One of Them

by Musa Okwonga

Musa Okwonga – a young Black man who grew up in a predominantly working-class town – was not your typical Eton College student.

The experience moulded him, challenged him… and made him wonder why a place that was so good for him also seems to contribute to the harm being done to the UK. The more he searched, the more evident the connection became between one of Britain’s most prestigious institutions and the genesis of Brexit, and between his home town in the suburbs of Greater London and the rise of the far right.

Woven throughout this deeply personal and unflinching memoir of Musa’s five years at Eton in the 1990s is a present-day narrative which engages with much wider questions about pressing social and political issues: privilege, the distribution of wealth, the rise of the far right in the UK, systemic racism, the ‘boys’ club’ of government and the power of the few to control the fate of the many. One of Them is both an intimate account and a timely exploration of race and class in modern Britain.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Biography, Audiobook, Politics, Biography Memoir, Autobiography

216 pages, Paperback

First published April 15, 2021

Reviews

[Namera [The Literary Invertebrate] · Rating 3 out of 5]

In the middle of a TERRIBLE reading slump currently, but I did manage to finish this a few days ago.

It's not long - just a couple of hundred pages about a black man who was a student at Eton in the 1990s, in the style of the older Nigger At Eton. (Note: this isn't like a deliberately racist title, it was picked by the author!!)

Okwonga isn't a good creative writer; the times he tries to describe people feel like reading particularly bad fanfiction. But he does have a couple of interesting anecdotes to relate about his time at school, even if the overall tone of the book is very depressing. He seems to have left with minimal friends, an overwhelming number of people he liked at Eton died young, and he ultimately decides not to attend his 20-year reunion partially because he feels embarrassed that he's not rich and successful. Man.

[Vid Calovski · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this to be a really powerful book. I'm not sure how else to describe it. I found it incredibly interesting and poignant considering what is going on currently in the UK. I really enjoyed the style of the writing and how it just carried on flowing. In many ways it felt like listening to someone just share their recollections of an incredibly interesting and yet difficult time. Well worth picking up and reading.

[Charlotte Clymer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I do a quick calculation and realise that I have to work four times as hard as the hardest-working white people I know to get the same as they do.

"One of Them" is a coming-of-age memoir about a Black young man from an immigrant family in Britain who shows extraordinary promise and becomes hellbent on attending Eton, perhaps the world's most famous prep school.

Among Eton's alumni are twenty British Prime Ministers, countless kings and princes from all over the world, and one Musa Okwonga, the writer of this excellent reflection on what Eton means: for him, his classmates, and the world.

Okwonga's structure is three large chapters with numerous bite-sized stories in each. Running through all of these is a persistent and fair commentary on class divides, white supremacy, queer identities, Britain's ugly past, and surprisingly, among it all, a genuine gratitude for the opportunity to have studied at Eton, even while coming to grips with its less-than-healthy role in society.

For a relatively short memoir, there's a lot to chew on. Not a page is wasted, and I found myself grateful for Okwonga's insistence on making difficult themes as digestible as possible.

I found myself particularly heartbroken over the enormous pressure Okwonga articulates here to succeed as the talented son of a Ugandan immigrant family, the ever-present drive to make his mother proud as she pours her income into his tuition--even after Eton offers a 50% scholarship.

What emerges from that internal conflict is a startling honesty about the rarified spaces in which the author has inhabited, so often stuck between two worlds and struggling to negotiate his place in both.

There is nothing performative here. At times, Okwonga seems to write with retrospective surprise at what he learns during his time at Eton. His observances are simply statements of fact, around which he garnishes their emotional toll.

Okwonga does well at Eton--at least "well" by Etonian standards--but more than 20 years removed from graduation and subsequent matriculation at Oxford, he constantly asks in various ways: what was it all for? Should Eton have this much influence? Is Eton a net good for society?

As an American, I lack a direct context for all the variables here, but so much of it rings true for our own classism and white supremacy.

There is a great bravery in writing this book. Okwonga, one of the more popular boys in his year at Eton, undoubtedly knows many of his classmates may read this and see themselves illustrated in sobering terms, albeit namelessly.

I pray they do.

[Susan Steed · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is such a powerful and important book. It is an Eton memoir. But it is not the book that I thought it would be, and is all the better for not being what I expected. It is a book that rejects any easy or simple categorisations of what Eton is. I expected it to be an exposure of the racism and prejudice of Eton, but instead, it is an account of his years there which does not seem to contain this. It is an account that has many kind people and an environment where you can learn and work hard. But gradually the book shows how much is hidden, how much is not said, and what happens when kind people say or do nothing. Reading this book helped me understand and articulate better the rise of fascism today.

[Kitty · Rating 5 out of 5]

see raamat oli minu meelest maailmast küll täiesti puudu - ühe Etonis õppinud mehe mälestused ja mõtisklused sel teemal, kuidas see kõik oli ja mida talle andis, aga ka laiemalt, kuidas see kool ja selle vilistlased me praegust maailma mõjutavad.

puudu oli see vast suures osas sellepärast, et insiderid eriti ei jaga oma Etoni-kogemust, see on osa... kooli kultuurist. aga Okwonga oli ses mõttes pigem outsider, et mustanahaline, Uganda sõjapõgenike perest keskklassi poiss, kes lihtsalt tahtis ka heasse kooli õppima saada ja kelle ema väärtustas haridust niivõrd, et suutis talle seda lubada (abiks ka 50% stipendium ja see, et tollal - Okwonga on praegu 42, seega käis koolis täpselt minuga samal ajal, 80-ndate teisel poolel ja 90ndatel - oli Etoni õppemaks kolm korda madalam kui praegu ja seega sai sellise taustaga õpilane seda endale lubada, enam ei saaks).

ja oligi hea kool, mingis osas teeb lausa kadedaks. Okwonga enda töövõime avaldab ka muljet (ta arvutas ühel hetkel välja, et iga ta koolipäev maksab ta emale 20 naela, ja otsustas selle raha eest viimase võtta - mõistan seda lähenemist:)), aga selgelt on sellele seltskonnale seal antud parimad õpetajad ja kõik maailma võimalused.

see pole tegelikult üldse väga pikk raamat ja jutt on üsna napp, pigem sellised... pildikesed. aga õudselt hästi kirjutatud ja annab väga hea sissevaate sellesse, kuidas privileeg töötab.

“No one here ever tells us out loud that we Etonians are natural leaders: that is what the architecture is for. In one of the rooms, where students gather now and then, I find the mounted bust of every boy who has gone on to be the leader of the country. My boarding houses look like government buildings.”

sinna juurde on see kõik väga diskreetne, ühegi koolikaaslase nime (k.a. "leaders of the country") ei nimetata, ise võid välja arvutada, kes on kes. samuti ei öelda kellegi ega millegi kohta halvasti. aegajalt on tunda autori... hämmingut ja/või sisekonflikti.

ja siis muidugi räägib see raamat ka ühe minu vanuse briti mustanahalise mehe elust ja üleskasvamisest ja sellest, kuidas ta rass ta elu on mõjutanud, ja kuigi selles pole mulle otseselt ühtegi uudist (loen piisavalt vasakpoolseid ajalehti), siis kurb ja mõtlemapanev on ikka. aga Okwonga ei unusta pea hetkekski lisada, et Eton oli ta turvapaik, kuhu rassism ei ulatanud. ta teadvustab oma privileegi igal sammul. ja minu meelest tunneb end selle tõttu ka süüdi. tunne, mis enamust ta koolikaaslasi küll ühelgi moel vaevavat ei paista.

"Shamelessness is the superpower of a certain section of the English upper classes. While so many other people in the country are hamstrung by the deference and social embarrassment they have been taught since birth, the upper classes calmly parade on through the street and boardrooms to claim the spoils. They don't learn shamelessness at Eton, but this is where they perfect it."

[Emma]

I really enjoyed reading this. I think the subtitle: “An Eton College Memoir” is a bit misrepresentative because it’s mostly about the author’s experience in transferring to a prep school, and then going to Eton and how going there affected his life after leaving school. Although I expected to learn more about Okwonga’s life when he was actually at Eton, I think the way he wrote the book was well done and it focused more on himself and his own experiences rather than on the school.

I also found it cool to read this after reading ”In the End, It Was All About Love” which is the author’s other book that was published this year. “In the End…” is a novel but it’s also auto fiction so there’s a lot of crossover between the two books.

I really like Okwonga’s writing style, it’s simple but it really draws you in and makes you feel connected to him. I’ll definitely read his future books (except probably not the ones about football).

[Noelia Alonso · Rating 3 out of 5]

RATING 3.5 STARS (7/10)

Very enlightening memoir. I enjoyed that Okwonga not only reflects on his time at Eton but also focuses on other aspects of his life while giving a great commentary on class. Because it is told in vignettes there were some moments where I felt like Okwonga finished some of his stories when there was still a lot of room to continue exploring but I really enjoyed his writing style.

[Charlott · Rating 4 out of 5]

When Musa Okwonga was eleven years old, the child of refugees from Uganda growing up in a suburban English town, he watched a documentary about the prestigious all-boys school Eton College and decided that is where he needed to go to. Some time in a prep school later, he actually makes it and spends the rest of his school time at Eton surrounded by a student body which mostly consisted of (white) boys from rich and affluent families – many of whom, of course, would go on to hold powerful positions/ make a lot more money. The alumni of the school also includes Boris Johnson and other people of his political ilk.

Musa turns to his time at Eton and asks how this school has shaped him and those around him and how the school might have contributed to the inhumane, racist, conservative politics dominating the UK in recent years especially (but of course also before). As a person who often looks quite harshly at her surroundings (and herself), I always admire Musa’s effort for kindness. This also makes this book so interesting for it allows you to understand what an educational environment stuffed with such resources as Eton can offer its students (which obviously makes you wish for more resources and care for all schools). But Musa’s reflections also lay open clearly how the entire setup of the school (from the architecture to school uniform to who gets access etc) never challenges the privileges many of its students arrive with and nurture their sense of entitlement.

“One of Them” though is not purely an analysis of power structures in Eton and the UK but first and foremost a tender, reflective memoir. Musa allows us to see the young eager boy with all his dreams as well as the middle-aged men with his self-doubt and insecurities. The book starts with an invitation to a Eton reunion and Musa’s thoughts on how he would compare his years after graduation to those of his fellow students. He writes: „My best years are ahead of me, I tell myself. They have to be.” There are many beautifully rendered vulnerable moments like that which make this an Eton college book and at the same time so much more.

[Prudence and the Crow · Rating 5 out of 5]

The precision of this book, it's completely exquisite to read. One sitting, mesmerised. So much poetry masquerading as neat prose, argh, I'm only sad I can't read this for the first time again, which, I'm aware, is an odd thing to say about someone's very personal memoir with which you have so little (but not quite nothing) in common. Wonderful, and will be sharing with pretty much everyone I know, one way or another. Do read this.

[Mandy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a compelling memoir. Beautifully written, insightful, measured and balanced, and a truly illuminating portrait of Eton, a school that holds an almost mythic status in Britain, a school for the most privileged and a stepping stone to power. It has produced 20 prime ministers, including 2 out of the last 3. There have been very few black pupils, but Musa Okwonga, who saw a documentary about the school when he was 11 and longed to attend, can surely be considered one of Eton’s success stories. He was an outsider, but found himself an insider and he thrived during his time there. This is the first detailed account of life at the school for a long time and is all the more welcome for that. It’s an affectionate account. He did encounter some racism but it tended to be casual rather than cruel, usually taking the form of ignorant muttered comments. Unforgivable, for sure, but Okwonga felt safer in school than out in the wider world, where he was actually more likely to encounter dangerous racism. Acutely observed, the book isn’t uncritical, and he questions whether the school produces the sort of leaders this country needs today. Eton instils confidence in its pupils but we are all too aware how confidence can become arrogance, and lead to a sense of entitlement. Okwonga doesn’t name names (which can be frustrating at times) but perhaps he doesn’t need to. The book is a nuanced and intelligent exploration of class, race and privilege and a real delight to read.

[Chris · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an interesting perspective on life at a top public school.
Okwonga, the son of Ugandan refugees, gained a place at Eton College after performing well at prep school. There were aspects he loved (the close bonds he formed, the nurturing quality of his education, the sport), and those he despised (the undercurrent of racism, the lack of empathy from some of the other boys, the vast gulf of the wealth divide). Throughout, there was one arching question: can privileged boys with no experience of hardship become effective leaders of 'ordinary' people with whom they have little in common?

The book is more a series of vignettes than chapters, and it describes aspects of Okwonga's life before, during, and after his time at Eton.
There are recurring themes: having to work harder than others because of his skin colour, the fear that he has let himself down with his life choices following education, wondering what people in the 'real world' think of him. But there are hints of redemption too, especially when he realises that he has ended up using artistic skills that others have suppressed in their quest for world domination.

[Diane Law]

Really insightful look into a British institution. Okwonga writes with clarity and precison and his self-observations and reflections are poignant.

[iina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow, Eton grosses me out even more than before...

Thank you Unbound for sending me an advance review copy of this book.

This was super insightful and interesting, especially for someone like me who is still perplexed by the British schooling system. The details, the obnoxious behaviour, and the sense that the people who go to Eton can get away with anything and everything in life is utterly terrifying, and Musa Okwonga does a great job of portraying this through the lens of being ‘one of them’.

The book is also really well written and draws you in from the first page. I only wish it was written in a more chronological order rather than jumping around between different times, but even this is more of a personal preference than a real flaw.

[stadtfisch · Rating 3 out of 5]

Overall I found this book interesting to read. However, the backcover text made it sound like Okwonga was himself from a working class family, when he's a middle class child that grew up in a predominantly working class area. That kind of false advertisement by omission is not the book's fault itself but I found it strange anyways. It also wasn't for me how it seemed quite anecdotal and like transcribed therapy session insight a lot of the time, with some repetition as well, and shying away from getting concrete. The questions it raises aren't bad, but something about it felt rather blue-eyed. Something felt funny about the way he talks about Eton boys protecting their own and then he basically just vagues all these influential people and tries to explain the inaction of the alleged good eggs with... I don't know what exactly. Cowardice or naivete? This narrative would've done better as a novel I think, with a little more show don't tell.

[whasa · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was an ok read and there are some pretty interesting stories in there but overall I wasn't super impressed. The writing is pretty honest and raw and to the point which made this an easy read. There is some interesting background into Eton college although I felt like it read as a random journey into the author's life as a POC. Maybe it was meant to be so?

[Tom Kelly · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a really enjoyable, easy but thought-provoking read.

The memoir of Musa’s time at Eton is beautifully written, but I found the opening and closing parts around him coming to terms with his upbringing the most rewarding sections to read. The book addresses the elephants in the room of extreme privilege and entitlement, but avoids ever coming across in a preachy or bitter manner.

I also really enjoyed the slightly self-indulgent and unnecessary in-depth descriptions of his school footballing accomplishments.

[Sophie Cappello · Rating 4 out of 5]

powerful essay collection— appreciated that he approached memory of such a formative place w nuance. eton is absolutely insane, and i say that having gone to hopkins. his essays made me think about how anti-Black racism in the UK intertwines with anti-immigration/refugee sentiment — and how that’s similar/different to how Black americans experience racism here. anyway I wish he hadn’t written in present tense, made it a little too sing-songy for me. thank you @caleb for lending it

[Laura · Rating 3 out of 5]

“I am not who I think I am, I am who I think you think I am,” is a quote rings especially true for this memoir.

If you’re looking for a blow-by-blow account of what daily life at Eton is like, this is not the one. I was a little disappointed about that, as some of the blurbs I read seemed to suggest this would be the case. It’s well written, and I enjoyed the style a great deal, but in terms of the content…you’re either getting a lot of musing about how others view him and how that makes him feel, or musings on the intersection of class and race in Britain of the kind you have probably read before or discerned for yourself after meeting, well, any posh Brit.

I’d give it a 3.5, but Goodreads doesn’t allow the half stars - so let’s just pretend I did!

[Luci · Rating 4 out of 5]

A short memoir about a middle class kid who decided he would like to attend Eton, some years ago. His mum made huge sacrifices so he could do so, but he points out that it simply wouldn't be possible now due to fee inflation at top public schools. Okwonga was born in 1979, so is now in his early 40s.

Okongwa was prompted to write the memoir by an invitation to a school reunion. After considering it seriously, he didn't attend. He recognises that he was lucky to have those opportunities, but... there are a lot of buts. He muses on his experiences of racism at school and outside, and his feelings that he hasn't had the glorious career since that lots of Eton kids would expect. It's fairly clear that he felt those things weren't for him. He's found out since school that some kids who seemed ok to his face were the loudest making racist jokes (not necessarily about him) outside it. Much wealthier economic minority families than his can still buy a top education but they can't buy being an insider.

I'm fascinated by education stories - I went to state school and my kids do, and I am not sorry that I can't afford private school - I want much better access at all levels for everyone. However, I like to read about how different types of education work, because I'm nosy and because it's helpful to understand what I'm involved in campaigning to change.

Thought provoking and a good read.



Note: I actually read this as a library ebook on my phone, which for this book was fine, but Goodreads in its wisdom has chosen to restrict access to adding various editions of a book or to adding details. I'm also in the UK, and there is a default to US covers and publication details. I don't know if there are any illustrations or other content in the actual paperback copy, and I can't tell you any of the things about the Kindle edition which I would like to know before deciding whether and at what price to buy it or whether I'd prefer to read in hardback/paperback. (Does it have page numbers or will I have to rely on location references? Are there any photos or pictures? Are there any pictures containing text which I won't be able to read? - I don't think this would be an issue in this one.)

[Fay Flude · Rating 4 out of 5]

What is it like to be educated in a privileged and elitist educational establishment such as Eton? Musa Okwonga was one of a few black students to attend the college in the Nineties and this personal memoir explores his experiences, where he acknowledges all the positive influences on him whilst struggling to come to terms with racism, inequalities and how our country is run by a few leading characters who effectively form a powerful institution or network of old boys.
The memoir combines his reflections with a social and political commentary of the UK today, how Brexit came to be and how many intelligent and wealthy individuals who could really make a difference to society, simply serve their own kind and protect their own interests at the expense of the masses.
It was a considered, well written, well informed memoir but at times I felt it just glanced very briefly over many things without going into much detail. The treatment he experiences in a largely white environment, and coming from a social background not usually associated with Eton, I found myself feeling Okwonga's struggles and conflicts, his need to be better than the very best and yet to never draw attention to himself.
It is sad, unfair but enlightening, and the parts dealing with the Far Right leave your blood running cold.
Not a genre or a subject I would usually delve into, I found this memoir interesting, insightful and informative. Ideal our society ain't, but if only...
Thanks to the author, publisher and the Pigeonhole team for giving me the opportunity to read this book.

[Matt Andrews · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this on the strength of a recommendation by Hillary Mantel so came to it without much context. I feel like there's the germ of a really good book in here but it never quite panned out.

Each chapter is really short, which makes it a quick and engaging read, but this also works against it as it never really feels like the narrative gets going or that there's any overarching concept. The narrator works his way through each school year at Eton, throws in a few anecdotes or wry observations about the British class system, and then we're done.

There's some genuinely insightful and challenging sections about casual racism and the rise of British neo-nazism, but the sections on Eton itself left me underwhelmed: I don't really feel like I know anything new about daily life there or how it feels to attend.

I also found the author's prose style a little grating at times: we read "my school" constantly in place of "Eton", the multiple references to Boris Johnson are simply "the current Prime Minister", and every other anecdote only says "my best friend" or similarly anonymous references. I understand this is a privacy thing in the case of some of the wealthy individuals featured, but it jars when reading and makes it harder to really feel connected to the narrative.

It didn't leave me wanting more, it left me wondering why the author didn't tell the rest of it.

[Siobhan · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of Them is a memoir about being a Black student at Eton in the 1990s, and also a reflection on how so much power is concentrated in people who went there. Musa Okwonga was a middle class boy from a small town in Greater London who dreamt of going to Eton, and this book charts his time there from dreams and prep school to leaving, and also looks at the impact of Eton on his own life and how it reflects wider society. Issues of race, sexuality, and privilege run through the memoir and it becomes clear that with hindsight, the distribution of power and the 'boys club' of Tory government aren't surprising to someone who went to Eton.

This is a highly readable memoir broken into short chapters that provide vignettes of Musa Okwonga's experiences, not only at Eton but also growing up in a town very unlike where most of his classmates lived but still seeming out of place there due to going to boarding school. The depiction of Eton probably won't surprise people who've heard about the people who've come out of it, but it was surprising to see a more balanced view at times that gives the positive experiences one man had, but also the negative (and those that were more negative with hindsight). There's a lot to think about in terms of class and race and why the people in government are set on increasing inequality, but through a personal lens with conflicted thoughts at times.

[Nicola Mackenzie-Smaller · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a well-written, thought provoking account of the author’s time at the most famous private boarding school in England. It explores themes of race, privilege and utter entitlement, but in a way which is never preachy. I found this really thought provoking in terms of how the author was able to attend as the son of a doctor (probably out of financial reach now) but also about in terms of the positive elements of the education he received, which seems to have been well-rounded and surprisingly kind.
I’m not a big fan of private education and this book does not help my thinking about the fact that we have a lot of leaders who have been very sheltered from real life. But Musa acknowledges the difficulties. A great read. Read with the Pigeonhole.

[Tom · Rating 5 out of 5]

I didn't expect to be as affected by this as I have been. Musa offers different lenses on a group who dominate how decisions are made in Britain and beyond. In typically succinct fashion each morsel is delivered in short snappy chapters which have the effect of acting as illuminating vignettes. Musa bares his soul with grace and eloquence and in doing so shines a light on how we have got to where we are today as a society.

[Madeeha Maqbool · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellent memoir and social commentary on the effects of such elite institutions on our political and economic structures.

[Oyindamola Sosanya · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed reading this memoir It was really poignant as the author reflects on life attending one of Britains most elitist institutions as the child of refugee immigrants from a mostly working class towns

I particularly loved how he was able to both appreciate the opportunity and privilege of getting an education that most people could only dream of while also understanding (while not totally condemning) the underlying reasons and environments that most of the people in govt were raised in which is so far removed from the realities of majority of the people they lead

He tackles themes of race and class in a very nuanced way. He looks back and questions whether this institution that gave him a world class education actually contributes to some of the gaping inequalities in modern Britain.

I really resonated with a lot of the questions he asks both himself and the reader around what it truly means to live in a society that more often than not seeks to demonise the “other”

The writing style was also quite simple with the chapters feeling like you were reading the authors thoughts through a page.

[Tamsin Seymour · Rating 5 out of 5]

So brilliant and so important. Should be required reading.

[Billy · Rating 3 out of 5]

very ok

[Chandru · Rating 4 out of 5]

Okwonga writes so descriptively, I would read his shopping lists

[Abigail · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars