitable impact...
It could not be!