Terms of Service: The Real Cost of Social Media

by Chris Martin

Do we use social media, or are we being used by it?

Social media is brilliant and obscene. It sharpens the mind and dulls it. It brings nations together and tears them apart. It perpetuates, reveals, and repairs injustice. It is an untamed beast upon which we can only hope to ride, but never quite corral.
What is it doing to us?

In Terms of Service , Chris Martin brings readers his years of expertise and experience from building online brands, coaching authors and speakers about social media use, and thinking theologically about the effects of social media. As you read this book, you  

Genres: Nonfiction, Christian, Technology, Social Media, Christian Living, Christian Non Fiction

224 pages, Paperback

Published February 1, 2022

About the author

Chris Martin is a content marketing editor at Moody Publishers and a social media, marketing, and communications consultant. He writes regularly in his newsletter, Terms of Service, and just published a book by the same name with B&H Publishing. Chris lives outside Nashville, Tennessee with his wife, Susie, their daughter, Magnolia, and their dog, Rizzo.

Reviews

[Addison Dixon · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book opened my eyes to the truth behind the concept of social media. No, there's nothing wrong with posting . . . but what are you posting? How often? Does it make you feel good to post a lot--if you do? Do you feel stressed after being on the social internet/social media (or even while on it)? Especially following a lengthy amount of time scrolling/posting, or whatever? This book addresses these issues and more.

Thanks partly to this book, I decided to set a schedule for myself when it came to being on, say, Instagram and Facebook. Including time spent on my phone. Man, let me tell you--I feel so much better!
I understand now the intentions behind the idea of algorithms. The author addresses some rather disturbing statistics and facts. Now, this book isn't meant to convince anyone to delete their social media accounts by any means. It is only meant to have you realize that "the waters are toxic." You have to be careful about what you post or say. It is kept in a record book (so to speak).

I recommend this book for anyone and everyone, whether or not you're on social media or use the internet. It's important and a great reference.

[Kelly Needham · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everyone should read this book. Informative and helpful and sobering.

[William · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must-read for everyone who uses social media.

[Leann · Rating 4 out of 5]

A practical book that lays out the abuses of social media and how to combat it. This book hits the heart of why we are all so "addicted" to this media. Seek better things... Highly recommend this one if you are struggling with whether to let it go or not.

[Justin Collins · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everyone should read this.

[Joseph Rizzo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Chris Martin contributes a thought provoking and helpful volume on the topic of social media and its dangers. He is a Christian, and includes some Christian thought and bible verses in it, but the book is aimed at all audiences, with a few areas focusing on christian understanding of these things. Martin helps to bring attention to the immense dangers that come with social media use, dangers that most of the world grossly underestimates. He warns that while the services are mostly free, they come with a heavy and often unseen cost. This is the primary thesis of the book, what is the cost of social media use. What is it doing to us?

It is changing the way we think and feel. It is manipulating us. It is robbing us of time, and offering the digital world as a bright and shiny, but very poor substitute for the deep and real. It causes us to be imbalanced in what is considered valuable. The social internet operates in an economy of attention, the we are the currency. How much of our time can they get us to spend on their sites? It is convincing a generation and world that affirmation and attention are the most important things to pursue, over and above truth. Because conflict and divisiveness are the things that drive the highest digital engagement, controversial content is prioritized as the ones that are seen most often. It is causing us to be angry and divided. It is affecting mental health, causing spikes in depression, anxiety, and self harm. It is a political toxin.

The church is not left unscathed. Social media brings its divisiveness to the church and damages the body of Christ.

With scriptural calls towards unity in Christ and to be slow to anger, social media delivers the opposite. We are responsible for our own use of it, but we are not the only ones contributing to this reality. The technology has been engineered to be so. It is addictive, it is like a drug, it delivers chemical changes in the brain to be addictive, and can powerfully change our minds, moods, and wellbeing in our daily lives. We have the power to take back control and be intentional in our use of it, or in deciding to limit or not use it. But we have to be aware of it. "Terms of Service" is a helpful entry in helping us be aware of it.

Martin touches on all of these things. Some of the limitations in the book are its length and that it can sometimes only touch on these just on the surface. He references a few other books on the subject that are worth reading. I'd especially recommend "The Shallows" by Nicholas Carr, and "Irresistable" by Adam Alter. While not referenced by Martin, for further reading, take a look at some of the writings of Sherry Turkle, especially "Reclaiming Conversation".

[Meredith Ball · Rating 5 out of 5]

There’s nothing super novel about this book, but it’s well-said, concise & a good reminder. It starts with interesting info on the history & economics of social media, moves into some of the emotional & spiritual dangers for us as users & ends with practical discipleship suggestions. I’m giving 5 stars because I’m leaving with more conviction to be intentional about social media usage & to protect my mind & heart. I think this could be a really good book to read with teens or college age kids.

[John · Rating 3 out of 5]

Wanted to like this one more, but it's much more of an introduction to the idea that social media (or the social internet, as Martin terms it) can be an unhealthy place... and just broad enough to never dive into anything really new. Books like The Shallows and You Are What You Love, both referenced here, are more comprehensive/illuminating approaches to the topic for anyone who isn't *completely* new to the idea, but this could be a good place for Christians in particular to start (thinking my mom might be more of Martin's audience than I was). Bonus star for the great cover, though, which generated plenty of interest in the topic when I read this in public.

[Josh Sieders · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found Chris Martin a year or so ago and have been eagerly following his weekly substack posts ever since. He has also pointed me to others that are helping me understand web3, the metaverse, crypto, the creator economy and on and on. It makes me feel so old, but it has been good to get a glimpse at how we are hurdling towards becoming a digital species.

Chris Martin, a former social media manager, a Christian and a Neil Postman acolyte helps us think through what it all means. He is primarily concerned about the "social internet" which he differentiates from specific social media sites like facebook, twitter, etc. His point is that almost all of the internet is social, and so he speaks of it in a macro and micro way.

His lens is Christian, but he speaks winsomely to a broader audience. Like him, I don't believe the solution is abstinence - getting offline completely. This genie is not going back in the bottle. Instead, the only hope we have of taming this tiger is education. We need to zoom out and look at the digital waters in which we swim. We need to realize that the media we consume is shaping us, more than we are shaping it. And when we do that, we need to think about, and be intentional about, how we want to act online, while prioritizing offline relationships and activities.

All in all, this is a great book and very accessible to a wide range of ages. Since I have been reading in this space for a couple of years, I found it a bit on the simpler side, more of a summary of what he's been writing for some time. And yet, there were a few really great chapters with newer material (for me) and a steady, balanced, and thoughtful look at how everyone, and christians in particular, should think about and behave online.

[Phil · Rating 2 out of 5]

If you are a digital native, this might be a helpful read. I have known the world before the internet and before the Social Internet, so for me a lot of the assumptions in this book felt really foreign.

Example: chapter 4 is titled "We believe attention assigns value" and doubles down on it as taken for granted. This is, I would say, the central argument of the book. But there are hosts of folks who long to be behind the scenes, who cringe at receiving public credit, and who still struggle with the social internet.

A lot of insights presented are sort of old hat, not really insights. I'm glad the author sees them, but I found myself thinking, so what? See again chapter 4's title, and do a quick search on the term "15 minutes of fame." That's what viral means, though the internet has no doubt enhanced it significantly.

The author references some excellent research throughout, and I was hoping the book would add some new wisdom or application to it.

If you're reading this book to understand HOW the social internet really works, I might recommend the movie The Social Dilemma.

[Sarah Gump · Rating 5 out of 5]

“What if we spent less time watching others live their lives and spent time more time living our own?”

The book was specifically written to a broad audience with little nuggets of Christianity added in.

Martin proposes the following disciplines to combat how social media is forming us: study history, admire creation, value silence, pursue humility, establish accountability, and build friendships.

[Derek Plegge · Rating 5 out of 5]

Helpful read in understanding how social media is changing us for the worse…

[Sean Perron · Rating 4 out of 5]

Helpful. Thought provoking.

[Bryce Greenwood · Rating 4 out of 5]

Enjoyed this book as it helps parents, leaders and consumers understand the conflict of interests when using digital media, the dangers, and understanding now that "the cat is out of the bag" we need to learn and teach how to responsibly use and distribute digital media.

[Aszerina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Eye opening and challenging, a great book! A must read for those thinking through Social Media's impact on us individually and collectively.

[Trevor Atwood]

If you are looking for one book to summarize the volumes of good research on the social internet and it’s effects into understandable and applicable ideas- this is the one.

I’ve read A LOT on this subject- so it’s very helpful to have a book that covers the social internet from explanations to applications with just enough depth to be helpful and not overwhelm. This is a great book for parents and teens to read together in preparation for entrance into the social internet world

Definitely worth your time.

[Amaia · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars. This book was a great overview of the effects of social media. It helped me think about how I use and interact on social media. It held good reminders about being wise and discerning while also being humble and open to correction, which are good reminders for all of life. Would highly recommend it if you are on social media.

[Benjamin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bien pour montrer les dangers des réseaux sociaux et la manière dont ils nous changent. Léger sur le contenu "chrétien" et la manière d'y faire face.

[Michaeleen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Full of interesting information regarding social media and how we use it, or rather how it uses us!

[Fit For Faith 〣 Your Christian Ministry. · Rating 3 out of 5]

A great book from a secular perspective, but a rather poor book from a spiritual perspective.

PROS

+ Excellent analysis of the beginnings of the Internet and the Social Internet.

+ Great reflections on what it has become and what we need to be aware of.

+ One core finding is that the Social Internet is designed to be divisive and to polarize in content, in order to attract more interactions.

+ Good commentary on consp**acies.

CONS

- In all the book there is not even the mention of television. I now constantly see books on Social Media, but little to no reflection on television, which is still a predominant time killer and factor for social manipulation. The book should have reflected on the overlap between both and shed light on the different dynamics.

- The book is poor in regards to the faith. A few times the term 'Christian' is mentioned, and I remember only one Bible verse in all the book. There is close to zero reflection on the biblical view of things. It was sad to see the author being bold on most things, except on Christianity where he was very timid.

- Endorsement of the highly problematic teacher Rick Warren (Strong proponent of ecumenism; creator of the Purpose Driven Life Catholics program; his favorite TV channel is EWTN (Catholic TV) and the 'Chaplet of Divine Mercy'; his mentor was Billy Graham; Contemplative Spirituality; P.E.A.C.E. plan with Ken Blanchard (book 'The Secret'); liberal mantra of 'Juge Not'; promotion of Message bible; Enneagram teachings ...)

[Tom Marshall · Rating 4 out of 5]

Terms of Service by Chris Martin

The subtitle of Chris Martin’s Terms of Service is “The Real Cost of Social Media.” A lot of people know there’s something dark about social media—that it’s doing something to us. Yet, how many of us have really taken the time to determine what social media and that seemingly harmless habit is truly costing us in productivity, relationships, and personal mental health? In Terms of Service, Martin helps us figure out the true cost.

Part of the Culture
The social internet, as Martin calls it, is with us to stay for the foreseeable future. It has ingrained itself as part of human culture. Martin says that even if we delete all of our social media accounts, we’d still hear about social media and what’s happening on it. He’s right.

I was recently in a week long training for my job, and met several people who have never had social media accounts. However, that fact itself brought up social media and its place in our culture. Conversation often turned to “I saw this thing on Facebook that said…” There’s no escaping it, but we can better understand it. Like harmful emotions, if we can label what it’s doing to us, perhaps we can limit the damage.

In the Beginning
Before diving into what social media is doing to us, Martin gives a brief history of the social internet and social media, which I found fascinating. Martin writes, “Man made social media to serve man, but man has come to serve social media.” How did that happen? Terms of Service concisely shows how social media evolved into a billion dollar machine.

Martin writes:

The social internet is designed with addiction in mind. The systems are designed to enslave our eyes. We’ve been set up. We’re being played.

Martin guides us through his personal experiences and the research today to clearly show how we are being experimented on in order to make billions for social media companies and advertisers. The most interesting part of it is he gives us the designers and programmers admitting to this in their own words.

For example, Sean Parker the first president of Facebook stated in an interview with Axios stated:

It’s a social validation feedback loop…exactly the kind of thing that a hacker like myself would come up with, because you’re exploiting a vulnerability in human psychology. The inventors, creators—it’s me, it’s Mark Zuckerberg, it’s Kevin System on Instagram, it’a all of these people—understood this consciously. And we did it anyway.

You may say, “I never gave anyone permission to experiment on me. They can’t do that!” Ah, well that’s where the Terms of Service come in. You know, those pesky things no one reads when they download an app or sign up for a service? We’ve all agreed to it.

Hit Me One More Time
Martin digs into the effects of social media use, not just on an individual basis but on society as a whole. He looks at everything. How does social media affect teenagers by making them feel like they have to be constantly performing for their phones? How does it affect political polarization? How does it affect the spread of information and disinformation?

Terms of Service
Thankfully, Martin gives some suggestions on how we can protect ourselves and manage the social internet, rather than have it manage us. I was honestly surprised at his suggestions. They aren’t the usual “delete your accounts” or “lock your phone away.”

My only criticism with the book is that there were some repetitive phrases and ideas starting in the middle and going to the end. I did read an advanced copy, so that may have been cleaned up in final editing. Overall, I found Terms of Service eye-opening and helpful. I plan to have my teenagers read it.

[Josh Olds · Rating 5 out of 5]

Social media (and the Internet at large) has pushed human behaviors to the extreme while making more people more aware of those behaviors. It’s easier than ever to share information (and lies), to make friends (and enemies), to build others up (and tear them down). It is a tool for good and evil. It makes our lives easier and more difficult. It wields an incredible amount of power. And it come about so quickly and morphed into this ubiquitous thing before most of us could really think about what it was doing to us. In Terms of Service, Chris Martin—content marketing editor for Moody Publishers and a social media consultant—takes readers through a history of social media, how it shapes us, and how we can use it for human flourishing.

Terms of Service is divided into three parts. The first deals with an introduction and history of the social internet—not just social media but all forms of socializing that occurs on an Internet platform. I found this to be the most interesting part of the book, as most of the foundations for this were being laid before my time or as I was coming of age.

The second part, the meat of the book, follows five ways the social internet shapes us:

• We believe attention assigns value.
• We trade our privacy for expression.
• We pursue affirmation instead of truth.
• We demonize people we dislike.
• We destroy people we demonize.

All of these are rather simplistic generalizations, of course, but I think any of us who have engaged online for any length of time have seen all five of these things and probably have found ourselves in many, if not all, of them. These are all things that we know, but Terms of Service provides us the impetus to actually take them seriously. Privacy, for example. We all know that Facebook knows everything about us. We’ve willingly handed over that information. What we may not realize is how deep that knowledge goes and how social media giants manipulate us and our online experiences to help them profit. Martin lays it all out in a brief, easy-to-understand way while offering simple, reasonable solutions to maintain some level of privacy.

The third part of the book discusses how to use the social internet for flourishing. I’m someone who grew up as the social internet was exploding. I met my wife in a web forum. My closest friends are people I met online. I now live in a different country than where I grew up and maintain relationships with friends and family using social media. Even this review is a form of social media. Personally and professionally, the social internet has enriched my life. Terms of Service makes readers aware of the social internet’s pitfalls but also is sure to tell us about how it makes us better and we can do to mitigate the negative tendencies of social media.

Terms of Service is perhaps especially useful for older audiences who joined social media after it became clear that it was now part of functioning in the Internet age and younger audiences who are digital natives and have never thought critically about the influence of the social internet because it’s always been with them. But regardless of your age, there’s something within these pages for you even if it’s only a reminder that corporations aren’t your friends and there’s real-life humans behind the screens.

[Jessi · Rating 3 out of 5]

Social Internet. It’s everywhere. What do we do with it?

This book isn't bad; I'm just not the target audience for it. I tried to think of who would be the target audience for this book. I think it’s a childless adult in their 30s or 40s who uses Facebook and maybe logs onto Twitter every now and then to passively read the latest scandal in the subject of their interest. It’s not necessarily written to teens who are digital natives or older people who don’t ever use social media.

However, I generally agree with all of Martin’s points. The book is divided into three sections: How we got here, how the internet shapes us, and where we should go from here. I found the first part most interesting, as everything else has been said by others. Unfortunately, this book is a broad primer, but it suffers from being rather shallow. It doesn’t cover anything that hasn’t been covered before.

For anyone looking for a deeper dive into the detrimental effects of social media, I’d recommend Jonathan Haidt’s work (who is cited by Martins frequently).

[Matthew Inui · Rating 2 out of 5]

While nothing in this book was factually wrong per se, I just didn't find Martin's writing especially persuasive. Half of the information felt like the same old arguments against social media that we are exposed to on a near-daily basis, in which case I really did not need to read this book. However, the other half of the book, ironically, felt like empty sensationalism. Some of the evidence he cites I did not believe supported the gravity of his conclusions, and certain sections felt more like fear mongering than anything. Meanwhile, Christian doctrine really takes a back seat until Part 3, almost like an afterthought. If you truly don't know anything about social media, this could be a helpful book, but it really doesn't go much deeper than that.

In the end, I understand that my opinions may just be the impressions of a hopeless screenager too addicted to his phone to see the extent of the dangers that social media poses, but if any book is going to change my mind, I don't think it's this one.

[Caitlyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have been reading Chris Martin's blog for a while and have been planning on reading this book practically since I knew it existed. Like his blog, this book is insightful, clear, and realistic. I believe anyone can read this book, no matter what your worldview, and come away with more knowledge and wisdom about social media.

As someone born in the early 2000's I have been a witness and participated in much of the social internet and its connected products. I have loved what the internet can do but slowly realized its negatives as well. To anyone who has even a slight connection with the internet, read this book! It is truly a positive book about something that can be very negative.

[Tracey · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book gave a really good overview of the history of social media, and the internet in general. However, the book primarily focused on the dangers of social media - it wouldn't surprise anyone to know that we are our worst selves on social media. The book also offers some suggestions on how we should respond to what we've learned. (The author is Christian, however the advice is applicable to all). This book was a really good starting place for those who haven't read much on the topic and it's definitely a topic people need to explore more fully.

[Jonathan · Rating 4 out of 5]

In this book Martin employs his own breadth of knowledge and experience to give a concrete cultural and technological analysis of the social internet. He gives very clear and concrete examples of the social internet's history and development, and is helpfully honest about its malignant tendencies. To balance out the critique, Martin helps us answer the question "how do we live well with the social internet?" by giving clear practical suggestions.

[James · Rating 4 out of 5]

While I am not religious, this book does provide a good general overview of the problems social media poses in society and provides methods of better conducting ourselves while engaging with the platforms. The lessons here are applicable across a wide ranges of belief systems and political views.

Worth a read.

[Paul Pompa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent

Very insightful look at (largely) the negative effects of social media. It is not neutral at baseline since its creators are not neutral. We should play very close attention to if and how it is affecting us.

[M.A. · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's OK - not the best book on the topic, but not the worst. A little fluffy in its reasoning and recommendations - but it still comes down on the right conclusions...too much internet is bad for you.