Maiden to Mother

by Sarah Durham Wilson

An initiation into wholeness and power for any woman ready to live with authenticity, follow her own path, and feast on the richness of life

The bridge from Maiden to Mother has been broken. When the goddess culture was stolen and buried, so too were women’s rites of passage, intuitive femininity, and access to their full power.

Now we live in a patriarchal society that infantilizes women, idolizing youthful traits such as beauty and innocence. As many women desperately try to maintain these girlish qualities on the outside, they effectively remain girls on the inside, unable to mature into the Mother archetype.

With A Life of Her Own, Sarah Durham Wilson rebuilds the bridge that has broken, guiding women through a sacred, ancient, and crucial initiation into their full feminine power.

Becoming the Mother is every woman’s birthright—regardless of whether or not she raises children. “The world needs its strong Mothers,” Wilson writes. “Let’s gather ourselves and answer our own cries, for only then can we answer the cries of our world.”

Through personal stories, rituals, teachings, and practices, Wilson helps women of all ages heal the Mother Wound and dismantle their internalized patriarchy with its false, constricting standards for the feminine. Then, working with the Heroine’s Journey and legendary goddesses such as Innana and Freya, she guides women back to wholeness.

Explore the radical truth that midlife is not, as our culture proposes, where a woman’s power ends—but where it really begins—with A Life of Her Own.

Genres: Nonfiction, Feminism, Spirituality, Self Help, Womens, Psychology, Personal Development

216 pages, Hardcover

Published June 7, 2022

Reviews

[Steph · Rating 3 out of 5]

very interesting and healing-centered take on feminine archetypes and the wisdom that was lost when "goddess culture" was buried by the church.

these archetypes are really cool, and they correspond with the changing seasons. we shift from child to maiden to mother to crone. mother is the summer of life, according to wilson. when we embody the mother, we are centered, and find healing energy from within. the mother archetype does not necessarily correspond with being mother to a child; it is about maturity and wisdom.

i've done a little work with inner child healing, and this is kind of like a feminine-focused version of that concept. when you find your inner mother, you are empowered to heal the maiden wounds from the time you spent in the maiden phase of life. and once you have taken care of your inner maiden, you are also able to turn that nurturing energy outward, and be a mother to your community and our earth.

one of my favorite little nuggets from the book is about false stability. we live as if we're immortal and as if the planet is immortal, but of course both of these things are untrue. the maiden feels like she will live forever, and the mother knows she will not - and both of these are gifts. there is a valuable maturity that comes with acknowledging our aging and our mortality.

also, as someone who does not usually find resonance within conventional femininity, i was skeptical about some of the gendered components of the book. and thankfully wilson does acknowledge that the traditional masculine archetypical journeys are also damaged, and men need positive archetypes and healthy masculinity. but since our extremely gendered culture is so restrictive, i was hesitant to delve into an extremely gendered book like this one (even though the ancient feminine archetypes that wilson discusses are so far removed from our modern culture).

wilson also returns frequently to the legend of the goddess inanna, and this is when the book felt a little too "woo" for me. sure, inanna is an empowering figure, but i'm more interested in the psychology of these archetypes.

unfortunately i absolutely cannot recommend the audiobook. it's not narrated by the author, which is sort of strange for such a personal book. the narrator put a little too much dramatic flair into the narration, and i wasn't a fan.

i do appreciate all the exercises included at the end of the chapters. i'm not in the right place to complete them right now, but it seems like a great book to journal with. lots of possibilities for reflections.

one of my favorites: imagine yourself when you are in the crone phase, at age 88. try to live your best life and allow yourself to age with dignity and grace so you can someday become this beautiful and wise woman.

[Rebecca Shelton · Rating 4 out of 5]

She closed her eyes and imagined herself at the end of her days as deep in Crone as they come, and then took a deep breath and felt the beauty inside pulled it up and out, felt it rise, then she looked in the mirror and sighed, "Gosh, I couldn't be more beautiful if I tried.

THIS is the book I've been searching for.

A little background:

Two years ago I left an extremely patriarchal, high demand christian religion. Since then, I've desperately been seeking out the divine feminine in any way I can. But something had always felt to be missing. This book is what was missing!

Wilson gives instruction on how to heal your maiden wounds and access and live in the Mother. She teaches through stories, poems, meditations, journal prompts, and more. The clear cut path of working towards Mother is so appreciated. I will be purchasing this book when it's published and working through each of the prompts and assignments.

The only reason I took one star away is for the stories included about healing cancer through joy. I may just not be ready to accept that as a part of my own personal journey. Having come from a religion that promoted speaking to a god, it was easy to believe that if my prayers weren't being answered that it was my fault. I don't have room in my healing at the moment to believe fully in a being that is real and has the capability to heal physical wounds. I can very much believe in synchronicities and intuition, but the physical healing halted me a bit.

Overall, I'm truly looking forward to spending more time with this book when it is released!

Thank you to Netgalley for this ARC

[Sebastian · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a nonbinary person I went into reading this books without knowing what I would think about it, but let me tell you. This book has awoken so many thoughts and feelings inside of me that I had to take breaks between the chapters. The book is fillied with exercises and journal prompts to help you on your own journey and yes, I plan on doing them all.

Sarah Durham Wilson really brings you along on her own journey from her time as the maiden to her time as the mother as well as giving you examples from other women. Its a great book that I really wish that I could've read when I was younger and I will definetly make sure to give a copy to my sister once its published.

[Olga · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every woman going through dark times should read this. It has the power to transform you. I am so grateful that I read it. I followed the journaling prompts to deepen my self-reflection, which helped me a lot.
Some time ago I discovered that life pain has the quality of giving you wisdom and power. During painful times, you can choose to do emotional numbing or raise above adversity. The latter is the journey of the initiated. This book is a guide for a spiritual journey from the female lens and it is absolutely mind-blowing.

[Kate · Rating 1 out of 5]

I had a lot of issues with this book.
My first issue was the lack of consistency to the history of the Sumerian/Akkadian myth of Inanna. It was like the author manipulated its meaning for her own purpose. If you go and read the hymn itself- you see inanna in a completely different light as she was the one who was to blame for the death of Erishkigals husband in the first place (that is covered in the epic of Gilgamesh)
Also to assume the goddess falls into place in the ways the author depicts- it seems like appropriation of a long lost religion and culture to fit the purpose of her narrative for leading people through this path.
And I know Jung went and painted the picture of rebirth within this myth- and maybe there is some of that/ but looking at who inanna was she kinda sucked.
There is another goddess in Sumerian culture that is revered as the mother- not inanna
There is also the child arc type that seems to be skipped as you’d be child, maiden, mother, matriarch? But maybe that’s not that important.
The other side is how Every Single Issue in her personal story is blamed on the patriarchy… like why all the victimization. Srsly. Take responsibility for your decisions and quit blaming them on the patriarchy.

And that we as a culture seem to think it’s okay for women to blame shift like this/ and not see the problem.
There is an unhealthy patriarch at large-yes- but can we call it that/ and actually see when the patriarchy and matriarchy are healed and fully celebrated and celebrating each other- that’s the healing we seek??

I think this book is more like an early autobiography with hints of her personal feminist Wicca and archtype opinions but I wouldn’t necessarily go putting my faith in her practices because it seems she layered them onto a godess who wasn’t truly depicted as she made her seem.
There are better archtype books out there. Go find them.

[Isabelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received an ARC of this ebook by the publisher via Netgalley in an exchange for an honest review.

In the past year I've really delved into Jungian psychology and the concept of archetypes. Archetypes being universal concepts of patterns of behavior and personalities that we see repeat throughout time. These archetypes appear in stories, mythology, art, etc. across many different cultures and societies. Examples of archetypes include the maiden, mother, orphan, and the jester. During my deep dive in archetypes I've explored the archetypes of womanhood: the maiden, mother, and crone. (Note: the mother period doesn't automatically equate to motherhood. It symbolizes more the period in a woman's life where she's more centered and mature from her growth out of maidenhood.) And I also came to the realization that I might have some wounds regarding my maiden phase and that, as a woman in her early 30s, needed to turn my attention to my progress into the mother archetype.

It's well-known that society looks down upon aging (especially for women), and that we're programmed to try and stay as young looking as possible. So when I saw that a book was being released to explore the transition from maiden to mother, and provides techniques and rituals to explore this period, I was very excited. Durham Wilson provides a guide to this transitory period and uses the myth of the Sumerian goddess, Inanna, to illustrate this process.

I enjoyed reading about some of the techniques to ease the transition and advice on how to deal with trauma that was experienced in maidenhood. There were certain parts that I felt like were repetitive, but overall I enjoyed the knowledge that was imparted. There's a strong emphasis on fourth-wave feminism and self-empowerment. However, if you're not a fan of books that lean into the "woo", then this might not be for you. Overall I'd rated Maiden to Mother 3.5 stars rounded up.

[Julie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Archetypal psychology is always fascinating to me. This book is similar to other books that I've read about the archetype feminine and Mother wounds. What I really like about this one is how much emphasis the author places on societal structures that cause mother wounds, rather than laying the blame at the feet of the mother. One section that really spoke to me was when she discussed how marketing and media really keep us child-like. She explains that the patriarchal system benefits and therefore wants to keep us in the immature feminine and that as we resist and shun aging in our physical worlds then we are also resisting and shunning aging in our mental and emotional worlds as well. This is something I've been thinking about recently too, especially with the popularity of phrases like "adulting is so hard" and "I'm done adulting today." I do find it harder to soak in the message of books that talk about goddesses but I can see how it makes the idea of archetypes more accessible and less esoteric.

[Angy · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's rare that I enjoy a self-help, metaphysical book with many references to the author's life included inside, but I love how Sarah Durham Wilson talks about her experience. She does so in an empathetic way that does not sound self-inflating nor self-deprecating. She talks about experiences that other women and minorities can relate to at some point in their lifetimes, even if the same exact thing did not happen to them. I would most definitely read a full memoir from this author.

Another thing I appreciated were the thoughtful prompts and exercises at the end of each chapter. They're guided in a way that's deep to read and thought-provoking. The whole book discusses feminine maturation in a society that promotes an unattainable desire for youth, especially in women. Even someone who does not identify as female can certainly benefit from this book. She even addresses how flawed masculinity is in our culture, but does not blame individual men who have suffered from it, understanding that empathy is very important.

I wasn't a huge fan of whenever she brought the Inanna story into the chapters, though I respect Inanna as an empowering symbol and understand why Wilson did so. I also think that the book is too ambitious for what it is, and it would be very difficult for any maiden to transform into a motherly role simply after reading it, but I do appreciate her spreading the word that it's something that needs to happen.

[Jordan Arbelaez · Rating 1 out of 5]

I stopped reading Maiden to Mother on page 2. Why am I writing a review? I was compelled to share my feelings as both a mother AND a mental health professional with a doctorate in psychiatry (and specialization in women’s health)….. the early framing was enough to turn me off entirely. The author presents what could have been a deep and powerful exploration of feminine archetypes, but instead offers a disappointingly reductive perspective that echoes benign sexism of patriarchal society.

In one of the opening passages, she suggests that women who long to remain youthful on the outside are often “young on the inside,” implying a kind of spiritual immaturity. This framing struck me as intellectually shallow and lacking cultural awareness. It blames individual women for not “maturing” rather than acknowledging the deeply entrenched societal pressures that devalue aging women and glorify youth. Instead of compassionately unpacking that tension, the book pathologizes it within the first two pages. I found that disappointing enough that I wrote a review.

I was hoping for a book that honored the complex, nuanced, and often painful transition from girlhood to womanhood one that understood women as products of both their inner lives and the systems they navigate. Unfortunately, Maiden to Mother felt like it was speaking down to women not rising up with them. Read Motherhood: Facing and Finding Yourself by Lisa Marciano if you’re craving a genuinely deep exploration of becoming the Mother archetype.

[Bianca · Rating 4 out of 5]

Through this book I realized that as a woman, you don't need to give birth to children in order to embody mother energy, and I've learned why it's important to transition into this phase of our lives.
I enjoyed the journaling excercies, it was a great opportunity to get to know myself a bit better.
It's a great book for any woman who wants to learn how to self-source, to put down the weight of social expectations, and to find ageing pleasurable, in a world that has conditioned us to do anything possible to avoid it.

[Katherine Rutherford · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love the author’s voice. She communicates her experiences well —and with such insightfulness!!! It’s hard not to get sucked in right from the start and absorb what she has to say. I liked the exercises in this book. I was able to quickly visualize information but also had a lot to think about once I was there.
The chapters aren’t long, which made it easy to put the book down and pick it back up again. I could chip away a little at a time if I had a busy schedule or complete a few per day if I had the time. I have learned so much about the Maiden to Mother journey from this book, but most of all I enjoyed the period of self-reflection that came with it.

[Rigel · Rating 3 out of 5]

I don't think I'll be ready for this journey for another decade or so, but for those who are, Wilson provides a variety of exercises and journal prompts to aid you through the transition.

[Emily Taylor · Rating 1 out of 5]

Essentially said the same short story over and over again in a hundred different ways adding no extra value or nuance.

[Eugenia Copeland · Rating 2 out of 5]

I loved the idea of this book but sadly the tone is set so much in victimhood. Blame society for all of women’s problems- just not the narrative I believe in for women’s empowerment and transitions.

[Alaura · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars

[Henry · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a good read. Especially that I’m reading this while also reading Marion Woodman’s Conscious Femininity, someone the author frequently mentioned in the book.

As the author of this book repeatedly mentioned: age and maturity are not correlated. Woodman’s main thesis in her book is that - true to Jungian thought - vast majority of people’s illnesses - ranging from addiction, self-harm - stem from the fact that said person’s conscious and collective unconscious are not aligned. As we increasingly embark on the journey through the scientific method - which absolutely has its merits - we increasingly embark on the journey of avoiding communicating to our inner voice. Spirituality, since can’t be explained by science and can’t be readily replicated and peer-reviewed, has now been seen as purely pseudo science, akin to witchcraft of yesterday.

Carl Jung, as well as Marion Woodman, tend not to like to write in scientific formats. As Woodman mentioned in her book, the reason she does that is because she isn’t trying to communicate to a person’s conscious mind. She only wants to communicate through stories to reach the person’s innate unconsciousness.

The author of the book deploys both methods: she jumps around with her own real life stories - of her upbringing, or her unmet childhood needs (which could also be explained by Fruedian theory) - with stories of how a maiden eventually migrates to become a mother…

As I am typing this, I realized that I have so much to say. Yet, I quickly realized that much of what I wanted to say can only be communicated through spiritual means - through imagries, parables - even religious or even philosophical dogma from the West to the East. The more advanced I’m in this spiritual journey, which began in my early 20s, the more I realized that our forefathers before me, despite looking different, using different languages or methods, all have been telling me the same thing. It’s about Quaker’s inner light teaching; or the Bible's idea of God speaks through solitude. It’s about Buddha’s teaching of suffering, or Tao Te Ching’s teaching of Wu Wei (or better translated with Bruce Lee’s famous quote, “be water”).

In the end, I want to sum up with Woodman’s main idea, that in today’s life, we’re constantly busy for the sake of business. The reality is that we simply don’t want to face our “inner civil war”. That we much rather distract ourselves as much as we possibly could - through ever increasing amounts of dopamine hit manifest in endless amounts of tribal superiority - but yet, under the eyes of the more enlightened, it’s nothing but sadness. The more make-up one puts on, only reveals the more inner nakedness one feels.

[Maria · Rating 3 out of 5]

I've read a few books on healing the inner child and this felt like a feminine focused version of that. I will admit, a lot of this book felt a bit repetitive with very little nuance but I do believe the way the author wrote our journey from "Wounded Maiden" to "Mother" was still a beautiful way to put it. Our "Wounded Maiden" is the part of ourselves, as women, that we feel the constant need of validation from others to feel valued and loved and cherished and continue to sit and almost wallow in the hurt the world and others have inflicted upon us. She mentions that life happens to the "Maiden" and that life happens through the "Mother". It is when we fully embrace and become our inner "Mother" that we are able to become the nurturing, compassionate, empathetic, and loving version of ourselves; the next stage of life which then allows us to extend this energy outward toward those around us, our community, and the Earth. It is essentially when we allow ourselves to sit in our uncomfortable emotions and handle them in a way that we are not so reactive, but responsive and that really resonated with me. There were some parts of the book and practices that were a little too "witchy woo" for me, personally, but I understand what the author was trying to say and teach. The exercises were definitely a bonus and provided a lot of insight and clarity, especially during a time in my life where I feel I sort of need this "Mother" presence. I will say, at first I was not on board with the constant mention of the patriarchy as I do not feel placing blame on one issue is entirely fair, but she does go on to mention that men, as well, need that healthy masculinity that our society so devastatingly lacks to teach men and make them feel safe enough to live in a society where they will not be judged for their imperative need to be able to be vulnerable without judgement in order to be "Father" figures. Or whatever you wanna call it. Overall, still an insightful read.

[Davyd Williams · Rating 4 out of 5]

It’s time Mother up, y’all. We’re healing our inner voices, rejecting patriarchal pedophilic prescriptive femininity, giving crones their crowns, and stepping into power. Colonizer culture likes womanhood like it likes its lawns, trapped in a prepubescent prison, celebrating buds and tossing out the blossom.

The book is neat! I’m open to goddess work and spirituality so I enjoyed the tone and medium. If that’s not for you, maybe ask why. It’s chill but like, check it out. However, at the end of the day, it’s all about finding your spell, finding your words, and finding the friends who can both support you and light up your spirit. Make a new world, an old world of connectivity, compassion and filling up your cup til the beauty spills over, til you and the world have no choice but to flower.

A highlight for me of the book was the b*tch to She-Wolf reframe. Hell yeah.

[Meagan]

I might rate this at 3 or 3.5 stars based on where I am in my journey with this work right now. Had I read this at a different point, I might rate it differently. Such is the experience with all books - are they finding you at the moment you need them.

I definitely took away some nuggets and a few things really landed deeply, striking chords inside. A lot of it felt like it was trying to convince me of something that I didn't need convincing for.

[Sofie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing

Profound if you are a woman on a path to understanding yourself better, healing your wounds, and coming into bloom. This book has taught me so much. I was highlighting on almost every page. I would recommend it to everyone. Feeling so grateful for this portable and beautiful life guidance.

[Lindsay Schaefer · Rating 3 out of 5]

I would give four stars as I did enjoy the bits at the end of the chapter where she has you do visualisations which i enjoyed and the overall intention of the book.
I however do not like her representation of the goddess Inanna.
Also the authors story got quite repetitive and like a long infomercial for her influencer program.

[cypher · Rating 2 out of 5]

it might be well intentioned, but it was too melodramatic...
"wounded"...we're all "wounded"...we can stop complaining a bit more and go make good choices without so much avoidance, procrastination and a bag full of excuses (that baggage).

DNF, it's possible i'm missing my patience for/with this.

[Hannah Kafer · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a beautifully written book and especially beautiful to listen to. Although some of the spiritual themes around the Goddess were hard for me to grasp as a former Christian who has deconstructed and is now an atheist, I loved the book overall. I am trying to learn to love myself and love others more, and I think this book helped me on my journey.

[Margaret Schaper · Rating 4 out of 5]

Follow me on StoryGraph cuz it’s better than Goodreads 🫡

Bought the physical copy of the book because i will need to revisit. Definitely a witchy book based on manifestations and intentions. Great insight for where i am in my life. Makes me want to read more books on this subject.

Read on kindle.

[Beatriz Bloom · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was really helpful to me at a time when I was still learning to mother myself. It made me realize some patterns that weren’t serving me and that kept me stuck in the “little girl victim mode” unable to fully heal and to blossom into the woman I wanted to be. It came at the perfect time. I will revisit this book in the future when I need a reminder! Thank you 🙏🏽

[Maja Maria · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a book! I’m grateful for the perspective it offers and the way it encourages women to break open and LIVE more/better/for the first time in their lives maybe?

“If we don’t tend to the fire inside, it will kill us. But if we nourish it, it will guide us.”

[Leila · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a sweet novel I loved how she spoke about her mom, me personally am close with my mom and this story brought me tears I would recommend reading it since it does give meditation and it helped me go to my inner self.

[Salma · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really liked the idea of this book and what the difference between maiden, mother, and crone is. I especially liked the explanation on the transition from maiden to mother. I didn't really care much for the mythical stuff though, and that's why I gave it 3 stars.

[Farah · Rating 5 out of 5]

This came at the perfect season of my life. Thank you for honoring the feminine principle.

[Felicia Tsam · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really a 3.5 but the meditations were quite nice and the book was quite well written for the genre and topic.