In My Father's House

Voice in the American West

by Dorothy Allred Solomon

The author describes the polygamous marriages of her father and grandfather, her husband's experiences in Vietnam, and her father's murder

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Religion, Polygamy, Biography, Autobiography

312 pages, Library Binding

First published October 1, 1984

Reviews

[Tiffany Smart · Rating 3 out of 5]

The first 1/3 of the book was bearable. Intriguing information (although I’m not sure how reliable or true some of the reported Mormon doctrine was) about living in a polygamist family. Author did a fair job representing both sides of polygamy and helped me as the reader gain a limited understanding and empathy of that way of life. The last 2/3 of the book ruined it completely for me. Incomprehensible ramblings about her “visions” and attempts to understand herself and her world. She jumped all over the place spending a lot of time on poetic descriptions but then completely leaving out the progressing storyline of her and her husband/children. Finished simply on the principal that I finish every book I start. Would have loved to see her go into more detail about the stories she presented instead of the “flowery prose” about her feelings which didn’t always make sense.

[Amy · Rating 1 out of 5]

I've thought a lot about what I could comment on, but I am still pondering the book. I think Solomon's story from her polygamist point of view was interesting and showed a lot of true emotions. However, there were too many shady comments about the Mormon church that she misrepresented. Would not recommend this book.

[Monica Willyard Moen · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was quite painful to read. The author wrote it well. It’s her topic that I found painful. In the introduction, she says that she wanted to share the comforts and joys as well as the heartaches of living in a polygamist family and being one of over four dozen children. She achieved this goal admirably. She has tried to paint her grandfather and father as men who had deeply held religious beliefs requiring them to adopt plural marriage as part of their Mormon faith. That may be partially true. However, there is one fact that I couldn’t overcome in excepting this viewpoint. Neither of these men married their first wife with the intention of offering plural marriage. In fact, the grandfather had specifically said he would not seek plural marriage and promised his in-laws that before he married Charlotte, his first wife. This grandfather had seven children with Charlotte before supposedly having a religious renewal that required him to take a second wife. Rather conveniently, he met a woman he fell in love with very shortly after this conversion. In fact, he did not approach his wife Charlotte with the idea of excepting plural marriage until he met the woman he fell in love with. Charlotte lived in the 1880s in a time when divorce was very uncommon and within a church that taught women to be completely obedient to their husbands. She was in between a rock and a hard place, believing that if she defied her husband, she also defied their church. For that reason, she sorrowfully excepted the plural marriage but was not happy after that point.
The authors father married his wife with no intention of plural marriage and again had said to her that there’s would be a monogamous marriage. They had three children together before he received a letter from his father and claimed that he had a religious awakening as well. Unlike Charlotte, this man’s wife objected to the plural marriage until she reached the point where her husband said he was going to do it regardless of her feelings. She accused him of giving into lust, took her children, and left him. He made no effort to reconcile. Within the next year, he took five wives. From that time on, he, his wives, and their children we’re constantly on the run, avoiding law-enforcement as well as members of the mainline LDS church who denounced their lifestyle. The author of this book was his 28th child. He was prolific in childbearing because he believed that souls were waiting to be born and that it was his personal task to ensure that as many children could be born as possible.
All of us come to any given book we read with some pre-existing ideas. One of my deeply held beliefs is that marriage should be monogamous. The Bible commands that, and I have never seen a polyamorous relationship work out well over the long-term. My experience with polygamist couples is fairly limited, but I do know some of them. I have found that many of them are like the couples described in this book where one party had no intention of being in a polygamist marriage and felt compelled to do so either because they would defy their church or because they were given in marriage by their father.
For me, this book was heartbreaking because I felt such compassion for Charlotte and for the wife of the authors father. Nobody likes to have a bait and switch pulled on them. If you marry a man who pledges monogamy to you, you have children with him so that you are somewhat dependent on him financially, and then he decides to bring other women into the marriage no matter how much it hurts you, that is a bait and switch.

[CHRISTOPHER G · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read the latest edition (2009) with the new preface and epilogue. Wow, what a story! Born into a contemporary fundamentalist polygamist family, constantly on the run from police raids in the 1950s and ‘60s, the author shares with us what it was like to grow up as a “plygie” kid with a spiritual giant for a father. “In My Father’s House” is a poignant memoir of the joys of large families (7 mothers; 48 siblings) balanced with the emotional toll of plural marriage. As she navigates her deconversion from the “Principle” to monogamy—branding her as a black sheep of the family—we become privy to the author’s journey to find her true calling before her father is murdered by a rival religious faction. The writing is lyrical, often poetic, and sometimes mystical. I’ve read every book the author has written and can’t wait to read her latest, currently in press.

[Tammy Low · Rating 3 out of 5]

A memoir of a woman, the 28th of 48 children belonging to Rulon Clark Allred, the leader of a polygamist fundamentalist group in the 1960’s-70’s. This is the story of her bizarre childhood: the poverty, fear, lies, love, and her eventual autonomy. Rulon is murdered by rival sect leader Ervin Lebaron in 1977.

[Debbie · Rating 3 out of 5]

It is so strange how polygamy is considered a religion. It seems to me it is all about the men having control over everything. From having as many wives as they want to spread thier seed to having control over anything that involves money. They also involve men of all ages marrying young girls and women. Sometimes even sisters. They are taught and brought up that the outsiders are evil.

[Shannon]

DNFd at page 20

[Traci · Rating 3 out of 5]

So much eye rolling over some of the archaic principles practiced by fundamentalist Mormons. Being Utah born and bread this had a familiar setting. left me feeling grateful I was born and raised differently.

[Denise · Rating 3 out of 5]

Story about a little girl growing up in a Polygamist family in Utah in the 50s. By the end of her fathers life he had a dozen wives and more than 40 children. He was a "doctor" practicing medicine as a naturopath, and set the narrators broken arm with gauze when she was a child.
It is eye-opening to see the reasoning of these poor girls who were brainwashed into believing polygamy is good for the family. While on one hand she recognizes her mother's loneliness, betrayal, and feels her own abandonment and jealousy she constantly points out that God wanted it that way, that women should feel lucky to "share" her father and that even in her own relationships "sharing" is an option. But she is mortified when a women she knows who is married wants to share...
I'm glad I read it, but I can't say I love it because half the time I was outraged that women let themselves be so docile. The only woman who got it right was the true "first" wife, who abandoned Mr Allred when he announced he was bringing on wife 2. A whole new world view....

[Robert Jordan · Rating 3 out of 5]

This story was an interesting and honest account of growing up in a polygamous household portraying the good and bad aspects of this lifestyle. Surrounded by loving parents and extended family there was always and undercurrent of competition for recognition, land, and religious piety. The description of a life dominated by a patriarch espousing his vision of the world was fascinating. To me the lifestyle is about power made “right” under the guise of religion. A patriarchal society is a recipe for dysfunction..

[Marjanne · Rating 3 out of 5]

I like that this book is kind of the more positive side of modern day polygamy. There are plenty of negative things, but compared to some of the memoirs I've read on polygamy this was pretty tame (though interesting). The author comes across as more objective than some. This author kind of highlighted that there are more polygamous groups out there than even I realized, and several of them seem quite scary and cult-like. I would probably recommend this book to anyone interested in this topic.

[Katie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Kudos to the author for being brave enough to present the positive, normal side of polygamy, in addition to presenting some plausible arguments in support of the practice. Other than that, though, I found her constant inner musings, complete with detailed dreams and quasi-visions filled with light and premonitions, a little much. Her pervasive analogies, though admittedly poetic, just made the prose more soggy.

[Atarah]

Typical tale of a child going up in a strict religious home. It was different that she tries to resolve her conflict with polygamy at the end. Overall an interesting read, but I think the book would have been harder to understand if I didnt have prior knowledge of FLDS and polygamy within Mormonism.

[Alice · Rating 3 out of 5]

For someone like me trying to understand why any woman, not religious herself, would stand for sharing a husband with countless other women. Convinced me brainwashing is alive and well in the 21st century.

[Melissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is written by my great aunt. I had heard some of these family stories growing up, but learning them through firsthand experience is wonderful.

[Garett · Rating 3 out of 5]

I could feel what a huge relief this was for the author to write. It was interesting for me to get a closer look on what it was like growing up in a polygamous family.

[Vicki · Rating 3 out of 5]

Written by one of my neighbors, this was a compelling book that was really hard emotionally to read but well-written and interesting. I'm on to all her other books . . .

[Alexis Thompson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not much new in this--but I supposed when it was first published it was a revelation.

[Michelle]

Made it through 100 pages; just couldn't get into it. So much focus on the raids; I just lost interest.

[Katharine · Rating 4 out of 5]

A personal and emotional account of life in a plural family and all of the corresponding drama.

[Deanna · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have read this book previously, it is a difficult story, even the second time through- sad and tragic. I worked with the author, she is amazing. What a story...