Openhearted: Eighty Years of Love, Loss, Laughter and Letting Go

by Ann Ingle

SHORTLISTED FOR TWO IRISH BOOK AWARDS 2021

'Something they don't tell you about getting older is that you fall. Oh, you hear about it in passing, of course, "She had a fall, poor thing". Falling is not something you ever think about as a younger woman. You think about falling in love . . .'

At 20 Londoner Ann Ingle fell madly in love with an Irish fellow she met on holiday in Cornwall. At the church to arrange their shotgun wedding she discovered that he hadn't even told her his real name.

Sixty-odd years later Ann looks back on that first glorious fall and in a series of essays considers what she has learned from the life that followed - bringing eight children into the world, their father's years of mental illness and tragic death at 40, being a cash-strapped single mother in 1980s Dublin, coming into her own in her middle years - going to college, working and writing, and continuing to evolve and learn into her ninth decade, even as she accepts the realities of being 'old'.


Candid about everything that matters - love, sex, heartbreak, money, class, religion, mental health, rearing children (and letting them go), reading and writing, ageing - Openhearted is a compelling story about living life in a spirit of curiosity and delight and with a willingness to look for good in others.


___________________


'By some distance the most courageous, most poignant, most life-affirming memoir I've read in the last twenty years and more' Paul Howard


'Genuinely inspirational. I LOVE ANN INGLE' Marian Keyes


'What a beautiful openhearted, at times broken-hearted memoir ... honest, funny, searingly direct, a wonderful voice ... remarkable' Joe Duffy


'Really beautiful. Searingly honest, astonishingly frank and very, very funny' Maia Dunphy

Genres: Nonfiction, Audiobook, Memoir

304 pages, Hardcover

Published September 23, 2021

Reviews

[Mella · Rating 5 out of 5]

One day he took the children for a walk along the old railway tracks in Sandymount and he came home with a plant in his hand with bright green and shiny leaves. Beneath the leaves was a long white root, like a parsnip. 'It's horseradish,' he said, 'you can make sauce out of it.'

[Willo · Rating 5 out of 5]

An amazing story told with warmth and love.
Can we have more about Sr Agnes in the next volume?

[Bláith · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellently written memoir and a delight to read. With every second chapter weaving between past and present you get a full insight into Ingle’s life, with emphasis on her coming to terms with old age as well as her love for, and bumpy relationship with, her late husband Peter.

I adore the early passages of Ingle, originally from London, meeting this rogue of an Irishman and gradually immersing herself into Irish culture. Societal issues experienced by Ingle are engaged thoughtfully, and many of these are still debated today; from abortion, class and socio-economic disadvantage to alcoholism, mental illness, suicide and associated stigma. Her illustration of the treatment of persons with mental illness in Irish psychiatric institutions asylums in the 1970s is enraging and deeply upsetting.

In presenting both the ups and downs of her life, Ingle displays “open-hearted” honesty and optimism throughout her memoir. It is both captivating and uplifting, yet heartbreaking in many aspects. In taking a page from Ingle’s book, I’ll aim to take better care of my teeth and feet, sure, but above all else to show compassion for others and to cherish the small fleeting moments in life.

“I loved you the best” 😭

[Terry Kinane · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this memoir. Ann ingle reminds me of my mum. A strong, intelligent, patient woman who raised a large family in difficult circumstances. She writes with honesty and integrity and I so enjoyed listening to her narrate her own story.

[Bernie O Brien · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a lovely book . It reminded me so much of the harshness of life for women in Ireland like Ann , my late mother and aunts. I’ve enjoyed Ann’s book reviews over the last couple of years on The Irish Times women’s podcast- an intelligent and articulate woman. She describes living with someone with mental health issues well- and it’s tough. I admire her achievements as they came later in life . Well Done 👏

[Alva · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well, this was an absolute joy to read. In a tragic, unsettling sort of way, but still a joy. Such honest openhearted writing from Ann Ingle as she charts her life from meeting Paddy to married life with Peter. Mental illness is a soul-destroying thing, not only for the person experiencing it but for all their loved ones who try their best to accommodate the illness. Ann Ingle draws a vivid picture for readers, heartbreaking at times, but raw and true. There are some lovely anecdotes throughout this story even through tragedy. I love the exposure of the invisibility of old people - how we should make sure this doesn't happen, how their voices should never be silenced just because they are old. I loved this book. I learned a lot from it. And it was hugely entertaining despite the sadness.

[Bláithín · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely amazing, would recommend to readers of all ages!

[Claire O'Brien · Rating 4 out of 5]

In her very honest and frank memoir, Ann Ingle writes about what it's like to be in your 80s and become either invisible or infantilised. It really made me think, and I think most of society could do with reading some of the sections. She also talks very candidly about her husband's mental health issues and the terrible treatment he received in the 1970s, which was heart-breaking.

Ingle wrote this book as part of a weekly workshop she attended, and to a degree it shows. There is no grandiose writing or beautiful paragraphs, but there is the honest story of her life, which was difficult, but filled with love. I was engrossed, ignoring everything else as I read and I was left thinking about many of the things she said. It made me miss my own mother very much, not least because I would have passed it onto her to read next.

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this memoir. There were many moments that hit me hard with a feeling of connection. As Ann looks back over her full, busy, not-always-positive life, there is a sense of wisdom and understanding that comes with hindsight. Her love for her husband, Peter who died aged 41, is complicated and yet simple, just as love often is. Despite the difficulties and trials, she has encountered, she has an openhearted and open-eyed approach to life that takes the best of it without being blind to the worst.

[Candia L · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is so compelling, it’s like you’re sitting at her kitchen table across from her with a big pot of tea between you. What is frustrating about her - her tolerance of a terrible husband - is also what is interesting and to some extent endearing. Her absolute honesty about being generous, giving, tolerant and very very good company.

[Aisling Doonan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm not sure why I didn't like this book, I found it hard to connect with the author's voice. She was aloof and the horror and grief just didn't appear on the page to correspond with her story. She led an interesting and tough life, but I feel like we only scratched the surface. Nicely written and laid out though.

[Darragh Kelly]

An enjoyable easy read. The author had a difficult life but the book is a triumph of her spirit. An enjoyable read. Saw her being interviewed by Marian Keyes at the Hinterlands Festival in Kells last year.

[Karen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I appreciated the author’s openness and honesty about aging, abortion, religion, going to university as a very mature student, and the joys and horrors of being married to a man with serious mental health challenges.

[Aisling · Rating 4 out of 5]

Warm, honest, page-turner. Beautiful.

[Orlaith · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great story, well told. Very candid.

[Mairead · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loving

[Ashley · Rating 5 out of 5]

I haven't ever read a book so moving. I never wanted it to end. I will be recommending this to all the readers in my life.

[Bookclub7 · Rating 5 out of 5]

Exactly what it says on the tin! Open Hearted, honest and charming!

[Aoibhinn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a lovely, emotional, beautiful read from such an interesting lady! 10/10

[Catherine · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fantastic absorbing read which is structured very well and so easy to follow. The book takes the reader on a journey and I was hooked from the start.

[Natalie Formica]

A low burn but ENJOYED the story.

[Elena · Rating 5 out of 5]

Words cannot explain how much I loved this book. Beautifully written and inspirational. I feel lucky to have picked it up when I did. My new favorite book.

[Jul · Rating 3 out of 5]

Book Club Book: it wasn't bad but it wasn't good. And the narrative was all over the place.

[Clare Russell · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such an interesting book about love, societal change and ageing

[Sophie Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book made me cry, so well written and so down to earth